TheaterFire

One of the perks of getting into your 40s as a woman:

Posted by PhoneJazz@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 85 comments

I only have ONE baby shower to go to so far this year!

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85 Comments

Spirited-Bee5939@reddit

I haven’t been a bridesmaid in DECADES. My friends aren’t having attendants at their second weddings.
View on Reddit #85094407

addicted-to-spuds@reddit

I haven’t either, and then I agreed to be in my buddy’s wedding, thinking I’d be in the groom’s party. Nope, bridesmaid. Fuck.
View on Reddit #85097832

sleigh_all_day@reddit

My brother had a woman as a grooms(wo)man. She wore the same jacket, shirt, tie, and boutonnière but traded slacks for a skirt.
View on Reddit #85099000

addicted-to-spuds@reddit

I had to back out of being a groomswoman, several years ago. I was so excited to wear a suit, too, but a family member passed away and my obligations changed. I thought maybe I was finally getting my redemption arc, instead I have a formal gown and heels that are probably too tall.
View on Reddit #85108658

sleigh_all_day@reddit

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be asked to stand with the person you are supporting i.e. family or close friend. What was their reasoning?
View on Reddit #85110475

Hips-Often-Lie@reddit

Happy cake day!
View on Reddit #85099188

addicted-to-spuds@reddit

GASP!! It **is** my cake day! Thanks, man! 🎉
View on Reddit #85108163

OohBeesIhateEm@reddit

I’m a bridesmaid for the first time in my life now actually. Fuckin hell I’m so glad most of my other people didn’t do it this way.
View on Reddit #85100858

Classic-Arugula2994@reddit

Just thinking about this the other day LOL
View on Reddit #85096162

emsumm58@reddit

my friends are happily married assholes not throwing a fun party for us!
View on Reddit #85095592

ahawk99@reddit

For me, it was noticeably my “give a shot meeter” changed. I don’t waste my time on others peoples idiocy. You want me to give a shot about this drama you started? Earn it. My new moto is “you do you.” I can’t change the fact that people are going to do questionable stuff but I’m choosing my peace over your waves.
View on Reddit #85094359

Impressive_Plant_643@reddit

I love the misspelling of meeter. Like it’s a me-ter (if it doesn’t benefit me, it isn’t happening)
View on Reddit #85094713

ahawk99@reddit

Thanks. My spelling is awful
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i_nobes_what_i_nobes@reddit

But the best part about that, is that you don’t give a fuck! 😆
View on Reddit #85096615

ahawk99@reddit

Ai t it the truth
View on Reddit #85105084

Basic_Magician7070@reddit

My final straw was followed by getting off instagram and facebook. Life is exponentially better when not being fed a barrage of rage-bating, egocentric bullshit.
View on Reddit #85097313

fictionalbandit@reddit

Now we just get it in long form here!
View on Reddit #85099404

Basic_Magician7070@reddit

Reddit is much more manageable (for me). I don’t *usually* leave this site seething with hatred lol
View on Reddit #85100142

OohBeesIhateEm@reddit

I unsubscribed from all the subs that I noticed were firing me up. Ain’t nobody got time for that
View on Reddit #85100943

winobambino@reddit

I miss MySpace lol
View on Reddit #85100810

winobambino@reddit

Amen to this!! Similar shift, I simply don't have the time or energy. It has meant distancing myself from some friends who I used to be close with. I pay attention to how I feel when I interact with them and if it is making you feel worse or they are so needy they are draining you it is not a balanced friendship. Can't fix people's problems for them!
View on Reddit #85100760

May_of_Teck@reddit

My family has seen me almost die twice, and my mother actually is dead. I thought we *all* learned that life is too short, and all the bullshit arguing over the years was all for nothing. NOPE. Siblings and dad still want to do bullshit, and I was the only one who learned anything. Cool, I am out.
View on Reddit #85098196

rainydaymonday30@reddit

I came here to say this. I absolutely just do not give a shit anymore the same way I used to. It's liberating.
View on Reddit #85097328

tres-vip@reddit

It just occurred to me that I've never been to a baby shower, lol. Most of my female friends never had kids, just like me.
View on Reddit #85096121

mmm_unprocessed_fish@reddit

Watching people open gifts is one of the most boring things on earth to me. I’m childfree, so baby gifts are extra boring. I went to a co-ed baby shower once. I had lots of friends there, male and female. A few guys and some older kids stayed in the basement watching a movie while gifts were being opened, so I did too. Mother-to-be chastised me later. Sorry, girl. I care about you and your baby, just not all the shit it needs. We’re not even really friends, so I was surprised she even noticed. I guess maybe when she opened the gift from my husband and I? Idk. He was upstairs.
View on Reddit #85101882

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

I went to one, and it was such an uncomfortable experience (all the fake oo-ing and ah-ing ... gag) that I've turned down every invitation to a wedding or baby shower since.
View on Reddit #85098156

