What was the most ridiculous playground rumour or urban legend that everyone at your school accepted as absolute, undeniable fact?
Posted by Necessary_Angle2117@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 239 comments
Following on from thinking about school days... I remembered how gullible we all were.
At my primary school, it was accepted as a scientific fact that if you rocked back on your plastic chair, you would crack your head open and die, because it "happened to a kid at another school last year." There was also a persistent rumour that one of the P.E. teachers secretly lived in the gym equipment cupboard.
Looking back, the stuff we blindly believed before we had smartphones to Google it was hilarious. What was the completely baseless myth that gripped your school?
Wooden_Astronaut4668@reddit
Something to do with Ricky Martin hiding in a wardrobe on tv to surprise a girl and the girls dog licking her fanny…can’t remember the exact deets 🤣
rubymoon90@reddit
That if you did the "white lady" ghost thing in the girls loo Infront of a mirror, she'd suddenly appear and murder you.
SeasonReasonable4282@reddit
That the new girl was a hermaphrodite, because she never did any sports or PE. Her name was Nichola, but everyone called her "Nick the Dick" She was only at the school for about 3 months. This was early 70s.
Capable_Vast_6119@reddit
Marc Almond had a pint of spunk drained from his stomach
Wooden_Astronaut4668@reddit
My partner literally brought up this rumour last night but it didn’t go round my school so I wasn’t aware of it but after reading this I feel like I somehow missed out as everyone seems to have heard it 🤣
the_hu55tler@reddit
Almond milk.
UglyFilthyDog@reddit
That's a lot of nuts
Capable_Vast_6119@reddit
Lol!
Tuarangi@reddit
Was a few pints when it did the rounds for our school/early internet days. 1 pint even of cum isn't sufficient to make people go to hospital for a stomach pump, like drinking a protein shake in volume/consistency
jdsuperman@reddit
This came up about a year ago and more than one poster absolutely SWORE it was true. Someone said their aunt was the nurse on duty at the hospital when he came in. When asked how, or indeed why, the duty nurses were able to chemically test and identify 100 different men's spunk, there came no answer.
Snoo-84389@reddit
There it is!
I remember hearing this one 😀
Expert_Dot1927@reddit
And when it was tested some of it wasn’t human…..
SpunkSacks@reddit
This sprang to my mind too.
It’s a lot of ejaculations. 162 on average.
A lot of people scorn AI but it’s great for calculations like this.
Silvestris1@reddit
a whole pint??? i mean that's just impressive
Capable_Vast_6119@reddit
"That's almost an armful "
UntappdBeer@reddit
Tony Hancock 👍
ApplicationSouth8844@reddit
I nearly woke my other half up laughing at this one
alexanderbeswick@reddit
Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could suck his own cock.
MJLDat@reddit
You mean the kid from Wonder Years?
Frantastic79@reddit
In my day it was Prince.
Pmyers225@reddit
Manson for me, but I've also heard Prince of Bowie before too
Escapedtothecountry@reddit
Marc Almond in my time.
Snoo-84389@reddit
Plus, of course, the 'stomach pumped in hospital' story...
the_roguetrader@reddit
I read Marks biography
he claimed that story hurt him more than anything else in his life
I just kept thinking - surely no grown person with even half a brain could believe that was true
Snoo-84389@reddit
I was in my early teens, certainly not a "fully grown person", and even then I thought it was probably complete madeup nonsense!
Kids be doing kids stuff...
Tuarangi@reddit
Probably before biology lessons and realising how little comes out and not thinking about the logistics of how much would be needed
TheYorkshireGripper@reddit
Ironically, 3 guys who probably had no trouble at all getting their cocks sucked.
DameKumquat@reddit
Prince or Rod Stewart.
Living_Substance9973@reddit
I wouldn't leave the house if I could do that.
SnooHabits8484@reddit
I’ve heard it’s a lot more like sucking a dick than having yours sucked, which isn’t a problem if you already enjoy both but could be offputting if not
_arch_tech@reddit
"You've heard"
cari-strat@reddit
"...Fernando, master of self fellatio!"
Icy_Distribution3467@reddit
That was well decadent
Sgt_major_dodgy@reddit
I remember seeing a vieeo of Ron Jeremy saying it back in the day.
He'd know.
Tuarangi@reddit
There's a video of him doing it for a porn shoot
SnooHabits8484@reddit
Sadly I’m not flexible enough. I have sucked a dick though, enjoyed it.
auntie_eggma@reddit
Why do people say things like this?
Imagine admitting that just constantly being sucked off is all you want out of life.
Being that sex obsessed is not healthy.
