What exactly does the Best Man do at a wedding?

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Whosentyounow@reddit

Focus on the speech. Been a best man twice, your be judged on the speech, try smashing it out the park 😎😎

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Whosentyounow@reddit

Plus it doesn’t have to be all jokes. Some of the best speeches I’ve heard were from the heart and contained sporadic humour here and there.

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

I went for about 50-50. I think that was a good ratio.

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Exactly. Nothing annoys me more than men who suddenly decide they're going to have a crack at stand up comedy on their best mate's wedding day. There's literally loads of open mic nights you could have signed up for, but you didn't because you're not funny, you're not a comedian, so keep it light and remember someone's nan is probably there.

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DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

That's a relief, the groom I'm best man for is sensible to a fault and all the funny stories I have about him are mostly times I got him in trouble!

God help me if I ever get married

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Brokella@reddit

And PRACTICE the speech many times to friends or family. You can still read it from a piece of paper but just make sure you’re familiar with it. If you do that, you’ll be fine, even if you’re a bit nervous (normal!) xx I love that you’re taking the role so seriously, he’s a lucky groom!

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

I actually had the longest speech. And it only lasted 6 minutes.

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oscarx-ray@reddit

Nobody ever left a wedding and said "that was nice, but I wish the speeches were longer!"

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Scared_Following_347@reddit

Read the speech from cue cards rather than your phone or 1 piece of paper. This makes it sound more natural, gives natural breaks between sentences and those breaks remind you to look around the room etc. not just at the paper.

People only remember really bad or really good speeches so as long as it’s not really bad you’ll be fine.

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

I actually have my speech printed on 3 pieces of paper right now. Will that look bad if I read from those? I'm not a good public speaker and I'm afraid that if I condense it to cue-cards then I'll go blank and forget what I'm supposed to say no matter how much I practice.

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Electronic-Stay-2369@reddit

I've been a best man once, I think I had cards, but what I also had was a slide show (some embarrasing child hood pics borrowed off his mum then some from our adventures together). Intro, quick one-liner with each pic helped with remembering what to say, toast, and a mic-drop ending.

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Scared_Following_347@reddit

No it’ll be fine but I found cards to be better. I’m the same and have to do 2 speeches at weddings. It was the whole speech on the cards and just flick through to the next one or even drop it when you’ve finished with the card. Helped me pace and speak like a human rather than a computer reading out sentences without any emotion.

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Bob-Lowblow@reddit

Also looks better on the pictures. I did my groom speech from my phone and it looks like I’m texting mid speech.

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tmr89@reddit

Yup, this. No pressure, OP!

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Nervous_Tourist_8699@reddit

I think you may be stressing on the small things. I have been best man three times. As long as the rings are there, it will work out. You go in with the groom and stand to his right

Concentrate on your speech.

Also you are a lightening rod for everything especially for the MILs complaining.

If you have ushers as well, tell them to take umbrellas in case it rains, if not ask someone to do it. They can also show people where to sit at the ceremony.

Make sure the band/DJ are confirmed and get paid.

It is hard work to be honest, but at least you get to shag a bridesmaid of choice.

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antlered-god@reddit

If he's the BEST man, why isn't the bride marrying him???

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Baby8227@reddit

Your main jobs are to make sure that he is dressed, wearing the right clothes and buttonhole, that he gets to the church/venue at the right time. Also maybe that you keep the ushers and page boys in order.

As the bride comes down the aisle and the groom is facing forward you should be on his right. You keep the rings in your pocket and pass them to the officiant/reverend etc.

Then, it’s the speech. The best ones I’ve heard have been heartfelt, light hearted and relatively simple. You can relay what you know about their story, how you have seen what they have added to each others lives. Oh, and don’t forget to genuinely compliment the ladies (other than the bride).

Oh and lastly, unless you’re married, you get to snog a bridesmaid. Preferably a single one!

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Do_not_use_after@reddit

You should get a run-through of the service with the vicar before the wedding, so that will sort the actual service. Another answer nailed it about the role - you're the 'fixer', that makes the day run smoothly. If the groom is drunk, you provide the coffee. If the bridesmaids' car breaks down, you organise guests to fetch them. Also, you are supposed to give the speech that gets the guests to loosen up. AI will fix that, but you provide the anecdotes.

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Upbeat_Map_348@reddit

You’re mainly there to support the groom. That’s normally standing next to him while he’s waiting for the bride to arrive, holding the rings.

It’s then all about your speech which is normally the headline act of the speeches bit. Be a bit funny, be a bit cheeky, take the piss and say something very nice about the bride.

Other than that, you’re supposed to shag one of the bridesmaids.

