Lost a friend this week. Died in his sleep, age 43. Knew him since 6th grade, was my senior walk partner, lived in the same dorm at college. Had a blast with him and his wife at the last reunion. I can’t really believe it.

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Unlikely_Shake8208@reddit

Senior walk partner? Im 47, I go on regular walks, im not a senior. Also, sorry for your loss.

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Embarrassed_Rate5518@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It sucks. Hugs from this internet stranger.

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c0147@reddit

PSA: If you are in this sub you should be going to the doctor for an exam and blood work at least once a year for the rest of your life.

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You are so right. I hadn't been in a few years and yesterday I woke up feeling weird, heart racing like I had too much coffee even though I hadn't had any and felt like it was hard to get a good deep breath. I took a shower, took my son to school, ate some breakfast and then told my wife I was feeling a little off and that I was going to go lay back down. She asked what was wrong and then insisted on taking me to the ER to get checked out. Turns out my heart was in A-Fib and my heart rate was 180. They immediately got me back and did a EKG, chest X-ray, blood tests, and then cardioversion where they shocked my heart into a normal rhythm. Scary stuff for someone with no cardiac history. Very high risk of stroke if I had just ignored it and taken a nap hoping it would go away. I am so thankful that my wife has better sense than I do. Be like my wife, go get checked out, especially if something doesn't feel normal.

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Colambler@reddit

Have you been checked for sleep apnea? It's often linked to afib.

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D-Skel@reddit

I just did that for the first time a couple days ago. I was nervous as hell to see my results, but it was also such a relief to finally get it done.

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FethB@reddit

I just had an echocardiogram a couple of days ago (I’m 46) and felt the same way, I was nervous considering my mother’s heart failure diagnosis but all was well and I’m relieved to have done it.

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Pinklady777@reddit

Time for the colonoscopy! And get your annual mammogram if you're female!

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-poupou-@reddit

PSA: Many people can mail off a sample (yearly) instead of doing the colonoscopy, if there are no special risk factors.

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c0147@reddit

This testing method will likely tell you if you have colon cancer or not. But it will not tell you if you have precancerous polyps.

The colonoscopy method is the gold standard. The doctor has full visibility and can remove any polyps as part of the exam. As well as identify any other areas of concern.

Unfortunately the “mailing” option can miss quite a few things. In aggressive situations early intervention matters significantly.

It’s not a big deal. The prep is the most invasive part to be honest. Propyfol is a nice nap too.

The procedure is covered as a preventative under just about any insurance plan just like your annual wellness exam is.

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DBPanterA@reddit

If a physician says use Cologuard, follow their instructions.

As a Type 1 diabetic, I did the colonoscopy where I drank that lovely solution and spent a day in the bathroom. I will do that every damn time because I am a really big fan of life, and if I have to drink a shitty solution once every few years, so be it. 🤜

Xennials should really begin to visit medical professionals now and not be afraid to ask questions. Could be the sore joint, could be recent trouble falling asleep, anything. Life is too damn short to put stuff off that can both improve the quality of life and extend life itself.

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rosstein33@reddit

People whining about the prep have never done hard things in their life (in my opinion).

I did a 7 day low fiber prep leading up to the procedure. I did the full gallon of nastiness which equated to like 8oz every 30mins or whatever the math is. Chugging 8oz and 3 seconds of the yuck aftertaste is easy.

Did I have to go to the bathroom a lot that day? Of course. But by the time it was time to go to bed, I was basically cleaned out. Had no problems sleeping through the night...didn't need to get up at all.

Finished my prep in the morning and then off to the procedure. As everyone says, the procedure was easy and painless. Dr. removed one small polyp and everything else looked good.

Get it done people. Get those polyps early.

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c0147@reddit

There’s actually now an alternate method using a product called Clenpiq.

Basically, you eat a low fiber diet the 4 days prior.

Then the actual prep starts the morning of, 3 hours before arrival time.

All you drink is two 6oz bottles of very salty liquid 1 hour apart and then park yourself on the toilet for about 90 minutes.