Living_Substance9973@reddit
For a bit of fun? Terribly sorry if I have offended you, won't happen again.
auntie_eggma@reddit
I guess I have to wonder what's fun about telling people you would wank yourself to death if you could.
Living_Substance9973@reddit
Alrighty then, have a wonderful time wondering 😊
UglyFilthyDog@reddit
In all fairness I'm having a wonderful time wondering but that's just how I roll.
auntie_eggma@reddit
Oh I've stopped.
I have better things to do.
redseaaquamarine@reddit
When people say this, it is a joke. It is one of the jokes that everyone waits for someone to say, as it is part of the culture. No one means it seriously, and everyone knows that - but someone has to say it
auntie_eggma@reddit
Spoken like someone who never considers the impact "jokes" have on the general societal environment.
"It's just a joke" betrays a total lack of understanding of human nature and how messages are transmitted and internalised.
Be less immature.
Rob_Haggis@reddit
Reddit: “That guy can suck his own dick. lol”
/u/auntie_eggma: “You all have a complete lack of understanding of human nature and you should feel bad”
Calm down love, it’s not that deep.
auntie_eggma@reddit
And you just showed how shallow you are.
"It's not that deep" is the clearest sign someone finds thinking through the implications of things too taxing.
Rob_Haggis@reddit
Enlighten us then, O Great One.
What are the implications of implying Prince can suck his own cock?
auntie_eggma@reddit
Mate, I'm not wasting any more time with you.
You want to go through life with the understanding of a goldfish that's on you.
Goodbye.
ReallyNotSureYKnow@reddit
There's a Bloodhound Gang song that starts off with that line and goes rapidly downhill. But it wouldnt be a Bloodhound Gang song if it didnt get worse.
space_absurdity@reddit
Yeah, if you removed your rib you probably wouldn't leave your house...
Living_Substance9973@reddit
I think that's what I just said?
Jayflux1@reddit
We had this but it was Michael Jackson
UglyFilthyDog@reddit
That one would be the least surprising of the rest I've seen here.
Just-an-idiot-online@reddit
It's amazing how this spread worldwide pre internet.
DrHLecterCookingTips@reddit
I heard Morrissey had an extra rib added to stop him sucking his own cock.
sm3g-h3ad@reddit
And heaven knows he's miserable now
IAmACoolFella@reddit
😂 fantastic
Salt_Safety2234@reddit
Yes! I heard this one!!
D0ntEatPaper@reddit
Ahhhhh what a throwback ❤️ idk why literally everyone just accepted it as fact xD
Lebowski85@reddit
I'm pretty sure I was the one who invented the Marilyn Manson rib rumour
blue_rizla@reddit
For us it was Purple Aki.
Imagine my shock when 15 years later I found out that what I took to just a fairly racist urban legend bogeyman amongst Greater Manchester schoolboys was actually true and he really did exist.
Warm_Stress_1654@reddit
We threw javelins (once, and once only, if memory serves me) and our PE teacher took us through some basic safety rules. For a start, you don't even dream of throwing it unless everyone else in the class is standing behind you - that sort of thing. But his main point was about when you go up to retrieve it after throwing. You turn around and face behind yourself before pulling it out of the ground, so as to be absolutely sure that nobody is running up behind you. The back end is also very sharp.
There was a terrible tragedy in a school just up the road [he named it, you wouldn't have heard of it] when a bairn pulled their javelin out of the turf and, in so doing, rammed the end directly into the throat of a schoolmate coming up behind, killing him instantly.
We were all very careful, of course, but - with hindsight - why wasn't that story in all the newspapers and, for that matter, on the BBC national news?
Tuarangi@reddit
There have been cases of pupils hit and even killed by javelins that were on the news
1983 case of pupil hit and killed
1987 case of pupil who ran into a javelin held by a pupil
Warm_Stress_1654@reddit
I left school in 1982.
adamswan9@reddit
Milky bar kid stuck two pencils up his nose and slammed his face of the desk to kill himself as he got bullied so much from the advert.
LizzieJune17@reddit
...Quote: There was also a persistent rumour that one of the P.E. teachers secretly lived in the gym equipment cupboard...
There was a persistent rumour that our Art teacher kept his stash of pot in the art supplies cupboard.
That one might have been true though...
Agreeable-Item-7371@reddit
There was a stone statue in the garden next to the school playground. Rumour had it that its eyes would flash bright red sometimes and if you happened to see them, you would “turn evil.”
