If you could invent one thing that would benefit you, what would it be?

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anabsentfriend@reddit

I pod that I could walk in when I get up in the morning. It would shower me, wash, dry and style my hair, do my make up, out my clothes on me and hand me a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea.

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ForwardImagination71@reddit

I'm pretty sure there was a TV advert like this in the 1980s / 1990s but I can't fit the life of me remember what it was for.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

Maybe it's lodged in my subconscious!

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A Bernard’s watch situation where I could stop time for a bit (but not age). So like, if I wanted to go swimming I could stop time so my kiddo was safe but I didn’t have to parent, go to a pool and have a lovely time and then maybe head home, have a nap, and then clock back into parenting when I was ready!

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RoyalyMcBooty@reddit

If I could stop time I would use it to belittle everyone.

Imagine having an arguement with someone and you feel that they're starting to win the conversation, so you just stop time and pull their pants down...nerds.

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DIY_at_the_Griffs@reddit

Ha! Amazing! 🤩

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DIY_at_the_Griffs@reddit

Man. I’d spend so much more time in pause land than reality, this’d be awesome.

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bellabanjsk@reddit

Haha me too! I’d be so much more emotionally happier in the non pause time, for having had time to myself and sleep!

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philff1973@reddit

A machine you put bread in then toast comes out of it later.

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Bifanarama@reddit

Would be amazing! We've put a man on the moon, and created AI. Surely it's only a matter of time now.

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philff1973@reddit

I have heard through a friend of a friend that they are working on something you put water in and a bit later hotter water comes out of it ……. We are truly living through miracle days.

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Imaginary_Finger7844@reddit

Definitely a sleep machine. No better feeling than imagining a restful eight hours sleep.

Start working on it please.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

a pill that i take once daily to ensure i get all of my nutritional and caloric needs without having to eat

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bellabanjsk@reddit

I think I’d prefer a pill that removed all the bad stuff from what I had already eaten, like saturated fat, and kept all the good stuff/added anything that was missing.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

nah i just need a pill to enable my laziness

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Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

You could take amphetamines for a while. You won't want to eat for quite a while. The house will also become spotless too.

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bellabanjsk@reddit

Excellent

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BuGMoiDroit@reddit

There are medications that remove a lot of fat from what you eat. If you don't mind yellow, oily diarrhea.

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Legitimate-Lock9965@reddit

then we'd still get to enjoy eating.

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fuckedsince1991@reddit

Fuck that love me some food haha

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EuroSong@reddit

That sounds terrible. One of life’s great pleasures is eating excellent food.

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autobulb@reddit

This is seriously the most depressing thing I've read in a good long while.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

not for me. a good iced coffee on the other hand…

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Boboshady@reddit

Probably possible, but you might not like the size of the pill, OR where you'd have to ingest it.

Hint - it wouldn't be something you swallowed...

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

how else would i ingest it

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insanityarise@reddit

intero-rectogestion

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Boboshady@reddit

Bend over, relax, and I'll show you.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

brother what the fuck

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Boboshady@reddit

Dude, you never heard of suppositories?

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

lol no. i had to google it

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Boboshady@reddit

Quite literally an eye-opener for you then :)

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h00dman@reddit

Well it's an opening for sure.

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h00dman@reddit

Up your bum.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

i’m scared

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Sjuk86@reddit

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glasgowgeg@reddit

Do you only see food as a source of nutrients and not enjoyment?

Having it be a single pill without having to eat just sounds dystopic and miserable.

If the form isn't a deal-breaker, can't you just use slop like Huel?

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

yup, i really don’t enjoy food much. i have dishes i’d rather eat but nothing is super delicious to me or anything. i find it such a bother to have to eat and prepare food several times a day. sometimes i skip meals and dont eat just because the idea of preparing food annoys me even just thinking about it

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Miss_Type@reddit

I'm the same. I can't wait for someone to invent a tablet that replaces food. It's such a hassle. I end up just eating the same thing for 6 weeks, so I don't have to think about it.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

i’m so glad it’s not just me. i have five dishes on rotation that take 20 minutes to make because i don’t have the patience for anything else

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glasgowgeg@reddit

huel is expensive unfortunately

You don't think your perfect caloric pill wouldn't be priced similarly?

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

perhaps but it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t really matter does it

i’ve only ever seen it in holland and barrett’s where its so expensive

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Vequihellin@reddit

As someone with Audhd who has zero concept of bodily hunger, this would be amazing.

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Ok_Young1709@reddit

How about a smoothie rather than a pill?

