Semi-detached neighbors having extremely loud sex even after we've politely asked them to keep it down, is there anything we can do?
Posted by Nice-Agent3109@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 496 comments
Hi all,
Long story short we moved into this semi-detached 1930s house as renters, we were on good terms with the neighbors but we realized immediately that our wall-sharing neighbors have screaming sex often enough for it to disturb my sleep.
We moved into the smaller bedroom (not adjacent to theirs) -- which involved us having to return some furniture we bought as it wouldn't fit-- and bought a noise machine, but this doesn't really help. One night we were watching a fairly loud movie in the downstairs living room and had to turn the movie up because we could hear them from their bedroom, which was the breaking point for me.
My partner sent a fairly diplomatic text letting her know that the walls were thin and we were being frequently woken up by bedroom noises late at night and politely asking if they could keep it down during nighttime. Her response was basically:
-
To say she would never dream of complaining to us about daily noise (drilling, moving furniture, etc)
-
That they, unlike us, are home owners and they ""almost lost themselves saving up for a deposit ""
-
A paragraph explaining that old houses aren't soundproof (I lived in a terraced Victorian flat for 5 years surrounded by students, so I'm not unfamiliar with what levels of sex noises to expect)
-
Something along the lines of they're planning on starting a family and babies are noisy so we should buy earplugs.
Since then the noise quietened for a bit, but is back to keeping me up at night. I don't want to get a bad relationship with them, but to be honest I am so frustrated every time I hear them because I think it's just plain inconsiderate to know you're someone who has screaming sex and decide to buy a semi-detached aged property - it makes me think what were to happen if we had children who had to listen to that! But I will be frank and say the extent (screaming) of the noises and the lack of conscientiousness make me more angry than the sleep disturbance in and of itself. So is it a me problem? It doesn't bother my partner nearly as much but he's usually already asleep.
Is there anything I can do further? I know the responses from similar posts are along the lines of "applaud when they finish" or "play really loud embarrassing music while they're doing it", but I don't particularly want to take that route, as honestly I get anxious and stressed about it every night before bed as it is, and I also can't wear earplugs as I have very narrow ear canals and they're really prone to blocking and getting sore.
Any advice would be great - even if the advice is just "go to bed earlier to avoid the noise". Or if anyone has any helpful anecdotes I'd be much appreciated.
Thank you
DiscoDoberman@reddit
They're planning to have lots of loud sex.
Then have a loud baby.
Then have loud kids.
This isn't going to change, they don't care about your peace and they know you can hear them - so "joining in" etc won't upset them.
Focus on finding a new rental ASAP.
MaleficentActuary778@reddit
Why not send the police constantly and when that doesn’t work, the council will have enough documentation for a petition for eviction?
HeyJudeMc@reddit
Do you think its against the law to have sex in your own home?
fearghaz@reddit
The police will do fuck all. I had a few episodes of neighbours from hell.
First set was students - ended up having a house/street party where there was 40-50 people in the street racing cars, doing nos, drinking, fighting at 4am. Not interested.
It was then turned into a half way house where all manner of chaos ensued.
sex noise wouldn't bother me, but your neighbours could do with learning that having a good "renter" neighbour is like gold dust once you've felt like your home is under siege.
Nannyhirer@reddit
Plus they seem to think they are entitled to be obnoxious because they own and OP doesn’t. Which makes them turds.
EfficientRegret@reddit
I have neighbours like this, we had a "heated debate" one evening over their hostile takeover of a shared driveway and they said "we own our home you see" to which i replied "and?" and they didn't have an answer to that one. I think people assume renters are travellers who just don't care about where they live and see it as a hotel
Digital_Palpitation@reddit
"we own our home"
Cool, let me know when you've bought out my landlord's claim on the driveway. Til then you own half the driveway.
Durzel@reddit
Sadly I feel like this is the pragmatic answer. If they weren't mortified at finding out their neighbour both hears their sexual activity but is disturbed enough to complain about it, then they are people that DGAF full stop about any nuisance they are causing.
callyourboyfriend@reddit
Sorry are you saying people having babies in a semi-detached house is inconsiderate????
fearghaz@reddit
This is probably the only useful advice. "as homeowners" shows they're tossers.
Move out and hope and pray the landlord gets them some shitty tenants as neighbours. That or see if you can sublet it to the council as a half way house. They'll soon be begging for it to stop.
NarrowOwl4151@reddit
Too true. V glad my neighbour's kids are all in their 20s.
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
Record it and publish it on pornhub. Anonymously.
ShufflingToGlory@reddit
What a cuntish thing to say. I'd lose my fucking mind if my neighbours talked to me like that. Don't worry about being courteous to these dickheads, beyond what's strategically beneficial for you and your partner.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
That's what set me off the most to be honest! When we moved in I baked them cookies, gave them a card apologizing for the noise of DIY (our rental had no blinds or closet shelves), and gave them extra bags of soil and gardening supplies we didn't need!
She has told me they're basically living paycheck to paycheck because they went over budget on the house, and they also need a new roof installed in the next year so it's like - your bad financial decisions are not my problem? You should have bought a cheaper house 😭
rumade@reddit
They're having loud annoying sex because they can't afford any other form of entertainment, poor dears
idek_just_for_fun@reddit
Bad financial decisions and having kids? Are they mad?
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
They moved about 200 miles from their home city to one of the most expensive counties in England bar London as well...
fearghaz@reddit
Sounds like they might not be there for too much longer then. Do you own the fence between you and them? How's it condition?
Any overgrowing trees?
Nothing is cheap anymore so if you can find a problem it's their responsibility to sort you might be able to get them to be more reasonable
Digital_Palpitation@reddit
Also how does that have anything to do with the problem? If you really struggled that bad you probably shouldn't have bought a house. maybe saved longer for a place further away from other people.
Presumably most people that rent are either saving for a deposit or just trying to save for a basic emergency fund and are "losing themselves" trying to get by in a flat, shitty economy. Having made it to the other side of that doesnt make you special. (And I say that as a homeowner. We got such a bad deal with interest rates that we're basically just paying rent to the bank instead of a landlord for the first 8 years of our mortgage anyway.)
GlitteringAdvice8486@reddit
Yeah nobody should be getting high and mighty at owning an house as opposed to renting. In this economy it is difficult to save for a deposit. Out of touch sex demons
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Not to mention my partner is 23, I'm turning 27 this week -- it's odd to be acting high and mighty in your early-mid 30s for owning a house when the couple who are barely out of uni are "just" renting 😭
SpringerGirl19@reddit
Well 27 is not really barely out of uni 😅 but also, it doesn't sound like this is a couple who would care about your circumstances at all, whether you were 27 or 67.
Someone suggested playing loud porn once they have a baby. I think just play the loud porn now... see how they like hearing sex noises through the wall. I'd do it when they are probably sleeping and it'll inconvenience them, like 6am on a Sunday.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I started uni at 22 :)
doesnt_like_pants@reddit
PhD and someone is barely out of uni at 27.
wagwanterry@reddit
Hey had mummy and daddy give them a house deposit or nan died and left the money in the will. Hopefully same happens to you or your partner so you can level up. Nobody does it on their own.
Puzzled-Job9556@reddit
This just isn't true.
wagwanterry@reddit
everyone gets inherited wealth or a handout at some point.
HotSpacewasajerk@reddit
Orphans have entered the chat
Puzzled-Job9556@reddit
They don't.
No-Taro-6953@reddit
I didn't, and I own my house
Tall_Opportunity_521@reddit
Careful, reddit will turn on you quick and start calling you paedo when you throw up those numbers...
Woshambo@reddit
There are a LOT of homeowners who think they are superior to renters.
Can any other neighbours hear them? Something people need reminded that owning your house doesn't mean you can do anything you want without consequences.
Silver_Procedure_490@reddit
The banks ‘own’ most homes in the UK…
ShufflingToGlory@reddit
Lynn, these are sex demons...
Waltuh_Whitey@reddit
No thanks. I don’t want to be part of your sex festival.
Snoo-67164@reddit
Yeah buying a house gives you the right to ownership of that house, subject to the conditions of your mortgage, it doesn't give you the right to be awful to your neighbours.
Octoboy1@reddit
We had a similar issue in our cul-de-sac a few years ago, new neighbours all day everyday, crazy loud screaming sex with all the windows open
Eventually another neighbour would outside, no matter what time it was, stand under their window and shout "THATS IT MATE, FUCKING GIVE HER ONE!"
A days of that and the sex got a lot quieter
TonyStowaway@reddit
The kinda guy you'd like to buy a beer, what a king 🤴🤣
TopEchidna7460@reddit
He probably votes reform. You know, balls and everything.
jester_hope@reddit
This bloke sounds far too capable of independent thought to be a reform voter.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Can I hire him for a few nights?
Excellent_Turn1812@reddit
In fact should get the local football teams supporters to cheer them on
Icy_Pie2529@reddit
Cheer when there’s a ‘goal!’
Foshiznik23@reddit
“You don’t know what you’re doing”
earlgreytoday@reddit
"We can hear you, we can hear you, we can hear you having sex, we can hear you having sex"
Slutkie@reddit
I think this, including the fact that we all know what tune to sing that to, is the most British thing I've ever seen
doesnt_like_pants@reddit
When the woman is out, go knock on the door and ask the fella what’s the situation with the daytime screaming?
Ask him how does he have the energy to be doing it day and night and during work hours.
Once they’ve had their fight and made up do the loudspeaker performance reviews but keep bringing up how she screams harder and longer during the daytime.
Completely gaslight them that she’s cheating.
King_Six_of_Things@reddit
r/foundsatan
Wooden_Astronaut4668@reddit
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏
FrostyImplement9565@reddit
I’ll come and do it for free just for the banter
ProfessorPeabrain@reddit
it's fleshmob time.
SameOldSong4Ever@reddit
"fleshmob"? Is that when a group of naturists suddenly gather outside your window?
ColtAzayaka@reddit
It's when the entire neighbourhood gets a turn with their wife. "I choose this guy's wife too" type of thing.
Graeme-L@reddit
/r/Angryupvote
ButterscotchTop194@reddit
I'm assuming that wasn't a typo, and i appreciate your genius.
CoconutBandita@reddit
I don't think you need to come for it to be effective
Slutkie@reddit
Can't hurt, especially if it's loud
ShoChange@reddit
Doubt it’d work, sounds like they get off on being heard tbh.
Djinfin@reddit
To join in the ‘daily drilling’?!
abcdefkit007@reddit
Or grow a spine do it for free
KiramekiBunVt@reddit
I nearly died of second-hand embarrassment once. My dog marched right outside in broad daylight, turned her back to the alleyway of the terrace, and pointed her nose toward the house next door. She started barking her head off at the neighbours frantically, who were being incredibly loud with their windows wide open.
The poor dog genuinely thought the woman was being attacked because she was being so vocal. I had to walk directly into the neighbours' performance zone to drag her back inside, all while she was barking frantically to "help" because the woman’s overacting had triggered her protective streak.
peter_nde63h@reddit
how?
Octoboy1@reddit
So I actually think she might have been an escort. I have no solid evidence of it but they were fucking constantly. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was all day, every day.
We also occasionally had a few men knock on our door asking for someone called "Angie" i didn't know an Angie, her name wasn't Angie but I dunno i started putting two and two together.
I could be completely wrong but yeah I have a feeling she was a sex worker
RoohsMama@reddit
Makes sense with the noise then… it was all a performance.
Electronic-Stay-2369@reddit
Yes this is what you need to do!