Careful_Stick2322@reddit
UK/. Circa 1988, that somehow adjacent to the burgeoning acid house music scene, who’s mascot was the smiley face, a violent group of individuals were prowling the Home Counties accosting innocent school aged individuals and forcing piano wire into their mouths to give them a smiley face.
Agreeable-Item-7371@reddit
OK but this is terrifying 😆💀
Doc_Dish@reddit
I remember this rumour but being related to "Chelsea Smilers" (mentioned on https://littleatoms.com/article/killer-clowns-and-chelsea-smilers-moral-panic-urban-legend)
Moppy6686@reddit
Richard Gere shoved a gerbil up his ass
thistlewold@reddit
That those jelly aliens would produce a baby alien if you stuck them back-to-back overnight.
Nuthetes@reddit
weird how that rumour spread across the whole country in the largely pre-internet days lol.
The main hall in one of my school buildings was about 20 foot high and everybody used to lob there's on the top of that and they were impossible for the caretaker to get down. So the hall roof just had dozens of aliens stuck to it for a whole term.
Fanny_Flapps@reddit
*there's
Now they'res a reason why you should of paid more attention their instead :)
Necessary-Trash-8828@reddit
I hope this was a joke…. 😂
Fanny_Flapps@reddit
Theirs no need to laugh, it's not they're fault
Necessary-Trash-8828@reddit
Ok I get it! 😂
Fanny_Flapps@reddit
Should of seen your face they're
Hearthacnut@reddit
**you’re face
rcdchu74@reddit
You are physically hurting me 😂
Thundercunt247@reddit
*should have.
Fanny_Flapps@reddit
They'res no way that's correct mate. I of even checked with Suzy Dent, I'll of you know.
slimyslag@reddit
Maybe you should have been paying a bit more attention, too 😉
BraveLordWilloughby@reddit
Lol, we has thst one too.
Did they do anything at all?
General_Ignoranse@reddit
Mine did! Staying over at my friends house, we put ours together and in the fridge. In the morning, two little alien babies!
Looking back her mum must have very sweetly done it, but boy was that exciting
ThrustersToFull@reddit
That pulling out meant a girl would not get pregnant. This was proven incorrect by several couple who were… courting.
apple_kicks@reddit
Yep, everyone thinks they can pull out until in the moment. Also there is a thing called precum that comes out during arousal that can sometimes carry sperm and risk of pregnancy, so even if a guy successfully pulls out in time this can still cause a pregnancy to happen
elnovino23@reddit
Precum, AKA Tety (potatoe) water in my local playgrounds
Tuarangi@reddit
Precum carrying sperm is one of these weird things about humans - the only way it shoud happen is if the guy has ejaculated earlier and has not had any reason to "clean" the urethra like going to the loo as the precum itself does not carry sperm as it's not produced in the testicles but it does still happen!
Always use a condom!
laughinggrvy@reddit
We watched some rubbish sexual health education VHS in high school that was supposed to dispel this rumour, as well as if you did it standing up then the sperm would fall down - so no baby.
I found it ridiculous, but then kids in the room were arguing in favour of the myths. The poor teacher who'd been made to do the sex ed class clearly just wanted to fold in on himself and disappear.
ThrustersToFull@reddit
LOL the second time I ever did it, the girl said we should do it standing to cut the chance of pregnancy. I was like “errr yeah we can do it any position you want but I’m wrapping this up.” She wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
OnTurtlesAndThings@reddit
My niece is a wonderful human being and it all worked out well despite being the product of teen pregnancy.
But she wouldn't exist if my brother hadn't believed you couldn't get a girl pregnant if she was on top.
BraveLordWilloughby@reddit
Pulling out is 98% effective.
Pulling out too late, however, is far less so.
After-Dentist-2480@reddit
98% effective. That’s a bit like being 98% faithful to your spouse, isn’t it?
Dimac99@reddit
You might be upset to learn that condoms are 98% effective against pregnancy with perfect use and around 82% effective if not used correctly, often described as "typical" use. Source: NHS.
Tuarangi@reddit
The 98% effective is a bit of a strange one, it basically means if used properly, over a year, on average 2 women out of 100 could get pregnant as a result of things like ripping, slipping off or existing damage not noticed when using. Obviously if a rip is noticed and the pill is taken within 48 hours you will basically never get pregnant
After-Dentist-2480@reddit
So not effective.
ChanceHovercraft1754@reddit
Still substantially better than the 78% of withdrawal.
The NHS number for typical effectiveness is also on the low end in general for reports on it usually (80-~87%) reported so it might be a bit higher.
At the end of the day though only implants or sterilization are reliable in typical use.
