Birthday Week!! | TheaterFire

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JamesMattDillon@reddit

I never once got a birthday week or a month. Let alone friends taking me on vacations for my birthday. I did get a dinner here and there for the birthday. A present or two.

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wafair@reddit

With busy schedules in my family, it’s more like “It’s my birthday, let’s get together sometime this month”

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I’ve always been into birthdays and mine is no exception. I’ve definitely leaned in more as I’ve gotten older mostly because I feel like it’s one of the few times I can be selfish and get away with it. I don’t expect gifts or lavish trips from my friends or family but I just want to have an excuse to get together (and tell my kids no one is allowed to complain about the restaurant or activity I choose).

My birthday is the week after new years so it kinda sucks. Everyone is burnt out. But it also works really well for me to set some goals for the year. My goal for January was to connect with each of my closest friends within a month and I was able to do that. Barely, but did it.

I also try to focus on some self care - take the day off work, tell no one, go for a hopefully snowy and peaceful hike, get a massage and a manicure, drink a hot beverage with a book, and then get a little spoiled by my partner!

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Tinkerfan57912@reddit

Dinner and cake on my birthday is all imwantto do

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Workamania@reddit

I like celebrating my birthday for a day, but schedules don't always align. So it's whenever we can all get together, and then something with just my wife on the actual day.

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bigfancydelta@reddit

It's a female thing in my experience. My wife always claimed 'BIRTHDAY MONTH', but we would celebrate like we always have, couple nice dinners, maybe a nice outing somewhere, a party with friends if she felt like it. Clubs, bars, crazy trips were never a thing, thank goodness! I spoil her wicked, dont get me wrong, but I don't do crowded places well, and I'm thankful she doesn't either 😁

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Fun_Committee1478@reddit

Omg. I knew a girl once who threw herself a party every Saturday for a month because it was “her birthday month”. Another girl went to Paris AND Key West the month of her birthday. And she invited a bunch of people to go on these trips, lol no one could of course. People forget, not everyone wants to celebrate YOU all the time.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit

I just cringe at it because of past trauma

On my birthday if i got anything my sisters had to get gifts too, on theirs only they got gifts

If we did anything at all on my birthday we went to my sisters favorite restaurant, places i hated and just sat there eating nothing, on my sister's birthdays they had large parties with a bounce house or a pony

When i got anything as a gift it was usually something i didn't want and had no interest in, because my family didn't give a shit about me to know that, and it was added to a debt ledger my mother kept and insisted i had to pay her back for with interest, my sister's didn't have that kind of thing.

If i got anything at all i was shamed for it and told i was a waste of money, especially my grandmother, who would then tell me i should have been an abortion.

My father had a traditional to pinch and twist to give me a bruise then punch me in the stomach saying "happy birthday, heres a pinch to grow an inch and a punch to grow a bunch"

If i was irritated by still being sore from the bruises, nit getting anything or bring told i had to work off sonrthing i didn't want, bfing insulted and demeaned, and bring hungry because i got nothing at my sister's favorite restaurant they would yell at me and hit me for ruining their fun.

By the time i was 10 i hated birthdays

as an adult i hide it and don't let people know about it, and if they do its awkward for me to acknowledge , and i am reluctant to accept anything and don't know what to say or do.

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bikeonychus@reddit

Oh I feel this in my bones. I'm sorry you went through this, that is awful, awful treatment.

Mine was less severe. I remember getting parties up until I was about 8 years old. But every time my mum or my dad had to come in and ruin it because I was having too much fun. The last party I had, I remember my dad losing his shit, dragging me from the ball pit, and screaming at me Infront of all the other kids and their parents. I lost all of my friends that day. I don't even remember what I did wrong.

Happened for every other birthday. Worst was my 18th. Still had no friends. They took me to a Chinese restaurant, they all dressed up in nice clothes, but I didn't have any. Only jeans and t-shirt. I stuck out like a sore thumb. My mum nit picked me the whole night about my looks, the waiter kept mistaking me for a boy, someone at another table got a birthday dessert and I wasn't allowed to tell the restaurant it was my birthday. Got home, and somehow I ruined my own birthday night?

