[-]

ACcbe1986@reddit

Based on stereotypes I've encountered in the past, it seems like a criminal amount of ketchup to use in Europe.

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TrainingFilm4296@reddit

Was that the one witg ketchup as a salad dressing?

[-]

Erpes2@reddit

Sadly its not the only one with ketchup on the salad

[-]

exodyne@reddit

Looks more like a salsa of some sort to me on the lettuce and meat above. You can see small chunks in it, whereas it's pretty clearly ketchup seen on the potatoes to the right.

[-]

MaeBelleLien@reddit

It might be slightly different but it still seems pretty ketchup-like. Maybe in Germany they have smooth and chunky versions, like the US has with peanut butter.

[-]

Erpes2@reddit

Nice catch but putting salsa on a salad still classify as a culinary crime in my book

[-]

Heemsama@reddit

Ketchup, mayo, and lettuce seem to play a huge role in OPs day to day

[-]

Subsequently_Unfunny@reddit

Tbf, looks specifically like kewpie mayo and that shit slaps

[-]

benji_90@reddit

Everytime I buy mayo, it expires before I get halfway through it. I really like mayo but only on specific things. It's a bummer.

[-]

Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit

Where are you storing your mayonnaise and what kind are you buying lol

[-]

benji_90@reddit

In the refrigerator. I have tried several beans but they only last 2-3 months in the fridge one opened. And I'm not eating mayo fast enough to finish a bottle in 2-3 months.

[-]

Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit

What are you basing its longevity on?

I have no idea when I bought my big tub of mayo at Costco. It’s still fine lol

[-]

benji_90@reddit

I toss it once it's past its expiration date. I don't mess around with explosion dates on something known for transmitting salmonella.

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Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit

Unless you’re leaving it on the counter for a while or dipping a dirty utensil in there, you shouldn’t have to waste an entire jar of mayo just because it passed some arbitrary date

[-]

benji_90@reddit

I would engage with you further on this but I don't think we're going to agree on this one. It's just not worth the risk to me.

[-]

benji_90@reddit

The Reddit expiration date experts are out in numbers this morning.

[-]

Rockandmetal99@reddit

well when someone makes a completly incorrect statement, i cant help but correct them because i think learning is fun and important. makes me kinda a Poindexter but oh well

[-]

benji_90@reddit

Learning is fun. I'm learning not too bring up best buy and expiration dates on r/shittyfoodporn.

[-]

definitely something that doesn't matter, like if you don't want to eat food past whatever date is on the container then that's totally your call, it's kind of funny to me which comments randomly get latched on to and "🤓☝️ uhm actually" (and im guilty too lol)

[-]

Rockandmetal99@reddit

expired and "sell by/best by" date are completely different

[-]

Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit

Fair enough. It isn’t expired though and you’ve wasted a lot of mayo (and presumably other foods)

[-]

Einstein_Disguise@reddit

https://www.fsis.usda.gov/food-safety/safe-food-handling-and-preparation/food-safety-basics/food-product-dating

Food labels are typically to indicate the best window of quality for the product, not necessarily if it's safe to eat still.

[-]

ghorbanifar@reddit

That’s not how expiration dates work. They are assigned to be much, much earlier than the food would go bad. Trust your nose.

[-]

MagCatRed@reddit

The 4 year old jar mayo look in disgust at your pathetic weak mayo.

[-]

benji_90@reddit

Your mayo will graduate from high school the same year as my nephew.

[-]

rts93@reddit

Vegetables, dairy, fats. A well balanced diet eh.

[-]

AppUnwrapper1@reddit

I lost it when I got to the ketchup on lettuce.

[-]

Neil_sm@reddit

That's how they sprinkle in some variety for excitement. Today we're putting the ketchup on the lettuce and the mayo on the fries!