BraveLordWilloughby@reddit
When you dont want one to begin with, 98% of a baby is better than 100%
After-Dentist-2480@reddit
If you don’t want a baby, surely 100% effective is much better.
Or as you might say, “effective”.
First_Willingness846@reddit
60% of the time it works every time.
opopkl@reddit
Someone I went to school with has a 48 year old daughter. I know I'm old but it just doesn't seem possible.
Salassi22@reddit
Puerto Rican pull out 💪 , hasn't failed me in 27 years
WanTwoThousand@reddit
There were stories that one of the teachers held a misbehaving child out of the window by his ears, a few years previously. Different teacher depending on who you spoke to, but there was always the 'proof' that someone's older brother/sister had seen it happen.
I heard someone years later, from a totally different school, say they had the same story. I now think the teachers might have started this little gem (or at least not refuted it) as it helped keep the kids a little scared of them.
We also had the obese girl at school not turn up for about a week. A few other girls said with absolute certainty that she'd 'gone to a special fat camp and will be really thin when she comes back'. Needless to say, the larger girl returned a few weeks later looking and weighing exactly the same as before.
GrumpyCatPerson@reddit
That the girls toilet was haunted by a girl who was murdered by one of the teachers who still worked there. I mean, I see the logic there… Not.
Any_Revolution_4988@reddit
The geography teacher had a wooden tit, and the male gym teacher had a wooden testicle.
Icy_Distribution3467@reddit
The kid from the frosties advert getting bullied so much that he took his own life
_arch_tech@reddit
There was a 5th year a few years ago who got so stressed during exams that he put a pencil up each nostril and slammed them on a desk to kill himself in the exam hall. Clearly true that one.
MajikChilli@reddit
I heard that was the boy from the frosties advert
JohnLef@reddit
This was circulating in the 80's
_arch_tech@reddit
It was early/mid 90s when it went round my school.
EmptyStock9676@reddit
That one of our elderly teachers used to fight bare knuckle for money down at the docks
ComplexSquirelll@reddit
That a boy in my class had had one of his testicles replaced with a ball bearing.
Frantastic79@reddit
I actually knew a kid who lost a ball. It wasn't replaced with a ball bearing, though, but with a fake silicone testicle. How do I know? Because he burst the stitches, took it out, and showed it to me. You will not be surprised to hear that his nickname was "Psycho".
giltkid@reddit
I think there's a lad who's lost a testicle in every year, ours was called Flid (sorry, it was the 80s) and the story was it got caught in a bike chain during a 'scrambling accident'. He never denied it.
mierneuker@reddit
A kid in my school lost his in a cycling accident. Came off his bike, somehow got caught up in it as he and the bike slid downhill at speed, ended up with the bike wheel all bent out of shape and one of the spokes through his nut. Very unfortunate. Happened right in front of another classmates house, so no chance of keeping it quiet either.
Last I knew he was a barman in Ibiza (20ish years ago now), so I doubt it even affected his sex life.
Wanita_1972@reddit
I went to school with a lad called Flid too. Apparently in the 80’s it was an acceptable nickname.
True-Register-9403@reddit
Ah yes - Wonder how old clackers knackers is doing these days....
wybird@reddit
The story about the kid getting his head stuck in one of those big recycling containers and then bummed by a random stranger was around for years before the Inbetweeners used it. Assume of the writers heard the same story, it was in the car park at the big Tesco in Baldock.
Front-Tart-5091@reddit
So what you're saying is the first 18 people to have discovered him in this state just happened to be opportunistic homosexual rapists?
PrestigiousTest6700@reddit
Allegedly Katie got ran over by a bus and all her organs came out her vagina. Allegedly….
SomeHSomeE@reddit
Story went round that one of the cool kids (whose house was on the next street from me) shagged my cat.
School boy coolness hierarchies being what they are: I was the one who got bullied for this (that someone shagged my cat) rather than the alleged cat fucker.
kackers643259@reddit
there was a small brick building at my first primary school somewhere in the infants playground, i don't remember what it was for (it might've just been a storage thing) but it just had an old looking plain wooden door with nothing but a keyhole in it
we used to believe that a creepy man lived in it and it was a popular dare to knock on the door which people would rarely do because they were afraid that the man would come out and "get" them
Particular-Fly-7783@reddit
I grew up in the West Country and the rumour was Asian (as in Japan, china, etc) had “sideways vaginas”. Completely impossible to prove or disprove because we didn’t have any Asians in our school / town / not many in the entire county.
Tuarangi@reddit
It was a common story among Vietnam soldiers too. Snopes has a whole thing on it as it's a frequent Google search apparently
JohnLef@reddit
Jeez, my grandfather (RIP) used to tell me this one. Maybe he heard it at school? He was born in 1918.
