ULPT Request: How do I do the least work possible to manage kindergartners
Posted by booksnotbullets@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 36 comments
I'm a specialist at an elementary school and our district recently added all day kindergarten but didnt have a way to actually fund it so they're just making the elementary schools take it on when we do not have the space or staff to do so.
my planning time was already not enough but now i'll barely have time to eat lunch in between classes with no time to prep or actually do the ordering and paperwork that my job requires.
every student deserves a fun, safe experience at school but i am so done being a glorified babysitter. do i put on a movie for these little guys every week until admin finds out? i feel like y'all could get more creative than that.
Bratchan@reddit
Class vote what are their favorite shows and characters. Check (make sure they aren't too spooky)
2nd take a night on the internet and look up free coloring pages for the characters. save ALL them and bring them on a flash drive. Print one for every student using the school printers. Run that bad boy out of ink and when they ask. Well i have to do extra planning for this class. So this was all i could do since this isn't my specality.
Now also print up blank roblox characters for them to draw.
When there is the next school board meeting make sure you print and send everything parent home with one explaining that their student doesn't have a full time teacher at the school and it needs to be addressed the more support the better.
Eggsallant@reddit
Not unethical, but bring back play centers in kinder. An imaginative play centre like house, dress up, water table, sand table, building...
Lots of outside time with playground games. Jump rope.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Finger paints till the parents complain.
SocYS4@reddit
Purlz1st@reddit
Permanent marker face painting day.
SoyboyCowboy@reddit
Nail polish and glitter
Purlz1st@reddit
“How many mud pies can you eat?"
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Let's all pretend we are at a barbershop .
ColdSmashedPotatoes4@reddit
As close to picture day as possible
No-Lifeguard9194@reddit
One thing we did with our kids when they were small, and just full of energy was have them do jumping jacks before we went into any place that they needed to sit quietly. We had two so it was a competition between them to see who could do the most jumping jacks.So before church or going to a restaurant or to somebody’s home or we didn’t want them to be racing around. Good exercise, wears off energy, can be fun. Daily exercise would be great for small children. Our kids were always quite well behaved because they were a little bit worn out.
APuckerLipsNow@reddit
Put magnets in their pockets and stick them on the refrigerator.
scienceislice@reddit
Quit before you use an unethical life pro tip on little children, tbh if enough people quit over piss poor admin planning then someone will do something about it maybe, but at least it won't be your problem
Radiant-Security-347@reddit
this x a million. do your job or quit. Those kids need someone who isn't looking for a way to ignore them. they deserve better.
Optimal_Shirt6637@reddit
I second this. My friend quit teaching for an entry level sales job making $30k more and got to work regular hours from home.
sanityjanity@reddit
Make the parents mad about this.i guarantee some of them would love to fight the school.
You can do it with Facebook posts and anonymous emails
Gogglesed@reddit
You could read to them. Encourage them to ask what words mean. Accelerate their learning ability. Pick something designed to challenge them a little.
ULPT? Seems like a perfect opportunity to indoctrinate young minds, depending on what you read to them. I'd try to push secular humanism and critical thinking skills, which many people seem to find offensive.
celeryboymilk@reddit
yes, a good idea in general, but no this isn't a hands free alternative to gaining a few minutes back to complete her orders.
Gogglesed@reddit
Intersperse the reading with quiet drawing time to have the kids illustrate the story.
Playful-Influence894@reddit
Wear them out so they sleep (exercises) — plenty has been suggested
Have a model for a day. It can be you or any of them. Give all of yhem a large sheet of paper and tell them to draw the model as best as they can. The one with the best drawing will be the model for the next art session
Poetry recitals? If they can read, make them read out loud one after the other.
