One of the perks of getting into your 40s as a woman:

[-]

Spirited-Bee5939@reddit

I haven’t been a bridesmaid in DECADES. My friends aren’t having attendants at their second weddings.

Reply

[-]

addicted-to-spuds@reddit

I haven’t either, and then I agreed to be in my buddy’s wedding, thinking I’d be in the groom’s party. Nope, bridesmaid. Fuck.

Reply

[-]

sleigh_all_day@reddit

My brother had a woman as a grooms(wo)man. She wore the same jacket, shirt, tie, and boutonnière but traded slacks for a skirt.

Reply

[-]

I had to back out of being a groomswoman, several years ago. I was so excited to wear a suit, too, but a family member passed away and my obligations changed. I thought maybe I was finally getting my redemption arc, instead I have a formal gown and heels that are probably too tall.

Reply

[-]

sleigh_all_day@reddit

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be asked to stand with the person you are supporting i.e. family or close friend. What was their reasoning?

Reply

[-]

Hips-Often-Lie@reddit

Happy cake day!

Reply

[-]

addicted-to-spuds@reddit

GASP!! It **is** my cake day! Thanks, man! 🎉

Reply

[-]

OohBeesIhateEm@reddit

I’m a bridesmaid for the first time in my life now actually. Fuckin hell I’m so glad most of my other people didn’t do it this way.

Reply

[-]

Classic-Arugula2994@reddit

Just thinking about this the other day LOL

Reply

[-]

emsumm58@reddit

my friends are happily married assholes not throwing a fun party for us!

Reply

[-]

ahawk99@reddit

For me, it was noticeably my “give a shot meeter” changed. I don’t waste my time on others peoples idiocy. You want me to give a shot about this drama you started? Earn it. My new moto is “you do you.” I can’t change the fact that people are going to do questionable stuff but I’m choosing my peace over your waves.

Reply

[-]

Impressive_Plant_643@reddit

I love the misspelling of meeter. Like it’s a me-ter (if it doesn’t benefit me, it isn’t happening)

Reply

[-]

ahawk99@reddit

Thanks. My spelling is awful

Reply

[-]

i_nobes_what_i_nobes@reddit

But the best part about that, is that you don’t give a fuck! 😆

Reply

[-]

ahawk99@reddit

Ai t it the truth

Reply

[-]

Basic_Magician7070@reddit

My final straw was followed by getting off instagram and facebook. Life is exponentially better when not being fed a barrage of rage-bating, egocentric bullshit.

Reply

[-]

fictionalbandit@reddit

Now we just get it in long form here!

Reply

[-]

Basic_Magician7070@reddit

Reddit is much more manageable (for me). I don’t *usually* leave this site seething with hatred lol

Reply

[-]

OohBeesIhateEm@reddit

I unsubscribed from all the subs that I noticed were firing me up. Ain’t nobody got time for that

Reply

[-]

winobambino@reddit

I miss MySpace lol

Reply

[-]

winobambino@reddit

Amen to this!! Similar shift, I simply don't have the time or energy. It has meant distancing myself from some friends who I used to be close with. I pay attention to how I feel when I interact with them and if it is making you feel worse or they are so needy they are draining you it is not a balanced friendship. Can't fix people's problems for them!

Reply

[-]

May_of_Teck@reddit

My family has seen me almost die twice, and my mother actually is dead. I thought we *all* learned that life is too short, and all the bullshit arguing over the years was all for nothing. NOPE. Siblings and dad still want to do bullshit, and I was the only one who learned anything. Cool, I am out.

Reply

[-]

rainydaymonday30@reddit

I came here to say this. I absolutely just do not give a shit anymore the same way I used to. It's liberating.

Reply

[-]

tres-vip@reddit

It just occurred to me that I've never been to a baby shower, lol. Most of my female friends never had kids, just like me.

Reply

[-]

mmm_unprocessed_fish@reddit

Watching people open gifts is one of the most boring things on earth to me. I’m childfree, so baby gifts are extra boring. I went to a co-ed baby shower once. I had lots of friends there, male and female. A few guys and some older kids stayed in the basement watching a movie while gifts were being opened, so I did too. Mother-to-be chastised me later. Sorry, girl. I care about you and your baby, just not all the shit it needs. We’re not even really friends, so I was surprised she even noticed. I guess maybe when she opened the gift from my husband and I? Idk. He was upstairs.

Reply

[-]

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

I went to one, and it was such an uncomfortable experience (all the fake oo-ing and ah-ing ... gag) that I've turned down every invitation to a wedding or baby shower since.

Reply

[-]

Deep-Ad4351@reddit

I truly give less fucks about how people see me. I wear comfy clothes and I don’t care about makeup when I go out in public. People should just be grateful that I smell nice.