Puzzleheaded_Cake793@reddit
My aunt and uncle did similar but with loud music that was on until 3 in theorning. After informing neighbours, they would wait ten mins then blast their music back.
Could have gone sideways, yet it worked.
ButterscotchTop194@reddit
Amazing
Just-Standard-992@reddit
I have no shame, so if I was the neighbour standing outside their window I would be like “She’s almost there everyone, they’re gonna shut up soon!!!” Maybe even mention the house number casually, just so there’s no doubt.
LongBeakedSnipe@reddit
'He's about to ejaculate and she's about to fake an orgasm guys!'
Poethegardencrow@reddit
I am shameless too and I would have done exactly the same.
K0monazmuk@reddit
Can the OP Hire this guy per chance?
DevilsAdvocate1662@reddit
This is the way
Ok_Explorer2608@reddit
Heard of a similar situation in university halls, the roommate ended up playing “You can be as loud as the hell you want” from Avenue Q any time they heard loud sex. Apparently the guy struggled to finish whenever it was played.
kazman@reddit
Sounds like a bit of envy or frustration going on..🤔
Joshthenosh77@reddit
Hahaha classic
fionsichord@reddit
That’s like my suggestion of texting through performance notes to them after every session.
Curious_Ad3766@reddit
Wouldn't it just be easy for them to block OP?
RoohsMama@reddit
Maybe even gather a crowd round, have everyone give shouts of encouragement.
ChromaticRift@reddit
That is a brilliant strategy
PootMcGroot@reddit
Buy speakers with a good bass woofter.
Place them against their bedroom wall.
Play the Yakety Sax Benny Hill music at full volume on a loop from the second they start the the second they stop.
Then play the Ewok celebration song to conclude.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I have done music recently when it's been at a more reasonable hour - but usually my partner is already asleep and it's just me who is plagued with it unfortunately and I can't justify waking him up for petty revenge
Dont-be-lasagna12@reddit
Give him some earplugs and have your petty revenge.
Wooden_Astronaut4668@reddit
play it back when their family come over….
Icy_Pie2529@reddit
Yep, Sunday afternoon, in the summer when they’re in garden :)
Illustrious-Log-3142@reddit
Record what you can hear and then go round when they have family visiting and play it to them asking what the noise is all aboiut
ppyrgic@reddit
This is the right move.
coupl4nd@reddit
wake him up and shag the brains out of him, loudly.
tgerz@reddit
Have you tried a sound machine? We used one for a while as my partner was working overnights as a nurse. Love them. Now we use rain sounds from the Calm app and have a HomePod we can AirPlay.
volster@reddit
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/loud_sex.png
Get a parabolic reflector dish and I assure you he'd be okay with being woken up for petty revenge
JackGrey@reddit
In a practical 'dealing with the issue for now' sense. My neighbours were having a super loud party the other day and I was up at 4am for work.
I've just bought new earbuds, they are Samsung Galaxy Buds4 Pro, I put my head on the pillow and put one bud in my other ear and turned noise cancelling on.
I could not hear anything at all, fell asleep like a baby.
The new apple airpods and the Sony WF XM6 both have even better noise cancelling too apparently.
laughinggrvy@reddit
I wouldn't mind being woken up for revenge for my partner. It would hopefully be a short-term thing to correct the behaviour! They could still have sex, just without the theatrics.
ChewpapaNeebrae@reddit
Play Heriot - Commander of Pain at a very high volume when they're doing it. That'll put them off.
TheTackleZone@reddit
Oh, he won't want to miss this.
Jems_Petal@reddit
Get your partner on board for the petty revenge. Short term loss on his part for long term gain for both of you.
Icy_Pie2529@reddit
Is there a CD compilation, entitled ‘Music to accompany Sex?’
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
Dang I was coming to post the same about the benny hill music.
CrowKibble@reddit
Oh man this made me laugh
jonathanfischermusic@reddit
Yub nub!
Broken_Woman20@reddit
Test out the ‘we’d never dream of complaining about daily noise’ statement.
Steerider@reddit
LOL. I said Tiptoe Through the Tulips, but this is much better.
Jaded_Creative_101@reddit
If you have the audio equipment just add a microphone taped inside a rubber cup taped to the wall. Simply play their own performance back to them live and greatly amplified.
NotTheGreatNate@reddit
Cbat by Hudson Mohawke is the answer.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
Don't forget the main theme for Kirby's Pinball Land!
fookreddit22@reddit
The reddit sexy song
Logical_Cream_9296@reddit
He gave her a good yub nub
Least-Conference9547@reddit
Nit gonna lie,the Ewok celebration song suggestion just killed me!!!!!!!!
BadBanana999@reddit
A good bass what?
Obscure-Oracle@reddit
A bass woofter, it's a new type of Subwoofer.
PootMcGroot@reddit
Oops...
ltcmdrjo@reddit
Bagpipe Music worked in my case. The massed pipes and drums of the Gordon Highlanders playing Cock O' the North seemed to put them off their stride.
SameOldSong4Ever@reddit
But aren't they a bit expensive to hire?
OneCatch@reddit
Yub Nub or the post-Special Editions one?
TheGreatBatsby@reddit
Has to be Yub Nub.
handtoglandwombat@reddit
Yub Nub or the special edition one?
PM_ME_UR_AUDI_TTs@reddit
Mate you can't call them that anymore. It's bass gays or bass homosexuals now.
bmwkag1407@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
_Molj@reddit
Bonus points if you record their noises and play them back at 10x volume as close as possible
Lifeacrobat@reddit
Monty Pythons "Come sit on my face"
Confident_Yak_1411@reddit
I have a slow jams R&B playlist for this exact scenario, when I lived in a flat with paper thin walls. A block full of young professionals and students, you can imagine.
My next door neighbour was a part time dominatrix and it got out of hand at one point.
The playlist worked, it was full of songs like ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine, ‘Let Lick You Up & Down’ etc etc. You get the gist.
PositiveTemporary977@reddit
Careless whisper
spursbob@reddit
Join in and scream louder.
Unhappy-Common@reddit
Call the police. Say you can hear a lady screaming and your worried for her welfare
Plum_Tea@reddit
Record it. Then you can either shame them by playing it back at them at high volume, or use the recording to make a noise complaint to your council noise complaint team, but for that, it needs to be happeneing. If enough such complaints happen, you might get a chance of it being treated as antisocial behaviour.
d0ggzilla@reddit
Next time it happens, get right up against the wall and masturbate furiously and loudly. That should put them off.
Kactuslord@reddit
Play baby shark on repeat. That'll kill the vibe immediately
Top_Thought222@reddit
Someone I know once got an ASBO for having very loud sex and neighbour complaints 😂 it was social housing but I assume the rules are the same even if you own your own home. I would contact the council for advice and they should give you next steps which will probably be to make a not of when it is happening, how often etc.
SquareBondageDuck@reddit
Start submitting scoring sheets and reviews through their letterbox.
VinceHammersmash@reddit
I live in a council flat with no sound insulation. I'm afraid to do it with my gf, cos its guaranteed the neighbour will hear. But what do you do? I just turn music up loud, cos I think that is better than them hearing what's actually going on. But we are not loud really. Just mattress is creaky and I seriously doubt they don't hear that.. Life can be a bloody nightmare sometimes...
But I guess we gotta accommodate others. But they have to be very respectful too, in these living quarters. But then again, no one wants to hear that 😂...
Disastrous-Place-846@reddit
Have you tried having loud screaming sex to wake them up at silly times?
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I've been wanting to do that!! but my partner is much too humiliated by the thought of people hearing us have sex - or even pretending to.
I think I will have to start echoing them when I hear them if it doesn't conclude.
I get people are going to have sex, but I shouldn't be able to track my neighbour's ovulation cycle! 😭
buy_me_lozenges@reddit
It's time to get competitive.
If you show your superiority they might back down.
Kezmangotagoal@reddit
Just put some porn on. You (well your partner) doesn’t have to actually do it, they just need to hear someone having sex loudly on the other side of the wall.
bingblangblong@reddit
May I suggest https://youtu.be/BDyuvDXnC64
KeaAware@reddit
Research time! Is there any difference in the results between m/f, f/f and m/m porn noises?
For science!
bingblangblong@reddit
ugh fine I'll fill in
LiliWenFach@reddit
Record clips from well-known, cringe sex scenes (like Neil and 'Kitty' from the Inbetweeners movie) and play them until they shut up. 'Smack it... twist it off! Don't worry, lads. Kitty won't bite. Not now she's been fed'. Cringy 50 Shades of Grey clips, badly narrated erotic audio books... stuff that is obviously not you guys having sex. Let them hear how cringe it is to listen to people having bad sex.
LiliWenFach@reddit
Develop a fondness for Rock music. Heavy, gutteral screaming thrash metal. Buy Guitar Hero or a karaoke machine. Start practising your impressive vocal solos whenever they start having screaming sex.
happylurker233@reddit
Id be making a phone call to the police for a welfare check. Worried about the screaming and noise...
geeered@reddit
This - presuming OP and their partner get up much earlier normally, that should be a nice wakeup for them!
carefulcroc@reddit
Play a very unsexy song really loud every time they do it. Like Tiptoe through the Tulips or Where's me Jumper.
buy_me_lozenges@reddit
Play Tiptoe Through the Tulips and it'll be like a scene from a David Lynch film.
m1nkeh@reddit
I think in the night is absolutely unacceptable. Keep a log recorded and essentially Builder dossier of complaints.
Their first point is laughable because you don’t do DIY and move furniture in the middle of the night
Dimac99@reddit
It's exhibitionism. That sort of loud sex is entirely performative and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Will they making that racket when they have kids of their own? I'd certainly hope not. They can keep it down if they want to but they don't so you're entitled to complain to the council about their noise regularly keeping you awake. Whether or not you think it's worth it is another matter. If they were playing music, nobody would question your right.
CaptainHindsight92@reddit
I bet when they are having a wank and there is no one there they aren’t screaming. Because no one is there to hear their performance. The thing is it is kind of sad. They are so insecure that they need their partner to pretend they are in a such a state of ecstasy that they are screaming like they are being killed. It’s like asking someone to fake an orgasm. I would prefer genuine but quieter noises of pleasure to fake over the top ones any day.
Digital_Palpitation@reddit
I make noise when I'm alone, but definitely not screaming to myself for the duration. My friend's upstairs neighbour is a post grad student who does only fans and she does scream to herself (for the camera, obviously), but even SHE is considerate enough to have told my friend what she does and bought her a white noise machine, and doesn't do it at stupid hours of the day. Ive only been there once when anything was happening and you could faintly hear her fake laughing/a high pitched "flirty voice" more than anything overtly sexual. She schedules her stuff for the middle of the day when nobody is likely to be home so I guess that could get annoying if someone works from home or has a non 9-5 kind of job, but at least she cares enough to preemptively try to minimize the noise and awkwardness.
Slutkie@reddit
We have a neighbour who is a loud wanker, and so does my friend. It exists, and... Is it more grim? Don't see why I would judge someone for being single, but still, somehow, yes.
jobie68point5@reddit
it's not always performative, but they're certainly being cunts about it regardless. real shouters at least have the decency to put their face into a pillow.
doesnt_like_pants@reddit
The kind of sex OP is talking about is 100% performative.
Yeah there are some people that get a bit carried away and during the crescendo get a bit loud and can’t help but let out a grunt or a scream. Let’s be real though, it takes time to build to that and it might be for a minute or two tops.
