Burnt out or Ready to move?
Posted by Timely-Onion-4819@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 10 comments
I need help deciding my future, all my friends and family are biased in one way or another. Im 33F and working in Dublin Ireland but am Australian. Been here for 3 years now and i have a nice life here. Job that pays well, good friends, nice apartment etc. The problem is i work with my ex which is torture and the dating scene here is absolutely awful!
Some of my friends have said London is probably more my vibe as dating wise the men there are probably more my style. The problem is moving is EXPENSIVE! Finding a job i hear is not easy in London (i work in compliance) and the cost of apartments etc are way more in london than dublin (all my friends there are sharing rather than having their own apartments).
Is it worth the cost of moving, potential decrease in salary as you are starting again all in the hopes of not dying alone?
Pan_Duh_Pan_Duh@reddit
I love Ireland. Want to go back so bad. But it was a little pricey for me.
So, England is easy enough to get to, right? (at least in comparison to say Ireland to France, or Germany, lol)
I’d just take a week vacation in London and go to some dating events (Speed dating, etc). See if you mesh well with anyone/like the dating scene/etc.
You might meet some cool people, get an idea of what dating is like in London, and if you really hit it off, an LDR isn’t atrociously difficult. (I’m American, and in a LDR marriage to a Mongolian). So unless you really don’t like LDRs, it might be worth considering.
Also, on Tinder, you can pin locations, and just talk to Londoners that way. If you gel with someone make time to go meet them?
Something nice about LDRs is that you have to talk, a lot, and determine if you have long term compatibility before any major moves.
Good luck :)
thepaleforest@reddit
Hard to know without more information. Where do you see your end game? Aus? Europe? Elsewhere?
Timely-Onion-4819@reddit (OP)
Honestly i don’t care. I came to Ireland for work (my company asked me to move) but i thought there would be amazing adventure and being single i thought the dating scene would be new and exciting. Instead its full of ghosting, dudes still living with their parents well into their 30’s with minimal effort/wish to change this and generally speaking from my experience a lack of ambition.
siciidkfidneb@reddit
That sounds like the UK. My male colleagues up to 30+ live all with mommy
Telecom_VoIP_Fan@reddit
I have been away from UK for so long now, but perhaps there is now some reputable online dating site where you could meet a wider range of people and move only when you find someone worth moving for?
Timely-Onion-4819@reddit (OP)
I have tried, hinge, bumble and tinder all seem to be pretty much the same though. As im sure most people would agree. My issue is that im not really attracted to anyone that the apps present me with and then once i think im being too picky and decide to give a guy a chance they turn into a massive disappointment (have been stood up a few times, ghosted lots of times, been on a date with a dude who was a massive racist and the rest make it pretty obvious they just want sex and then plan to never speak to you again).
Timely-Onion-4819@reddit (OP)
Thank you all so so much for your help! I really appreciate it!
Primary-Angle4008@reddit
There are other places in England compared to London, I live in London and while it’s a great place I wouldn’t move here for dating
Living is expensive from rents to public transport etc and housing isn’t always great either and yes singles often share for that very reason
Think about Manchester or Birmingham for example, both are large cities but far less expensive then London
Livid_Importance_453@reddit
Don't move for the dating scene alone—London can be just as lonely, with worse rent. borderpilot
JabbaTheHuttsCock@reddit
Moving to London in the hope of finding a better dating scene means you don’t follow the London sub and see lots of people complain about how bad the dating scene is, how to make friends, how lonely they are and how expensive it is, lol.
Can you not just find another job in Dublin to get away from your ex? You’ve got friends there already. London is ok for a long weekend but that’s about it imo. Much prefer it up North, nicer people, less expensive.
Dating is generally awful everywhere now that the main way to meet people is via the apps. I just wouldn’t make it your main focus to actually move