Do you feel invisible as a GenX because of your age, gender or both? Or is it just outright age discrimination? Or you just couldn't care less anymore?
Posted by More_Law6245@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 524 comments
Over the last few years I've heard many women say that they feel invisible in society but I also believe this to be true with men in the same age bracket.
Do both genders feel invisible after a certain age? Or is it perceived we have nothing further to offer society. What are your thoughts?
Gullible_ManChild@reddit
Its not a new feeling because of my age, i've always felt invisible to society. I got friends and family - but western society never gave a shit about men without significant money. Its not bad; if its by design, its a decent design - for me anyways. I already feel like I contributed, I didn't need recognition but got some in small limited circles, I'm fine with that. i'm now done and just chilling with family and friends from here on out, supporting friends and family as best I can. What sucks is my kids and their friends seemed beaten and lack any hope (I'm in Canada and we've been failed by decades of terrible policies) - and our governments clearly don't care at all which is sad to witness - our governments are more concerned with bringing in cheap foreign labour for "the economy" and ballooning our population, not developing anything of consequence, etc ... I feel the younger generations are currently more ignored than ours. It doesn't seem like a particularly Canadian thing either, western governments are betraying the youth everywhere allowing this ridiculous mass migration into the west. It really feels like beatings will continue until morale improves.
Growing up Gen X, I would say every Canadian I knew was proud to be Canadian. That's just not true anymore, I'm often embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted and way too often angry at what is happening to the generations after us. Its only in wanting this to change that I want to even contribute to society anymore - and what can I do besides vote accordingly? Yet in Canada, votes lately don't matter, Its so frickin' infuriating. What you vote for can be taken away by the rich guys - that's what is happening in Canada and I assume other places. What's really sad is the world doesn't seem to care what's going on in Canada - we dont' have democracy here and now we have to deal with nothing but state funded mainstream media that is clearly pushing an agenda - its so gross..
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Gawd… I didn’t realize that things politically were going south in Canada, I thought it was just the US. Sorry for my ignorance but I thought this was interesting.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
No Politics - Political posts or comments of any sort are not permitted. If you wish to have political discussions, you may do so on our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
Breaking this rule may result in bans, either temporary or permanent.
Before you make the claim: No, providing respite from political discussions does not infringe on your rights.
Also, this politics ban was put before the sub over a year ago, and members have spoken.
Gold_Structure_668@reddit
I generally don't care, want to just be, with My close circle, but when I make the effort to attempt to share something, to help someone, damn it listen, I learned that lesson the hard way, I'm trying to save you pain or damage !
Eastern-Procedure-31@reddit
Never thought about it… how does one recognize invisibility?
IMTrick@reddit
I'm sort of invisible by choice. I've gotten pretty good over the years at making myself known when I need or want to be, and otherwise doing a really convincing imitation of wallpaper.
CatherineC1979@reddit
I don’t care 🤷🏼♀️ it took effort to reply to this 🤣🤣
marugirl@reddit
59F, I couldn't care less about life in general. I'm not pretty or outgoing so I've been pretty much ignored for years by both sexes. Been single for 14yrs and have only 2 friends. I can smile at people in passing and they just look straight through me. It's lonely and I'm just ready to leave this life now.
KindProperty1538@reddit
This makes me feel bad. Im sorry that is how you describe your life.
marugirl@reddit
It is what it is
Embarrassed_dancer@reddit
As a 60 yo woman, I love being invisible. It's so freeing to not give one single damn what another person thinks about me.
Proteolitic@reddit
As a good GenXer I don't give a dime.
ImpossibleValue9105@reddit
meh
Candleforce-9728@reddit
Let your hair go white and suddenly people treat you with great condescension or ignore you altogether. Start dyeing it again, normal life returns.
OneCallSystem@reddit
Im a man and im 50. I really could give a shit if people see me lol
TheChocolateWarOf74@reddit
Age discrimination is definitely occurring on my job right now. I’m not the only X’er that feels it.
There are 3 of us left in the office and our new boss has made it very clear that seniority means nothing, while making everything harder on us.
I do think this will eventually sort itself out because he is a 24 year old twerp who has decided to primarily hire 18 - 20 year olds that quit within a year. Not the smartest move when it costs thousands to send each person to training.
I had no idea what I wanted to do at 18 - 20 and I was not ready to settle into a career. They are not ready either. I’m not sure why he thinks they are.
People definitely will not stay on the job when you make it clear that seniority means nothing.
More_Law6245@reddit (OP)
Maybe not the right way to look at it but take the satisfaction that if the little twerp lives long enough he will experience the same thing but you've also highlighted that there is always a high turnover with younger employees and it's funny you say that because it's the very reason why I employ older people.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
It's like nobody wants to hire underlings that are older than they are. Maybe it feels awkward to them, but we still need jobs, and I have no problem with following someone's instructions regardless if s/he is 30 or 60. Many of them want to be surrounded by attractive younger people, though, for their egos. I can't compete with that.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
{community_rule_7}
Masters_domme@reddit
I’m a girl, and have never felt invisible. 🤷🏻♀️ I used to be quite attractive, and used it to my advantage in my youth. Now I find myself quite UNattractive, but I still get hit on or chatted up by strangers when I go out in public. Somehow my resting bitch face has become inviting to strangers.
Arglebarglor@reddit
Older women have been complaining about being invisible since there were older women. And THIS GenX woman couldn’t be more thrilled. What, not to be catcalled? Great. I’m not a timid person and I have no problem speaking up when I need to be heard. Otherwise LEAVE ME ALONE
SweetsMurphy@reddit
You don't remember not really caring what an older person had to say? What they looked like? Clothes they wore or music they listened to?
I'm leaning into invisibility. I dance through the grocery aisles with my girlfriend and crack wise (and loudly) to make her laugh. No one is looking? Good. She's laughing? Even better.
I find that clinging to youth (or trends) ages me exponentially. I deliberately STFU in more and more situations.
The carousel is slowing. Disembark from it gingerly (don't break a hip!) and let the next generation have it.
Besides, there's a real nice bench in the shade of an oak tree over with my name on it.
kat2211@reddit
Oh, I'm nowhere near ready to get off the ride (59F here). It's not about clinging to youth, it's about still allowing yourself to feel hope and forward motion and potential for what you might be able to achieve in the future. I feel better than I ever have, I recently changed careers and am doing the most intellectually stimulating and challenging work I've ever done, and I'm working on finishing a novel. I honestly think the next ten years might be the best, most exciting, and most successful of my life, by pretty much every measure. As for the next generation, don't care except to say - if they're smart, they'll stay the fuck out of my way.
5usie@reddit
I am definitely invisible.
TheUmberTaker@reddit
And, I am surprisingly okay with that. Like I can do anything about this crazy town shit? Seriously.
I do vote. And share my disgust on reddit. There ya' go.
5usie@reddit
It for the most part doesn’t bother me, but sometimes, for example where I work there’s 3 of us, the other 2 will make lunch plans or whatever and they never ask me, it hurts my feelings a little, but then I just think, oh well, I didn’t spend money on having lunch out. They whisper a lot too. They don’t hang out together outside of work. So I don’t know. The best part though was when our boss came over and said the bought them candy and put candy down on each of their desks… that’s when I really knew I was invisible.
TheUmberTaker@reddit
That's just rude. No candy. Pffft!!
5usie@reddit
Right! I was sad about that.
Ok-Street7504@reddit
That's my goal, I don't want to be bothered by anyone nor do I want to bother anyone. Want to do my thing and get out.
nottodayautoimmune@reddit
Who cares? I have a life and things to do and I don’t give one single fvck what anyone else thinks of me or whether anybody else sees me.
Turbulent-Local5054@reddit
This is True GenX 🙌
midsummersgarden@reddit
Not since losing weight, no. I thought it was age but I was just overweight: the creepy stares are back.
SamHandwich0@reddit
Sorry i know this isnt a lsughing matter, but it's kind of funny.
Maybe you should try being less hot- lol
midsummersgarden@reddit
I’ll answer this like it isn’t a joke: some attractive women do exactly that. There’s a predatory feeling to being stared at for a lifetime, we definitely ugly it up sometimes to get a break. I’m so much older now that it shocks me honestly, I don’t do any work on my face so I have wrinkles and other changes. My face is not what it was at 30, not even close. Makes me realize how much of it is body, not face that attracts men.
HippasusOfMetapontum@reddit
I haven't really noticed whether I'm "visible" or "invisible." I don't really see any difference in "visibility" from any other point in my life. I guess that means it's not something I care about.
SergeantChic@reddit
The alternative is that the millennials lump us in with the boomers, and the boomers lump us in with the millennials. I prefer being invisible.
rbarr228@reddit
I want to be invisible, but I am getting attention from women in their 20’s. I used to want this kind of attention; but ever since I got married, dressing better, taking care of my health, and grooming better, it’s become something that I brush off dismissively.
MartinBlank96@reddit
It's slightly alarming(but not to me) just how many things I couldn't care less about. And not in a mean or defensive way. I'm just more selective about the things that occupy my aging mind.
Hot-Personality4882@reddit
Feel invisible because of my age and being taken for granted as being part of the small minority of people who just show up and get shit done. Prefer it that way, tbh. There are boomers rightfully taking the blame for smearing shit all over the world and Millenials burning out behind us en mass. I'm just happy to keep my head down and survive.
NetJnkie@reddit
Men have always been invisible in society....except for a few exceptions.
ItsTheEndOfDays@reddit
tell us more…
NetJnkie@reddit
People downvoting me need to go read r/askmen
It's a common discussion.
ItsTheEndOfDays@reddit
I shall go take a peak because I’m genuinely wanting to understand this perspective.
azlmichael@reddit
Everybody wears gray sweatshirts and sweats. If you want to be noticed more, wear colors.
Umeyard@reddit
I want to be overlooked.
I'm not a boomer, so stop saying I am. I'm not a millennial so stop comparing me to them.
I'm just in the middle, trying to get through my day so I can get off work, do chores, and chill watching reruns or playing games on days in have the time while counting down the next dozen years till I can retire... hopefully
Best-Albatross-8516@reddit
Huh? ☕️🚬
First-Night8969@reddit
I couldn’t care less.. I’m just white knuckling through with my 2 jobs for 9 more years so I can retire and enjoy myself for a change.. by all means overlook me .. lol 😂
zoomzoom71@reddit
I don't have a desire to be celebrated, but an occasional acknowledgement is nice to experience. For me, it has nothing to do with my age, gender, race, profession, etc.
Kindly_Jellyfish_451@reddit
Trying to find a new job, and I feel invisible. I suspect it’s my age. Husband feels the same way.
FarCry5372@reddit
I do not feel invisible, but I also have never cared if i was visible or not.
Ok_Manwich_9306@reddit
Invisibility is a gift. Wanting to be seen constantly is neurosis. Just be. It is ok to not be validated every second of every day. You get a lot more done.
WhyCantToriRead@reddit
I don’t feel invisible as of yet. I’m still hit on relatively frequently for a 52 year old woman.
Perfect_Fennel@reddit
Same, it's often people practically young enough to be my son and that's too young for me.
Southernms@reddit
I feel empowered! I no longer listen to anyone’s nonsense! I trust my gut. Invisible no not even a little.
Jolly_Conference_321@reddit
Dont care but never have. But used to get a lot of unwanted male attention.
Accx4@reddit
Invisible in what context? I haven't ever felt invisible. Though i cant even see a scenario where it would affect me if I did...
rhionaeschna@reddit
I'm a woman and invisible and I don't mind at all. I finally dont get lewd comments from strangers and can move through society unnoticed. The thing that irks me is the perception that youth is something I should strive to maintain though or that my grey hairs making me look old is somehow a bad thing. That youth is the only beauty standard that matters. I see so much ageism everywhere and while I'm fine with being invisible, I don't want to be treated as lesser because I aged out of being "relevant" or being the target audience for almost everything.
sebastian0328@reddit
Were you less invisible in younger days? how?
just asking because men are invisible since youth to old men LOL
rhionaeschna@reddit
I'm almost 50 now. I got my first cat call when I was 11. I am more than ok not having unwanted attention. I'm not young and pretty anymore, so I'm invisible. Be glad you were invisible to old men when you were young.
sebastian0328@reddit
If a grown up woman found me sexy when I was young like 13, I would be excited.