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glasgowgeg@reddit

You're just reinventing Huel at that point.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

a pill is quick and gets it out the way

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RonBonxious@reddit

Building on your invention, I'd like a switch that stops me from dreaming.

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Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)

How come can I ask? Do you suffer with nightmares?

I love dreaming I can’t lie, they are always like full on stories.

But yes I’ll invent an additional plug in to go with it to turn them off just for you lol

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RonBonxious@reddit

Not nightmares, just a lot going on so I wake up feeling mentally exhausted!

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leoarw@reddit

Time Machine so I could go back and spend time with my deceased husband.

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dudius399@reddit

That's lovely but, if you used it properly, you could spend time with him whilst he was alive.

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leoarw@reddit

That gave me a little tickle thank you 😂

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dudius399@reddit

Shears the best medicine. Seriously, though; condolences. Xx

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TedWasler@reddit

Coathangers that hold clothes when you want them to hold them, and let the clothes go when you want to get them out of the wardrobe. All current designs appear to do the exact opposit.

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Afraid-Astronomer886@reddit

A robot that changes my bed sheets. It's my most hated household chore

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melanie110@reddit

See, I don’t mind that one but I do it every other day

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Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Every other day is surely a sign of mental illness 😂

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melanie110@reddit

Probably but night sweats are tough

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Afraid-Astronomer886@reddit

I get so sweaty and flustered and I can never get the duvet in properly. It stresses me out unnecessarily lol

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Bossman_Mike@reddit

The duvet is witchcraft. None of those "hacks" work worth a damn for me and it's always a total mess.

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melanie110@reddit

Hahah yes. Definitely like doing a spin class after

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33and5@reddit

'every 2 weeks'... Sure...

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fuckedsince1991@reddit

Time Machine is the one surely?? Not thought it all through though. But gotta be the best thing?

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DistinctBuilder8503@reddit

A clone so I could send the bastard to work for me

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Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Think of your poor Innie

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jilljd38@reddit

As a menopausal woman please please invent your amazing sleep machine, I'm absolutely fed up of waking between 3.30 and 5.00am when I have absolutely no given need to , I'm running on caffeine and exhaustion

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EmmaInFrance@reddit

Same.

I would also like something that restored my formerly excellent memory and 'demisted' the brain fog.

And yes, I'm already on a high HRT dose.

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Spin4team4096@reddit

The ability to download any skill into your brain, like in The Matrix movie

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Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)

Yeah this is a good one 👏🏼

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

A few friends like I had in my teens and twenties, when we were together all the time.

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EvanTurningTheCorner@reddit

A sleep controller, so I can sleep exactly how and how long I want to. E.g. I can press a button and instantly be out for the next eight hours, or get a solid hour of deep sleep. Or ten minutes of light sleep.

This would be life changing for me as sleep has always been a problem. The more I need to fall asleep, the harder it is, so I always have to schedule my life so that I have at least an hour or two more time for sleeping than I actually need to sleep. I can't really do jobs that require waking up early, as I will end up extremely sleep deprived.

I am also completely unable to take naps, as I never know how long it will take to fall asleep (if I will at all) and once I do fall asleep I might be out for hours. But if I set an alarm, I probably won't fall asleep in time for it to be useful.

Just extremely frustrating all around. If I could program my sleep like I program the microwave, my life would be so much easier, and I would be so much better rested.

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Spicymargx@reddit

A robot that tidies rather than cleans - unloads the dishwasher, puts clothes away, picks things up and puts them in their home.

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FinancialBread4660@reddit

Hell yeah, this…… fucking hate folding laundry and packing the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher is more tolerable for some reason….

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Far-Radio856@reddit

You need a wife /s

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Spicymargx@reddit

I am my wife

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BigBlueMountainStar@reddit

Plot twist, your husband is the robot, but he’s out working in the factory all day building cars.

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Spicymargx@reddit

Now if only he could build me that damn robot…

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JakkRabbitt-@reddit

My wife read this over my shoulder and lovingly punched me in the arm.

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_Planemad_@reddit

An automatic garlic peeler. I think about every time I peel garlic.

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Darwen85@reddit

I picked up a little flexible tube last time I was in Spain, you chuck your garlic in press down gentle and roll it back and forth a couple times and out comes your garlic peeled.

Just googled garlic peeling tube.

They are couple quid online.

Easiest method I've found.

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DarthScabies@reddit

I found they dont work with really fresh garlic. If they're left for a couple of days the skin loosens and they work really well.

