Spouse's 50th birthday is approaching. What did you want for your 50th?

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KimBrrr1975@reddit

Show him daily instead of using his bday as a reason to make it about him. I don't like birthdays either. Not because I didn't like turning 50, or whatever, but because my bday is right before xmas and it's just yet another thing I have to deal with at my busiest, most miserable time of year 😂

My husband makes me my favorite meal and suffers through whatever movie I might want to watch. But much more important than my BD, he looks after me all the time. He tells me he'll manage X chore (or whatever) so I can go hiking. So take something off his plate. Do the spring yard work or whatever. Gas up his car. Clean the garage. Figure out how to fix the thing you keep nagging him to fix. Make him something he likes. Bake his cake yourself from scratch and laugh when it's lopsided. All that stuff matters more.

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Jas62021@reddit

I wanted, and had planned and paid for a trip to Universal Orlando.
What I got was a fight with the airline and hotel because of the pandemic. A global pandemic was not covered by the travel insurance I’d purchased

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JDDinVA@reddit

I bought myself a used Porsche. I usually don’t want gifts. I wasn’t really considering a sports car. My wife found it online and said “I’d look cute in that” (she does). She goaded me into taking a test drive and I fell in love with it. It cost less than a most new cars and it gives me great joy (except when it needs repairs, but WTH, you only live once, right?)

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drinkslinger1974@reddit

My son was sick for my 50th, so the day of was going to a Van Gogh exhibit with my 3 year old daughter, and while I was gone my wife remembered that it was my birthday and ripped a piece out of my sketchbook and went to cvs and got a frame for it. The next day I had a funeral to attend. If I could get a do over it would be great, but I’d have to say that 50 was probably the most miserable birthday I’d ever had.

If I did have it to do over, probably either a cookout or a dinner of some sort with a bunch of friends and then home for time with the kids.

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deamayn@reddit

I went to Italy with girlfriends for my 50th. Paid for part with our money and for the rest, a part time job to get me over the hump. I was home on my actual birthday and just wanted a nice day with family. We went for a walk, picked up my favorite pastries, and our kids came for dinner on our patio. No cooking or dish duty for me. Perfection! Maybe focus on doing little thoughtful things he enjoys. My husbands bday is today. He doesn’t want to do anything big - just dinner with the kids. But I picked up his favorites - ice cream and ingredients to make his favorite cocktail and just finished baking his cake.

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Janet296@reddit

Maybe I am different but I don’t want gifts. I want experiences. Just in general on my birthday, I like to go/see something I that I haven’t experienced yet. I also want to go to a restaurant and eat food that I’ve never tried before.

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Round_Ad8947@reddit

Peace, love, and understanding.

This weirdly make people unhappy: those who are materialistic and those who believe that I’m complaining that I’m not getting enough.

It’s literally the best gift to receive. I love it even when it’s not my birthday

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Ancient-Cow-1038@reddit

I don’t find anything funny about that.

gif

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SavoirFaire2Middling@reddit

You've pictured the wrong guy.

For my 50th, I was going through a divorce. Did a last minute trip to Vegas with friends and it ended up being a great time.

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CryptographerOk3814@reddit

I wanted a pair of the original black and red Air Jordan’s that I had when I was in 7th grade.

So that’s what my wife got me.

And I felt like a badass. Brought back a lot of memories. Those first Air Jordans were THE shoe to have in ‘85/‘86.

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antsonthetree@reddit

He wants an 85 inch TV.

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Thin-Quiet-2283@reddit

Cruise for my 50th, day of beer/breweries in Brugge Belgium for my husbands 50th.

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NicolleL@reddit

You know your husband best. Would he appreciate something sentimental? Like 50 notes (where you write 50 notes of love, happy/funny memories, etc) in a box. I think it’s the sort of thing that some people would love and others wouldn’t care (love languages and all that stuff). If he’s in the first category, it’s something you put time and dedication into.

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hdaledazzler@reddit

I’m sorry for your loss

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Square_Ad_4929@reddit

Just to hang out with family and friends.

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ncpowderhound@reddit

I didn’t want anything, and did not even want to be in town. My family respected my wishes and simply wished me a happy birthday. No gifts. No surprises. We took a vacation that week.

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RabbitsAteMySnowpeas@reddit

A yard full of pink flamingos

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millygraceandfee@reddit

I didn't want a 100 person party. Too much for me to handle.

Over a 2 month period, I did weekends away with my different clusters of friends. The best one was the one in my own city.