Very easy. No drinking a gallon plus of liquid.

You just have to find a gastroenterologist that uses this method.

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rosstein33@reddit

Yeah. There's a few low-volume or even pill methods. I wasn't eligible because they required blood work before use and I didn't have time. So I just went with the gallon.

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c0147@reddit

Gotcha. I had scheduled mine shortly after my annual wellness exam and bloodwork. So I walked into the gastroenterologist with recent bloodwork in hand.

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rosstein33@reddit

Don't settle for this. This is a lackluster approach to managing colorectal health.

Riddled with false positives and false negatives. It also doesn't detect precancerous polyps.

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-poupou-@reddit

Since it's every year, rather than every 10 (or 3-5 if you're higher risk), I imagine it comes out in the wash.

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rosstein33@reddit

Yup. Will tell you right in time that the precancerous polyps you never found because you were shitting on a stick have become cancerous. Or you'll get a false negative and not find it.

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-poupou-@reddit

I've had about enough of people cutting pre-cancerous things out of my body, but I guess I'll ask my doctor about if not dying of colon cancer is right for me! Thanks, stranger

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goobershank@reddit

This is all my insurance will cover without additional risk factors.

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c0147@reddit

Was my understanding that once you’re 45 years old the colonoscopy is covered.

Either way you can also claim a family history of polyps if you want to introduce “risk factors” to have them cover it

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imogen1983@reddit

My insurance has colonoscopies 100% covered at 45, but I had a colonoscopy at 35 that revealed polyps and now mine have to go towards my deductible, since I’m “high risk”. Once there’s any reason to investigate, whether family history or personal history, it’s no longer considered a preventative screening, at least with my Cigna plan. $2k every 5 years is absolutely worth it, though. I just had a non-cancerous polyp removed and feel relieved.

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c0147@reddit

Agree. $2K every 5 years is something you can budget for and sounds a lot better than dying from colon cancer.

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rebelangel@reddit

I turned 45 this year and just did that.

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Psychological-Touch1@reddit

I figure if my body wants to off itself that’s fine by me

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c0147@reddit

I’d say that if you don’t have young children or anyone that depends on you for their livelihood that’s a perfectly sensible position.

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Psychological-Touch1@reddit

My family and pets died so yay me

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Country_Gravy420@reddit

Oof. Sorry to hear that.

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slywether85@reddit

That would be nice but alas the land of the free has decided I make too much money to be given any assistance and not enough to access healthcare 🤷‍♀️ my fate is up to the gods.

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FiveTaken@reddit

Actually, the land of the free decided on universal healthcare, your state Republican leaders decided otherwise. Still, do you have a Netflix subscription? A new car? A vacation? Then you could have afforded a physical if you valued it properly.

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slywether85@reddit

Haven't been on a vacation in 20 years, I don't own a car and while I don't believe an $8 streaming subscription adds up to healthcare access, I do have one from time to time. I must say your empathy and capacity for wisdom is luminous, refulgent even 🙏

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wanna_be_green8@reddit

Cash pay is often far cheaper than insurance, might be worth asking the price of what you need.

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c0147@reddit

This is the unfortunate reality in the USA but there are definitely options for annual wellness exams and bloodwork without insurance

Sliding Scale Clinics: Search for "Federally Qualified Health Centers" (FQHCs). They are legally required to adjust fees based on your income

Wholesale Bloodwork: Skip the doctor’s bill and buy lab tests directly from Quest or Labcorp online. A basic wellness panel is usually $50–$100 out-of-pocket.

Retail Physicals: Hit up a CVS MinuteClinic. They publish flat rates for physicals (around $100) upfront, so there are zero surprise bills.

Also, worth checking HealthCare.gov again. Recent federal changes expanded tax credits for people who previously "made too much" to qualify for help.

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rebelangel@reddit

PSA: If you have boobs and a vagina, you should also be getting those exams too. The guidelines for Pap smears have changed, so if you have one with no abnormalities, you only have to do it every 3 years.

