Enjoy a mini diary of the foods ive made for my first month as a student in Germany.
Posted by mega_lova_nia@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 214 comments
Fibercake@reddit
You sure do like ketchup
ACcbe1986@reddit
Based on stereotypes I've encountered in the past, it seems like a criminal amount of ketchup to use in Europe.
Erpes2@reddit
The 11th pic hurt me
TrainingFilm4296@reddit
Was that the one witg ketchup as a salad dressing?
Erpes2@reddit
Sadly its not the only one with ketchup on the salad
exodyne@reddit
Looks more like a salsa of some sort to me on the lettuce and meat above. You can see small chunks in it, whereas it's pretty clearly ketchup seen on the potatoes to the right.
MaeBelleLien@reddit
It might be slightly different but it still seems pretty ketchup-like. Maybe in Germany they have smooth and chunky versions, like the US has with peanut butter.
Erpes2@reddit
Nice catch but putting salsa on a salad still classify as a culinary crime in my book
Heemsama@reddit
Ketchup, mayo, and lettuce seem to play a huge role in OPs day to day
Subsequently_Unfunny@reddit
Tbf, looks specifically like kewpie mayo and that shit slaps
benji_90@reddit
Everytime I buy mayo, it expires before I get halfway through it. I really like mayo but only on specific things. It's a bummer.
Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit
Where are you storing your mayonnaise and what kind are you buying lol
benji_90@reddit
In the refrigerator. I have tried several beans but they only last 2-3 months in the fridge one opened. And I'm not eating mayo fast enough to finish a bottle in 2-3 months.
Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit
What are you basing its longevity on?
I have no idea when I bought my big tub of mayo at Costco. It’s still fine lol
benji_90@reddit
I toss it once it's past its expiration date. I don't mess around with explosion dates on something known for transmitting salmonella.
Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit
Unless you’re leaving it on the counter for a while or dipping a dirty utensil in there, you shouldn’t have to waste an entire jar of mayo just because it passed some arbitrary date
benji_90@reddit
I would engage with you further on this but I don't think we're going to agree on this one. It's just not worth the risk to me.
DeerlyOnline@reddit
Moneybags over here
benji_90@reddit
The Reddit expiration date experts are out in numbers this morning.
Rockandmetal99@reddit
well when someone makes a completly incorrect statement, i cant help but correct them because i think learning is fun and important. makes me kinda a Poindexter but oh well
benji_90@reddit
Learning is fun. I'm learning not too bring up best buy and expiration dates on r/shittyfoodporn.
Rockandmetal99@reddit
definitely something that doesn't matter, like if you don't want to eat food past whatever date is on the container then that's totally your call, it's kind of funny to me which comments randomly get latched on to and "🤓☝️ uhm actually" (and im guilty too lol)
Rockandmetal99@reddit
expired and "sell by/best by" date are completely different
Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit
Fair enough. It isn’t expired though and you’ve wasted a lot of mayo (and presumably other foods)
Einstein_Disguise@reddit
https://www.fsis.usda.gov/food-safety/safe-food-handling-and-preparation/food-safety-basics/food-product-dating
Food labels are typically to indicate the best window of quality for the product, not necessarily if it's safe to eat still.
ghorbanifar@reddit
That’s not how expiration dates work. They are assigned to be much, much earlier than the food would go bad. Trust your nose.
MagCatRed@reddit
The 4 year old jar mayo look in disgust at your pathetic weak mayo.
benji_90@reddit
Your mayo will graduate from high school the same year as my nephew.
rts93@reddit
Vegetables, dairy, fats. A well balanced diet eh.
AppUnwrapper1@reddit
I lost it when I got to the ketchup on lettuce.
Neil_sm@reddit
That's how they sprinkle in some variety for excitement. Today we're putting the ketchup on the lettuce and the mayo on the fries!
PantsGhost97@reddit
It actually looks more like a salsa
Sharp-Potential5955@reddit
This is where I balled my fist up. Probably the most evil thing to happen in Germany
Neil_sm@reddit
But they don't seem to like their bread toasted
onamonapizza@reddit
The ketchup on the salad really threw me
MrD3a7h@reddit
It is very impressive that OP is attending university at the age of six.
