Just been fired for the 7th time - Would seeing a career coach be beneficial?

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Slothjitzu@reddit

Eh, the mechanism might be different but the end result is the same. Your boss told you that you don’t have a job any more.

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CriticalCentimeter@reddit

The response you get in a future interview if you say you've been made redundant 6x as against been fired 6x is quite different

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Cultural-Ambition211@reddit

The difference is you legally can’t backfill it.

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

Change the role profile enough and you can.

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Well... I've known redundancy to be used to get rid of people without all the usual fuss. I worked for a facilities firm, they were awful at managing people, and we had this structural engineer on the firm who was an engineer by day and Elvis Presley impersonator. He had the hair and everything. He wasn't a serious person, he was also a lazy bastard. And he'd never been managed, so when it was time for him to go, as the only engineer on the firm, they simply made him redundant.

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Careless_Soup_109@reddit

To be fair, the BDM was developing a business....

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

His own business was Indian weddings. And those are big events. So you can imagine how much of his time was spent doing his actual job... Not very much. Lol, I really liked the fact that he simply didn't care, he'd sit there, laptop wide open tweaking his website or having video calls with couples who were planning a wedding.

I'm a carpenter, he paid me to come up to the workshop and make some signage for him, it was only ply, cut to size and primed. He paid me to do it on company time, so I got paid twice, it was great.

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Careless_Soup_109@reddit

How do you feel about AI? And does carpentry pay well?

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

Interesting question. I think some aspects of AI will overall be a benefit to us as a society, but I think companies as companies do will rely heavily on AI and it will take people's jobs.

Carpentry pays well if you want it to. I used to do agency work because that suited me at the time, also I enjoyed a small job here and a small job there. But the pay was ... Meh. I run my own building company now, we do "builders works" on commercial jobs, so generally structural alterations. It pays well and I pay my guys well. But it is a little bit more niche.

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the_tartanunicorn@reddit

need wayyy more information. what type of jobs and what were the reasons for not passing probation?

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

executive assistant roles supporting senior executives at large companies.

I was told that the reason I didn’t pass today is because I failed to build strong enough relationships within the team, even though I performed the role well.

The company changed my role two months in and gave me a new manager and new team, and ultimately the role evolved into something completely different than what I applied to. I’m naturally a bit of a shy person, and so being plucked from a team who I built a connection with and put into a completely different department where I knew nobody and wasn’t exactly welcomed was difficult but I was trying to build the relationships but they didn’t give me enough time and just decided to fail my probation.

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Internal_Lion_1836@reddit

this doesn’t make sense like at all.

they can’t fire you if you were doing your job well and you got along with the team

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Major_Bag_8720@reddit

They can fire you for any reason if you’ve been at the company for less than two years. OP will have been paid their notice and that will have been it.

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Pookie103@reddit

The law is actually changing from January 2027 to bring that down to 6 months! And it's backdated to roles starting 6 months before that date I believe, so essentially anyone hired from this June onwards will gain protection from unfair dismissal from 6 months not 2 years.

Just an FYI for anyone reading this that protections are changing very soon.

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mdmdmdmdmdmdmdmdmdm@reddit

Yo what

Man how badly did social media manipulation fucks us that were finally getting renters/workers rights and the dumbasses still think reform is the way forward

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cragglerock93@reddit

I believe the intial plan was protection from day 1 but they changed it to 6 months, which is the correct decision IMO.

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Pookie103@reddit

It's not really been in the news tbh, I only know because I'm hiring for a new team member right now!

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tmr89@reddit

It’s crazy how many people think probation has some special legal status

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pajamakitten@reddit

Possibly because failing it is quite rare in many places, so they have no experience of what happens when someone actually fails it.

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Major-Credit-2442@reddit

Yeah usually the only difference it may make is that notice periods might be extended after you pass probation, or perhaps other terms in the contract. I can’t remember that happening in any of my jobs though.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

So it wasn’t necessarily a bad team, I was trying to integrate with them but it was taking time.

I was given a new manager (he was new to the company too, joined 2 weeks after me) and unfortunately from the very beginning I think he had it out for me, as he refused to communicate with me and made it impossible for me to perform my role to the highest standard. There were also some issues around task delegation, as he wouldn’t involve me in key projects and communications that were pivotal to my role. So these issues had obviously got my back up and made me quite anxious.

