Anon tests if he's gay, ends up more confused than ever
Posted by GoldenIceCat@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 144 comments
Posted by GoldenIceCat@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 144 comments
bovinecop@reddit
orange_diaster@reddit
real and straight
abermea@reddit
Nah GF is probably an ok person
Puzzleheaded_Door484@reddit
Gf is probably the worst person in the story other than the molester, accusing his bf of being gay because he got molested
Slap_Dat_Ash@reddit
Me as the reader included tbh
SeamusMcCullagh@reddit
ChangingMonkfish@reddit
Slap_Dat_Ash@reddit
Razor-Swisher@reddit
What did the random hookup or gf do lmao?
I mean okay if the gf already knew about the diddling then yeah actually
616659@reddit
I don't even understand what is going on
Kleiner_garten@reddit
Unless there is stuff anon isn't telling us he is NOT one day away from being a pedo, it seems like he has full control over his actions and even under the influence of drugs you generally don't fully loose control
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
It’s not about drugs. What happened to him in childhood messed up his sexual preferences. If he doesn’t control those urges and acts on them with a child, he becomes a pedo.
_Afinef_@reddit
When you get to be My age you can spot the gal an gay from a mile away
SpaceBug176@reddit
You mfs censor swear words like your life depend on it, but then do this shit to stuff you should actually censor.
YourLocalSnitch@reddit
Whats supposed to be censored here?
neuralcalcification@reddit
The text is making anon feel things he doesn't like, so he doesn't want to look at it.
AI_Slopper@reddit
This is how I feel about my penis.
CaloricDumbellIntake@reddit
GuerillaGandhi@reddit
Just search for "BME pain olympics". Hope that helps:)
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
He saw balls in the pic, so I went back to check the original image and it is just a seam. He is still not convinced and says it is the outline, but the underwear is not even on the crotch, it is on the thigh. It is all his imagination.
arielif1@reddit
i think he means the image should be more than just scribbled over... especially in white lol
SpaceBug176@reddit
The photo...
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
If I left it uncensored, I’d probably get a 3-day ban for CSAM.
SpaceBug176@reddit
MF IM SAYING YOU DIDN'T CENSOR IT RIGHT I CAN LITERALLY SEE THAT FELLA'S BALLS
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I went back to check the original image, and it’s not his balls, it’s just the seam of his underwear.
SpaceBug176@reddit
...no shit. It's white, of course its his underwear. I was saying that its the outline.
Tonberry_Cheesecake@reddit
Really must have zoomed in there, huh pal?
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
His underwear isn’t even on his crotch, it’s on his thigh. That’s just your imagination running wild, bro.
The_Junton@reddit
You see what u wanna see lmao
Trigger_Fox@reddit
The photo is censored more than enough to be unintelilligible unless you are analysing it for detail.
Why are *you looking at the photo so closely?
SonicTh66@reddit
Everything following >be me
Tr1LL_B1LL@reddit
What a horrible conclusion of a fake and gay post..
Super_Sankey@reddit
mfs?
WhatTheFlox@reddit
Pretty sure its the short way of typing "Mother Fuckers"
HereIsACasualAsker@reddit
what's to censor here? please explain.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I play it safe since he looks young in the pic. Already got a 3-day CSAM ban once, even though it got overturned.
Metrix145@reddit
Anon is a disturbed individual with a history of childhood trauma. Real and Gay unfortunately.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
The story lines up a bit too well to brush off as fake. Childhood trauma can seriously mess with someone long-term, and he seems stuck dealing with the fallout, but at least he has a girlfriend.
Rakhered@reddit
Nah you don't just take a stab at "riding'" on a whim. That requires literal training so you don't, uh, cause anything to rip.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
He's "not disgusted by gay stuff," which covers a wide range.
VanicFanboy@reddit
OP this is clearly you that wrote this story, given how badly you want people to analyse it
SpaceBug176@reddit
"I believe MatPat is going to enjoy this 👀"
Familiar_East_1364@reddit
Assuming she knows his history, she seems quite insensitive.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Anon seems deeply troubled, shaped by childhood trauma. It feels real, and he is struggling to accept what it means, but at least he has a girlfriend.
Catboy_rawr@reddit
An_Ellie_@reddit
Picrel?
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I looked up the tags for that doujinshi for you, so yeah, pic related.
CallReaper@reddit
You know what? It's my fault for clicking ✌️
OneWithFireball@reddit
On one hand, it's my fault for unhiding this.