Reply

[-]

thoughtfractals85@reddit

I just don't have any friends. It cuts way down on social obligations. My best friend from highschool had 8 kids so I had my share of baby showers before the 3rd was born. She lives across the country now so it's not practical to be involved. I'm not close enough to any extended family to even be invited which is cool with me.

Reply

[-]

stations-creation@reddit

Same. All my friends have moved away and I moved a town over. Really frees up the ol sched!!

Reply

[-]

PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit

I've never been invited to anything except during work hours for colleagues.

Reply

[-]

batastronaut@reddit

Less street harrassment 😂

Reply

[-]

forgettingroses@reddit

But still not zero.

Reply

[-]

PhoneJazz@reddit (OP)

I was never catcalled, even in my 20s. I am legitimately getting hit on more in my 40s than I was in my 20s though. Maybe because I am actually single now?

Reply

[-]

i_nobes_what_i_nobes@reddit

That happens to me but not because I’m single but because I no longer give a fuck. In my 20s, like all I wanted was validation from men, but now I could give two fucks whether or not somebody looks at me and at this point like please don’t. Please don’t look at me, or talk to me, or make me have to interact with you.

Reply

[-]

stations-creation@reddit

I’m a server and people don’t look at me haha. Ugly and old CHECK!

Reply

[-]

Edlo9596@reddit

I do too, but I know its only because I’m somewhat thin for the first time in my life.

Reply

[-]

Ok-Necessary123@reddit

My wife now takes it as a complement if she gets cat-called when she’s out running. She was all excited (jokingly) that a car full of high school aged boys were cat calling her when she was crossing at a traffic light.

Reply

[-]

apuginthehand@reddit

My experience has been that I’ve had less “positive” male attention and more negative male attention (as in, I only get noticed now when someone is angry at me - lots of angry men in my area with road rage, store rage, just rage in general). Tbh it has made me much more of a homebody. I love my house and my yard and don’t particularly care about the city I live in, except that it’s close enough to family that I feel a bit trapped here. I’m not sure if the grass is significantly greener anywhere else with regard to the anger issue, but I hope so.

Reply

[-]

glassy_milk@reddit

All these funerals I've been going to are making me miss the baby showers

Reply

[-]

stations-creation@reddit

I think only one of my close friends had babies. ONE. I am also childless.

Reply

[-]

FletchMom@reddit

I have two this year… because my friends’ kids’ are having kids 😭

Reply

[-]

Haven@reddit

My first grandbaby is due in about a month ❤️

Reply

[-]

Jaded-Owl8312@reddit

Fuuuccckkkkkk

Reply

[-]

PrncessVespa@reddit

Same - one friend had 2 grandkids last year, and 2 others are having some this year

Reply

[-]

gonyere@reddit

I can feel this coming.

Reply

[-]

Haven@reddit

I’m expecting my first grandbaby soon, it was so fun shopping for baby stuff again! I don’t miss the showers though for other folks kids, but this one? Omg I’m splurging so much!

Reply

[-]

BadAtExisting@reddit

Fewer baby showers. More divorces. The parade of funerals begins

Reply

[-]

bakedinsandiego@reddit

The mom-sister funeral two-fer was rough for me.

Reply

[-]

BadAtExisting@reddit

Oof. I’m so sorry

Reply

[-]

Edlo9596@reddit

The funerals are so sad, especially when you have a bigger family, and grandparents/parents with multiple siblings. They all start going at the same time.

Reply

[-]

BadAtExisting@reddit

Yeah. My aunt, my mom’s younger sister passed about a year ago. Supporting my mom through that was tough. She’s still very sad and gets depressed when she thinks about it. She will say she was supposed to go first

Reply

[-]

Unique-Moment-8199@reddit

The funerals stacking up is depressing. I don't feel old enough to have so many close friends gone already

Reply

[-]

namastewitches@reddit

Also, the grocery store playlist is all of my jams

Reply

[-]

winobambino@reddit

Hahaha relatable- I am childless very much by choice, baby showers are so painful!

Reply

[-]

PickledPixie83@reddit

I lost touch with most my high school friends by moving cross country and not for college, so I didn’t make a gaggle of new friends. I was just working and paying bills when most of my old friends were getting married and having baby showers. I have been to my sisters wedding and baby shower, and one friend’s second wedding. That’s it.

Reply

[-]

Ripley_1_2_3@reddit

My give a damn is finally busted.

Reply

[-]

remoteworker9@reddit

My nieces and nephews are all having kids so I’ve had plenty to attend.