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RevellRider@reddit

The bridesmaid at my brothers wedding was the very heavily pregnant married sister of the bride. And her husband is one hard bastard.

Female friends of the bride though...

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Apsalar28@reddit

Note. Shagging the bridesmaids rule is suspended if they're all under the age of 16.

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KoorbB@reddit

It will depend on the wedding but typically (I’ve been fortunate to be BM twice) it involves first and foremost, being there for the groom. Be his aide, his friend. Think for him when he’s got his head on everything else that’s going on.

As for the practicalities like holding the rings, where to stand etc, the registrar will tell you (and if they don’t, ask). You will stand with him whilst waiting for the bride then take a seat when the ceremony starts. You’ll have a seat front row for this, as you’ll be one of the last to sit down.

Obviously there’s the speech, you will know when it’s your turn, you’d normally go after the brides father.

The rest of the day for me at least, is about welcoming guests, guiding them on the practicalities of the day, where to go, timings etc etc.

Relax and enjoy it and be as organised as you can be, as it will take the pressure off. Best of luck.

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Own-Pen3465@reddit

Don’t forget to have sex with one or more of the Bridesmaids,that’s probably the most important job on the day

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eggs_and_ham_i_am@reddit

I was beat man for my best friends wedding, my wife was a bridesmaid.

We didn't know all the relatives. My speech I said something along the lines of 'im hoping to cop of with the bridesmaid and hopefully she'll be leaving with me'

Those that knew she was my wife laughed.

Anyway, a couple hours later we're all on the dance floor getting progressively more drunk, and the brides grandad comes up to me and says 'i think you going to get your wish, she can't get enough of you, you little devil'

We didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

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Hampshire-UK@reddit

Beat me to that comment

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Logbotherer99@reddit

Best bet is to get it out of the way at the ceremony, then you can relax.

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Zealousideal_Pop3121@reddit

I’d say the main thing you need to do is support the groom. Keep him calm, make sure he gets there on time etc. you’ll be standing next to the groom during the ceremony. May sit down may not. Depends. If you have the rings, you step forward and hand them to the registrar to put on their book/bible/whatever then go back to where you were sitting or standing. You make a speech that’s funny but not ribald. You may thank the brides maids in the speech. Mine did even though I told my husband to tell him I was going to do that in my speech.

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freebiscuit2002@reddit

Your job is to be the best man. So best that the bride questions whether she's marrying the right fella. So best that bridesmaids and guests want to get off with you. So best that even the straight male guests are checking you out.

Be best.

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srm79@reddit

Read the Debrett's website about weddings. It'll give you good advice with what to do and when and how to structure your speech and keep the toasts on track. It's pretty good

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Infections95@reddit

Don't do what happened to me when the groom always said he didn't want a best man's speech then on the day the whole ceremony is screaming speech speech speech and you've 5 mins to come up with something...

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AdaandFred@reddit

My FiL gave my husband a few minutes notice to come up with a speech for his wedding. We wrote notes on a paper plate that my husband took up with him. The whole wedding (and relationship) was a bit weird anyway so it all added to madness.

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Careless_Squirrel728@reddit

Yeah you really need to have something in your back pocket in these situations, there was no way you were going to get away with that one!

My dad had a back up speech for my uncle’s wedding - they are very chill people and he hadn’t thought about speeches at all until the night before when he turned to my dad and said “oh by the way would you mind doing a speech tomorrow”.

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Whosentyounow@reddit

Oh fuck 😂

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DameKumquat@reddit

Do whatever needs doing.

Support the groom (traditionally, making sure he turns up and is vaguely sober after the stag night, but easier now that's separate).

Speech. Even if the groom says he doesn't want one, you'll be asked, so be prepared to just stand up, thank everyone for coming, thank the bridesmaids, caterers and venue staff,.parents.of the bride and groom, and then toast the bride and groom.

My best man, I gave £200 to to resolve any problems like elderly family not being confident about getting from the main reception to the after-party and needing to be put in cabs. And he did a speech as above after my dad and the grooms best man bottled it.

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aries_163@reddit

ask the groom AND the bride if there’s anything they need help with on the day or in the days prior (if you are willing to help that is). In my experience, also ask the bride - she’s likely to be the one with the plan in her head vs the groom.

And just ask them what is expected on the day. For example at my wedding I asked the grooms men to direct and shepherd our guests to the mini buses they needed to get on. And then during the photos I asked them to keep close to the photographer so they could go find people needed for next photos. The bride and groom do not need to be the ones running round doing that kinda thing on the day. Just ask if there’s any little behind the scenes tasks you can do to help things go smoothly and stress free for the couple.

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Asuperniceguy2@reddit

Stand around drinking and looking good. Shag the maid of honour? Do a good speech.

