My children are older teenagers and I’m so sad | TheaterFire

My children are older teenagers and I’m so sad

Posted by mimoses250@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 419 comments

Is anyone else feeling the sadness of your kids growing up? I hear that when they are born there’s a tiny thread holding you to them, and as they get older the thread gets longer.
Being a parent has been such an honour. I love them and it’s hard to let them go 😢

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Strange-Win-3551@reddit

I have a 20 year old and 15 year old both in school and still at home. We live in a place with insanely expensive housing, so I’ve always been clear that they can stay as long as they want. My oldest moved across the country 3 years ago and I miss her terribly. I go visit her a couple of times a year, and she comes home to visit just as often, but only seeing her every few months is really hard.

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fowl_territory@reddit

I'm an older GenX, and started younger, so all three of my girls are adults now (29, 31 & 35). I remember feeling that way when they started spreading their wings, but wow I love the adults they've turned into, and my favorite thing is to do is meet up and explore the world with them!

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jewelsforjules@reddit

Such a fantastic picture! This is my goal as mine get older. To still travel with them on occasion would be so special, to still see the world through their eyes. Mine are becoming amazing adults.

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fowl_territory@reddit

My oldest an I started trying to visit all of the MLB ballparks back when she was twelve. This has turned into a good project to build trips around. The pic above was at Niagara Falls that we visited a couple of weeks ago when we all met up in Toronto for Blue Jays game. Last summer I met up with my middle and oldest in Detroit for a Tigers game. The summer before that we were all supposed to meet in San Fran for the A's & Giants, but covid knocked my wife and I out, but the three girls still met up and had a blast.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

So awesome to hear ❤️

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secrerofficeninja@reddit

My oldest moved 6-7 hour drive from me and the middle kid recently moved across the country for a job. Only have our youngest and she’s going to college then who knows where. It is sad.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Distance is tough I bet. I hope mine don’t go too far. But I also hope they go as far as they can in life….

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secrerofficeninja@reddit

Yup, they graduated college and found jobs and lives in other states. Now the 3rd and final kid is about to go off to college. I guess I need an RV and I’ll just drive to each kid

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Taranchulla@reddit

Mine is 24 now and hasn’t lived at home since she was 17. I miss her a ton, and I sometimes get melancholic about the old days, but the freedom my husband and I have now is pretty great. My daughter is such a blast, I love spending time with her, and now that she’s an adult we have even more fun.

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jewelsforjules@reddit

I have one in college and the other is about to graduate HS. The transition from parent of a child to parent of an adult is bittersweet. I love seeing who they are becoming but I miss my littles too.

Learning to let them go and allow them to fly free is hard too. I have tried to step back from my oldest in the sense that he is making his decisions and I am here for guidance/support/advice only as he requests. I'll have to learn to.do the same with my daughter.

And having a house go from full of life to more and more silence is so strange. As mom's we wrap our lives around our kids (not saying dad's don't - speaking only from my POV). I have had to relearn what I enjoy and pick up old hobbies or find new ones. Just like becoming new parents is a transition becoming parents to adults is too.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes, me too. It’s a transition for us as well as them. I’m so good at putting my family first. Now that I have less “work” parenting, I’m forced to focus on myself 🫠

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jewelsforjules@reddit

It really is a transition! Their is grief for losing a time in our lives with kids at home but also excitement for the possibilities for finding ourselves again and moving into a new phase of lives with our adult kids.

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Ok-Cap-204@reddit

I enjoy my kids so much more now that they are adults. And grandkids are better than kids, because you can always give them back.

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JustAGreenDreamer@reddit

I’m definitely feeling this, OP. I try to live in the moment, but it seems like with every band concert or track meet or baseball game, I’m mentally calculating how many more will I have, and then being sad about how few are left.

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Honeybee3674@reddit

I do miss their younger versions, even as I enjoy them becoming young adults. I have 4 boys, and it's hitting me harder now that my youngest is 15. My kids are even still all in the house (oldest two are saving money by going to local colleges), but I miss their younger selves.

I do still really enjoy them, but the nostalgia hits hard. Also, my husband is really involved with the youngest two activities, as a Scout troop leader and a robotics mentor. I keep up with what's important to them, but it's just not the same level of involvement, and at times I feel envious of his relationship with them, and then I feel guilty for feeling that way.

My husband and I often do things together and enjoy the freedom to go out on the spur of the moment, and have done week long vacations alone the past few years, while adult kids are taking care of things at home, which is wonderful.

But I really need to find some kind of activity or social circle of my own for when they're all busy. I was quite ill during the pandemic, some friends moved away, etc. and my previous social circles have evaporated. When I started recovering, getting back a job/career was my focus, and where the energy went (after kids/husband). So now I have some time again (well, when I am not overworked due to crazy deadlines at work), and find myself at loose ends.

It's easy to get lost in remembering and mourning the past, so I am trying to look ahead. Haven't figured out what action that entails for me, yet. I looked into volunteering, but after one intro meeting, got sucked back into my work schedule. I work with great people, but remote, so everyone is scattered geographically. It's not conducive to making friends.

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punktualPorcupine@reddit

I love the adult my daughter has become. She is awesome and fearless.

I love hanging out with her when we get the chance, she’s funny, creative, and I’m glad that we can all talk like adults.

Having a beer and a dumb rambling conversation with my kid like they’re an old friend, is the best. Plus she leaves and doesn’t eat nearly as much of my food as she used to.

She was really worried she would get lonely and hate living on her own but so far she’s loving it.

My wife and I love the space and freedom again.

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PrinceFan72@reddit

This, I've really enjoyed seeing my daughters grow into amazing young women who have drive and ambitions of their own. I get to feel a bit smug that I helped with that.

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devadog@reddit

It’s a form of pure sadness. I miss the evening walks with the dog and him and listening to him talk about the world and his ideas. I miss the laughter and jokes and even the messes and empty cereal boxes left in the pantry. I miss the sounds of his friends outside or upstairs laughing or talking or making plans for their lives. I miss everything.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Those are lovely memories ❤️

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devadog@reddit

Yes thanks for posting. You’re not alone! It’s hard

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SackBadger2024@reddit

I aint lettin go. They may be grown, but they are my babies, and when I hug them now I still remember holding them as if they were made of glass coming home from the hospital.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yeah. The momma bear that was born when they were is still here and she’s not going anywhere!

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MotherOf4Jedi1Sith@reddit

My baby just turned 17. He's my youngest of 5 and the last one who hasn't reached adulthood, yet. I have very mixed feelings about him growing up.

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Helpful_Link1383@reddit

You will be renewed when the grands come.... don't fall down the trap of having more now.... it's difficult at times....just wait....😁

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh heck no!! My sister has little ones so I can cuddle them, but definitely do not have the stamina any more!

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AbjectWillingness730@reddit

Both my boys are raised and grown. But yea, best work Ive ever done.
You will find a new path OP , but like I told my son the other day, “I don’t care how old you are Im still your Mother and I want to know what is going on with him.”
It will be different but the Love is still there, that will never change.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

❤️

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PrincessWarriorWish@reddit

You made me cry.

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LesPolsfuss@reddit

I got a 12 year-old. if you have older kids and could go back in time what would you’ve done differently during this age?

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Put my phone down and listen. One of my guys loved to talk but I would get tired. Now I get so excited when he want to chat ☺️

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PompousClock@reddit

This is something that we do, not something we screwed up. Every weekend morning that we can, we let our teen sleep in, and then gently wake them. There are often pauses with snuggles, and cozying up with mugs of coffee and gentle conversation to start these days. Our teen is super busy and rushes to perform volunteer work at a food pantry and then work out at the dojo every Saturday morning, so this ritual is reserved for Sundays. It has kept us connected, and reinforced that not every day needs to start with alarms and rising around. She’s graduating and moving away for college, so I am counting down these last few Sundays that we have and treasuring each one.

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ecachuh1@reddit

Spend more quality time with them. Do things that they want to do.

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Maleficent_Pay_4154@reddit

You make me feel old, mine are in their thirties! It’s different but I have great relationships with them both so no

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’m at the tale end of Gen X. So great to hear from the older members thy it gets easier ❤️

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egarcia74@reddit

I can absolutely agree with this. Mine are in their early 20’s now. I get my oxytocin fix from my dog now.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Thank God for the Dog!!

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Vebran@reddit

Dog being like

gif

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Vebran@reddit

gif

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Hopinan@reddit

You spend their teenage years thinking ‘Please dont get pregnant or get anyone else pregnant … Then the get to be about 30 and you start thinking “please get pregnant “!!

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

🤣

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Affectionate-Leg-260@reddit

My son is 20 and he calls me about funny things he’s seen and other nonsense. I value these calls more than anything.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Love this 🥰

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MercuryTattedRachael@reddit

22 almost 23 yo son, 17 almost 18 yo twin girls.

I'm ready! Yes, hubby and I get tearful about the impending HS graduation this month for the twins, but I'm so ready to have more time for us.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I told a twin mom the other day how I’m sad about my kids growing up. She said you won’t hear that from parents of twins!!

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SorchaRoisin@reddit

Dogs and cats are kids who never grow up.. time to bring a new baby into the house!

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Haha! For sure! We have two dogs and they are my babies. Great cuddlers! I’m happy I have the dogs so I don’t smother the teenagers 🤪

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Im_not_good_at_names@reddit

It’s the biggest struggle I have in life. My oldest son is 19 and my youngest is 17. Their mother and I split up last June after 28 years. Not seeing them everyday has been the most difficult part. They are at that age where they don’t hang out with either one of us and are off doing their own thing. Believe me, I remember what it was like at that age, but it doesn’t mean I like being in this side of it.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That sounds like a tough transition. Big hugs.