That's how most boys would react and I guess we see it differently based on our gender.
rhionaeschna@reddit
I'm still grossed out by a grown man being pervy to 11 year old me who had no interest in anything but playing with my friends and pretending puberty wasn't happening, and the idea of a woman my age preying on a 13 year old boy is every bit as skeevy to me.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
OTOH, I sometimes find that young men are more polite, now that they see me as their mother's age rather than someone to date. I'm fine with that.
LetsBNiceYall@reddit
GenX is just overlooked. Gender matters not. We r small & forgotten. Age discrimination happens to all, eventually
Accurate-Survey6985@reddit
I think we'll pretty much be always forgotten.
Gavagirl23@reddit
It's not fun when you're on the job market. On the other hand, I don't miss pushy dudes demanding attention from me when I'm just trying to have a walk around the block.
sebastian0328@reddit
To be honest, I am scared of it.
Imagine you go to pretty much the same places like certain bars from college to late 30s or early 40s (these days) but once you hit certain point, you can't go there anymore.
Can you hit that club you used to go when you get kind of 'old?'
Can you wear the same thing when you get 'old'?
You would need to ditch certain social clubs too.
To be very honest, I used to not think about Older People at all, just hung out with younger people around my age because I didn't think I would get old. So I understand younger people not wanting to hang out with older people.
Beruthiel999@reddit
You CAN still go there. Nothing's stopping you. You can wear what you like.
You just need to stop worrying about being judged.
sebastian0328@reddit
'You just need to stop worrying about being judged'
I mean can a dad dress and act like justin bieber :0
Beruthiel999@reddit
Sure? Why not? Justin Bieber is 32 years old, there are lots of guys his age who are dads
sebastian0328@reddit
I meant his sagging pants and bowl cut era hahaha
Beruthiel999@reddit
Well that's just kind of silly on anyone but I don't judge
My own style hasn't ever changed that much since the 80s/90s, I've still got dyed black hair and doc martens. I'm in my 50s and a lot of the bands I like are my age and older. Lots of gray heads happily banging away at metal shows.
sidesco@reddit
In most cases you don't really want to go to those places once you reach that age. You're just not interested in the same things as you get older.
I can't say I pay too much attention to people considerably older or younger than I am. I'm in my 40s and I don't really want to hang around people in their 20's or people in their 60's. Which is quite a difficult realisation for me as I have several friends I have known since I was at my first job as a teen. They are all in their 60's and up now and we just don't have much in common. We've been friends for more than 20 years now, but the age gap is quite noticeable now that they are all retired and I am still working. When we first met we all worked at the same place, and I was always more mature for my age so we got along well.
I have found it difficult to connect with people in my age bracket as I've gotten older.
AuntZilla@reddit
So crazy… ever since I (38 in June) was little, I always wanted to sit at the grown ups table. I loved asking questions about their lives and hearing the stories and that has not changed. Most people my age have just always gotten on my nerves because they weren’t interesting. Conversations had zero depth. I can’t recall any of what I talked about with my age friends except for the night they all took acid and I was their sober companion. That was a great night.
A lot of my friends are my parents age or older. I don’t know what they get out of being my friend but I learn so much from them and laugh a lot. I’m starting to see health changes and going to funerals for people much older than me and they aren’t a family member—they were MY friend. I really miss talking to them but when I lost my 92 year old pal last March I started realizing pretty soon a large portion of my friends won’t be here any longer and it almost broke me.
Somehow married a guy younger than me, but he’s an old soul, too. I’ve finally hit that point where I can’t understand anything my bonus daughter says or texts me and the lingo changes so damn often, and makes zero sense… and I cannot dumb myself down enough to care to keep up. (Sorry but ‘js’ could be shorthand for ‘just saying’ not ‘just’, like PLEASE use your words or actual acronyms because “ik i js hung up but im js lk about to crash out w otw to beach and idfk im rlly js lk pissed off ig” took me way too much time to decipher.
So yep, I understand the not jiving with people in your age bracket/generation or younger, but if you considered your coworkers genuine friends at one point, surely y’all had more in common than place of employment?
sidesco@reddit
Oh yes, we only worked together for around 5 years and we all ended up working in different places, and still remained friends. We'd take holidays together and such. Now they all have grand kids, so they're often spending time with them. I never had children, so it isn't something I can relate to at all. They've moved onto other hobbies that I have no interest in and have met other people through that. I still catch up with them every few months, it just isn't the same as it once was.
I've had other close friends my age that moved away, so it's hard when you just don't have the same people around anymore.
uncivil_society@reddit
I wear the exact same stuff I did in the 90s. In the case of some nearly threadbare items, literally. There's nothing stopping you, no one cares but you what you wear or do.
Deep_Cat_@reddit
Solo travel unlocked! No fears, just FUN!
Flimsy-Shirt9524@reddit
I think part of it is realizing every generation has had a similar issue, double f though with the younger ad few can even read well. We learned to respect if not appreciate prior gen’s, most of alpha can’t read worth shit thinks history is a tale m, etc
REDDITSHITLORD@reddit
Not at all, but I'm good at drawing attention to myself.
Total_Employment_146@reddit
I'm at a work event right now (a few days long). At dinner, I sat down with another Gen Xer. The Gen Z person sat at a table next to us. Another Gen Xer joined the two of us. Three more Gen Z walked in, all had their pick of tables and chose to sit with the other Gen Z. I had a good laugh to myself realizing we've officially crossed the threshold where we're old enough to actively avoided by the young'ns.
gramosaurusflex@reddit
You and your friends chose people of your age group, so did the kids. Don't feel old unless you like it 😂
JSilvertop@reddit
I’m not invisible, despite becoming a crone. I am not one who seeks the limelight, but I do help others, and folks definitely know me. And as a crone, I no longer care how others perceive me. I do what I enjoy, and it’s up to others as to how they want to deal with me.
Felicity_Calculus@reddit
Meh, I think it’s natural that people gravitate to others who are reasonably close in age. I don’t think I ‘d sit down with a group of Gen Z strangers or distant acquaintances if there were Gen X/Gen Jones/Xennials/Elder Millenials I could hang with instead 🤷🏻♀️
Impossible_Royal_302@reddit
I feel invisible because I'm a fat gay man of 54.
Mind you, I'm working on the fat part, and I fully expect that once I'm at goal weight, I'll still feel invisible because I'm gay and 55 (hopefully that'll be my age when I reach goal in a little less than a year from now). But I have to lose the weight anyway for my health; so we'll see what happens, I guess.
GenX2thebone@reddit
My 40 year old friend, who is objectively handsome, complains about age bias, but I’m 60 and found out a couple years ago that plenty of guys like a Daddy….
Jokerchyld@reddit
Nah, I just dont dont GAF about what other people think.
Im not invisible. They are.
PinkyLeopard2922@reddit
I am enjoying the hell out of my magical cloak of invisibility. What is kind of weird is that noticing people (man type people) approach me from behind because hey, curvy lady with long thick blonde hair but once they overtake me and realize I am an OLD lady, they have this look like "oh shit!" and keep moving.
Maleficent_Fun_5463@reddit
My mother always said, "focus more on what you can do and less on what you look like". I'm not sure she was trying to tell me something about my appearance, but this advice has served me well. You cannot live your life in service of the superficial pressure of society. When you live authentically, authentic people find you. The rest are just background noise.
ZebraBorgata@reddit
No. 57 but I don’t really understand the question. So I guess I don’t feel invisible otherwise I guess I’d know it. Not sure what the question is getting at
ZealousidealGrab1827@reddit
I like it this way. Under the radar is my happy place.
profjamie4102005@reddit
As a whole, GenX is invisible.
RetreadRoadRocket@reddit
Anymore? I haven't given a shit about being noticed since I was a kid, why start now lol?
Ratatoskr_The_Wise@reddit
I turned invisible, and I actually kinda hate it.
Forest-Vixen@reddit
I had become invisible due to menopause and most likely the weight gain that came with it but then I became a bodybuilder. I’m definitely not invisible anymore.
I think people respond to others based on how they carry themselves. If you’re unhappy it shows on the outside, and I think it keeps people at bay.
Maggiemygirl@reddit
Nope. I'm relieved to be ignored.
Lizakaya@reddit
No. I did briefly as i started to age and lost sexual attention. But then i realized how much easier life is. I don’t feel like i am lacking for attention and life is better for it
Stigger32@reddit
- *Do you feel invisible as a GenX because of your age, gender or both?* No. Why would I? What does ‘feel invisible’ even mean?
- *Or is it just outright age discrimination?* See previous answer.
- *Or you just couldn't care less anymore?* I never did care what anyone thought of me. Still don’t. This line of questioning sounds like you’re having an existential crisis. Like you got to a point recently and wondered what is happening? Why do you feel so negative or whatever all of a sudden?
Maybe it’s just normal? Maybe it’s just life? Maybe it doesn’t really need an answer at all?
Try living in the moment. I find it liberating.
shooflypie@reddit
I'm ugly, I've been invisible my whole life, it is only recently that I have begun to embrace the invisiblity.
Friday_arvo@reddit
Shhhh don’t tell millennials and Gen Z we exist. They’ll rope us into their bullshit and drama.
Opposite-Lake-9679@reddit
As a woman I do not feel invisible at all. I frequently get checked out and get hit on. BUT I put a lot of effort into my fitness, style and well-being. I think that's really the distinction. And I can't tell you how many 20 to 30-year-old guys hit on me. The young ones really like the older ladies these days.
strategicscientific@reddit
Fellow GenX woman checking in here. I'm not putting a ton of effort into my fitness/style, but I am putting a lot into my wellbeing, and it shows. Agree with the frequently hit on, given long looks from, and asked out by younger men. Tbh, it's flattering.
Opposite-Lake-9679@reddit
Totally. 😀
bikeking8@reddit
Dude that's our schtick - apathetic, lazy, great music taste, and invisible. I'll be hanging out in front of the gas station tonight.
Remarkable_Insect866@reddit
No, I wear cool tee shirts from cool bands, such as Bad Company, Merl Haggard, Blondie
AnastasiaNo70@reddit
Older women are more invisible than older men, but yeah.
Quite frankly, I like it. I was pretty cute in my day and got a LOT of unwanted attention from creepy men.
Now? I swear I don’t even show up on security cameras anymore.
VR46Rossi420@reddit
you're thinking of the George Clooney's (very good looking older men) of the world who still get attention but the average beer belly 50+ male isn't getting much attention and love either. Some are able to afford to buy attention I suppose......
Very attractive middle aged (and up) women Definitely still get lots of attention as well.
It's just we're (by most standards) not attractive and therefore not "seen" as much as we used to be.
AnastasiaNo70@reddit
I meant in the sense that you’re still a MAN. That comes with certain privileges no matter what you look like.
VR46Rossi420@reddit
meh, in a lot of relationships with older couples the man is worse off stuck with a wife who is only there for the economic security.
The man has a choice to give up their Kids\family to leave the cold wife so many sick around and live a miserable existence eating and drinking themselves to death to try and mask the misery.
menoagegap@reddit
I am the Gen X wife sole breadwinner for the family for a husband who didn’t work. I was stuck loveless with a cold husband and or I have to give up houses I worked for and bought, stuck with paying child support and alimony, I stick around and live misery existence working myself to death (cuz Gen X never learned work life balance) and mask misery. Finally had too much and lose a few of my houses, tons of money, paying tons of child support and alimony, but at least I am freed from a lonely marriage and found a new boyfriend
RaccoonHaunting9638@reddit
👏 good for you for being brave and finding a new bf !!
VR46Rossi420@reddit
He probably has his own side to the story.
HelloThisIsPam@reddit
My invisibility started at 47 and fell off a cliff at 48, now in my mid 50s I think I could probably rob a few banks unnoticed.