On the other...
An_Ellie_@reddit
Oh. I thought it would be something cute and/or hot it's just paedo shit
Numerous_Worry_6306@reddit
Okay dude what the actual FUCK this one is just weird
theceure@reddit
Cope level can not be expressed in any language of this world.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Reddit compression ruined it. I enlarged the image before uploading this time, so it should be clearer.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Reddit compression ruined it.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Reddit compression ruined it. It looks fine on PC.
ItsCocoaPowder@reddit
Anon getting r###ed as a child led to him being a pdf. He needs to go to a psychiatrist or a mental health professional asap because this is a dangerous situation to others & himself.
PillarOfWamuu@reddit
This guy NEEDS therapy. What he went through is traumatic and needs to get help. T
RymrgandsDaughter@reddit
https://i.redd.it/wdrk926113zg1.gif
--SharkBoy--@reddit
This is a disgusting and hopefully fake story
bstone99@reddit
I don’t even understand 75% of the words used in it so I’m gonna go with extremely fake and ultra gay
maicii@reddit
Fr what the fuck is nat 20?
Azathoth_The_Wraith@reddit
Natural 20 : Reference to DnD where 20 is the highest you can roll on a die
Yeseylon@reddit
Nah, the way it's written tracks. Folks who get molested as kids are more likely to end up repeating the cycle.
rokomotto@reddit
You don't have to be gay to be a prodigy at sucking dick. Just like how Beethoven was a great musician despite his hearing loss.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
You forgot to mention he’s also a great RIDERRR, and since he has a girlfriend, he’s probably decent with his saber too.
Gaybulge@reddit
I have a suspicion as to what this might be a reference to...
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
"People die if they are killed"
rokomotto@reddit
We get it OP you wanna get some of that action from Anon too ;)
Yeseylon@reddit
Honestly, it's not even that hard if you have a dick too. Just play with the parts you like played with.
TearOpenTheVault@reddit
If a 4chan post doesn’t start with some version of ‘I am straight’ can it truly be gay?
OneWithFireball@reddit
I crave the taste of a gun barrel.
Sharp-Theory-9170@reddit
This is the fakest and the gayest thread I've seen so far
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I’ll probably get downvoted, but I don’t think he’s gay if he couldn’t even get it up. Still, he got screwed over twice in life, and then literally too.
r4o2n0d6o9@reddit
He’s real for trying it and realizing it isn’t for him
_heidin@reddit
What can be straightest than having proved your straightness?
Vinyl-addict@reddit
Nah this is real and gay as fuck
Yeseylon@reddit
Technically not gay, but pedo
HierarchyLogic@reddit
it can be gay and pedo
FunnyP-aradox@reddit
In that case it's bi and pedo
ReplyAfraid7913@reddit
Bi-pedol, get it?
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I don’t think he’s gay if he couldn’t even get it up. Still, he got screwed over twice in life, and then literally too… maybe even thrice.
BRUSDHDFhd@reddit
fake: Anon's story gay: Anon
pepitobuenafe@reddit
Are you new here?
Sharp-Theory-9170@reddit
Please enlighten my day with something even more aggressively gay than this shit
pepitobuenafe@reddit
Quick example https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/XDyMYAL2vZ
Sharp-Theory-9170@reddit
I think my gayometer says this is still slightly gayer
ktsb@reddit
it's not just my fault for having eyes some of the fault is my parents for teaching me to read
PomegranateHot9916@reddit
what a weird story to make up
SuspiciousPine@reddit
Somehow the only part I believe is anon being a pedo
Shibari_Inu69@reddit
“Ride him” 💀
Impossible_Arrival21@reddit
CUB RIDERRRRR
FloatingHamHocks@reddit
Bottom bottom.
TheTreeDemoknight@reddit
Fake: Anon had sex
Gay: Anon has fantasies about fucking a dude
ChadPowers200_@reddit
I remember being wasted in key west and these gay dudes came up and hit on me. I'm like bro im not gay and hes like how do you know if you never tried it. My semi blacked out genius brain said, are you a cannibal? he goes no, i go how do you know you haven't tried it. He just looked at me kinda offended and walked away
Yeseylon@reddit
This reads like a greentext.
Uniq_Eros@reddit
This reads like an imaginary conversation in the shower after running away from some aggressive gay guys.
arielif1@reddit
Wow, what a surprise, someone that was raped as a child has a complicated relationship with sexuality and childhood.