I had absolutely no issues until the management change, I had a glowing review from my first manager. So it’s really unfortunate how this has played out.

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Brent_Goose@reddit

I'm sure some of this is true, but when it's the seventh time I really encourage you to think about what you did.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

Well obviously I am thinking about what I did? This entire post is me trying to reflect on myself.

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Quirky_Yak2181@reddit

unfortunately if you are on probation it is very common, as it is a lot easier for a company to let you go for essentially no reason, compared to if you are a fully fledged employee.

I used to be a super shy person and very introverted, it was only after a few years of bar work in a very rough pub (initiation of fire) that I grew some balls to chat to people, make connections and be more sociable. A lot of companies nowadays highly value a person’s social skills especially in office, due to companies trying to push for less WFH and regrow in office atmosphere.

OP I would recommend a career coach, if you think that would help you. If you contact your local GP they can put you in touch with mental health services that can assist with getting back to work and tips on how to present yourself - you do not have to be depressed or anxious or have BPD to use these services, they are here for everyone.

Being more social at work doesn’t necessarily mean becoming a completely different person or pushing yourself too far out of your comfort zone, but you can definitely get solid advice on how to make work work for you, and even offer job opportunities in some cases. Since you mentioned undiagnosed autism it would be worth getting that diagnosis because then you would be protected under the equal rights act, and if management has any issues with ‘personality’ as you have stated, you are in a much better position to challenge this and defend your position.

Also, you will find that a lot of workplaces run on a culture fuelled by toxicity and bad management, this negativity has a trickle down effect and it’s important to remember that even though you haven’t found the place for you yet, it is not an accurate representation of your skills or who you are as a person. Many people spend decades in jobs they hate with the archaic attitude of ‘just sucking it up’ but this is unhealthy and unsustainable and very likely to burn you out. It is better to run through 100 jobs short term until you find one that you actually enjoy, than to stay somewhere that mentally and physically drains you to exhaustion.

Good luck, and remember that it is savage in the jobseeking world right now, we are working in a system that is seemingly increasingly difficult to survive in.

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TachiH@reddit

You being a shy person yet applying for executive assistant roles seems at odds? Surely it is all about building an interpersonal relationship with the person, not just being a bot to do their tasks?

Either way companies seem to love not giving chances and just spending twice as much to try again with someone new, such a dumb business model.

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Major-Credit-2442@reddit

What about the other 6 times? How many of them were redundancies? It’s quite different if it was 2 rather than 5 for example.

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Honey-Badger@reddit

With all due respect..... If you're naturally shy why are you going into exec assistant roles? I don't know what industries we're talking about here but where I've worked this roles are exclusively for chatterbox going likeable people. They're essentially a nice face for an exec to put forwards

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whosUtred@reddit

As someone who works closely with corporate senior team staff, what they look for most is someone with confidence & gusto to get things done. Based on the short read of what you’re saying it sadly could just be that you don’t fit the bill. A lot of work at that level is high pressure for results, this weirdly doesn’t necessarily mean you need to know what you are doing but it does absolutely mean you need to collaborate closely with sometimes a large group of people who do & encourage them to work through solutions.

I’d say anything you can do to increase your confidence will be a great start, I don’t like saying it but that level don’t have time for anyone being shy.

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GlastoKhole@reddit

It could just be that they plucked you from your original team due to a larger reshape of the business that caused your role to essentially disappear. The not building relationships could be a cop out.

I think that from personal experience (I’m pretty outgoing so it may be a different experience for me entirely) that when you’re put into new environments if you make the right amount of effort(not too much not too little and you have to read people to gauge it) people will bend over backwards to keep you around, people more than anything want people who are easy to work with and who they enjoy the company of.

I’d argue you could be the best performing member of staff but if people feel uncomfortable around you, or uncomfortable checking in with you for things they will overlook you for something who’s less of a performer but more sociable.

Now this isn’t a 1 shoe fits all response because I’ve 100% worked with higher ups who are on the spectrum who are not sociable at all, but I try to make them feel comfortable and ask them about their interests still.