LittleMsLibrarian@reddit
I've joked that I could make a living shoplifting. I'm a middle-aged white woman wearing nondescript clothing so no security guard looks twice at me as long as I don't talk to them.
AnastasiaNo70@reddit
You could.
Significant_Ruin4870@reddit
It's actually a relief in every arena except a job search.
NateNMaxsRobot@reddit
🥂
FongYuLan@reddit
I mean, where does one go where they might feel ignored? Are we talking bus stops? Bars? Church? Because there really aren’t a lot of third spaces anymore where people go to see and be seen, mix and mingle. These days you have to do things like meetups, book club, apps - where you give express permission for people to talk to you for a designated amount of time.
Impressive-Health670@reddit
I don’t get hit on by men I’m not attracted to anymore which is a plus.
I get more attention from sales people and waitstaff because they rightly assess my ability to tip well.
I really only notice getting less attention at hardware / Home Depot like stores. No one wants to deal with the middle aged woman looking to match paint, and I don’t blame them.
All in all I can’t complain.
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Girl, they better be helping me at Home Depot when I’m matching paint.
Impressive-Health670@reddit
In fairness to the kid I came in with my own binder and labeling system and ended up leaving with 22 testers. Middle aged me is a bit more particular and there will be no flirting as I wait, but if you want to talk about dogs or the weather I’ve got small talk. 😂
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
🤣 no flirting while you wait? I’ll take the flirting. Lol
Impressive-Health670@reddit
Ha now that my nephews are that age I just can’t, they all still look like kids to me!
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Yeah I can’t flirt back if they look college age. But 25 and up is absolutely fine and flattering
Beneficial_Run9511@reddit
We are the invisible generation. Don’t rock the boat.
DarwinGhoti@reddit
As a guy, I’ve been invisible my entire life. I think there’s a reason “Celophane Man” resonated with so many people. The very handsome and the very rich never want for attention, but even Thoreau observed “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Fast_Drink_9516@reddit
I prefer this quote of Thoreau, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.". Maybe it's because my favorite book as a child was Conrad's Castle!
DKBeahn@reddit
I feel like it’s our duty as GanX to have never have given a shit, ever.
drumbo10@reddit
I’m 56M and think that now everyone has their phones and earbuds and just don’t notice other people the same way as we used to before these technologies.
acoffeefiend@reddit
Nope. I've been around fellow Dads in their late 30's who thought I was younger than them. If anything... age discrimination because peers have always assumed I'm younger.
Left_Jeweler_7538@reddit
Men have it so much easier than woman I think! You guys look better with age usually. We just don't age well at all!! Not fair
Left_Jeweler_7538@reddit
I feel completely invisible now. 51 tomorrow. I never felt it like I do now! Completely invisible
mjh8212@reddit
I never liked attention and made myself invisible on my own. When I ended up morbidly obese and needed mobility aides people were rude to my face or commented loud enough for me to hear or just stared. I’ve lost the weight still need mobility aides but no one pays attention to me anymore maybe some curious kids but that’s it and I like it that way.
MiddleAgeRiots@reddit
When I retired eight months ago, the people I talked to made me feel useless, unimportant 'cos I had no profession. It seems when I said I'm retired is like erasing 42 years of work. Here on Reddit, young people of my country often accused me, and retired people in general, of not only being useless, but also a thief of their future. I hear 30-year-olds refer to 60-year-olds as old people, whose mere existence annoys them. According to them, from 60 and up, you shouldn't leave the house when they go out because it slows them down when you drive, go to the doctor, go to the supermarket, etc. I was a beautiful punk, and you know, a punk when young is a punk forever. I don't care whether others see me or not, I care that they don't see me as a scapegoat for the ills of a society that is imploding.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
I was talking with my boyfriend a few days ago about this - shouldn’t there be more Gen X leaders by now? It’s hard to think of them. Most political leaders are boomers and then there have been the millennials coming up in force. I feel like GenX could have a lot to offer bc our perspective is so unique, being raised mostly without tech and then having it while still fairly young. We’ve been through some cycles of things so we have perspective but we’re not so old that we’re out of touch.
Idk though, maybe in general GenX just don’t want to lead. Maybe we saw this shitshow coming for years and have decided to just peace out and retain our spot on the couch.
HelloThisIsPam@reddit
We've never had a president. I think they might skip over us. Doesn't every generation get at least 2?
VR46Rossi420@reddit
America needs to stop voting in Geriatrics
this_kitty68@reddit
Yes. Totally invisible. Not just to men, but to every single person. It’s the strangest feeling. While I don’t miss unwanted attention, it’s weird to be a ghost. It makes it even easier to not GAF what other people think, but it also makes me feel more isolated in a society that is already so divided.
HelloThisIsPam@reddit
Exactly this.
PollutionZero@reddit
We're invisible because we were told from day 1 that we didn't matter. I think MTV is the only people to ever hint that I mattered (get out the vote in the 90s stuff).
Think about it. Latch Key kids, no birthday parties (unless your folks were really well off and you got a McDonalds or Showbiz Pizza party), "mom, can I have the new Transformer?" "We'll see, maybe, maybe for Xmas..."
NOTHING about our generation mattered to the Boomers, and when the Millennials showed up, suddenly the children's well-being mattered. So we got ignored.
There was a FASCINATING survey I saw a while ago. "Which Generation is most ignored?" NOT KIDDING, the options were "Silent Generation, Boomers, Millennials, Gen Z." No Joke, they didn't even put GenX.
I find it hilarious, and went about my day. Cause that's what we do. We show up to work, get paid, and go home. We know we don't matter, we were shown and told this time and again. Fuck em, not my problem.
HelloThisIsPam@reddit
This is so accurate.
HelloThisIsPam@reddit
Yes, and it was GREAT for a few years, now I don't l Iike it as much anymore.
Btt3r_blu3@reddit
Nah, I dress like David Bowie meets Betsey Johnson and drive a neon yellow car. Not at all invisible!
AccomplishedCash3603@reddit
Speaking of which, Betsey Johnson's Instagram is AMAZING!
Btt3r_blu3@reddit
It's amazing! I adore her!
GoslingIchi@reddit
I've felt invisible my whole life.
win3luver@reddit
I feel invisible and frumpy. My weight is highest it's been bc of menopause and I feel like I'm aging badly. I look in the mirror and I cringe!
kb_colas@reddit
My thoughts exactly 😒
RicePuddingForAll@reddit
Wait? You, a fellow GenXer, actually felt visible at some point? Was it more than to just blame you? I'm so jealous!
OutdoorRaleigh@reddit
I never cared in the first place
JackattackThirteen@reddit
I think it depends on your field of work. I am in a fast growing tech company and am totally looked over. Virtually all of my co-workers are at least 10 to 20 years younger. I have much more experience in the field than them, but constantly are passed over for others with virtually no experience. I cannot help but think its my age. My own research shows that ageism in the tech industry is rampant.
NHmountain-man@reddit
100% this. Late GenX here, 17+ years in telco, have an MBA as well - passed over constantly
Express_Leading_4840@reddit
As someone who has felt that way all her life, I am used to it.
Quick_Parking_6464@reddit
I think Gen-X is largely invisible because, as a population cohort, we're a small group between Boomers and Millennials. This means we're generally overlooked because of our size.
We also may be getting grouped in with Boomers as a sort of "Boomer-lite" group; we're a distinction without a difference for some.
Now, as a guy in my late 50s (I can't believe I just wrote that), I do feel there's unconscious age discrimination mostly relating to hiring and employment. I still feel like I'm 27 though.
nyght2063@reddit
I don't. I think I've aged very well. However, I can see the difference in my classmates that take care of themselves physically and mentally and the one ones that skewer more boomerish. I can see some of them feeling invisible.
_ism_@reddit
I do feel invisible to people my age but they're distraced af with kids and elders so I kinda don't blame them. I Just chose a different life myself
Hungry-Violinist-729@reddit
I don't feel invisible at 50(F), but I'm an extrovert who will not become invisible. I've never been the most observant person, so maybe I'm just missing it :)
Salty-Pack-4165@reddit
Yes, and I love it. I love not being noticed. I prefer it that way.
skspoppa733@reddit
We are invisible, but it is what it is.
Flippin_diabolical@reddit
I prefer invisibility, tbh
Flat_6_Theory@reddit
Whatever. I’ve been a practitioner of the art of invisibility for forever.
shiny1988@reddit
Nah. I’m still cool as fuck and I’m healthier than ever due to Glp-1. I feel quite comfortable filling space these days and gifting strangers a huge smile. Not invisible.
VR46Rossi420@reddit
Glp-1 sad
shiny1988@reddit
Why?
Shibboleeth@reddit
Grew up in a dysfunctional family. I fall between the forgotten children and scapegoat roles.
The only time I'm visible is when I'm in trouble.
AccomplishedCash3603@reddit
Oh $hit that tracks.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
My bf growing up was a middle child in a dysfunctional family and same.
NoH8Kate@reddit
Same honestly.
IDunnoReallyIDont@reddit
I don’t feel this but I’m only 50? Maybe because I don’t look 50? I’m treated the same as I always have been if not even more so.
SlyFrog@reddit
I'm not sure when I have ever felt "visible," if by that you mean anyone giving a shit about me other than pretending to because I have money or something else they want.
My close family and kids maybe care about me. Outside of that, I've never felt any sense of it, so nothing has really changed.
Ordinary-Difficulty9@reddit
Are we invisible? Lol
As a generation I think we couldn't care less what other generations think of us.
We are a tough generation, we work hard, we play hard, we have gotten to the "f@ck it" part of life. I really don't care what I offer to society and I doubt most gen x-ers do.
DosBrabant@reddit
Word.
Puzzleheaded_Low_619@reddit
No one cares outside of possibly your small group. Your either making money for someone or your a target to get money out of
wyohman@reddit
I don't like age discrimination but fortunately my sardonic wit puts these silly little twats in their place
Southern-T-48@reddit
I have definitely felt like society and marketing have left us behind. The boomers have hung around much longer in so many areas and the millennials are a bigger generation…. but then I saw there will be a Masters of the Universe movie coming … hell yeah! As they say, a coin has two sides. My fellow gen-xer’s are the best. I never feel invisible in their (y’all’s) company. We are aging together. So in that sense I couldn’t care less.
Csonkus@reddit
Who cares either way? Why does it matter if someone feels “seen”? 99% of people really don’t give a fuck.
Abby-No@reddit
I have no desire to be seen, being invisible is my preferred state.
Viridian_Cranberry68@reddit
Appearance. I was born short and unattractive. 58 never been on a date. Never had company come over. Never been invited to anything. Never had friends. Bullied and mocked by my parents so I disowned them 30 years ago never looked back. I just draw or do watercolor painting and wait for death. Have Sarcoidosis of the liver and lungs and realized pretty quick that I was better off without treatment. So hopefully I won't suffer too much longer.
Phobos1982@reddit
I try to stay invisible. I want to look like the most boring person possible, to fly under the radar. My style, car, house, and everything else is boring, by design.
Jason_TheMagnificent@reddit
I live in the background, if I am perceived as invisible then I'm doing it correctly.
dukelivers@reddit
Never once in my life have i spontaneously thought, "i feel invisible" and I have justification to think that.
edgarjwatson@reddit
Feel it ? I cultivated it.
Looked for, he cannot be seen.
Felt for, he cannot be touched.
Listened for, he cannot be heard.
C'mon, man.
madoneforever@reddit
Definitely feel it. We are at the age where people feel we don’t matter. But honestly, I always felt even advertisers etc just skipped right over our generation. They seem to target the boomers and then the millennials…I remember hearing that our generation was super hard to reach and target because we were went through so many technological shifts.
Beatrix_Kitto@reddit
I do feel invisible now. We’re currently moving a few states away from where I’ve lived my whole life and getting a job within my field is a big worry. No one wants to hire a 52 year old in the beauty industry. Sucks, cuz I’m really good at what I do. But they start doing that experience math in their head when reading my resume and assume I look a certain way that won’t sell their products and procedures.
