What do you watch in the first few days of bereavement?
Posted by Mindless_Tangerine32@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 72 comments
relative passed away suddenly and unexpectantly.
Need something that is light hearted without being a full comedy. Not ready for any sad emotions yet or want to laugh deliberately if that makes sense. It’s more something to put on that we can pretend to watch and dip in and out of. Im thinking top gear special maybe.
Also cannot contain anything related to dementia either as we are currently dealing with that too.
peristeronic_as_shit@reddit
I’m sorry, I went through this last year and it’s so tough. I recommend wild london (David Attenborough documentary, but doesn’t touch on anything too deep). I also would say download Tetris or a game like Balatro, that you can play mindlessly. It really helps xx
Own-Jeweler3169@reddit
The Big Lez Show on youtube
InnocentaMN@reddit
Might be too light hearted and dumb, but we watched a lot of Below Deck - everyone was young and healthy as a baseline, doing foolish drunk things.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
bekahfromearth@reddit
After the phone call from my mum saying my aunt had passed, my sister and I watched Family Guy. Comedy helps.
Just_A_some1@reddit
I’d suggest “disposable media”, things you enjoy but aren’t necessarily going to reach for again, to avoid bringing up previous sad emotions.
Just generic shows you’ve perhaps put off watching due to over popularity or just not having the time. Don’t watch too many comfort things, unless you’re okay with those memories being associated with it.
Specific recommendations? Disenchantment, but SPOILERS, after series 3 one of the characters goes “mad”. 2 mean girls is generic waitress sitcom from the 2010s with a couple jokes that don’t hit but so far I’ve not noticed any dementia jokes, a little downer in the beginning with rich girl losing her money but she gets on in life. On YouTube? I recommend Athena P, she’s light hearted and looks at Lore in children’s shows if you like nostalgia, otherwise her tier lists are very entertaining, again I’ve not noticed any dementia jokes.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope you’re receiving the support you need at this time, and remember that you are and your loved one was so dearly loved ❤️
pixeltash@reddit
I think you mean
"2 broke girls" not 2 mean girls
Just_A_some1@reddit
Yes I did, thank you
Admirable-Trouble789@reddit
Last Tango In Halifax.
I'm rewatching it now.
esjae@reddit
We lost our pet suddenly earlier this year, and whilst the house was too quiet, we ended up watching a lot of American Dad - whilst we had seen most episodes previously it was engaging enough that we could watch the ones we hadn't seen before and then used the ones we had as background noise whilst we did other things
DepartureAwkward5002@reddit
I'd recommend Detectorists. It's on bbc I player
CellistLow8857@reddit
In general I agree but for me and my partner it’s too much! My MIL chose the Detectorists theme song as the music at my FIL’s funeral. I haven’t been able to watch it or listen to the song since, it just breaks my heart.
In fact I can barely hear Johnny Flynn’s voice at all now without feeling the grief.
fistmcbeefpunch@reddit
I was going to suggest this. A great show, light hearted and warm show that's really easy to watch
alwaysribs@reddit
Yes me too. I’ve had two bereavements in two months, and this show is very kind and gentle. A very easy watch and very funny! It just switched my mind off trauma mode completely.
wlsb@reddit
When I'm depressed I watch Disney films that I saw as a child. Not any that came out when I was an adult. I find them comforting.
Small-External4419@reddit
When I’ve been through similar traumatic times all I wanted to watch was quiz shows
SensitivePotato44@reddit
Just keep the mute button handy for the endless cremation plan adverts.
roozierooo@reddit
I find Taskmaster great for these kinds of situations - warm, silly, and no plot to follow along with
Uk sorry for your loss
leclercwitch@reddit
Also taskmaster! My boyfriend and I watched all seasons over 5 months and now we’ve got to wait until the 10th of June to watch the next season. In the meantime we’ve watched Friday Night Dinner, Stath Lets Flats, and Year of the Rabbit. All very good, lighthearted and hilarious.
redds56101@reddit
Not watched the last one you mentioned, thanks for the suggestion.
leclercwitch@reddit
Anything with Matt Berry is great. What We Do In The Shadows is brilliant and would recommend that too!
Glittering-Wall2557@reddit
After my grandma died last year I got a sudden urge to rewatch series 5 of Taskmaster (partner and I are big fans and always up to date with current series). It was a wonderful distraction. I’d highly recommend.