I’ve had hour long conversations about Pokémon with 50 year old men, I don’t like Pokémon but I do like turning over things for profit so shifted the conversation to things like how does grading work how do you get the best bang for buck and what to look for and you can tell they just feel more comfortable, but people try to talk to them about football and their heads fall off.

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Realistic-Pear5640@reddit

What about the other time? What's the number of sacking vs redundancy? 1 sacking and 6 redundancies is a very different story to 6 sacking and 1 redundancy

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LargeLetter1@reddit

If it’s any consolation at all, this happened to me at the start of my career. I was a PA to a director. I constantly felt like a square peg in a round hole, couldn’t cope with the stifling formality and was absolutely awful at diary management.

I went on to be a successful software engineer.

I hope these experiences don’t impact on your confidence too much. They were simply roles that weren’t right for you.

Best of luck in finding a new role that suits your skills

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Long-Woodpecker-1980@reddit

Do a belbin test

https://www.belbin.com/resources/free-belbin-test-looking-for-a-free-team-roles-test

Might make you think a little about what sort of role might fit you better

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Specialist-North6842@reddit

Hey OP, I’m also an EA and a big introvert, but I wouldn’t say it’s held me back. I haven’t been especially close with the execs I’ve supported, but we’ve always had a solid working relationship, and I do my job well—so my performance has never really been questioned.

Small talk in the office and work socials aren’t my thing either, but I still make an effort to engage with people. Even when I don’t have much to add, I’ll join in, laugh along, or show interest in what others are talking about—kids, pets, whatever comes up.

That said, having failed probation or been made redundant seven times by age 30 does suggest there may be a deeper issue at play. It might be worth considering whether this role is the right fit long-term. I get that the pay can make it hard to walk away, but it could be time to think about pivoting into something that suits you better.

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IT_ISNT101@reddit

Hi..

So I am diagnosed Autistic (but in reality is more AuDHD) and I can empthasise. When I was diagnosed many years ago the tests where mega expensive and luckly work paid for it but now you can get an officially recognised test for under £1000.

That diagnosis saved my job at least once so I would say it is worth it if you can afford it. Also... When you are in work there is a dedicated team that is designed to help you stay in work called Access to Work (https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work) and they can help you and your employer work better. They do also have grants available for any adaptions you may need to stay in work.

Hope that helps.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

Hey thank you so much. I’m definitely going to look into this further as I really need support. My only worry is if I do get a diagnosis and I get a new job, if I disclose that I’m neurodivergent I’m worried there will be a ‘red flag’ upon me and make it even easier for them to get rid of me (I know neurodivergence is a protected characteristic but realistically they can mask it as another reason). Or am I just being paranoid?

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IT_ISNT101@reddit

I declare it when I go for a job. Doesnt seem to be an issue BUT you can tell them AFTER they employ you, which may be better in your scenario

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momentograms@reddit

I would say yes, if you struggle this may not be the right line of work. I would 100% recommend a career coach. My partner worked with one and it changed their live and their work. I can send you a chat with a recommendation. I would say do a call with any coach you're thinking of working with first (this should be free) and see if you would work well together. That way you know you're not wasting money on a random person. Make sure they have some certifications and actually have a background in coaching instead of just calling themselves a coach.

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cheerfulviolet@reddit

Having read some of your follow-up comments I think that the EA work just isn't for you. I'm like you, self-diagnosed autism and ADHD, LOVE doing events but just can't deal with people all day every day. I like doing weeks of the behind the scenes stuff and then doing two days of events. Or a couple of events a week and then the rest is I'm sitting behind the computer. But equally can't just sit behind the computer all day as that would bore me to tears. Being an EA would be too much people time with not enough solo time to balance it out.

I'm also brilliant at interviews for the same reason I'm great at being on during events, it's like a short-term performance with a clear role to fulfil. But building relationships is very hard and often just doesn't work for me.

If you're good at the admin side I'd try and find something that's more weighted in that area.

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Troll_berry_pie@reddit

Have you had a ADHD assessment?