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divestblank@reddit

And exercise weekly

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Rombonius@reddit

but I feel vigorous

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mojoninjaaction@reddit

So did that guy who ran a marathon without realizing he had a tumor in his colon, I'm sure.

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Calibornand@reddit

Get your skin checked. High school friend had skin cancer on her back. Lived by herself and didn’t notice it until too late. She died at 45. We used to lay out and try to tan when teens. So stupid now but really didn’t appreciate the damage being done by the sun.

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Accadius@reddit

Sorry for your loss.

My two best friends are gone. Both named Randy. The first was kia in Iraq in 2005 at 21 years old and. the other overdosed in 2023 at 38

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Autumn_Forest_Mist@reddit

I’m so sorry

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f33tSp3ak@reddit

This fucking sucks, and anyone that tells you otherwise is a liar. I’m widowed and I highly recommend the book “It’s okay to not be okay”.

Just breathe, and I am deeply sorry for your loss.

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Vermalien@reddit

I’m so sad You lost Your love. If it is OK, may I ask, who wrote this book? I hope to find it as an audiobook.

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peekaboooobakeep@reddit

I think they're referring to the book by Megan Devine. It's absolutely available in audiobook and it's a really excellent book. I recommend this one over and over in the suicide bereavement sub. It's especially regarding deaths that are sudden/out of order deaths. The author reads the audio book version and I found the voice pretty soothing. She's a licensed mental health something, but her book was heavily focused on her experience with her husband's death at a very young age in a random accident.

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gypsyjacks453@reddit

I also recommend the grieving brain, by Mary Francis O’Conner.

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f33tSp3ak@reddit

This is correct

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keefkola@reddit

Taro Gomi wrote it. They also wrote everybody poops.

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EARMUFFS-GAMING@reddit

Im sorry for your loss, cant imagine what you've been through.

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f33tSp3ak@reddit

You can’t, but deep loss teaches you how to grieve if you let it.

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yungrii@reddit

A few years back, I lost three xennial friends over 6 months. One had an unknown heart issue and a sudden heart attack. Another was an overdose / relapse / maybe suicide. And then a super close friend to a severe and fast breast cancer. To finalize it, my dog then died on my dad's birthday (he is also dead).

It still has me fucked up. Thankful but feeling a little nuts.

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F0MA@reddit

Geez. I am so sorry.

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Rhythmalist@reddit

Hope you are hanging in there.

At the risk of stating the obvious, that's a steady drumbeat of awful shit.

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Smolfloof99@reddit

I shouldn't even respond but not everyone wants to exist in this world. Take your own book title and realize that not everyone is ok and that's ok. Fuck you.

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bakins711@reddit

Is that Jenny Lawson’s book? Recently saw her in Concord, NH with my wife. She was amazing.

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f33tSp3ak@reddit

Megan Devine

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Lazy_Salamander_9920@reddit

I’m so sorry. I lost my best friend a few years ago. She was 38. One of the best things people do when I mention my friend is just ask questions about them. Friendships are important relationships and sometimes they get downplayed because the focus is on the spouse and family but it hurts to lose a friend so much. So tell me your favorite memory about your friend. I would love to hear it.

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lilwayne2722@reddit

The same thing happened to my best friend at the same exact age. The really sad part is when his 13 year old son came home from school that afternoon to find him.

It has been nearly 5 years now. I miss my best friend so much. We became best friends in the second grade, so we were very close friends for around 35 years. For those reading this, reach out to your best friend today and tell them that you love them.

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ManWhoTalksToHisHand@reddit

We're in the age range now where we just drop dead.

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xt0rt@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss. 43 is so young!

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elbr@reddit

I'm so sorry. Death is always hard but 40s is really young. I just learned yesterday that my cousin died. She was 46. She was a mail carrier and when I last saw her a year ago, she was having some problems with her feet. I still haven't heard exactly how she died but one family member said her kidneys failed.