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Im_not_good_at_names@reddit

Thank you I appreciate that. When they were little, I used to think, man I can’t wait until they are about 10, we’ll be able to do so much cool stuff. They both played travel hockey and I would think, man I can’t wait until they are playing in high school. When they got to high school I started to panic because I realized how fast it was going. Watching my oldest son’s last game had to be the most heartbreaking thing sports wise, I’ve ever experienced. I was manning the penalty box, and when the game had about a minute left, I heard the coach say, Seniors on the ice, I could help it, I just started balling like a baby.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

🥹 I am similar. I couldn’t wait for it to get easier. Although I remember being at the rink one day. I dropped off one and was going to drive the other one somewhere else. So freaking busy. Then I had a lightbulb moment, “what else am I going to be doing? This is it”. I’m glad I had that thought. It helped me power through the tough stuff and enjoy what I could ❤️

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stonetowned@reddit

22, 20, 17 and 15 so still have a few years of joy in the house. The family WhatsApp group is a lifeline, never stop having fun, sharing photos and playing games.

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buttfirstcoffee@reddit

It still is an honour. You’ll always be their parent

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DcubedWY@reddit

Both mine are out, one has finished her master’s degrees and is working way out on the east coast, the other is married and also living in a different state, though much closer. I was able to homeschool them and that was wonderful, so much less stress for us than when they were in school. I loved them being babies and toddlers and also when we started homeschooling. I’m glad they both are doing well and living their own lives, that makes me feel that I accomplished my goal for them.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Sounds like you sure did!!

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DcubedWY@reddit

I really miss them being small and spending all day with them, but try and focus on the positives. That might help you, too. I think my mom still misses me being small, so that doesn’t go away. But she’s glad I made my own life. Your mom is probably the same.

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Optimal_Mango_747@reddit

I have a few more years with my youngest for sure and my oldest is sticking around to do a trade program after graduation this month. I feel very lucky that I get more time with my kids under my roof because I really like them as people.

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elliepelly1@reddit

Exactly my situation too. I love it.

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Sha-boingBoing203@reddit

I have a 10yo daughter and a 16yo son. My daughter is still giving me what I need in terms of that young innocence and girl dad life, but it’s bitter sweet watching my son turn into the young man he’s become. He’s driving and up late at night on the phone with his girlfriend, and all I long for is that little boy asking me to watch Bubble Guppies and cuddle in bed with him. I’m gonna be a mess when my daughter is too cool to cuddle with dad.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I cuddle my little guy to sleep until he was 11 or 12. He was still asking but I said no. Kinda wish I had done it a little longer.

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Sha-boingBoing203@reddit

Sent ya a DM

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Desperate_Gold6670@reddit

This! Mine's sixteen and likely moving on in a couple of years, and I'm terrified. While I'm her Dad, she's also probably my closest friend. I'm doing absolutely everything to shut up and let her grow up and out, but yeah, I sure do miss the days of reading her stories to put her to sleep and singing gently The Ramones "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker" while walking grooves into the carpet to get her to stop crying when she was a baby.

Someone told me something heartbreaking the other day that rings true - you will never know the last time that you snuggle your child to sleep at night. One random day it's over, and there's no turning back. I tell parents of young ones this as often as I can.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I know. I annoy parents of young children letting the know how sad it is over here 🤪

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Solid-Wish-1724@reddit

Absolutely. My only child will be studying abroad for a month soon and the thought of them being so far away that long is scary practice for the future, I guess. They want to drive soon, and said we'll never see them once they get their license (kind of a joke I hope, we get on pretty well overall). On the flip side, my friend said she expected to be in tears every day with her kid off to college, but found it not too bad a transition.

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Icy_Meat_4050@reddit

My only is a college freshman who I sent off on a flight to Spain last night so I understand. She was on phone with me at her layover airport for a very long time - sometimes it got quiet and I knew I was just there for peace of mind. I’m a single mom so her going to college has been very very difficult. She’s only about an hour away and she asks me to come see her in performances or visit every week even though she has a lot of friends. She had offers from out of state universities but so glad that she chose the one nearest to home. It’s been convenient.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That nice she’s just an hour away ❤️

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s nice you get a little practice moth before the real deal! And good to hear your friends experience was different that she thought it would be.

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AKABrokenArrow@reddit

My son is getting his license next month. I remember how I was when I got my license. Gone!

But yeah, I try not to think about it for too long but I can relate.

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SignalResolution35@reddit

I raised my 2 to be independent. My daughter left home to study at 18 and then met someone so was away 7/8 years. My son was offered a job overseas and has been away since 2019. I am super proud of them both. My son and I have scheduled calls twice a week and i see my daughter for dinner once or twice a month plus phone calls.

I don’t feel sad at all. I feel proud of a job well done and am very happy that they are carving their own paths in life.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Great job ☺️

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Psychiatricnurseprac@reddit

I feel like I mourn daily. I miss them being my little boys and the thought of them leaving home devastates me. I miss cuddling on the couch watching “toons”. Now I can’t even get them to watch a movie with me. I love them so much it hurts.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Same ❤️

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JenniferJuniper6@reddit

My kid is 31 and recently moved to Japan. From New Jersey. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Too far!! But a fun visit??

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ecachuh1@reddit

I have only one child. He left home 7 years ago to join the Army. About a month ago he and his wife finally moved back home. They are staying with us and they just bought a house. I can't believe 7 years has gone by. I thought I was going to die when he left. I missed a lot of time with him, but now that he's back he hasn't changed a bit and I'm glad for that. He came back smarter, more mature etc, but he's still that same sweet polite boy that I raised. Sad tears to happy tears. 🥺 🥰

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rivenshire@reddit

I love this thread because in an age where parenthood is scorned by many, it shows what a beautiful and irreplaceable gift it is 🙏🏻

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I feel the same ❤️❤️

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Initial-Succotash-37@reddit

My 3 left the nest and I was devastated. They were my world for so long. But now im used to it and getting my own life.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

How long did it take? Did you find a new hobby?

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Ok-Lawfulness-6820@reddit

As they become older more independent teens, they will drift away a bit as they try to find their way in the world. If you were and continue to be a loving and supportive parent, they will drift back towards you. My sons are 22 and 24 now and I absolutely love our adult to adult relationship. Keep helping them become independent and self sufficient, and that will keep them bonded to you. That’s been my experience anyway.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s so great to hear. Thank you for the advice ❤️

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Jenshark86@reddit

My son is 29 this year. It’s hard to believe some days.

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jdsgram72@reddit

My youngest turns 18 on Sunday. I get it completely

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Mcweenek@reddit

There is a phrase I heard once that resonates this thought. Once your children don't need you for food, clothing, water, housing..... ALL you're left with is the relationship you did or did not cultivate in that time.

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LesPolsfuss@reddit

sorry, I’m a little slow, “that time” is when they did depend on you so basically when they were kids, is that right?

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

So simple and so true.

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Seventy7Nibbz@reddit

This is absolutely spot on.

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13scribes@reddit

Gen X here. The last one leaves the nest this year. I figure i will be melancholy for awhile and then adapt to a new normal.

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Goukisgirl916@reddit

I have one about to graduate HS this June and one entering HS in the fall. I have so many mixed feelings knowing in four years I'll have adult children. It went too fast....

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ImmediateCan4099@reddit

I hate it. I never thought these days would come. It felt like they were little forever and then suddenly it has come to a halting end. I knew consciously that it would happen someday, but it always felt like it was so far off. And I never thought I’d ever be 50 years old.

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geddylee1@reddit

+1

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

SAME.

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geddylee1@reddit

I am currently grieving for and going through the mourning process over the loss of my little boy. He’s still great at almost 14 but it definitely isn’t the same! I miss that time in our lives and I guess I will just miss +1

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MishmoshMishmosh@reddit

Holding on tight and letting go at the same time is HARD

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EVILtheCATT@reddit

I’ve already replied but the way you said it is exactly how I feel.💔

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MartinBlank96@reddit

If I let myself reminisce too much I can get really sad because i miss those little kids and their joy and innocence and silliness, not a care in the world. But the sting of not having them around is lessened by seeing what absolutely amazing adults they've become, and are still becoming.

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Newyew22@reddit

Yes, absolutely. I’m a girl dad, and while I’m thrilled to be having my teenager spread her wings, the idea of her going to college and moving out makes me tear up every time I think about it. It all went so fast, and while I know it’s time, I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

The days are long and the years are short. Bah! They were right.

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spinaz@reddit

25 and 21 here. It’s been a joy watching them grow, at the same time I get so sad knowing they “need” me less and less. I cherish when they spend time with me now, I want to savor it.

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Past-Student-5239@reddit

It means you have done your job correctly. It is an accomplishment in which to feel pride. Their independence is happening because of the love and guidance you provided to them.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

❤️

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2000TWLV@reddit

I'd rewind and do it all over again in a heartbeat. They're that great.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Me too. I drove by an elementary school in an area I was fantasizing about living in. I thought, “and then the kids can go to school here” and I was like “?”. Nope. That’s over don’t need to plan with schools in mind anymore 😢

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WTFisThisMaaaan@reddit

I’m 50 with a two year-old son. And for the first year and a half or so to all of my friends who had grown kids that was so tired and frustrated. But now that he’s becoming a little bit more independent, I’m really starting to love hanging out with him, and seeing all these comments is reminding me to cherish at all.