Fuzzy_Redwood@reddit
Cheap seasoning. I was really broke at university
Ikillwhatieat@reddit
I was about to say the same thing about iceberg lettuce and mayo
mandpevents@reddit
This is the most poorly veiled advertisement I’ve ever seen. Really, Heinz? Trying to make ketchup seem chic by attaching it to a “European?”
halffullofthoughts@reddit
Eating like a toddler
Bottombottoms@reddit
I'm piggybacking off your comment...
These are Wes Anderson title cards.
stevedusome@reddit
A Wes Anderson movie about a hospital cafeteria
funkinfrogger@reddit
Hahahahahah yes
midge_rat@reddit
Napoleon Dynamite
bionicjoey@reddit
Napoleon, gimme some of your tater tots
Bottombottoms@reddit
Yes! Thank you!
Pudix20@reddit
I did think this was r/foodbutforbabies for a second lol but I think as long as OP is eating that’s more than some people can manage and I’m happy for them.
whisky_biscuit@reddit
Yeah this is a struggle bus meal. You can rearrange that stuff and turn it into something actually good lol
Southpawn@reddit
Lil bro fucking LOVES his lettuce and fries.
ChewyMurray@reddit
Which beers are you pairing with this ?
xxlpmetalxx@reddit
bro a big bag of rice in your local asian market is like 35€ and it feeds you for like 6 months, also noodles exist man
the-smashed-banjo@reddit
Holy shit eat a vegetable
Turbulent-Matter501@reddit
what do you think lettuce is?
the-smashed-banjo@reddit
Barely more than crispy water
ratmfreak@reddit
Uh no. It’s got lots of nutrients. It’s just not calorically dense.
puff_of_fluff@reddit
D:
februarytide-@reddit
Everyone’s been roasting you OP, so I’m just here to commiserate. After college I (American) lived in Germany in for a year on a research fellowship before grad school. I was young and alone and homesick so even though honestly it wasn’t all that different I found it tough to adapt and I ate a lot of weird, sad shit even though I’m an adventurous eater and had solid basic cooking skills. Like I’m talking cold canned chickpeas with cold plain tofu. I had limited funds, limited fridge space (super different from the US lol), and limited cooking utensils and no oven, and lived with a roommate who really begrudged living with a foreign introvert and would not allow me to use any of her kitchen stuff because she thought the food I made was gross and she was a petulant child who didn’t like me (Janine, you suck. But go ahead and keep drinking and smoking alone in the kitchen)
It was only once I made a friend - only a few months before returning home - that I started getting better ideas on German recipes and such and was able to make better use of my nearby Rewe. Bratnudeln was one of my faves, and tomato salad with feta cheese or a good old belegtes brot.
dts843@reddit
B+ for portion control.
godverdejezushey@reddit
The average calorie intake for a small pet it seems, I suspect OP might be a cat or perhaps a large rodent
MagCatRed@reddit
A ROUS you say?
Cryz-SFla@reddit
I look forward to the release of your coffee table book.
meratherbebikin@reddit
That is a lot of mayo, ketchup, iceberg
UpstairsPractical870@reddit
WW2 is over right?
Lakewater22@reddit
Proud to be an American today, boys
timomies@reddit
:(
stopchooingsoloud@reddit
Kewpie mayo and maybe ketchup as your main condiments?
stopchooingsoloud@reddit
Why would you downvote this? I didn't mean anything bad from this. I was relating to the poster.
theangryjanitorOG@reddit
All of those meals are considered sides anywhere in America
djbow@reddit
North America? South America? Central America? This is the internet bro...
theangryjanitorOG@reddit
..... all of them. They're all fat.
OriginalGPam@reddit
His portion size are actually really good, especially if he snacks throughout the day. Treating them as side is why we have an obesity epidemic.
Quantum_Corpse@reddit
Not even in America, those are genuinely tiny portions imo. Unless you eat a lot of them a day, which I doubt a student can.
notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit
Not really, the portion sizes are mostly decent, it's the content of those portions that's heinous. If you had the same volume of a balanced meal it would be a good plate.