Men don’t tend to be screamers and no one’s dick is so potent or woman’s vagina so sensitive their should be nonstop screaming.
If people are screaming in hysterical wonder for 10/20/30+ mins then I’m sorry but they just want attention.
Digital_Palpitation@reddit
I'm loud, and if I know I'm in a situation where nobody is likely to hear I do genuinely default to being loud the whole time, so I wouldn't say it's performative, but I can/do shut the fuck up 99% of the time because I'm either at home in a terraced house or at a hotel, and I'm not into broadcasting that I'm having sex to everyone sharing a wall with me. It is like a bit of a conscious effort, I guess, and maybe I restrain myself less when I orgasm, but it's not like you physically can't stop yourself from screaming for 20 minutes straight. That would signal pain, more than pleasure, to me.
Like others have said, once they have a baby they'll magically learn how to control the screaming, because it will finally affect THEM, they're just being assholes
djnw@reddit
With the sole exception of people who are deaf-from-birth.
PaulMaSchlong@reddit
Thank you
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
That's what I think is a bit unfair - if they were arguing or just screaming at that volume it would be 100% a worthy complaint -- don't get me wrong I'm sure all of us would love to scream while having sex but surely 99% of people respect that neighbors don't want to hear that...
Fionsomnia@reddit
Piggy backing on this, if they’re planning a family I think the problem might solve itself soon, though there’s a chance it’ll be replaced with another. Once they have a baby, they’ll be too exhausted for wild screaming sex at night, and on the days where they aren’t, they certainly won’t take any risks to wake up their baby. You may have to put up with crying baby noises instead though, not sure how much better that is.
Crafty_Manner2487@reddit
And this is when OP waits until the baby crying has subsided and plays back their outrageously loud sex back to them - just to show baby where they came from 🤣
Ok-Lynx-6250@reddit
Make the complaint. Or threaten to. If they own, having a dispute with a neighbours is something they'd have to declare if they ever sold.
In all likelihood, they will shut up once they have kids as they can't be having loud sex around them, so in a year, the problem will solve itself.
Dont-be-lasagna12@reddit
I'd be embarrassed if my neighbors heard me.
fortyfivepointseven@reddit
I'm an exhibitionist and I'd be embarrassed if the neighbours heard me.
There's a difference between going to a sex-on-site club or bar and banging in the open areas, versus sex out in public space or in private space visible/audible to the public.
In the prior case, everyone going knows what'll happen and is somewhere between fine with it and excited for it.
Non-consensual exhibitionists are gross and should be treated like sexual harassment cases, since that's what they are.
Intelligent-Cycle-51@reddit
It’s still a valid noise complaint. You need to complain to the environmental agency. They recommend keeping a log of dates, times, scenario (in the living room watching a movie at 9pm with the volume on level 15 and all I could hear was F me F me F me) . If you are able to pick up any noise by doing a voice recording on your phone that would also show how loud it is coming through the walls. It is normally hard to pick up any relevant noise like this without specialist microphones so if you can capture anything it will show just how loud they are.
But if you did decide to go down the petty route ….. play something really cheesy like Je ne taime non plus or mouse t I’m horny , really loud and add commentary, or when you see her sweetly ask as if your genuinely interested what films she’s starred in as she sounds professional, or ask if it’s only fans and she’s doing it for the camera . Score them … Have Len from strictly shout ‘seven’ when they stop. You’re gonna fall out with them either way so have fun and rope your partner in. I’m sure it won’t take that long to get the message through
Gottastopthisnow@reddit
If you complain to the council then they will have to declare a neighbour dispute if they sell so that might be satisfying knowing they'd have to tell people.
Have you tried speaking to your landlord? Might be worth recording it so you can show them exactly what you're hearing.
Heavy curtains might help dampen the noise and you might be able to soundproof the shared wall with acoustic panels.
Jlpeaks@reddit
I think these ‘neighbour disputes’ you have to declare are only when it comes to land boundaries, use of each others land and stuff like that
Gottastopthisnow@reddit
No, formal noise complaints are also included
Jlpeaks@reddit
Every day is a learning day!
Aggravating_Cloud657@reddit
The upstairs neighbours in our old flat were like this, and they had kids. They didn't care. It was awful.
We moved :)
w0lllf@reddit
No honestly some people are just grotty. My friends upstairs neighbours have had a baby a year for the last 3 years and they are still having screaming sex whilst their three small children all fucking cry. When I stayed over once, I started smacking the ceiling with a broom handle at 3am, and my friend ripped it out of my hands and said don't, the police were around 2 weeks ago and they confiscated a shit load of weapons from their flat 🫠 I was like, well that's fine then, the weapons are gone now! , but she got so anxious she almost had a panic attack. I just put on really loud thunderstorm sounds instead. She won't report it as she's frightened of them.
captain_seadog@reddit
That must be considered some kind of child abuse
Opposite_Radio9388@reddit
It's literally non-contact sexual abuse.
Clerical-five@reddit
This. It’s a noise issue, you have addressed it directly with the neighbours so now next step is Council. Don’t take no shit.
waveform06@reddit
Seeing as the average thrust frequency is 48 to 75 times per minute, generate an AI metronome bass track that randomly moves between 40 and 90 BPM and play it loud.
LadyGardenerUK@reddit
Wait 9 months and the sex will stop 🤣
Tony_Roiland@reddit
If you are renters then just leave.
Delicious-Fee-6225@reddit
Play Marvin Gaye let’s get it on super loud.
According-Celery-318@reddit
Get some earplugs, and get a life...
stargasm420@reddit
Have a wank and fucking get over it
jevawin@reddit
Our neighbours aren’t loud, and as far as I can tell they’ve not had sex since we moved in🤨, but the walls are thin.
You may not have the ability to do this but if it’s possible, get a plasterer to install a thin sound-insulating plasterboard wall over the top of your party wall.
Ours is like this:
— — — — — — << shared wall
###########<< sound-dampening insulation
- - - - - - - - - << sound-dampening plasterboard
It’s absolutely brilliant. Used to hear every conversation. Now only the occasional shout and a kid thundering down the stairs.
We got the whole side of the house done while we were replastering anyway when we moved in. You could focus on your main rooms to reduce cost.
If you can’t do this, next option is to try making sound-dampening picture frames. Google or YouTube it. Some people have tested different household materials and literally made a deep picture frame filled with the material.
Won’t be perfect but will help to reduce a bit.
Good luck 🤞
Odd_Sheepherder6571@reddit
I live in a flat and have been experiencing a very similar issue with my downstairs neighbour. A couple with two children share walls with her and explained they can also hear it and like me, at random hours of the day and night. When spoken to (politely) she refused to be more considerate. After a lot of research and speaking to other people I came to the conclusion a noise complaint to the council is the best way forward, but this will completely sour the relationship between you and the neighbours, if not already soured. Wish you luck in dealing with this situation, I completely empathise with how exhausting it is dealing with this.
Slutkie@reddit
Loving the thread for hilarious and valid suggestions, but I want to add this advice: respond and say that if you were "drilling" (ahem) or moving furniture late at night during sleep hours you'd expect them to complain too, and that babies are a different matter because as difficult as that might be for all, babies can't help it.
But add that if they really don't care either way, the plus side is they won't mind once they have babies if you play loud music any time of day or night, because you can't afford to buy a house and you're stressed at having to spend all your money on rent to pay someone else's mortgage and need to drown out the worry and lack of choice with noise.
I'm a noisy fucker (...), but I've learned how to be quiet out of consideration and privacy and if a neighbour ever politely mentioned/ hinted at anything about the remaining bangs and squeaks affecting their sleep I'd be so apologetic and appreciate them finding a kind way to say it.
There is a weird thing about how we get fixated on noises that stop you sleeping though, so on your own side you can work on that- I personally use very particular wind down sleep meditations on sleep headphones just to bring my attention closer to my immediate vicinity and away from whatever is going on around. No harm in doing both
mister_meaner7@reddit
Just hope she gets pregnant soon. That normally puts an end to it for a bit, they’ll be too tired with a baby. Then when they’ve got the baby to sleep start banging around the house.
Silver_Emu4704@reddit
Frying pan to fire though, surely. Babies wake up screaming in the night a lot (well, some do)
alphahydra@reddit
It's still less frustrating because you know the crying baby isn't faking it. 😂
The element of exhibitionism is what makes it worse imo. To be woken unintentionally by a baby or even a creaking bed or something, is just part of living near other people. It's annoying but can't be helped. To be pulled from sleep to made an unwilling part of someone's fetish is much more annoying.
No one needs to scream at full voice during sex. Thats just obnoxious, performative behaviour.
louwyatt@reddit
The issue with doing is as revenge is they could record it and report it to the council. Frankly if you could show someone is trying to be loud whenever you put a baby to sleep, the council would act pretty fast.
Being obnoxiously loud is one thing, purposely doing it to ruin a baby sleep, is a whole different thing.
No-Problem-1354@reddit
That will put a permanent stop to it because they will also not want to wake the baby.
BarNo3385@reddit
Somewhat double edged. A grumpy baby thats got woken up by noise is going to scream a lot louder and a lot longer than the sex lasted.
PeterJamesUK@reddit
In my experience, if she gets pregnant, it will get worse before it gets better. Much, much worse (for OP, and perhaps for the fella next door if she's wearing him out already now)
ButterscotchTop194@reddit
They're cunts. And will always be cunts. Noisy sex now, noisy other shit when they get bored of that.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
When I went round to hers for tea (before this whole thing kicked off) she mentioned they've got some fertility problems - so I don't think it'll be as soon as I like unfortunately 😭
GlitteringAdvice8486@reddit
Yeah this and also reply back with one of her witty remarks stating you hope she gets pregnant soon... and to enjoy it while it lasts as you wont as much when the kid gets here, for more than 1 reason 😅
Harrylg1@reddit
The renters rights act, coming into effect, has helped you. You have one month's notice to move. As someone who has many a cuntish neighbour, the simplest and most effective thing to do is simply move
KoorbB@reddit
The easiest option would be to move, find another house to rent. We can’t possibly know who our neighbours are when buying or renting. They are cunts, plain and simple. This will not change and likely to get a lot worse if/when they have children. The noises will just be different but the inconsiderate behaviour will remain.
oli_ramsay@reddit
Have even louder sex?
Grumpyoldgit1958@reddit
Have a look at “The Noise App” used it when we had loud neighbours a few years ago. It time stamps everything.
Woodywoody4200@reddit
Yep that's the answer,running commentary while they're at it, proper commentary too! "Go on my son,smash it,goo onnn! 😂🤣
IndividualCurious322@reddit
I think it's time for you and the neighbours to turn it into a competition. Go goblin mode, completely hog wild with passion and start grunting, smacking and slurping. Make them think your house is possessed by a very loud ghost with all the banging and shrieking.
TheMarkMatthews@reddit
Have more noisy sex
bitchesnextdoor@reddit
I love the answers to this topic. I myself live in a terrace and my lady neighbours are the same. I sit in garden and can hear them, go outside for anything can hear them and even in the house. Thst along with all the other noise. Why should we have to wear headphones to block it out.
Tiny_Jellyfish_88@reddit
Post them a note saying nobody's that good, shes lying to u. Failing that next time theyre at it and shes screaming, call the police and when they ask you why you did it, just tell them that the screaming was so loud you thought she was being murdered.
Beautypaste@reddit
Contact your local noise team through the council, it doesn’t matter if they own their house there are laws about any type of noise after certain hours. This will be your best course of action. The team will come to your house no matter what time and hear the noise themself, record an document it. Then start sending official letters, if they continue they will get a fine and eventually an ASBO or court action.