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

No I’ve not had any assessment. I just called and booked a GP appointment for two weeks time to explore this. I’m ready to make a change and get support

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PlusNeedleworker5605@reddit

I think i would be asking myself this question long before I got to the 7th sacking. Sounds like you a problem.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

I did ask myself this question years ago but I ignored it and kept going for the same jobs because I liked the money and I thought it was something I could fix. No need to be rude.

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xsarahsocksx@reddit

You don't have to claim benefits to ask for work searching support at the Jobcentre. Or you can reach out to the National Careers Service, they are both government funded. I think you should speak to your doctor, the diagnosis process is very long but knowing if you do have Autism may help you understand yourself better.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

Thank you

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DreamJobConsultant@reddit

I think you need to find out what skills you have and swtich into a career/industry/role that you are passionate about and love being in to gain great results and performance.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

I’m passionate about music and live events, but when I finally got my dream job (EA at a major record label), I failed my probation there too.. the reason I was given was ‘personality mismatch’ between the exec and myself.

For further info this exec was a psycho and was notorious for being difficult to work for so at the time although it hurt I didn’t take it too personally. But now looking back it may have been a similar thing to all the others.

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RegularPie5512@reddit

I am autistic and struggled all my life in employment. You're not alone. I'm smart, capable, friendly, degree educated etc, but being "on" all day drains me to such an extent that I would normally make myself ill, and be incapable of any self care outside of work.

I've had over 20 jobs in my life, now 40 years old. Finally settled managing a Library a few years back, after having jobs ranging from English teacher, postman and hgv driver.

Even my current job is draining, but just about doable in comparison. Not gonna lie to you, work life just might be difficult for you if you're autistic, but there are jobs out there that will work for you. Just keep trying and looking.

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deadeyes1990@reddit

Honestly, I don’t think you’re broken. But I do think something is clearly not working, and it’s worth looking at the pattern properly rather than just beating yourself up after every job.

A career coach might help, but I’d avoid the very generic “believe in yourself / fix your CV” type. You need someone who can actually dig into what keeps going wrong in the role itself — the social side, managing upwards, reading expectations, dealing with ambiguity, all of that stuff.

It might also be that EA work just isn’t the right fit for you, even if you’re technically capable of doing it. Some jobs ask for constant social performance, and if that’s the bit that drains you or trips you up, no amount of trying harder is going to make it feel natural.

I’d write down the feedback you’ve had from each job and look for the recurring theme. Not in a “what’s wrong with me?” way, more in a “what keeps happening here?” way.

And yes, I’d maybe look for a coach or therapist who understands workplace stuff and neurodivergence, even if you’re not diagnosed with anything. You don’t need to label yourself to get useful help.

Seven times is a lot, but it’s also data. Painful data, obviously. But still data.

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Defiant-Yellow-2375@reddit

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Sandy_Bananas@reddit

I’m a walking nightmare and have only been fired once - after going on a 4 day lsd bender and failing to turn up to work.

You’ve ultimately said that you present well at first, but then they find you out… friend, it’s time for you to look for a different type of job

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flippertyflip@reddit

Redundancy isn't the same as being fired. Like at all.

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Drew-666-666@reddit

I've been in similar situations also not sure whether I'm on the spectrum but I am confident and back myself. I just don't fit in corporate BS I hated 121s especially if arbatrey targets and it's more about being pals with line manager who doesn't have a scubies and award bonuses to their mates or the ones that operate 10/80/10 - 10% promotion, 80% stay 10% demoted... Crabs in a bucket being dragged back down by co workers just to make some guy richer...

Do you what, I got out of office work and now working as a postie, yeah it's dead end, no progression but also zero stress , I go in, do my bit, go home ... No 121 performance/progress reviews , fresh air , no wriggling mouse around pretending to be busy or clock watching, I work my own hours Flexi time come in when I want within reason work until I've had enough (I'm on a PT 25hr contract but will do 30-40 hrs a week when I want) no office politics or anything. Makes me laugh when other colleagues say how stressful it is... It isn't they just put pressure on themselves. I do occasionally think about going back but I don't see point, I'm content.

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coinsntings@reddit

Are you a woman? Not that it hugely matters, but on the undiagnosed front it's more common in women and masking behaviours (and acing interviews but not necessarily the role) may apply?