Theroosterami@reddit
I did rock back on my chair & split my head open. But I didn’t die, just got a load of staples in the back of my head
SomeHSomeE@reddit
My sister broke her arm doing this. She used to hook her arm around the back of the chair and tip backwards. Parents just thought it was a bad graze until it swelled up the next day.
the_hu55tler@reddit
The cleaners hadn't sweeped the floor?
feralhog3050@reddit
Yeah, my partner did but then fell forwards & smashed his teeth
b135702@reddit
One of the language teachers was a pedophile.
Turned out it was another teacher no one suspected who had kids in the school 🙃 he was only in jail for 5 years.
Worried-Penalty8744@reddit
It was the caretaker at my school allegedly following the girls with short skirts upstairs.
I don’t think anything ever actually happed though he did mysteriously just stop being at school when I was in Y11.
Tuarangi@reddit
Weirdly the caretaker at my primary school too! He was a sports coach or something as well so it was his athletes not the school kids
Lady-of-Shivershale@reddit
Was the actual paedophile a math teacher or a music teacher? It always seems to be one of them.
True-Register-9403@reddit
Probably the pedo teacher who started it to throw people off the scent...
Nuthetes@reddit
That this lad got bummed in a tent by his cousin whilst camping. Weirdly he ran with it for a while until admitting it didn't happen.
He was a bit of a weird kid, I think he saw getting bummed in a tent as his doorway to getting attention and becoming popular.
Tuarangi@reddit
There's a version of it for older kids at a house party where a girl is letting guys take turns on her while leaning out the window and the last one is her brother as she comes back into the room after
ChewpapaNeebrae@reddit
Well, they do say that the bumhole is the doorway to popularity
Emergency_nap_needed@reddit
My old high school had a weird square in the middle of it that was used to keep chickensin way back in the 70s. There were two corridors with classrooms facing each other, the dining hall at the rear end and the main corridor at the front. The corridor on the left was supposed to be haunted and none of the rooms were ever used because of this. The reality was that there was a great big hole in the roof and it wasn't safe. Made a great rumour though
I_will_never_reply@reddit
A swans wing could break your back
2grundies@reddit
Stan Laurel was Clint Eastwood's dad.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
There was a teacher in a wheelchair at my high school who had the unfortunate rumour that her legs weren’t real and were just tights filled with sand.
Couldn’t tell you how it started but only that it existed years before I started and persisted for years after.
TankFoster@reddit
"her legs weren’t real and were just tights filled with sand."
That's amazing! 😆
(Also, why can't I "quote" when I reply anymore?")
Tuarangi@reddit
There's a bug in the app, at least on android, since they switched to the weird edit thing where your text is bigger, it's noted on the bugs sub but no idea when they will fix it. I'm sure the predictive text is worse as well.
universe_from_above@reddit
TankFoster@reddit
You used to just highlight the text and then it gave you the option to "quote". But that's not there anymore.
Disappointing.
opopkl@reddit
This is plausible. Cankles in tights look like that.
nightwing_87@reddit
And no-one stabbed them to find out?!
thistlewold@reddit
We had an allegedly peg-legged German teacher. I don't think she actually had an artificial leg, it was just because she wore opaque knitted tights every day even in heatwaves.
Realistic_Beyond_903@reddit
If you chop a worm in half it survives as 2 worms
Gwrinkle67@reddit
Keep your mouth closed when you aren’t talking or eating, because if someone slaps you on the back when its open, you’ll never be able to close it again.
JohnLef@reddit
If you pull a face and the wind changes it will stay that way.
If you sneeze with your eyes open your eyes will pop out
Slow-Tomatillo1147@reddit
If you looked in the mirror at midnight and said “Bloody Mary Bloody Mary I killed your baby” she would turn up behind you
JeffBroccoli@reddit
I honestly have no idea who Bloody Mary was even meant to be, but I remember this exact same rumour in my playground in the early 90s
Worried-Penalty8744@reddit
Bloody Mary.
Or Candyman
Or Biggie Smalls, for us of the South Park generation
JackXDark@reddit
What’s really fun is to get in a car and look in the wing mirror and say all those and then floor it and make them race.
Worried-Penalty8744@reddit
Screwed if you glance at the rear view mirror by accident while doing it though
JackXDark@reddit
Yeah, it’s probably safer to do on a motorbike. I’ll try it that way next time.
laughinggrvy@reddit
Ours was just saying "Bloody Mary" three times in a mirror, any time of the day. We'd dare each other to do it in the school toilets.
