Lack of respect
Posted by No_Competition_9238@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 46 comments
Hi all, I’m having issues with a couple of our drivers. I took over operations of my father’s trucking company about a year and 9 months ago. He made me the CEO.
I have worked with men the majority of my life and prefer it. I’ve never had issues.
I’m a 40 year old woman.
I previously ran a commercial HVAC service department and had 5 service technicians. I got along great with all of them and had mutual respect. This is not the case since I changed careers. Our previous operations manager was so awful (female in her 50’s) she was driving away drivers, customers, and not great to work with. Her son became our dispatcher and he wasn’t any better than her! They both treated my father like crap.
I am very protective over him due to so many people taking advantage of him my entire life. I have restructured the business and organized how we operate. My goal is to make operations run efficiently and to help make others lives easier if I can. My Dad has a hard time saying no and is a bit of a pushover. I however, am not. I’m fair and reasonable but I don’t allow people to push boundaries. Here’s the problem…
The old operations manager quit when I stepped in, as she quit like once a month. Her son, didn’t respect me from the get go.
An owner operator treated me like crap. I had my father on the line so he could hear it first hand. Our replacement dispatcher who’d never met me also had an attitude towards me for no reason. They are all gone now, for the good. I have a couple of drivers who talk down to me or just try and intimidate me constantly. I get “tattled” on for not answering their phone calls as I’m busy but respond with a text saying I’ll call them back. I’m so tired of the lack of respect!!!! My father has had my back most of the time but he doesn’t understand it’s like! What in the hell do I do besides firing the A holes?! I will not put up with this nonsense!!!!! I don’t get it. Any advice would be appreciated.
yak_danielz@reddit
i would suggest putting a buffer between yourself and drivers/employees. have a designated handler for these guys who deals on their level. it seems you have a close family environment but maybe some of that needs to change.
heavyramp@reddit
There’s no specific examples from OP, so that’s a red flag right there. And it being a smaller company that is based on dad handing over the keys to the daughter, I’m guessing it’s not hazmat. Hazmat or anything in LTL, especially with cam cameras and billions in revenue have protocols for everyone and everything.
Is it hauling and delivering to grocery DCs? That’s not a day hours operation, and is 24/7 and demands business problems to be solved 24/7.
Is the company a 3PL that handles picking up the slack from other companies that are short handed or on short term contracts? Obviously these attitudes will be different that dealing with business relationships that are 10 years plus old.
There’s other things to consider as well, such as owner operators and otr drivers get more leeway than local day cab drivers due to the demands of the harsh lifestyle requirements
Jayes1031@reddit
Hey OP,
Fellow female here reading your post and then responses, I alone can feel your frustration. I’ll add that you do come off as authoritarian maybe without realizing it? I understand how it feels to be a female in a male dominated career, but you’re flexing your authority in the wrong areas.
Change isn’t easy for most, it takes time. Have more compromise, put their shoes on and show you understand from their view. You deserve respect but sometimes it’s not always given right away it’s earned.
Empty-Associate-9730@reddit
man the trucking industry can be rough with the old boys club mentality. sounds like you inherited some real pieces of work along with the business
i dealt with similar stuff in military - some guys just can't handle taking orders from women, especially when they're used to your dad being more lenient. the testing phase is brutal but once you establish yourself it usually gets better
couple things that worked for me: document everything these problem drivers do wrong, even small stuff. gives you paper trail when you need to let them go. also make sure your policies are crystal clear in writing so they can't claim they didn't know the rules
the phone thing is actually good leverage - if they're complaining about you not answering immediately, you can point out that professional communication works both ways and they need to respect your time too. maybe set specific hours for non-emergency calls
your dad backing you is huge but he needs to be consistent about it in front of drivers. mixed messages will kill your authority fast. these guys are probably hoping if they make enough noise he'll override your decisions
firing the worst ones might actually help - sends message to others that there are real consequences. good drivers who respect you will probably be relieved to see the troublemakers go
JOliverScott@reddit
Agree with all of this.
Kershaws_Tasty_Ruben@reddit
There’s two way of looking at this.
And, I don’t know anything about your company culture or your personal approach to employee relations. So, please keep this in mind while you read through the rest of this.
There’s a saying, if you wake up in the morning and you run into a jerk then, you’ve run into a jerk. But, if you wake up and everyone you meet is a jerk well, then, maybe you’re the jerk.