Illustrious_Concern5@reddit
It’s fine with me! My favorite saying is “Nobody is looking at me!” I dress the way I want and do what I want without worrying about how others see me! It’s way better than trying to dress to impress someone or even worse, NOT doing things I want to do because someone might judge! I don’t judge others so I assume they aren’t judging me either!
Separate_Primary_686@reddit
What I do notice, is how few Gen X’ers there seem to be. At work, everyone is either much younger or older. In a way, that makes me feel invisible because I’m at such a different point in life than everyone. We seem to be a small generation who doesn’t rock the boat much or complain, we just keep our heads down and do our jobs.
ProfessorChaos406@reddit
I mentioned this topic in another post, but adding here too:
We're a smaller generation than others with only 15 years (1965-1980, compared to 1945-1964 for Boomers) that started with a decrease in the birth rate following legalization of the birth control pill. They called us the"Baby Bust(ers)" contrasting with the Boom(ers). Be glad that name didn't stick, X is way cooler. So yeah, that means there's fewer of us now.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
That's why it should be from 1960 or some people are inserting Generation Jones for the younger boomers. They are really different from the Woodstock generation.
ProfessorChaos406@reddit
Yeah that makes sense. It's all an artificial social construct anyway, but it is interesting to think about
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
It started as marketing, tracking trends in spending habits.
ProfessorChaos406@reddit
Like with astrology, you can find truth and falsehoods in the concepts
NihilsitcTruth@reddit
Dont care, never really did. So whatever.
MisterSandKing@reddit
Boring_Menu_5962@reddit
I can't wait until Im old enough to be ignored by everyone
AnastasiaNo70@reddit
It’s pretty nice, I’m serious.
MoeBlacksBack@reddit
Felt invisible my entire 58 years . Cant see tt changing anytime soon. Whatever.
Intelligent_Star_516@reddit
At first it bothered me. Lost my dad and gf within a year and a half of each other. The silence was deafening. About the time anybody listened, I started listening too. The world had become an unbelievably shallow and narcissistic version of itself.
Now nobody seems to notice. That means they don't object or complain either. And now I wouldn't have it any other way.
jackie-daytonuh@reddit
I am invisible to most creepy men now, which is a massive relief. I am aware that I am basically a mom blob to most people under 30. However, I am hyper visible to people who work in retail, Maitre D’s, hotel staff, car salesmen, and anyone who needs my credit card to keep their business afloat. When I walk into my local garden center, I feel like the queen arriving. They know I’m going to be going hard in the annuals.
I am also highly visible to my peers. I have made great friends hanging out at the athletic competitions my kids participate in. Other moms who like to have a laugh to lighten the boredom see me coming from a mile away and are happy I’m there. I took my daughter and her friends to the beach for her birthday recently. The girls were getting hit on left and right by every dude in sight. But I got asked out by the Gen X guys in the next condo who were there on a fishing trip. You just have to know your audience. It’s different than when you were 25. And that’s ok. I have nothing to talk about with a 25 year old.
Beyond_the_Matrix@reddit
Couldn't care less. People underestimate people all the time. So the sooner someone learns not to rely on external validation or "sight," the better.
Besides, invisibility is definitely a superpower I wish I had. No creepy attention, please.
PrairieGrrl5263@reddit
It's age discrimination, same as it has been for every generation before ours. It's just our turn.
newwriter365@reddit
I love the anonymity.
servetarider@reddit
Being invisible means you can do anything you want and nobody gives a damn. It’s liberating. I don’t want anything from you and you don’t want anything from me. Cool.
ColdHandGee@reddit
I have had this all of my life. Being a middle child has it's perks..
Nice-Track4271@reddit
Agree with this. 50s had me doing what I want and not caring. Being invisible makes it even easier.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
I definitely think my age and weight gain affected my job search last year.
Dynamo_Ham@reddit
Ahhh, sweet invisibility.
groundhogcow@reddit
I don't care.
I am doing the things I do and they will have the affects they have. I never got any of the hype and I don't expect that I ever will. My actions still have effects without the propaganda.
I can't change it so I will never try.
I have always been invisible independent of age. If your super power is invisibility you don't try to be seen.
sev45day@reddit
This is not a GenX thing, every generation goes through this, and it's been mentioned widely.
As you age your youth fades, and people don't respond to you the same way they did when you were young. That's just a fact.
Many actresses have talked about how the roles they are offered change dramatically as soon as they hit 30 or so.
I think for men, in general it's not quite as pronounced, but it still definitely happens as well. I think all of remember the first time we are called "sir" or "ma'am".
LuckyAd2714@reddit
I’m 58 F. I feel largely invisible. I’m not out of shape ,, I look normal. I got hair extensions recently .. long ones. And all of the sudden ,, not invisible anymore. And it’s so weird to me. Really ? I had a shoulder length kind of a shaggy bob - but now long hair…not insane like to my butt. Maybe bra strap. But it’s weird - like .. oh I’m back in the game. Lmao. A game I want nothing to do with
Peloton72@reddit
Hard to say. As a kid all we heard was “you can be anything you want when you grow up”. As an adult, it’s weird to be a generation that’s only mentioned when people talking about the generation everyone ignores. It’s tempting to just say IDGAF, but honestly, it’s just odd to have to reconcile it.
More_Law6245@reddit (OP)
Thanks for sharing, reconciling is an interesting perspective. You've got my only working brain cell working overtime on that one! Appreciate your perspective.
Peloton72@reddit
Sorry about that! 😂 🧠
Jane-The_Obscure@reddit
Age and gender, and I mostly don't care except sometimes in my creative practice.
Princessferfs@reddit
I am mostly invisible because I’m too old to be considered “young” but too young to be “elderly”.
I don’t care.
pjx1@reddit
Care? Why should I care. Let the media do its dance and leave me the hell alone. The world is shit thanks to our parents and they never liked us anyway.
kjs0705@reddit
I'm also an only child. Attention isn't a big thing for me regardless.
ColdHandGee@reddit
I am a middle son to two brothers. Being invisible is second nature to me.
Ok-Mention6768@reddit
Me, too!
ColdHandGee@reddit
Doesn't it suck? Yet now my parents are elderly, they finally see me. What a piss take!
MeowMeowCollyer@reddit
Same. And same.
[ducks back down again]
HandsomeGenXer@reddit
When I a run into other GenX women they treat me like a fine wine. It’s like they rarely meet other Gen X men. I hate bursting there bubble when I tell them I am a married man.
fuzzyedges1974@reddit
I do feel that way for sure, but as a Gen X-er I never actually gave a crap.
phtcmp@reddit
This is probably more of a personal phenomenon than a generational phenomenon, because I have no idea what it means. In my work and community our generation is now typically “in charge.”
Expensive_Rhubarb_87@reddit
Once you hit the 50, it starts.
You’re not invisible. You’re no longer relevant. Age discrimination becomes overt. The only ads aimed at you are for meds to stove off this or that condition that comes with aging.
Gen Z is hitting the 50+ mark, and gets grouped with boomers because ‘old.’
Sometimes it’s funny, when a youngin’ is gushing about a band they like and you can rattle off their first four albums track by track, and they lose their sh*t. The concept that we bought those albums on vinyl doesn’t occur.
Catnip_75@reddit
I don’t think that at all. It’s GenX that are super vocal about women’s health. How Boomers got the short end of the stick when it comes to HRT and GenX isn’t going down quietly. We have been VERY vocal about our healthcare and it’s getting noticed.
Safe_Place8432@reddit
I was at a non crowded bus stop (three people waiting) on Saturday and this young man literally walked up stood touching distance in front of me like he didn't even see me. Because he didn't see me, because I'm past the age of and don't have the physique for making peepees happy so I don't exist visually. I'm used to it but what he did was so shocking even compared to my usual invisibility cloak. I could have leaned forward slightly and touched his back.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
It's a power move to make you move, not that he didn't see you. He wanted to stand THERE.
Havacookiewhydontcha@reddit
So you cough loudly into the back of his head. Then smile sweetly when he “notices” you there. Being invisible isn’t the same as tolerating rudeness. Take up your space and make them uncomfortable if you have to. Be gross too if you can do it, sometimes that’s fun. 🤣👹
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
As a woman, I found I was less noticed around 50. I’m not completely invisible at 53 but I think I’m sliding into it. I don’t care so much about being invisible to society. I’m still trying to hang on to my career and compete with 35-40 year olds. I guess it’s going ok until it isnt
Hardjaw@reddit
I like being invisible
Alternative-Law4626@reddit
I’m not sure exactly what this is supposed to mean. Are people attracted to me? Or, I’m next in line and whomever is servicing the line skips me and goes to the next person?
What exactly are we talking about here?
lionbacker54@reddit
I love being invisible. It was the best thing about being a middle child growing up
Unfortunately, at our age in life, the last thing we are is invisible. I am 54. My mom looks to me for her needs. My wife looks to me for her needs. My kids looked to me for their needs.
RunnerMarc@reddit
So I hear a lot of different people say they feel invisible but I don’t understand that that means. If I’ve got a job and a spouse what other visibility does one need? Would love some honest clarity on where this is coming from.
threedogdad@reddit
I was thinking the same thing. I don't see how being invisible is a thing, and if it is, wouldn't it be mostly your own fault?
ABustedCanOBiscuits@reddit
I started feeling it about 48/49 and spouse mentioned it at 47.
ResponsibleBadger888@reddit
I consider myself relatively good looking and I used to feel pretty good because I know both genders would often smile at me or do a double take when I passed by. I am quite fit and take care of myself but as I have gotten older, I definitely have noticed I do feel more invisible in those regards. TBH, it does seem to be difficult to process and interesting how aging affects you in so many different ways. I’m lucky and have a wonderful partner of over a decade and we are both of the same generation, so it helps bc we can discuss these with each other. FYI, I’m a bi-sexual male of 46 years old
Alternative-Hurry287@reddit
Boomers get blamed for everything. Millennials get blamed for everything. GenX seems to have escaped that. Who cares of our generation is barely mentioned? I’ll take it.
Pho3nixr3dux@reddit
Word up. Boomers broke it, Millennials get to pay for it.
Gen X just rollerblades through the frame in the background.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
It's like GenX doesn't exist. Millennials and younger think we are boomers because we look old. Boomers think we are boomers because they think they look younger than they do. shrug
Alternative-Hurry287@reddit
Shrug is the correct response. I am an individual, not a generation. I don’t cate if others acknowledge what generation I came from. Nobody should.
Pho3nixr3dux@reddit
Gen X has never been seen so I don't know why anyone from our generation would expect or wish to be.
Not being forced to listen to some variation of The Big Chill OST in every public space is enough for me.
Apprehensive_Ad4172@reddit
Im a teacher, and I’m great with using ed tech stuff. When I started teaching I was ignored because girls don’t do computers, and now I’m ignored because 50 year olds don’t do computers. The people who teach the staff how to use the stuff they’re told to use, come and ask me how to use it.
LuceLeakey@reddit
I would find that infuriating. When I was a 12-year-old girl I learned to use a computer and took a summer course in programming. As a 57-year-old, I have worked as a professional computer programmer and know how to use pretty much all the bells and whistles on my PC, and can troubleshoot a lot of things on my own.
The sexism in the realm of IT is infuriating.
Sea-Oven-7560@reddit
I work for a big well know SV tech firm and I can say without hesitation that the best techs I've worked with a women. My wife is also in tech and is very good at her job and I see her getting "little lady'ed" and it really pissed me off. Stay strong, not everyone thinks you're an idiot, the finish line isn't too far away.
Apprehensive_Ad4172@reddit
I once genuinely got a ‘ooh, clever girl’ from a senior member of staff…my rage took some years to abate. JOKE- I’M STILL RAGING! The dept I work in are utterly terrified of technology and when I show them how to make their lives easier they’d still rather be scratching lesson plans on wax tablets. It’s often a case of ‘what a great idea Miss Johnson. Let’s wait until one of the men has it’.
DontHugMe73@reddit
You could just cross out ‘in the realm of IT’
NegScenePts@reddit
I'm invisible because I want to be. It's not always what I desire but I just don't feel like there's a place for me 'out there' in the mainstream rat race that everyone else just floats by on.