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Nick2569@reddit

I agree

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EVILtheCATT@reddit

THIS IS EXACTLY ME!

None of my friends or husband get it. Glad to see I’m not alone. We’ll get through this, OP. Let’s just take comfort in the fact that the memories of their childhood will always be ours to cherish and that can never be changed. When I get especially sad, I remind myself to have gratitude that I was blessed with them at all:)

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

We are definitely not alone! And I think it’s kinda beautiful. My parents were eager for me to leave. Our kiddos are very loved 🥰

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EVILtheCATT@reddit

I was out the door one week after my 18th birthday so I feel ya. Our kiddos are very loved as well! It’s nice to be the parents we’ve always wanted to have, isn’t it?

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X-Bones_21@reddit

I wanted to have children and I never did, so I am the saddest. 😞

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’m so sorry to hear that. That has got to be hard ❤️ My aunt wasn’t able to have children, but she sure made a huge impact on my life. We only talked 3-4 times a year, but she is such a loving wonderful cheerleader. She helps me believe in myself. I hope you can have that kind of impact on a young person in your life ❤️

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Viva_La_Revolucion-@reddit

Some of us never had or wanted kids and it was the best decision they ever made.

Dont regret it, embrace it... Society and the planet does not need more people!

Love yourself love a cat or whatever but making other people is not what being alive is about, 8 billion people is unsustainable to the earth and all its other species who live in balance with nature we do not live in balance

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teesepowellm@reddit

Trust, some of us regret it. It's not always, better across the street.

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Charming-Insurance@reddit

Hugs

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redladybug1@reddit

Yes, my only child is going to graduate from high school this month. He’s going away to college, which is what I want for him, but I am SO EMOTIONAL. I never thought I would feel this way. Years after k graduated from college, mom told me she’d walk by my empty room in her house once I went to live in the dorms and would sometimes cry. I didn’t understand why she did this until now…

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Awe ❤️ how did it feel to hear her say that? My parents weren’t like that. I feel like it would have been nice to know I was missed.

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AZJHawk@reddit

I absolutely love them as young adults. It’s the best. My oldest just got done with his freshman year in college and he’s a fully formed adult. The other two aren’t far behind. It’s been so rewarding.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s so great to hear ❤️

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Infinite-Hearing2629@reddit

I have 4, ages 28, 26, 25, and 23. My husband and I started having kids in high school. (If any high schoolers, or anyone under 25 reads this, I DO NOT recommend it!)

Now that we're in our 40s, we love on a sailboat and are truly enjoying our lives and each other. Was I sad at first? Absolutely. Did I get over it when my kids were all doing well (in this economy, that's incredible!)? Absolutely.

Its inevitable. The world doesn't stop turning, and so we must all be ready for the inevitable passage of time. hugs I promise it gets easier.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Sounds like you two have made some awesome plans! This thread has been a good reminder that there is still a lot of life left after they leave! Lots of adventures to be had ☺️

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Datamackirk@reddit

If you love on sailboat you may end up starting a second family.

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Infinite-Hearing2629@reddit

Fucking typos, lol

gif

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Oblioscend@reddit

Yes I miss when I would walk down the street and son would grab my hand to feel safe, now he has air pods in grunts replies and gets annoyed if you ask him to repeat.

My wife took a pic when he was younger when I was sleeping off a seizure and he was 2/3 and came upstairs and cuddled up to me.

He’s still a good kid though and now I look forward to him doing well I hope. That’s all we can do as parents now and be there when things don’t go as planned

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Holding our hands 🥹 I have heard the teenage phase will end. My grunter is a bit less so now than he was 2 years ago!

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Winter-Macaroon-4296@reddit

I didn't have my one and done until I was 39. He is learning to drive. Part of me can't wait to be free of being a mom Uber and the other part will miss the drives. Some of our best conversations happen during the after school pickup rides home.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes! I have found the car the best place to have conversations since they became teenagers!

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Live_Today1943@reddit

I’m so sad for people who can’t wait for their kids to get out. I would live in the same house as my kids forever if they wanted. So far one moved away for college and I hate it.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I grew up in a house where my mom was “done parenting”. I feel quite the opposite. I’d happily build a massive home on a huge property for all of us to live in, if I could 🤪

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geddylee1@reddit

I am currently grieving for and going through the mourning process over the loss of my little boy. He’s still great at almost 14 but it definitely isn’t the same! I miss that time in our lives and I guess I will just miss it until I die now.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes, when they get to become teenagers and start to turn away, it hurts. Like someone said above, the longest break up. I really feel like us being sad, just shows the depth of our love ❤️

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sfdsquid@reddit

Mine is 22 now.

This is pretty selfish and possibly weird, but I kind of enjoyed COVID because of the "bonus" time I got to spend with her when she should have been off with her friends at age 17.

We did a lot of joyriding, blasting her music, during that time - I was a poor substitute for her friends I know but she enjoyed it nevertheless. We made the best of a shitty situation.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

You are awesome! Sometimes great experiences are born from tough circumstances. I love that you had that time ❤️

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GenTrancePlants@reddit

My last son will leave the house in a month. I know that our mission as parents is to raise them so they can fly by their own wings… but i feel sad nonetheless. It was a wonderful time being together, we got along so well, all of us. They are great kids. I just love being a mom. I will miss having them around. Really. 😕

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes, this is how I feel too. It has been such a special time. It felt crazy and hectic and now it’s coming to an end and I realize I love the crazy hectic mess of it all.

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justusleag@reddit

Yup, my version of heaven will be with them as toddlers again.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’d love to snuggle their little versions again!

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mtcrick@reddit

I have loved every stage of my kids' lives, except maybe that 17/18 time period. I love how they've grown and changed and are succeeding. They are 28 and 30 now and have been living on their own for several years now. I still get "mom, how do I...?" calls on a fairly regular basis, which always make me smile.

But I'm not sad for the younger kids years at all. I'm super happy that we are empty nesters.

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Intelligent-Mine-868@reddit

Let them go?! With the state of the economy and unemployment for graduates rising I’m not sure they’ll ever leave! 😂

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Haha! It’s true!

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Andyman1973@reddit

Not till my eldest daughter announced her wedding this fall, right after her 25th birthday. Then I felt all them feels.

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roxywalker@reddit

Mine are 19 and 21 and this Mother’s Day they will be away traveling together. They planned a trip without realizing it would fall on Mother’s Day (they couldn’t change non-fundable airline tickets) and they felt bad when they foolishly realized they had missed that when planning. That was goofy of them, but, they are old enough to buy plane tickets, plan a trip, and, travel without me, lol. We are celebrating before they leave but I will probably be misty-eyed without them this Sunday.

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Itchy-Zucchini-7670@reddit

20 and 15 here. I feel like they're both pretty mature (considering the world they're in anyway) and having conversations with them is wonderful. I love my kids.

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WhereItsAt75@reddit

Being the youngest of 4 and having 2 of my own, I look at my youngest being in high school and think of my mom. When I was the only one left in school and then graduating I know how she felt but she didnt really express it to me in a sad kind of way.

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EstimateAgitated224@reddit

It is sad, when you realize that they had sat in your lap or held your hand for the last time. But when they become their own people and start making decisions for themselves and manage their own life, that is also pretty amazing. When I saw they are good people, (still some times make dumb choices, but that's how they learn) with a decent head on their shoulders, not afraid of hard work it makes me super proud.

Also there is something to be said about finding yourself again.

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-no-fucks-given@reddit

I really don't know how I'm gonna be able to handle it when it happens to me. I had my son late, he's 9, but I think about it an unhealthy amount. I'm a single momma 50% of the time. I tried so hard to ensure that he would grow up with both parents in the same home but much to my avail his dad called it quits with me a couple of months before he turned 2 and now we have 50/50. So I'm already missing out on half of his childhood. I don't have any family or friends here, just my boy. I chose to stay here close to his dad because he's a great father and his dad's entire family is here (grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) while my family is scattered everywhere. So it's just me. And I never knew the kind of love I have for my son in my entire life. So yeah, I think about the impact it will have when he starts his own life all the time. And I treasure every single moment that I have with him!

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RCA2CE@reddit

It gets worse.

My two kids are adults, graduate degrees and out in the workforce. They moved away to their respective big cities.. there are no grandkids on deck, doesn't look like its in the cards and neither kid seems particularly interested in taking over our properties.

We didn't have this one house that was our "family house", we moved around and there's not this connection to anywhere. My wife and I dig our places but they don't.. so we will liquidate our real estate and do something very practical.

Love the kids, wish they were more interested in working with us on long term estate planning but they're self sufficient and I guess I did a good job of giving them an IDGAF attitude.

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kittyshakedown@reddit

I have an older teenager that will be leaving home next year. I never lived in my parent’s house again after I left for college.

It makes me blue that that part of my life is almost over. It went soooo fast.

But then I remember I still have a 12 yo at home and I’m all good.

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AbjectBeat837@reddit

I have one graduating college and another graduating high school. I know the feeling.

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ExcellentOriginal321@reddit

It IS hard. My youngest just his DL. I’ve loved raising them.

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simsjunkiegamer@reddit

My oldest will be 40! this year. I still remember when my water broke in high school. My oldest grandson just turned 19. My how time flies, especially after 30!

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theghostofcslewis@reddit

We are 53/51. Our oldest (33) lives near us so we see him often, our youngest (20) still lives at home, but our 25 year old moved to Germany in January and we miss him horribly. It’s less about them growing up, and more about them moving away for us.

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common_sense_canada@reddit

I get moments where I'd give everything up to be with them for a day when they were much younger, but I'm certainly proof who they've become.