You have to be consistent, call the noise team each and every time your neighbours disturb you.
Silencer-1995@reddit
I went almost a decade in three houses of having nothing but the best neighbours you can imagine. The sort that would help you out with the laundry if your partner was sick, or help you fix your car, or just vibe with you on the grass verge with a can of (regrettably) fosters.
Then I moved into my current house and omfg. I don't wanna hijack OP's post but its taken me nearly two years to establish diplomatic relations with my fuckers and things have somewhat calmed but holy shit having crap humans as neighbours is seriously a downer. I understand the comments saying "just move" because if its feasible I honestly believe that is the best course of action.
Notnow_Imtoodrunk@reddit
Notnow_Imtoodrunk@reddit
Don't worry, I too am jealous. I have no advice, just wishing I was the neighbours.
Cathyx123@reddit
L poo
AcanthisittaRoyal270@reddit
I don’t know. Maybe join them
workingItAllOutStill@reddit
I kind of thing you have to accept it and try and not focus on it so much. I’m intolerant to noise too, and if you’re anything like me, the more you think about it, the more it disturbs you. I’ve often had internal dialogue with myself too wondering if we need to accept that we live in a society where we can’t control everything, people have different standards and other people’s lives invariably have an impact on us. We can’t live our life under complete controlled conditions.
Aggressive-Artist-63@reddit
I think…you should probably just move. You’re renting, they own their house. Probably won’t get any better
Apprehensive-List794@reddit
They sound like massive idiots. The one thing I worry about when having sex with my husband is that our neighbours can hear. If they told us “hey we can you can you keep it down” I’d be mortified and immediately profusely apologise and deliver them an apology gift basket.
avemango@reddit
Record it and post it to next door with reviews out of 10
msully89@reddit
I'm on their side on this one, and agree with their response.
chrisrazor@reddit
The most awful part of this is they think they're better than you because they own a house.
Not-That_Girl@reddit
Im loving the suggestions here.
Have you tried clapping when they finish? Or saying things like 'Good job for an old guy!'
But seriously, you are living there, I suggest you get an air purifier, a soft fan or a white noise machine to help. I lobpve my purifier.
Bifanarama@reddit
Post about it on the local FB group. Include their address. They'll soon stop when all the local pervs are hanging around outside their windows.
Few_Scientist5381@reddit
Was going to suggest chearing them on, as per the post below. Epic.
Not_Depressed_zzz@reddit
Have you thought about having even louder sex… or ask them to join in.
Another_Random_Chap@reddit
Send them the recordings.
Whitehouses_@reddit
Humiliation often works better in these situations than trying to be diplomatic. My husband and I had this problem when we lived in a Victorian terrace. One night, we were so fed up with the situation that we just started laughing at the absurdity of it. They were so ridiculously loud! We quickly became hysterical, and probably pretty loud ourselves. And they completely stopped.
The next time they started their performance, we started laughing again. And…they stopped.
I mean we did not have a good relationship with them ever, and I was SO relieved when we moved elsewhere, but it did help to make things more bearable until we did.
ClydusEnMarland@reddit
"Louder! Some of us are trying to have a wank!"
ChoiceAd1802@reddit
Move house
Fit_Boysenberry5588@reddit
Urgh gross. I hate the assumption that because they have bought a property they have more rights than you!
NormanSpaniel@reddit
Self proclaimed British Passive aggressive expert here:
Start playing songs about sex really loudly every time they start: Colour me Bads "I wanna sex you up" Or Salt n pepa "let's talk about sex" But only keep it to those 2 songs. And stop it when they... finish. They'll soon get the message and even if they don't, every time they hear those songs out in the wild they'll associate it with sexy blue time and feel all unnecessary.
If they mention it say you don't know what they're talking about and thought it was them playing it?
Steerider@reddit
Every time you hear them, crank "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" on the stereo.
autocorrect122@reddit
Put some loud sports commentary while they're at it.... Football or boxing... Or Titanic theme some.. Or Baby (Bieber) ... See which one kills the mood
Think_Substance_1790@reddit
1) speakers playing 70s pron music pushed against the wall every time
2) shout shes faking it every time you hear them, repeatedly
3) play a baby crying noise through the speakers from 1
4) go outside after theyve finished and play triumphant, celebratory music and start dancing around, tell them youre celebrating in the hope that they conceive soon
5) play actual pron through the speakers when theyre NOT doing it.
Counterpoint-4@reddit
You wouldn't have to heckle from outside, on view to everybody, your walls are thin!
Equal-Echidna8098@reddit
I've found that people who do this actually like the idea of people hearing them.
It's a kink to them.
Fuckwits
4BennyBlanco4@reddit
Clearly the only thing to do is have louder sex than them.
em_i_l_y@reddit
I don't get why this sort of thing isn't treated the same way as a flashing someone. I'm all for people having a good time, but at a certain point it feels like you're an unwilling participant!
I guess its great if you love unsolicited D-pics, now you've got a soundscape to go with them.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Yeah, it makes me feel a bit gross to be honest! It gives me flashbacks to some not-so-great past events In my life!
phoeniks@reddit
You can complain to your council’s Environmental Protection team. They can issue an order to refrain from noise nuisance between the hours of 11pm and 7am under the Environmental Protection Act 1990, punishable by a fine or even imprisonment for repeat violations.
burnerman88@reddit
Had to scroll way too far to find a sensible comment like this 🙃
Separate_Avocado5964@reddit
This is the most reasonable answer!
hdhxuxufxufufiffif@reddit
And because the OP rents, they don't have to be worried about initiating neighbour disputes that would have to be disclosed upon selling the house.
callyourboyfriend@reddit
About people having sex in their own house? No, there’s nothing you can do. Learn to ignore it.
Random_Guy_47@reddit
Ask them to be louder as it's not quite loud enough for you to masterbate to.
Maybe the idea of you getting off to them getting off will put them off.
2wheeledGiraffe@reddit
Call 999 and say you heard screaming coming from next door
James_Whiteside45@reddit
The “we’re homeowners and you’re renters” bit is completely irrelevant and honestly makes them sound like knobs. Owning the house doesn’t give someone a free pass to keep neighbours awake at night.
I wouldn’t go down the route of clapping, playing music, or trying to embarrass them, because that’ll just turn it into a neighbour war and you’ll both lose.
Keep a simple noise diary with dates, times, how long it lasted, and how it affected you. Then send one more calm message saying you’re not trying to police their life, but being repeatedly woken up late at night by screaming through a party wall isn’t reasonable.
Something like:
“Hi, just raising this again as the late-night bedroom noise is still regularly waking us up. We understand the walls are thin and normal household noise is unavoidable, but this is loud enough to disturb sleep from another room. We’re not trying to cause awkwardness, but could you please be mindful of the volume late at night?”
If they still don’t care, speak to your landlord and/or the council noise team. It might feel awkward because of what the noise is, but at the end of the day it’s still nuisance noise.
Also, her bringing up future babies is a red herring. A crying baby is unavoidable. Two adults screaming like they’re trying to get a standing ovation is not quite the same thing.
SensibleChapess@reddit
Work out of the sound is travelling through things like joists, or through the walls.
I soundoroofed my walls very effectively on a budget with two layers of office flooring 'carpet squares, (pulled out a skip), stuck to the wall and then a layer of plasterboard.
It was a fraction of the cost of soundproofing solutions you can buy, (probably £65 including all the decorating afterwards), and solved about 90% the problem ofous music coming from next-door's teens.
BoringTomatillo27@reddit
I always yell things along the lines of “she’s faking!” “Ok love, Oscar for your performance” etc etc, tends to put them off and shut them up.
spinningdice@reddit
Record it and sent it to them, with a 'just so you know this is how it sounds from our side?'
SWFC_wawaw_fan@reddit
Ask to join in, sounds fun
pulledporktaco@reddit
Charlie Brooker made two Spotify playlists called Aural Contraception and Aural Contraception II, which should help
Purplestripes8@reddit
Record them and post it Facebook
ellie___@reddit
They aren't babies though.
Sorry, I don't get it. Normal people don't want their neighbours to hear them shagging. This sounds almost like an exhibitionism thing. I don't think it would be at all unreasonable to make a noise and nuisance complaint.
Any_Preference_4147@reddit
I had a loud poop and when I'd finished I realised my bathroom window was open. It was the middle of the day and we live on a main road so I really doubt anything was heard, but I was mortified. For days.
Screaming during sex is completely performative, I don't give a shit how good it is. Moans and groans, heavy breathing is normal. But actual screaming?
Do these people feel no shame? It's got to be some weird kink or something.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
That's what I wanted to say! We live in a very family street, so we expected to move beside kids or babies. They can't help the noise... But an adult can definitely help screaming during sex... It's the lack of conscientiousness more than anything
BobbyPotter@reddit
Sorry just going to jump on this comment here as I'm on my lunch break and in a rush - have you tried silicone earplugs? They're an absolute game changer, sooo much better than foam ones and way more comfortable too as they don't expand as you sleep, might be worth a go (though I agree that you shouldn't have to wear them in the first place!).
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Thank you!! I'll look into it
Sonic320@reddit
Why does the Benny Hill theme tune come to mind? 🤣
bingblangblong@reddit
https://xkcd.com/316/
Weary_Crab_2111@reddit
I had this in a flat, so we used to go downstairs and ring their doorbell non stop whilst they were at it! They soon stopped.
bluepushkin@reddit
Laugh at them. Mock their screams. I'm not kidding.
I had trouble with a downstairs neighbour who had women over constantly who were screaming and moaning at stupid o'clock like porn stars. I was so fed up and over-tired I just started cackling. They heard me and stopped. I stopped laughing. They started up again. So did my laughter. They stopped for the night. Then every time after that I was woken up by the over the top screaming I just mocked their noises back to them. They didn't shag in their flat for a long time after that and when they started again it was just bed noises and quiet grunts. So I let them be. 🤷🏻♀️
CriticalCentimeter@reddit
Things that never happened pt 1.
Jimny977@reddit
This is the most mundane plausible story ever, why do some hermit Redditors think nothing ever happens?
kaja6583@reddit
"You laughed???" Didn't happen.
bluepushkin@reddit
It happened. Why the fuck would I lie about something so stupid??
starsky1357@reddit
This is the way.
ExternalMuffin9790@reddit
When they start, place a speaker next to the wall and start playing an audio of babies wailing.
Or check out your local authority's noise ordinance. If you're with a housing association or HOA/shared landlord, contact them.
This can be considered against the law in some places as technically they are subjecting you to sexual acts without consent.
In a non-creepy way, get a recording of it as evidence.
Galbs@reddit
Get some large speakers and press them up against your shared wall. When the screaming starts blast 30 seconds of something off-putting/unsettling through the wall (Venga Boys, animal sounds, their own screaming, industrial machinery, etc) until they stop or realise if they're quiet enough the psychological warfare stops.
I recommend looking at the Waco Siege for inspiration on what sounds to use - I do not recommend other related ATF activities.
starsky1357@reddit
this guy found an "easy" solution
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
We're both software engineers... So this may not be entirely out of the realm of possibility...
Just-Standard-992@reddit
If you do this, maybe play The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang to shame them, or Baby Shark to kill the mood. On loop, until they shut up.