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RobotMower@reddit

A Legacy Experience With His People

• A curated “50 Years of You” dinner with 10–15 people who shaped him. Each person brings one story or lesson he gave them.

• A surprise weekend retreat with his closest circle — not a party, but a “chapter shift” gathering.

• A private chef dinner at home where each course represents a decade of his life.

A Personal Legacy Artifact

Something he’ll keep for life and pass down.

Options:

• A custom leather-bound “Letters to a 50-Year-Old” book — you gather letters from family, friends, mentors, kids, colleagues.

• A custom-made heirloom item (knife, watch, fountain pen, ring, or wooden box) engraved with something meaningful.

A Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience

Examples:

• Drive a supercar on a racetrack with a pro driver.

• A private behind-the-scenes experience with something he loves (sports team, musician, chef, military aircraft, etc.).

• A curated adventure trip: Iceland, Patagonia, Scotland whisky trail, African safari, etc.

• A “50th Year Bucket List Kickoff” — you help him choose 3 things he’s always wanted to do and schedule the first one.

A Deeply Personal Tribute Video

You collect 20–40 short clips from people across his life:

• childhood friends • old teammates • coworkers • kids • siblings • mentors • people he helped without realizing it

You stitch it into a 8-10 minute film you could show at dinner or over cocktails.

Your Hometown idea is great and maybe arrange to get into his old high school to look around a bit if he enjoyed school, sports, etc. It might bring some good memories.

Turning 50, with a failed marriage, job on the downward slide, living alone again after 20 odd years…what I wanted was peace.

You want to do something to show him he’s special, but that’s really about you and your feelings, not his.

Lol, that sounds harsh, but I mean it in a friendly way.

Do the weekend. Make it fun and light without making it about his birthday at all. Just be in the moment with him.

If he wants to talk over his feelings about being 50, listen to him without trying to change the mood or foisting your idea of what a birthday has to mean upon him.

Oh, I know it would. If FB had a separate marketplace ap it wIuld be great also.

To quote Paul Oakenfold

Sex and Money.

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SlutForDownVotes@reddit

Take a trip to a different city for a great concert.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

I didn’t want anything, but a good friend of ours ended up coming into town for the weekend so it was fun to hang with him and we all went out to dinner, played D&D, and made drinks.

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Handbag_Lady@reddit

I ran away to Tahiti for my 50th snd spent that first half of the day in a spa at the Moorea Intercontinental while my husband canoed. The second half was floating in the ocean seeing sharks and then dinner at a steakhouse where I got to walk into the wine cellar and pick whatever I wanted.

For my 30th, I burst into tears in a restaurant with family because I was getting too old too fast.

I agree.. I would just make him his favourite dinner, maybe have a quiet movie night with his fave show(s) or something he’s wanted to see with a bunch of his fave snacks and gift(s)

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Automatic-Evidence26@reddit

2 inch Thick Ribeye Medium Rare Cheesy Califlower Buttered Corn

My husband and I rarely go anywhere (never even went on a honeymoon), but I told him that I want to go to Austria and do one of the Sound of Music tours.

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Holkie75@reddit

Always choose an experience.

I like a themed party to celebrate big birthdays. My 40th was an 80s theme, and my 50th was a "party at the old folks home" theme. People who dressed as old folks got "resident" name tags, people who dressed as doctors or nurses got "staff" name tags, and people who opted not to dress up got "visitor" tags. We had jello shots in syringes, jelly bean pills in medication bottles, crystal bowls with Werthers and those strawberry candies, Afghans as table cloths, a people bingo, scavenger hunt, and karaoke (recreation activities). It was a flipping blast!

I never really thought about what I wanted, but what I got was 2 surprise parties! about 35 people at a restaurant and then about 50 at a camping event. I was very humbled that so many people came out for dinner, shocked in fact, then for the camp, well I knew everyone was going to be there camping, but I had no idea they would do one night as a party for my birthday! very blessed ❤

But for your hubby, if he doesn't like parties like that, I would do a small dinner party with just you and maybe a couple close friends.

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Immediate_Many_2898@reddit

I wanted to be 40. Make it about them not 50.

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foilrat@reddit

It wasn't anything big. I have a group of guys who have been celebrating our birthdays for the last 20 years. I have the same birthday as a friend, so we just started going things together.

A month or so after my birthday, I went to Portugal with some other friends for a week. That was awesome!

If he doesn't want to do anything, then don't.

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I stopped asking for stuff a while back. I want experiences; things I can share with other people.

hattenwheeza@reddit

Such a cool little town! River trails there made me fall in love with WV

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integrator74@reddit

steak and BJ night!