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Hot-Freedom-5886@reddit

It was always the job…to see them through childhood and adolescence. We had 18 years to form them. I’m happy with the people they’ve become.

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Automatic-Nature6025@reddit

I don't really feel sad about it, except that my son is already starting to care less about my approval, when I comes to certain things, and that hurts a little bit.

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Substantial-Spare501@reddit

Yes. I found it got worse during my older one’s senior year of high school. She is now finishing up her junior year of college and is home for a few days. We had a blast over her winter and spring breaks skiing and hanging out.

My younger one is now a senior in HS and graduating in 12 days. She has been much more independent; traveled to Taiwan when she was 16 to study Mandarin, spent the following summer taking classes in DC, will do a language immersion program this summer and then off to the UK for school.

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misagale@reddit

My kids are 32 and 25 and I still feel lost everyday. Wish I could tell it gets better, but it hasn’t for me 💔

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Vebran@reddit

gif

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Status_Arrival2068@reddit

I managed to get a little of the magic back. On Mother’s Day I insist on a homemade card. I don’t need presents but a homemade card brings back such lovely memories for me.

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dgrantuk@reddit

I just tell myself that I was lucky to have had the journey, it was amazing with no regrets, loads of pictures and videos to celebrate rather than commiserate. It's just a different way of thinking really.

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Mattmann1972@reddit

I'm absolutely over the moon about our first Grandson!

There's so much that I'm getting now vs when I raise our boy.

I'm not in full blow panic mode like I was back then, and so much more mature now vs my 20's....or at least I can fake it better lol

Don't worry Gen xers. Hopefully all those empty nest feelings will disappear when the next stage hits.

I was told once that we are now the freshman class of getting old. I really liked that saying.

There's a lot we are all going to experience for the first time. Be excited that we all get to be new at something in life again.

Also got diagnosed with Leukemia (don't worry I'm not going anywhere anytime soon) so I am really trying to focus on important shit right now.

Grandkids, Family, and my wonderful wife....

Standard Powder Day Clause enforced during ski season of course.

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Hellvira138@reddit

gif

Me. Every chance I get. They are Al adults.

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babs82222@reddit

Smother! Love this!

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GoldaV123@reddit

I have a 15 year old son and I consider myself so lucky that he has the interests of an old man (he plays guitar and collects old records) because I never expected to have this wonderful buddy who wants to go to thrift stores with me and look for old books and records! 🤘🤩🤘

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manjar@reddit

Same, thanks for sharing!

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actuallyno60@reddit

I'll be 61 this summer. Last month, my kids turned 37 and 35.

The part getting to me is my granddaughter starting middle school next year.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Holy cow!! I’m so excited for grandkids 🤦‍♀️

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rivenshire@reddit

Same! 💓

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dis690640450cc@reddit

My wife is very close to her family before we moved out of state she would visit them at least once a week. I see my parents about once a year and talk to them on holidays and family birthdays. I feel much closer to my kids than I ever did to my parents. My daughter is just about to graduate from high school and she is on a college and it looks unlikely that she will be able to stay local for school. My son who is younger is very close to her and I worried how he and I will deal with her not being here. Her mom seems like she is ready for both kids to be out of the house. Seems funny how funny to me how our relationship to parents is the opposite of what it is to our kids. So I get what you’re saying.

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butterflygardyn@reddit

If you do a good job, you get to be friends with your adult kids. The relationship changes but it doesn't stop.

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rivenshire@reddit

This right here.

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MagnumPIsMoustache@reddit

Mine is a tween and I’m feeling it

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Rere9419@reddit

It was so hard when my son went to college. But I was so proud of the man he turned out to be.

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Windizzle8@reddit

Yes!! Going through this as we speak. I have a 16 year old daughter with her drivers license.

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Equal-Sea-300@reddit

I miss my kids even though I live with them. That’s how it feels sometimes. They’re 16 & 18 and I miss the days when they were kids SO much. I know I’ll get there eventually but I struggle with the fact that those parenting years are over. I’m proud of them and see how they are becoming more and more independent and discovering who they are (completely independent from mom & dad) with each passing day. That’s the goal, I remind myself constantly.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I feel similar. My little guy used to be such a chatter box. Now I get so excited when he wants to chat ❤️

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Adorable-Strategy767@reddit

My youngest left home last month. I’ve been raising kids since I was 18…. Thirty four years, six kids….now what??

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

So…….much……..time…….

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ofthrees@reddit

i remember being so excited for my son's birthdays. then he turned 16, and the five birthdays he had after that were always stained by a bit of wistfulness.

now he's 32 and has his own life (and kid), and i'm used to it, but the sadness surrounding his late teen years was definitely a thing for me.

it was less, for me, about "losing him" and more about worrying "have i prepared him well?"

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I feel this. I really hope I did a good job and they have what they need.

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ltd0977-0272-0170@reddit

Just went in a gave my 14 year old man sized child a hug goodnight. This sucks. Remember and cherish every minute. It goes so fast. He is such a good kid and we spend so much time together. That will change when he gets his license.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Hug em whenever you can ❤️

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Commercial-Border227@reddit

I’ve been divorced for 4 years, my kids are adults, I had a hysterectomy in February, and I recently started dating a man who’s about a decade younger than me - I couldn’t be happier unless I hit the Powerball!

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EVILtheCATT@reddit

Damn, girl! Get it!

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GroundbreakingRip970@reddit

Now that mine are college age, I think they are so much fun! I love getting together and hearing their thoughts and ideas. There’s a lot of laughter. Being able to have drinks on a patio with your kids is just cool!

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AZJHawk@reddit

Yeah we’re almost there and I can see how great it’s going to be. My kids are smart, funny, caring teenagers, well on their way to being great adults. The little kid age had its moments, but this has been my favorite stage as a parent.

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deadbeef4@reddit

Our son is almost 22 and just finished university. Our daughter is 17 and almost done grade 11!

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Willing_Freedom_1067@reddit

I still have a little bit to go, as my daughter will be 11 this month. We’re hitting the angsty preteen years now, though, and if she’s anything like I had been I’ll be bald in a month from pulling my hair out. 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

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ku_78@reddit

I joke my kids are now just grandchildren delivery systems now. #4 coming soon.

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JackWylder@reddit

Your children will always be your children. The sadness is certainly understandable, as they’ll be going out into the world without you, but always be your kids

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Doc-Milsap@reddit

Always. I think of that scene from Father Of The Bride with Steve Martin when his daughter tells him she’s getting married and he pictured her as this little girl. They’re always little kids in our eyes, and we continue to grow with them.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Ha! I remember that scene! That’s it!

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Doc-Milsap@reddit

It’s heartbreaking!

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Fantastic_Golf_7154@reddit

Mine are 34 and 30. I now have 5 grandchildren. I love every minute of it

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itsmyvoice@reddit

Heh. I'm so looking forward to being an empty nester. Four more years... Four more years.

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VerbosePlantain@reddit

My kids are 12 and 9 (almost 10).

In 2007, I spent 15 months in Baghdad with the 1st Infantry Division, and that resulted in severe PTSD.

I’m just now coming out of the PTSD fog and being able to feel things. And as I have come out of the fog, I realize just how much I have missed. Not because I wasn’t there … I was. But because I wasn’t emotionally available and present.

And now as I’m starting to feel again, I’m just overcome by sadness and grief for how much I missed.

I try to tell myself that I did the best I could. And my PTSD is still severe and life changing, but I am starting to feel again, even if it is just about my kids. I don’t feel anything else.

But I am so sad because of all the years where I wasn’t able to feel things that I’m feeling now. Honestly, it is overwhelming.

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Mammoth_Sell5185@reddit

Hey man, I’m so sorry about what you went through. But I do want you to know that there are plenty of parents who are equally unavailable for their kids and didn’t serve. There is time to make up for it. When your kids are grown and you can sit at like, brunch together and talk about this, they’ll be able to say Dad, you did great and once you came out of the fog, it was even better. Try not to spend too much time regretting what you’ve lost and just be there for them and for yourself.

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VerbosePlantain@reddit

Thanks, man. Just very aware of time now.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That must be so hard. I’m so glad to hear you are coming out of it. Your awareness and want to make up for time lost is everything. You can do it. And seeing you recover from this will be a huge positive example for your kids. Big hugs.

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VerbosePlantain@reddit

Thank you. I just got done watching a YouTube video with my youngest. We were just cuddled up in the couch together, and then I tucked her in. There is nothing I want more than to have those moments.

I appreciate your comment.

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Dry_Calligrapher814@reddit

I can relate. Not military, but my sibling and our parents all died within four years of each other. My brother tragically; our parents from sickness. My kids are all older teens and just past that, and after waking up from grieving the loss of my family, I have been struggling with the heartache of how much I missed with our young kids (emotionally, because I was there, but not completely), and also that they don’t want to hang out with me much anymore because they’re older.

You say yours are 12 and \~10. You still have time! 2-3 FUN years with your 12-year-old, and \~5 with your 10-year-old. PTSD is real. Daily life in a fog is real. But you’ve seen through it and know what you missed. Find a terrific counselor; learn to breathe to reset your nervous system. Look into Adrenal Complex and B-vitamin supplements. Vitamin D and K2 as well. (DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. I can only state that these worked for me). Be okay with finding space that feels calming to you and spend time in it as much as you need to. But also, because you are thankfully aware, go make wonderful memories with your family. Lay in the grass; play games together; go for family walks after dinner. Tickle them! It doesn’t have to be grand gestures and big vacations. I wish I could get my kids back at the ages you have. You have so much wonderful time still. 💗

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nonstop2nowhere@reddit

Congratulations on the parenting job - raising grown humans - well done! It's going to get easier, I promise.