LiliWenFach@reddit
Or record clips from well-known, cringe sex scenes (like Neil and 'Kitty' from the Inbetweeners movie) and play them until they shut up. 'Smack it... twist it off! Don't worry, lads. Kitty won't bite. Not now she's been fed'. Cringy 50 Shades of Grey clips, badly narrated erotic audio books... stuff that is obviously not the OP having sex. Let them hear how cringe it is to listen to people having bad sex.
geekfreak42@reddit
Baby shark is a good choice but yakkety sax is better
Galbs@reddit
no way - i wrote out automating it with arduino and some sensors then deleted it. now you gotta
Galbs@reddit
Ah you mentioned playing loud sounds back at them.
Ok, plan B; It's immoral but not illegal. Catch one of them and comment about the amazing sex they have at a time you know one of them was out. Maybe you're mistaken, they think? Have your partner mention it too - surely you can't both be wrong, they think? Given the volume the neighbours would surely notice the sex happening when I'm at work, they wonder.....
Content-Order7794@reddit
Silicone earplugs might work for you as you can break and mould them to fit even tiny ears as I have similar ear issues and these work for me to drown out snoring and dog barking. X
Decard_Pain@reddit
I've got to do it I'm sorry, neighbours.
Vacation_Active@reddit
Ask to join in?
PhysicsForeign1634@reddit
Livestream the audio. There's an audience for everything these days.
Marksmdog@reddit
Microphone, loud speakers against the wall, and a 2 second delay
Kara_Zor_El19@reddit
I live in an end terrace and my neighbour is very loud when she’s “getting busy”. The adjoining wall has a built in wardrobe on our side, and when we close the doors it blocks out most of the noise.
If you can get wardrobes as tall as possible to the room height, a then if you store things on top to minimise left over space, it will act as a sound cushion.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
We already have floor to (almost ceiling) bookshelves on both cavities of the wall either side of the fireplace in that room.
I'm not sure it will to too much when I can eat them from the other floor on the other side of the house? 😅 Our bedroom isn't on the room attached to their bedroom anymore
Skoobydoobydoobydooo@reddit
Drop some flowers at their door addressed to him from “someone special”. Should give you a few months of peace.
Purple_Jump_7403@reddit
They're sex people Lyn
Big_Comfortable4256@reddit
I would drill and move furniture all night. Every night. Apparently they won't complain.
Lewokid@reddit
Imagine working hard to own your own house and finally smash your wife however you want to start a family and then some cuck in a rental starts moaning about it.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
You're an odd one
CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit
People always like to change the point of the discussion. You're discussing them keeping you awake and they change it completely.
irrelevant - that doesn't happen at night and you would complain if it did.
irrelevant - your financial situation doesn't correlate to the level of noise you're allowed to make.
**irrelevant ** - You can still be conscious of your neighbours. And unlike you, OP, as home owners themselves, they chose to buy a house that had thin walls, so they knew they planned on a life here with thin walls, they should now be conscious of being quiet.
Irrelevant - babies can't do anything about their crying, they are helpless humans needing attention to stay alive. On the other hand, they are fully grown, supposedly fully functioning adults who understand are, at this point, choosing to be loud at night.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
You've perfectly capsulated every thought I've had on the ridiculousness of her response!
Shiffty25@reddit
When you hear them having sex, you and your wife should start screaming and shouting back , making sexual noises as loud as you can.. Trust me nothing will be more annoying to them, if they hear you and it will put them off from their rhythm and might stop them having sex so bloody loud. I know if i heard next door taking the piss out of me and my wife while having sex it would put us right off from doing it so loud.
eastereggfun@reddit
Sorry that you’re having to suffer through that noise. I have never been successful in persuading neighbours to quieten down so I cannot help with that but I did have similar issues with earplugs before so can help there.
Have you tried silicone based earplugs? With them, you essentially form a vacuum like seal outside the ear and don’t actually push them inside the canal, so you shouldn’t have any soreness. I use Alpine SoftSilicone but any brand should be similar. My ears have been pain free since I switched to these!
Then if you want something to dampen the noise but still allow you to hold a conversation during the day I would highly recommend the brand Loop.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I've never heard of those, I'll try those out! My ears are so sensitive even wearing noise-cancellong headphones for longer than an hour or so makes my ears weird for a few days.
PigHillJimster@reddit
Set a microphone up and stream it online, advertising their activities in the local facebook group.
Tegs1972@reddit
Fill in a noise pollution complaint form on your Council's website
jimbodinho@reddit
As soon as they have a baby they’ll shut the fuck up and will be desperate for you to be quiet too.
NrthnLd75@reddit
Ask if you can join in obviously.
BigReference1xx@reddit
Record them and play it back to them in the middle of the day... with all the windows open so everyone can hear.
carbsandchaos@reddit
I already know I'm going to be downvoted for this, but some of us literally can't help being loud during sex. I try to be quiet, I really do, but even with a gag in you can still hear me. My partner makes very little noise, just some dirty talk in my ear, but I am a 'screamer' and I can't just turn off my entirely uncontrollable response to stimuli.
Your neighbours may not actually be intentionally disruptive by being loud. Invest in some proper soundproofing. Perhaps you could go halves on some cavity wall insulation for the adjoining walls? I understand they're the ones being loud but you're the one with the problem. They're otherwise nice people right? There's no reason to believe they're being deliberately anti social or trying to cause you distress - they're just engaging in a perfectly normal part of life.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I think that's perfectly fair - but the tone of her reply was extremely condescending to us.
If she sincerely apologized and said they'll try and keep it down I wouldn't be nearly as bothered. If she was genuine in trying to lower the volume I don't think her message would have included her talking about how much they paid for their deposit...
carbsandchaos@reddit
Okay, that's a fair point. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt where possible and perhaps I'm projecting my own experience too much.
I don't think you can change the situation because you can't control what another person does, and starting up neighbours wars with loud music or other passive aggressive actions isn't going to bring peace to your life.
You could try something to block out the sound and relax yourself before bed to change your association with going to bed though. Loop do earplugs specifcially for sleep - I wear them because I need silence to sleep and my partner mouth breathes and snores. They're pretty comfy as earplugs go. You could also start putting earphones in and listening to something relaxing before bed like an audiobook or music? You wouldn't hear next door and you'd create a new routine that's calming instead of being anxious about possilly hearing next door going at it.
MindComfortable6216@reddit
Your best solution is earplugs. I know you said you can’t wear them but you haven’t tried the right ones. I have very small ear canals and after trying some earplugs unsuccessfully I found the ones that you mould to shape. There are about 8 in a container and I wear a pair for about 10 days. I break apiece off each one to make them slightly smaller. I have been wearing them for years and hear nothing, I used to have sleeplessness nights before. I get mine from Home Bargains in the travel section but they sell similar ones on Amazon.
ETBio@reddit
Next time you see them, gift her a ball gag. "Saw this and thought of you!" And wink.
78Anonymous@reddit
Sincerely hope that you don't need to move, but as some have mentioned, some people are so antisocial by default that they simply do not care how their behaviour affects other people, which seems to be the case.
Foxglovenectar@reddit
I had to scroll way to far to find an actual bit of solid advice.
cactusoft@reddit
I would set up a web site.
"MyScreamingSexNeighboursAtNumber78.com" and publish daily recordings of the antics.
If you can't stop it, monetize it.
BristolEngland@reddit
Here is how to resolve the situation in one night:
1) Get their WhatsApp number 2) Sit in your living room, and record the sounds you can hear 3) Send them the recording the following day
Expert-Tie-1530@reddit
Perhaps once she falls pregnant the loud sex noises will be replaced with screaming baby noises oh joy of joy
Hour_Kaleidoscope723@reddit
I would contact the Landlord record the noise and time.. The council can issue an Abatement Notice.. neighbours ask if they have issues with the noise.. we’re I live we have a neighbourhood app where we let each other know what’s happening of incidents etc..
Katkin19@reddit
Start phoning the police and tell them you think someone is getting tortured?!
McSheeples@reddit
If you can't wear ear plugs try a snoozeband or something similar from amazon. I have one, it's not noise cancelling, but if you play white noise or anything else that will help you sleep it blocks outside noise very well and is very comfortable to sleep in. Your neighbours sound absolutely delightful...
whciral@reddit
How much is the affecting you? And would you consider moving because of of?
It's a tough one because every property has issues, if you move there could be another issue.
Apart from moving bedrooms, sleeping downstairs. I'm not sure what else you can do?
Do you feel this is something you could get used to? Do you like the house, the area that you can think about that?
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
As silly as it sounds, it does make me anxious and stressed out every single night before bed. Then when it does happen it infuriates me more so because of how rude her reply was to our reasonable request moreso than the noise itself 😂
We are not here long-term, maybe 3-5 years if saving for a mortgage goes well then we'll be moving to my hometown in Ireland.
I think I may have to learn to put up with it - my last apartment, we had issues with our neighbors and I eventually (more or less) learned to tolerate it.
I hate moving house more than anything else, so I'll do pretty much anything to avoid that again.
amidnightthrowaway@reddit
Have you tried those wax/putty earplugs? They dont really go into your ear canal they kind of squish up against the outside and slightly inner part of your ear. They also work a lot better.
WiseStock8743@reddit
Record it and play it back at the same volume ... but with a 5 second delay...that'll put them off their stroke...
Ash16pm@reddit
This won’t solve your problem, but it may help, just play some white noise when going to sleep, sometime when we go on holiday hotels can be noisy so I just grab my iPhone or iPad and play white noise through the accessibility settings or if you have android download an app. As for the neighbours start recording, documenting it then report to the council.
1whoisconcerned@reddit
Yeah, they know what they’re doing, they just don’t care. I’m tempted to confront my neighbour but I know it’d be a waste of time. The probably relish the thought of you confronting them so they can ‘win’ the fight when it comes. These types understand, they just don’t care. Approach with extreme caution. Advice? Move.
ElevatorHour8020@reddit
Call the police and say you can hear screaming next door and are concerned for their safety 😂
Dennyisthepisslord@reddit
Move
Efficient-Flamingo63@reddit
I noticed you mentioned you already have a white noise machine, but have you tried sleep earbuds? They're not for everyone, but I've found they're an absolute life saver to mask any 'external sounds' like you're experiencing! I originally had Bose Sleepbuds, but when they were discontinued, I switched to Soundcore A20's which I find just as good
No_Block9049@reddit
I’d say that the best thing is to ignore it, we can hear our neighbours having sex every night and their dog barking all day and we don’t complain but they don’t complain about our noise so it’s a mutual thing
D3M0NArcade@reddit
"at least we own our house"
So did Hitler, shit flex...
Unepetiteveggie@reddit
The only real way to deal with these kind of people is when they're having the loud sex, play even louder more obnoxious things.
Separate_Avocado5964@reddit
I would complain to the local council, there is normally a process to report high levels of noise at antisocial hours.
Bernice1979@reddit
They gave you advance notice about having a baby, I think this is is a good thing for you and you’re going to have to find a new rental at the earliest opportunity. I don’t think they’ll ever be considerate or quiet.
ButterscotchTop194@reddit
Complain to the council, but I doubt they will take it seriously.
Keep talking with the neighbour. But not over text. Go see them. Have a coffee with them. Non-confrontational.
And honestly, ear plugs till you find somewhere else to live.
Those cunts will unlikely change their ways.
AmILukeQuestionMark@reddit
Hibermate Sleep Mask - or any sleep mask with ear defenders built in might help.
