Are any other Brits here self conscious about the reputation of UK immigrants?
Posted by dm-me-highland-cows@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 175 comments
My fear is packing up and leaving Scotland behind only to become another undesirable. If I move somewhere I truly want to add something to the community whether that's through working, volunteering, contributions to the local economy, etc. But Brits have such a terrible reputation and I'm quite self conscious of this.
I've seen how British immigrants act in mainland Spain and the Canary Islands. Even countries as small as Gibraltar have struggled. I've seen their behaviour in South East Asia, and in Australia too. It feels like you could choose anywhere on a map at this point.
For example, a friend in the Philippines introduced me to an Englishman who has lived just outside Manila for 25 years. He has a Filipina wife, and together they have two sons and a daughter - all now adults. He's had his own business since he moved over. Yet he cannot speak a single word of Tagalog - this is not an exaggeration, he even laughed about it.
Then there are the Brits who have Orange Walks in Benidorm. If you are granted the ability to stay in a Catholic-majority country, what on earth are you doing hosting anti-Catholic marches? To clarify I am not speaking on religious favouritism and sects, but about respect. This is without getting into organised crime from Brits along the Costa del Sol and other messy matters.
Should this hold me back from moving abroad? No - I have zero intentions of being a jerk. I want to experience other cultures, build upon the languages I'm learning and meet new people. But this absolutely puts me off regardless. I wouldn't say I am sensitive, but I really am embarrassed.
TL;DR - For those of you who did end up moving abroad from the UK, how have you handled this reputation that follows us? Any guidance is much appreciated in advance!
Specialist-Will-1875@reddit
I’m an Asian here who work my ass off and be one of the most responsible people in the workplace. I do think the people surrounding you can see that as long as you pay the effort.
SeaYaNever@reddit
Don’t have to feel responsible for everyone else’s actions, just need to make a decision to actively stay away from such people. Most immigrants bear this burden, but don’t be bogged down by it.
stig316@reddit
I wouldn't worry about how other people from your country behave, just focus on yourself. All nations have good and bad immigrants / travellers.
Certain places also attract certain types so it would depend where you go as well.
Advanced-Parking173@reddit
Sounds like you have some self-confidence and insecurity issues based on your nationality. It sounds almost like a little self-loathing rather than awareness. “Brits have such a terrible reputation” - This isn’t really as big of a truth as the media leads us to believe when we’re growing up. In fact, other countries tend to have it way worse. For example, I’ve been living in China for the last few years and all the locals I’ve met and got to know have a really high value impression of England and English people.
You aren’t a bad tourist so don’t group yourself into a group of people who include bad people. You’re an individual. When a person from the Middle East comes to the UK you wouldn’t automatically assume negative things about them just because of their stereotypes and you wouldn’t expect them to have to try extra hard because their people have a bad reputation.
Treat everyone, including yourself, as individuals and then your psychological problem of worrying about all of this will entirely disappear.
CrumpetsGalore@reddit
“When a person from the Middle East comes to the UK you wouldn’t automatically assume negative things about them just because of their stereotypes”
Actually, loads of people do - including from the political class. To pretend otherwise is disingenuous
Advanced-Parking173@reddit
Why are you talking about “loads of people” when I said “you”?
To pretend someone was generally speaking, when they were really specifically directing a comment towards one person, in order to start an argument. That is disingenuous.
DawnoftheReal@reddit
If you arrive with a respectful attitude regarding local culture, instead of trying to impose your own, you'll be fine. And yes, learn the language! I think that's definitely what sets Brits (and Americans) apart from other expats, based on my experience (I've lived in 5 different countries and it's always the same case). They simply don't put in any effort (or the bare minimum) in learning the local language and just assume everyone will adapt to theirs. Very arrogant behavior that puts people off... But if you do not fall into this stereotype and show respect, you will be perfectly fine. Living abroad is such a great mind-opening experience if you do it well, I really recommend it!
MarcusFallon@reddit
Oh you will be absolutely fine being Scottish. It's the English they hate.
Commercial_Slip_3903@reddit
learn the language. probably the best way to actually show you give a damn
Inner_Map3518@reddit
do brits have a bad rep? i think thats in your head love. xD
MirabellaJean962@reddit
That's a very well known fact mate
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
Except it's not, not globally at least. Brits are very well admired globally, I've travelled extensively and had no issues because of an 'rep'. I just don't be a dick
MirabellaJean962@reddit
Very (☝🏻) well admired huh 🤣
Rasmatakka@reddit
Oh they have at least in Spain
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
*benidorm, Magaluf...
In Spain, Madrid, northern Spain, and other less touristy parts of Spain I've only found the Spanish to be very pleasant and receptive regardless of my nationality
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I have a sneaking suspicion that it isn't just in my head, but thanks regardless lmao
kholekardashian12@reddit
I also think it depends where you are. I had a harder time with people's attitudes towards me in Spain than I did in Cambodia. Also, I'm a woman so I avoided the creepy white man in SE Asia stereotypes, although being a woman came with its own set of negativity.
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
Can I ask where in Spain? I personally love the Spanish people and as soon as I attempt (no matter how bad) some Spanish they're always really receptive. I'm doing 9 months in Latin America right now and hope to improve my Spanish significantly.
I've personally found northern Spain to be the friendliest despite speaking the least English (they mainly hate the french there because of Napoleon so we have that in common!)
kholekardashian12@reddit
I lived in Seville and the people were friendly but many of them had preconceived ideas about Brits, especially British women (i.e. they thought we were all 'easy').
