If you could invent one thing that would benefit you, what would it be?
Posted by Sufficient_Return653@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 149 comments
Mine would be a sleep switch/machine that makes you get straight to sleep with no fussing. You would punch in what time you would like to wake up on the dial and off you go lol. Would be a great timesaver and would be amazing to wake up each morning feeling well rested.
anabsentfriend@reddit
I pod that I could walk in when I get up in the morning. It would shower me, wash, dry and style my hair, do my make up, out my clothes on me and hand me a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea.
ForwardImagination71@reddit
I'm pretty sure there was a TV advert like this in the 1980s / 1990s but I can't fit the life of me remember what it was for.
anabsentfriend@reddit
Maybe it's lodged in my subconscious!
Spin4team4096@reddit
reminds me of wall-e
catsaregreat78@reddit
This would be amazing.
bellabanjsk@reddit
A Bernard’s watch situation where I could stop time for a bit (but not age). So like, if I wanted to go swimming I could stop time so my kiddo was safe but I didn’t have to parent, go to a pool and have a lovely time and then maybe head home, have a nap, and then clock back into parenting when I was ready!
RoyalyMcBooty@reddit
If I could stop time I would use it to belittle everyone.
Imagine having an arguement with someone and you feel that they're starting to win the conversation, so you just stop time and pull their pants down...nerds.
DIY_at_the_Griffs@reddit
Ha! Amazing! 🤩
DIY_at_the_Griffs@reddit
Man. I’d spend so much more time in pause land than reality, this’d be awesome.
bellabanjsk@reddit
Haha me too! I’d be so much more emotionally happier in the non pause time, for having had time to myself and sleep!
philff1973@reddit
A machine you put bread in then toast comes out of it later.
Bifanarama@reddit
Would be amazing! We've put a man on the moon, and created AI. Surely it's only a matter of time now.
philff1973@reddit
I have heard through a friend of a friend that they are working on something you put water in and a bit later hotter water comes out of it ……. We are truly living through miracle days.
Imaginary_Finger7844@reddit
Definitely a sleep machine. No better feeling than imagining a restful eight hours sleep.
Start working on it please.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
a pill that i take once daily to ensure i get all of my nutritional and caloric needs without having to eat
bellabanjsk@reddit
I think I’d prefer a pill that removed all the bad stuff from what I had already eaten, like saturated fat, and kept all the good stuff/added anything that was missing.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
nah i just need a pill to enable my laziness
Amazing-Heron-105@reddit
You could take amphetamines for a while. You won't want to eat for quite a while. The house will also become spotless too.
bellabanjsk@reddit
Excellent
BuGMoiDroit@reddit
There are medications that remove a lot of fat from what you eat. If you don't mind yellow, oily diarrhea.
Legitimate-Lock9965@reddit
then we'd still get to enjoy eating.
fuckedsince1991@reddit
Fuck that love me some food haha
EuroSong@reddit
That sounds terrible. One of life’s great pleasures is eating excellent food.
autobulb@reddit
This is seriously the most depressing thing I've read in a good long while.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
not for me. a good iced coffee on the other hand…
Boboshady@reddit
Probably possible, but you might not like the size of the pill, OR where you'd have to ingest it.
Hint - it wouldn't be something you swallowed...
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
how else would i ingest it
insanityarise@reddit
intero-rectogestion
Boboshady@reddit
Bend over, relax, and I'll show you.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
brother what the fuck
Boboshady@reddit
Dude, you never heard of suppositories?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
lol no. i had to google it
Boboshady@reddit
Quite literally an eye-opener for you then :)
h00dman@reddit
Well it's an opening for sure.
h00dman@reddit
Up your bum.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i’m scared
Sjuk86@reddit
glasgowgeg@reddit
Do you only see food as a source of nutrients and not enjoyment?
Having it be a single pill without having to eat just sounds dystopic and miserable.
If the form isn't a deal-breaker, can't you just use slop like Huel?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
yup, i really don’t enjoy food much. i have dishes i’d rather eat but nothing is super delicious to me or anything. i find it such a bother to have to eat and prepare food several times a day. sometimes i skip meals and dont eat just because the idea of preparing food annoys me even just thinking about it
Miss_Type@reddit
I'm the same. I can't wait for someone to invent a tablet that replaces food. It's such a hassle. I end up just eating the same thing for 6 weeks, so I don't have to think about it.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i’m so glad it’s not just me. i have five dishes on rotation that take 20 minutes to make because i don’t have the patience for anything else
glasgowgeg@reddit
You don't think your perfect caloric pill wouldn't be priced similarly?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
perhaps but it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t really matter does it
i’ve only ever seen it in holland and barrett’s where its so expensive
Vequihellin@reddit
As someone with Audhd who has zero concept of bodily hunger, this would be amazing.