Anyway. I'm currently not speaking to them, and my mother is threatening to kill herself over it. I'm just done. Absolutely empty.

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elonmusktheturd22@reddit

Yup, people like that always blame the victim for ruining everything when they stand up to abuse

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Double-Tradition413@reddit

It sounds like you could make it a way to treat your trauma to love yourself on that day at least. You deserved so much more than you got.

When you were born a new light came into this world. It’s the truth for all of us. I hope that you can overcome your trauma and celebrate yourself on that day, week or even month. You don’t even have to tell anybody that you’re doing it. You can just do it and use it as a month that you know you deserve to feel special and to feel like you are the gift that you are as a human being on this planet.

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cloudydays2021@reddit

I stopped being friends with someone because she celebrated “birthday month” well into her 30s and not just for milestone years. The last straw was when she got mad at me for flying OOS because my niece was born. She was upset that now she’d have to “share her birthday month” with my niece.

I told her to fuck off and never spoke to her again.

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Adrasteia-One@reddit

Damn, some people are so entitled. Good for you with that response.

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odin_the_wiggler@reddit

My friend's fiancee told all of her friends that they couldn't get married during an entire year because "it is my year".

You can just guess how that went over.

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Double-Tradition413@reddit

What!? 😆 that is unreal. You were definitely right to let her go as a friend.

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JaxxisR@reddit

I usually take a week off work. I dunno if that counts.

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GoodElectricNW@reddit

I'm turning 50 next month. I'm taking a week off. I'm self employed and need a vacation. Kids get out if school the same week. It'll be nice.

Never took even a day off for my birthday before.

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R0botDreamz@reddit

"Only 2 more months until my birthday month!"

Really... ? And you'll be turning 28?

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-Odi-Et-Amo-@reddit

It’s my birthday month right now!!

I call it a birthday month to my husband just to annoy him. But I do tend to “celebrate” myself throughout the whole month with the excuse that it’s my birthday.

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ShowMeYourHappyTrail@reddit

For the most part, my birthday is overlooked and overshadowed by a certain religious figure so I've learned that my birthday is just an afterthought and doesn't really matter. I require my ice cream cake though.

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Separate_Counter9427@reddit

Never made sense to me either! But I think this was more of a female thing. I never ever met a dude that was into the birthday week.

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AstuteStoat@reddit

The only person I met who did this was a dude that was pretty narcissistic. I don't think he was full NPD so I hope he's grown out of it now.

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scifithighs@reddit

This is funny to me because the only person I know who does this is a very manly man!

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MetsFan3117@reddit (OP)

Agreed. As a female I think this is common and ridiculous!

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Automatic_Beat5808@reddit

My friend, It's not about the opulence. It's an excuse to get people to shut the fuck up when they're bothering you. "Um, It's my birthday week. I don't want to do that."

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No-Championship-8677@reddit

I’m a huge celebrator of myself and my birthday! Birthday month is a thing for me! Celebrating all month long. I always tell people facetiously that my birthday is a national holiday 🤣

I love to travel so I love to travel for my birthday. I don’t do birthday parties or birthday dinners though. I prefer to celebrate/travel alone. I have two close friends whose birthdays are near mine and we celebrate together with a dinner/trip, but I would never do that thing where I have a big birthday dinner and expect people to spend tons of money.

I refuse to spend my life not celebrating myself, and not to appreciate the miracle of getting older ♥️

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WendyPortledge@reddit

I always hated those girls saying “it’s my birthday month!” But as a 40-something, I have chosen to embrace it. Rarely can I celebrate on my actual birthday. So, I say the whole month is my birthday month. Anything special that happens within that month is for my birthday. That way, I’m still celebrating without the disappointment on the day.

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Double-Tradition413@reddit

I love this! Good for you.

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WendyPortledge@reddit

I didn’t celebrate most of my 30s. Then one birthday I had booked a psychologist appointment. She was disappointed in me. She told me never to do that again. Make time to celebrate myself. Our birthday is our one true special day. We are worth celebrating.