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AccountOfMyDarkside@reddit

I'm still close with a lot of friends from childhood and losing them really hits hard. The first we lost, died only 2 years after graduation. That was incredibly hard. Lost another about 5 years ago, to alcoholism. That hurt in a completely different way. To know someone so well, for so long...RIP Jason. We love you.

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dancindead@reddit

Sleep Study... CPAP saves lives!

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KruzerVanDuzer@reddit

Losing someone you love without a chance to truly say goodbye is devastating. I’m sorry for this happening to your friend.

There’s a documentary called “Griefwalker” that follows the work of Stephen Jenkinson, who specializes in helping people with working through their experiences of death and grief. It’s not the best made film, but his words are his insights may help you find some comfort and relief.

It sucks. I lost someone close to me almost one year ago, and the pain doesn’t go away, it just changes over time. My memories of him will always bring me happiness but a little sadness at the same time.

Every day is a gift. Try to honor their spirit by living it to the fullest for you and the ones you both loved.

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platypus_farmer42@reddit

Damn, I’m 43.

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Complete-Traffic5465@reddit

Same here, I’ll 44 in June.

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YoghurtPrimary230@reddit

December…

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Moliza3891@reddit

Same here. Reading this after just waking up, so feeling especially grateful.

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Out-There1013@reddit

I'm 43 as well and getting a little spooked by how many of these stories I've been seeing recently. But it's always been happening and now it's like seeing cars on the road that are the same kind as the one you just bought.

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derekschroer@reddit

I will be this coming Friday

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Horror_Spell1741@reddit

One of my good friends passed from cancer a few years ago when he was 42; it’s still hard for me when I think I want to call him to go grab a drink and hang out. Life is unfair sometimes

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TrixieLaBouche@reddit

Sorry for your loss my friend. I lost my first friend of my age in 2009 (suicide). We'd grown up together and honestly she was the funniest most caring girl. There's something that hits differently in grief when it's not a family member and is your age. It's a grief and feeling your own mortality.

Sending love.

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pdx_via_dtw@reddit

lost my uncle today. first hard loss as an adult. its beginning. family is aging and it sucks really hard.

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FatReverend@reddit

Sorry for your loss. I am glad to know he didn't suffer. I hope to go the same way

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-NigheanDonn@reddit

Last month my high school friend died in her sleep too. She was only 41. It has been so hard to deal with, even though we haven’t seen each other in more than 20 years.

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Psychological-Touch1@reddit

Brain popped a fuse?

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Truffle_Shuffle26@reddit

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I’m 43 as well and have always been overly terrified of something like this. This is my reminder to get to the doctor.

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Basic_Magician7070@reddit

Hugs fellow mate

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Allureme@reddit

No. It’s rough and as you age or mature, I thought I’d be able to handle stuff like this easier but no. Two years ago by cousin was murdered (42) and then 5 days before Christmas that year my BIL(43) was found dead in his truck.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

i'm so sorry. My cousin was also murdered, although it happened when we were still teenagers and my SIL died 7 years ago now-2 weeks before her 40th birthday. It was also around Christmas. It never feels like it gets easier to me, losing people or that i get used to it (the same as you). Sending you and yours healing.

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catch_yourself_on@reddit

My first acquaintance that was murdered, happened in my young 20s. I'm in my late 40s and realized it's a little more common than I thought.

It was such a shock at the time. I am so sorry. It really hurts.

I've had too many suicides of my kid's friends too. It's scary times.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

i'm so sorry for your experiences too. There is something so especially cruel and painful when someone dies so young, whether it's by murder, suicide, illness, or a "natural" death. And to have experienced multiple of them, as you and i (and your kids) have? i think it rewires your brain in some way.

i know that, when i was a teen/early 20's, i lost friends to suicide but it seems that the rates really are higher today. i understand why with ~everything~ especially if one is prone to depression, despair, or, you know, just looking around at it all too much, but it's so damn sad.

Sorry, i'm in my feelings tonight because of other things and i don't talk about this stuff much so this particular thread is 1 part cathartic and one part super emotional. Thank you for your empathy and commiserating, it means a lot.