[-]

PantsGhost97@reddit

It actually looks more like a salsa

[-]

Sharp-Potential5955@reddit

This is where I balled my fist up. Probably the most evil thing to happen in Germany

[-]

Neil_sm@reddit

But they don't seem to like their bread toasted

[-]

onamonapizza@reddit

The ketchup on the salad really threw me

[-]

MrD3a7h@reddit

It is very impressive that OP is attending university at the age of six.

[-]

Fuzzy_Redwood@reddit

Cheap seasoning. I was really broke at university

[-]

Ikillwhatieat@reddit

I was about to say the same thing about iceberg lettuce and mayo

[-]

mandpevents@reddit

This is the most poorly veiled advertisement I’ve ever seen. Really, Heinz? Trying to make ketchup seem chic by attaching it to a “European?”

gif

[-]

halffullofthoughts@reddit

Eating like a toddler

[-]

Bottombottoms@reddit

I'm piggybacking off your comment...

These are Wes Anderson title cards.

[-]

stevedusome@reddit

A Wes Anderson movie about a hospital cafeteria

[-]

funkinfrogger@reddit

Hahahahahah yes

[-]

midge_rat@reddit

Napoleon Dynamite

[-]

bionicjoey@reddit

Napoleon, gimme some of your tater tots

[-]

Bottombottoms@reddit

Yes! Thank you!

[-]

Pudix20@reddit

I did think this was r/foodbutforbabies for a second lol but I think as long as OP is eating that’s more than some people can manage and I’m happy for them.

[-]

whisky_biscuit@reddit

Yeah this is a struggle bus meal. You can rearrange that stuff and turn it into something actually good lol

[-]

Southpawn@reddit

Lil bro fucking LOVES his lettuce and fries.

[-]

ChewyMurray@reddit

Which beers are you pairing with this ?

[-]

xxlpmetalxx@reddit

bro a big bag of rice in your local asian market is like 35€ and it feeds you for like 6 months, also noodles exist man

[-]

the-smashed-banjo@reddit

Holy shit eat a vegetable

[-]

Turbulent-Matter501@reddit

what do you think lettuce is?

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the-smashed-banjo@reddit

Barely more than crispy water

[-]

ratmfreak@reddit

Uh no. It’s got lots of nutrients. It’s just not calorically dense.

[-]

puff_of_fluff@reddit

D:

[-]

februarytide-@reddit

Everyone’s been roasting you OP, so I’m just here to commiserate. After college I (American) lived in Germany in for a year on a research fellowship before grad school. I was young and alone and homesick so even though honestly it wasn’t all that different I found it tough to adapt and I ate a lot of weird, sad shit even though I’m an adventurous eater and had solid basic cooking skills. Like I’m talking cold canned chickpeas with cold plain tofu. I had limited funds, limited fridge space (super different from the US lol), and limited cooking utensils and no oven, and lived with a roommate who really begrudged living with a foreign introvert and would not allow me to use any of her kitchen stuff because she thought the food I made was gross and she was a petulant child who didn’t like me (Janine, you suck. But go ahead and keep drinking and smoking alone in the kitchen)

It was only once I made a friend - only a few months before returning home - that I started getting better ideas on German recipes and such and was able to make better use of my nearby Rewe. Bratnudeln was one of my faves, and tomato salad with feta cheese or a good old belegtes brot.

[-]

dts843@reddit

B+ for portion control.

[-]

godverdejezushey@reddit

The average calorie intake for a small pet it seems, I suspect OP might be a cat or perhaps a large rodent

[-]

MagCatRed@reddit

A ROUS you say?

[-]

Cryz-SFla@reddit

I look forward to the release of your coffee table book.

[-]

meratherbebikin@reddit

That is a lot of mayo, ketchup, iceberg

[-]

UpstairsPractical870@reddit

WW2 is over right?

[-]

Lakewater22@reddit

Proud to be an American today, boys

[-]

timomies@reddit

:(

[-]

stopchooingsoloud@reddit

Kewpie mayo and maybe ketchup as your main condiments?

[-]

stopchooingsoloud@reddit

Why would you downvote this? I didn't mean anything bad from this. I was relating to the poster.