Ok_Young1709@reddit
How about a smoothie rather than a pill?
glasgowgeg@reddit
You're just reinventing Huel at that point.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
a pill is quick and gets it out the way
RonBonxious@reddit
Building on your invention, I'd like a switch that stops me from dreaming.
Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)
How come can I ask? Do you suffer with nightmares?
I love dreaming I can’t lie, they are always like full on stories.
But yes I’ll invent an additional plug in to go with it to turn them off just for you lol
RonBonxious@reddit
Not nightmares, just a lot going on so I wake up feeling mentally exhausted!
leoarw@reddit
Time Machine so I could go back and spend time with my deceased husband.
dudius399@reddit
That's lovely but, if you used it properly, you could spend time with him whilst he was alive.
leoarw@reddit
That gave me a little tickle thank you 😂
dudius399@reddit
Shears the best medicine. Seriously, though; condolences. Xx
TedWasler@reddit
Coathangers that hold clothes when you want them to hold them, and let the clothes go when you want to get them out of the wardrobe. All current designs appear to do the exact opposit.
Afraid-Astronomer886@reddit
A robot that changes my bed sheets. It's my most hated household chore
melanie110@reddit
See, I don’t mind that one but I do it every other day
Amazing-Heron-105@reddit
Every other day is surely a sign of mental illness 😂
melanie110@reddit
Probably but night sweats are tough
Afraid-Astronomer886@reddit
I get so sweaty and flustered and I can never get the duvet in properly. It stresses me out unnecessarily lol
Bossman_Mike@reddit
The duvet is witchcraft. None of those "hacks" work worth a damn for me and it's always a total mess.
melanie110@reddit
Hahah yes. Definitely like doing a spin class after
33and5@reddit
'every 2 weeks'... Sure...
fuckedsince1991@reddit
Time Machine is the one surely?? Not thought it all through though. But gotta be the best thing?
DistinctBuilder8503@reddit
A clone so I could send the bastard to work for me
Amazing-Heron-105@reddit
Think of your poor Innie
jilljd38@reddit
As a menopausal woman please please invent your amazing sleep machine, I'm absolutely fed up of waking between 3.30 and 5.00am when I have absolutely no given need to , I'm running on caffeine and exhaustion
EmmaInFrance@reddit
Same.
I would also like something that restored my formerly excellent memory and 'demisted' the brain fog.
And yes, I'm already on a high HRT dose.
Spin4team4096@reddit
The ability to download any skill into your brain, like in The Matrix movie
Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)
Yeah this is a good one 👏🏼
Sea-Still5427@reddit
A few friends like I had in my teens and twenties, when we were together all the time.
EvanTurningTheCorner@reddit
A sleep controller, so I can sleep exactly how and how long I want to. E.g. I can press a button and instantly be out for the next eight hours, or get a solid hour of deep sleep. Or ten minutes of light sleep.
This would be life changing for me as sleep has always been a problem. The more I need to fall asleep, the harder it is, so I always have to schedule my life so that I have at least an hour or two more time for sleeping than I actually need to sleep. I can't really do jobs that require waking up early, as I will end up extremely sleep deprived.
I am also completely unable to take naps, as I never know how long it will take to fall asleep (if I will at all) and once I do fall asleep I might be out for hours. But if I set an alarm, I probably won't fall asleep in time for it to be useful.
Just extremely frustrating all around. If I could program my sleep like I program the microwave, my life would be so much easier, and I would be so much better rested.
Spicymargx@reddit
A robot that tidies rather than cleans - unloads the dishwasher, puts clothes away, picks things up and puts them in their home.
FinancialBread4660@reddit
Hell yeah, this…… fucking hate folding laundry and packing the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher is more tolerable for some reason….
Far-Radio856@reddit
You need a wife /s
Spicymargx@reddit
I am my wife
BigBlueMountainStar@reddit
Plot twist, your husband is the robot, but he’s out working in the factory all day building cars.
Spicymargx@reddit
Now if only he could build me that damn robot…
JakkRabbitt-@reddit
My wife read this over my shoulder and lovingly punched me in the arm.
_Planemad_@reddit
An automatic garlic peeler. I think about every time I peel garlic.
Darwen85@reddit
I picked up a little flexible tube last time I was in Spain, you chuck your garlic in press down gentle and roll it back and forth a couple times and out comes your garlic peeled.
Just googled garlic peeling tube.
They are couple quid online.
Easiest method I've found.