Initially me and my BF at the time had a hard time finding a flat because no one wanted to rent to a young British couple so our boss had to step in and help. When we moved out, the landlord completely fucked us over out of our deposit and claimed we trashed the place when we absolutely didn't. When we argued back, the landlord threatened legal action if we contacted him again. The second time we rented a flat, we lived in a small building with maybe 5 other apartments. We were the only Brits in the building. Someone kept leaving bits of food/bread on the stair case. I assumed it was our neighbours who had young children. Everyone else assumed it was us because a sign was put up on the front door in English asking everyone to keep the building clean. We were the only English speakers and both spoke Spanish so it was obviously directed to us. When we left that flat, I cleaned it in the August heat from top to bottom. It was the first time the landlady had ever rented it out after living there for like 10 years. Her husband came to check it, said everything looked fine, got our deposit back. A couple of weeks later, I got an irate text from the landlady saying how we messed up her new floor and that we were disgusting pigs??
There were just situations like where they thought because we were British, we'd be like the type of idiots you seen in Magaluf.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
This is true, being a woman undoubtedly helped me when I was in SEA in avoiding the gross "passport bro" trope. However, I also agree that there were different issues that came with being a woman depending on where I was
It's lovely to hear that you felt generally good in Central and Southern America though. I haven't yet had the chance to venture over but I'd really love to. This gives me hope, thank you!
alicolq@reddit
I'm a Scot in Brazil and I've never had any problems.
kholekardashian12@reddit
Glad to hear it! I will add that I have Mediterranean heritage so have olive skin and dark hair which I think helped me blend in somewhat. Other women I met who were white, blonde, and blue eyed did seem to get targeted more as tourists.
I would recommend Colombia! I was last there im 2019 so a while ago now but I had the best time. Such a beautiful country.
tim119@reddit
Don't be passive aggressive. Don't be a drunk.
Manage these 2 things, you be OK.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I do not drink and I'm as aggressive as a paper bag, sorted! :)
SeanBourne@reddit
Passive aggressiveness is not being “aggressive”… it’s that faux polite, expressing disgruntlement indirectly, but claiming everything is fine on the surface thing that Brits and Canadians especially (but broadly across the anglosphere) practice. It’s disliked within the English speaking world, but absolutely reviled outside of it.
Numerous_Car650@reddit
Chinese here who married a Mexican. Brits and Canadians have absolutely no monopoly (duopoly?) on passive aggressive behaviour.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I misread the initial comment and somehow skipped the "passive" part. That was my bad!
OldCementWalrus@reddit
Also, say what you mean instead of hiding it in layers of politeness. It's too exhausting for people, especially in multilingual countries, where people don't have time for this and won't understand you.
ChampagneDividends@reddit
That reputation exists. It’s essentially something you will have to live with until people get to know you (and you prove otherwise).
I’m Irish, and since moving abroad I mix with A LOT of English, Scottish and Welsh. To be fair, the English have the worst of it, and I find Scottish and Welsh tend to widen the divide and point out the difference. I get it too, especially from other nationalities who really don’t have the time to be learning the intricacies of England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland and wales - along with United Kingdom, British isles, etc.
You’ll learn, depending on where you move to, how to get the point across. I’ve learned to say (depending on who I’m speaking to) that it’s like confusing an Indian person and a pakastani, or an American and a Canadian. It’s a quick fix in most cases (although everyone gave me their condolences when the queen died 😅).
All that to say - people will judge, we all do. You just don’t have to fit the stereotype. Once you community realises how your different, they won’t stereotype you, they’ll consider you one of their own
xenobiotica_jon@reddit
Oh my brother in Christ, try being an American abroad these days. I have a son in university in the EU. I visit on the regular. Every coffee has to be paid for with an apology for the profound stupidity being perpetrated from these parts. But if you're heading out from your home with any consciousness you're already a breed apart, and an essential ingredient that brings us all back to the reasonable middle. Be good, be positive, lead by example. In Paris the neighbors know me as the guy who sweeps the sidewalk on Saturday mornings and fixed the door. Bring 'em something they'll miss if they get rid of you. :)
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
I would recommend never apologising for where you are from or anything immutable.
xenobiotica_jon@reddit
I never apologize for where I'm from, or who I am. Never said that. But I also recognize the negative impact of the political clown-car currently setting the direction at home, and work hard to make sure I set a good example of what an American citizen can be, especially as an expat. A good neighbor, a helping hand, a solid worker, and a compatible part of a broader culture.
DemonicHedgehogs@reddit
I remember a guy I went to college with in England had lived in Spain between the ages of 2-15. He couldn’t speak a word of Spanish and was surprised that the rest of us found that outrageous. He insisted it was perfectly normal to not know the language of the only place he could ever remember living in, because he was English so why would he need to know the local language when the locals could speak English anyway. He was also upset at a guy who had arrived in the UK as a refugee about a year before because he sometimes made grammar/pronunciation mistakes or didn’t understand a word. Don’t be like that guy. That guy made me understand exactly why we have such a bad reputation in Spain, I don’t really want him in my country either.
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
It's hard to blame someone aged 2-15... It's more likely their parents who are to blame
DemonicHedgehogs@reddit
You can blame them when they’re an adult and not getting their shit together and reconsidering their attitudes though. The parents may be to blame for implanting the ideas, but he was to blame for continuing to hold them.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Good grief, that is exactly the type of situation in my post that I want to avoid. I won't pretend to be fluent in Spanish because I'm not, but I studied very hard for 6 months in advance just for a week-long holiday. I couldn't imagine being unable to communicate with a single local person. You are absolutely right, the attitude of that person is where the trope comes from.
DemonicHedgehogs@reddit
I didn’t stay in touch with him (obvious reasons) but I can only hope he’s had a chance to grow up and sort his attitude out. Clearly that sort of attitude doesn’t develop in isolation, and if that’s how many of our people in Spain think then I’d say that the Spanish have been more than generous to us.
On the other hand most people in the world are reasonable and don’t automatically judge people based on the worst stereotypes of their compatriots.
dopaminecollector@reddit
I’m English and I lived in Asia for years. Brits have a good reputation abroad for the most part, even in Europe (outside places like Benidorm). There’s a lot of anti-British/anti-English sentiment online that’s just not a thing in real life.