I’m so sorry for your loss too.
geekfreak42@reddit
I was gonna say exactly the same, i'd also point at Guy Montgomerys guy mont spelling bee.
Basic-Computer2503@reddit
Taskmaster is my suggestion too. Engaging but not difficult to follow.
No_Height_2408@reddit
Cooking shows
txteva@reddit
Taskmaster rarely goes for deep feeling but doesn't need careful following. 4oD often has the NZ and Aus versions as well.
Ted Lasso & The Good Place when you are ready to start processing - both feel good but a bit raw if not ready yet.
The Goes Wrong Show (BBC) is great for laugh a minute slap stick comedy when you feel like a quick cheer up. Imagine a local theatre company who are very unlucky in every play.
Rare-Bumblebee-1803@reddit
When my father died I watched Twins
Cryptic_Spren97@reddit
This is a radio program rather than a TV one, but Just a Minute is great because it's funny but you don't have to concentrate too much. Similarly I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.
Fun_Requirement_8822@reddit
I had just moved to the uk and was there for under 6 weeks before having to fly back across the Atlantic for a family funeral. Was freaked out with the travel and the expense, but Derry Girls got me sorted. Sorry for your loss OP
calpolqween@reddit
Emily in Paris? Colourful and lighthearted but isn’t laugh-out-loud funny
julia-peculiar@reddit
Time Team
Desperate-Cookie3373@reddit
I lost my brother at the end of February and, before that my best friend at the end of September and I am very sorry for your loss.
After my friend died I watched some gently emotional films like The Ballad of Wallis Island but I also did lots of country walks and listened to music we both liked.
I didn’t watch anything in the days after my brother died as I had to go abroad to be with my sister in law, but I read a lot. However, once I got home I followed my instincts and have watched a mixture of gentle comfort programmes that are familiar and new things in the same vein (so for me things like Detectorists and Small Prophets, and 1995 Pride & Prejudice and The Other Bennett Sister).
A few months on I am now sometimes purposely watching films about grief such as Hamnet and TV shows that will provoke tears as it is part of the grieving process for me right now, but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend films that until things are less raw for you.
I wish you well and hope that you find the best way to sit with your grief.
ryan22788@reddit
Scrubs
Thestolenone@reddit
There is a Film called The Backup Plan with Jennifer Lopez, its a silly romcom but not laugh out loud. I remember watching it and thinking this is the perfect film for anyone who wants to watch something where nothing awful happens. It is so not what I would normally choose to watch, I'm into escapism like historical and sci fi films and paranormal horror but this is just so sweet without being too saccharine and I watched it to the end which is saying something for me. I'm sorry I don't recall if there are any elderly people in it.
ARobertNotABob@reddit
She's growing on me. Atlas is also fun, though the robot steals the show.
Prestigious_Emu6039@reddit
I would opt for Columbo
noradrenaline@reddit
If you want to check whether a movie contains specific things that might be upsetting to you, there’s a website called (sorry) “Does The Dog Die” started by someone who wanted to avoid media with the loss of a pet. It’s expanded now to include a wide range of things crowdsourced by people who’ve seen the movie, and it aims to not spoil plots by just giving binary yes/no answers to questions rather than outlining the plot.
Disastrous-Place-846@reddit
Whatever you do, do not watch after life.
DameKumquat@reddit
Bake Off?
mynameisjodie@reddit
I put this on for background noise it's weirdly charming to listen to just don't watch the su2c one because the stories are sad
pintsized_baepsae@reddit
I'd agree, but read up on contestants first - there have been a few sad stories over the years 🥲
hannahfftl@reddit
Not quite the same but my mum was hospitalised 18 months ago and I watched man on the inside on Netflix and it just hit the spot of what I needed it to be. Took my mind off worrying and cheered me up.
Hippadoppaloppa@reddit
The Durrells is nice and gentle and cosy. Sorry for your loss OP.
Orcapa@reddit
You'll want to avoid "The Giggle Loop" episode of Coupling.
Pavlover2022@reddit
Clarkson farm if you have Prime. Otherwise- Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee (Australia) on iplayer. Perfect to dip in and out of and amusing , not full comedy.
TonyStowaway@reddit
Watch something easy and neutral, like a cooking programme or documentary and play occupying games on mobile, I find the puzzle like ones great to shut off with like this Arrows game I'm playing currently, where you release the right arrows in order to solve the puzzle. It shuts up the brain and occupies it.