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EowynJane@reddit

My husband was a father at 17 (not with me) and neither of us had any other kids. We’ve been empty nesters for a while…. Our daughter is about to turn 33!

It is very bizarre and very different from most of my friends.

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still-at-the-beach@reddit

My son is 28. I still miss taking him to his sports he played as a little kid.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Ours play now and it’s so much fun to watch and cheer them on ❤️

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still-at-the-beach@reddit

Enjoy it now while you can..

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ConsciousChicken1249@reddit

You did a great job so far :) you’ve made little adults! Be proud of yourself and look forward to what is to come. Your kids will always be your kids, and if you really miss the little ones you can always be a teachers aide part time. You still get the rhythm of the littles’ magic. And like some others have said here, you may have grandkids someday

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

They are magic aren’t they? It’s so nice to read the comments from those with the grand babies. ☺️

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sunshineinthe813@reddit

Mine are 35 and 31. Young adulthood was bumpy but we managed. Worrying never really goes away.

They are really decent people. I’m so proud of them. They’ve really blossomed into hardworking adults with a great work life balance. They got that from watching me maneuver thru my career. Bonus point for me.

Life is an ongoing learning experience. We’re all doing it together from three corners of the country. Got to let them go so they can fly.

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yardbirdsong2020@reddit

I'm in the Southwest, and my only son will be going to school in the Midwest come fall. I haven't really begun to delve into what it will be like when he's not here, but I plan to keep myself very busy, doing lots of things I didn't have the time, energy, or resources to pursue when I was also the daily driver and constant food provider. It's been just the two of us for his whole life, and it really does feel like a part of me will be far away. But I'm extremely excited for him! I love the school and the city he's chosen, and if he winds up staying there after he graduates, I may move there myself after I retire. I'm so proud of him for who he is and all that he's accomplished, and so excited for him to have so many great opportunities ahead on so many levels. Focusing on that for now. There will be tears in the future, though. That is for certain.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh my. That will be a tough goodbye. Sounds like you raised him well ❤️

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BTS_ARMYMOM@reddit

Mine are 17 17 and 18. I told them they have to work or go to college but that they can live with me until they get married as long as they dont annoy me.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Same here. We have a suite so I hope the kids can move down there. Have their independence, pay reduced rent.

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Mulva1971@reddit

I have 17 and 14 yrs olds and I’m quietly grieving daily bc our family is about to be disrupted when the older one goes to college 6 hrs away in August. I know he’ll come home often but I’ll miss the day to day. I hate that this is part of the deal.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oof! I’m hoping the older one will go to the local college then off to university in a couple of years 🤞

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CapstickWentHome@reddit

My daughter turns 18 this month. She has autism, depression and anxiety, and refuses all treatment except sessions with her therapist. I miss my happy little girl from 6-7 years ago.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’m so sorry to hear that. That must be so hard 😢

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RunRunRunRunFaster@reddit

I love playing with younger colleagues children (8-10 yo).

They're so special when they're that age. "mom, he really likes kids".

Indeed he does.

My kids are married adults .... awesome in their own way, but not as much fun.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I love how they see the world. It’s nice to see it through their eyes for a bit now and then ❤️

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ElleGeeAitch@reddit

My son says he'll live with me until he's 35. I think I believe him, lol 😆.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

😂

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funsk8mom@reddit

I hate how fast it all went. My first set of twins are 21 and the second set are 19. I miss the little them

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BloodOk6235@reddit

I’m sorry but does this mean at one point you had…two two year old and two newborns at the same time?

gif

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funsk8mom@reddit

They are 18 months apart so at one point I had 4 under 2

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

🤯 you are super human!

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Bucks2174@reddit

No. My kids are grown and out with marriages and families of there own. Just like it’s supposed to be. They are doing great and now we have 4 grandkids. It was time for them to go when they did and there are no regrets from any of us.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

No regrets, just sad that time is over. I’m looking forward to the having their own families ❤️

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Bucks2174@reddit

I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s not strange the first couple of weeks. It is. But if you have a good relationship with them and it sounds like you do, it’s not over, it’s just a new phase. And it’s a good phase as well.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

Same. Raising independent children is the point of parenting, as far as I’m concerned. We’re still emotionally close with our grown kids but they’re both leading independent grown-up lives now. I know people with kids the same age as mine and they smother them, to the point where the kids would never move away for a career opportunity. My own niece (34, married, two kids) won’t even move out of the dumpy rental she’s been in for ten years because it’s in the same (expensive) neighborhood as her parents, even though she could easily afford to buy a house in a different part of town.

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LetUsTryThisOnceMore@reddit

I hear you. The day my son leaves will probably kill me.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

If you post on here I’ll commiserate with you ❤️

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LetUsTryThisOnceMore@reddit

Thank you. 😊

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dare_me_to_831@reddit

Yes, I wish I could do it over again knowing what I know now. With that said, we all live close to one another and spend lots of time together. They’re fun as adults.

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ImmediateCan4099@reddit

This ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

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SpookyBeck@reddit

Yeah I'm younger gen x. I have 4 kids, oldest is 28. Youngest is 17.

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bibdrums@reddit

We have a 22 yo son. He is moving to Japan the end of July for at least a year, to as many as 5, to teach English. My wife and I are both freaking out a bit. We are going to really miss him as we do a lot together as a family.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh I bet you are freaking out! So cool for him!

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bibdrums@reddit

Yeah, he’s been preparing for this for years. He minored in Japanese. He applied last year to the program and didn’t get in. He almost gave up but decided to apply again and got it. We are so proud of him but definitely freaking out lol.

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allaboutaphie@reddit

It is rough, but save a lot of money because he joined the AF, but all good we are in contact weekly. Vacations, out of sight so worry less (well after basic training lol ) Just another stage and I demand he stays a mamas boy..ha ha I kid

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ElleGeeAitch@reddit

My son recently turned 17. We were talking about the musical theater program he started taking classes at when he was 4, and how next summer will be his last class/show. I wondered out loud who would be mire verklemot, him or me. Me, definitely me 😭😭😭.

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Fishfry12@reddit

My 3 sons are all grown men now but not a day goes by that I don’t think about them being small and all the great memories. I struggle a lot with nostalgic depression and sadness so it’s rough sometimes but sounds like one of my sons and his wife are going to try for a baby now so I’m greatly looking forward to grandkids hopefully. But I feel you OP, just hang on to every moment

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh a little grand baby! What a wonderful thing to look forward to. Yes, this nostalgic depression thing is new for me 🫠 I am so happy for all the lovely memories ❤️

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njscribe@reddit

Don't be sad. One day you might have grandkids.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I can’t wait! 🤞

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Open_Appointment1091@reddit

My oldest just turned 36, middle is about to be 30 and youngest is turning 26. 4 grandkids 2 1/2, 4, 7 and 10. Grandkids fill that void as they are all reasonably close by. Then I can send them home and get the house back to ourselves.

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Tvoli@reddit

Mine is turning 13. It has gone by so fast, I never noticed time passing by so fast until we had our daughter.

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Relevant_Fuel_9905@reddit

Yeah. My oldest is 20. Middle child graduating this year. Youngest is 15.

It’s definitely sad.

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Pendergraff-Zoo@reddit

Mine are 20, and just about to turn 23 and he is graduating college. He’s going to get a job and start his own life and I’m going to miss him being in my home. So much.

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Pointy_Stix@reddit

Mine graduates from high school this month. He’s off to college this fall. It has all gone by way too fast. It’s been an absolute blast watching him grow up and I’m eager to see what happens next, but it breaks my heart to know that he’s not going to be around the house most evenings.

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Shon_t@reddit

I miss my kids, but also love having the house to myself at the same time. It’s great to have them back for a short while, but also great to have them go!

I can hold both feelings at once. Both can be true at the same time. 😊

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

For sure ❤️

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TXbergamot@reddit

My son is off to college in the fall and my husband is starting a new job that requires travel. The house all to myself? Eating whatever I want for dinner? Watching what I want on tv? Sign me up!!

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TXbergamot@reddit

My son is 18 and I am not ready for him to leave. I was trying to remember the last time I picked him up and carried him on my hip. I couldn’t.

Every stage with him has been amazing, and I know the coming stage will the best for him.

He’s ready!

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pumkinut@reddit

25, 22, and soon to be 21. I'm still not ready. I love having my boys here, although sometimes I still want to go full-on Homer Simpson on them

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TXbergamot@reddit

We all have those moments! He’s my only—a surprise angel miracle baby after nine years of trying.

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Active_Unit_9498@reddit

I know what you mean about trying to remember the last time you picked him up and carried him, I did the same thing, and also when the last time he held my hand as we walk across a street, ugh....I'm gonna need a tissue if I keep going.

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TXbergamot@reddit

Yup, I cry every morning driving to work, just thinking about the past 18 years. They went way too fast. I’m just trying to be present for him, and getting him ready to launch.

But he’s come so far and I can’t wait to see what he is going to do.

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Active_Unit_9498@reddit

He will be great and so will you!

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Grand_Taste_8737@reddit

My son will be 18 tomorrow and off to college in the fall. Seems like yesterday I was changing his diaper. Time flies but I'm proud of the person he's become and hope I've helped prepare him for what lies ahead.

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Dost_is_a_word@reddit

My kids are 32, 28, 22 and 21. It’s cool, conversation is better. We are going to start Sunday dinner twice a month.