Wishing you and your family healing and safety 💜

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catch_yourself_on@reddit

I agree, cathartic and emotional. It's the stuff my parents kept hidden from me and told me it wasn't "polite" to talk about.

I think it does rewrire your brain. You come to horrible realizations, that some are suffering so much that the only way out is not existing anymore. I don't think I even blame them. I mourn the fact that this is the state of things. We could do so much better.

For my oldest son,who is 21, he's had 2 close friends die.

My second son helped in an emergency rescue with the police, of a former girlfriend. They even allowed him to drive her to the hospital before he could legally have passengers. He was just the only one she would talk to.

Our kids are at more risk than we think. It makes me more jittery than I would like.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

It's so crazy to me that the generations before us hammered it, so hard, that these emotions weren't polite or proper when all they are is human. And they connect us in such beautiful ways even if the things themselves are sad or hard. Talking about them is not only how we process them, but it's also how we destigmatize these things.

i couldn't agree with your 2nd paragraph/point more. i, too, wish there was a better, happier, safer world for everyone so that suicide didn't feel like the best/only option but, unless and until we achieve that as a species...it is, sadly, always going to be something that those of us left behind have to grapple with. And, hopefully more people can have this kind of grace, to not be angry but understanding and kind 💜

Your sons sound like empathetic, good friends to people who need them. Even if they were unable to change the outcome-which, to be clear, would be impossible 99.99% of the time-being there for friends and caring means more than they probably are able to fully understand. It sounds to me like you've done a wonderful job of helping to instill love, understanding, and kindness in them, which is what we really need.

i don't blame you, at all, for your feelings of nervousness. It feels scarier now than maybe ever to try to raise children, with everything in the world and the ever evolving technology, etc. i don't know. i try to believe in the goodness and kindness of people as a whole but that doesn't mean it isn't still scary as all hell.

i'm glad that your kids have your love and guidance to lean on. Obviously i don't know you personally but you seem like someone who actually cares and supports them and that makes so much of a difference.

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catch_yourself_on@reddit

Thank you! I feel seen. Haven't felt that in a while.

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Allureme@reddit

June 3 will be 2 years. Maybe you have more insight. It’s gone by so fast and so much has happened in the last two years. Yet it still feels like it happened last week and that I’m standing here two years later like time hasn’t moved.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

The truth is, i'm still muddling and stumbling through it too sometimes. Some days are easier than others. Some days i cry my eyes out at the injustice of it all. i still miss them both horribly. i know i always will.

And that's okay. It's okay to feel them in your heart and in your life. To have times that you're sad, angry, happy thinking of them, forget that they're gone for a minute...whatever emotions or feelings you have, they're all normal and more rational than you think.

For those of us left behind, time really does sort of stop, as you described. But then we also have to keep going and it's the strangest, most difficult thing to do. So, all we can do, is move forward, day by day and try to not get stuck in the quagmire of feelings and thoughts we have. i know that's easier said than done, especially only 2 years out, but time does help and your hearts will get lighter eventually.

i'm so, so sorry that you're part of this club. It's not one i'd wish on anyone and i'm certain that your cousin and BIL were beautiful people to have your love they way they do.

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Allureme@reddit

Thank you.

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Roscoe_P_Trolltrain@reddit

Damn still young. Do you know what happened? Sorry if that's insensitive to ask.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

Not OP but, a similar situation just happened with my dad's former boss who just lost his oldest son at 43. He was healthy, fit, didn't smoke, worked out, rarely drank, ate healthy, did it all "right."

He caught what he thought was "just a cold", quickly turned into pneumonia, that turned into sepsis and completely shut his entire system down. Complete organ failure. He was dead within less than a month. Devastating.

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Roscoe_P_Trolltrain@reddit

holy shit! how tragic.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

Yeah, the whole family are really wonderful people and they are just devastated. As you would expect of course.

Life is (comparatively) short and you just never know.