Eis_ber@reddit
I know this might sound mean, but they sell salad dressing in Germany. You don't have to keep Dumpling mayo on your lettuce. Save that for the fries.
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
On a student's budget, with a sperrkonto, without a job? Gotta pinch pennies in some way.
Yoshli@reddit
Flasche Essig und Öl? Salz Pfeffer? Ne Orange? 😭
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
Ich bin sehr faul, hahaha
delinaX@reddit
So this is a choice then not anything related to money. You can make incredibly good food that doesn't take 3 hours to make. You gotta learn how to cook lazy meals that don't include dumping half a bottle of ketchup and mayo on every meal.
AppUnwrapper1@reddit
Is mayo dirt cheap by you because it’s not here.
zerovampire311@reddit
Brand names may be, but I’ve never traveled anywhere that didn’t have some cheap options. It’s not that hard to make yourself even.
Eis_ber@reddit
Those dressing sachets are cheaper than mayo and you oftentimes only need about a teaspoon of the dry ingredients. Mix with some oil, water and pinch of salt and you have a dressing. Whenever I make mine is enough for two servings.
userdeath@reddit
It's cheaper than mayo..
JediKrys@reddit
You have a real hate for eggs don’t you….those poor delicate little pocket snacks.
jsamuraij@reddit
So your body is like 30% mayo and 55% ketchup at this point, huh?
yourdadsnewwife420@reddit
Penance food
alexisgreat420@reddit
Congratulations that all looks horrible
atworkthough@reddit
:( you want to talk about something?
NegotiationCute5341@reddit
NegotiationCute5341@reddit
freakmeout123@reddit
a balance diet
Suspicious-Bid-53@reddit
This made my fuckin day
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
To add a bit more context, not all of it is ketchup. But yes, it is sauce, mostly pepper sauce.
Ranger-Einarr@reddit
remember that frozen veggis are as good or even better than fresh ones while not costing much, go for the "ja!" ones.
Pudix20@reddit
You’re doing your best. You’re gonna be okay. You got this. Proud of you for getting an education and still managing to feed yourself.
mandpevents@reddit
Please treat yourself to, at the very least, several bags of frozen vegetables. You need to eat vegetables every day, and iceberg lettuce doesn’t count, it has close to no nutritional value. Dark green leafy vegetables, broccoli, green beans. Branch out.
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
Ill try and gett better veggies, one that actually fit my fridge shelf. i guess cucumbers and paprikas wouldnt hurt to add to the mix
BoarHide@reddit
Cucumbers don’t do much of anything for you anything either. They’re a glass of water made solid with a bit of fibre. Please eat real veggies like the person above you recommended
BYBtek@reddit
Kakoombah have vitamin, mineral—very high numbah!
Acceptable_Field_567@reddit
Fuck, I just got that out my head and here YOU go. 🥀
Wide_Comment3081@reddit
It has vitamin k, vitamin c and potassium
notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit
You don't need to keep peppers in the fridge, so that'll buy you some space.
Wide_Comment3081@reddit
Potatoes, carrots, paprika, avocado, tomatoes, try to get variety. Eggs if you can afford it.
Dead_as_Duck@reddit
Hella Gewürze?
Fire257@reddit
Obviously not by the color of it but he needs to buy that
Mundane-Security-454@reddit
You have an atrocious diet. Like that of a child. Ketchup overload? Time to grow up, dear.
sadbeehoppy@reddit
this is the kind of stuff my ADHD meds makes into gourmet courses. I feel u
espr-the-vr-lib@reddit
They are called students in kindergarten?
espr-the-vr-lib@reddit
Too much ketchup, fries and nuggies
demoralising@reddit
'How much ketchup do you want?'
'YES!!!!!!!!!!!!'
LukeSkyWRx@reddit
Shit, you ask for ketchup in Germany some restaurants charge 1euro per packet.
This person found the ketchup cheat code.
LukeSkyWRx@reddit
Are these your only choices? The food in our company canteen in Germany is fantastic and many people love food over there so am a little suspicious.
Especially since there is no gravy……..in Germany………..
Spiritual-Cow4200@reddit
Put the ketchup DOWN!