HillaryRN@reddit
I love being invisible. I do believe women fade from society more than men do because of ageism. But I don’t have to worry about being perceived now - not that I ever did. I was on the spectrum and undiagnosed until my 50s, super smart and quiet but very weird (think Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club, except with zero talking). After decades of heavy masking, I’m free of it and happier than ever.
A little HRT never hurts, either. :)
OneLonelyBeastieI-B@reddit
I don’t know.
What I hate is feeling mentally so young and not having the body to match 😂😭
If I could choose, I would be in my mid thirties forever.
Anyway, Gen X has always been invisible.
What is new about that?
Salty-Gas-1172@reddit
Same, mid thirties was a good time for me body and mind. I'm not nearly old enough to feel as old as I do.
Not invisible to each other just everyone else. That wasn't such a bad thing.
OneLonelyBeastieI-B@reddit
Exactly this.
JuJu_Wirehead@reddit
The whole generation structure is another ploy to keep us all divided. Quit caring. I'm the guy at work that EVERYONE goes to because they know I can fix it, make it, or figure it out. Most of my coworkers are younger and lack the ability that people in our age range were forced to do, which was figure things out.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Also wanted to add that as a woman in business - real estate ownership with partners - I feel totally invisible. I started a management company to manage some of the real estate assets I had invested in and I know the business inside and out after having worked it from the ground up. Since leaving the management company and now being solely a partner, it’s like no one even remembers to send me the reports, let alone pay any attention to my questions or thoughts. It’s the weirdest thing. It’s all men except for me, and I know some of them outside of business, and the only thing I can figure is that it seems normal for them and part of their whole view of women. They occasionally call to “inform” me of things - when I am a managing partner and should be in on the conversations before the decisions are being made! It’s wild. Truly astounding to me. I’m also smarter than most of them, both academically and in my life. My life is organized and fruitful and balanced, and I’m a good communicator and get along well with most people, but not afraid to call things or people out. Like, I’m a fucking badass! But they only see me as someone they have to include, when they remember to.
ponyboycurtis1980@reddit
Invisible in what way. Walking though walmart? Happy to be an anonymous face in the crowd. At work? I am too hard for my students to ignore. Romantically? Been married for 20 years.
Here-I-R@reddit
I do not feel invisible. I am less likely to be treated like I am an idiot than I was when I was younger.
Bryanmsi89@reddit
Not really ,but I do notice that people and society seem to have a little bit more challenge understanding Gen X. Are you really just a young boomer? An older millenial? X'ers are harder to stereotype in some ways, just because X'ers are book-ended by two generations larger in number and much more distictive.
We_DemBoys@reddit
Pushing 50... I feel good. I think I look younger that what I really am. Woman 10+ years younger than me still want this, but I'm happily married 😉.
AccomplishedCash3603@reddit
It only hurt when I became invisible to my husband. I stayed in shape, but not 25 anymore. He looks right PAST me in lingerie or barely clothed.
epicpillowcase@reddit
Why are you still with him?
Salty-Gas-1172@reddit
Financial stability for me. I have the same problem with my husband. He doesn't hear me or really see me anymore. In my case I am also on disability and don't have anywhere else I could go long term.
AccomplishedCash3603@reddit
Same. Leaving anyway. I know I will end up on the poor end of the financial spectrum (probably RV life if I'm lucky) but there is addiction involved (his) and I gotta go. God Speed.
Salty-Gas-1172@reddit
And to you. I wish you well and a safe escape.
Pigeonofthesea8@reddit
💔
Viva_La_Revolucion-@reddit
Thats a damn shame...
RunnerMarc@reddit
Not really no
MissBailey01@reddit
I don’t feel invisible, though, honestly, it’s not something that worries me. Never even give it a thought. I work, date, go to social events.
CommunicationHappy20@reddit
I’m on the younger side (48 f) and I experience ageism almost daily. Boomers treat me like I’m a child. Like it’s still 1985 and I’m supposed to do as I’m told.
I go to school and most people don’t realize I’m pushing 50 so I get treated like a child there too.
It’s like somewhere time stood still for everyone else and it can’t possibly be a grown ass woman with valid opinions or any kind of understanding.
I got lectured by the nurse (younger than me) at the university heath center about not having a chicken pox vaccine. I went round and round with them about how we didn’t get those in 1980. it still didn’t register with her that I’m not a child so I ended up filing a complaint.
Ageism is alive and well but no one really talks about it.
GelatinousGoober@reddit
Yes well said. I frequently feel like I’m being treated like a child or just invisible.
largos7289@reddit
I do/don't care. I care enough that if i lost my job there would be almost no way i would get another. I got 7 more years till i'm fully vested, after that they want to get rid of me.... have at it.
galumphix@reddit
I got laid off in September. Have applied for many dozens of jobs. Have had interviews, no offers. My partner got laid off on April 2025, same for him.
Dpgillam08@reddit
My friends and family see me. No one else seems to. And thats just the way I like it.
SakaWreath@reddit
I hate that updating every moment of your life is somehow normal. It’s weird and sad that people don’t have anyone in their lives to share those moments with.
It really pisses me off when people monetize their kids or strangers who don’t get a say in their lives being shared.
It’s all just grossly superficial and if avoiding that vapid culture trend makes me invisible, so be it.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
Not invisible, but since I let my hair go salt and pepper, the men giving me attention skew older. Not by that much, though. Boomer women definitely find me less threatening.
ADF21a@reddit
I don't feel invisible. I'm just annoyed I'm visible to people I don't find appealing (in my current location) so it's all wasted visibility.
Fantastic-Pop-9122@reddit
I love fading into the background. My hair is greying, my skin is sagging and wrinkling and i don't give a fuck. I am so happy to bow out and become a background player to the up and comers.
kaosimian@reddit
If the alternative is to bleat on and on about myself like your average Millennial, I’d rather be invisible.
Thin-Quiet-2283@reddit
Middle child, I always felt invisible.
EquivalentStomach5@reddit
IDGAF
biggcb@reddit
Invisible to who?
ONROSREPUS@reddit
Agree. I don't feel invisible.
Fussy_Fucker@reddit
I don’t care. If I happen to go to a store or a bar, I don’t want to talk to people anyways.
bombhead70@reddit
I don’t care.
urko37@reddit
I definitely feel this at work. All these 60+ people refuse to retire and all the 30 somethings are on the magical fast track to promotion and the 20 somethings are the golden children (investing in future leadership BS). Meanwhile my GenX cohorts and I are stuck in the middle, left to bide our time and reminded that we're lucky to be employed.
Havacookiewhydontcha@reddit
I feel like this is the standard at every office everywhere. It sucks.
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Agreed. My 45 year old boss is leaving and my 37 year old peer will probably get his job. I don’t want the job but I also don’t want to work for the 37 year old. I’ve known him long enough to find him reactionary and bitchy. He is already promoted beyond his maturity level.
Sea-Oven-7560@reddit
I used to work at a factory and the CEO has started on the line as an intern. There was an older woman there that was his trainer and supervisor when he was an intern and she still worked the line. She had no problem with him being the boss because she had no problem walking off the factory floor and all the way to the bosses offices to tell him that he was fucking up. I guess after the second time she did it to him on the factory floor he asked if she could talk to him in his office and not embarrass him in front of all the employees, so she accommodated him but everyone knew when she was reading him the riot act. I thought that was great and if I told you the name you'd totally know the company.
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Maybe I will need to take the future young boss aside and tell him he’s fucking up in private. Good idea
Sea-Oven-7560@reddit
I was never on the management fast track and when I did get offered a management position I turned it down because the last thing any company needs is another middle aged white guy in lower management.. What I have done is leveraged my knowledge and experience to be managements trusted advisor, they are just managers they don't know a damn thing other than how to go to meetings and fill out paper work. I provide them with institutional and technical knowledge that they can regurgitate and sound smart -I made myself valuable.
NostradaMart@reddit
we're stuck between the boomers who won't retire until their death and the younger generations pushing us and fighting for the same jobs/resources. I don't feel invisible but....I think our generation was fucked from the start.
Havacookiewhydontcha@reddit
AGREED.
bearthirteen@reddit
Exactly this. 52 here and been unemployed for a year and a half. MANY boomers still working which prevents us from moving into those senior management roles. At the same time millennials will fill the lower positions for way less money than what X'ers are willing to settle for. We are being squeezed out.
Sea-Oven-7560@reddit
my manager is 73 and I have probably a half dozen coworkers in their 70's. They just won't fucking retire. At 57 I used to be one of the youngest people in our group and now I'm pretty much in the middle with retirees on one side and 40 year olds on the other. The good thing is I'm a solo act, I don't work with anyone and nobody works with me. I'm hoping that they forget I exist and just keep paying me for the next 5 years when I will retire without hesitation.
TheChocolateWarOf74@reddit
Some are. All the boomers are long gone from my office and millennials are dropping like flies.
It’s just 3 X’ers, 1 millennial and 8 Gen Z.
3 years ago it was 5 X’ers (2 older X’ers were nearing retirement), 4 millennials and 3 Z.
We recently got a new boss in my office and he used every underhanded trick imaginable to get his job. More importantly he used political ties.
One of the first things he did was make it clear that seniority means nothing. He has proceeded to make it hard on employees with the most seniority while primarily hiring 18 - 20 year olds that share his political views.
Something that should not factor in on our job at all.
It’s emergency services, not a senators office.
He is the youngest department head in my state and has dreams of having the youngest department as a whole.
The problem with this is that he is primarily hiring 18 - 20 year olds who have no idea what they want to do in life and are not ready to settle into a career.
It costs thousands to train each person and they are out the door in a year or less.
He also hasn’t bothered to consider that no one is going to be ready or willing to devote their time to a job where seniority is treated like the plague.
I do think this will eventually sort itself out.
He is learning that every bit of money spent is scrutinized. County commissioners will want to know why his department has such an obscenely high turnover rate and why we are wasting thousands on people who are out the door in no time.
He’s screwing up in several ways.
savedbytheblood72@reddit
Whatever
MeowMeowCollyer@reddit
GenX trademark answer. I love it.
MaximumJones@reddit
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
As a woman, I found I was less noticed around 50. I’m not completely invisible at 53 but I think I’m sliding into it. I don’t care so much about being invisible to society. I’m still trying to hang on to my career and compete with 35-40 year olds. I guess it’s going ok until it isnt
skatoulaki@reddit
Mmhmm, I feel this. Lost my job last June, and the job market sucks right now, especially at 59! I have finally given up, took a part-time job, and consider myself "semi-retired." Luckily, my husband still has his full-time job (I think he has 30 years in at his company) and got a promotion and a raise last month. I have some side hustle ideas that I'm looking at. At this point, I've decided I'm done with working in an office. I took a job giving guided tours in a local historic cemetery, which is right up my alley!
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Cemetery tours are so cool! I have a mental list of interesting part time jobs that I want to try when I’m done with my career. Adding that to it!
I work in tech. Holding on by my fingernails to try to keep this going but I think at some point the millennials will axe me. The preconceived idea that older people can’t learn or use technology is incorrect but very prevalent. Can AI be a good tool? Sure for some things. It can’t do everything well in my opinion. This comment from me was not well received by my millennial managers-you would have thought I said the world is flat.
skatoulaki@reddit
Ha! They don't realize that a lot of the technology they're using was developed BY US! I'm a gamer, and my brain explodes every time some noob finds out I'm old and a woman! "Wow, I wouldn't think someone your age would play video games!" Kiddo, we INVENTED THEM!
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Exactly. I used to write programs in DOS, FFS. I think I can understand the limits of AI.
Havacookiewhydontcha@reddit
It’s because millennials don’t know the difference between us and boomers, they just see “old” and pile on all the same assumptions. (Maybe some X’ers are more like boomers, but that’s another post.) I experienced this same stuff too before I semi-retired after 30 years of office dwelling. I grew to hate it every single day.
Younger gens just don’t want olders around - period, like our existing is a hassle rather than a source of expertise and knowledge. It’s sad, but we feel the same about boomers so I guess it tracks.