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normllikeme@reddit

Good way to go. I’ve lost allot of family to suicide the last few years. 42 here

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ApprehensiveLion67@reddit

Can I ask if he had sleep apnea?

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IpeeInclosets@reddit

Hooo doggy, this post really makes me feel like I'm in borrowed time.

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Commies-Fan@reddit

Be thankful he passed in his sleep. Its the best way we can all hope to go. Sorry for your loss. Ive yet to lose a close friend and Im not looking forward to it.

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TrustAffectionate966@reddit

How did he pass away? 43 is awfully young.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

Not OP but, a similar situation just happened with my dad's former boss who just lost his oldest son at 43. He was healthy, fit, didn't smoke, worked out, rarely drank, ate healthy, did it all "right."

He caught what he thought was "just a cold", quickly turned into pneumonia, that turned into sepsis and completely shut his entire system down. Complete organ failure. He was dead within less than a month. Devastating.

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Foothills83@reddit

Sorry amigo.

Last August I lost a buddy I lived with for four years between college and law school. Is wife found him next to his Peloton at 6:30 a.m. 41YO competitive triathlete, etc. Weird heart thing. A 4MO and 3YO. Devastating.

It's so shitty. Take care of yourself.

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IntrepidRobot@reddit

Sorry for your loss - that's tough for everyone

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jadethebard@reddit

My old roommate died in February, he was only 56. My high school best fruend/soul mate died at 41. Too many people dying too young. I'm sorry you lost your friend. 💔

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mutantbabysnort@reddit

Sorry for your loss.

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AbbreviationsBorn276@reddit

Lost a friend. She was 42 when she died, from pneumonia. That was close to 2 years ago and it still fucking hurts. I still cant believe she is gone.

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Ultimate-Flexionator@reddit

Look at it this way... at least it was in his sleep. too young, but a merciful way to go. we all will face our time and I just hope it's quick and painless.

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espressocycle@reddit

I've only lost one friend although it's not like I have ever had a lot of them.

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AshDogBucket@reddit

Damn :( so sorry.

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H3nchman_24@reddit

From Gen X, sorry for your loss. You are rolling into the age where your buddies are dieing from natural causes instead of stupid shit. It's rough. I had an old friend die from a heart attack a few months ago, 1 year younger then me and he treated himself a whole lot better that I've treated this old frame I have.

Hold the line, and cheers to your friend 🍻

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unoriginal1187@reddit

My best friend from highschool died before he turned 40 do to medical complications and it still sucks. Hell the 3 years he spent in a nursing home sucked to visit him

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Aggressive-Green4592@reddit

I lost a friend who was 36 to cancer at the beginning of April.

My condolences!!

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Fine_Caterpillar_280@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. He sounds like a wonderful friend to have. RIP to your friend. Take care of yourself.

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ImprovementThat2403@reddit

I’m really sorry for your loss, I’ve a little experience with this myself as I lost my best friend of 40 years back in March, we spoke most days, fucking cancer.

Anyway, what I wanted to share was this really helpful post a Redditor made years ago about how grief feels and how it passes, it’s helped me and I hope it does the same for you; https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/comment/c1u0rx2/

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Matty_D47@reddit

Seriously though, sorry for your loss man (buckle up)

gif

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strong_like_tree@reddit

Sorry for your loss

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Amazing-Treat-8706@reddit

Condolences.

I’m 48 and somehow no one in my current or last social circles have died yet. Each passing year I brace for it, it’s coming. On the one hand I’m luck to have this experience. On the other it means the first one(s) to go will be devastating as these relationships that have persisted are all extremely deep by now. Or it could be me. I could be the first.

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Inspi@reddit

43 is when I finally hit the realization that "holy hell, I'm now at the age that you hear about someone dieing, and everyone just assumes heart attack and moves on", that it isn't as much of a shock as it is at 30 or something.

Spent the last year slowly getting right with the docs after a decade of ignoring my regular checkups.