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DifficultCustard6110@reddit

Fuck a bridesmaid

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clarbs4@reddit

You’ll likely be in the room already with the groom and any other groomsmen/ushers.

Help show guests to seats / direct which side they’re sitting on (check with groom today), make sure front row seats are reserved for closest family (or whoever the bride and groom have selected).

Keep hold of the rings, the registrar will likely check with you before the ceremony you have them and you can ask them how it works. I don’t remember my husband’s best man staying stood up, he just got up and passed over the rings and sat down again.

Be helpful throughout the day - help round up people for photos if there’s a photographer doing posed shots, help get people to transportation if changing venues and transport is provided, help bridesmaids out with confetti distribution and directing people to stand on either side if this is something they’re planning to do.

Speech - don’t be too long, don’t be mean, make a few jokes if comfortable, share some nice stories about the groom, include how wonderful of a couple they are.

Relax once speech is done!

Hopefully it’s not just you, and bridesmaids can also help with things post ceremony. Ask the groom specifically if him or the bride have anything they want you to do (again ask today!!) as they might have assigned jobs to others in the wedding party. I made sure to tell my husband what I wanted them to do for prep, so they might already have discussed this!

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Spock_42@reddit

I was the best man for my best man, so some thoughts from both sides;

Before hand, being a sounding board for plans or details can be helpful.
Be punctual (preferably early) to help with any last bits of set up.
Know roughly who the guests are, and be around to welcome them and direct them as they arrive.
There's the speech, so know when those are due to happen. I know the cliché is to roast the groom, but going too far just gets uncomfortable. It should be fun, and keep any teasing light hearted. Alluding to semi-inside jokes can make for a fun conversation starter later imo.
Be reliable. You're there to have fun, sure, but your primary goal should be to help the groom have fun. Just taking care of little bits (getting a drink for an uncle, making sure gifts and cards go where they need to, making sure granny gets some cake etc.) adds up and puts the grooms mind at ease.

Basically all the stuff a good friend should do anyway, just a bit more so for the day.

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amemorableusername@reddit

3x best man here!

You’ll sit near the front, likely front row so you can easily stand and give the best man the ring. The celebrant will say something like “now, the best man will present the ring”, so it’ll be obvious when.
You won’t get in the way - you’ll only be up there for 30s. The celebrant will tell you exactly what to do beforehand.
You’ll give the ring to the groom. You should either remove it from the box, or present the box in such a way the ring can easily be taken. Either works, but don’t just hand him a box.
The witness can be somebody else or the best man. Just ask your groom who they’ve chosen.
You’ll be present as the guests arrive.

Your primary duty (apart from the speech) is to be “shit umbrella” for your groom - they do not want to be dealing with seating mishaps, suppliers failing to turn up or minutia. The wedding organiser / venue staff will take on a lot of this, but you (and the maid of honour) should consider it your job to protect the happy couple from mishaps

(for example, I dealt with a dispute between wedding staff and guests having alcohol confiscated - not something you want the groom to be dealing with on his wedding day).

You should also consider yourself the leader of the groomsmen, so allocate jobs based on their personalities. For example: putting up signs, putting out table names, moving furniture, manning the car park, ushering people to their seats.

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Apsalar28@reddit

Unofficial best man duties included coordinating with the senior bridesmaid to:

Keep the bride's racist uncle on the opposite side of the room from the grooms human rights activist sister.

Making sure the 14 year olds don't sneak too many unattended glasses of champagne away.

Making sure any elderly or disabled guests are looked after.

And in the event this fails making sure the couple don't find out about this until after the honeymoon.

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sprucay@reddit

There's sometimes a practice before hand. Even if not, the celebrant or priest or whatever will guide you. Don't sweat it. Two main things: remember the rings, and prepare a speech. Other than that, do things on the day so that the groom doesn't have to.

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cavendishasriel@reddit

Make it your mission to make sure the day goes smoothly for the couple. Be an unofficial master of ceremonies, support the bridesmaids with little things, ensure the parents of the couple are catered for etc etc.

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FollowingSalty@reddit

100% this! During the group photos I was barefoot because my heels were sinking into the grass, and my husband’s best man was constantly bringing me canapés and drinks and making sure I was good amongst the chaos! His speech was great but that will be the thing I remember most

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KiltedBaklava@reddit

This is important. When I was best man I did tons of little jobs throughout the day, just so the couple didn’t have to worry about it. Like sorting them drinks after the hotel forgot to offer them one while preparing for the photos. Or tidying up the honeymoon suite, as the bride & bridesmaids had used it to get ready before the ceremony.

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Dharl61@reddit

This is the best response! My best mate was my best man and I returned the favour a couple of years later. It is a great honour.