LukeSkyWRx@reddit
But then what’s left!
Spiritual-Cow4200@reddit
Room for food.
marmk@reddit
Is the ketchup on lettuce, mayo on potatoes a fuck up or were you feeling adventurous that day?
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
You almost made me laugh in class. Yes, i ran out of mayo for the lettuce. I know i shouldve bought salad dressing, but on a limited budget?
blowinmahnose@reddit
I have been poor my entire life and have never had a mayo-lettuce salad 😭 Your laziness is what’s preventing you from nutrition, not just your budget. Look into getting a crockpot, even used. Easy to cook and makes a shit ton of leftovers.
AppUnwrapper1@reddit
I’m shocked at how much of the “dressings” you use if you’re trying to save money and can’t buy actual salad dressing.
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
Im also very lazy, hahahaha
ecco311@reddit
A relatively fast and easy-ish salad dressing that will also stay good for a week or more in the fridge:
100g mayo (I use a low fat one that is "only" 300kcal/100g)
100g skimmed milk or regular milk
100g vinegar (in Germany you'd use Kräuteressig)
30g sugar
3g salt
1/2 of a small onion, finely diced
Good amount of black pepper
Any dried herbs that you have
1-2 teaspoons mustard
You could use heavy cream instead of the Mayo/milk mix, but I'd make it in smaller amounts then and only leave it in the fridge for like 5 days.
Also this is extremely cheap. It's cheaper than pure mayo and a lot better.
sweetrottenapple@reddit
I am Hungarian and mayo with fries is absolutely common here too. Also it's tasty 🥰
NES7995@reddit
Salad dressing is not expensive at all, especially if you make it yourself 😭 a vinaigrette is literally vinegar, oil, lemon juice and spices...
pieterpiraat@reddit
Mayo on French fries is the only reasonable thing to do. Ketchup is for the uneducated.
usernameinmail@reddit
Fairly common across Europe [mayo on chips]
ProfessionalBig1470@reddit
You ran out of your lettuce mayo?! I’m shocked
creatyvechaos@reddit
Are you American? I feel like americans have the weirdest sense on what condiment is "supposed" to go on what
Trvr_MKA@reddit
Every time I hear stuff like this I just remember that clip where the British kids are bashing on Biscuits and Gravy then they try it
creatyvechaos@reddit
Nah don't bring the saltless freaks into this. "Pepper is too spicy" my ass. Nah. We don't mention the fake foodies in this house. Even worse than americans when it comes to condiments and toppings 😂 There's actually a channel popping up on my youtube where britich kids get to try real food for the first time in their lives—a luxury most British people don't get! 🤣🤣
TantricEmu@reddit
Bro is becoming unhinged.
RandomPerson12191@reddit
My friend you eat bowls of onion. Don't throw bricks from the biggest glass house ever
DasFroDo@reddit
Ketchup on lettuce is genuinely unhinged.
mandpevents@reddit
You’ve never had a burger with lettuce and ketchup? Tastes pretty good. French dressing is just jazzed up ketchup.
PapaPatchesxd@reddit
Bruh go eat a bowl of lettuce and ketchup and tell me that it's a burger.
zerovampire311@reddit
Babe what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your crunchy ketchup
SteamySpectacles@reddit
Most of the burgers in my country that come with lettuce and other salad items have something mayo based as their main condiment
Rich-Pomegranate1679@reddit
It sounds like the people in your country make better decisions than OP.
DasFroDo@reddit
I did. But it's on a fucking Burger, not just the lettuce rawdogging the ketchup.
whisky_biscuit@reddit
r/brandnewsentence
creatyvechaos@reddit
Thousand island dressing contains ketchup and mayo
Nyeep@reddit
Salt contains sodium and chlorine, but I'm pretty sure you're not putting both individually into a soup lmao
creatyvechaos@reddit
Your comparison is nonsensical seeing as one is toxic without the other. Or are you trying to tell me ketchup and/or mayo on uour salad is going to kill you? Again, thanks for proving my point that americans are weird about condiments
RandomPerson12191@reddit
They're saying that the sum of the two ingredients is different to just having the two ingredients on their own. I.e, eating a salad with ketchup on tastes very different to eating a salad with thousand island on. As an Englishwoman, I agree :)
Dinolil1@reddit
I think they're just saying that even if they use a sauce that is the combined components of two sauces, it doesn't mean they will use the other sauces that make up that sauce on their salad.