Now, having made the disclaimer before there’s a very good chance you’re not a jerk.
If that’s the case then you’re going to have to start from scratch.
You’re going to need to cull the herd of people who don’t align themselves with your company culture. Some of it will be organic meaning they will leave on their own accord but, some will have to be fired.
All that being said, the responsible company executive should, unless faced with egregious behavior give their employees a chance to modify their behavior.
After the employee has been notified that their behavior is unacceptable.
In your post you recognized that you’ve restructured the business. Give people a chance to operate in the new structure.
I wish you success in your business.
JOliverScott@reddit
I will second this and add that if your dad had this company for many years then it seems like you may already be aware of the temperament of truck drivers so the key will be (to a certain degree) reaching them on their wavelength but making sure they are getting with the new program. Especially if they're older men, who are kind of like old lions, they are used to their autonomy, set in their ways, and roar a lot. You don't necessarily have to justify changes you decide to make but explain them thoroughly and then give people the opportunity to pivot towards them or voluntarily separate from the organization. Termination should be the last resort but if it comes to that don't lose any sleep over it if you've given plenty of opportunity for them to join the new direction.
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
Thank you for that! Not everyone I meet/talk to is a jerk. But, there’s always that one person that you have to work with that’s not so great to work with-in every job I feel. Drawing a hard line here is what it’s coming down to. Either follow company policy and procedures or leave. I have no time for ignorance that’s for sure. I’m just baffled as to why these guys think their behavior is acceptable. I enjoy working with men mostly. This one has definitely been a challenge since stepping into this role- one I’ve never encountered before and I question what I’m doing wrong.
Ayasdad@reddit
Yeah OP is the jerk. One of those types that you can immediately tell looks at you as beneath her. Good luck running a trucking company into the ground lady. Or start paying out the ass to keep those trucks occupied.
slyguy929229@reddit
Quit fucking with them before it blows up in your face. No one is gonna kiss your ass in this job so lower your expectations.
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
I don’t expect anyone to kiss my ass. I do expect drivers to stay in compliance. Calling me all the time for non emergency reasons and giving me an attitude for enforcement of said compliance is wasting my time. Especially coming from a driver who isn’t pulling the revenue that should be. Is asking to be treated with respect that much to ask for? I’m running a business not a daycare. All I’m saying is it’s not okay to treat me like your mom or wife. (For those who treat them like shit). I don’t mess with anyone. I just want them to do their job and it’s more than just holding a steering wheel.
Kasheem21@reddit
“I’m running a business not a daycare but also they communicate with me too much”
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
That is a thing. Unless it’s an accident, DOT issue, an emergency or something that cannot wait, can be communicated by text or email. I’m busy and giving me an attitude because I’m not allowing someone to try and control or intimidate me is apparently the reason I’m being chewed up? I take care of business, I’m not a therapist or a punching bag. Tough crowd to say the least.
Kasheem21@reddit
You’re being chewed up cuz you have an enormous ego and think you’re doing gods work while belittling the day to day work of your employees. Take a step back and objectively read your replies throughout here with the perspective of someone without full context of your life/career. Every paragraph reeks of someone that thinks very little of anyone else cuz they are so full of themselves/their immediate family.
KoalaOfTheApocalypse@reddit
Probably not a good idea to prefer text/email communication with people operating 18 wheeled death machines going down the road. Food for thought...
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
Too many are missing the point. Everyone needs to be professional and respectful. Apparently it’s too much to ask for. However people communicate-just don’t be a Richard. Period.
DimensionalAxolotl@reddit
You're wanting someone who should be driving... tough send a text or email? When an issue would be resolved in under 5 minutes with hands free communication?
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
They aren’t driving 24/7! Come on now.
DimensionalAxolotl@reddit
Yea, no shit. But if someone is calling about an issue, its solid reasoning that they're trying to keep rolling. Not sit around waiting for someone to email them back
MostlyUseful@reddit
First thing to get through your head is that running a HVAC service and running a trucking company are as different as night and day. You show no empathy for your drivers. When a driver is having an issue, a text stating, “I’ll call you back”, isn’t helping the issue they are having. Remembers that without them, you don’t have a company. Fire them and replace them…that’s a can of worms you don’t want to open. Just because your dad ran this company doesn’t mean you know jack all about trucking. It’s time for you to learn. You also need to learn some skills that will help you deal with people. Get a ladder and climb down off that high horse chica. If you don’t, you’ll tank that company quicker than you can imagine. For the record, this isn’t some dude talking down to you, this is a female that’s been in your shoes.