Woody_Roger@reddit
Anymore? Have you met GenX?
Reasonable_Light351@reddit
This should have been everyone’s response here. I came here for this.
Sloth_grl@reddit
I don’t feel invisible but I can see how someone feels that way.
HallackB@reddit
I’ve been invisible my whole life. Weirdly feel more visible at 50(m) than I ever have. Had eye surgery last year and am not wearing glasses for the first time since 3rd grade. I’ve also put on a little more muscle, since my metabolism finally slowed a bit and allowed me to bulk up. It has been just wild how differently I’m treated. I can maybe get in 5-10 years before I go dark again if I stay fit.
Imaginary_Office1749@reddit
Same thing happened to me. Was attractive in my earlier years and got used to the attention. I get older and that fades, I notice that I’m turning invisible. COVID comes around and I start a regular weight training routine. Nothing too heavy, just consistent. And that alone has brought back the attention and smiles. Could also be how I carry myself but I think how I look is why. It’s crazy how well some time in the gym works.
RHND2020@reddit
54F. I don’t feel invisible. I definitely attract less attention than I used to, but that’s a welcome change. I used to feel far too much on display, subject to scrutiny and it made me feel self-conscious. I like it now - I engage with people much more, make eye contact, etc. without worrying about having to deal with unwelcome comments.
I have noticed sometimes at bars it’s harder to get quick service, but that’s an okay tradeoff for me.
I don’t worry about having nothing left to offer society. That has not been my experience. It feels like women of my age group are running lots of things.
Malice_N_1derland@reddit
52F and none of the above. I have leaned to take up more space and stop shrinking myself. I wear what I want. I wear my hair how I please. I am loud when I need to be. I let others move out of my way for a change. I don’t stop talking when someone tries to talk over me. I am loving this.
Havacookiewhydontcha@reddit
👏👏👏👏
ApatheistHeretic@reddit
I'm a dude, but have always been invisible. I learned to stop fighting it and accept it almost 30 years ago.
missdawn1970@reddit
55F here. I'm invisible in the sense that I seldom get attention from random men anymore, and I'm happy about that. But in general, I don't feel like people are ignoring me or not seeing me. I wouldn't mind being ignored by the general public, but when I'm in a place of business and trying to get service, I expect to be seen. I've never been ignored in a situation like that, though (except one time, about 7 or 8 years ago, and I was with my then-boyfriend, who was 10 years younger than me. We ended up leaving the bar because not a single bartender would approach us. And they weren't busy, one of the bartenders was just standing around. We never did figure out why they were ignoring us.)
Temporary_View_3303@reddit
Couldn’t care less. But I wouldn’t include the “anymore” as this has been my outlook for the past 20-something years.
LeighofMar@reddit
48F. No, but I don't really pay attention to who's looking at me. I mean, if I'm buying something, I'm visible as a consumer. I WFH and am the boss on the rare occasions I go to the field so I'm definitely visible as I project manage. Invisible as in attractiveness to others? I'm not looking for it so it catches my attention when I turn around and I catch a guy staring. My SO notices them more than I do at the Home Depot or wherever and tells me and I just shrug and say ok. I'm friendly. Not extroverted at all but I greet people and will exchange pleasantries when I can. I feel cute. I'm at the age of total confidence and comfort in my own skin, my style, got pep in my step. I'm told that that's very attractive to others so there's that. So no, I don't feel invisible at all.
Amateur_TimeTraveler@reddit
Invisibility is a superpower 👽
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
{community rule 2}
WeirdPervyDude@reddit
We’re pushing 60 and have never had representation in the White House.
Invisible, jaded, and grumpy af.
New-Geezer@reddit
Was I supposed to care?
IHoppo@reddit
I retired early, lost weight, my hair grew back - I'm more seen now than I was for the last 30 years. It's affected my confidence in a great way, and that builds a positive cycle - the more confident and happier I feel, the better people treat me.
LeFreeke@reddit
I’m a fat old woman and I’ve never felt invisible.
Brownie-0109@reddit
Do you wanna sue for age discrimination?
Difficult_Clerk_1273@reddit
Both. I’m a widowed 50F and I might as well not exist.
MissDisplaced@reddit
I mean in that last election, the R candidates were actively disparaging us! They want to actively take away anything from us older “childless cat ladies” who have good jobs and own houses.
MissDisplaced@reddit
I’m a 59 year old woman so of course I am invisible.
Pretty much the same as my childhood was so I guess I’m used to it.
Ambitious_Unit1310@reddit
Many of the same things that used to be said about Boomers are now said about GenX. It’s starting to be said about millennials too.
DontHugMe73@reddit
Women do become invisible after a certain age. It’s a superpower and I kinda like it.
Slight-Bowl4240@reddit
Yea I love this. My invisibility cloak disappeared after I traveled out of the country. It was a stark contrast. Coming home, back to invisibility. 48f 😁
chloe38@reddit
Oh yes I am completely invisible. Do I care? Only when someone blatantly walks passed me to cut in line in front of me. Then I will tell them to get to the back of the line LOL
Ok_Industry3016@reddit
And no phucks were given.
Grouchy-Level-3671@reddit
We are the worker bees now.. just part Of the herd.. looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Bucks2174@reddit
I couldn’t care less if I was “invisible” to other people. In fact I would prefer it.
pmbpro@reddit
Same here.
Hell, I’ve quietly taken advantage of it (and of other people’s negative attitudes too whenever they reared their ugly heads towards me) most of my life in small ways as needed, and got further ahead.
Left_Guess@reddit
I’m definitely invisible now. It’s a welcome break.
MaleficentMousse7473@reddit
When people say they feel invisible my first question is: whose attention are they seeking?
skatoulaki@reddit
I spent most of my working life WISHING I was invisible, so I don't really care anymore! Lost my job last June, and after almost a year of job hunting, I took a part-time job and am considering myself semi-retired. A few more months, and I can take one of my 401k's without a penalty, so along with some side hustle ideas I'm working on, that's my plan. Hubby is still at his 30+ year job (he recently got a promotion and a raise!), so we have health insurance through that.
I'm fine with being invisible. The last job I had cured me of ever wanting to work in an office again. I don't really FEEL old, but I totally DO feel like I'm too old for the office drama and office politics. If that's how the younger generations want to spend their days, they can have it.
FacePunchMonday@reddit
Fuck it whatever i prefer to not be visible
LizTruth@reddit
I never did care about getting attention at random.
kbchucker@reddit
It’s an age thing. We’re no longer the “coveted” demographic of TV advertisers, and anything related to most of the consumer economy. We are done raising children for the most part, so our consumption rate of food, clothing, electronics and other consumer staples has dropped off.
Young people literally don’t see us out in public.
I’m quite happy to move anonymously and quietly through the world around me.
I am at the stage of wanting to find a quiet place in the country to be farther away from the noise of life.
hapticeffects@reddit
Literally don't see us, as in "they try to walk through me as if I don't exist" and it's fucking enraging, the sense of entitlement to physical space I'm occupying.
ExtensionActuator@reddit
I no longer get catcalled but other than that, I still feel like myself out in the world.
LuceLeakey@reddit
When I hear from other older women that they feel invisible, some of them are thrilled about it. I've never sure what people mean by invisible, though. Do they mean they're not approached by the opposite sex? If that's the case, then I have always been invisible.
But in non-romantic contexts, people strike up conversations with me easily. On Saturday night I was walking down the street headed for a restaurant before seeing a concert. A couple that had been walking near me down the same street asked me if I knew any good restaurants. It turned out they were going to the same concert and we're also from out of town. We chatted a little bit and then went our separate ways. Later, at the venue, I was in the ladies room when the woman recognized me and asked how my dinner had been. It was just a small interaction, but things like that happen all the time so I don't think I'm invisible in a general sense.
StatisticianFine9368@reddit
I keep forgetting I’m 59
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
It comes at you fast
SurpriseEcstatic1761@reddit
Well I won't be 59 until 2026, just imagine what kinda wonderland we'll be living in then.
Oh,,,,, wait a minute,,,,,, oh darn
silverladder@reddit
No gender-related issue. Age/era-wise, we definitely get overlooked, I’ve seen at least two articles or news reports about the generational divide that omitted our generation entirely. However, in true Gen X fashion, I just don’t care.
More_Law6245@reddit (OP)
I've always attested to the fact that GenX appears to be the forgotten generation. But there is a weird thing in the back of my mind that I wouldn't want to have grown up in any other generation either.
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
I couldn’t stomach being part of another generation except maybe Gen Z. My kids are Z and I like them and their friends. They love our music and enjoy annoying the millennials so we have a lot in common.
silverladder@reddit
Definitely. I am grateful for my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood especially. Born in the 70s. Kid in the 80s. Prime teen years in the 90s. Analog childhood, digital adulthood. Incredible music and pop culture in general. Lots of optimism in the 80s and 90s. I miss it all.
Downtown_Anteater_38@reddit
Why would I want to be visible to society - at least in the US? Have you seen what makes up society these days. No thanks.
Won't you forget about me
Won't, won't, won't, won't, won't you forget about me...
Please don't recognize me
Don't call my name, just walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby
Grand_Taste_8737@reddit
Invisibility defines our generation, apparently.
gotchafaint@reddit
As an invisible woman I noticed how much easier it is now communicating with men. I’m no longer being sized up for fuckability anymore in random everyday situations. Although that also comes with less random perks to lol. If I’m out struggling with something I’m on my own now!
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
This is true - I’m less sized up for fuckability. Sometimes I miss the attention and sometimes I’m like thank God, no one has time for that.
Zen_Hydra@reddit
I keep the part of me that wants to impress other people on a leash.
CptBronzeBalls@reddit
I keep the people that are impressed with me on a leash.
StandardSwordfish777@reddit
🤣
Jas62021@reddit
As a woman I started noticing, and experiencing, age discrimination at around 32 within the workplace and in hiring. Which surprised me.
As far as being “visible” goes. I haven’t been visible since my 20s. And to some extent that has worked for me. It’s great when no one sees you coming.
theghostofcslewis@reddit
Anymore? I never did.
Far-Cut-3139@reddit
yep. im invisible too. sort of hurt me at first but just used to it
HighJeanette@reddit
Yes. I’m 60 and completely invisible.
Mindless_Bit_111@reddit
It depends if you are perceived to be beautiful or not. Christie Brinkley is 72 and definitely still turns heads.
bobj33@reddit
As an Asian person growing up in the south I always stuck out because there were so few of us.
Now I can walk around and everyone leaves me alone. It's wonderful.
observantpariah@reddit
I think the women complain about it more just because in the past they were much less invisible.... So the present feels noticably so. I was never a woman in her 20s. Even as a rather attractive man, I've rarely had anyone hit on me or speak to me without an introduction.
As a guy... It just seems normal to me. I grew up between two large, social generations that overlooked everyone outside of their cohort. When I was older the adults spoke over us. Then the overly social millennials turned up their volume. I just haven't really noticed anything... It just seems consistent to me.
Migamix@reddit
Job hunting past year age descrimination IS a thing.
ITSMYSFWACCOUNT@reddit
Work in IT. Can confirm.
crackersucker2@reddit
I hate being confused with Boomers.
ITSMYSFWACCOUNT@reddit
I think the meaning of that pejorative has shifted.
If people exhibit outmoded thinking on a topic they are labeled a "boomer".
As an example, there was a post in this subreddit last week where someone posted a pic of the Wolverines from 80's version of Red Dawn with the caption "We're Gen X! You wouldn't understand" The post was removed - mostly because it broke a couple of subreddit rules - but also the poster was being ripped apart in replies for "boomer" and "facebook" behavior (it was "cringe" in more modern parlance).
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
denvergardener@reddit
Amen lol
FormerLaugh3780@reddit
Fact: you are worth less at 60+ as you start the descent into complete irrelevance.
biotoper@reddit
I think this is the experience of every aging demographic. The up-and-coming generation will always be the one that draws media attention, as well as being the demographic that marketers court.
We were "today's kids" decades ago; now we're middle-aged, no longer shiny and novel. It happened to the Boomers, it's happening to us (and, to a degree, older Millennials), and it will happen to Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and whoever follows them.