Deep-Ad4351@reddit

I truly give less fucks about how people see me. I wear comfy clothes and I don’t care about makeup when I go out in public. People should just be grateful that I smell nice.
View on Reddit #85101440

thoughtfractals85@reddit

I just don't have any friends. It cuts way down on social obligations. My best friend from highschool had 8 kids so I had my share of baby showers before the 3rd was born. She lives across the country now so it's not practical to be involved. I'm not close enough to any extended family to even be invited which is cool with me.
View on Reddit #85095398

stations-creation@reddit

Same. All my friends have moved away and I moved a town over. Really frees up the ol sched!!
View on Reddit #85100957

PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit

I've never been invited to anything except during work hours for colleagues.
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batastronaut@reddit

Less street harrassment 😂
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forgettingroses@reddit

But still not zero.
View on Reddit #85095894

PhoneJazz@reddit (OP)

I was never catcalled, even in my 20s. I am legitimately getting hit on more in my 40s than I was in my 20s though. Maybe because I am actually single now?
View on Reddit #85096197

i_nobes_what_i_nobes@reddit

That happens to me but not because I’m single but because I no longer give a fuck. In my 20s, like all I wanted was validation from men, but now I could give two fucks whether or not somebody looks at me and at this point like please don’t. Please don’t look at me, or talk to me, or make me have to interact with you.
View on Reddit #85096720

stations-creation@reddit

I’m a server and people don’t look at me haha. Ugly and old CHECK!
View on Reddit #85100806

Edlo9596@reddit

I do too, but I know its only because I’m somewhat thin for the first time in my life.
View on Reddit #85099247

Ok-Necessary123@reddit

My wife now takes it as a complement if she gets cat-called when she’s out running. She was all excited (jokingly) that a car full of high school aged boys were cat calling her when she was crossing at a traffic light.
View on Reddit #85096481

apuginthehand@reddit

My experience has been that I’ve had less “positive” male attention and more negative male attention (as in, I only get noticed now when someone is angry at me - lots of angry men in my area with road rage, store rage, just rage in general). Tbh it has made me much more of a homebody. I love my house and my yard and don’t particularly care about the city I live in, except that it’s close enough to family that I feel a bit trapped here. I’m not sure if the grass is significantly greener anywhere else with regard to the anger issue, but I hope so.
View on Reddit #85096678

glassy_milk@reddit

All these funerals I've been going to are making me miss the baby showers
View on Reddit #85100686

stations-creation@reddit

I think only one of my close friends had babies. ONE. I am also childless.
View on Reddit #85100613

FletchMom@reddit

I have two this year… because my friends’ kids’ are having kids 😭
View on Reddit #85094488

Haven@reddit

My first grandbaby is due in about a month ❤️
View on Reddit #85100597

Jaded-Owl8312@reddit

Fuuuccckkkkkk
View on Reddit #85099396

PrncessVespa@reddit

Same - one friend had 2 grandkids last year, and 2 others are having some this year
View on Reddit #85097296

gonyere@reddit

I can feel this coming. 
View on Reddit #85096498

Haven@reddit

I’m expecting my first grandbaby soon, it was so fun shopping for baby stuff again! I don’t miss the showers though for other folks kids, but this one? Omg I’m splurging so much!
View on Reddit #85100552

BadAtExisting@reddit

Fewer baby showers. More divorces. The parade of funerals begins
View on Reddit #85095863

bakedinsandiego@reddit

The mom-sister funeral two-fer was rough for me.
View on Reddit #85100374

BadAtExisting@reddit

Oof. I’m so sorry
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Edlo9596@reddit

The funerals are so sad, especially when you have a bigger family, and grandparents/parents with multiple siblings. They all start going at the same time.
View on Reddit #85099360

BadAtExisting@reddit

Yeah. My aunt, my mom’s younger sister passed about a year ago. Supporting my mom through that was tough. She’s still very sad and gets depressed when she thinks about it. She will say she was supposed to go first
View on Reddit #85099983

Unique-Moment-8199@reddit

The funerals stacking up is depressing. I don't feel old enough to have so many close friends gone already
View on Reddit #85097916

namastewitches@reddit

Also, the grocery store playlist is all of my jams
View on Reddit #85100407

winobambino@reddit

Hahaha relatable- I am childless very much by choice, baby showers are so painful!
View on Reddit #85100383

PickledPixie83@reddit

I lost touch with most my high school friends by moving cross country and not for college, so I didn’t make a gaggle of new friends. I was just working and paying bills when most of my old friends were getting married and having baby showers. I have been to my sisters wedding and baby shower, and one friend’s second wedding. That’s it.
View on Reddit #85100375