The best option would be to let this initiative fail. The system carries on like this because even when we can’t we keep absorbing it. I know your heart is in the right place so this is isn’t directed at you per se but broadly at how we “make” things work by sacrificing ourselves: How will they know this isn’t sustainable when you and your team eventually make it work? This will not be the end.
booksnotbullets@reddit (OP)
bruh my 5th graders cant read let alone kinders.
i am with you though, i know that the system wont change as long as teachers are willing to bend over backwards to make it work. i guess that's why im here in the unethical subreddit but as others have said, this wasnt really the right place. the kindergartners deserve better
Luck_of_the_draw__@reddit
Lots of art—doesn’t have to be complicated and give them a prompt to keep them engaged longer. I.e. decorate Sally’s car and have a car outline for them to color/glue items on. Kids love texture so Pom-poms, pipe cleaners, cotton balls are great. Fuse beads (iron beads) are fun if you’re okay with a mess on the floor or Fuse Bead Friday was always a hit.
Organize small boxes for independent time and let them pick an activity—can be moving items like buttons from one container to another to practice fine motor movements, mini math games (Zeno math a lot of times has free give aways), cars plus a track, etc. Let them work on the activities for 20-30 min a day to let them stay novel.
If you can afford, a sensory box is always a good idea where you can switch out beans/rice/sand every few weeks and place different toys to play with. Can also do holiday/season themed to liven things up.
Games! Heads up seven up, silent ball, guessing games, hang man (with simple letters/words).
Kinders really enjoy group activities and feeling “seen” so breaking into smaller groups if possible and giving more 1:1 (or 1:5) time will help them connect to your staff and listen more intently.
Daily quiet/story time to help on focus and reading. Give them whiteboards while you read to keep them into it longer or have them draw scenes from the book.
My advice is to not have a super strict schedule but more of a daily “flow” and let them MOVE as much as possible.
Good luck!!! Such a crazy fun age group!
booksnotbullets@reddit (OP)
these are good thank you!!
partylikeitis1799@reddit
Nothing involving five year olds and glue is able to be set up and left to run largely unsupervised while the teacher gets other things done.
smedleyyee@reddit
Don’t treat children unethically even on ULPT. Quit. Get counseling. Report it to the school board. Do whatever you have to do.
Do NOT take it out on kindergartners.
booksnotbullets@reddit (OP)
i hear you, this wasn't totally the right subreddit but the ideas on here are always clutch lol ty anyways, youve got a good point
partylikeitis1799@reddit
Came to say the same thing. Also, some parents may not care and be in it for the babysitting aspect but I’m a parent and I would want to know the situation so I could find an alternative for my child.
Please don’t use any sort of ‘hack’ to care for young children, they don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You are the adult here and you need to make a big deal about this or walk away from the whole thing.
kirdiegirl@reddit
STEM bins!!
_Raymond_Reddington_@reddit
Glitter day...
Unethically acquire a large amount of glitter...
Get the kids some safety glasses, and have glitter fights.
Key-Candle8141@reddit
Nope
Not helping with unethical treatment for kids go to r/AskTeachers not only will they have sympathy for your situation they might actually have good solutions
Possible_Juice_3170@reddit
Hate to break it to you, but kids don’t sit and watch movies anymore. You can MAYBE get kids to watch something 10-15 minutes.
Do provide from free play time with basic materials, play-doh, coloring, puzzles etc.
Use the time you do have wisely but if you don’t want to take things home, no one can make you (though you might get poor evaluations).
Haggis_HotPocket@reddit
Cut some ‘ludes into quarters. Start class with a special beverage of some sort.
ACynicalOptomist@reddit
I miss ludes. "Hey, you wanna bong a lude?" "Hell yeah!"
3X_Cat@reddit
Puppies, lots of puppies
ambushwacker007@reddit
Playground games, like T ball, hopscotch, dealing dope, hustling, and urban sign language. Add finger/spray paints.
WatchingTellyNow@reddit
Even if you put on a movie, kindergartners aren't going to sit down and watch it! If you want an ULPT, tie them to their chairs before you press Play. Bonus, they'll also provide copious amounts of piss disk ingredient...
No-Falcon631@reddit
Get a newsprint paper roll/spool. It’s like 1400feet of blank paper that kids can draw/crayon on.
Art might be a better option than staring at a tv screen. Or at least help limit screen time.
Oh yeah, steal the paper spools.