I'd figure out when they go to sleep, + 6 hours, then start with the loud music to cut their sleep short.
mahler_1@reddit
Play done very loud noisy porn in your bedroom and see how they like it. Or have very loud sex yourself.
affogatohoe@reddit
I think it would be good to be prepared to move firstly, but to let your landlord know. If the landlord catches on that renters are literally or planning on moving out because of neighbours having loud sex they will be incentivised to deal with it as the property owner. What if the next family has children? Absolutely not acceptable. I don't know if this is possible but the landlord may even have legal mechanisms to recover loss of income from renters leaving because of them, someone with more knowledge can weigh on on that.
As satisfying as it would be to loudly play the Thomas the tank engine theme tune every time they loudly go at it I dont think that will help the situation much and will break down the relationship further and you really don't want retaliation.
You could, however, ask if they think when they have children its appropriate to have such loud sex around them. Perhaps they want to practice being quiet before the children arrive so no one has to report them for being inappropriate around children.
realcov@reddit
Record it a few times, and then send them all to her. If it carries on then send it to the local authorities.
Direct_Impress_6277@reddit
Call the police and say you think there is domestic assault going on. You can hear screaming and thumping and a woman might be in danger.
ollieholt1@reddit
People are people, they will do and say things that may irritate others. I think your only permanent solution is to rent a detached property should you ever move.
I'm sorry the noises are bothering you to the point of lost sleep, that's torture. I hope you get some peace.
Catlady6000@reddit
Stars wars theme tune on full blast when they start !!!
Only-Tutor7115@reddit
Change your wireless network name to wecanhearyoushagging
Khaleesix87@reddit
I’d give them running commentary. That’s it faster harder, put some effort in she’s clearly faking tonight and whatever else you can think of
Adventurous-Ad-2821@reddit
I saw in another thread, play baby shark really loudly through the walls to put them off....
wee_bit_tired@reddit
Phone the police for a welfare check, ‘I hear screams from next door and I’m concerned for their safety’
Do that each time and they will soon pack it in
bluetooth_pizza@reddit
I had this once. I fixed it by blasting music off YouTube extremely loudly and after a couple of times they got the memo. There's no person in the world who can fuck to the National Anthem of Turkmenistan.
Only-Tutor7115@reddit
Who is the noisy one, the male or the female?
apple_kicks@reddit
Can you or them sound proof?
CherryLeafy101@reddit
Bang on the wall every time they do it, or start blasting ready unsexy music. Ruin the mood for them however you can. There's no option for having a good relationship with these people.
differentpopcorn@reddit
Phone the police on them saying someone was screaming in their house
WolverineComplex@reddit
Are they attractive? I lived in a shared house with this issue once when I was younger and it was solved by one of the male housemates admitting to the female one that he loved listening to it (and touching himself) and it soon stopped…
PastLanguage4066@reddit
Sounds like they are semi-attached.
Full-Suggestion-1320@reddit
Time for Cbat music on everytime it starts.
I honestly think this sort of person is an exhibitionist. You could of course start shouting and screaming about how much they turn you on and pretending to have loud sex yourselves.
South-Visual3803@reddit
Idk, could you have a crack at it and try and be louder?
You might have to set some alarms and go back in the other bedroom for maximum impact.
A ‘shag off’.
And see how they like it.
Winter_Cabinet_1218@reddit
I think loud speaker and David Attenborough style narration. Just remember if it's less than 5 minutes to end it with, well sometimea you just have to leave things satisfied
Doubleleg787@reddit
Go around when the wife isn’t in. Seduce the husband. Give him the best drilling of his life. When she comes back he won’t be able to. As you destroyed dat ass. Rinse and repeat until you can buy elsewhere
mumwifealcoholic@reddit
Buy ear plugs.
It's to worth the time and hassle to do anything more. These are living noises. Wait till they have kids, you will get more living noises.
JocastaH-B@reddit
I found Mack's slim fit earplugs don't make my ears sore. I got them on amazon
Satchm0Jon3s@reddit
Record them. Play it back loudly when they have guests round.
RedFox3001@reddit
Keep a diary and complain to the council that it’s affecting how you live in your property. Imagine if you had kids and they had to hear that
luffyuk@reddit
Create a large sign for your garden that says something like WARNING, LOUD SEX NOISES NEXT DOOR with an arrow.
Signal-Ad2674@reddit
I’d just move. They won’t change and your mental health is not worth it.
Acceptable_Reach2892@reddit
Ask to join in? Theres no way they can be having sex all night surely
laughinggrvy@reddit
I would be absolutely mortified if a neighbour ever got to the point they had to bring up hearing me have sex and it being disruptive. That's such an awkward topic to broach.
They're getting off on it. Or just enjoy being a nuisance. You need to get petty back.
No-Ice6935@reddit
Unfortunately if they want to keep being so inconsiderate, just play them at their own game, I know it feels petty to a reasonable human being, but I think it’s the only way. Play some shit loud music when they are quiet against their walls, when they are and are not having sex. Be persistent. Hopefully they will say “ok fair enough this is shite”.
RedPandaCommander24@reddit
Fitted wardrobes on the adjoining wall.
My parents house is a 1930s semi, and downstairs you hear everything through the wall, but the bedrooms front and back both have fitted wardrobes the length of the wall and that seems to insulate the sound completely, you can't hear a thing.
I live in a 60s council flat and my neighbour walking around upstairs is like banging on the ceiling (to say nothing of the other sounds), so I really sympathise 😩
neo101b@reddit
record it and play it back.
Darkgreenbirdofprey@reddit
Hot
babysfatwrist@reddit
I have one of those little mini karaoke machines with the little microphones, I could lend it to OP for the playback
Kind-Champion-5530@reddit
When they have company over. Bonus points if you play it back when their parents/family are visiting.
Prestigious_Box5654@reddit
Very effective, both with speaker to the wall and to the entire neighbourhood.
CorpusCalossum@reddit
Loudly in the street when they come out for work in the morning
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
At least you now know why the previous tenants moved. Jokes aside I agree with the other comment that it’s pure exhibitionism, they are clearly turned on by it. I would move personally if it’s effecting my sleep quality
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
They moved in after the previous tenant left (they had to gut and redo the house as he was a hoarder), so I thought perhaps they didn't quite realize how loud the noises were, which is why we moved rooms and bought a white noise machine until 5-6 months later we brought it to their attention... 😅
Seems like the choices are join in and hope it shuts them up, deal with it, or move...
kittiestkitty@reddit
Soundproof panelling is cheap and really easy to install on shared walls and may dampen some of the sound.
Have you put in an ASB complaint w police? It’s usually easy to do online. Gives you something to do when you’re pissed off, and they have to follow up w your neighbours on it. You could also stay you have a child staying w you and you’re concerned it’s affecting them.
DenM0ther@reddit
Or if the mortgage rates are going up soon, they might be forced to move 🤷♀️
No_Confidence_3264@reddit
Technically speaking it’s sexual harassment, you can report it that way yes the police are unlikely going to do anything about it but always worth letting your neighbours know that being exposed to sexual content against your will is a form of sexual harassment. If they don’t seem to care just record it and log a report a sexual harassment anytime it happens
lumpymustard@reddit
Had a similar issue in a flat with upstairs neighbour.. it was getting ridiculous so a heavy bass speaker held to the ceiling with 'careless whisper' on full blast seemed to work after a few times and was actually very satisfying revenge.
Alternatively, once I left and rang their doorbell that also shook them up.
They are being incredibly rude and inconsiderate OP.
PaulMaSchlong@reddit
Honestly this shit makes me blood BOIL, sex doesn't have to be loud, like arguing doesn't need to be shouting. I would rather live in a caravan than have a shared wall I can hear neighbours.
nerdalertalertnerd@reddit
Unfortunately they’ve made it clear they don’t give one eff about it keeping you awake and never will. Good news is you rent. Don’t renew the contract when it’s due to expire and feel free to tell the landlord why you won’t be staying (once you’re out maybe). For now, I agree about playing music when they’re doing it. Tbh even if it’s late at night I would start to anyway. It might at least help them get the hint. If your partner can agree to support you with that for now. Otherwise, headphones it is.
semorebunz@reddit
anytime you get up in the night toot an airhorn , wait for the complaint and suggest they get ear plugs
_David_London-@reddit
Sending texts, emails or notes to people complaining about their behaviour normally only ever gets a counter productive response.
If you are still on talking terms, then try and approach them when they are both together and say "Thank you for taking on board the feedback about the bedroom noises. It has started to be an issue again unfortunately. I guess you don't realise how loud you are but you are a right old screamer! I taped what I heard and my friends found it hilarious when I sent it to them but it is proving to be an issue."
I am sure that they would be absolutely mortified by that and wouldn't know how to respond. At that point, say "Oh well. Nice seeing you." And walk away whilst they are still open jawed,
Shadow_Demon999@reddit
Ask if you can join in.
ealwhale@reddit
count your lucky stars that you are only renting. I would look to move asap. In the meantime, the petty revenge someone else mentioned is a great idea!
No_Appointment_7576@reddit
Just wait until they have babies. You will see a dramatic drop in sex noises.
IEnumerable661@reddit
LOL. I was accused of this very thing in an flat I used to live in. I got a big long diatribe about how there were kids in the building and I should have some more respect.
The issue was, I lived alone and had done for six months, had no girlfriend and as far as I was aware, was generally quiet. I wore headphones when playing music or watching movies, but even then I was totally unaware of loud sex noises from anywhere. I just knocked on the door and told the woman she had the wrong person, though that did entail my having to admit I was in the middle of a total dry spell but I wasn't eager to turn this into some sort of lurid movie-style set up.
She wasn't having it, though. Apparently she had even heard the noises when I was away for a week, I put it down to her being nuts. She decided I was the villain of the building at some point anyway, and I didn't give enough shits to try and fix it.
Anyway, getting close to moving out day, was talking to one of my neighbours. He knew about this little one-sided feud but he was talking to me about his plumbing finally getting sorted. The landlord and builder were in to replace a bunch of pipework. I just randomly said, "They don't make sex noises, do they?" Well, his girlfriend was stood there and asked what I meant. I told her a brief version of events, they looked at each other, and they told me to come in so I could hear it.
Well blow me down! They would turn on the cold tap of their bath and there was obviously some sort of air lock. It would spute and the noise, well, the frequency, length, timbre, if you were a few walls away, I think you could possibly misconstrue that for something else. When the tap was turned on more, well, things got quicker and was even augmented with a much lower frequency burrr.
Now, I wasn't about to knock on mad woman's door to provide further insight on this situation, but I figured, I'll go down a level near-ish to where she lived in the corridor, have them run the water... and whaddya know. Yep, if I were a person so inclined, I could believe that was a lady having the time of her life bouncing 'pon some gentleman's gladius maximus. I was so tempted to knock on her door and say, "See? I'm not getting any, it's them pipes!" but yeah, I didn't see how I could come off well in that conversation regardless.
We did take turns auditioning the sound for sure. But alas, I was a week or two away from moving out, they were getting their bathroom gutted that day after countless complaints to the landlord so, in effect, the noise was now leaving with me. I'm sure that woman believes I was some sort of demon of the sack operating on a nightly basis and m'lady wanted the world to know. I mean, c'mon, who has that sort of stamina for every single night? Surely sometimes you just wanna watch some TV, go for a walk or read a book?
WesternEmpire2510@reddit
Do it at the same time they do, but be louder
EUskeptik@reddit
You’re renting?