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SnuggleMoose44@reddit

I have one in their early 30s and one in their late 20s. Sometimes it feels as though they don’t need me. That’s hard to get used to as they get older.

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BobMonroeFanClub@reddit

My youngest is leaving home on Friday to start a new job in London and while I'm excited for him I shall spend some of Saturday sat on his old bed hugging his pillow.

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Solid-Wish-1724@reddit

You just made me tear up. Hang in there.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

❤️

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grumblefluff@reddit

My kids are in their 30s and I love it…also maybe you’ll get grandbabies, those are even better

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Globeblotter85@reddit

I think the adult stage is just as good in a different way. You get to be less parent and more friend. I have two boys and we have so much fun playing sports, going to concerts, etc..

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes! I love to hear this!!

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TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe@reddit

See, if you’d married too young and had your first at 22, and they had their first in high school (eek!) then you’d all be over all that by now and could enjoy the fact your grandies are just becoming teens. They’re even more fun this way.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

😂❤️

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OldSlug@reddit

My daughter is in her mid-20s. I’m really enjoying watching her find her way as an adult, giving advice (only when asked…mostly), and seeing her make better choices than I did at her age. I spend probably too much time analyzing things she does and thinking “What part of my parenting led to this? Was it the right parenting choice for her, or did I fuck up? If/when she has a kid should I suggest she do the same as I did or do the complete opposite?” as if I am the only thing that impacted who she’s become (which I know is absolutely not the case).

They still need us as parents, or at least need to access elder wisdom from someone, and thankfully I’m who she trusts in that role. It’s a whole new stage of parenting that’s just as mysterious and bewildering as infancy was, in my experience. You’ll figure it out as you go along.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I feel the same! I’m glad to hear it’s a new stage of parenting. Just different. ❤️

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Lost_Taste_8181@reddit

Oldest Daughter is 18 and graduating high school in a month, going off to college in August. I’m beyond proud of her but I’m gonna bawl my eyes out.

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chamrockblarneystone@reddit

My 29 year old daughter got married in October. My 26 year old son still lives with us but is engaged.

My son and I are surfers and we’ve always been tight.

My daughter and I struggled in her teens. I’ve always felt bad about it.

I retired two years ago and our relationship has improved dramatically. She knows I’m available all the time. Which is one of the reasons I retired.

I took her to her colonoscopy recently and I discovered she and her husband are living like raccoons.

I grabbed my truck and cleaning supplies and went over and cleaned and deodorized their place.

They were both overjoyed. Next week I’m taking her to the rifle range for lessons.

One of the reasons I retired was to fix some things with her. Spend some time. I’m really glad I have this opportunity. Next, I’ll work on being a good grandpa.

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Cleocha@reddit

Wow, I don’t know if I need to up my meds but you gave me chills and teary eyes. This is really beautiful to read! What you are doing is so important and loving! Bravo!
God, I miss my Dad!

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Totally ❤️

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chamrockblarneystone@reddit

Thanks for that. I’m just glad she’s giving me the chance.

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567Anonymous@reddit

My kids are 17, 22 and 24. The middle one is about to graduate college and is taking a job 10 hours away. The oldest is finishing up her grad school program and will be 2 hours away for her internship, and the youngest is about to finish his junior year of high school and will be away at college before I know it. I am so proud of the three of them, and so miss the little kids they used to be.

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Tinyberzerker@reddit

Mine just turned 21 and has been out of the house for 2 years. Sometimes I go in his room and feel sad. I see him often and he's turned out to be a great human, but I miss him being home.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Big hugs!

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Tinyberzerker@reddit

❤️

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monkeysmom100@reddit

You guys are totally my people! My daughter is almost 25 and getting married in less than 3 weeks. My son is almost 16 and ready to start driving and living life. Thank God my sister had a little boy almost 2 years ago that I can go love on and snuggle with!

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I have a couple of nephews too. Thank goodness!!

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Gutinstinct999@reddit

I feel the exact same way. I can’t believe the time is coming for them to leave soon

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

All those people who said, “The days are long but the years are short” were so right 🤬

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WinterBackbone@reddit

My kid is early 30s. I’m happy to be friends with my adult son. He’s a really great person.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s so great ❤️

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ImaSource@reddit

Lol. My kids are 30 and 33. It's so nice not to have to deal with anything kids related anymore. Now it's just calls and visits.

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jitterbugperfume99@reddit

Wait til the grandkids show up, should they go that route.

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LKPTbob@reddit

Grandkids is a game changer. We went from 0 to 4 in 3 years.

I was missing being a parent. I had kids young so I am still fairly young as a grandfather. Now I take my grandsons every Saturday since the oldest was 3 months. The other 2 live about 14 hours away, but we visit as much as we can.

Being a grandparent, for me is very fulfilling.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’m really looking forward to it 🤞

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ImaSource@reddit

Neither of my kids have any desire to have kids, so I won't have to think about that.

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doinmabest1@reddit

We had kids young. I’m elder millennial/GenX and my baby graduates next month. Being an empty nester at 46 feels wild. I’m not ready. They’re my favorite people 😭

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Same age!! We have a whole new stage to go through. I was so busy getting to this spot that I haven’t thought about what happens after 🤦‍♀️

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bloodinthecentrifuge@reddit

I’m feeling that so much. I know that time is short-my nearly 22yo is moving out and my 18yo is going off to college. I just have this feeling of ‘did I do my best’ ‘did I prepare them?’ ‘Why didn’t we go camping more?’

Sigh

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FerretFarm@reddit

My boys are 23 and 26. Time is just flying.

It's bittersweet. on one hand it feels like parenting is a full time, but temporary gig. We become redundant in a way.

On the other hand, well, that's the whole point. Imagine if they they needed you in the same way as when they were kids for life. They graduated into adulthood.

Your kid going to college, with you knowing she's ready means that yes, you did your best, and yes, she is prepared!

I miss having the boys at home, but then watching them find partners, careers, hobbies, housing, etc, fills me with joy and pride. I get tears sometimes when I see what they became.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s so nice to hear ☺️

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FerretFarm@reddit

❤️

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes! I feel the same! Gosh I hope we did a good job and they launch successfully.

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FLAtarian@reddit

They break our hearts without them knowing it. It’s devastating every time my daughter heads back to college.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Awe 🥰 I bet she’s sad too. I remember leaving my grandparents (they helped raise me) and I always cried. Not when leaving my moms though 😂

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shortstop_princess@reddit

My kids are 21, 19, and 17. One of them moved to another state, the other moved in w/ a significant other about 5 mins away. I was not ready for this.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Glad to hear you still have 1!

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CameronBW1975@reddit

Yes, mine are 19, 17 and 15. I haven't seen them since 2014.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Sorry to hear that. That’s great must be hard.

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nunyabizthewiz@reddit

Mine are early teens and I’m clinging to every second. My oldest will have his driver’s license soon and I will miss our car rides dearly. This made me ugly cry.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Sorry!!

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HappyHannibal@reddit

My youngest is graduating high school this year and I feel every word you said. No these aren't tears. Now excuse me while I finish cutting these onions.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

❤️

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Turbulent-Demand873@reddit

Our kids are all out of the house. We have 5 (soon to be 6) grandkids. It’s an adjustment at first but honestly I enjoy the relationship we have with our adult children much better.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s so great to hear ❤️

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texicali74@reddit

Mine are 17 and 14. They live with their mother, so I don’t see them every day, but we text all the time and I see them on weekends and when we take trips together several times a year. I think the thing I will struggle with most is a loss of identity. Right now, I’m a provider for them, but soon they’ll get to a point where they won’t need me to be that anymore, and I think I will have a hard time with it. When it feels like no one needs you, it’s even harder to keep pushing through life, especially the way the world is now.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I agree. This is the one job I sure have loved and felt good at. Now what?

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Sufficient_Space8484@reddit

Oh absolutely. The best days of my life were when my boys were born until they got to high school. All downhill from there.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yeah. Helping them grow into adults is such an amazing journey.

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ennuiandapathy@reddit

Our kids are 36, 26, and 22. The two youngest are still at home - one is working on her master’s and the other just graduated - but they have jobs and social lives, so the dynamic has shifted. The oldest lives several states away and, while we talk every week and text every day, we don’t see her nearly as often as we’d like.

I miss family game nights and doing things together. This year will be our last family vacation for a while and that makes me sad. But I’m proud of them as they figure out their place in the world, and I enjoy getting to know the people they’re becoming.

The child-raising years were exhausting and not being able ”on call” 24/7 is still a pleasant surprise. Some days, I find myself with nothing to do- no kids to drive around, no activities to get to, no homework to help with - and I feel at loose ends.

My partner and I are spending more time together, figuring out who we are as a couple instead of full-time parents. I’m doing the things I put aside for “someday”. I’m figuring out who I am as an individual instead of just Mom.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes, I feel this. I am being forced to refocus on me. Not by choice 🫠

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tranquilrage73@reddit

Mone are in their 30s and I still miss them horribly when they aren't "home."

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Awe 🥰 I’m sure that’ll be me.

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KingPabloo@reddit

Youngest wraps up HS in a few weeks then off to college. I love my kids to death, but I’m ready to play outside all day until dark again…

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Whatcha gonna do??

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notevenapro@reddit

They still gonna need you when they are adults.

My 32 year old son is going through a divorce with no kids. Property and pets though. He cannot afford a lawyer so mom and I are going to pay all his legal costs, 6 years before I retire.