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External-Praline-451@reddit

Give the bulb a little squish and roll with your palm to loosen the peel. Then cut the base off, and the rest peels off with it super easy.

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33and5@reddit

I just brake it from the bulb, bend it a bit, peal the skin off... I think your doing it wrong

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

Microwave for ten seconds.

I mean, you should be able to peel one clove in ten (whack, then peel), but if you've got loads to do it works.

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DeeplyCooked@reddit

A traffic-light switching button in my car. May cause chaos to everyone else though.

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ForwardImagination71@reddit

Become a bus or tram driver 😜

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Fureniku@reddit

I have one of these actually and it's an absolute game changer! I got diagnosed with sleep apnoea, and my body has since learned that putting on the CPAP mask = bed time and I zonk out in <5 mins. Generally a shit condition to deal with but this is the one perk.

As for the invention, I'm going through routine procedures for another thing I have, and have to go through painful sessions every two weeks for about a year (due to finish in October). If someone made a device that just consolidated the whole process to one session, I'd take it in a heartbeat even if it amplified the pain to be every session at once

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mrmazola@reddit

A universal detecter. Just tell it what I'm looking for (my car keys, that cable that charges my shaver, etc) and it will show up on a little radar screen like in Aliens or whatever.

You could also use it for general terms like standing in a field and telling it money, magic mushrooms or jewellery.

The idea came to me when I was a kid looking for golf balls

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Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit

Healing tank. I've seen the bacta tank in Star Wars and the wax bath in Wanted. Basically you go in the bath/tank injured then come out a few hours later healed.

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Jesterstear99@reddit

A glasses cleaning machine that uses cheap chemicals. (So it doesn't cost £1 every time I use it)

I just place my glasses in a drawer/slot, press a button and 30 seconds later they come out crystal clear and smear free.

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insanityarise@reddit

Star Trek's replicator.

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Salassi22@reddit

Could your sleep machine be like a big microwave and you just turn the dial and lay down inside and it spins you and keeps you warm while it gets you swiftly to sleep?

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mellonians@reddit

A GPS vehicle journey logger and dashboard clock and Speedo. I accept this isn't an impossible thing to invent, but I have to record each journey I do for expense/tax reasons. I also want to know the accurate time and accurate speed in a head up display as I drive in a lot of bus lanes which are open for all vehicles at certain times. I also find the concept of a dashboard clock that you have to set ridiculous as the vehicle has GPS so knows exactly what time it is more accurately than anything else on the planet bar a stratum 0 atomic clock, AND knows where it is so knows what the time zone should be!

Something like a dashboard version of this with just the time in HH:MM and the speed and will upload a journey log when I park outside my house.

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elhazelenby@reddit

I would like something that would send an alert when I've put something in the wrong place. I have ADHD and I'm always misplacing things and losing them.

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UltimateT1tan@reddit

I'm on clonazpam that helps with sleep but the down side is the next morning a big side effect is drowsiness almost like a bad hangover without the headache

If I could invent one thing is would be a serotonin button to bring the colour back to the world

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SavageRabbitX@reddit

Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons.

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Enigma_Green@reddit

Money tree

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Moppo_@reddit

Something that makes dust fuck off already.

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nocreative@reddit

Can i have a machine that removes the need to sleep?

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No-Advertising1002@reddit

Time. Pay for a cleaner, pay for a gardener etc.

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33and5@reddit

Na, just time. I know how I want my shit cleaned. How I want my garden 'gardened'. I just want more time to do those things

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BigBlueMountainStar@reddit

Fuck that, we used to have a cleaner and it was awesome. Since she’s left we have to clean for ourselves again and it sucks big time

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BigBlueMountainStar@reddit

I’d like a nice simple way to get rid of the really annoying floater I have in my right eye.
And not, I don’t mean a turd.

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Jumpy-Jello-@reddit

That would literally cure my narcolepsy, so I'll have that too.

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Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)

Dw if I ever manage it u both get first dibs free of charge 😊

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insomnimax_99@reddit

Same here please.

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Macrihanishautomatic@reddit

A pair of robotic trousers that take my dog for a walk when I don’t have time.

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Ageing_Changeling@reddit

Good idea, nothing could possibly go wrong with that. Just don't let out your spare room to that chicken...

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BigBlueMountainStar@reddit

Wallace, is that you?

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McBahtman@reddit

Ah but you see, it attracts evil penguin thieves...

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Mecryyou@reddit

Some sort of quick and odourless bowel evacuation system. Use at your convenience, never hve your body betray you at an inconvenient moment.

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melanie110@reddit

A teleportation machine.