Why haven’t you moved somewhere else? 🤔
-##-
AffectionateTrash146@reddit
I had upstairs neighbours like this, I used to shout back "SHE'S FAKING IT!" She got a bit quieter after that.
ashleypenny@reddit
just be glad that they own the house and you don't - you have an easy way out by renting a new place.
by making official noise complaints, you do two things - you kick off a legal process via the council, but you also create an official dispute which they have to declare upon selling the property if you still live there, so make things official because you so t have that problem on your side
start recording everything. dates, times, durations , use an app for noise levels in db. this will form your complaint and get the council to start measuring it
Earth_to_Sabbath@reddit
They're comments on you being renters was awful. I'd record it and play it back to them.
Mossy290815@reddit
If your neighbour has a semi, you need to go detached
soulsteela@reddit
Applaud loudly .
Meat2480@reddit
Could you record them, put it on loop and loud,then go out for a few hours
jake_folleydavey@reddit
I feel for you, but the comment about them being inconsiderate in buying a semi-detached because they have sex… not having that. They were also there before you.
Flashbambo@reddit
At least when they have a kid the frequency of the sex noises will go way down.
denisthesaint@reddit
Stream it on OF and make money.
Jumpy-Jello-@reddit
Please updateme when you try some of these suggestions.
I'm petty enough that I'd call the police for a welfare check for screaming... every time.
Aromatic_Tourist4676@reddit
If they are planning a family it will all quieten down very soon when the baby arrives, then they’ll be complaining about your noise so you don’t wake the baby. The only thing you could do is clap after they finish.
mbridge2610@reddit
If you can’t beat them, join them.
They may be that way inclined
Live-Dance-2641@reddit
Post them a score sheet after every session with marks for volume, pitch of screaming and duration of the activity. Might embarrass them into shutting the fuck up
Slyspy006@reddit
If they are planning on having a child then your revenge might be less than a year away. Then it will be your turn to make the noise and wake the sleepers!
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
If I was the one replying to the message I would have said "considering youre aware of how much noise travels.. and how sleep is going to be very precious to you soon, you'd think you'd want to keep your neighbors on your good side in a response to very reasonable noise complaints..."
My partner was much too diplomatic to let me be so passive aggressive
Icy_Bit_403@reddit
I reckon because they own, and therefore can't be evicted, this is why they are acting like you can't do anything; because you kind of can't. The worst the council can do is fines (I think?) unless you can argue harassment and get the police involved. Maybe they were getting kicked out of their rentals and now they feel they can do whatever they want.
Left_Condition2044@reddit
As someone with narrow ear canals, Bose Sleepbuds (I think they discontinued them, but Ozlo Sleepbuds seem made by the same people) and try a sample pack from Snorestore. If you get in touch with them first, they’ll send narrow options.
Before you put them in, try a Sleepcast from Headspace. One of the more challenging things was being left with anxiety about getting a good night’s sleep, even after we moved, so this might help.
Ultimately, though: we moved.
New-Link-6787@reddit
"The next time this happens, I'm going to live stream on facebook, whilst showing pictures of you both so that everyone can put a face to the porn star noises'
Hell. I'm sure there'd be some weirdo's on the internet willing to pay for that.
sjw_7@reddit
Remember revenge is a dish best served cold. Realistically there is nothing you can do at the moment. You sent a letter and got one back basically saying tough.
At some point she will get pregnant and it will stop. Then once the baby is born then thats the time to return the favour. She has already said she would never dream about complaining regarding daily noises. So when the new arrival is there ensure you make plenty of daily noises.
It sounds as though with the walls you will be able to hear the baby when its crying. So when it stops do something to wake it up again like using a hammer drill or some other noisy DIY.
I am pretty sure they will complain pretty quickly when they are losing out on sleep. When they do just pull out the letter they gave you and point out the bit where they said they wouldnt complain.
They are self centred assholes so treat them like that.
Silver-Advance5276@reddit
Maybe ask if yous can join in ?
Late-Champion8678@reddit
I enjoy the podcast ‘We’re here to help’ with Jake Johnson of New Girl fame. They had an episode where a caller wanted suggestions on how to deal with a similar complaint from an upstairs neighbour.
I think their suggestions:
- to rate the ‘climax’ loudly out of 10: “5/10! Bit lacklustre from both sides. Have a drink and try again!” “10/10! YES! YES! THEY THINK IT’S ALL OVER! IT IS, NOW!”
- play louder sex sounds or cheer them on with the occasional nuclear “Don’t worry buddy, you’ll get her there next time!” were the best!
TheRavingDinosaur@reddit
Just moan back even louder
jastity@reddit
Leave a turkey blaster on the doorstep.
This_Palpitation6617@reddit
Post the address on some Reddit nsfw local sub saying how much you want people to hear you. Say it’s your kink to be heard and praised when it’s done. Won’t be long before a group of guys will be sat around the house waiting to listen. Say after it’s down you want to hear how much they enjoyed it.
Desperate_Guest_8594@reddit
Have louder sex.... see how they like it :D
chaostrulyreigns@reddit
Silicone ear plugs and white noise machine.
And start planning on moving
chaostrulyreigns@reddit
Move as soon as you can.
Willing-btm-Sheff@reddit
Had the same issue with a neighbour in some flats. So I got fucked by 2 guys during the day when he would be trying to sleep due to his work, funny that after 3 visits and a comment in passing about me being railed by 2 guys with the reply of yeah can’t wait for the group sex next week the noise stopped. Love petty revenge:)
geeered@reddit
Get some speakers against the adjoining wall.
Not for music, but to play loud baby screaming sounds any time they start.
"Oh, it's fine to hear family sounds, yes?"
petitbateau12@reddit
Genius. This will hopefully make them reassess both the loud sex and the baby making.
OnPointAsUsual@reddit
Offer to join them.
sheffCocksuckerS20@reddit
Loud porn playing on a tv next to their wall for a few hours a day for a week should sort it.
HannaaaLucie@reddit
We had the exact same issue at our old house. It was so loud that my dogs would wake up and bark.
We actually tried a couple of times to play them at their own game, make them realise it isnt nice to hear others. Unfortunately it made them go and have sex after which made me feel disgusting.
In the end we just had to live with it.
Still-Show4536@reddit
I would be writing a letter back saying that you have tried to politely ask them to be considerate and they won’t. That you’ll remember that when they have their baby that they have got to sleep and ask you to be considerate of noises that you’ll be just as considerate as they’re being. Even if they have fertility problems the only thing that will stop them is potentially realising it will impact them in the future. Lack of sleep is the worst!
LJ161@reddit
Sounds rank but record the noiseless for a few nights and then go to the council with the message you sent-all date stamped so that its clear theyre still doing it with the knowledge that you can hear it.
Its exhibitionism. Theyre involving you and your partner in their sex life because knowing you two can hear it is a turn on for them so they wont mind if it gets sent to the council either.
DistinctBuilder8503@reddit
Kick their front door off the hinges and throw a bucket of cold water over them.
SillyStallion@reddit
Join in screaming with them and cheer when they finish. If nothing else it will be off putting and kill the mood. Next day say to them "you finished quickly last night, are you having issues?"
fionsichord@reddit
Omg yes- review them afterwards. There they are, lying post-coitally and resting their throats after all the screaming…then the notification sounds start. The reviews. The ratings. The comparison to previous performances.
It could be fun, and gives you something to do while your partner sleeps through it and you can’t.
sean180792@reddit
Is there a local Facebook group?
It could be a good place to share your reviews. You could accompany reviews with recordings of the noise to facilitate discussion of your reviews (which I hope would include marks out of ten)
nezukobites@reddit
Actually lol at this - review them afterwards 😂😂😂
ChromaticRift@reddit
“Are you having issues?”. OMG I’m dying rn 🤣🤣🤣
amboandy@reddit
Well hello there fellow cunt.
Silly-Feedback168@reddit
Join them?
tinygirlplay@reddit
maybe invest in earplugs?
ljofa@reddit
Change your Wi-Fi router name to ‘we can hear you having sex’.
Derfel60@reddit
Call the police and tell them you think someone is being assaulted in the house
Adept_Professor_2837@reddit
Clearly you just need to have even louder sex until they complain about you.
Technical_Front_8046@reddit
Record it and sell it online……be some weirdo who’d pay for it. Jokes aside. I fear they may be getting off on the thought of you listening to them……how long had this gone on for until you said something? Has it got worse since you’ve mentioned it?
Ultimately I’d advise trying to buy/rent a detached house. I’ve had my share of noisy neighbours over the years (thankfully not this type of noise) and it’s the only way to live in peace.
Brian-Teaser@reddit
Yea. Ask them for more to sell and ask them to proform longer and louder for the streams.
soopastar@reddit
Set your ring doorbell to their noise and put a sign up of who the ringtone is.
Justan0therthrow4way@reddit
Why don’t you have loud sex as well?
Brian-Teaser@reddit
Louder and more often if the only way.
Queasy-Flan2229@reddit
Not really your place
StinkypieTicklebum@reddit
Record it and play it back. Loudly.
Scary_Obligation3174@reddit
Throwaway account.
This is me and my mrs, or more specifically, the mrs. She gets pretty loud and it's every time, any place. No one around, or in our own bed, doesn't matter, so certainly not "performative". I'm the church mouse as well during it.
All of these suggestions wouldnt affect me. In fact if someone was texting notes or whatever I think most people would consider that person to be the perv.
It is what it is mate. I'm sure it would suck but it's just like crying kids on airplanes or elderly people with loud TVs.
One thing though is you had a bit of the same shit attitude they had. "I think it's just plain inconsiderate to know you're someone who has screaming sex and decide to buy a semi-detached aged property". I'm not going to have a worse sex life just cause I cant afford a detatched house.
Hopefully they chill out soon or you can find a solution, but youre unlikely to stop them.
AlanTheBearMcClair@reddit
FFS sometimes I'm embarrassed to be English... seriously how big a problem can this be? A shag can only last so long... just deal with it...
iWasDISSOCIATING@reddit
Funny how you're embarrassed to be English when one of our core values, not disturbing our neighbours, is being violated. No one should be woken up by someone else's noise in the middle of the night, let alone fucking. Anyone who screams like a cheap porn star during sex just has porn-damaged brain, btw. No one needs to sound like that, it's literally giving r/ihavesex. That's embarrassing.
lilphoenixgirl95@reddit
That is sorta their point. Sometimes British values are shit
geriactricsmackdown@reddit
So what you do is record the sound and play it back early in the morning to them.
Swimming_Gas7611@reddit
Sorry to hear it's affecting you that bad, but wow so much hate in the comments for people enjoying life.
They are being twats about it sure but some of these replies are psychotic.
lilphoenixgirl95@reddit
It’s possible to be loud, expressive, noisy, talkative etc. during sex without screaming. Certain things can dampen the noise like moving the headboard away from the wall and putting something between them (foam maybe?), playing white noise or having fans on, or just using a quieter voice whilst still being expressive. The screaming is a odd because I would say I’m very vocal and have never outright screamed.
Brian-Teaser@reddit
Youre fucked..not literally it sounds like.. they have won. If you can't be louder and more often than them you have to move. We shagged till a noughbour moved out. It was fun the more noise they made the more sex we had. At worse times and louder. You pissed them off somehow. We do now also have a 3 year old now who screams in the night so moving might also be easier. They tried to keep up for a couple of weeks but the misses wasn't as keen as mine.