Ripley_1_2_3@reddit

My give a damn is finally busted.
View on Reddit #85100248

remoteworker9@reddit

My nieces and nephews are all having kids so I’ve had plenty to attend.
View on Reddit #85099898

sleigh_all_day@reddit

Most of my friends are childfree, like me, so I’ve been fortunate to attend very few. I attended more in high school than I do as an adult. As for weddings, most of my friends, including myself, didn’t get married until our mid-30s to early 40s. By that time, we matured past the need for a large bridal party. I’d say another perk is hindsight. I’m able to identify the patterns in my life that both hinder and help my progress. That info proves to be invaluable, and it can only come with time and experience.
View on Reddit #85099541

drifterinthedark423@reddit

A couple of weeks ago I helped throw a baby shower for my bestie. She is 43 and this is her first child. It was the first baby shower I have ever been to. So I guess a perk would be that now I know that I never want to go to another one ever again.
View on Reddit #85099301

HobbyMedia@reddit

Went to a baby shower back in November because my 42 year old best friend got pregnant (NOT on purpose) 10 years after her husband’s vasectomy. They have 3 other kids. He still has a zero sperm count *and* they did a DNA test even though there was no question about fidelity. My perk is birth control no longer screws me up mentally like it did before perimenopause. Happily childfree.
View on Reddit #85099154

_ism_@reddit

i've never been to a baby shower or a wedding as an adult. i win! hahaha
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SadPhase2589@reddit

Yeah but funerals start to pick up.
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Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

Who's downvoting you? It's true.
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WendyPortledge@reddit

Just don’t have other female friends and you don’t get invited to showers! Lol worked for me.
View on Reddit #85098029

SmallSaltyMermaid@reddit

I hosted my cousins bachelorette party. Jesus. The hurt feelings of the maid of honor. She went upstairs to cry and the bride (my cousin) was TEXTING her. I told my cousin to go upstairs and talk to her. And it was hurt feelings because the MOH thought that the bride was disappointed in the events of the party. I found myself being so grateful for not having emotional insecurities about trivial stuff.
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Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

Oh God, who knows it?
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NoContextCarl@reddit

I've been to two in my 40s...my own. 🤨
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lsp2005@reddit

My friends are all married, and their kids are still too young to be married. Everyone had kids by 41, so no baby showers now either. In 10-15 years I can see all of the above happening for my kids and my friend’s kids. 
View on Reddit #85097834

Smartal3ck@reddit

I’ve never been invited to one so nyah!
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Sea-Significance8047@reddit

In NYC late 30s is when all the baby showers start to hit full force.
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yowza_wowza@reddit

I kinda like being invisible. I've recently lost a lot of weight due which has caused a few men to notice me again. I don't like it. I prefer to be an invisible old woman to men.
View on Reddit #85097721

babyBear83@reddit

True until my oldest niece had a baby! I’m a great aunt! It was actually pretty cool and didn’t make me feel too old like I thought it would.
View on Reddit #85097340

Unusual_Piano7118@reddit

I’m so thankful that the last one I had to go to was when I was 28.
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SimpleVegetable5715@reddit

I got myself a present when I got surgically sterilized.
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KlutzyBlueDuck@reddit

I just got home from urgent care for a sinus infection and they actually were pretty chill about believing me when I said idk my exact last period date and I'm not pregnant. I feel like that's a first. 
View on Reddit #85097202

japhia_aurantia@reddit

I don't mind a baby shower, but the last one I attended was 3 years ago. I'm actually excited that I get to go to two weddings this year - my 46yo cousin and my 25yo nephew. From talking to the nephew and his fiancée, there will probably be another baby shower in a year or two. It's all just fun parties with friends and family, so what's not to like?
View on Reddit #85095087

The_Max-Power_Way@reddit

People are very grouchy these days. I can't imagine feeling like not going to parties to celebrate my friends was a good thing.
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OatmealCookieCrust@reddit

I agree. I genuinely enjoy celebrating my friends and family. Just went to a baby shower yesterday and had a lovely time.
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Aol_awaymessage@reddit

In 2012/13 my wife and I were in 10 fucking weddings. 10! It’s nice to have friends but holy shit that year sucked us dry.
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PhoneJazz@reddit (OP)

Yup, 2013 bride here
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teriKatty@reddit

My social circle isn’t that big. I’ve only been to 2 (not including coworker showers at work) since my own when pregnant with my 14 yr old.
View on Reddit #85095251

knivesofsmoothness@reddit

At a 50th birthday last night and we were joking how some spouses had been replaced.
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crazycatlady331@reddit

I have Gen Z cousins. They're at the babies part of life now (the oldest baby just turned 2). On no other occasion would showing with something literally made to shit in be an acceptable gift.
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kheret@reddit

I never had many to begin with. Only a couple of my friends ever ended up having kids.
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NavyBlue_2050@reddit

Haven’t had to go to one in almost 2 years and it’s been great.
View on Reddit #85094425