If wedding is in a church then there will be a rehearsal a few days before with the vicar who knows exactly what you should be doing. But I short make sure you get the groom to the venue, look after the rings until asked for. You will stand at the front with the groom until the bride arrives , stand to the side until the rings are asked then you will go back to your seat.

Importantly if the reception is in a different venue then make sure you give out directions to the reception to the guest ( print these out on slips of paper in advance). You might be asked to help organise the wedding photos, which normally involves shouting out “photo! Friends of the Bride” etc or what ever group the photographer is taking.

Dont worry about the speech! Dont try and be funny, people will laugh at the smallest jokes! Tell a story about how you met the groom, perhaps a couple of stories from school or shared holidays ( riskie but not rude) and importantly say how much of honour it is to help your best mate on his important day as he marries the love of his life!

But remember to enjoy it, you are there to support and celebrate you best mate with friends and family.

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ProfPMJ-123@reddit

You’ll be told everything you need to do. During the ceremony you’re usually supposed to stand next to the groom until you’ve handed the ring over, then you’ll sit down. You’ll have been told where to stand.

You hand the ring over not in a box. Keep it in a box in your pocket if you like. Just don’t struggle to find it when asked for it.

Best man often is a witness, but doesn’t have to be. If you are you’ll be shown where to sign.

You will be in the room where the ceremony is when the groom goes there. You follow him around to help/support him.

You will be expected to do a best man’s speech. If you aren’t a naturally funny person, focus on being sincere rather than trying to be funny. It’s much better to hear a nice story about when they two of you did something fun on holiday together than hearing a “hilarious” anecdote about when he got his cock trapped in his fly. Talk about how good of a friend he is, and how good of a person he is.

Whatever anecdotes you decide to tell, remember that what is appropriate to talk about amongst your mates isn’t in front of grandparents and a lot of people who are, to you, essentially strangers.

By tradition, at the end of your speech you toast the bride and groom. After saying something nice about both of them, say something like, “and now I have the great task of asking you all to raise your glasses and drink to the bride and groom”.

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bhuree3@reddit

Am I supposed to stand somewhere during it or do I take a seat?

You'll be standing near the groom at the start but the officiant will tell everyone when to sit, just follow what they guide you to do.

I read online that the Best Man typically holds the rings and then presents them when asked, when doing this
Where exactly do I stand? (Wouldn't I get in the way of the attendees if I stand opposite the registrar?) You'll just stand up and hand them over then sit back down, you won't be in the way.
Who do I present them to? Usually the registrar/officiant
Do I present them in a box or remove them from the box ahead of time? Depends how they're given to you. Usually hand over the box if they're in a box. Some couples will have other plans for the rings, like on a pillow or having a child bring them etc. Just ask the groom today so you have a heads up if it's your job.
Am I supposed to be the legal witness? (I have read online that the Best Man typically is the witness, but somebody told me that in weddings they've been to that somebody else is typically nominated to give other people a part in the wedding). The witness is just who is signing the paper. They'll tell you if you are to go and sign it, you'll be guided don't worry.
Am I already present in the room as guests arrive or am I supposed to enter during the ceremony in some way? You'll likely come in with the groom after most guests have arrived but before the bride and bridesmaids. You're there to keep him calm and feel supported

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Fioreborn@reddit

You stand up near the front near the groom. You had the rings to groom/bride. You give a speech.

Originally you were there to marry the bride if the groom didn't show up.

Bridesmaids were basically decoys to protect the bride from evil spirits

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Khaleesix87@reddit

There is usually a rehearsal either the day before or a few days before. However I’m sure there is no harm in asking the couple where they want you and what they want you to do.

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NewsFromBoilingWell@reddit

You are the groom's mate. You stand next to him and pass him the rings when asked. The registrar will help organise everything so you shouldn't need to worry too much.

From there on in - help the groom with organising photos/drinks/seating - whatever they need.

Finally you generally sit on the top table and get to hive a speech. This is usually framed as introducing the groom to the brides family. Be cheeky, slightly risqué perhaps, but complement the bride!

After that - have fun. Optional bridesmaid fun.

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Cheshirefarm@reddit

Finger blast the bride after the groom is banging one of the bridesmaids

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ZoltanGertrude@reddit

You've got to shag the chief bridesmaid or the brides mother...

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Careless_Squirrel728@reddit

You will wait at the altar or end of aisle with the groom, stand up with your hands behind your back.

When asked for the rings you just get up and give them to the person performing the ceremony.

You won’t be a witness unless you have been asked to be this as well.

Focus on making a good speech - if you’re not naturally funny, just say something nice.

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

If I am waiting at the end of the aisle, where am I getting up from when asked for the rings? Am I standing initially before I go to seated and then getting up again to present rings?