Or get a few friends together and go have dinner. If he doesn’t want a big deal, keep it simple with just a few people.

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Desperate_County_680@reddit

We and some friends ate a burger place then walked to a taphouse.

Ubered home.

Got together for breakfast the next morning.

I just stopped celebrating my birthday at some point. It was nice enough to have people fuss and prepare food and games and presents and feel like a princess as a kid. But I've never been much of a social creature and if I want cake or ice cream or some other special thing, I don't need the stars or planets to be in alignment as an excuse.

So, I neither wanted nor did anything special for my 50th. Although it was during COVID and we did eventually splurge to better accommodate our work from home situation. So maybe that was my birthday present.

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skinisblackmetallic@reddit

For all obligations to be eliminated.

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stunneddisbelief@reddit

I'm a huge fan of 50s music, so I wanted a 50s themed party. I curated a whole playlist. My BiL's gf at the time and I dressed up in poodle skirts etc etc. My now-ex was (still is) the kind of person that has to have everything his way or he makes everyone else miserable. On normal hangouts he would complain if anyone added songs to the YouTube queue that weren't his preferred genre (think Sirius Octane and Turbo). He also wasn't happy if the volume wasn't cranked to the level where nobody else could have a conversation without shouting.

I wasn't asking for an entire night of 50s tunes, just an hour or so. I got about 20 minutes before he changed it back to his music.

dreaminginteal@reddit

I had a party in the back yard. Mom (and my wife also, I think?) got me a Lego Porsche GT-3. It was a good day.

For my 40th, I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Did their whole birthday thing, with the special button and all. Obviously it's intended for kids, but I had fun with it.

For me, I decided to make 50 a year when I gave myself permission to do things I normally wouldn't do. I went on a five day road trip with a friend and I am planning on at least one more multi-day get away. It has been pretty great, even if it is a bit sad that I am getting older.

One other thing I decided to do was spend a lot more time planning what the next 5-15 years of my life will look like, which is still an ongoing process, but is setting the runway for retirement.

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EquivalentStomach5@reddit

Nothing. Less is more when it comes to people

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zyeu9@reddit

Un bijou significatif

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nottodaysatan317@reddit

Peace and quiet

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froction@reddit

To be left alone.

Or for her to just sit on my face the whole day.

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lewisfairchild@reddit

Sit & Spin

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OtakuTacos@reddit

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I'm a bit the same in that I don't like a fuss either. So I didn't mind that my 50th was during lockdown. Had a quiet time at home. My parents bought me a nice watch and my sister sent me a cake and flowers. Maybe cook him a nice meal, watch a movie and eat some cake. Just keep it low key.

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Wraisted@reddit

Get him a toy from when he was little, or something from 1976

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PreviousAd8450@reddit

What a thoughtful idea. I personally would love this. 😆 My husband turned 50 today. He couldn’t care less. 🤦🏻‍♀️ He’s never been one to wax poetic about milestone birthdays. But this is a really great idea!

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aburena2@reddit

To be left alone. I’m not big on birthday celebrations for me. Not that I’m unhappy about getting older it’s just I was one to not make a big deal out of them. Although, happy and grateful to have hit those milestones (I am now 60) in good health. I do appreciate going out to a nice restaurant and have a nice meal. Try that. He may be happy with that.

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Pinepark@reddit

That’s how my husband is. He didn’t want a party. He really didn’t want gifts. I made him his favorite dinner and ordered a bunch of hot sauce and jerky and spicy shit. (Heartburn be dammed!)

I told him for my 50th this year I just wanna get the fuck away from everyone who needs me for something. Parents. Kids. Pets. He can join but he better not ask for shit. lol That’s all I want. Like 2 days away. Or pretend we left and just stay home and don’t answer the phone or the door lol

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UnitedIntroverts@reddit

My husband got into birding so I got him a camera, that takes amazing bird pictures

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formernonhandwasher@reddit

Did want much but instead my wife surprised me me with F1 weekend in Montreal. We’re from Detroit area and took a road trip in our camper van with our four year old. She even arranged it with my boss to take Monday off so we could have a relaxing drive home. Didn’t know I wanted it, but I loved it.

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Brave-Chain2703@reddit

What we wanted doesn't matter give him what he wants which sounds like low key quality time.

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filledoux@reddit

I wanted to do nothing on my 50th, so i took a whole week off. Didn’t cook but claimed my free meals and coffee and cake and whatever freebies I can on my birthday week. No fanfare.