Current_Goal_5855@reddit
Buy a detached house
TheBoneIdler@reddit
Record a few sessions. Then play it back loudly, mixed in with horseracing commentary, when they are trying to sleep. Got to have the classic line: '... ....as they approach the final furlong, its neck and neck. A gallop to the finish.... 🐎'. A little while ago I was out with the dog on our night time walk. It's in the city, so lots of houses, but quiet at night. We turned a corner & plodded on. Half way up the street myself & the dog heard the unmistakable sound of increadibly loud sex. It was SO LOUD. There was a lot of slapping & grunting &, bizarrely, shouting. They were either drunk or high. These are big houses, with large front gardens, so I was stood about say 20 ft away on the pavement. That is a good distance for sound to travel & again it was SO LOUD. I felt I needed to stop & admire the view. Its not often a nighttime walk is so engaging. Pity it doesnt happen more often...... 😉
Extensionun@reddit
play the countdown clock sound through the wall. tick tick tick tick BZZZZZ
Unlikely-Ring7814@reddit
start clapping slowly when they finish. it only needs to happen once.
Heinrick_Veston@reddit
Call the police each time it happens and say that you can hear screaming and are worried for their safety. You don’t have to tell the police who’s calling, you can say it’s an anonymous tip off.
fiery-sparkles@reddit
But her a book called 'it starts with the egg'. Diplomatically hand it to her and mention you recall her telling you about her fertility issues and you'd heard this book has helped many ladies to achieve their goal of having a baby.
Hopefully she will follow it and hopefully be pregnant within a couple of months.
Trust me, the book works 😉
Fantastic-Cell-208@reddit
Call the police, saying you can hear a woman screaming.
The embarrassment would be worth it, otherwise just place speakers and a sub woofer at their wall and play applause when they finish
Sad-Grade6972@reddit
A sound idea! Say "I think my neighbour is being attacked and is in fear of her life"! Police turn up; they'll quickly think on I suspect!
spinners_888@reddit
Ear plugs
Fredfredfred777@reddit
Wait until you know he's not in but she is, then send a text complaining that she's being extremely loud and to please quiet down slightly.
Then sit back with some popcorn.
Lt_Muffintoes@reddit
Speaker against the wall
Teletubies theme tune on loop as soon as they start, ends the second they stop
FunSignificance3034@reddit
If you can't beat them, join them?
Lowermains@reddit
Record it and play it back out of synch.
Play sex noises at silly o’clock, when they have visitors.
M1kbee@reddit
A note saying "Your overly dramatic performances are being posted on the internet" may get them to shut up.
trying3216@reddit
Record them and play it back
DrPixelFace@reddit
This isn't something I'd text about. This is something I'd have a face to face conversation about. They wouldn't be able to dismiss you to your face especially if you are earnest about your concerns.
Planet-thanet@reddit
My old neighbour was a coke head she'd have a new bf every Weds, the old one (from the week before) looking after her kids, she'd spend thurs til Sunday in a cycle of 4 am loud sex, then again when she'd wake up. She was really loud, a talking point with my neighbours. Eventually she got council housed, and I had a friend in the same block and they had her shagging all the time too. She now has a council house and is exactly the same, loads of kids, and a granny.
I had three coke heads/ dealers in a row, due to their very posh landlady, and the above was the second worse
SaysPooh@reddit
Get a really loud recording of an audience applauding and play it every time you hear them
BTZ-25@reddit
I've been on both sides of this story. I shouldn't but it makes me laugh. Some women just can't shut up. I live in a detached house now. Can't deal with the Agro.
-SHXC@reddit
"Politely asked them to keep it down"
Wow.
fionsichord@reddit
That’s proof we don’t have a lost Redditor situation going on here. So utterly British.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Ironically, I'm Irish 😂 My (very English) pregnant neighbor (on the opposite side) said if it was her she'd be banging on their door, but both my partner and I really have an issue with conflict 😭
TipsyPhippsy@reddit
Irish or American... your American English says American lol...
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
Fully Irish! My autocorrect is US English and I've just never bothered to change it haha
TipsyPhippsy@reddit
That would make me feel dirty. It all looks so wrong lol
tea-wallah@reddit
Pretty soon They will have children who will be listening to that. Or they won’t have the energy because children.
blazeofg@reddit
Move now, get out, go.
bunnymama7@reddit
It sounds like they might be trying to make a baby. Don't worry - if they have a baby there will be different screaming noises to contend with
Locksmithbloke@reddit
Send them a ball gag from LoveHoney or something?
beautifuljoemarshall@reddit
Start yelling sex noises back at them that should put them off their stroke. If she speaks to you about it just giggle and say get some ear phones
handsheal@reddit
I always like the record them and play it back at another time
qyburnicus@reddit
This would drive me nuts, I’d be very glad I was renting in this scenario and gtfo of there honestly
imokaytho@reddit
Start moaning loudly
Justwondering2508@reddit
They have being,via text
idek_just_for_fun@reddit
make a post on one of those local area groups about it
Don't name and shame but make it obvious
Dread_queen23@reddit
Omg! Our neighbours have ridiculously loud sex too! Like bed squeaking and banging against the wall. I made the mistake of being upstairs today and there was a lot spanking too! They have children in the house!
I'm too scared to bring it up to them though, I do passive aggressively turn the tv up really loudly though
MrCowabs@reddit
Ask them if you can join in. They’re obviously already putting on enough of a show for you.
GlitteringAdvice8486@reddit
Could you try some sort of brown noise playing on the TV at a volume where you can still go to sleep but it drowns out external sound?
If so, i recommend turning the TV to a darker screen setting also/a timer for it to turn off just whilst you get into a deep sleep.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
We already have a white noise machine, and I fall asleep watching YouTube - there is very little I could do to drown out the extent of the noise that wouldn't put me on the end of a noise complaint to my landlord
GlitteringAdvice8486@reddit
Feel for you as I have similar issues but with music/bass.
If you ever find yourself in your neighbours home... drop an earring down the back of the sofa and a used lipstick under it also 😂.
UnchillBill@reddit
Just bang this out of your stereo on loop. “Do you like my cones?” https://youtu.be/eOQIMOcEVc4
Vertigo_uk123@reddit
Speaker against the wall playing toilet sounds. Should be a turn off unless they are into that.
If it doesn’t stop. Keep up the loud noise when the baby comes. Waking the baby and pissing off the parents. When they complain just say well we asked you to keep it down.
LifeProject365@reddit
Record it and play it back on a speaker through the window
eunderscore@reddit
councils can investigate complaints of statutory nuisance related to noise that occurs any time of the day and night, warning notices can be issued to tenants making noise between the hours of 11pm and 7am, even if that noise is not a statutory nuisance.
warnings to reduce noise during these hours can be issued, and if they continue to make late night or early morning noise, they can be prosecuted by the council.
sex can hypothetically land you in prison.
One woman in Birmingham was given a two-week prison sentence in 2015 for breaching an anti-social behaviour order by having sex so loudly her neighbours complained.
Also it is a criminal offence under section 11 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 for a person over the age of 18 to engage in sexual activity when a person under the age of 16 (child) is present or is in a place from which the sexual activity can be observed, and the defendant knows or believes that the child is aware, or the defendant is intending that the child should be aware, that the defendant is engaging in the sexual activity.
Tell them your niece is visiting for a bit and you're concerned she will be exposed to it, because it's so loud.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
It's 50/50 being after 11 since I know he gets up early for work, I don't think the legal route is particularly viable. Usually it varies between 2200-2330. -- but I will keep my eye on it!! Thanks for that.
At this rate I may have a baby myself -- stops their noise and keeps them awake 😂
captkz@reddit
Play the long game...let them breed, put up with the baby screams for a couple of years, then watch as their relationship slowly descends into seething discontent and pretty soon after, they'll barely be looking at each other, let alone bumping and grinding. Posting this on behalf of a friend.
sawrek@reddit
Temporarily refit your ex-bedroom for use for movie nights / game nights and do some entertain. So your neighbours realise that soundproofing would be mutually beneficial. And having company regularly might lift your mood if you’re feeling a bit low about all this.
Find a company that specialises in soundproofing and get a free quote. Write / speak nicely to your neighbours and suggest you both get work done, and that while the short term benefit might be in your favour, initially they will really appreciate the benefit when they have a newborn and can all can sleep undisturbed. Both sides using the same company should mean you can negotiate a better price.
You’ll need landlord agreement for the work and Depending on your relationship with him/her/them can reasonably expect that you personally contribute a percentage of the costs.
If this all seems like too much hassle for a home you don’t own, begin looking for another place and opt for a fresh start elsewhere. One of the best things about renting is you shouldn’t feel trapped there. Good luck either way 😊
Alive_Forever_9541@reddit
Move. Noise from neighbours isn't something you can simply accommodate. However you feel now will be insignificant compared to the rage you will feel in months time
fionsichord@reddit
Hearing you both laugh and shout weirdly encouraging phrases during and after would have to be off putting, surely.
Either that or text through performance notes after each session. Good moans but the screaming wasn’t as convincing as last Wednesday’s session. Maybe he/she was faking it a bit tonight? Hard to tell. You lasted 90 seconds longer than the previous Thursday though- well done!
Motor-Command-2680@reddit
Ask to join in 🤣
amboandy@reddit
Puts Lada keys in the Bowl
bossanovasupernova@reddit
If that's how loud they are that is how loud they are. It's unreasonable to expect them to change that for you. You need to find your own way to cope with it (earplugs, music, just getting over it) or consider moving.
Fayebie17@reddit
It’s unreasonable to expect them to change a level of screaming that they can hear from non-adjoining rooms? You’ve cracked
bossanovasupernova@reddit
Yes it is. That may just be their natural volume. What solution do you have? It's their own home.
Nice-Agent3109@reddit (OP)
I can hear them from the kitchen which is on a different floor and on the other side of the house .. 😅 so not just non-adjoining rooms...
GlitteringAdvice8486@reddit
Thats the sort of attitude that doesnt solve any problems and allows situations like this to continue/get worse.
Everybody should be considerate.
If they tone it down and the OP still doesnt like it, then your replies valid.
Because they havent and have already been asked politely then its unreasonable that they dont acknowledge they are on the loud side and do anything to help with that.
bossanovasupernova@reddit
It may be something they can't control as much as you believe they can. This may even be the quietest they can manage. We don't know
You can't stop them in any meaningful way other than the kind of petty bullying tactic the op said is usually suggested. So there's nothing to be done but allow them to have sex how they have sex and either cope or leave
Dangermouse0214@reddit
That is such a hilarious take, I can only assume this post is about you and your partner.
Software_Dependent@reddit
Nobody needs to be making screaming noises, it's put on.
humblepaul@reddit
If you can't beat 'em...
Low-Captain1721@reddit
Give them a very loud running commentary. Then when it sounds like they've orgasmed you do a round of applause and shout out "so did he cum"...? Should do the trick 😃😂
DistancePractical239@reddit
Well do it louder back at them when theyve stopped.
AvadaBalaclava@reddit
If you are renting, move. Not worth the hassle
GroupApprehensive978@reddit
Go with them if you're boyfriend can match. Sync snagging. See who lasts longest.
breadandbutter123456@reddit
You should join in.
Offer encouragement.
Harder! Keep going son! Nearly there! Ohhhhhh! Wrong hole! Stick it up her arse! Is Harry on the boat? Slllllaaag! Is it in yet??
Mutually enjoy yourselves from your side of the wall. You could make it into some kind of competition. Who can cut the loudest.
Few_House_5201@reddit
Not really no.
You could try legal advice UK group but I don’t know of any feasible options here.
rolotonight@reddit
L O L
AutoModerator@reddit
Please help keep AskUK welcoming!
When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.