Nuthetes@reddit
When I did teaching in Taiwan, I told this rumour to my students and less than 30 seconds later, two of the girls said they wanted to go to the bathroom. I knew they were gonna try it out. I waited outside the door listening and whacked on it as hard as I could after the third bloody mary to give them a fright.
Lady-of-Shivershale@reddit
I am in Taiwan.
I mentioned Bloody Mary a couple of weeks ago and one of my students said it has to be done at midnight. So, yup, kids here know Bloody Mary without our help.
opopkl@reddit
My daughter told me that. I said "Let's try it". She pulled me away from the mirror at the second Bloody Mary. We'll never know.
Bubbly_North_2180@reddit
We believed this and our friend went to the bathroom to try it but didn’t come back. We were hysterical and ended up telling a teacher that she’d clearly summoned Bloody Mary. Turns out, she’s just a social kid and had got distracted on her way back and completely forgot that we might be waiting to see if she was ghost fodder. 🤦🏻♀️😂
ApplicationSouth8844@reddit
Then there was the chain mails. I never passed them on, I just couldn’t be bothered and so eventually my school friends stopped sending me them.
thistlewold@reddit
It was Black Mary in my school. Classic sleepover truth-or-dare fodder.
Dazzling-Bear3942@reddit
If the school bus was more than five minutes late you were allowed to go home and it did not count as an absence.
CardiologistAny2161@reddit
At school at Bermondsey there was a rumour that seemingly everyone believed that there were a gang of ‘Chelsea Smilers’ who would target kids from my school and cut permanent smiling scars into our faces. I remember people getting pretty hysterical about it (late 80s). Nobody turned up.
Careful_Stick2322@reddit
That there was a covert teacher led sex cult discovered the year before we started at that school.
Many years later I discovered on a friends reunited forum it was true, with victims still allegedly in therapy over a decade later owing to their lingering trauma. The teacher in question was jailed.
Choccybizzle@reddit
There was a lad who left school at the end of yr 8, a strange boy I don’t think he was all there. It was just accepted that he’d been ‘bummed to death’ by his dad and his older brother.
LittleMissTwoLegs@reddit
We had something a bit like that. If anyone left without explaining, even teachers, the rumour would go round that they'd been hit by one of those big lorries with logs in the back and had both legs amputated. I heard that one at least 3 times.
flaaaan_mon7@reddit
Kinder Bueno Egg toys. Around 2006/2007 they had those coloured bunny rabbit toys? We were all convinced they could have babies if we traded them and left them together overnight😭
SnooLobsters8265@reddit
I will say that I am a primary school teacher and every primary school teacher does have a ‘child rocking on a chair’ story. In my case the boy fell forwards and gashed his cheek open on the corner of the table and had to have it glued in hospital. I remember putting pressure on it while waiting for his mum to come pick him up and take him to A&E and blood was literally GUSHING out, all over my hands. Horrifying. Also the pause between the impact and the scream haunts me.
So anyway I don’t allow chair rocking in my classroom.
Darkus185@reddit
We had one that when Hollyoakes was on if there was someone dressed in a towel or a black or mixed race person appeared on the screen you had to throw your shoe at the TV. Not doing so was seven years bad luck.
You must have had ones about the least popular kid shitting into a waste paper basket?
whakashorty@reddit
Mike Barns bummed a dog for pie and chips.
AromaticVacation3077@reddit
That Miss Stewart, the P3 teacher, was a witch. As I recall this was almost entirely based on a 'What's your favourite colour' conversation she had with the class in which she identified her favourite colour as black. That's mind bending when you're 7.
bez_lightyear@reddit
The back of the school had some woods that were out of bounds except for cross country running. The rumour was there was a man who lived in the woods called The Welly Man whose outfit was just wellies and an erection and if he caught you in the woods he would bum you to death.
I'm surprised my school didn't supply 20 of Britain's fastest long distance runners of the 1980s due to that rumour...
Express-Training5428@reddit
Local swimming pool had a rather high "top" diving board. Everyone was too scared to use it as someone once did a belly flop into the pool and all of their guts and puddings spilled out into the water....
Alert_Mine7067@reddit
In secondary school (Northern Ireland) it was rumoured that one of history teachers, had a massive tattoo on his back that associated him with a loyalist paramilitary aka a murderous criminal gang (the protestant, non security forces side of the troubles).
This was in my generation, but people I knew outside of school that had attended this school, and were around 10 years older than me, and people I knew that went to the school and were 7-8 years younger than me that also went to the school, had also spoken of it. Whether there was any truth in it or not I'm unsure, but it was definitely passed down through generations. What I always wondered was who would have seen him topless for the rumour to begin.