DarthScabies@reddit
I found they dont work with really fresh garlic. If they're left for a couple of days the skin loosens and they work really well.
External-Praline-451@reddit
Give the bulb a little squish and roll with your palm to loosen the peel. Then cut the base off, and the rest peels off with it super easy.
33and5@reddit
I just brake it from the bulb, bend it a bit, peal the skin off... I think your doing it wrong
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
Microwave for ten seconds.
I mean, you should be able to peel one clove in ten (whack, then peel), but if you've got loads to do it works.
DeeplyCooked@reddit
A traffic-light switching button in my car. May cause chaos to everyone else though.
ForwardImagination71@reddit
Become a bus or tram driver 😜
Fureniku@reddit
I have one of these actually and it's an absolute game changer! I got diagnosed with sleep apnoea, and my body has since learned that putting on the CPAP mask = bed time and I zonk out in <5 mins. Generally a shit condition to deal with but this is the one perk.
As for the invention, I'm going through routine procedures for another thing I have, and have to go through painful sessions every two weeks for about a year (due to finish in October). If someone made a device that just consolidated the whole process to one session, I'd take it in a heartbeat even if it amplified the pain to be every session at once
mrmazola@reddit
A universal detecter. Just tell it what I'm looking for (my car keys, that cable that charges my shaver, etc) and it will show up on a little radar screen like in Aliens or whatever.
You could also use it for general terms like standing in a field and telling it money, magic mushrooms or jewellery.
The idea came to me when I was a kid looking for golf balls
Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit
Healing tank. I've seen the bacta tank in Star Wars and the wax bath in Wanted. Basically you go in the bath/tank injured then come out a few hours later healed.
Jesterstear99@reddit
A glasses cleaning machine that uses cheap chemicals. (So it doesn't cost £1 every time I use it)
I just place my glasses in a drawer/slot, press a button and 30 seconds later they come out crystal clear and smear free.
insanityarise@reddit
Star Trek's replicator.
Salassi22@reddit
Could your sleep machine be like a big microwave and you just turn the dial and lay down inside and it spins you and keeps you warm while it gets you swiftly to sleep?
mellonians@reddit
A GPS vehicle journey logger and dashboard clock and Speedo. I accept this isn't an impossible thing to invent, but I have to record each journey I do for expense/tax reasons. I also want to know the accurate time and accurate speed in a head up display as I drive in a lot of bus lanes which are open for all vehicles at certain times. I also find the concept of a dashboard clock that you have to set ridiculous as the vehicle has GPS so knows exactly what time it is more accurately than anything else on the planet bar a stratum 0 atomic clock, AND knows where it is so knows what the time zone should be!
Something like a dashboard version of this with just the time in HH:MM and the speed and will upload a journey log when I park outside my house.
elhazelenby@reddit
I would like something that would send an alert when I've put something in the wrong place. I have ADHD and I'm always misplacing things and losing them.
UltimateT1tan@reddit
I'm on clonazpam that helps with sleep but the down side is the next morning a big side effect is drowsiness almost like a bad hangover without the headache
If I could invent one thing is would be a serotonin button to bring the colour back to the world
SavageRabbitX@reddit
Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons.
Enigma_Green@reddit
Money tree
Moppo_@reddit
Something that makes dust fuck off already.
nocreative@reddit
Can i have a machine that removes the need to sleep?
No-Advertising1002@reddit
Time. Pay for a cleaner, pay for a gardener etc.
33and5@reddit
Na, just time. I know how I want my shit cleaned. How I want my garden 'gardened'. I just want more time to do those things
BigBlueMountainStar@reddit
Fuck that, we used to have a cleaner and it was awesome. Since she’s left we have to clean for ourselves again and it sucks big time
BigBlueMountainStar@reddit
I’d like a nice simple way to get rid of the really annoying floater I have in my right eye.
And not, I don’t mean a turd.
Jumpy-Jello-@reddit
That would literally cure my narcolepsy, so I'll have that too.
Sufficient_Return653@reddit (OP)
Dw if I ever manage it u both get first dibs free of charge 😊
insomnimax_99@reddit
Same here please.
Macrihanishautomatic@reddit
A pair of robotic trousers that take my dog for a walk when I don’t have time.
Ageing_Changeling@reddit
Good idea, nothing could possibly go wrong with that. Just don't let out your spare room to that chicken...
BigBlueMountainStar@reddit
Wallace, is that you?
McBahtman@reddit
Ah but you see, it attracts evil penguin thieves...
Mecryyou@reddit
Some sort of quick and odourless bowel evacuation system. Use at your convenience, never hve your body betray you at an inconvenient moment.
melanie110@reddit
A teleportation machine.