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Careless_Squirrel728@reddit

You will stand up with the groom. The bride will arrive and greet the groom. The registrar or minister will tell everyone to be seated. You will sit down in the front row and get up with the rings when asked for them.

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Scottish_squirrel@reddit

Best man is primarily in charge of the groom. Be with him all day. Make sure he's dressed and everywhere on time. Traditionally he's meant to get the groom to the church then accompany the bridesmaids to the church. Obviously might not be applicable. Stand at the alter with the groom throughout the service and have a clean-ish and funny speech prepared. Generally you're the Mr Nice Guy for the day. Take cards and gifts and put them away safe. Basically step up and allow the bride and groom to have few worries. You can be a witness but it's not a hard rule. Our best man wasn't our witness.

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binaryhextechdude@reddit

Ask the groom about the rehearsal ceremony, it's usually a few days prior to the wedding itself. This is where you will be shown exactly what everyone wants from you. Meanwhile work on writing that speach

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MysteriousFan7983@reddit

Feel like you’ve got a lot of similar answers already but my friend and I were best men of each other same year, and the days were slightly different.

My best man and I were both kept together, in a room out of the way to allow my now-wife to arrive at the home and then start getting ready. So at that stage, his job was to keep me company and keep me calm as I panicked. He did a great job. There was a piano, he played me some pieces and then we stood outside.

I had 4 groomsmen, my wife 4 bridesmaids. We had them stand facing the crowd with us, almost like a status thing so that they were shown to be the “chosen few” almost. So my best man stood behind me with my groomsmen, then the registrar, then my wife, then her bridesmaids. He held our rings and gave them to us at the correct point.
He signed our registry, as did my wife’s maid of honour/chief bridesmaid whatever she wanted to be called.

He was then in a variety of my wedding photos, and while we were getting other photos taken, he made the effort to speak to every person there so that nobody was alone. Then he gave a great speech at dinner, was on the dance floor almost the whole night, and stayed over at the house with us to have a breakfast the next day. I thought he was a brilliant best man.

He got married in a church, so I stood at the foot of the altar with him, held the rings, signed the paperwork along with his wife’s friend. Prior to that, he and his wife did a “first look” where he went to her parents house and saw her in her dress, then they shared a private chat in the garden while being photographed. So I accompanied him there.

Again, I was in loads of the photos with his wedding party, directed the wedding traffic back to their cars and into the next venue and then gave a speech. Since he had spoken to everyone at mine, I tried to do the same, and also made the effort to dance for as long as I possibly could.
I hope that he thought I was a good best man…

So I guess what I’m saying overall is that the tasks are kinda dictated by the wedding. Both my best man and I were mostly just looking for some company and a chance to say “this person is my closest friend, so I want them to be right in the heart of my wedding”, and I imagine that’s the case for you as well. Being asked to be best man is one of the greatest honours I’ve ever had, and I am so grateful to have been able to do that. So try your best not to overthink it and just enjoy the day

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DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

I'm gonna be a best man in a week's time. You've got this.

The best man stands next to the groom at the start of the service, specifically to his right on the outside with the bride on his left. If you were sat in the congregation, the order from left to right goes FoB, Bride, Groom, Best Man. Once the service is underway everyone except the couple and the officiant returns to their seats, which will normally be reserved seats on the front row. You stay there until the couple have made their vows.

You will normally be responsible for the rings. The time to present them is immediately after the couple have said their vows, at which point you will probably be asked for them. Take them out of the box and give them directly to the officiant. There is a crappy tired old joke of the best man pretending he's forgotten the rings at this point. Don't do this, it's been done to death and stopped being funny before I was born.

You will likely be asked to witness, along with the MoH. If so, you'll follow the bridal party over to where the registers are signed and be directed where to sign and what to do.

The groom and the best man do not process in. They are there from the beginning as the guests are arriving, either mingling with guests or possibly off to one side. Your job at this point is to be your groom's best friend, stick with him, and make sure he's got what he needs. You and the groom will then move into position at the start.

You will probably be part of the procession out. Traditionally you'd be accompanied by the MoH, but that's not a given. You will be told the order.

People have already mentioned the speech. In a lot of cases the best man's speech is meant to be light-hearted, gently poking fun at the groom. Don't tell any really embarassing or personal stories, and definitely don't talk about the stag party. See the speech as you testifying to the groom's character; make sure you tell the bride she looks beautiful, and complement the family on how well the ceremony went. The speech should be short; in the words of my dad: "Stand up, speak up, shut up".

You will probably be invited to a rehearsal a few days before the service. You'll be given all the finer details and directions there. As long as you remember everything you're told there you'll be fine.