That said, obviously the most important thing is to be polite, respect local rules/norms and engage with local culture sincerely. Everything will be fine from there.
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
I agree, I think some people need to get off Reddit and touch some grass from time to time
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your comment, it is appreciated - it's always good to hear things like this :)
Lepista_nuda89@reddit
I live in Norway and Brits are definitely well respected here.
Firm_Speed_44@reddit
Yes, we like the British very much, but I think it's about a different type of Brit than those who move to Spain. Alcohol is expensive, so we hardly get visited by those who are constantly drunk. Rather the type of Brit who likes to fish or who has started a family with a Norwegian.
CuriosTiger@reddit
I'm from Norway and can confirm.
Lepista_nuda89@reddit
Thanks for the confirmation hehe.
No-Cap-1801@reddit
Just don’t go to Mallorca, they’re sick of the Brits over there.
Ok_Raspberry5383@reddit
I consider myself well travelled, travelled extensively around Europe, south east Asia and currently on a 9 month trip in south America.
I've never found anything but admiration for Brits. The only times I've seen otherwise was a rowdy table in Málaga of very low class Geordies, I just joined in with the Spanish, Italians, Belgians and gave them evil stares.
I think we Brits have this typical self hating view that the world hates us. They don't.
You mentioned Australia which is a real wild card to me, Aussie bogans are some of the most hated tourists in places like Bali.
Globally, russian, Israeli and Indian tourists are often rated the worst, it just massively depends on where you go. If you go to benidorm you'll frequently find poor reviews of Brits, Dutch and Scandis. But then it's a resort set up to ply tourists with as much alcohol as possible.
Depends on the context.
Zer1nth@reddit
tbh - i found your post weird. Hating on someone because they cant speak the language considering how prevalent english is in the Philippines is just ....i dunno ...something feels off about your post.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Marrying someone whose native language is Tagalog and having children who are half-filipino and also natively Tagalog speaking should be motivation to know the language in my opinion. You are welcome to disagree but I don't think it's weird to expect someone to learn their spouses language at all.
notarobat@reddit
Not necessarily. It's super important for the guy to speak to the kids in only English if they want them to grow up bilingual. If his whole life revolves around family, and he just moved their for his wife, it's not really that big a deal
Zer1nth@reddit
i'm pretty sure they probably know some Tagalog. English is one of the official languages in the Philippines. Kids are taught in school, its prevalent in business..basically throughout the country about 95% speak it.
So i do think it is different to living in somewhere like Vietnam, Thailand etc Then i would expect expats to learn the native language for sure. Where have you lived abroad?
You never even mention which part of the Philippines his spouse is from because theres a whole host of native languages other than Tagalog....e.g. Cebuana, Ilocano, Bicolano etc there are many.....
I just find it a weird single thing to hate on somebody for.... as an example of scum expats abroad... until you know that person's life and have walked in their shoes so to speak i think you will do better to be less judgemental.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I am going by their own admission when they said they did not know any Tagalog at all, perhaps and exaggeration but this was their own admission.
It was indeed Tagalog that is his wife's and kid's native language, not Ilocano, Cebuano, etc. Her origins are just outside of Manila, and he had said it was her childhood home that he moved into.
Again, I know English is very much a language there, over 50m speak it I believe? I just couldn't imagine not minding that I don't understand my own toddlers. They didn't learn English fluently until they went to an international school, he had said.
Zer1nth@reddit
You had good advice on how to behave from some other people. Dont worry about what someone else is doing. When you live abroad you do need to be more mindful of local customs and respectful...which i'm sure he is. I'm sure his wife and kids love him.
I think you are overly worried about this when you dont need to be. Best of luck with living abroad.
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
I admit to not even attempting Mandarin Chinese, my wife's native language.
Swiss German is already more than enough :/
InsideOutCosmonaut@reddit
Don’t overthink it.
There are shitty expats from every nation.
Just don’t be a shitty expat. Make us proud.
notarobat@reddit
Probably don't call yourself an expat. Just learn how to not annoy the locals and be a respectful immigrant.
aranellee@reddit
Ugh, I totally get this, its rough feeling like you start with a bad stereotype before you even unpack a box. Good on you for wanting to contribute tho!
HungryGhost5000@reddit
I moved out of the UK 13 years ago, and have lived in 4 countries since then.
In that time, I have encountered only 5 British expats.
Avoid "Irish pubs" and other tacky venues, and it's very easy.
The world is a big place, and we tend to cluster together, making us easy to avoid by simply avoiding trashy venues, where we tend to flock to.
pearpool@reddit
What job do you do that allows you not to meet other British expats? In any industry that hires expats in Asia and the Gulf, there will be Brits.
HungryGhost5000@reddit
We're not all TEFL teachers and bar staff.
pearpool@reddit
OK lol big man. Just asking. It's one thing to go to one place and fully-integrate, quite another to go to three disparate regions and make a social life without other foreigners. That smells of short-term expat living and not compatible with making roots or real connections to those host countries, hence the question.
So you were hired by a university in Asia - do you speak that local language or was it an EMI university? If the latter, the of course there would be other Brits there. If the former, then well maybe that's true but it's odd. You wouldn't get an Italian coming to UK to work in a university if they didn't speak English, and the question is what good would they actually be doing to the university or students if they didn't?
So, let's assume you speak this Asian language, then you moved to the Gulf - do you speak Arabic? You were doing freelance technical writing - so what was your social life? You just dropped in and started hanging out with the locals?
In my experience, qualified expats go to countries that are hiring foreign experts and so they will be working with other expats. It's odd to just hop between random countries with no language or cultural knowledge. Unless of course you do speak all these languages well enough to create meaningful social lives in each of those countries, which if you do then good for you.