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theangryjanitorOG@reddit

All of those meals are considered sides anywhere in America

[-]

djbow@reddit

North America? South America? Central America? This is the internet bro...

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theangryjanitorOG@reddit

..... all of them. They're all fat.

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OriginalGPam@reddit

His portion size are actually really good, especially if he snacks throughout the day. Treating them as side is why we have an obesity epidemic.

[-]

Quantum_Corpse@reddit

Not even in America, those are genuinely tiny portions imo. Unless you eat a lot of them a day, which I doubt a student can.

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notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit

Not really, the portion sizes are mostly decent, it's the content of those portions that's heinous. If you had the same volume of a balanced meal it would be a good plate.

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Eis_ber@reddit

I know this might sound mean, but they sell salad dressing in Germany. You don't have to keep Dumpling mayo on your lettuce. Save that for the fries.

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mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

On a student's budget, with a sperrkonto, without a job? Gotta pinch pennies in some way.

[-]

Yoshli@reddit

Flasche Essig und Öl? Salz Pfeffer? Ne Orange? 😭

[-]

mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

Ich bin sehr faul, hahaha

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delinaX@reddit

So this is a choice then not anything related to money. You can make incredibly good food that doesn't take 3 hours to make. You gotta learn how to cook lazy meals that don't include dumping half a bottle of ketchup and mayo on every meal.

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AppUnwrapper1@reddit

Is mayo dirt cheap by you because it’s not here.

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zerovampire311@reddit

Brand names may be, but I’ve never traveled anywhere that didn’t have some cheap options. It’s not that hard to make yourself even.

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Eis_ber@reddit

Those dressing sachets are cheaper than mayo and you oftentimes only need about a teaspoon of the dry ingredients. Mix with some oil, water and pinch of salt and you have a dressing. Whenever I make mine is enough for two servings.

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userdeath@reddit

It's cheaper than mayo..

[-]

JediKrys@reddit

You have a real hate for eggs don’t you….those poor delicate little pocket snacks.

[-]

jsamuraij@reddit

So your body is like 30% mayo and 55% ketchup at this point, huh?

[-]

yourdadsnewwife420@reddit

Penance food

[-]

alexisgreat420@reddit

Congratulations that all looks horrible

[-]

atworkthough@reddit

:( you want to talk about something?

[-]

NegotiationCute5341@reddit

gif

[-]

NegotiationCute5341@reddit

gif

[-]

freakmeout123@reddit

a balance diet

[-]

Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit

This made my fuckin day

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mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

To add a bit more context, not all of it is ketchup. But yes, it is sauce, mostly pepper sauce.

[-]

Ranger-Einarr@reddit

remember that frozen veggis are as good or even better than fresh ones while not costing much, go for the "ja!" ones.

[-]

Pudix20@reddit

You’re doing your best. You’re gonna be okay. You got this. Proud of you for getting an education and still managing to feed yourself.

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mandpevents@reddit

Please treat yourself to, at the very least, several bags of frozen vegetables. You need to eat vegetables every day, and iceberg lettuce doesn’t count, it has close to no nutritional value. Dark green leafy vegetables, broccoli, green beans. Branch out.

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mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

Ill try and gett better veggies, one that actually fit my fridge shelf. i guess cucumbers and paprikas wouldnt hurt to add to the mix

[-]

BoarHide@reddit

Cucumbers don’t do much of anything for you anything either. They’re a glass of water made solid with a bit of fibre. Please eat real veggies like the person above you recommended

[-]

BYBtek@reddit

Kakoombah have vitamin, mineral—very high numbah!

[-]

Acceptable_Field_567@reddit

Fuck, I just got that out my head and here YOU go. 🥀

[-]

Wide_Comment3081@reddit

It has vitamin k, vitamin c and potassium

[-]

notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit

You don't need to keep peppers in the fridge, so that'll buy you some space.

[-]

Wide_Comment3081@reddit

Potatoes, carrots, paprika, avocado, tomatoes, try to get variety. Eggs if you can afford it.