It’s all well and good doing an 8 hour road trip on the way as you’re all excited to be going, but fuck me, the drive home or flight home is horrific. It is only for return journeys though. Vehicle included if you take the car.
Smellycooter123@reddit
I used to dream of this as a child - someone with lifelong insomnia
External-Praline-451@reddit
Me too, I'd pay thousands for it (if I had thousands)!
mward_shalamalam@reddit
Sounds like Xanax and an alarm clock lol
Etheria_system@reddit
We don’t have Xanax in the uk
mward_shalamalam@reddit
Not legally, no.
SixCardRoulette@reddit
I tried zopiclone once when it was prescribed to me. It did fuck all to help me go to sleep, I was still awake at nearly 5am, but then when I DID fall asleep I was out until the afternoon, slept through my alarm and multiple calls from work asking where I was. Also my mouth tasted like I'd cleaned the bath with my tongue.
mward_shalamalam@reddit
It’s weird because it’s supposed to work the other way round. It’s supposed to help fall asleep, but not keep you asleep. But staying up until 5am will probably do that to you! Yeah, the after taste is horrible. I’ve been prescribed promethazine for sleep before, wasn’t amazing. Helped though
clutchnorris123@reddit
Benzos are the most popular drug in Scotland
Tao626@reddit
I would invent monkeys.
They would be like people but smaller, more hairy and will stereotypically like bananas.
Danglyweed@reddit
I love the sound of this sleep machine, can you hurry up and invent it please.
Thi13een@reddit
A one million pound machine. Every time I press a button I get one million pounds. Ideal.
soulsteela@reddit
Some sort of belt or harness that lets you dial down gravity so the pain from the arthritis is less when I move around.
littlehamster_@reddit
A cure to migraines so I could stop worrying over if a bright light is going to trigger a migraine and ruin my day and I could eat what I want.
Etheria_system@reddit
Teleport system so I could easily access places in my wheelchair
Anti bacterial/mbcrobial/viral bubble so that I could safely go outside without a mask again and have friends over to my house without them needing to wear one either (before anyone starts - I’m severely immunocompromised, yes I know masking isn’t a perfect option, no I’m not going to change my mind based on what you think I should do)
milrose404@reddit
also a wheelchair user and mask wearer and this is extremely relatable
Etheria_system@reddit
My quality of life would improve so dramatically. I can’t drive and none of my carers drive (and I couldn’t afford a WAV either on benefits) so I rely on 6 seater black cabs - so expensive, so unreliable.
MercuryJellyfish@reddit
Something like a Rick Sanchez portal gun. Probably not an interdimensional one, that's asking for trouble.
Strange_Recording931@reddit
A cure for Parkinson’s
ManIsready@reddit
Free Weed
diive_bolohunter1OK@reddit
a magic button that instantly files my taxes correctly and submits them, mine always ends up a mess from me second-guessing every number
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
Yes please, I'll go in on the Kickstarter.
Approaching late 40s I suddenly only need 6 hours, max. Other half needs 8-9.
tellybox_x@reddit
One of these for my toddler would be great 😅
Lynvor@reddit
I second the sleep thing.
Terrible-Bad-9002@reddit
I could convince just one boomer to sell their house to me for a reasonable price (100k)
EuphoricFly1044@reddit
Anti noise device. Point it at the noisy thing and it instantly blocks out the sound completely
YouCantArgueWithThis@reddit
Transporter.
Scotty, beam me up!
NeedCake707@reddit
A cure for my illnesses XD
roslid@reddit
Ah, insomnia. I have not slept well since I was teenager and it seems to run in the family as it's been same for my Mom and sadly is for my older daughter. Two years ago got prescribe a not-sleeping-tablet medication and since then been sleeping much better. For first few weeks I was absolutely astonished how different it feels to actually wake up rested
GeggingIn@reddit
An extendable bionic arm for putting away shopping and doing the drains.
Hampshire-UK@reddit
X ray glasses
kittykat7931@reddit
A teleport that not only moved me from place to place but ensured I was dressed appropriately for whatever I was going to be doing.
PeaceOrchid@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Cheese_Dinosaur@reddit
Ooooo! Um, an easier way to change the bed! A magical bin emptier! Something to keep me from feeling tired allllll day! To ‘eat-normally-and-not-have-to-worry-about-putting-on-weight’ special tablet thing! (Shallow, but I’m sick of having to watch every single calorie…!😔)
Economy_Survey_6560@reddit
A partner.
Ok_Note_2791@reddit
hmm that is a very good idea, I'm tempted too. but realistically looking at picking up and retaining information as once
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