I think a diagnosis may be more beneficial than a coach. And even if a diagnosis yields nothing then leaning into your strengths might help? Aka less social roles?

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LzzrdWzzrd@reddit

If you think youre autistic and it's affecting yohr ability to work, get your ass through the diagnostic process so you can be protected by the equality act and occupational health/reasonable adjustments.

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strangey071@reddit

Just a thought, but have you always been sacked or failed probation for the same issues, do you enjoy the type of work your doing? We need more info

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

I think ultimately I really struggle with the people/social aspect in the workplace. It doesn’t come down to my skills or my work. I think I struggle to understand how to ‘play the game”. When speaking with a close friend about my work situations he said that I probably come across as aloof and as if I don’t like people, when that’s not the case at all. I’m just not an extroverted person and in group settings I’m really quite shy.

I don’t particularly enjoy the role - but it’s all I’ve done since I left education and I’ve built up an impressive cv (although obviously have had to tell white lies to explain short stints and gaps) and have managed to get to a decent salary level so I’m finding it difficult to pivot away from that.

I really just feel quite stuck and lost as to what I’m meant to do for work as the cycle keeps repeating itself.

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Ok_Aioli3897@reddit

So why are you picking roles where this is going to be the main aspect of the job

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The_2nd_Coming@reddit

This lol. It's probably the most important skill for that type of role, and I imagine it's not easy unless you are naturally good at it and somewhat enjoy it.

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

You do have a point. Like I said it’s all I’ve ever done, but I’m finally questioning whether it’s the right fit for me given that this keeps happening.

Also it’s not as if these issues appear straight away. Things always seem great at first and then it goes downhill. I always think the next one will be different but then it turns out exactly the same.

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littleboo2theboo@reddit

I interviewed for a pa position and I realised that I was completely unsuited to the social aspect. Things like arranging the Christmas party etc I hate stuff like that.

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ancientspacewitch@reddit

Coming from a diagnosed autistic woman... get that test. Seriously.

Things always seem great at first and then it goes downhill.

This really stood out to me. I worked a lot of customer/stakeholder facing roles before my diagnosis. Every one would go the same way - my employers were enamoured with me in the beginning because I was masking at 110%. Then within a few months I would burn out because no one can maintain that level of effort forever, my relationships suffered, I become isolated from the team and eventually I couldn't take it any more and quit.

I think you are probably right to question if that sort of role is really for you. There are plenty of jobs and careers out there that don't have such high social expectations.

Ironically the best roles I've ever worked were bartending gigs because you can get away with being a little blunt and brisk, but I still got to practice my social skills.

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blinky84@reddit

Seconding this, also diagnosed. A supportive environment really makes a difference, too, and you're likely not going to find it in a role where your presence and appearance counts.

It sounds to me like OP is an excellent organiser and problem solver, and is looking at roles where that matters - but it's also depending on their personal presentation, and that's where the struggle occurs.

I wonder if a WFH assistant role might be good, maybe Virtual Assistant work.

Lexxic was really great when I was struggling with a previous employer. I ended up leaving on mutual terms before they actually implemented any of the suggestions, but their service is really great. It's focussed at employers supporting existing employees, though.

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Ay-Up-Duck@reddit

Did you access their service through your job, or did you have to pay out of pocket and then share support plan woth your employer?

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blinky84@reddit

No, they paid up front, thankfully. It was an occupational health recommendation.

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ancientspacewitch@reddit

I got my diagnosis through Lexxic at my old job! They were really great.

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blinky84@reddit

Hey! That's awesome! How did your employer take their information? I ended up leaving because three months later they were still like 'yeah we'll arrange a meeting to discuss' and still hadn't read it, but the actual contents of the report seemed really useful if it had been taken on board.

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ancientspacewitch@reddit

That is a shame. For me not all of their suggestions were workable but the role itself was already very suitable (hybrid working, solo technical work, flexible hours) and the org itself has established neurodiversity policies. I am still there actually just now in a different role. I do feel quite lucky as I know not everywhere is so amenable.