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Obsidianrunner@reddit

So sorry for your loss. 🙏🏾

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RightIzWrong@reddit

I’m sorry for you. But as a burned out 47 yr old, falling asleep and never waking up sounds delightful.

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EternalMehFace@reddit

Saaame. Sooo many worse ways to go. And as someone who watched her dad suffer on his deathbed in the hospital for a solid month before passing - yeah I so choose death while asleep.

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TwoDudesAtPPC@reddit

Dude I am so there. Take me TONIGHT.

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Ohmytripodtheory@reddit

Was he a radio talk show host?

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yesiamyam233203@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s tough- take care of yourself.

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Blackbird136@reddit

Do they know what happened? 🥺

I think the silver lining is at least he probably didn’t suffer much if any.

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RudeAmount9607@reddit

Sorry for your loss brother

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nothathappened@reddit

I’m so sorry. Grief is awful…feel what you feel.

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TonicArt@reddit

Im so sorry. Hugs to you❤️

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sinan_online@reddit

Really sorry for your loss. I lost a childhood friend just few months ago, too. Hadn’t spoken in a while…

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Sharpshooter188@reddit

Fuck man. Im so sorry. As Ive gotten older and begun seeing family and some friends pass.... it really hits you.

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PlatypusDependent271@reddit

Sorry for your loss. It's the best anyone could hope for though just drift off to sleep and not wake up.

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NewsgramLady@reddit

This, 100%.

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ObviouslyRealPerson@reddit

Same. My friend was 46, by all accounts he was perfectly healthy.

Just had our first BBQ last week since he's been gone. It was really weird with him not being there.

It's going to take a while for things to get back to usual

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ZipperJJ@reddit

Oof. That’s terrible bud. Peace to you.

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JessBx05@reddit

I unexpectedly lost a friend a couple of years ago. She was only 42. It was/is a shock. Sending my condolences. Be kind to yourself as you grieve.

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NewsgramLady@reddit

I'm 42 and it just seems so freaking young to die. My husband was 51 when he died not long ago, and that seemed too young. A few years ago, my 7-year-old cousin died.

Death is just so profound. It's weird how some people die so young, and some live to 90+.

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therempel@reddit

Sorry for your loss.

I have experienced loss as well, and something that has helped me process is this post on the nature of grief and how we can perservere.

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Edgarmustavas@reddit

Sorry, bud. Can relate. The memories keep them alive, if only in your mind.

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lirio2u@reddit

Wtf thats nuts- NUTS!!!! I am so sorry man. Thats awful in every fucking way. Have you had a chance to reach out to his family and mutual friends?

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EmmalouEsq@reddit

My husband (44) has lost 3 friends in the last year. 2 heart attacks and 1 drowning. We're too young for this. At least it feels like we are.

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No-Relation4226@reddit

That’s a tough loss, I’m sorry. Both for you and his wife. Hugs, friend.

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Hollybaby5@reddit (OP)

And for his parents. I think that part hurts the most. They are lovely people and we’re so proud of him.

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No-Relation4226@reddit

Oof, yeah no parent should have to bury their child.

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sombreropickle@reddit

Right at the turn of 40 is when I started to lose a couple of friends to liver disease and heart attacks. It really feels like a new chapter in life. So sorry for your loss.

Take care of yourself, everyone.

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Interesting_Tea_6734@reddit

So very sorry for your loss

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mattchewy43@reddit

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend since the 9th grade, 14 years ago. He was the best man and my first wedding and would have been in my second. Still hits me from time to time.

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Elexandros@reddit

I think we’re at the age where we’re starting to get hit with this…I remember seeing my dad at this age when he found out one of his close childhood friends passed suddenly. He didn’t know I could see him. My husband just had a similar moment late last year.

It’s not a gut punch…it’s something else. It’s startling and sobering at the same time. I’m so sorry you have that sudden blank spot in your life.

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William_Shaftner@reddit

This topic comes up often now in this sub (not a critique just an observation) and last time someone commented that we’re in the “sniper’s alley” age group now where ailments or congenital defects will rear their ugly head and we just drop.