[-]

Dead_as_Duck@reddit

Hella Gewürze?

[-]

Fire257@reddit

Obviously not by the color of it but he needs to buy that

[-]

Mundane-Security-454@reddit

You have an atrocious diet. Like that of a child. Ketchup overload? Time to grow up, dear.

[-]

sadbeehoppy@reddit

this is the kind of stuff my ADHD meds makes into gourmet courses. I feel u

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espr-the-vr-lib@reddit

They are called students in kindergarten?

[-]

espr-the-vr-lib@reddit

Too much ketchup, fries and nuggies

[-]

demoralising@reddit

'How much ketchup do you want?'

'YES!!!!!!!!!!!!'

[-]

LukeSkyWRx@reddit

Shit, you ask for ketchup in Germany some restaurants charge 1euro per packet.

This person found the ketchup cheat code.

[-]

LukeSkyWRx@reddit

Are these your only choices? The food in our company canteen in Germany is fantastic and many people love food over there so am a little suspicious.

Especially since there is no gravy……..in Germany………..

[-]

Spiritual-Cow4200@reddit

Put the ketchup DOWN!

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LukeSkyWRx@reddit

But then what’s left!

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Spiritual-Cow4200@reddit

Room for food.

[-]

marmk@reddit

Is the ketchup on lettuce, mayo on potatoes a fuck up or were you feeling adventurous that day?

[-]

mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

You almost made me laugh in class. Yes, i ran out of mayo for the lettuce. I know i shouldve bought salad dressing, but on a limited budget?

[-]

blowinmahnose@reddit

I have been poor my entire life and have never had a mayo-lettuce salad 😭 Your laziness is what’s preventing you from nutrition, not just your budget. Look into getting a crockpot, even used. Easy to cook and makes a shit ton of leftovers.

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AppUnwrapper1@reddit

I’m shocked at how much of the “dressings” you use if you’re trying to save money and can’t buy actual salad dressing.

[-]

mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

Im also very lazy, hahahaha

[-]

ecco311@reddit

A relatively fast and easy-ish salad dressing that will also stay good for a week or more in the fridge:

100g mayo (I use a low fat one that is "only" 300kcal/100g)

100g skimmed milk or regular milk

100g vinegar (in Germany you'd use Kräuteressig)

30g sugar

3g salt

1/2 of a small onion, finely diced

Good amount of black pepper

Any dried herbs that you have

1-2 teaspoons mustard

You could use heavy cream instead of the Mayo/milk mix, but I'd make it in smaller amounts then and only leave it in the fridge for like 5 days.

Also this is extremely cheap. It's cheaper than pure mayo and a lot better.

[-]

sweetrottenapple@reddit

I am Hungarian and mayo with fries is absolutely common here too. Also it's tasty 🥰

[-]

NES7995@reddit

Salad dressing is not expensive at all, especially if you make it yourself 😭 a vinaigrette is literally vinegar, oil, lemon juice and spices...

[-]

pieterpiraat@reddit

Mayo on French fries is the only reasonable thing to do. Ketchup is for the uneducated.

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usernameinmail@reddit

Fairly common across Europe [mayo on chips]

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ProfessionalBig1470@reddit

You ran out of your lettuce mayo?! I’m shocked

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Are you American? I feel like americans have the weirdest sense on what condiment is "supposed" to go on what

[-]

Trvr_MKA@reddit

Every time I hear stuff like this I just remember that clip where the British kids are bashing on Biscuits and Gravy then they try it

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Nah don't bring the saltless freaks into this. "Pepper is too spicy" my ass. Nah. We don't mention the fake foodies in this house. Even worse than americans when it comes to condiments and toppings 😂 There's actually a channel popping up on my youtube where britich kids get to try real food for the first time in their lives—a luxury most British people don't get! 🤣🤣

[-]

TantricEmu@reddit

Bro is becoming unhinged.