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blinky84@reddit

I'm really glad! This was a very old-fashioned and misogynistic workplace, and I'm pretty sure they were either paying lip service to it or thinking that it was for Lexxic to tell me what to do differently to fit in. Really toxic workplace, I had some PTSD kind of reactions in my next job.

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lost_send_berries@reddit

It sounds like you get a warm welcome at each place in the hopes that you warm up as you say you're shy. Therefore you think there's no issues and are surprised when you are laid off.

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Galaxy135@reddit

I work with someone who is autistic. Started out as a team assistant and is now working at a higher level. It took years for them to get there and they doubt themselves every day as to their ability but with reassurance, guidance and supervision from those of us that believe in her, she trusts us and it’s going very well

It was a long process and has happened due to the people I work with. We know her, have her back and she is amazing at the job. If it was 2020 to now with her starting out I strongly think she would have been let go or sidelined but as it is, we were fully office based together for a long time before Covid and wfh / hybrid. This really helped us all get to know each other.

She tells me how she masks certain things which I’ve encouraged her not to and we all have a laugh, tell her how great she is and we understand and agree to disagree with her on more random things she says.

I think you could have been unlucky with not having 5 days a week in an office for a period of time so people can get to know you for who you are. Also, as much as it kills me to say this, the smallest shy smile at someone does help even if you don’t feel like striking up a conversation. Manners are always good too - please, thank you etc.

Also go above and beyond where you can in your next place. Don’t wait to be told to do something. Ask what you can do to help and how you can learn.

Good luck!

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Snoo_85580@reddit

If your extremely introvert then doing something like a PA job is probably quite hard. A lot of us just fake it and do the social interaction if it draining as that half of the job really. Don’t think a career coach can tell you much more really.

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Careless_Soup_109@reddit

I would suggest being an Exec Assistant is nearly all people and admin skills. You'd need both.

OP, I advise a career change.

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PrimeWolf101@reddit

Honestly it's going to sound like too simple a fix, but you should read How to Win Friends and Influence people. It's not some generic self help book, it's just a load of really practical simple things you implement in your interactions with people to make them think positively about you. People talk about 'the unwritten rules of social interactions they don't understand', but they are written, they are in that book and they are not complex.

It's things like 'use peoples names when possible', 'ask people questions about themselves'. We like to think we are very complicated but we aren't, you can totally hack social interactions.

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sixe6throwaway@reddit

I think you’re in the wrong job mate. EA roles need people who can communicate with senior people easily and can do what they ask amongst other things you’ll know. You could go to a career coach but I’d also think about other skills or interests and try to find a role you can grow into and learn

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littleboo2theboo@reddit

I agree with this

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Philluminati@reddit

On the positive side - you've gotten the job 7 times. You should be a pro by now 😄

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

I can ace interviews 😂 getting a job easy, keeping the job however…

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littleboo2theboo@reddit

I have a friend just like you. You might even be my friend. She has recently been let go three times in a row.

I would say that she is a lovely sweet girl but very over enthusiastic and an over sharer. In the grey corporate world I can see how she would grate on others and would fall foul of office bitchiness.

Blending in at work socially and doing your job well are important. Don't want to stick out too much and irritate others.

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luala@reddit

Career coach is more about holding you accountable and planning a career move or development in a role. I suspect you need more of a therapist, or a diagnosis of you maybe be NNT. Maybe start with the autism society website - diagnosis is just the start, getting support would be the next step.

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summerloco@reddit

How many were redundancies

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IkeTurn@reddit

Have you thought about doing remote work like a Virtual assistant type role? May not be great money, but at least it'll be some money.

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Thekennelly@reddit

There doesn't seem to be a huge amount of actual advice here, 7 times is a lot, even with redundancies, often these are opportunities to let go staff that fit in less well.

Reading between the lines it seems you're shy and struggling to develop decent connections within the environment.