HungryGhost5000@reddit
Yes, I prefer to integrate, mostly. This is why I like living in other countries. I don't live in expat areas.
"do you speak that local language"
No. Everyone spoke English at the uni, and lectures were in English.
"If the latter, the of course there would be other Brits there"
There were no other Brits in my faculty.
"You wouldn't get an Italian coming to UK to work in a university if they didn't speak English"
All students spoke English. Courses were in English.
"So, let's assume you speak this Asian language"
I don't. I understand some day to day stuff, but most people speak English in the country.
"do you speak Arabic?"
No.
"so what was your social life? You just dropped in and started hanging out with the locals?"
In Asia, yes. I did my PhD in Singapore and had already made a lot of local friends in South East Asia from various groups on facebook and from my own uni. The biomedical guys were a lot of fun. Certainly more fun than the aerospace faculty.
When I left Singapore to work in the other country at the uni, I already had a decent social circle to hang out with when I arrived. And my teachers colleagues were fun too.
In the Gulf, I do not hang out with locals, except a couple of guys at my local bar. I mostly just go to the beach for cocktails with my GF, and i rescue cats. I also have a friend here from my alma mater in the UK. He is not British. We go for food.
"In my experience, qualified expats go to countries that are hiring foreign experts and so they will be working with other expats."
My experience is different than yours. But my next location will probably be like that, as I just got hired by an MNC in the EU.
"It's odd to just hop between random countries with no language or cultural knowledge."
There was nothing random about it. These countries all speak English, and English is the primary language in aerospace/aviation.
"Unless of course you do speak all these languages well enough to create meaningful social lives in each of those countries"
Lots of people speak English. My social life has been meaningful and fun in all countries, except the Gulf, but this is by choice. I find the social scene to be hollow, and I'd rather hang out with my GF and my cats.
HungryGhost5000@reddit
In Asia, for 4 years I was an engineering university professor at a state university, and also worked for a government space program connected to the university.
I was the foreigner in the government program, and the only European teacher in the faculty.
In the other years in Asia, when I wasn't in the uni/govt job, I was a freelance technical writer, so I worked from home and didn't have to deal with anyone.
In the Gulf, Brits are easy to avoid, because most of them work in sales, real estate, finance, or bar jobs, or are teaching in high school.
Very few work in engineering, unless they are management in oil & gas, and this isn't my field.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
This is really sound advice, I'm grateful that you shared it. Thank you so much!
Choice-Ad1477@reddit
Don't think too much about it. I am British and find if anything people like us by default.
The orange thing is a bit odd but honestly having learned the language of my country to C1 level, I've also learned that you don't owe the host country the language if they won't let you in anyway. I don't judge anyone who doesn't learn the language any more now I've learned it.
govnyuuk@reddit
Honestly, it sounds like you imagine there's a reputation to being British that there largely isn't.
Key_Goal_7589@reddit
Come to Hungary, we hate everyone equally including ourselves.
Telecom_VoIP_Fan@reddit
Sorry to hear of your negative experiences of Brit expats, but as one myself, I urge you not to generalize. People who exhbit anti-social behaviour in the UK, are not likely to be any better overseas. Those who behave as you describe probably fit into this category. My experience has been different - most other British expats i know are basically decent people who want to contribute to the countrie they have moved to and create a good impression.
NoIGnoTwitsNOtktk@reddit
The only Brits I’ve ever experienced as a$$h0se have been the tourists, not the emigrants. I’m sure you’re just find. Being conscious and self-aware is 2/3 of the battle.
winery_bound_expat@reddit
american here, planning the same kind of move (italy in my case) and reading this thread is making me feel a little less alone. every country has its loud expat archetype and it always sets the public reputation more than the median experience does.
the people i have watched do this well pick one specific place not just a country, learn the language even when they do not have to, and spend money with the same shop or coffee bar week after week until they become a regular instead of a tourist with a long lease. that pattern shows up in tuscany with brits and americans both. the costa del sol crowd basically just hasn't done any of those things.
honestly caring this much about it is probably the best signal that you won't end up being one of the bad ones.
Th3LastBastion@reddit
People who don't know you will always judge you on the surface according to their own biases. People who get to know you won't care where you're from, what you look or sound like, etc. if you're good people.
You have as much right to be anywhere else as anyone else on this planet.
anthrax455@reddit
I travel a lot and have lived abroad a few times in different countries, Europe and SEA. Brits do have a reputation, particularly the English though. Some people are rude or standoffish at first but that’s also true in the UK… I find as long as you’re polite and give people respect the initial standoffishness tends to melt away pretty quickly.
Can’t imagine being American living abroad right now though, I expect they have it worse.
simple_explorer1@reddit
Americans are 100% more nicer as people compared to English though. I think brits have it worse and English have dragged scits and Irish and Welish people with them
geekmissy@reddit
As an American living abroad in Portugal, it actually isn't too bad, at least here. We don't get asked as often, "Why would you leave America to live here?" Because it's now pretty clear why someone would leave.
We're polite, considerate, quiet, and speak in Portuguese as much as we can, and I think those things score us a ton of points.
anthrax455@reddit
Glad you’ve had a good experience - I expect as an American living abroad with humility and some worldliness about you it’s pretty easy to break down any subconscious barriers people might have.
I’ve always found the Portuguese to be an enormously welcoming and tolerant people. And the food is amazing. Hope you continue to enjoy it.
Top-Half7224@reddit
Not anymore. Unfortunetely anti immigrant sentiment and nationalism has skyrocked in the last few years. Ironincally people are friendlier when I "don't" speak Portuguese. Then they think I am just a tourist who will spend some money and leave. Many (incorrectly) believe Americans (in particular) are responsible for high rents.