Reply

[-]

sleigh_all_day@reddit

Most of my friends are childfree, like me, so I’ve been fortunate to attend very few. I attended more in high school than I do as an adult. As for weddings, most of my friends, including myself, didn’t get married until our mid-30s to early 40s. By that time, we matured past the need for a large bridal party. I’d say another perk is hindsight. I’m able to identify the patterns in my life that both hinder and help my progress. That info proves to be invaluable, and it can only come with time and experience.

Reply

[-]

drifterinthedark423@reddit

A couple of weeks ago I helped throw a baby shower for my bestie. She is 43 and this is her first child. It was the first baby shower I have ever been to. So I guess a perk would be that now I know that I never want to go to another one ever again.

Reply

[-]

HobbyMedia@reddit

Went to a baby shower back in November because my 42 year old best friend got pregnant (NOT on purpose) 10 years after her husband’s vasectomy. They have 3 other kids. He still has a zero sperm count *and* they did a DNA test even though there was no question about fidelity. My perk is birth control no longer screws me up mentally like it did before perimenopause. Happily childfree.

Reply

[-]

_ism_@reddit

i've never been to a baby shower or a wedding as an adult. i win! hahaha

Reply

[-]

SadPhase2589@reddit

Yeah but funerals start to pick up.

Reply

[-]

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

Who's downvoting you? It's true.

Reply

[-]

WendyPortledge@reddit

Just don’t have other female friends and you don’t get invited to showers! Lol worked for me.

Reply

[-]

SmallSaltyMermaid@reddit

I hosted my cousins bachelorette party. Jesus. The hurt feelings of the maid of honor. She went upstairs to cry and the bride (my cousin) was TEXTING her. I told my cousin to go upstairs and talk to her. And it was hurt feelings because the MOH thought that the bride was disappointed in the events of the party. I found myself being so grateful for not having emotional insecurities about trivial stuff.

Reply

[-]

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

Oh God, who knows it?

Reply

[-]

NoContextCarl@reddit

I've been to two in my 40s...my own. 🤨

Reply

[-]

lsp2005@reddit

My friends are all married, and their kids are still too young to be married. Everyone had kids by 41, so no baby showers now either. In 10-15 years I can see all of the above happening for my kids and my friend’s kids.

Reply

[-]

Smartal3ck@reddit

I’ve never been invited to one so nyah!

Reply

[-]

Sea-Significance8047@reddit

In NYC late 30s is when all the baby showers start to hit full force.

Reply

[-]

yowza_wowza@reddit

I kinda like being invisible. I've recently lost a lot of weight due which has caused a few men to notice me again. I don't like it. I prefer to be an invisible old woman to men.

Reply

[-]

babyBear83@reddit

True until my oldest niece had a baby! I’m a great aunt! It was actually pretty cool and didn’t make me feel too old like I thought it would.

Reply

[-]

Unusual_Piano7118@reddit

I’m so thankful that the last one I had to go to was when I was 28.

Reply

[-]

SimpleVegetable5715@reddit

I got myself a present when I got surgically sterilized.

Reply

[-]

KlutzyBlueDuck@reddit

I just got home from urgent care for a sinus infection and they actually were pretty chill about believing me when I said idk my exact last period date and I'm not pregnant. I feel like that's a first.

Reply

[-]

japhia_aurantia@reddit

I don't mind a baby shower, but the last one I attended was 3 years ago. I'm actually excited that I get to go to two weddings this year - my 46yo cousin and my 25yo nephew. From talking to the nephew and his fiancée, there will probably be another baby shower in a year or two. It's all just fun parties with friends and family, so what's not to like?

Reply

[-]

The_Max-Power_Way@reddit

People are very grouchy these days. I can't imagine feeling like not going to parties to celebrate my friends was a good thing.

Reply

[-]

OatmealCookieCrust@reddit

I agree. I genuinely enjoy celebrating my friends and family. Just went to a baby shower yesterday and had a lovely time.

Reply

[-]

Aol_awaymessage@reddit

In 2012/13 my wife and I were in 10 fucking weddings. 10! It’s nice to have friends but holy shit that year sucked us dry.

Reply

[-]

PhoneJazz@reddit (OP)

Yup, 2013 bride here

Reply

[-]

teriKatty@reddit

My social circle isn’t that big. I’ve only been to 2 (not including coworker showers at work) since my own when pregnant with my 14 yr old.

Reply

[-]

knivesofsmoothness@reddit

At a 50th birthday last night and we were joking how some spouses had been replaced.

Reply

[-]

crazycatlady331@reddit

I have Gen Z cousins. They're at the babies part of life now (the oldest baby just turned 2). On no other occasion would showing with something literally made to shit in be an acceptable gift.

Reply

[-]

kheret@reddit

I never had many to begin with. Only a couple of my friends ever ended up having kids.

Reply to Post

85 Comments