That stuck with me… I’m trying to remember that and just enjoy my time with my family and friends. We truly never know.

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barley_wine@reddit

I had a co worker who lost his dad when his dad was only 47, back when I was 20 hearing that story 47 seemed so far away and now it’s almost here and I feel like life isn’t even that far along.

Life is just so short and it’s easy to blink and it’s over.

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pfunkpower@reddit

get your annual physical get colonoscopy at 45 if any fam history

my best bud died in his sleep two years ago at 46, saw them take him out of his house in a body bag on a stretcher. some things are just never going to be ok again. and you have to eventually find some peace with it all.

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almondtime@reddit

I’m sorry OP. If it was an aneurysm- I had a friend go the same way. Take care.

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nola_mike@reddit

Guy I grew up with simply dropped dead in the middle of a softball game. He was in his early 30s. Another friend died in his sleep just a few years later.

These things can and do happen to anyone at any time. It just sucks that as we get older it happens more frequently.

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FunksGroove@reddit

Sorry. That’s tough.

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59apache01@reddit

Sorry for your loss.

A good buddy who grew up down the street from me passed away unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at 40 a few years back. I hate to say it, but we're getting into the demographic where we're starting to bury some of our friends. I remember my dad losing his first longtime buddy in his 40s.

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oldmamallama@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss.

My best friend died in his sleep at 39 back in 2020. Undiagnosed heart condition. Worst day of my life aside from the day my mom died. Even 6 years later it’s still hard to believe he’s gone.

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Bropira@reddit

Sorry for your loss. Yeah mortality is starting to become very real now...friends getting older, parents even older. Sigh ...

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ssaall58214@reddit

Im so sorry for you. Same thing happened to me last year. 42 in sleep. Looked 30. Complete mind fuck.

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yodaface@reddit

I just got an email from a friend gf. She let me know he died in late 2023. She emailed me because I emailed him in 2024 asking what he was up to. I assumed since I moved away we just drifted apart and he never messaged me back. But he had a heart attack at 35. Ran marathons. Nicest guy in the world. It doesn't make sense.

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Sit_Ubu_Sit-Good_Dog@reddit

Sorry to hear that. Same thing happened to my college roommate when we were 38. It’s been five years and it still blows my mind.

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Jets237@reddit

Lost my sister a few months ago at 43 (cancer) it’s really devastating. I feel like we’re just figuring life out…

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MissaLynn_@reddit

So sorry for your loss man that's rough. We have lost so many we had a wonderful memorial at our 25 yr reunion last yr. Including my best friend since 1st grade who lost her battle to cancer. I now have 'funeral friends' and we really only see each other at funerals now. Getting older fucking sucks

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BlackPhoenix1981@reddit

Sorry for your loss. The good die doung unfortunately.

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DiscoNY25@reddit

I am sorry for your loss.

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BUT_FREAL_DOE@reddit

The drop dead years, so to speak.

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External-Praline-451@reddit

So sorry, that must be so shocking and upsetting. It's very sobering to think something like that could happen.

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TryFine317@reddit

Damn 😢

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GeetarEnthusiast85@reddit

I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy losing a loved one. For what it's worth, it sounds like you had a lot great times with each other.

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raikougal@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss. 🥺💔🫂 That's way too young. Only one year younger than me. Wow. 🥺 May you find peace. 🫂🫂🫂🫂

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Same-Manufacturer773@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss. I bet y’all had some gooooood times.

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SweetCosmicPope@reddit

Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a few and it always sucks.

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aliedle@reddit

Keeping you in my thoughts.

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-threefeetoffun@reddit

Up voting this because whoever downvoted is a fucking asshole

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Striking-Win-3239@reddit

That’s really sad. The last two years I have had two friends from high school pass away, 45 and 46. Really sad when they are that young.

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ny2flryan@reddit

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. There’s no magic words I can offer. It hurts deep and long, but it will get better. And eventually you’ll find yourself looking back on those memories with more joy for the times together than the heartache from the loss.

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