Traditionally, it's also the best man's duty to organise the stag do, though the groom may choose to make other arrangements if it's more convenient.

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casusbelli16@reddit

Most important job getting the groom to the venue on time and sober.

Ask for a meeting with at the very least the groom and ask those questions, timelines are important.

An anecdote of how the groom is a good guy and how the happy couple met and how everyone is happy the marrying is usual how wonderful the bride looks.

Avoid mention of exes, but do include any children they have. Acknowledge and thank both sets of parents if applicable.

Cringy jokes from online are best avoided, I attended a wedding were the Best Man's speech was on after another.

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anxiousthroway85@reddit

My husbands best men stood on his left at the alter slightly stepped back, didn’t get in the way at all. Handed over the rings which he was terrified of losing lol.

The best man and my Head Bridesmaid signed the register with us and he gave the speech at the wedding breakfast.

Don’t worry though, it’ll all be explained to you the weeks before at the church wedding rehearsal (at a church not sure what happens for a registry) sure you’ll do a bang up job

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

>it’ll all be explained to you the weeks before

It's tomorrow

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anxiousthroway85@reddit

Oh gosh missed that. In any case your role is to keep the rings safe, reassure the groom if he’s nervous and give a speech. You’re going to smash it. From what I’ve heard after the speech the Best Man properly relaxes and enjoys the day.

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9451659818184@reddit (OP)

You didn't miss it, I was quite vague, sorry. Thank you for your help

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anxiousthroway85@reddit

Not just me being bleary eyed then! Oh you walk into the ceremony room with the groom.

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andycwb1@reddit

In some ways the best man is playing a bit of a host role. You’ll be directed if you need to sit. Yes, you’ll have the rings unless there is a younger bridesmaid acting as ring bearer. The celebrant will ask for the rings. The important thing is the speech - don’t be offensive, try to be funny, and learn to speak up! Practice it a few times before you go.

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Logbotherer99@reddit

You are like the grooms PA. Keep him calm, make sure he has what he needs. You should have a good grasp of the days logistics because the couple shouldn't be bothered with that too much. Durring ceremony you are wingman amd ring holder. After you are often a witness, you are also guest wrangler for photography etc. Speech is a big one, if you are worried or not a confident speaker just remember that everyone there is on your side. Compliments for the bride, mother of both, bridesmaids etc. Sometimes you will do the gifts for bridesmaids, sometimes the couple does that.

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madcow87_@reddit

You'll mainly be directed where to go at what time in the ceremony.

You'll likely have a seat allocated at the front somewhere and you'll be shown where that is.

You'll stand with the groom until his bride is with him then take your seat. You may be asked to hold the rings too but ask the groom. The couple may have another plan already for rings.

The number 1 job is the speech. Try to keep it short and sweet (I shot for 5-10 minutes in the 2 that Ive done. Other people I think should have more time like the father of the bride or the groom etc). Take a couple of potshots at the groom if that's what your relationship is like but on the whole keep the theme heartfelt and supportive, this is a day of celebrating love between 2 people you don't need to bring up past exploits but the positives of their relationship.

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stu676@reddit

Speech.
Thank everyone for coming.
Say the ladies look beautiful especially point out the bride.
Tell a funny story about the groom. (Not the one where he shagged the stripper)
Toast the happy couple.
Job done.

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PatternWeary3647@reddit

Not the one where he shagged the stripper

And especially not the one where he shagged the bridesmaids and bride’s sister - yesterday.

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Dreadheaddanski@reddit

Speech is most important part, second is basically being the grooms bitch for the day

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ukslim@reddit

Ask the groom what he wants. Bride too if possible, especially if the groom is flaky.

Generally it's:

Organise a stag

Do a speech on the day

Ring bearing

Sometimes some crowd control on the day - "everyone come back in for your pudding".

Although I was once best man, I organised the stag, checked with the groom "Now, is there anything else I need to do" and he said "no, I don't think so". So I didn't prepare a speech, thinking they'd chosen an unconventional no-best-man's-speech format... And so had to wing it on the day.

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Pukit@reddit

I’ve been best man three times now. It’s a pretty straightforward gig. Just stick around the groom until the ceremony is over. You may or may not have a run through before it happens so you know what to expect.

You’ll probably go into an office or quiet corner with the groom and registrar before it happens for a briefing.

You’ll stand beside him at the front and will stay in your spot through the ceremony, standing up and sitting down as the registrar calls. Then they’ll ask you to present the rings, just open the box and pop the rings in the hands or give to the registrar. Then sit back down.

When the rings are done, kisses are done, and you’re about to leave, you’ll generally walk arm in arm with the maid of honour behind the groom and his wife. You’ll be instructed when to leave by the registrar or the groom, some like a gap, some like to instant follow.