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ObligationJumpy6415@reddit

Same here - I’ve always called it birthday month and while I don’t plan extravagances, if we happen to hang out with friends or go to dinner, it’s ’for my birthday.’ I’m a summer baby so never got the school celebrations as a kid, and it’s just a way to be silly and eschew the idea of being ‘too grown up’ to celebrate another trip around the sun.

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SilverAsparagus2985@reddit

I used to be like this.

I realized I normalized being disappointed instead of celebrating little victories. Now, with a friend as an accountability partner, we are trying to take little wins and celebrations back.

It’s something that I realized I need to do. Joy is something all these wonderful systems {sarcasm} want to beat out of you. I refuse to be joyless. I refuse to just wait for life to happen. We’re all ending up in the same first bath!

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WendyPortledge@reddit

100%!

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Unlucky_Profit_776@reddit

I like to do a couple of things in different days. The Coney Island Mermaid Parade is always the weekend before or during mine, and it's been a yearky tradition. I must have an ice cream cake, maybe karaoke. Then, a week later the whole country celebrates me with fireworks. That's when my dad and I conduct the 1812 Overture from the couch. I think if you enjoy your bday, celebrating a Lil extra is fun.

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DCpurpleTart33@reddit

But it IS my birthday MONTH!!! Hey we made it this far after drinking straight from the hose. WE MUST CELEBRATE!

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Pinkkorn69@reddit

As a 43 year old who doesnt like to celebrate her birthday a week or month sounds like torture lol but I have a lot of friends who do it all from Boomers down to Gen Z so I think it's more common that some people realize..

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SadApartment3023@reddit

My birthday was this week. I was pissed that my coworker circulated a card. I love attention, but not for my birthday.

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SadieBelle85@reddit

I have a birthday week in the sense that I always take the week off work. Then I'll either go away for the week or go out for meals with family and friend groups over the week.

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MetsFan3117@reddit (OP)

Right so it’s a vacation. But is the theme of the vacation your birthday? My birthday is during “spring break” and on a holiday and one year no one I was with or my family mentioned it until early evening.

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Double-Tradition413@reddit

You shouldn’t be afraid to celebrate yourself. I’m sure you deserve it. As long as you’re not doing so on an obnoxious level and expecting friends who are working full-time to do the same thing for you, treat yourself I’m sure you’ve earned it.

There’s definitely a difference between taking time and celebrating yourself and making it all about you for a week, and expecting your friends to take their PTO on a vacation to do that for you unless you’re gonna do the same exact thing for them on their birthday week.

But it almost sounds like you need to treat yourself a little better. Celebrate you. Why not?

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SadieBelle85@reddit

I mean, it's not an all-out "me, me, me" it's my birthday so you have to celebrate week.

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igorpk@reddit

this is the way my partner and I do it too. Bonus that our birthdays are close together.

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Outrageous_Way_4258@reddit

Oddly I became a birthday week person in my 30s. I was never someone who liked celebrating my birthday. It felt like too much pressure to be happy and have a good time or to do big group thing. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood and I don’t really like being the center of attention in a big party. It’s stressful.

Having a birthday week took the pressure off that ONE day to be good. Now I just do a few things throughout the week that are nice with the people I care about one on one or just alone. Definitely not in the me-me-me extravagant vacation category. I’m pretty much the opposite.

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scifithighs@reddit

My birthday is 2 days after xmas, so if I get anything besides a phone call or a combo gift, I'm exalted. Birthday week has always struck me as very self-centered tbh....

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Double-Tradition413@reddit

I feel like it’s a compensation for being latchkey kids and possibly being a somewhat ignored generation.

I have definitely had years where I did that for myself, but less so now. Maybe I’ve gotten satisfied with the level of attention I gave myself during those times.

But I never expected my friends to indulge me on that level. It was more my immediate family because I do so much for them.

I think being a parent made me demand more in my birthday month as well. I mean, parents really get neglected! Lol

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PhoneJazz@reddit

Yeah the “birthday month”-ers have a bit of main character energy, but who cares, I don’t judge or begrudge and I let them enjoy what they enjoy.

In this world, you have to find joy wherever you can. And you only live once. To me, birthday celebrations are the stuff of life. The people around you singing Happy Birtbday may not be there someday, so celebrate with your loved ones while you still can.

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Background-Bag171@reddit

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