[-]

RandomPerson12191@reddit

My friend you eat bowls of onion. Don't throw bricks from the biggest glass house ever

[-]

DasFroDo@reddit

Ketchup on lettuce is genuinely unhinged.

[-]

mandpevents@reddit

You’ve never had a burger with lettuce and ketchup? Tastes pretty good. French dressing is just jazzed up ketchup.

[-]

PapaPatchesxd@reddit

Bruh go eat a bowl of lettuce and ketchup and tell me that it's a burger.

[-]

zerovampire311@reddit

Babe what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your crunchy ketchup

[-]

SteamySpectacles@reddit

Most of the burgers in my country that come with lettuce and other salad items have something mayo based as their main condiment

[-]

Rich-Pomegranate1679@reddit

It sounds like the people in your country make better decisions than OP.

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DasFroDo@reddit

I did. But it's on a fucking Burger, not just the lettuce rawdogging the ketchup.

[-]

whisky_biscuit@reddit

not just lettuce rawdogging the ketchup.

r/brandnewsentence

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Thousand island dressing contains ketchup and mayo

[-]

Nyeep@reddit

Salt contains sodium and chlorine, but I'm pretty sure you're not putting both individually into a soup lmao

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Your comparison is nonsensical seeing as one is toxic without the other. Or are you trying to tell me ketchup and/or mayo on uour salad is going to kill you? Again, thanks for proving my point that americans are weird about condiments

[-]

RandomPerson12191@reddit

They're saying that the sum of the two ingredients is different to just having the two ingredients on their own. I.e, eating a salad with ketchup on tastes very different to eating a salad with thousand island on. As an Englishwoman, I agree :)

[-]

Dinolil1@reddit

I think they're just saying that even if they use a sauce that is the combined components of two sauces, it doesn't mean they will use the other sauces that make up that sauce on their salad.

[-]

Nyeep@reddit

Yeah mate, obviously I think ketchup is deadly. Definitely what I was going for there.

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mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)

Thats actually pepper sauce. But i dont think it makes it any better.

[-]

DasFroDo@reddit

Absolutely not

[-]

marmk@reddit

According to literally the rest of these photos, OP has a thing for what's supposed to be on what. I was just asking as a joke.

If you want my actual American take, mayo doesn't belong on lettuce.

[-]

whisky_biscuit@reddit

It seems like Op is eating lettuce wraps almost with the lunch meat, then mayo, then meat on the side?

Maybe I'm just being hopeful lol.

[-]

shFt_shiFty@reddit

I feel like Americans have a pretty good idea what sauces go on certain foods. Have you seen us?

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

I'm talking about the weird nonsense of "no, that sauce doesn't go on that, it's for xyz thing only" as if it isn't an ingredient that you can use wherever whenever you want however you want to use it.

[-]

shFt_shiFty@reddit

This seems to be ruining your day, I'm sorry.

[-]

Individual_Writer_73@reddit

You're spot on. I wasn't aware of this myself until I moved to the UK and ranch dressing became a super rare commodity that no restaurants have and you can only find in a select few supermarkets.

[-]

QuietSpirited9927@reddit

mayo instead of butter on sandwich, I mean wtf

[-]

GreyGanado@reddit

I guess you've never seen Pulp Fiction

[-]

Kamilianusz95@reddit

To be frank a lot of this goes hard

[-]

saltyisthesauce@reddit

If out of time missionary sex was food

[-]

Veneboy@reddit

My two sons wanted to eat like you when. They were 6 years old.

[-]

eg3488@reddit

Your diet seems consist of only toppings. 😂

[-]

Diligent-Garden-8846@reddit

Love those mayo and lettuce salds, what is your recipe?

[-]

HabitNegative3137@reddit

Are you from an Asian country or Asian descent? I’m definitely getting those vibes.

[-]

twogunsalute@reddit

Yeah this feels like an international student, who maybe dislikes German/European food so sticks to basic meals covered in condiments. The plain rice gives it away.