Usually at the reception it’ll be drinks/canapés for a couple of hours with photos. Try and help find people and organise people for the photographer once you’ve got a drink as it makes life easier.

Then the wedding breakfast, you’ll be on the same table as the groom (usually). The master of ceremonies should announce the dinner is ready, guests to be seated, they’ll also announce the speeches.

Ime don’t over do or over think the speech. I’ve been at weddings where there’s been four best men and four speeches and it took over an hour and we’d not yet eaten. You only need a few minutes, few laughs, some lovely dovey shit then a toast and get pissed. Enjoy it.

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fabulousteaparty@reddit

Ask your friend - the couple getting married should have all the answers for you. But here's some info to help calm your nerves.

You will likely already be in the room when guests arrive. The traditional role if it's a church wedding is to hand out order of ceremonies and help people to seats.

You will likely sit during the ceremony. And give the rings one by one to the bride/groom. E.g. give the groom the bride's ring first so they can do his part of the exchange then give the groom's ring to the bride.

You may be expected to help get people to where they need to be. For example: finding family members for photos, or ushering everyone into the wedding breakfast room after photos/drinks.

And as other's have said - the speech is probably your most important job. Have something funny, but not too rude or sweary (especially if there are kids around), and don't compare the new partner to the groom's exes. E.g. A funny story about how you met the groom, what he was like before he met the bride how lucky they both are to have each other and finish with a toast.

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fabulousteaparty@reddit

Ask your freind re:witnesses. It's quite common now for parents to be witnesses, but it's up to the couple so they may choose best man and maid of honour.

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vikingveteran@reddit

Look after rings, make sure the groom is sober….ish and makes it to the wedding, sleep with a bridesmaid, banging speech that’s about it

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windy_on_the_hill@reddit

Often there will be a rehearsal where ypu will find out where to stand.

Ypur main job is to support the groom. Up to the day before the wedding, the groom has lots of things to help organise.

On the day of, it is not their problem, it is now your problem. Your phrase for the day is "I'll deal with that".

Groom can't find cufflinks. "I'll get you some." Followed by you sending a friend out to beg, but or borrow. (Just bring an extra set with you.)

Aunt Mary is lost on the way to the ceremony. "I'll send someone to find her."

In your pocket put some things: tissues, comb, wee bit of cash, anything that might be needed that you wouldn't think about every day. If groom wears glasses, keep a cleaning cloth handy.

On my own wedding day I THOUGHT "I'm thirsty" and my brother turned to me with a bottle of water. I couldn't beat that but he was clearly thinking about me.

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Alternative-Day5268@reddit

Recently got married so will tell you my experience.

You'll generally be seated close to the front. Sometimes you might be stood with or next to the groom.

Most grooms and their best man will be stood at the front as guests come in. Some choose to enter similar to the bride, so best ask the groom what they plan to do.

You'll be guided through the ceremony and will be present with the registrar (the person running the marriage) and on the day they'll tell you when you'll be called upon to do your bit.

It doesn't matter about getting in the way of the attendees you'll just stand usually where the registrar tells you. Probably just to side of the groom. You'll present the box to the groom who will take the brides ring to place on her finger, then you will do the same to the bride. You'll keep them in the box until the bride and groom take them from the box.

You may be a legal witness, but some couples decide to share the honour to their people. I.e. for our wedding we had a friend as best man and a friend as maid of honour, but the witnesses were our mam's. Speak to the groom about this.

Other than that your duties might be pretty light, your just there helping with bits and bobs whatever the groom needs.

TLDR:

Go onto YouTube and just search 'British Wedding Video's and try and find one of a full ceremony - if you PM me I can share you our wedding video that have unlisted on youtube.
Speak to the couple and just ask 'Do you want us to enter like the bride does or already be in there'.
the registrar should guide you on the day as to what's happening
a lot of what you asked just kind of depends on the registrar and the couple's decisions.

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Numerous-Abrocoma-50@reddit

Depends on the wedding.

I have done it twice. The speech and giving support to groom are the main things. The second time I did it, the groom was mega stressed and said it calmed him down when we were making our daft injokes whilst waiting for bride to come down the aisle.

Need to organise stag doo. Although tbh the groom did most of it for us.

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StatisticianUsual471@reddit

Stands at the front in the ceremony and makes a speech at the reception

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shakeyourrumba@reddit

Support the groom, calm his nerves, tell every women in the wedding party how beautiful they look on the day (bride and mothers of bride and groom especially), smash the speech then be the centre of merriment once that is all done.

Other than that do as the priest/vicar, wedding coordinator, venue manager tell you.

I've done it a few times and that was pretty much my approach.