It’s all well and good doing an 8 hour road trip on the way as you’re all excited to be going, but fuck me, the drive home or flight home is horrific. It is only for return journeys though. Vehicle included if you take the car.

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Smellycooter123@reddit

I used to dream of this as a child - someone with lifelong insomnia

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External-Praline-451@reddit

Me too, I'd pay thousands for it (if I had thousands)!

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mward_shalamalam@reddit

Sounds like Xanax and an alarm clock lol

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Etheria_system@reddit

We don’t have Xanax in the uk

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mward_shalamalam@reddit

Not legally, no.

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SixCardRoulette@reddit

I tried zopiclone once when it was prescribed to me. It did fuck all to help me go to sleep, I was still awake at nearly 5am, but then when I DID fall asleep I was out until the afternoon, slept through my alarm and multiple calls from work asking where I was. Also my mouth tasted like I'd cleaned the bath with my tongue.

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mward_shalamalam@reddit

It’s weird because it’s supposed to work the other way round. It’s supposed to help fall asleep, but not keep you asleep. But staying up until 5am will probably do that to you! Yeah, the after taste is horrible. I’ve been prescribed promethazine for sleep before, wasn’t amazing. Helped though

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clutchnorris123@reddit

Benzos are the most popular drug in Scotland

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Tao626@reddit

I would invent monkeys.

They would be like people but smaller, more hairy and will stereotypically like bananas.

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Danglyweed@reddit

I love the sound of this sleep machine, can you hurry up and invent it please.

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Thi13een@reddit

A one million pound machine. Every time I press a button I get one million pounds. Ideal.

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soulsteela@reddit

Some sort of belt or harness that lets you dial down gravity so the pain from the arthritis is less when I move around.

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littlehamster_@reddit

A cure to migraines so I could stop worrying over if a bright light is going to trigger a migraine and ruin my day and I could eat what I want.

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Etheria_system@reddit

Teleport system so I could easily access places in my wheelchair

Anti bacterial/mbcrobial/viral bubble so that I could safely go outside without a mask again and have friends over to my house without them needing to wear one either (before anyone starts - I’m severely immunocompromised, yes I know masking isn’t a perfect option, no I’m not going to change my mind based on what you think I should do)

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milrose404@reddit

also a wheelchair user and mask wearer and this is extremely relatable

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Etheria_system@reddit

My quality of life would improve so dramatically. I can’t drive and none of my carers drive (and I couldn’t afford a WAV either on benefits) so I rely on 6 seater black cabs - so expensive, so unreliable.

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MercuryJellyfish@reddit

Something like a Rick Sanchez portal gun. Probably not an interdimensional one, that's asking for trouble.

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Strange_Recording931@reddit

A cure for Parkinson’s

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ManIsready@reddit

Free Weed

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diive_bolohunter1OK@reddit

a magic button that instantly files my taxes correctly and submits them, mine always ends up a mess from me second-guessing every number

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

Yes please, I'll go in on the Kickstarter.

Approaching late 40s I suddenly only need 6 hours, max. Other half needs 8-9.

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tellybox_x@reddit

One of these for my toddler would be great 😅

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Lynvor@reddit

I second the sleep thing.

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Terrible-Bad-9002@reddit

I could convince just one boomer to sell their house to me for a reasonable price (100k)

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EuphoricFly1044@reddit

Anti noise device. Point it at the noisy thing and it instantly blocks out the sound completely

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YouCantArgueWithThis@reddit

Transporter.

Scotty, beam me up!

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NeedCake707@reddit

A cure for my illnesses XD

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roslid@reddit

Ah, insomnia. I have not slept well since I was teenager and it seems to run in the family as it's been same for my Mom and sadly is for my older daughter. Two years ago got prescribe a not-sleeping-tablet medication and since then been sleeping much better. For first few weeks I was absolutely astonished how different it feels to actually wake up rested

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GeggingIn@reddit

An extendable bionic arm for putting away shopping and doing the drains.

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Hampshire-UK@reddit

X ray glasses

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kittykat7931@reddit

A teleport that not only moved me from place to place but ensured I was dressed appropriately for whatever I was going to be doing.

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PeaceOrchid@reddit

[ Removed by Reddit ]

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Cheese_Dinosaur@reddit

Ooooo! Um, an easier way to change the bed! A magical bin emptier! Something to keep me from feeling tired allllll day! To ‘eat-normally-and-not-have-to-worry-about-putting-on-weight’ special tablet thing! (Shallow, but I’m sick of having to watch every single calorie…!😔)

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