Another, we have a soft drink made locally by Coca Cola NI and in the Republic, it's called BPM. It was 35p for a 500ml bottle when I was a kid, and it stayed quite cheap, so it's price made it very popular amongst kids. When I was a kid, around 2001, a rumour started "if you drink BPM it'll make your balls shrink" even now, people of my generation make reference to this rumour, and if someone was seen drinking a bottle of BPM at school they'd have got "yano that makes your balls shrink?" Viscous rumour and nobody had ever concocted a rumour of what it done to girls.
kelota_@reddit
That one girl was so stressed in her maths GCSE that she put a pencil up each nostril and hit the pencils on table in the middle of the exam and k*lled herself. I don’t know where the rumour came from but we all believed it
Chuck_Miller_PZ@reddit
At my school we had a Geography teacher who had an eye-patch. He had a thick Northern accent, a beard and always seemed to be annoyed and spoke in an impatient growl. He was clearly as tough as nails and we were all scared of him.
As well as Geography he would also do the odd PE lesson, mainly athletics and cross-country (where he would run the course crazy quick and then return and berate all the kids that weren’t trying).
The rumour was that he had taken a javelin to the face and that’s why he had to wear an eye-patch
Jimbob136925@reddit
Initial thoughts: teacher was a pirate…
jolittletime@reddit
That someone had killed themselves in an exam (in another school obvs) by putting pencils up their nose and slamming their head on the desk.
BuncleCar@reddit
If you ate pips from fuit then a fruit tree would grow inside you
SmugMiddleClarse@reddit
That the woman who sang with the Communards on Don't Leave Me This Way (Sarah Jane Morris) was really a man. Everyone at school stated it as fact and I used to watch them on Top of the Pops and think she was a very convincing woman. I think I just assumed it to be true until I was an adult and saw her in some other context
Enchant2020@reddit
The kid that jumped off the top diving board in the local swimming baths and split in half when he hit the water!
Not just at one school either- there were slightly different versions in different schools.
cari-strat@reddit
I actually knew someone who came off the high board and hit the side of the pool on the way down. Didn't die but did severely fuck him up.
Brilliant-Figure-149@reddit
Those were the days when municipal swimming pools had diving boards as standard. Presumably there are some left but no idea where.
LondonHac@reddit
Bogwashing was part of daily life at senior school. Bigger kids were constantly hunting for younger kids to stick their heads in the toilet and pull the flush. Mostly an urban myth to scare the new years 7s with.
ChanceHovercraft1754@reddit
I actually did get bog washed by my bullies in like year 5/6.
Whole fucking ordeal with them having to write these apology letters up and stuff which honestly just got me beaten up even harder the next week 😂
LondonHac@reddit
Ha ouch
bonkothehonko@reddit
Chewing gum remaining in your stomach for 7 years if you swallowed it
Green_Octopuss@reddit
I still believe this one
Pmyers225@reddit
Or it wrapped around your heart and stopped it beating
gtr011191@reddit
Wrapped around your lungs and stopped you breathing at our school.
tuckedupnuts@reddit
That one of our female teachers had "a wooden tit".
Cue random outbursts of Beach Boys style "wooden tit be nice".
owmuch@reddit
I'm never gonna hear that song properly again!
Fluid-Let3373@reddit
There was one old building on the opposite side to the school car park, History lessons were in just one room on the top floor. Rumor was the other rooms contained something so evil even teachers were too scared to go into them.
TremorThief12@reddit
That god exists
jeanclaudecardboarde@reddit
Yeah, went to church schools. Looking back, did the adults pushing that nonsense actually believe it themselves?
Jayflux1@reddit
Kel from “Kenen and Kel” died in a car accident
CakefartsCakefarts@reddit
Liquorice is made of rats blood
EpponeeRae@reddit
Did you go to school with Roald Dahl?
arthousepsycho@reddit
That a guy on death row agreed to be executed by samurai sword as part of the original TMNT live action movie and its in the film!!!
I was always dubious of this even then, but I knew many people who believed it.
DollySheep32@reddit
If you go in a specific cubicle in the girl's loo a sewer rat will jump up and bite your bum. And yes, I started it.
EpponeeRae@reddit
Good way to get your own private cubicle
WittySatisfaction958@reddit
That one of our PE teachers was actually a guy and she caught her sack on a badminton stand causing her balls to fall out.
fenney@reddit
To be fair to every school ever, I did rock back on my chair and fall and crack the back of my head open on the desk behind me when I was about 10. I didn't die, though.