When writing the speech, give some thank yous, make fun of the groom just enough to be amusing but not enough to go to far, add some sentiment and finish it by telling them both you love them - most of all make it personal to you and him, the best speeches are ones which reflect the person telling them not someone trying to be a stand up comedian.

And most importantly KEEP IT SHORT, no one wants a 45 minute presentation.

Good luck and have fun.

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miss-mercatale@reddit

My nephew had two best men and they were amazing. From organising the Stag involving beekeeper suits and the hottest curry ever…to completely looking after him on the day. They shared the speech and it was just the most wonderful speech switching between them. Full of laughter and pure love for their man.

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FreddyFrogFrightener@reddit

I'm a best man soon too. Your best bet is to ask the groom what he wants from you. A speech is almost guaranteed, you'll most likely be in charge of the rings, typically stand by your groom and present the rings when asked. Other than that just be a general pillar of support for the groom and the bride if she needs it and her bridesmaids are occupied. If you spot something going wrong and you can fix it or bring it to someone's attention to fix then that would be helpful too.

For the most part just worry about a speech and the rings and looking after the groom on what will probably be one of the most emotional days of his life.

Try not to get too drunk too, your groom is counting on you.

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Jezzle219@reddit

Ceremony wise it changes wedding to wedding I'm sure but most I've been to in the UK (including mine!), the groom and his best man and ushers are in the room where the ceremony is going to take place as people arrive. You can say hi to people etc. If they have questions e.g. is there a loo, they'll probably ask you! They'll also ask where to put cards/gifts when you get to the reception. The speech is the most important part but you can definitely help the day run smoothly and I'm sure it will be appreciated by the couple. Personally, I'd ask the groom so you know what your responsibilities are. Failing that, ask the bride.

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SuperDinkle406@reddit

Get the groom to the wedding in good shape. Orgnaise things so that the Groom and Bride have a stress free day.
Look after the ring(s). Again take away the stress.
Witness the marriage documents.
Run the reception.
Entertaining speech at the reception.
Make sure the bride and groom get off/leave safely and happily.
Fight off any other suiters. You are legally allow to carry a sword.

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SmokeSignals84@reddit

Can you talk to the groom about it? I think only the people planning the wedding can tell you exactly what they expect for the ceremony.

At weddings I’ve been to before, the best man tends to already be in the room as guests get seated for the ceremony. He might be stood at the front with the groom, or talking to guests and helping them get seated. He has usually stood to the side of the groom throughout the ceremony - not between the registrar and the attendees, just off to the side, though at one wedding I went to there was a seat for the wedding party in the front row. It is pretty standard for the best man to hold onto the rings and present them when asked, but talk to the groom about if/how he wants that to happen. At weddings I’ve been to, the best man has kept the rings in the box, and when the registra asks for them, he has opened the box and presented them directly to the bride and groom, who should take each others’ ring to put on their finger.

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172116@reddit

You may be needed for a run through the day before. If there isn't a run through, the celebrant will probably tell you morning of what is needed. If the groom has a history of flakiness, ask the bride if there's a walk through! My BiL forgot to tell the groomsmen about the rehearsal, and the best man only turned up because he was the groom's brother and their mum dragged him there! Check with the groom whether you're the witness.

The groom and his attendants are usually present in the venue from the start, but it's not unheard of nowadays for them to enter as part of the ceremony ahead of the bride and her attendants, although still very uncommon here compared to the states.

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Feeling-Medium-7856@reddit

Give a speech and do as you are told.

Focus on the speech, the other stuff you just make yourself useful and available / you will be instructed.

Also - trying to hit the sweet spot of alcohol consumed before the speech is probably a key responsibility…

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Nosworthy@reddit

They may have a rehearsal shortly before where they'll tell you where you need to stand etc. But ultimately it's not too important. You'll stand next to (just off) the groom but nobody is going to remember if you stood slightly out of position. Focus on the speech, that's the main thing. Even then people probably won't remember it in 5 years but it's your main job for the day.

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Norsa321@reddit

It will vary wedding on wedding and you'll be told once bride and groom decide how they want the day to go. Generally though; before ceremony, help groom greet guests and direct them on where they can sit. During ceremony, sit front row on grooms side (or stand to the side of him if standing). You'll be asked before if you want to be a legal witness, its just signing a form when prompted.

Other than that, be support for groom and make sure he gets there on time and not shitfaced.

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SonOfGreebo@reddit

Traditionally, the Best Man had to be an unmarried man. If the expected husband didn't arrive for the wedding, the Best Man was required to marry the bride there and then. Family would make sure she married someone as she would already be pregnant.

But the practice of announcing "banns" of marriage in advance put an end to this.

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