They always need you, until they become you.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

That’s tough. That’s great you can be there for him ❤️

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powderpoff6@reddit

I am pre-grieving. Mine are 14 and 17. They’ll both be in high school in the fall. Sometimes I try to imagine what it will be like to come home from work with no backpacks in the hallway, or to wake up on a Saturday morning and not have family things to look forward to. It makes me sad.

I’m comforted that it’s all going the way it’s supposed to, and hope I’ve raised them to be courageous in finding their own adventures in life. And I’m being REAL careful that how I parent them as teens will support our shifting relationships later in life. I like who they are, and I think they like me.

It’s also prompting my husband and I to have real conversations about what we want the next part of our lives to look like when it’s just us. It feels good to get ahead of that conversation- seems like a typical shaky place in many marriages.

But yes, it makes me very sad to think about, even with all the positive and exciting things it signals.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I’m in the same situation. I think planning with your partner is so smart! We fantasize about fun stuff we will do too. I’m excited to watch my boys grow and chase their dreams.

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Fun-Position7750@reddit

Before kids dad passed, he and I always joked about being those aging parents who would randomly show up at our kids home, candy in the pocket for grandkids, make a mess, eat all their food after complaining ‘that’s not what we wanted for dinner’, just being total nuisances. Because why…? We can.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I love that! I hope we will be able to do that. Sorry to hear about your loss :-(

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SoUpInYa@reddit

I was a FT single dad since he was 3 months old, so we were side by side constantly. Now that he's off to college, a big chunk of me has gone with him and caring for him was a big part of my thoughts and life, and that's no more

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Big hugs ❤️

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JuJu_Wirehead@reddit

I didn't get to have kids, just wasn't in the cards for my wife and I. Sometimes I'm sad about it, sometimes I'm glad. Be happy you have any progeny at all.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Good point :-)

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Impossible-Key-2212@reddit

If your kids like you, they will come back. Our daughter checked out for a couple of years in college, but we see her all of the time now.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes! This is the response I was looking for 🥰

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Perle1234@reddit

My kids are over 30 😭

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BerryLanky@reddit

I’m the oldest child and have a 10 to 15 year gap with the youngest three. I helped raise them and saw first hand how fast they grow. So when my son was born I savored every moment. He’s in his 30’s now and I am happy with how I raised him. Now I’m waiting for grandkids

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Evil_Weevil_Knievel@reddit

Couldn’t wait for the oldest to fuck off. Loved him but he was an absolute dick. But in his early 20’s he turned into a good dude and I’m happy to hang out with him.

Young dude hasn’t become a dickhead. At least yet.

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Spear_Ritual@reddit

Yep. Patience sucks as a parent while you’re waiting for them to finish growing up. Glad it turned out good for you. 👍

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TapeFlip187@reddit

I feel exactly the same way. 🥺

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Rudajuda@reddit

Nope.

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Keepin-it-w31Rd@reddit

Sending our last two off to college this summer. School and sport teams are asking for photos from throughout the years for end ID school year.

Fills me with joy and longing for more time with them before the family dynamic evolves.

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Upbeat_Cheesecake_86@reddit

Mine are grown and moved out. I like to think of it and thoroughly enjoy, loving each stage of their growth and watching them become their own individual people and being successful as adults. So do I miss them at home, sometimes, do I also love having an empty nest also yes.

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mjh8212@reddit

Mines having my second grandchild. Third actually I think of her stepdaughter as my grandchild as well. She has one her husband has one and now they are having one together. I’m 47. Parenting advice is outdated so I don’t suggest much unless she asks but we still talk a few days a week and I fly to see them. My kids are both grown and have lives of their own.

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elphaba00@reddit

This weekend, our somewhat new neighbor came over and asked if he could have our old swing set. It was built for a 4-year-old in 2011, and he's at college most of the year. Our other teenager didn't have much interest in it. My husband told him, "If you can move it, you can have it." I think losing that swing set hurt more than sending the oldest to college.

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DontTickleTheDriver1@reddit

I have my daughter's old Nike stored away in the garage. I found it at a thrift store I'm great shape and practically brand new. I taught her how to ride a bike with it. I don't want to let it go. It's one of my dad highlights and a cherished item and I fear letting it go will hurt just like you're describing here

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Awe ❤️🥰

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Feisty-Lifeguard-550@reddit

Yeah when my daughter moved out and went to work abroad I felt sad , it went away and I love having the house to myself now

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Amaretti-Morbidi@reddit

I get a little misty-eyed when I see babies and little kids, but I absolutely love my young adults! They're so fun to hang out with, and watching them interact with each other is wonderful as well. They're 25, 22, and 18, and (due to COL in our area) all still at home, and while I know they'd prefer to have their own spaces, they're not unhappy living here. I'd be a lot sadder of they had scattered to the winds -- though of course I'll be proud and happy for them when they are.

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PnkMinnie@reddit

Mine are 17 and 14 and we also live in a HCOL area. I’d love any advice you can give on how to change from mom to roommate?

I’m doing small things right now with responsibilities, but the thing that has been on my mind recently was meals. I’m a single mom, so do I cook for myself when I feel like it and they’re on their own? I just can’t wrap my head around the small things even though I know they’re small.

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FL_4LF@reddit

My youngest is getting his driver's license in a week, it's like one day I'm being his jumping gym. And now he's driving 😔, these milestones are bittersweet.

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ohfrackthis@reddit

Our 25 yr old son joined the army, married and is not a father and out of the army and going to move back to our city (I'm too excited lol). Our 19f is off in college in another state far away, we have 15m and 12f still at home but yeah. I'm very very verkelmpt about them leaving. It hurts.

I am happy for all of my children to grow and live good lives out there but I'm emotional about it lol 😆

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Active_Unit_9498@reddit

I just became an empty nester this past fall. It definitely has involved some grieving, in part for the end of their childhood and, in part, what it means about me and where I am in my life.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yeah. So what now? It almost feels like it did at the end of high school. I need to make a plan for the rest of my life!

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Active_Unit_9498@reddit

My wife and I each took up a new hobby: her knitting, me karate. Can't sit around and mope.

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hernondo@reddit

My baby girl just got married and is living in a different state 1,000 miles away.. MAKE the effort to stay close, it’s easy to drift. As hard as it is for me, I care deeply knowing she is living the life SHE wants to live, not the one that I prefer. We’re extremely happy with her marriage and husband, but would love to have her closer to home. But, she’s living where she wants to live, and is married to the person she loves. I have to be ok with that, and not selfish. It’s not easy.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

You sound like an awesome parent ❤️

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hernondo@reddit

Thanks!

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itsmebrian@reddit

Mine are 23 and 20. Do I miss some of their younger years? Absolutely. However, I am certainly not sad that they're older for a couple of reasons. I believe my wife and I raised two great kids and I'm absolutely excited to see what great things they do in life. I cannot wait for those days when we talk and I get to live vicariously through their exploits and experiences. Also, a bit on the selfish side, I can now do the things I've put off for so many years.

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ComprehensiveEbb8261@reddit

I am so happy that I get to share a house with my daughter. We all rent this big place with a nice yard.

Its a house that none of us could afford or handle alone, so we are living the golden girlz life!! 👓

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Fun-Position7750@reddit

This may happen with one of my daughters. She was born with a brachial plexus injury and work has been troublesome for her. It affects her whole left side. She was lucky to get any movement at all. We are looking at disability at some point. It bothers her too. She doesn’t want to not work.

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Moody_GenX@reddit

Mine are adults. One isn't a great person and the other is a phenomenal human being.

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Good_With_Tools@reddit

I find that phenomenon so fascinating. My dad is the oldest of 3. His bio-dad dipped when he was born, but adopted by his step-dad at 6. My grandmother went on to have 2 more with that guy. And the guy that I called Grandpa was a great human. However, the 2 kids that were biologically his turned out to be a waste. Both had addiction problems. My dad was the only one to prosper. To make it even weirder, my dad's bio-dad was a terrible human as well.

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Resident-Archer-6467@reddit

Yes, trying to find a new identity.

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vomputer@reddit

I miss some of the days when they were very little, sometimes, but mostly in just loving watching them grow up and become independent. Those days when they needed EVERYTHING were exhausting and we remember them through rose colored glasses. Now they are interactive, funny, interesting, and challenging in new ways.

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Junior_Article_3244@reddit

My oldest is 17, but luckily I have an 8 year old as well. She's so busy with sports and work, we barely see her.

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hair_10@reddit

Empty neater here. 3 kids, youngest is 20. Don't really see or talk to the youngest or oldest much but I'm close to the middle one. And while I don't really want any of them living with me again (LOL) I miss them all a lot.

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Angry_GorillaBS@reddit

I've always struggled with them getting older. The baby stage is the best so every day feels like a bit of silent torture in a way.

You're proud of what they grow into -hopefully-but that doesn't make it any easier

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Klutzy-Reporter4223@reddit

It is really hard...it took me at least 10 years to not feel the pang. It was hard, but rewarding going from knowing their every move, activity, and friend, to watching them take charge of their own lives.

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MzunguMjinga@reddit

Mixed bag. I know the oldest is ready, but we'll miss him.. at times.

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AnastasiaNo70@reddit

Mine is 31. I’m past that. Now we get to enjoy each other’s company as adults!

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Very cool! ❤️

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Ridicule_us@reddit

My oldest is graduating HS in just a couple of weeks, and will then be going off to a college several states over.

We very intentionally raised him to be the very best version of himself (and boy is he doing that). We also raised him to think big, and a very unfortunate side-effect of that is that I expect he'll likely make his life in some city far away from his very parochial hometown.