[-]

crumzmaholey@reddit

The spirit of the DDR lives on….

[-]

ItsJustOhk@reddit

I trust zero people who use half as much ketchup as this. Reminder god is always watching.

[-]

valkycam12@reddit

I mean for the sake of your health, eat some veggies, other than lettuce.

[-]

Fire257@reddit

Or at least get a to z vitamins it aint perfekt but on a budget its better then to life from fat and carbs alone. There are some for like 5 euro that have enough for 2 months. Of course getting proper nutrition is key still its the least

[-]

Fire257@reddit

No cig and no coffe this aint europe

[-]

saturday_sun4@reddit

Plain rice 🍚 😭😭😭

[-]

Thefeno@reddit

I know it's difficult, but you beed to learn some basic sauces and stop that ketchup addiction 🤣

[-]

Ive-no-idea@reddit

You need help with some simple yet nourishing meals??

[-]

Targetshopper1@reddit

Each picture contains atleast one item that I am unsure of

[-]

sachetpink@reddit

If you’re a student, doesn’t your university have a cafeteria? Please go eat a real meal there💔

[-]

hobowithadegree@reddit

Sauce on everything, but dry rice???

[-]

_Aethea_@reddit

please learn to cook

[-]

Type-R@reddit

Mayo oder ketchup

[-]

PlantRoomForHire@reddit

My cat eats a more varied diet

[-]

Cornfugga@reddit

Embarrassing, really.

[-]

godverdejezushey@reddit

Are you a small animal of some sorts by any chance?

[-]

notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit

I guess America isn't the only place where ketchup counts as a vegetable.

[-]

PapaPatchesxd@reddit

Would you like some food with your ketchup?

[-]

gagi11030@reddit

Student in Germany

gif

[-]

LatterParty182@reddit

I will note this

[-]

ResponseLife6305@reddit

Well the lettuce looks ok🤣

[-]

bananalingerie@reddit

You can subtract the country and occupation from the title cuz this is a you-problem my man

[-]

NotRelatedBitch@reddit

Some of these would be fine if we removed all of the sauces

[-]

Yoshli@reddit

Do you live around NRW? do you need nourishment? A decent meal? A home cooking class? Recipe books?!? I'll give it to you for free.

[-]

tjekdissebrugernavne@reddit

May I suggest that you but a large bag of fresh potatoes, find a local farmer where you Can buy eggs cheap, and start eating more nutriant veggies? This food Will make you malnourished in Only a few weeks. Rice is also good and cheap, but rather skip all that mayo and ketchup and spend that money on veggies and eggs🥰 Veggies could be carrots, onions, cale, spinach, leek, green beans, cauliflower, broccoli etc.

Iceberg, cucumber, tomatoes and peppers are add ons - focus on getting the others before that.

[-]

floralbutttrumpet@reddit

Just a suggestion, but Aldi has a lot of different sauces for comparatively cheap. Aldi Süd has Grillwoche this weak, so you may be able to collect BBQ sauce and similar stuff for a buck or so, if you're in an Aldi Süd region. Both Aldis also have "basic" German vegetables (like cucumber, carrots etc) for cheap. A variety of different types of salad are currently in season, as are red beets and asparagus. Rhubarb season also started, so if you're fine with tart foods, boil some stalks (with or without sugar) and eat them with something dairy.

I'm NOT making fun of you because I know what it's like to have basically no cash, but taste aside, you really need to look at your vitamin intake with this - if this is polished rice, I'm concerned about your intake of B1 in particular. Cheap sources are (tinned) peas, nuts and whole grain bread - again, Aldi (and their competitors like Lidl and Netto) have all of these for fairly cheap. Tinned peas can be made to taste really good with just a bit of butter, a source of umami (like Maggi, soy sauce or worcestershire sauce), some salt and pepper and a spritz of lemon juice - I ate that a lot when I was poor as shit, because the peas at Aldi were like 39 cents back in the day (I'm old AF, they're definitely more expensive now) and really filling.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

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