IndependentlyGreen@reddit
Pretty much. People at work only talk to me if they need something. I barely speak to the coworkers in my office. I don't worry much about getting noticed. It's less I gotta do. Small talk is dead in our society. It's harder to get to know folks these days.
Tabitheriel@reddit
Maybe this is an American thing. I left the US years ago, and moved to Germany. People smile at me and talk to me all of the time, despite the fact that I am a bit introverted. I had several fun encounters today just walking around shopping.
Fudloe@reddit
I never cared.
ProfessorChaos406@reddit
Wasn't being invisible/ mysterious kinda our thing? X is an unknown in math, and I think was chosen by media to denote our perceived shared preferences/ character.
We're a smaller generation than others with only 15 years (1965-1980, compared to 1945-1964 for Boomers) that started with a decrease in the birth rate following legalization of the birth control pill. They called us the"Baby Bust(ers)" coloring the Boom(ers). Be glad that name didn't stick, X is way cooler. So yeah, that means there's fewer of us now.
rahnbj@reddit
I get the sentiment for sure. I’m a fairly outward personality type and willingly strike up conversations, mostly small talk. I find most people will engage when you break the ice, the ones who aren’t interested in talking make it known pretty quickly via short answers, body language, or both. I let them be. I also bartend part time and in that capacity people are forced to talk to me. Outside that role rarely do folks engage with me first, I’m a 56 year old white male, not today’s favorite demographic.
Fekkenbullshite@reddit
I keep hearing about it and I keep waiting for it but it doesn’t seem to be happening. Maybe I’m just in a friendlier place? Maybe I’m not looking to see who is noticing me? I def care less about that.
cosmoboy@reddit
Weight is the only place I'm above average. I'm below average in income, age at which I lost my hair and penis size. I'm 51, I'm hopefully in my last relationship. I do not care about any of it other than how it affects my health.
NoH8Kate@reddit
I definitely do. I used to joke with my youngest child that if I had a super power I’d want to be invisible. Now I actually feel that way.
As a female, a little older, a little more weight, less attractive…it’s like I don’t even exist in society anymore.
It’s not nearly as fun as I’d imagined it to be when we were joking years ago.
Honeybee71@reddit
Not really but I don’t care either lol
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
I think a lot of folks here need to turn off their computers and get out of the house more.
BmanGorilla@reddit
Isn’t that the truth. The internet has single handedly ruined…. Everything
philly-buck@reddit
Not at all. I am at my peak financially, physically and mentally.
wjs362@reddit
Absolutely. It’s not necessarily personal but it is the way of the world (at least where I live).
sometimelater0212@reddit
Couldn’t care less. Honestly. In fact, going through life not caring whether I’m noticed or not is way more enjoyable than constantly getting hit on and worrying about my looks.
pixter@reddit
Ah yea.. the GenX motto.. just fuck off and leave me alone.
krneki534@reddit
I'm in a great shape, so the girls are still seeking my attention.
There is no conspiracy here, you notice what you want to notice and ignore the rest.
Puppywanton@reddit
As an introvert I LOVE IT. To be fair, I’m invisible to younger men. Which is fine by me. It would be nice to be invisible to all men, but I’ll take what I can get.
Beruthiel999@reddit
One of the nicest things about getting older as a woman is the relative freedom from street harassment (and I was never all that pretty or anything, men just do that to younger women for the hell of it). I enjoy the peace so much.
Puppywanton@reddit
Yeah, isn’t it nice?
Beruthiel999@reddit
"Are you SAD that probably no random strange man will ever grope your ass on the train again?"
LOL no of course not
Puppywanton@reddit
Doesn’t even have to be groping (remember just minding your own business in bars and having strange men think it’s okay to put their hands around your waist as they walk past??). Just the eyeballing feels intrusive enough. If we had smartphones in those days….
Beruthiel999@reddit
Yep. I don't miss that either.
DivideFun7975@reddit
I have always wanted to be/feel invisible, there is nothing better than being left alone
pipeuptopipedown@reddit
Still visible but mostly to all the wrong people after all these decades.
Kangaruex4Ewe@reddit
49 and have wanted to be invisible forever. Glad it’s getting their finally.
Demostecles@reddit
I notice that people tend to watch me.
But then, I’ve also lost 78 pounds.
At 50 years old I now fit into my actual Levi 529’s from High School. Even my Navy dress blues and whites are loose on me now.
My whole adult life from university on, intended to weigh 220-235, so this new size feels rather different.
I only am aware of them watching because I tend to be looking at them as well. My grocery shopping today was an adventure of strangers talking to me.
anti-ayn@reddit
I mean, we also don't participate at scale where the focus is, on social media and TikTok and whatnot. I also think it's not a bad thing. Lots of things are invisible because they just "work". I think we function more as a bridge. We're in between 1) the boomers, who made everything about them, and millenials and what followed, who have a similar dynamic with a different framework.
Old__Medic_Doc_68@reddit
We have been in invisible all this time. Why change now. I love it this way. Life has been good to me so far…
No-Reward8036@reddit
Its useful when going through security at the airport. A friend once said she wanted to become a hitwoman when she retired, as nobody would suspect an old dear carrying a brolly.
Mash_man710@reddit
I've spent 55 years trying to be invisible. Almost there..
MisterNighttime@reddit
Wait, who said that?
AuntZilla@reddit
THERE! THEEEERE IT IS! See?! I saw it!!! It’s a rare, truly AWESOME, sight to behold but by golly you Gen X’er’s do have a heart. That was a superior FAFO-OG way to validate your peer.
I love this. I love y’all. I can’t wait to spend the day with my mom tomorrow. I’m so excited I can’t fkn sleep and this just made me even more excited.
Mash_man710@reddit
Well played.
blueskiesbluewaters@reddit
Couldn’t care less. I’m 58.
prairieguy68@reddit
57M and couldn’t care less. I do my own thing and don’t care what others think.
Powerful_Coyote6068@reddit
I like being invisible. No one gives any shits and neither do I.
atomic_chippie@reddit
I dont care, leave me alone.
Hefewiezen1@reddit
I do not care. If I’m invisible they leave me alone. I’m good.
xxDailyGrindxx@reddit
56M, couldn't care less, not invisible enough...
CryptographerLost760@reddit
As a female gen x, I don't feel invisible.
PermuhGrin@reddit
I prefer invisibility
MarcoEsteban@reddit
Invisible in what way? I want them to see me crossing the street, that's for sure. They seem to see me not at work when I'm trying to work from home. I don't think anyone really just looks right through me or anything. It may be the way I dress? It's pretty colorful.
What makes you feel invisible, OP?
ViewfromMyOfcWindow@reddit
I don't "feel" invisible, but it's because I "strive" to be invisible. I don't give one fuck what anyone anywhere thinks of me. Invisible is my goal and always has been. I am done with everyone except my immediate family. I know they recognize me, and that's great! Everyone else can pound sand. I like being invisible and happy about it instead of feeling like someone else should be in my face. My extended family is a fucking horror story with so much SA by my stepdad that my birthgiver wouldn't acknowledge. Uff da, fuck them. Yep, I am going to stay invisible. 🤘
sirli00@reddit
I’m in the same boat with the same family. Fuck them
GrowlingAtTheWorld@reddit
Never cared. I was once shopping with my mother and I was a bit in front of her and had stopped to look at the end cap and some dude came up beside me and I thought looked at the items on the end cap too. Mom caught up and asked me if the dude was bothering me and I said no we were just shopping the same shelves. Mom said, “He was sniffing you” … …so glad the being sniffed days are behind me.
Pigeonofthesea8@reddit
Gross. So so gross. Sorry
sirli00@reddit
I’d love to be invisible. If I had one superpower to have it would be invisibility. Sadly, even in my 50’s I’m still not invisible.
mltrout715@reddit
I don't, and if I did I would not care
Commies-Fan@reddit
Combination of everything. But the biggest factor is I dont give a shit. Ive always preferred to be mr invisible. Its just so much easier now at almost 50.
NoBaHD@reddit
Good answer!!
PNWest01@reddit
I was invisible until I started walking with a cane. Now young men are holding doors open for me again. I feel seen!
Beruthiel999@reddit
When I was young I was used to men offering me a seat on the bus (usually said no thanks with a smile). Being gentlemanly to a lady, whatever, cool, I appreciate it but don't need it.
The first time a teenage GIRL did it, it hit me that they saw me as old.
uncivil_society@reddit
I don't usually feel invisible, but I definitely can be unseen when I want to be. It's easy to just fade into the background and be left alone, which I fucking love as a very tired introvert.
Lopsided_Panic_1148@reddit
I feel like I get noticed more these days, but for different reasons, I'm an artist. I'm active in my community theater, I'm on a board for a local agency. I'm retired disabled, but I'm still busy because that what I decided to be instead of staying home all the time.
rogun64@reddit
I think Gen X feels invisible because they're ignored, but I began feeling that way after I reached 50 or so. What's odd is that I really don't think I look much different, but I think that I fell further out of touch with how I dress and behave.
Beruthiel999@reddit
Gen X also feels invisible because we're so much smaller in number compared to Boomers and Millennials. Before we were called Gen X, we were called the "Baby Bust" because numbers of babies born fell off a cliff in the mid-60s compared to the post WW2 Baby Boom years, and didn't recover again until the 80s when Millennials started being born.
rogun64@reddit
Yeah, that's what I meant by ignored, but I didn't clarify why. I completely agree, however.
Global_Friend5300@reddit
I felt invisible growing up, and through my 20’s. After that, I was too busy caring for a special needs kid to notice how others reacted to me.
Now that my kids are grown, I don’t care enough to notice how others react to me. With one exception. Medical professionals seem to view me as “a woman of a certain age” who they assume is lonely and looking for attention. Thus, I struggle to get them to take my health issues seriously. And ftr, I have family and friends that give me all the attention I need, and then some. Only someone with more money than brains makes a drs appt to seek attention.
brezhnervouz@reddit
I've been invisible my whole life
Which I prefer tbh
Important_Bit_1826@reddit
Yes, completely invisible, but expected to do all the work
mstermind@reddit
I received a 5% payrise last month so I don't feel invisible. My manager is Gen X too, though.
KingPabloo@reddit
Us men have always been invisible, welcome to the club
StormProfessional950@reddit
I'm not. I'm a fucken peacock!
ItsTheEndOfDays@reddit
tell us more…
atlgrrl@reddit
No, I don’t feel the slightest bit invisible. I actually get complimented more these days than I did in my 20s, likely because I carry myself with a lot of confidence.
StormProfessional950@reddit
Yeah same as a 47 year old male. I'm just hitting my peak and I feel that way. I think other people sense the confidence it brings. I wish I had been like this when I was younger.
Sad_Percentage_4503@reddit
I don't feel invisible in any way. I also don't give a shit.
I_am___The_Botman@reddit
I don't get this at all. In my experience you get back what you put in. I'm wondering in what context are people feeling this? In the media? On socials? Who cares about that honestly. I'm my day to day life I feel valued and looked after. I contribute in my job and community and I get the same back.
lauradorna@reddit
I don’t feel that way yet.
Flux_Inverter@reddit
I've always minded my own business and not sought out attention. Thus, I do not get into people's field of view. It is not being invisible, it is being inconspicuous. I am fine with that.
SubstanceNo1544@reddit
I spent 25 years on the smallest stage in the world (barkeep) and I am am super happy to just blend in and not be noticed now
Sa7aSa7a@reddit
I'm perfectly fine being overlooked. I like being invisible.
plemyrameter@reddit
One of the most alarming moments of my life was when I started to walk down the aisle at my wedding. Not used to everyone looking at me.
viking12344@reddit
Yeah I despise attention. Then again, I am an introvert.
Impossible-Mud3275@reddit
I’m not sure what is meant by invisible? Are you saying that you (or they) no longer feel the opposite sex’s gaze?