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
For the record. I’m not on some high horse. The fires I’ve put out since taking over- are huge. I’ve poured my blood, sweat and tears into this. I do respect our drivers. I just don’t have the time or energy to be constantly under-minded by people who take advantage of my father or put our company in jeopardy by their negligence. I can handle situations that most cannot. The point is, there are men who disrespect me for no reason whatsoever other than that I’m trying to organize and protect our business. I’d rather fix the issues than fire. Too many of these types have almost cost us the business so I’m not going to let that happen going forward. I’m just not going to be a cunt about getting my point across like the previous person in somewhat of my position was. Getting everyone on the same page has been a challenge. I’m humbled and persistent.
Riyeko@reddit
Can you give me a bit more info on the policies their violating?
Who's putting the company in jeopardy through negligence? What is the negligence?
The_Okay_Baboo@reddit
From what I've read so far, I would probably work for you and not work for her. She seems exhausting to deal with.
KoalaOfTheApocalypse@reddit
Have you tried just flat out telling people? Watch Thai, OK, watch :
Your attitudes and actions are pretty disrespectful towards me. I'm not sure why you think it's OK, but it's not. I'm going to need professionalism and compliance from you or we'll have to revisit our arrangement. We cannot run a successful business with employees undermining leadership at every turn.
Poof, now it's all out in the open and things have been made clear to the relevant parties. It's like a 2 minute task.
Redsoxdragon@reddit
So here's the thing with what you're saying. Things have been working well for these guys. They're getting paid, the company's making money and they're comfortable. No matter how you spin it, the company's "needs" will never top their wants. Especially with old heads, new person comes in and shakes things up, it's a tale as old as time, shit gets worse.
You will not change the culture of your current drivers. Theyre set in them, it works, they don't like change.
You either nudge them out and hire new drivers, or leave them be. Unless you're 110% sure you can replace them, dont mess with them. you have reliable employees, just not likeable ones and there's no guarantee the replacements will be as reliable. Bills come first, fuck your pride
Your attitude sucks and not only can they pick up on it, new hires will pick up on it too. Ceo? Really? You ain't running blackrock. Call yourself the manager and get off your high horse. Call these guys assholes? Your dad built his empire with those assholes. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, ask what your dad did right. Making the guys who are making you money happy isn't taking advantage of you. You got rampant bitch vibes just on this post alone
Riyeko@reddit
Even as a woman drive I'm getting bitch vibes.
Everyone hates her? Why? There's going to be growing pains when any company, regardless of industry, takes on new leadership.
Coming in and wanting to change everything up... This ain't my first time on Reddit and it's amazing the amount of stories I read on here from employee perspective where this exact thing happens, and then everyone leaves and the company falls apart.
OP I suggest you go over to Best of Redditor Updates and look for the Ask a Manager posts. Read through a few of them
Unfair-Variety-995@reddit
“Old Boys Club” warning should have been your number one.
MostlyUseful@reddit
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times.
ChiTruckDGAF@reddit
Have you earned their respect? From their perspective it seems like you were just handed the keys to the business and are a nepo baby.
laurie483@reddit
And also came in and changed a bunch of stuff. Imagine having years of experience and then some newby comes in and tells you how to do your job
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
Well you can’t run paper logs on an ELD required truck. You have to learn as technology advances. I don’t make all of the rules I just get to enforce them and apparently be the brunt of it all. When you get put on a conditional rating due to past employees-time for some changes. I turned our rating around and it wasn’t easy. All the changes I’ve made are for the better and to run more efficiently. In this case you have to teach the old dogs new tricks, but they shouldn’t bite the hand that writes their checks.
L0quence@reddit
You maybe tell them look, at the end of the day this is your job and I need this stuff done efficiently and properly. If you don’t want to do it that way then you know where the door is. Remind them everyone is replaceable including yourself!
Excellent_Pay_8782@reddit
Sounds like you have to slowly replace each driver with a more respectful one. As many drivers that are out here, you can find ones that actually do a great job and respect the opportunity you give them. No need to put up with a bunch of assholes who dont respect you. Cycle them out with better personalities. Don't let them be the ones poking holes in your ship because they will ditch you when it gets bad enough. You are the one in charge now. Hire and fire accordingly.