My biggest tips for making connections would be;

Say good morning/ Hi - with a smile to everyone you see for the first time that day (don't exclude anyone, cleaner, CEO, beggar, that person who makes your job hard). Make an effort to pop your head in to your closest colleagues first thing - try your best to learn people's names. It makes a massive difference when people know your face as a happy one, rather than making up conclusions for themselves.
Try to chat to your colleagues as much as possible, remember what they say, and follow up later. When you're making a cup of tea, a simple, 'happy Friday, have you got anything planned for the weekend?' and follow up on Monday asking how it was and showing you remember will pay dividends. Eat lunch where the others do rather than on your own, and enjoy the conversation.
Try to be as helpful to colleagues as possible, regardless of how awkward they're being, often by being helpful you're able to get them to like you and in turn make your life easier. Even that new boss that didn't like you, as difficult as it is, if you keep trying your best and pretending you don't notice, chances are you'll win him over, particularly if everyone else likes you too.
Avoid getting caught up too much in the moaning conversions, everyone comes away feeling bad and it's a slippery slope. Try to change the subject, or dip out as soon as possible. Usually the boys knows the moaners and it can be good to keep your distance for the optics.
Be honest regarding your work, if you can't do something because you're busy, say, if you're not sure, say. If you need help, say that you'll try, but you might need some guidance if you get stuck. If you make a mistake, be the first to hold your hands up say that you've cocked something up. People always appreciate this kind of honesty.

Do these things from day one, and don't stop. It makes an unbelievable difference when you have people around you who like you, and you know well enough to ask for help. It may not come naturally, but the smallest things make a massive difference.

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mokoe101@reddit

It might not be your fault, but it is your responsibility. Even if it isn’t something you’re doing intentionally, ultimately it is only you that loses out if you can’t hold down a job. I had a shit childhood and it made me a fucking nightmare to work with, and I felt justified to be that way because it wasn’t my fault that I’d had to go through that, but I realised no one else could fix it for me and if I ever wanted to own a home or have nice things I had to sort myself out.

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silverblossum@reddit

A fair proportion of CEO's/directors are narcissistic. It's not a trait that gels with managing autistic people because we are hard to read, ask unexpected questions, miss the answer they were trying to direct us to, less likely to play the game (flattery etc) and think outside the box. I've had amazing working relationships with directors who appreciated my qualities and we've had the perfect synergy, and some of the most stressful jobs of my life with narcissistic directors who didn't like me. I've found little in between!

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FlippinBiffa@reddit

Get your GP to refer you to WORKWELL. And apply via gov website to Access To Work funding for a job coach who can support you retain a role.

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SaveOurPandas@reddit

Write out a list of your skillset and elements of work your perform well then ask AI for jobs or sectors that might suit. It isn’t perfect but gives you a starting point. Focus on your strengths then when looking at job descriptions and person specs consider the difficulties to make a decision about if it’s worth applying. Just because this so far is all you know it doesn’t mean it’s all you ever have to do. You will have lots of transferrable skills too.

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Dear_Tangerine444@reddit

I wouldn’t count being made redundant as ‘being fired’, it’s not really based on anything you personally did. Failing to pass a probation period though is.

I only know of one person who failed their probation period at any of the places I’ve ever worked. It should have been explained to you very clearly, each time, why this happened? Whatever the reason(s) was, they should also have been addressed long before your final meeting.

You need to have a very clear understanding of why you failed your probation periods at multiple jobs. If you change career paths without doing so you’ll just likely end up just replicating what ever it was that caused you to fail probation but in a new career.

I appreciate you if don’t want to say what that is on the internet, but a career coach will almost certainly ask.

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Alert-Top6812@reddit

I recently had a career coaching session…with Meta AI (mic drop). It was much more valuable than the career coaching session I paid £70 to a human for

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Boring-Equivalent315@reddit

Are you the person who posted recently about your upcoming probation review meeting with HR involved?

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Chance-Bread-315@reddit

I'd suggest looking into autism diagnosis first and then get some career coaching/support tailored to that. I have adhd and you can get coaching paid for through the govts access to work scheme.

It might be that the wait time for an autism diagnosis is really long, in which case you might want to do a few sessions sooner to get things moving, but if you're confident you could be autistic try and find someone with experience of that bc you'll probably have some pretty specific issues that are very relevant to work.

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Severe_Mastodon8072@reddit

Yeah. OP I know not everyone wants/needs a diagnosis, but if you’re experiencing serious difficulties that may be related to autism + you want support with them… Then it may be worth trying to get an assessment.

