Jeremy Clarkson once wrote in The Sunday Times that “a hobby carves a hole in your soul and diminishes your humanity.” Well, he’s finally come out of the closet and admits to having at least one socially acceptable hobby! Here’s a preview:

“The thing is, though, that I also have a hobby. And it’s one I’ve never dared speak about in public. Because if I did, I’ve always assumed I’d be ostracised by my friends and ­cancelled by my bosses.

“…My name is Jeremy Clarkson and I’m a bird-watcher.”

(Usual disclaimers apply, and that certainly explains why Clarkson was obsessed with calculating the speed of birds on both shows over the years!)