There’s a specific type of person in every wannabe tech org

They’ve never shipped anything but they’ve facilitated the conversation about shipping everything, they’ve reframed your urgent problem into a how might we statement, they’ve taken your sharp idea and workshopped it into something so thoroughly considered that it no longer does anything to anyone, and they’ve done all of this with such confidence and such good tooling that for a long time you couldn’t tell it wasn’t work. Their calendar is completely full and their output is completely invisible. They live in Miro and Jira and Confluence and teams. They genuinely look forward to meetings with dumb names like demand surgery or feasibility diagnosis, they are never blocked because being blocked requires having started something, which they haven’t, because that’s not really the job, the job is the process, the job is the ceremony, the job is making the room feel like progress is happening while the deadline gets closer and the thing remains unbuilt. The superiority is the whole point, the tools are expensive, the meetings are elaborate, the frameworks have names, and none of it has ever produced anything a real person has touched but god does it look good on a LinkedIn post about their “agile transformation journey.” AI is the first thing that’s genuinely threatened this whole ecosystem, not because it’s smarter than them but because it gave the keys to the person sitting next to them who actually wanted to make something and just couldn’t get past the gatekeeping long enough to do it, and that person shipped in three weeks what the Miro board had been dot voting on for nine months, and now everyone can see it, and the facilitator is still scheduling the retrospective on why it took so long.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​