DonnPT@reddit
It's a little hard to say for sure, because in addition to very often being genuinely nice, they're also very good at avoiding offense, and like people everywhere, they're a mixed bag of all kinds. As the world seems to be getting more difficult every year and people's margins get tighter, tolerance and welcome will get stretched thinner.
ambergresian@reddit
I'm an American in the UK. And from Texas.
People get it.
RoundAd4247@reddit
I’m curious: how long a time living abroad does it take Americans not to make every fucking discussion about yourselves?
This post was about Brits abroad, not about Americans. Yet here you are yammering about Texas. Why?
ambergresian@reddit
I was replying to the person who mentioned Americans. Otherwise I wouldn't have said anything.
Happy to clear that up for you.
ScorpioSpork@reddit
I get your frustration, but it seems pretty reasonable for Americans to respond to this comment:
Maybe it's different where you're from, but in my experience, humans relate to each other by hearing about others' lives and then sharing bits of their own. I doubt these folks were trying to take the spotlight or anything like that.
captaincrunk82@reddit
Gotta ask, where in Texas?
I’m from Galveston. Kiwis looooove singing Glen Campbell when I tell them that. Curious to know your thoughts on first reactions whenever you get asked about home.
deep-sea-balloon@reddit
Galveston! I used to live there many years ago.
ambergresian@reddit
Originally from suburban hell in DFW but went to uni in Austin and stayed there for 10 years. Also lived in San Francisco for a few years.
First reactions I generally quickly follow up with some form of making it clear I'm a leftist and not a Trump fan. Sometimes I don't and I've gotten Reform sympathisers opening up too much. I got a hug from an MP (they initiated!) when I was at an event with her and some good talks with her lol (idk how I get into these situations).
I go to standup a lot too and my Scottish fiancé looooooves sitting in the front so get called on a ton. Usually comments about abortion, guns, Trump. And also yeah I understand why you're not there.
🤷♀️ generally people are pleasantly surprised about a leftist Texan. I'm not alone though! lol..
besides politics, mostly comments on BBQ and Mexican food which is the main thing I miss. I have a handful of Texan friends here and we've exchanged jalapeño plants and smokers. Need to get some poblanos going and share that.
captaincrunk82@reddit
I went to UT Austin after six years in the Army. Majored in Chem E. Was there from 08-12. Bartended through it all.
I’m now a restaurant manager in NZ. Couldn’t be happier.
The trick is to find the people who grow the peppers and make friends haha
ambergresian@reddit
best trick 100%
NZ sounds like a lovely place. A big reason I moved to Scotland was how friendly people are, people acknowledge each other passing in cars, say good morning passing each other on walks in a park or such area, say thanks to the bus driver. People say UK hates small talk but idk if that's London, cause I've had very lovely chats with randoms here. My first neighbour when I moved here. People at train stations or on trains. My neighbours now all invited me into their homes and are lovely. It felt very home in that way, and so I could see myself making my home here. I've heard good things about NZ being friendly too.
captaincrunk82@reddit
Love it.
I always remark that when you’re an American, say 30% less and 30% quieter, but at the same time be 100% yourself. That’s the trick.
I think that once you read the room and know the flow of how people speak, it’s easy.
captaincrunk82@reddit
Being an American living abroad is easy if you’re willing to assimilate.
What helped me was drastic on paper but something I always wanted to do - quit my job as a remote cloud engineer and pick up the tools and become a builder.
All of a sudden, I understood working class life and who’d have thought…I made acquaintances and friends.
I’m still unabashedly American, but along the way I learned small things about myself and my people that didn’t pass the test in a new country that I now feel comfortable changing and it feels natural.
I should also add that this isn’t my first overseas move.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
It's funny you should mention that, Malay happens to be one of the languages I'm attempting to learn! It is crazy how much we take English being a lingua franca for granted. If I wanted to keep speaking just English I'd just stick around the UK. Hope you're enjoying KL!
anthrax455@reddit
Malay is an incredibly easy language to learn to a passable level - no tenses, no masculine/feminine nouns etc reduces the barrier to entry significantly. It can also get you by in Indonesia as Bahasa Indonesia is a very similar language. In KL, almost everyone has great English and even the Malay is “Manglish”, so English sentence structure with some Malay words thrown in here or there, which makes learning through immersion even easier. Formal written Malay is a completely different beast of course but thankfully I have my wife to handle that! Best of luck with your learning.
Honestly I would say that just the fact you are worried about people’s perceptions of you means you won’t have a problem - as long as you’re not marching around acting like you own the place you’ll be fine!
Own-Perception-4262@reddit
Well, i'm Spanish. And live near Benidorm. In all fairness a lot of Irish people also cause trouble. But Spanish people see them pale and speaking English, so automatically think, English. I know the Irish won't be too happy about being view as English. But that's what keeps yer reputation high.
Legitimate-Error-633@reddit
I don’t think Scottish have a bad reputation overseas. So make sure to emphasise that you are Scottish, not English.
Also no matter where you are from or where you are moving to - not attempting to learn the local language is generally seen as lazy and unwilling to integrate, just as you would judge someone not learning English whilst living in the UK. I say ‘attempting to learn’ because it is usually totally acceptable if you are not fluent.
Fanjo_mcclanjo@reddit
I have family who moved to Nz ans Oz and gave successfully avoided being wankers for 20 yeaes plus.
It can be done.
szayl@reddit
Just don't be that "expat". Expand your circle beyond other folks from the UK and be a good neighbor.
SeanBourne@reddit
People will interact with you as an individual, so just show up as your best self (it sounds like that’s your intent anyhow).
Separately, Brits (and if you’re Scottish you don’t even have any of the imperialist English stigma) basically have ‘Most Favored Nation” status when it comes to immigration in Australia (where I live) and next door in New Zealand. The most you’ll get is good natured ribbing out here.
Top-Half7224@reddit
Almost all foreigners are self conscious. Stereotypes abound and nationalism is on the rise (even in Scotland). All you can do is set a good example and not take it personally.