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Micheal_Noine_Noine@reddit

Sensitive readers, please do not read my comment - continue to scroll

!BJ and steak!<

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Rich_Group_8997@reddit

I wanted to celebrate my 50th but I'm still mostly an afterthought in my family. So I put the kibosh on the half assed gathering my family was going to do and went on a cruise with my bestie. Told my family never to speak of my birthday again because F them. 😐

Would your spouse enjoy a nice vacation and some pampering? 😃

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The sweet embrace of death

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Slight-Bowl4240@reddit

Aw shucks

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radiantwave@reddit

A nap...

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lazytiger40@reddit

I had wanted to take a vacation that week to where I grew up to catch up with old friends and just idk celebrate all things me...about 7 months before that I lost my job and had just gotten back to work just before the big 50, and basically didn't do squat. Money was an issue and our marriage has been struggling since that time, even though we are better financially (meaning at least treading water vs not working) so it was very low key with the kids and I worked that day anyways ...

Compared to 2 years later and I'm paying for a big surprise dinner for my wife and her old friends for her 50th for later this month...

Not doing it to keep score, not expecting anything, just wanting to celebrate her milestone cause I care ..

Still hurts though....

On to planning my 60th I guess ..

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

He doesn't need or want anything, so it's not a monetary issue or lack of gift ideas, it's just .. how do you celebrate someone who doesn't want to be celebrated?

demona2002@reddit

My eldest arranged a surprise party for me. People flew in from out of country. I was surprised, amazed, beyond shocked and very emotional!

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gener4@reddit

Wife and I are going on a trip for mine this December

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Rubberfootman@reddit

They decided a Nixie clock would be a great gift for me, but they didn’t know anything about them, so they let me decide which one.

I researched them, found one, and paid for it myself. I bought my own 50th birthday present.

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TheEvilOfTwoLessers@reddit

Haven’t wanted gifts for years. When people ask what I want, I usually just ask for them to donate to any of several causes I support. When in doubt, the local humane society is always good.

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no-curtains2020@reddit

We went to Vegas for my 50th. My husband we did nothing.

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Twizt1Up@reddit

Haven't celebrated my birthday since I turned 21 back in '87.Now, when people (usually co-workers) ask when's my birthday, I just say 'winter'. Why on earth would I celebrate the day when everything in my life went wrong?

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whistlepig4life@reddit

Quiet dinner with her. Maybe the kids too. But just her and I was fine.

I have always hated having anything to do with my birthday after about 12-13. Not because I'm sad I'm getting older, but it just seems silly for an adult. But absolutely no judgement on anyone that loves to celebrate!

Since everyone knows I want my birthday ignored every year I get Halloween and Kentucky Derby parties. These are my favorite events and I get parties thrown for me, but they aren't really about me, so it works out perfectly. We have had some legendary parties, especially the last few years.

I bet he would love a day to celebrate something he loves that doesn't have that whole birthday thing hanging over it. If he's anything like me he hates getting gifts as well. So a day celebrating something he loves, where i isn't about a birthday and no one thinks about presents, might be good for you all 😄

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irmarbert@reddit

I wanted to play some music with my friends in my backyard. First, we had to make the backyard a habitable zone, so that was some work leading up to the big day, but we got it done and I got to jam with my friends.

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motorhead97@reddit

Ok so this is not the classiest thing to say but... A fucking blowjob. Thats really what he wants. I mean really. Hes not going to say it because he knows the answer and women get all mad about it for some reason but please just a steak a beer and blowjob.

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starksfergie@reddit

We just wanted an experience (me and hubby have birthdays two days apart, so we celebrate in the middle). We went out to Astoria, Oregon for a long weekend just to eat, hike, shop a bit and try and enjoy, but it was Covid (2020 was our 50th) and worse, it was smoky from fires. We still had a good time, but we repeated the weekend the following birthday and last year again and definitely made up for it. But yeah, desire for things isn't as big as we get older. So, my suggestion is take a little trip (ours was just 2 hours away from home), or do some adventure like hiking somewhere new or just reservations at a restaurant that you've always wanted to try but never have - it can be about celebrating the new adventure, not the birthday itself (I mean, hell, it is just a higher number)

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gin_bulag_katorse@reddit

Go on a trip. I personally don't want material gifts. I'm old and can afford the things that i want and need. I don't have to wait for my birthday to get them. I would rather be taken on a trip. Japan, France, Croatia, New Orleans... I'd just like to experience life.

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