Listening to neutral Lo-fi music is good too, maybe from some of your favourite games or something to give familiarity & comfort.
Take it one day at a time.
I'm sorry for your loss, it will get easier to handle in time. I wish you saftey through the storm and I hope you find your inner peace again soon 🫂🖤
r1Rqc1vPeF@reddit
Mortimer and whitehouse gone fishing.
Current_Mongoose_844@reddit
For some reason, my brain went to Jurassic Park
Ok_Teacher6490@reddit
I think you're looking for comfort TV - Parks and Rec, Community, Frasier, Friends will fill that spot if you're looking for something safe.
ambergriswoldo@reddit
I find anything that’s meant to be funny a bit jarring when my mind is dealing with family illness or loss. UFO documentaries have become my go to over the years - they rarely include anything related to family bereavement / dementia etc and are so detached from the difficulties I’m dealing with at the time that I can watch them / zone out a bit from my reality
Dizz-ie10@reddit
B99
External-Praline-451@reddit
Sorry for your loss.
When I lost my Mum last year, the only thing I could watch for months was period dramas. They're suitably escapist by transporting you to a different time, and also fairly gentle and soothing.
WanderWomble@reddit
I watched the Simpsons and Big Bang Theory when my mum died in January.
I'm really sorry for your loss 💐💐
james9483@reddit
Detectorists
TheCookieMonsterYum@reddit
Sorry for your loss. My condolences.
Paddington bear films.
You might like masked singer.
rob beckett and romesh ranganathan did a series. Where they attempt to do challenges etc. But bit more of comedy. But nothing serious.
I really like keeping up appearances. For me it's a feel good humour rather than laugh out loud.
Doc Martin is fairly light and easy going.
JarJarBinksSucks@reddit
Dectectorists, Bob and Paul go fishing
NinjafoxVCB@reddit
Not quite pretend to watch but would recommend the Firefly series/serenity movie
MojoMomma76@reddit
Poirot. Escapist but emotionally realistic and serious. Obviously only the Suchet version.
JubileeFist@reddit
My suggestion would be Ted Lasso. Generally always a TV show I recommend. Comedy without being too much and generally wholesome, easily digestible with four seasons and a good wrap up.
Sorry for your loss. x
cold_tap_hot_brew@reddit
Although I love ted lasso, it does deal with grief throughout the show & might be a bit much so soon.
_Nefarium@reddit
+1 for the Detectorists and QI. Just light hearted, friendly, calming.
beant64@reddit
QI, the old Stephen Fry ones
BrowsingnDaydreaming@reddit
modern family?
Thats_my_nirnroot@reddit
To be honest, I just get drunk and watch sad episodes of scrubs lol.
Power through, I say 😭
carefulcroc@reddit
Edgar Wright stuff like Spaced, Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead.
DW_555@reddit
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm answer to your question, when my dad died I watched thing he and I both liked, like Red Dwarf, Blackadder, and a few other things, whilst getting really drunk and depressed. The first part was great for reliving memories, but the second part was shit, I don't recommend it.
stejent@reddit
I lost my dad to cancer after 6 weeks notice that he had it. And woke up to a call my mum dying suddenly and unexpectedly, both youngish (62&64) and Everybody Loves Raymond got me through them both. Comedy is so healing in many ways. Don’t discount it.
GlitteringBryony@reddit
I'd strongly suggest either something that you aren't already familiar with, or likely to want to watch again, or something that you're already so familiar with that you won't associate it immediately and forever with bereavement.
If Top Gear is about your speed, then Our Guy In Japan, or Long Way Round/Down/Up could also fill the space. Sorry for your loss, those first few days where you have to just "be normal" but also want to curl up in a hole are a real mess.
threatleveltesco@reddit
I’m so sorry for your loss. After my mum died suddenly, I watched Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets. It was a perfect bit of escapism 😊 I binge watched Taskmaster as well, the silliness of it really helped.
HomeworkInevitable99@reddit
Anything. It's all a bit numb and mechanical, but it's busy there for something to fill the time.
I'll watch comedies and won't laugh.
Then, after a while, there'll be some or two laughs.
spartan0746@reddit
Wellington Paranormal and What we do in the Shadows are personal favourites of ours.
The James May travel series is also good if you like top gear specials.
PlaneWar203@reddit
For some reason for me it's rocky horror picture show. I guess it's just so flashy and fun so it's easy to forget about everything and enjoy it. Another one I like is Tommy the rock opera by the who
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