Nervous_Art9456@reddit
Unless you’ve had somewhat of an ongoing personable relationship with older staff before you took over then that would explain the lack of respect.
It’s like when a brand quietly tweaks a recipe….the packaging looks the same, but the snack you’ve loved for years suddenly tastes like a stranger. There’s really only one method to solve this
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
Maybe that’s their problem, they can’t use and take advantage of my father the way they could before.
Nervous_Art9456@reddit
then you’d need to make a major overhaul with older staff who accept you + new hires as it’d be easier to build & establish with staff who accepts you and new people than the ones who didn’t accept you since everything would be new to them
DRWildside1@reddit
Warn them. Then fire them if it keeps up. No one should be disrespected in the workplace. Not the boss, employee or client.
jqmallah@reddit
Put the operating rules in writing, then enforce them the same way every time. Driver call windows, dispatch escalation path, customer issue process, who can override what. If someone keeps turning basic procedure into a power contest, that is not a communication problem anymore.
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
That’s what I’m working on now. Company policy in black and white. “Do your job and keep moving” is all I’m asking. This isn’t a pissing match, and I’m not one anyone wants to be at war with.
jqmallah@reddit
You’re on the right track. Keep the policy boring and specific: call windows, escalation path, dispatch authority, customer issue process, and consequences. One question that matters here: are these company drivers or owner-ops, and roughly how many trucks are you managing? The way you enforce it changes a lot depending on that.
Redsoxdragon@reddit
So here's the thing with what you're saying. Things have been working well for these guys. They're getting paid, the company's making money and they're comfortable. No matter how you spin it, the company's "needs" will never top their wants. Especially with old heads, new person comes in and shakes things up, it's a tale as old as time, shit gets worse.
You will not change the culture of your current drivers. Theyre set in them, it works, they don't like change.
You either nudge them out and hire new drivers, or leave them be. Unless you're 110% sure you can replace them, dont mess with them. you have reliable cworkers, just not likeable workers. Bills come first
Your attitude sucks and not only can they pick up on it, new hires will pick up on it too. Ceo? Really? You ain't running blackrock. Call yourself the manager and get off your high horse. Call these guys assholes? Your dad built his empire with those assholes. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, ask what you're dad did right. Making the guys who are making you money happy isn't taking advantage of you.
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
You are so wrong it isn’t even funny. Your attitude is vile. It all boils down to respect and you sir lack it as well.
Redsoxdragon@reddit
I'm sorry, did i hurt your ego? It's like someone said earlier in this thread, if you run into a jerk one time, you ran into a jerk, if everyone you run into is a jerk, maybe you're the jerk.
You're a nepobaby and you're being treated as such. Get a thicker skin and make a change, or hear out whats been working for decades. Daddy built that empire, not the ceo
Redsoxdragon@reddit
So here's the thing with what you're saying. Things have been working well for these guys. They're getting paid, the company's making money and they're comfortable. No matter how you spin it, the company's "needs" will never top their wants. Especially with old heads, new person comes in and shakes things up, it's a tale as old as time, shit gets worse.
You will not change the culture of your current drivers. Theyre set in them, it works, they don't like change.
You either nudge them out and hire new drivers, or leave them be. Unless you're 110% sure you can replace them, dont mess with them. you have reliable employees, just not likeable ones and there's no guarantee the replacements will be as reliable. Bills come first, fuck your pride
Your attitude sucks and not only can they pick up on it, new hires will pick up on it too. Ceo? Really? You ain't running blackrock. Call yourself the manager and get off your high horse. Call these guys assholes? Your dad built his empire with those assholes. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, ask what your dad did right. Making the guys who are making you money happy isn't taking advantage of you. You got rampant bitch vibes just on this post alone
amazingmaple@reddit
You have to get thick skinned and stand up for yourself. You have to bring out your inner bitch to these drivers and show them you can't be intimidated
No_Competition_9238@reddit (OP)
Just to add this- I’ve been around this industry my entire life and dang near grew up in a truck with my Dad, we have a great relationship and I plan to see to it that his legacy lives on. He’s the greatest man I know and everyone who meets him will say the same.