Terrible-Horse-6200@reddit
That hasn't happened to me yet, and I'm 54. I feel people's eyes on me a lot. Earlier today I went out for a walk and some guy gave me a sidelong look and said "Nice!" as he walked past. Still being objectified at my advanced age, I guess.
joshua_addison_music@reddit
I remember 30 years ago having respect for people in their 50’s and 60’s.
I feel like a joke now at 52. And I’m a young 52.
What the hell is happening and why does It feel like time is accelerating?
mattgwriter7@reddit
Yeah, the acceleration of time hits hard. 5 years in your 50s feels like 6 months in your teens.
Exciting_Turn_9559@reddit
GenX was born invisible, has no fucks left to give.
Nice-Track4271@reddit
I think its an age (mid50s) and gender (female) thing. My parents are still alive and I've realized it's been a lifetime of only young pretty women being seen and considered. As a gen-x woman, I'm no longer young or prettier than younger women. My value isn't as a sexual conquest or a means to provide someone with children. Mostly I find it funny. Other times it's annoying.
Alovingcynic@reddit
I don't feel invisible, because I still am opinionated and as outraged as I have always been. I care. I have always cared a lot. People told me to take a chill pill. I never did and I never will.
noseleaptilbklyn@reddit
I’m steeped in style. I’m never invisible
theUnshowerdOne@reddit
No, I don't feel invisible. But I also don't care.
BusterBus75@reddit
We are Gen X. We don't give a fuck.
eurobeez@reddit
Yes but I also don’t care. There is a certain freedom in doing what you want and not worrying about what others think. No one is looking at me anyway 🤷♀️
wyld3atheart@reddit
Besides the government . :)
eurobeez@reddit
Meh I’m pretty boring.
STGItsMe@reddit
I never cared. Why would I want people walking up to me for shit? Fuck that.
WoodsofNYC@reddit
Just tell them you remember what it was like in the 80s and 90s.
sauerkraut916@reddit
I don’t “feel” invisible, but I probably am in the general sense you mention.
In public, I prefer not to be noticed. Partly cuz I don’t want attention and prefer to be left alone, and partly cuz I’ve reached the stage where.I will run errands with zero hair care (usually a baseball hat) and no makeup.
0ddball00n@reddit
I feel invisible as a Gen Jones but only because I’m not old enough to be a boomer and not young enough to be a Gen Z. /s
InevitableCodeRedo@reddit
I've gotten some ageism, which is pretty aggravating, but I don't feel invisible in the slightest. I go out and do my thing and have the most fun possible. I've found that people of all age groups respond really positively to that. And the ones that have me painted into a corner because of my age I don't bother with.
TheWuziMu1@reddit
If I can keep a job in this economy until I retire, I'd call it a win.
I already found one job at 60, but I do not want go through it again.
Impossible_Jury5483@reddit
Same, Ive reinvented myself a few times and got hired at 51 (female) at a good company that pays well.
TheWuziMu1@reddit
Fingers crossed for both of us.
Impossible_Jury5483@reddit
Yeah, I know to motivate count on a job being " the one" .
ItsmeMr_E@reddit
Haven't really cared about other people's opinions of me since highschool.
If people like me, that's fine, if not, that's their hangup not mine.
rokken70@reddit
Meh.
John_the_IG@reddit
Love this. The most Gen X response ever to a decidedly non-Gen X concern.
theheadofkhartoum627@reddit
Definitely feel invisible but I gave up caring a long time ago.
Top-Establishment918@reddit
I feel invisible and I like it that way.
John_the_IG@reddit
No, but I also don’t care. “You’ve you, Boo” applies. My value isn’t dependent on anyone else’s perception.
Komaisnotsalty@reddit
Care stick is small.
I keep my world small and despite the fun I have on Reddit, I don't even bother with social media. The world is just loud and opinionated. Somewhere along the last 10 or 15 years, we forgot how to be kind, how to be decent, and how not to function without our faces buried in a cellphone or tablet.
The media wants us to be afraid of everything when in reality, the world isn't quite that bad.
So I don't care about my age or the age of others. I have friends in my social circle from about 25 to 65 and no one gives a damn about titles or identity or labels. We just get together and have fun. Sometimes we play cards or board games, sometimes we hit the trails and walk through the woods to the bird sanctuary. Sometimes we go out and grab a bite to eat.
Whatever. We don't care. The only rules we have: no politics, no religion, no kids, and no judgement.
Small world? Sure. We like it that way. I know not everyone can do that, and believe me, we're no tree huggers. There's no yoga zen going on. We're just exhausted with all the 'this generation is bad/ignorant/ignored/lazy' kinda stuff and so we throw it out the window.
Much easier.
salchichasconpapas@reddit
I'm not invisible
ErinRedWolf@reddit
I’m 50f, and it isn’t that I feel invisible exactly, but I am mostly no longer perceived by men in “that way” and I LOVE IT. Way less unwanted attention, and I can let my guard down a little bit.
I’m still somewhat of an eccentric auntie, and I have a few young friends (and nieces & nephews) that help keep me young. 😊
SumoHeadbutt@reddit
I am okay with that, I've always been a loner who doesn't care about boring mingling but I do enjoy Off the cuff banter
Useless mingling = bad
Off the cuff banter = good
East-Garden-4557@reddit
I do not feel invisible
phosix@reddit
denvergardener@reddit
It always felt like we were in the shadows of our parents and grandparents generations.
And we never got out of those shadows. Because the Silent Generation and Boomers never wanted to step aside. Fuck we still have Silent and Boomers running everything.
And then in almost any workplace we're being laid off en masse for Millennials and Gen Z who act like we're obsolete dinosaurs. We never really had our time in the sun.
BoopTheCoop@reddit
Pretty sure not caring is our entire schtick, no?
heathen-nomad@reddit
This is the way
sideways92@reddit
I appreciate you assuming je m'en foutais in the first place what others thought of me. But I didn't. Not one stinking merde.
I grew up in the swamps of the SE US. Way down yonder, I came up with gators and gumbo. But now I hold two BA degrees and three MAs. I speak four languages fluently and can get around in many more. Education is a delightful elevator.
As a 59M with one last kid to get through college, I'm just here for the love of my job and the paycheck. When our last daughter is done with college and off to (her idea) grad school, I hope to be done. She's on track for an assistantship, so we're out.
I'm stupidly fortunate. Through luck and being in the right place when the internet bubble rose, then crashing that into my photography degree, I landed as a cultural heritage photographer in one of the museums along the DC Mall that rhymes with Bostonian.
I spend my days doing my own thing. I'm the mentor now, and I'm loving it. I'm not climbing the scaffolding, adjusting the lights, or searching for lenses in the camera room. I'm the guide by the side, and I honestly think I'll miss it when I get my last kid into grad school or a job and can retire.
My wife is 5yrs younger and wants to continue a few years, but I keep reminding her we bought a place on the E coast of Spain. Our nearest neighbors there run a family-owned winery founded in the 14th century. Come'n love; let's get out of this espectáculo de mierda.
heathen-nomad@reddit
Couldn’t care less anymore? More like, couldn’t have cared less ever. I prefer to be invisible until I want to be seen which I can do too. There’s freedom in invisibility.
Boomer79NZ@reddit
Yeah, nah, I don't care enough to be bothered.
beach4832@reddit
Whatever
brianwhite12@reddit
I’m 100% certain I was laid off because of my age. But, I don’t care. I don’t need much, I’ll make it. And I’m 1000% happier without that job.
CptBronzeBalls@reddit
I think this is true of any generation when they reach a certain age. Old people are largely invisible. We’re old.
denvergardener@reddit
But I think over the span of our lifetime, for a combination of factors, GenX has been invisible pretty much the entire time.
When we were young we were overshadowed by Boomers who had a grip pretty much still to this day.
When we go older the Boomers still controlled everything but then Millennials skipped over us and now Gen Z are getting put into power positions. It was very telling to me during the last election when someone said GenX has never had a president from our generation.
If that doesn't sum up GenX, I don't know what does.
More_Law6245@reddit (OP)
II would happen to agree with you on that one, age discretion is age discrimination regardless of what generation. In the last 10 years I've known I have been aged discriminated but I just take satisfaction that it will happen those who dished it out to me when they get old.
Public-Air-8995@reddit
I’m really over this trope about women being invisible. It’s occurring in multiple subs.
Impossible_Jury5483@reddit
I (50F) do mot feel invisible.
localgyro@reddit
See, I don't feel invisible in society these days, and I've always felt odd about those sorts of generalizations. I'm not sure if that's because there was a degree of "being seen" that other people enjoyed earlier in life that I never did, or if I'm just particularly "loud" in my older years. I'll admit that my hair is blue/green and that I tend to stand out in a crowd.
CzarGuy111@reddit
Majority of men always been invisible man
Weird_Assignment_550@reddit
You're talking utter bollox.
Character-Twist-1409@reddit
I don't feel invisible. I have been wishing to finally be old enough to be eccentric and still not there oh well. Guess I'm just odd.
But I talk to random people all the time
Bob_12_Pack@reddit
As a shy kid I was always invisible. I didn’t like much at the time, but I can definitely appreciate it now, kinda looking forward to getting back to that.
lando-hockey@reddit
I’m sure there are still women our age who feel like they don’t get a fair shake because of gender, and I definitely felt like once we hit about 2010 that I was dismissed in meetings for being the evil white guy without doing anything wrong. I think much of that started with the corporate world becoming more and more soulless.
Hollywood was ahead of it a bit with the somewhat forgettable satirical movie “PCU” that I think John Favreau wrote. The “Womenysts” had taken over campus, etc.
We all have a ton to offer if we are willing to go out there and meet the moment, but feels harder to find kids who want to accept a mentor patron when there is such an aversion to going to the office. Our generation runs things, and we, in many cases are victims of our own post-Covid desires to never go back to the office.
epicpillowcase@reddit
I'm a woman and I don't feel invisible at all.
Sea_Mission1208@reddit
I’m def not invisible but it’s better now. Not as much unwanted attention thanks to me too and aging
Express_Towel47@reddit
I like being ignored.
Sumchap@reddit
Exactly, if only people would do that in shops instead of interfering with me and asking if I need help 🤭
Western-Corner-431@reddit
There are xers who want to be visible? No.
TheFoxsWeddingTarot@reddit
Take the win. I LOVE it.
Antique-Brilliant535@reddit
You had your moment in the sun. If you blinked, you, missed it.
Sumchap@reddit
I've never actually thought about this and can't say that I've experienced invisibility. I work in Engineering so it is generally a fairly male environment historically but definitely a lot more younger women coming through these days. We have a huge range of ages and while there might be some age related banter it doesn't tend to be something we dwell on. Might be worse in different types of work perhaps? Or maybe I'm just oblivious 🤭
broohaha@reddit
It's really hard to care. When we're not included in any talk, I'm amused that it's happened again, but that's about it. It's not important to me that I'm not included in some kind of general narrative about generations.
IAmEchosDad@reddit
Ask me when I cared in the first place!
BokChoyJr@reddit
I agree. Why does this keep resurfacing on this sub? We are who we are. To quote a man we all know…..
Fit-Reality-2872@reddit
I’m a 56 year old man….i do feel invisible often now. Even though I stay in pretty good shape …..age has changed my face and (the opposite sex especially) doesn’t acknowledge me anymore. If does bother me, unfortunately.
MoarFlavor@reddit
I prefer to be invisible. I prefer to be at home. Everything is overcrowded and no one has any awareness or common courtesy, at least in general.
Sometimesunaware@reddit
Not at all.
Inessence4@reddit
No because I’ve always been invisible. Welcome
To my world.
ItsTheEndOfDays@reddit
yes.
NeverEverMaybe0_0@reddit
Mostly because we were overshadowed by the large number of baby boomers. Most of us are used to it.
General_Ad_6617@reddit
I just don't care. Lol
mandoaz1971@reddit
I’ve never been the wallflower type.😉👍
makorancheros@reddit
Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
hyrle@reddit
I feel GenX because I just don't give a fuck.
dtl72@reddit
Couldn’t care less. Only keep on doing what I’m doing for family health insurance.
dhammadragon1@reddit
I really don't care.
MienaLovesCats@reddit
No