Nyeep@reddit
Yeah mate, obviously I think ketchup is deadly. Definitely what I was going for there.
mega_lova_nia@reddit (OP)
Thats actually pepper sauce. But i dont think it makes it any better.
DasFroDo@reddit
Absolutely not
marmk@reddit
According to literally the rest of these photos, OP has a thing for what's supposed to be on what. I was just asking as a joke.
If you want my actual American take, mayo doesn't belong on lettuce.
whisky_biscuit@reddit
It seems like Op is eating lettuce wraps almost with the lunch meat, then mayo, then meat on the side?
Maybe I'm just being hopeful lol.
shFt_shiFty@reddit
I feel like Americans have a pretty good idea what sauces go on certain foods. Have you seen us?
creatyvechaos@reddit
I'm talking about the weird nonsense of "no, that sauce doesn't go on that, it's for xyz thing only" as if it isn't an ingredient that you can use wherever whenever you want however you want to use it.
shFt_shiFty@reddit
This seems to be ruining your day, I'm sorry.
Individual_Writer_73@reddit
You're spot on. I wasn't aware of this myself until I moved to the UK and ranch dressing became a super rare commodity that no restaurants have and you can only find in a select few supermarkets.
QuietSpirited9927@reddit
mayo instead of butter on sandwich, I mean wtf
GreyGanado@reddit
I guess you've never seen Pulp Fiction
Kamilianusz95@reddit
To be frank a lot of this goes hard
saltyisthesauce@reddit
If out of time missionary sex was food
Veneboy@reddit
My two sons wanted to eat like you when. They were 6 years old.
eg3488@reddit
Your diet seems consist of only toppings. 😂
Diligent-Garden-8846@reddit
Love those mayo and lettuce salds, what is your recipe?
HabitNegative3137@reddit
Are you from an Asian country or Asian descent? I’m definitely getting those vibes.
twogunsalute@reddit
Yeah this feels like an international student, who maybe dislikes German/European food so sticks to basic meals covered in condiments. The plain rice gives it away.
crumzmaholey@reddit
The spirit of the DDR lives on….
ItsJustOhk@reddit
I trust zero people who use half as much ketchup as this. Reminder god is always watching.
valkycam12@reddit
I mean for the sake of your health, eat some veggies, other than lettuce.
Fire257@reddit
Or at least get a to z vitamins it aint perfekt but on a budget its better then to life from fat and carbs alone. There are some for like 5 euro that have enough for 2 months. Of course getting proper nutrition is key still its the least
Fire257@reddit
No cig and no coffe this aint europe
saturday_sun4@reddit
Plain rice 🍚 😭😭😭
Thefeno@reddit
I know it's difficult, but you beed to learn some basic sauces and stop that ketchup addiction 🤣
Ive-no-idea@reddit
You need help with some simple yet nourishing meals??
Targetshopper1@reddit
Each picture contains atleast one item that I am unsure of
sachetpink@reddit
If you’re a student, doesn’t your university have a cafeteria? Please go eat a real meal there💔
hobowithadegree@reddit
Sauce on everything, but dry rice???
_Aethea_@reddit
please learn to cook
Type-R@reddit
Mayo oder ketchup
PlantRoomForHire@reddit
My cat eats a more varied diet
Cornfugga@reddit
Embarrassing, really.
godverdejezushey@reddit
Are you a small animal of some sorts by any chance?
notabigmelvillecrowd@reddit
I guess America isn't the only place where ketchup counts as a vegetable.