TheYorkshireGripper@reddit
I guess the people who did it and did die won't be able to comment on a reddit thread lmfao
No_Atmosphere1852@reddit
I heard that you'd died in that incident
FitTechnician3110@reddit
Tom Smith had sex with his cat.
Petty-Artichoke@reddit
Caroline Thompson sucked off her dog.
rab10000@reddit
We had one where a certain girl allegedly put m and ms up her fanny and let her dug lick them out.
Same girl also allegedly used a frozen sausage as a dildo and when it defrosted she had to go for an emergency operation to have it removed
No_Grapefruit8985@reddit
There was a rumour that someone had stopped briefly halfway down the flume in the local pool and wedged razor blades between the joins in the sections of the tube, so subsequent swimmers would get terrible flesh wounds as they shot over them. Obvious nonsense - not least because the joins were in the wrong direction - but for years I breathed a small sign of relief when I reached the bottom without being slashed and losing half my blood …
jcmush@reddit
Edinburgh?
Petty-Artichoke@reddit
We had this one - except the razor blades were attached with chewing gum. Recently took my kids to flumes and my 12 year old told me the same rumour very earnestly. I’m oddly comforted that, despite access to smartphones, her generation gets to enjoy the same nonsense more than 30 years later.
MeggyMoggy@reddit
“Your pupil is actually a hole in your eye and if your careful enough you could stick a pencil in it, I know a boy that did it but he doesn’t go to this school…”
I actually attempted it but I wasn’t careful enough and it just hurt and made my eye water.
1nkSprite@reddit
To be fair, your pupil is a hole in your eye. It's just covered by a lens...
Zippyversion1@reddit
Every red van was coming to kidnap us.
A kid at secondary had stolen enough methylated spirits to douse himself and set himself on fire.
porksandrecreation@reddit
That when the Harry Potter films came out, every kid called Harry Potter got to go to the premiere but also that multiple Harry Potters killed themselves because they were bullied for being called Harry Potter. One day, this kid was threatening to throw himself out a window at our school and the rumour was it was because he was called Harry Potter (he wasn’t).
hocfutuis@reddit
The toilet block was haunted. It was just totally part of school lore. I had a bladder of steel as a child, because I wasn't about to get spooked whilst doing my business!
porksandrecreation@reddit
At my primary school, we had a haunted cubicle. No one would ever use that particular toilet even if there was a massive queue or the little ghost girl would get you.
Pmyers225@reddit
Did you go to Hogwarts or something?
SpectreSingh89@reddit
Rocking chair made yer breath stink. Smoking one puff takes away 5 sec of your life and also, first smoke gets rid of hair throat permenantely (hair throat)😂
mrcoonut@reddit
The cold spoon test
tinned_peaches@reddit
The kid in the Frosties advert killed himself with a pencil up the nose.
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
Robbie Williams' Rock DJ video was inspired by a guy who took LSD which makes him think he was an orange so he peeled his own skin off.
feralhog3050@reddit
We had the same rumour about the guy thinking he was an orange after dropping LSD, but i'm probably about the same age as Robbie Williams... I wonder if that was just the standard 80s school drugs-are-bad thing
seadcon@reddit
That luigi is real
semicombobulated@reddit
That our maths teacher was an alcoholic whose drink of choice was Calpol and whiskey. Confirmed when we found a bottle of Calpol in her storage cupboard.
justcoatesy@reddit
At my junior school there was a long ramp down to ‘the cellar’ which was out of bounds. A rumour had circulated for years that it was out of bounds because a dinner lady was murdered down there.
It sounded plausible to my 7 year old self.
Jayflux1@reddit
Dogs can’t look up
maxster94@reddit
Did you go to school with big Al?
Curious-Abalone@reddit
Not accepted as fact exactly, but we were genuinely worried:
That when you get to Year 7, you're paired up one boy with one girl, and you get given 'fake parts' that you have to 'put on' somehow and... Yeah. That that's how sex ed worked in high school. 😬
BOrdinary01@reddit
Ginger rapist of Epping Forest late 1990s. Pretty dark. No idea who started it or why.
Salassi22@reddit
That black people cum brown, I helped keep that one alive ngl
-Pamalamadingdong@reddit
We also had the plastic chair fact and P.E. teacher rumour… now I’m questioning if we went to the same primary school lol
JeffBroccoli@reddit
There was a lane that went along past the back of the school field called “Dead Man’s Alley”
Needless to say there were several nonsense theories as to how it got the name
GeggingIn@reddit
If you stored your stuff in the last row of lockers you fancied your Dad.
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