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Slow_Mix5034@reddit

Maybe a neurodiversity coach instead

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SpectreSingh89@reddit

I been fired for under performing due to certain issues. I was not focused cause of these NON existing factors: Am I slow? Am I being watched? OMG quickly get the work done (poor quality of my job). I been fired from soldering factory, security TWICE and a manufacturing comp. FOUR times I been fired.

What is your workplace / field and do u have same problems as me?

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rohepey@reddit

Maybe your character predisposes you more to boss roles, not those of a subordinate? That's a common reason for getting fired.

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GuybrushFunkwood@reddit

Try breaking the cycle. When you get your next job immediately quit. I’d like to see them fire you then!

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gigglesmcsdinosaur@reddit

Are there any civil service vacancies near you? Civil Service Jobs has a search facility. The pay isnt great but it is nigh on impossible to be sacked unless you commit gross misconduct.

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PetersMapProject@reddit

Have you considered self employment?

It's a lot more flexible, and truth be told there's a lot of people who are self employed because having a boss just doesn't suit them (or they don't suit bosses, take your pick).

Might involve a bit of a career change - being an EA possibly doesn't translate directly - but it's an option to explore.

If you have an idea, the Kings Trust has a fantastic Enterprise programme, though you'd need to get on it before your next birthday as 30 is the cutoff.

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Mysterious-Sock39@reddit

Any more information, maybe that's why you fired, just some bland post with no information

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English_R0se@reddit (OP)

lol

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Chance-Bread-315@reddit

Yep deffo got fired bc of this reddit post

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m1nkeh@reddit

Well, what is the line of work, and what is your personality?

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ResplendentBear@reddit

Redundancy isn't getting fired. Redundancy can be anything from a way to ship out bad employees, to OK people getting canned by cost-cutting, to great employees made redundant because the whole firm goes under.

So I'd focus on the time where the redundancy has hit you as part of a small group, or you failed probation. What caused those? What are the common links?

I'm not sure anyone can say one way or another if a career coach would help without a lot more information.

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Individual-Flow9158@reddit

That sucks, Rose - my sympathies.

Make a new post giving people more information elsewhere, including the number of times you didn't pass probation, and someone will probably figure it out for free, without you paying a huge amount, to learn something obvious

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ArtisticWatch@reddit

More information is needed!

Why didn't you pass probation? What kind of work are you in?

I've been fired before and it absolutely sucked but I didn't really vibe with the whole work place (it was dinghy warehouse with cramped offices type place. Very clichy old people)

I pulled myself out of the rut, did some self reflection and got a new job a few weeks later.

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Macrihanishautomatic@reddit

I’ve been fired from multiple jobs. I consider it a sign of character.

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PikachuuuCSGO@reddit

Your d*ck is just too small to be a pornstar.

If you provide more info about your situation then we can give you more applicable suggestions.

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EntirelyRandom1590@reddit

What role?

What reasons?

Why do you want to keep doing the same thing?

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BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit

What line of work are you in? Ask yourself it really aligns with your general way of doing things and how you interact.

You could see a career coach but, not be blasé, unless you have substantial savings I would save your money and look to yourself first.

Does your unemployment amount to you being in dire straits? Will you be making a claim with the jobcentre? If yes, you might be better to utilise their resources and really take the time to look at what is going to be better suited to you.

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Milam1996@reddit

9-5 never fit me. Felt like I never had time off so I would rush things at work to get home early and that just spiraled. Do shifts now and get more time off and going much better

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nonoanddefinitelyno@reddit

You have a "working style" - would it be presumptuous to assume your employer has suggested you amend this "working style" to fit their working practices and that you politely demurred?

If so, that number 7 is going to keep increasing.

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OneDay_OneLife@reddit

What points did they list for you to fail your probation? Most employers simply want hard work and respectful individuals... especially during probation.

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RaiLau@reddit

Did you get any feedback on why? Or are you able to ask the last employer so that you can work on improving the areas they felt lacking?

Is it not being a team player or is it not being able to do the work to the required standard? If it’s the latter might be the right thing to do to see a career coach to see what you can do with your key skills.

Sorry you’re going through this!

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