Ill-Drawer-5728@reddit
One of the benefits of the UAE is that nobody tries any of that nonsense.
Extra-Explorer-3956@reddit
They absolutely do
FinestTreesInDa7Seas@reddit
The first thing I think about an expat when I meet them is: "Here is someone with open enough mind to have left their country to better themselves. They must be an exception to any negative impression I would have of people from their country".
Wild_Asparagus_3846@reddit
Sorry mate. I think America continues to exceed the amazing reputation of Brits. I’d feel bad for you, but the only place Ive ever been in 60+ countries with a populace that was happy to have me was Australia. Even the Canuckanucks were obviously just tolerating me.
KittyBeans90@reddit
I moved from England to Australia. I’ve had people be quite bigoted towards me in the smaller towns like country WA and the NT. But a lot of them don’t mind us cause they’re basically all British down their lines to begin with. They’re much worse with people who aren’t white
No_Performance8733@reddit
I do not understand your concerns as an American. The stigma for Americans is real! But you’re a member of the commonwealth. Surely you have great options?
Like a dummy, I married a man from Egypt. I thought he would be open to moving abroad from the US. He is not that person.
I’ve lived in NZ. It’s fabulous. You also have Canada as a good option. Australia.
I mean, what is your actual concern? Once you get to one of the commonwealth countries, you can investigate non-commonwealth opportunities.
Just leave Scotland if you want to. Nothing is holding you back.
I WISH I HAD THIS TYPE OF OPTIONALITY!
That’s my best advice. Pick somewhere you automatically qualify and GO!
You’ll figure out the rest.
CuriosTiger@reddit
UK citizens are no longer free to just settle wherever they want in the Commonwealth. That hasn't been the case for decades.
rustytromboneXXx@reddit
Yes but the stereotype suggests they think they can. It’s a colony after all.
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
We don't have a bed reputation.
We are pretty much the highest earning group, and hence very non-reliant on state support.
We have a reputation of being a bit aloof and distant, but that's not the most important thing.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Admittedly it was more the crime and heavy drinking I was worried about, particularly in countries like Spain.
In saying that though your point is very much true. We are fortunate to have a lot of skilled people, if anything we have too many skilled Brits and not enough jobs to match up, particularly when it comes to graduates. There are two sides to everything
rustytromboneXXx@reddit
Yes, well, this is another stereotype trap you’re outlining.
I’m a long term non uk immigrant in Asia. To grossly stereotype (sorry, but just to illustrate), well educated “expat” Brits are insular, aloof, and yet still monolingual. You can spot them by their reluctance to eat local foods, their close mindedness to new experiences (they nest and don’t travel), and their moping/complaints about the new country’s culture, with a hint of old world hierarchical attitude.
Take the stereotype of Brits in Australia, a largely similar culture (if that statement got your hackles up then you’re in the category!). The British attitude of this is a colony I know better, leads to a certain myopia that ignores the objectively better sunshine.
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
People can differentiate between 18-30 type crowd on holiday and professional immigrants.
Tile02@reddit
English is an official language in the Philippines. Would you be annoyed with a Canadian who couldn’t speak French, or a Swiss national who didn’t speak Italian?
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
If the Canadians spouse was French and their children could only speak French then yes. This would also apply to the Swiss national if they too chose to not communicate with their children until they learnt English for them (which was the context of the man refusing to learn Tagalog. In hindsight this could have been communicated by me much better in the post, and I admit fault in this)
HW90@reddit
Honestly, people don't really care.
If you're outside of touristy areas, people will pick up on you being an expat rather than a tourist quite quickly. If you are living in a touristy area then making connections helps reduce any attention or negative feelings by a lot.
Outside of Europe, Australia, Canada, and NZ, Brits aren't exactly the most common tourists or migrants, so Brits aren't exactly a concern.
rustyfeatherstone93@reddit
I recently moved to Australia and my advise would be, try to shake the weight of your identity on your shoulders! It doesn’t serve you. Be yourself and a good human being- that is your identity.
Tiddleypotet@reddit
As a Yorkshireman living in Norway I don’t speak a single world of English outside the house, uncomfortable in the beginning but now I don’t even think about it. Don’t care what «perception» there is of brits abroad, be your own person and respect the local culture, and quietly judge those who have lived somewhere else longer than they have Britain and they can barely say hello…
CuriosTiger@reddit
Have you seen how the Brexiteers talked about immigrants? Did you ever once hear them moderate that with a positive anecdote?
Unfortunately, immigrants are easy scapegoats in almost every society. There will always be someone who does something shady, and for that, all immigrants get blamed.
The good news is that in many places, Scots are a small, exotic and relatively well-liked demographic. So if you can get people to know you personally, generalized anti-immigrant sentiment won't matter as much.
AdeptAtPoorDecisions@reddit
People loves Scots around the world. Just the fact you think this way tells you you will be fine. Just try to make the best of it and try ro learn the language. A bit of effort goes a long way.
paxwax2018@reddit
Oh my god, nobody cares.
Desperate_Image_9505@reddit
Uk emigrants are amazing. They aren’t the ones who stay home an be an idiot (not that all people do that, you know what I mean haha )
RoundAd4247@reddit
Learn the language of the country of your residence, and you’re kilometres ahead of your compatriots and other anglophones. And don’t talk about “honestly wanting to integrate “ if you’re unwilling or unable to pick up the language.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Completely agree - languages can be hard, but they are crucial to integration, especially if you ever plan to lay foundations somewhere! As you rightly said, if you are unwilling to learn the language then byproxy you're not willing to integrate.
Exotic-Philosopher-6@reddit
I've lived in Australia for 15 years and the biggest stereotypes the Aussies have for the English, is that they whinge too much.