That aside, what kind of psychopath jokes about their boyfriend/girlfriend having a crush on their childhood molester? who the fuck does that?
Anyways, I know my first sentence sounds like i'm joking about the situation, but it really is tragic. I wish nothing but therapy and recovery on OP. God, I hope whatever passes for therapists nowadays have a way to deal with situations like this.
McNuggetAQL@reddit
Jesus Christ.
CrayonWithdrawal@reddit
Unrelated but reddits image encryption is so arse that when i zoom in image gets blurrier
lutteni@reddit
I might be too innocent for this greentext, what does "cub" mean in this context?
KennKennyKenKen@reddit
What's Nat 20
heavyPacket@reddit
It’s like a gay nerd term, like super gay nerds who play dungeons and dragons, they say “nat 20” when they win the rights to own the sex slave twink for a round.
maicii@reddit
How the fuck does anon know that at least he is gay af
FunnyP-aradox@reddit
It's like a bear but younger (from what i can get from the story, probably minor)
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
From WikiHow: someone who’s chubby or thick and has relatively little body hair.
Champomi@reddit
Thank you OP for searching up all the words for us! I'm definitely not googling an unknown word from a greentext with that kind of picrel and written by someone who reads shota lol
Yeseylon@reddit
Good chance OP didn't look it up. Any guy who bangs other dudes should know cub, twink, otter, bear, etc. The scary possibility is the other meaning of cub - basically loli/shota but furries. Be careful when searching.
lutteni@reddit
Yeah I've heard of bear but cub got me a bit scared there with the implications
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I swear I just learned this word, and I also didn’t know it could mean loli/shota!
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I swear I just learned this word.
Hyperversum@reddit
Otter was new to me, thank God I am not gay I guess
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I think it means fat.
jonatna@reddit
"Heh you probably have a crush on the guy who molested you." What? why would you date someone who teases you about that?
Malvastor@reddit
Doesn't say the girlfriend actually knows about the guy molesting anon.
But also if anon still hands around his molester enough that it looks like a crush, he's clearly bad at distancing himself from people.
maicii@reddit
Maybe he molested him while they were like 11 and 5 something like that? Not that it makes it better but if you are now 30 and 35 or whatever you might have forgave him.
i__dont___know@reddit
Anon cheated on his gf
Wiinterfang@reddit
The fuck did I just read.
UcHiHa_0bIt0@reddit
yeah I don't get it 🙂
No-Section-4385@reddit
pdf confirmed.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
I thought "cub" meant a chubby guy, but someone said it can also refer to loli/shota in furry slang, so… Schrodinger's pedo?
StandardN02b@reddit
Mom said it's my turn to post the cat.
3darkdragons@reddit
literally is tho. In old world speak we'd call this black magic or demons. We've merely been gaslit out of the terms. God bless the schizophrenics who see the patterns and bring the knowledge back into the yoke. Their "hallucinations" would be more positive if they we're treated like the shaman's they are.
zj--@reddit
spirac@reddit
Yeah yeah code please
Drakekanye@reddit
Every time i scroll my feed its just gay gay gay from greentext. Is that the only shit that gets posted on 4chan?
Quick-Scratch2691@reddit
Just post the cat and this
wimpetta@reddit
Zalar01@reddit
MisterGoo@reddit
The fuck is « nat20 » ????
Yeseylon@reddit
Wait, how are you on the Internet without every interacting with Dungeons and Dragons?
MisterGoo@reddit
Are you asking me how I’m on the internet not interacting with a real-life RPG? Maybe the answer is that I’m not a teenager (but when I was, there was not internet).
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
A moment of extreme luck or skill, often called a "crit" or "critical success," a concept discussed in detail in this Reddit thread.
MisterGoo@reddit
I know what a crit is. What does it have to do with a nat?
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Natural, it means he is extremely talented at what he is doing.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
Natural, it means he is extremely skilled at what he is doing.
ReturnRadio@reddit
I don't know why I'm even surprised at this point.
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
What surprised you?
Yeseylon@reddit
All of it lmao
Divine-Crusader@reddit
What in the fuck
SemblanceOfSense_@reddit
I skipped to the end and I no longer have the urge to go back and read the whole thing
GoldenIceCat@reddit (OP)
You’ve got to read the whole thing. Not a line wasted, everything ties together like a well-crafted novel, but it feels real.
SemblanceOfSense_@reddit
Thanks I wanna kill myself more than before now
kaiserkeller_@reddit
Donutmelon@reddit
:(