So yeah... the intensity of my love for that boy and how much I want him to have a wonderfully fulfilling life hurts just a bit when I think of what that life means and the physical distance there may be between us...

...I'm rambling, but I hope I'm making sense.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Total sense. 🤗

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Th1nk18@reddit

My youngest is 18 and heading to college in the fall. It’s bittersweet but I know she’s ready.

Looking back and it’s a BLUR. First they need us for less and less, and then they leave!!

Empty nest Gen X time

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GroovyGmaIvy@reddit

Mine are 29 and 32…. I’m enjoying the grands now.

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tcdaf7929@reddit

My oldest will be 28 soon and she is graduating from med school next week…my other child will be 24 and just finished his first year of grad school. I am so happy that they are finding their life’s path and I’m so blessed to be a part of it, but I would do it ALL over in an absolute heartbeat 💓

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TheAnarchyChicken@reddit

It is definitely bittersweet. Mine are 19 and 23 now and it’s so awesome seeing the funny, kind, smart AF little adults they are… but I look back on their baby pictures and it seems like it was just yesterday. 😭

[-]

Gavacho123@reddit

It’s bitter sweet, my oldest son is 17 and I understand how you’re feeling.

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Flababulous@reddit

About to put my son (16 to be, finishing 10th grade), in a driver's seat.

I swear I was changing diapers just yesterday.

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wyohman@reddit

No. I'm happy they are grown, successful adults.

I find it strange that so many people are sad about this.

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Samwhys_gamgee@reddit

I have 2 boys that will o ing out or going to college in the next 12-18 months. I can’t listen to Cat Steven’s “Father and Son” without losing my shit.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes!!! Exactly!!

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Illustrious-Egg-5839@reddit

On one hand, they’re coming into their own and navigating the world. On the other, they’re coming into their own and navigating the world. I have one that’s out and married, one in high school. It’s bittersweet but there will be grandkids eventually. Wife and I are looking forward to that part.

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zombie_overlord@reddit

Nope, I can't wait for them to get out in the world and (hopefully) use all the things I've taught them. I'm so freaking ready to be an empty nester. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, but I'm ready for some personal time. So many things I would be doing if I wasn't driving them to school or sports or whatever. Currently they're 13 & 17.

[-]

mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I totally get that too. Now that we are not driving everywhere all the time, I feel a bit rudderless.

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EmotionalVegetable48@reddit

Currently, they’re 1 & 3 mos 😂

Enjoy your time with them. There are parts of being an empty nester that sound exciting. But once they’re grown and gone, they’re gone

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BoisterousBanquet@reddit

I'm not Gen X, I'm an elder millennial, but I'm in this situation as my son is 19. I think it's kinda fun in the stage we're in. I'm less his dad than his older friend who gives him advice when he asks for it. I get to watch him forming his real, adult life and that's super fun.

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Salt-Routine-9388@reddit

Love every single age and stage Just when you think you’re good with whatever stage they’re in life surprises you with the next amazing stage

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PahzTakesPhotos@reddit

My kids are in their 30s, good riddance! I'm kidding. My kids are awesome. They're doing well, all have good jobs and home lives. We still see them on a regular basis. There's only one grandgoblin (our oldest has the one and our other two kids are "no children, no way, not at all").

I was glad that as my kids grew that they were less dependent on me for every little thing. When they got to driving age, it was a relief because by then, my health was taking a hit. It's great to be able to hand my kid the list and my debit card and let THEM go to the store.

I miss not seeing them all the time, but I'm happy that they're doing what they want to do with their lives.

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Adventurous-Depth984@reddit

Saw a heartbreaking statistic that says by the time your kid is 18, you’ve spent 90% of the time you’re going to spent with them. :(

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

OUCH 😭

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BobMonroeFanClub@reddit

That knocked the wind out of my chest.

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MushyAbs@reddit

Yes. I’m desperately trying to hold on to what time I have left with them before they leave home. I’m not sure what my life will be like when they’re gone.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Yes! Me too. I’m already kinda bored! It used to be go go go, and now, I’m really good at moving at breakneck speed and it’s slowing down 🤪

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Yes… mine are 22 and 20 now!

Everytime I see mothers with young children… makes me wanna go back and do it all again!

I would in a heartbeat too.

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WTM73199@reddit

My sons are in their 20’s and I miss the days when they were little.

Unfortunately, you have to let them go and live their lives. You have to trust yourself that you raised them well.

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DogsAreOurFriends@reddit

It is very bittersweet.

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aburena2@reddit

I enjoyed and loved every stage of their developed. They are now adults with one with a family of her own and the other recently engaged.

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blindside1@reddit

My oldest is off at college and I have barely talked to him. I miss that kid, I am looking forward to him coming back this summer.

My middle kid is 13 and growing up too damn fast, my 9 year old is my lifeline right now. 😃

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Pristine-Speaker-768@reddit

I still have an 11 and 12 yr old at home. I have been going through their stuff to donate. Im having a tough time parting with some of the clothes, toys and blankets from when they were little. They have been telling me it's OK and I can still keep the some stuff if it makes me feel better lol.

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JaxBoltsGirl@reddit

I saw a meme once that said that your son growing up is the longest break up of your life. And that hit hard. My little guy that called me mommy until about the fifth grade (not around friends, lol) and would give hugs whenever is going to be 18 next month. When I tell him I love him I get a grunt most of the time. I'll get a hug when I ask, but most of the time its accompanied by an eye roll. Don't get me wrong, he's a great kid and I know he loves us, he's just not the cuddlebug I had. Thankfully our oldest son has Down syndrome so I can get big cuddles and hugs from him whenever, lol.

But there is the flip side. Our youngest is now 16. Oldest is married and almost 22. For the last few years my husband and I have been able to take weekend trips and not worry about finding someone to watch the kids. The two social ones have friends that drive so we only have to be part time taxis. We don't have to worry about car seats, strollers, or snack/diaper bags when we go to the theme parks or travel.

But yeah, it can hurt sometimes in those quiet moments looking back.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

I love that you have your special boy to cuddle 🥰🥰🥰 Mine are boys too. I’ve heard about the break up. That is definitely what it feels like!

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Machinebuzz@reddit

We're happy our kids are grown and out on their own.

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trUth_b0mbs@reddit

I love my teen! She's going to be 18 and will be off to university soon. I'm excited for this new chapter in her life ❤️

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digdugnate@reddit

our two are 20 and 22 this year. it was super tough to move the youngest into their first apartment.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh I bet ❤️

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Business_Coyote_5496@reddit

No. I love my adult kids. I loved it when they were babies, I loved the preschool era, elementary school, middle school wasn't so hot lol, high school, college and now they are adults. All the stages are good in their own way.

I never stopped living my life so it didn't bum me out that they grew up. I kept my own hobbies, my own social life, my own marriage, carved out time always for myself, so things are good.

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One-Pepper-2654@reddit

My two sons are 26 and 30. Both single in different cities. I don’t see them near as often as I like. And of course I can’t give them any life advice because I know nothing. I read somewhere that you see your kids almost every day until they are 18, but only about 365 times after they turn 18 until you die.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

Oh my god!! That is a very depressing thought.

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DancesWithPigs@reddit

We married off our first one last year. That was tough on us. I’m ready for #2 to go already and he’s just starting college.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

😂

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anotherNotMeAccount@reddit

i love my kids but we've spent our whole lives on the understanding that we move on.

My son is 18 and mostly away at college (comes back every 2-3 weeks for the weekend but mostly to hang out with his girlfriend) and my daughter is 16 but spends most of her time on homework (include marching band as well as other after school bands) or with her boyfriend.

We have great relationships and can talk openly and honestly about anything.

My wife is a bit more like you describe. Sad when she doesn't see them for a couple of days. But this is life. They were not made to be with us forever.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

It’s true. We have to move on to the next stage 😢

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Think-Rush8206@reddit

It's bittersweet. My 19 year old college student just drove off to see his girlfriend. I have 2 others that will be official adults in a few years. It's good to watch them grow up and become who they're going to be.

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

It is. Just selfishly, I’d like to keep them 🥴

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WideRisk7495@reddit

Enjoy them lost my son 4yrs ago he was 22 absolute misery

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mimoses250@reddit (OP)

My heart aches for you. I can’t imagine the pain ❤️

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NotAnotherThing@reddit

One left home two years ago and my baby is about to go on a trip (on a plane!) without us!

I sure they were only 3 yesterday....

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groundhogcow@reddit

May kids are in there 30's. My grand kid is getting going into her senior year.

I am not sure I would call all of this adventure an honour, but it's been a fun ride.

The sadness is gone. It's back to getting things done now.

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SnowblindAlbino@reddit

Ours are in their 20s now and it's a delight. Both went 1500+ miles away for college though. I miss the teen years having them both at home, but it's really cool having these fun adults in the family. We just don't get to see them as often as I'd like.

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PhiloLibrarian@reddit

My oldest just turned 13 and I’m so proud.

My kids are ready to go out and take care of the world. I’ll be happy if they don’t need me, but they still want me…. Reverse McPhee? 😂

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catshark2o9@reddit

I'm turning 50 this week and my son turns 25 in two weeks. Its surreal. He's not my little boy anymore.

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Acceptable_Usual1646@reddit

Yes it is so sad like who stole my sweet little kids? Fortunately I also have 7yo who cuddles me

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AZPeakBagger@reddit

Life is all about seasons. The season of raising your children lasts at best a third of your life. Embrace the time you have with them now.

The transition is tough. But it’s great having an empty house again. Like a second chance to date and enjoy time with your spouse.