AcousticMayo@reddit
Explain you're Scottish. They like the Scottish much more than the English. Also don't be self conscious if you know you're not a twat and won't cause trouble. Be the change you want to see
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
I mean why? That's only going to be because of a lack of exposure.
The stuff Brits get a bad name for (drunkenness, antisocial behaviour etc) is worse in Scotland than England.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I agree with you in that our behaviour is UK-wide. Northern English and Lowland Scots have more in common than most folk realise. Even on a wider scale to include the tip-top of the UK to the far south; Scottish ruffians and English ruffians are the same as long as they keep their mouth shut.
AcousticMayo@reddit
Lol compare the top of Scotland to the bottom of England. Nowhere I've seen in Scotland needs metal detectors outside their clubs. Definitely not the same
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Not the same, no. I'm from a Scottish island myself and can confirm that we don't even have clubs much less metal detectors. The substance abuse is absolutely rife though, I've lost a fair good friends over the years due to it sadly.
AcousticMayo@reddit
Yeah for sure, it's so difficult to have a social life outside of it I've found. All my current friends I only really see when we're drinking
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I've been almost entirely sober with the exception of a New Years/Xmas toast for about 3 years. Can confirm that very few people will meet up for a simple lunch or coffee. Even a trip to the cinema calls for a gin for some folk, ciders at bowling, cans on the beach etc. It's quite isolating
AcousticMayo@reddit
One of the main reasons I'm in this sub to relocate to where people don't have to destroy themselves to socialise 😂
I've had a poker set for so long but all my friends want to do is drink
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I hear you. One of the most fun countries I ever went to was Singapore - so many locals in comment sections online warned that it was boring, but I was gutted that I didn't have longer to do everything I wanted.
There are just so many public parks and gardens, there is even a night safari so if you work a 9-6 you can still head to the zoo with your family. Shopping centres and hawker places were open til 10pm, and there were 24 hour food spots that wasn't just fast food. Even the Gardens by the Bay has a free light show at night that occurs every night.
In other words, it was amazing to me that this (geographically) small country could essentially offer you a night out that's completely alcohol free. Scotland has 100x the landmass, yet drop me off in Glasgow and I'd struggle to achieve such a thing that I could do on a regular week day in Singapore. Really opened my eyes to how much we rely on booze for fun.
AcousticMayo@reddit
It's worse in Scotland but they don't bring it abroad anywhere as much as the English do
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Take my kilt with me everywhere I go, got it!
Rasmatakka@reddit
I saw someone yesterday with a kilt here in Las Palmas lol
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Good grief! Well I hope they had the decency to wear undies at least
deep-sea-balloon@reddit
Not British, but I think that it's important to remember that if you're minding your business and people are mistreating you because of your nationality, they're the problem.
I'm American and have lived abroad for close to ten years and have had my share of ignorant comments and actions (some of that has likely been racism and sexism, not just anti-Americanism/xenophobia). All this despite minding my business, being cordial, working, parenting, paying my taxes, etc. You can't avoid all ignorance, unfortunately.
Putting it in perspective, it hasn't been most people. And when it happens, I mostly ignore them or stare at them until they calm down.
You mentioned being respectful - I'm sure you'll be fine in most instances.
Captlard@reddit
I never even thought about it tbh.
Pan_Duh_Pan_Duh@reddit
I feel for you. I think America and UK immigrants kind of share some negative sterotypes - except being always loud, that‘s more of us American things lol. But if you are from Scotland, I’m not under the impression there are a lot of negative thoughts towards Scotsmen - unless you are an Englishman living in Scotland? I think most negative sentiments are towards Englishmen.
That being said, I think outside of some Xenophobes - that exist in every country, as others have said, you’ll probably be fine, especially if you aren’t only hanging out with tourist people in tourist areas where it’s much more apparent and it’s easier to accidentally slip into a behavior that locals might not enjoy. Or not partaking in s*x tourism, and being super cringe or falling for dating scams.
You’ll probably be fine. Most people don’t go picking fights with expats/immigrants in most countries. Unless you are brown and in the US.
(I lived in Japan and generally had very good experiences with locals :) )
Agitated-Ad5206@reddit
Are you Scottish? I live in Amsterdam and the prejudice you describe is furthered by English staf and hen do’s. People view the Scots differently
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
You are correct! I am indeed Scottish, and very culturally Scottish-Irish so there was the concern that people would presume I am a heavy drinker, scruffy and uneducated 😅
Professional_Elk_489@reddit
Nope
boguz@reddit
People mostly give everyone a chance regardless of where you're from.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
This is a healthy perspective to have. Mean people can exist anywhere, but it is by this rule that kind people can exist anywhere too :)
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
I think you're leaning into sterotypes too much.
I mean, Denmark ran a bunch of data about immigrants to their country, and Brits were actually at the top in terms of net contributions.
I wouldn't worry about it – you're culturally far ahead of many other nationalities.
HungryGhost5000@reddit
Nobody gives a fuck about "net contributions", or indeed "Denmark".
This is not the reputation being discussed.
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
I'm illustrating how Brits have a good reputation abroad. All he's doing is looking at some example of football hooligans from the 90s, and some drunk loutish twatish lads on a staf weekend, and applying to all brits.
It's lazy and a dumb sterotype that is isn't true for the vast majority of British people.
dopaminecollector@reddit
The worst thing about it is the call is coming from inside the house. Nobody hates Brits more than we hate ourselves. It’s ridiculous how we talk about ourselves online and in the media. No other country does it to remotely the same degree
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
I mean, he did just call me a freak and said for me to leave my own country so he is leaning into the trope a bit in my defence
dopaminecollector@reddit
Sorry, I think I missed that? Who called you a freak? I thought I was replying to negative British stereotypes that are weirdly for UK audiences
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
The person you were replying to initially, Mr Gullible Passion, though he seems to have deleted his comment since so perhaps a change of heart? I just found it amusing that he momentarily leaned into the exact stereotypes he insisted were untrue
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
It is possible I am leaning into clichés too much, I shan't argue that because you may very well be right. In saying that, it would be nice if Brits generated nicer stereotypes. Think less heavy drinking and racism, and more sturdy work ethic or something pahaha
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
>Think less heavy drinking and racism and more sturdy work ethic or something
Speak for yourself.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
What? Pahahah!