PapaPatchesxd@reddit
Would you like some food with your ketchup?
gagi11030@reddit
Student in Germany
LatterParty182@reddit
I will note this
ResponseLife6305@reddit
Well the lettuce looks ok🤣
bananalingerie@reddit
You can subtract the country and occupation from the title cuz this is a you-problem my man
NotRelatedBitch@reddit
Some of these would be fine if we removed all of the sauces
Yoshli@reddit
Do you live around NRW? do you need nourishment? A decent meal? A home cooking class? Recipe books?!? I'll give it to you for free.
tjekdissebrugernavne@reddit
May I suggest that you but a large bag of fresh potatoes, find a local farmer where you Can buy eggs cheap, and start eating more nutriant veggies? This food Will make you malnourished in Only a few weeks. Rice is also good and cheap, but rather skip all that mayo and ketchup and spend that money on veggies and eggs🥰 Veggies could be carrots, onions, cale, spinach, leek, green beans, cauliflower, broccoli etc.
Iceberg, cucumber, tomatoes and peppers are add ons - focus on getting the others before that.
floralbutttrumpet@reddit
Just a suggestion, but Aldi has a lot of different sauces for comparatively cheap. Aldi Süd has Grillwoche this weak, so you may be able to collect BBQ sauce and similar stuff for a buck or so, if you're in an Aldi Süd region. Both Aldis also have "basic" German vegetables (like cucumber, carrots etc) for cheap. A variety of different types of salad are currently in season, as are red beets and asparagus. Rhubarb season also started, so if you're fine with tart foods, boil some stalks (with or without sugar) and eat them with something dairy.
I'm NOT making fun of you because I know what it's like to have basically no cash, but taste aside, you really need to look at your vitamin intake with this - if this is polished rice, I'm concerned about your intake of B1 in particular. Cheap sources are (tinned) peas, nuts and whole grain bread - again, Aldi (and their competitors like Lidl and Netto) have all of these for fairly cheap. Tinned peas can be made to taste really good with just a bit of butter, a source of umami (like Maggi, soy sauce or worcestershire sauce), some salt and pepper and a spritz of lemon juice - I ate that a lot when I was poor as shit, because the peas at Aldi were like 39 cents back in the day (I'm old AF, they're definitely more expensive now) and really filling.
Either way, I wish you the best of luck.
RandomPerson12191@reddit
Just wanted to thank you for giving some genuinely valuable advice. I'm personally a beans gal over peas lol, beans are also incredibly cheap and bulk up near anything you make.
Euphoric-Piglet-8140@reddit
Would you like some food with your condiments?
Puzzled_Pop_6845@reddit
Are those snacks or full meals? How do You even get Enough energy to study?
ihatetheplaceilive@reddit
Why is everything sad?
Helpful_F@reddit
A lot of meals were ruined in the makings of this post
TRUMBAUAUA@reddit
„Enjoy“ is a big word OP
Yaya_Tovar@reddit
Depressive
SputnikSenpai@reddit
Day 15
ItsAMeaple@reddit
Please eat some other vegetables than iceberg lettuce, even other lettuce types have more nutritional value per euro than iceberg. It's basically just water with a bit of vitamin c
Ontarom@reddit
Don't you miss soups?
pirapataue@reddit
Not too bad honestly
carlosbatata@reddit
I'm depressed from looking at your meals. Vary it a bit and have some vegetables.
Sad-Abies-7398@reddit
Have you checked your cholesterol level?
mouseynaides@reddit
Eat some veggies
mossimossimossi@reddit
You win for today! Also blink twice if you're not held in prison for some reason.
sweatyinhell@reddit
Up vote for shittyfoodporn
freakmeout123@reddit
that’s your what?
Seygem@reddit
Eating like this is a choice. There is no excuse for it. Literal millions of cheap and quick recipies online for free.
OrangeClyde@reddit
You sure love katsup
Banana-Apples@reddit
This is how I started too, didn’t even buy a lettuce always. You’re making an effort, you will get there!
sambal_ubi@reddit
Give this guy a bottle of Maggi
Time-Worker9846@reddit
Rice without any sauce seems a bit too dry for me
NotRelatedBitch@reddit
Why is there so much condiment?
Inevitable-Salary-23@reddit
I can pinpoint the moment you've an out of ketchup, substituted mayo, until getting a fresh bottle of ketchup!
MadamVoid@reddit
Those curly fries looked great
Heemsama@reddit
4 and 5 are so painfully plain 😔
mister_klik@reddit
Not enough ketchup