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
You're just making up negative stereotypes that don't apply at all, so you can get on your high horse. Go away.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Sure! I can go away :) that is actually why I am in this community. So, where would you like me to go?
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
Some place or thread that is tolerant of people making up negative stereotypes about nationalities.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Lead the way buddy! Feel free to dm me an appropriate subreddit ☺️
Gullible_Passion_331@reddit
I guess you really are interested! Wow. Freak.
elijha@reddit
To be fair, living in the Philippines without speaking Tagalog is (at least in some circles) not really much crazier than living in Ireland without speaking Irish
Snowedin-69@reddit
Gaelic
elijha@reddit
lol I can’t tell if you’re (“)correcting(”) me because you know “Tagalog” is more correctly called Filipino in this context or because you actually think Irish is still most correctly called Garlic
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Exactly! That is why I advocate for that too, and in fact am a Gàidhlig speaker myself :)
Master_Ad6104@reddit
I live in Korea and I think you can avoid the reputation in east Asia if you learn the local language and work in a reputable field. Don’t be just another typical Brit teaching English. Theres a few of us working in professional services and tech and we do in fact speak Korean, and we can feel that we are more respected than “just another loser back home teaching English in Korea”
Zealousideal_Rub6758@reddit
Wth is wrong with teaching English in Korea lol
Master_Ad6104@reddit
The reputation is that they have no skills and can’t speak the language so they could only land jobs as teachers.
Zealousideal_Rub6758@reddit
You need a degree and you’re working with and for locals contributing to the economy. Hardly the same as boomers flooding Benidorm or backpackers being rowdy Australia.
Master_Ad6104@reddit
That’s true.
I just know it’s a reputation because I did hear from someone that they’ll hire anyone with a degree, regardless of their educational background, or experience.
Unhappy_Performer538@reddit
It’s really sad that teachers are seen as having no skills. Teaching is a skill :(
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Agreed - I cannot emphasise enough how much local language learning is important. This is where my bone to pick with selfish UK immigrants comes in. So many will complain about immigrants "not speaking English" in the UK, when a huge portion of Brits only speak English themselves before moving elsewhere. Hypocritical beyond belief.
phillyphilly19@reddit
This should definitely not hold you back. I'm an american, God help me, and I see how awful Americans can be in central America and abroad, so I make extra effort not to be awful. I go to Italy a lot and I speak enough Italian to get by and always receive smiles and compliments for trying. I smile all the time and I'm never demanding. Think of yourself as an ambassador for good behavior, and people will love you. I've even been told by people that it was such a relief to meet me and find out I was American because of some bad experiences. Also I have a Scottish friend here in the states and while he has a big personality, he's quite lovable. Cheers!
Gods_ShadowMTG@reddit
People love the scottish - at least us germans don't see you as british but as scottish.
Defiant-Dare1223@reddit
Id love for you to compare to the borders (where I'm from) and actually see the difference.
The biggest cultural difference is somewhere within the English Midlands not between northern England and Scotland.
I'm a Northumbrian, and I'm more similar to a Glaswegian than a southern English person. Not that either is better or worse.
faltdubh@reddit
Just keep mentioning you are Scottish, honestly, I've seen people go from lukewarm at best to eyes opening up with an almost "why didn't you say so!" reaction. TBH, a lot of people watch English football, so even if one person isn't too warm to you, someone will ask you or want to talk about the football. Of course, no use if you don't like football or follow the sport.
Learning the language can be a double-edged sword. If you move (maybe anywhere these days, with the dominance of English speaking entertainment and podcasts) to Scandinavia, Benelux etc, you'll have to keep telling people that you want to learn their language, and many are so good at speaking English, it's easier - at first - to speak English, but learn the language. You don't want to end up being in a country for 10 years and knowing 10 words, you'll miss what is going on, and people no matter if it is Iceland or Iraq, want to speak their native tongue in their own country. Honestly, it'll open up doors and gain respect - some people who might be shy or don't speak much English, will be able to converse with you too.
You are no doubt going to meet arseholes anywhere you go, and receiver the odd nasty comment like you do if you stayed in Scotland, but try to adapt somewhat to the culture you are moving to. If its a Scandinavian country, don't be too loud or gobby. Learn the customs too, and unfortunately a lot of the nuance is learned through living.
And for people who hate the British etc, the other half seem to love or like them. And you might even get told you are the type of immigrant the country wants (white, western European privilege to an extent).
Don't behave like a tit and try read the room really. Give it a go, and good luck!
MirabellaJean962@reddit
You need to be nice, show up, be friendly and just livr your life... I know what you mean because I am from Romania (not even Romanian mind you, but another ethnicity) and I'm pretty sure many people have high key judged me for it, but that is their problem and not really mine. As the wise woman in princess diaries (lol) once said: Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent.
dm-me-highland-cows@reddit (OP)
Honestly, I think I needed to hear that quote again. That is probably the first time I've heard it in a good ten years. Thank you kindly!
MirabellaJean962@reddit
A quote to live by, really. Best of luck!
NarcisSisyphusRankin@reddit
Honestly, everybody loves the Scots the Irish and though they don't really know who the Welsh are, but it's the English that they really have issues with
Unhappy_Performer538@reddit
Plenty of countries have terrible reputations abroad. I’m from the US so, lol. You shouldn’t limit yourself bc of this. All you can do is be a great ambassador of your country and add rather than take. There will always be people who judge you as if you are your country and those that see you as an individual and you can’t really change that. You can only control yourself.