How did your high school deal with tragedies that affected the school community?
Posted by rabidstoat@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 175 comments
Nowadays they are grief counselors and we acknowledge that kids are affected by tragedies involving other students. When I was in high school, discussing such things was taboo and students were left to cope on their own (or not).
Did your high school do better?
In my junior year, we had four students at the high school commit suicide. We had a car accident involving a car full of students that had deaths and life-altering injuries. We had a student killed in a bicycle accident.
It was a very dark year and I, like many students, was left to cope on my own in a dark space. I can't help but feel like we would have had fewer suicides if it wasn't such a taboo subject that everyone knew about but nobody acknowledged.
eanglsand@reddit
Page in the yearbook. All better.
whatiftheyrewrong@reddit
We had a kid accidentally shot. A parent shot by a sibling, multiple parent deaths, a number by violence, an considerable abuse we tried to call out. And failed. Yeah. Not much was done to help us through any of this and most was barely acknowledged.
Dragonfly_Peace@reddit
Ab absolutely nothing, although we were allowed to have an afternoon off to go to a classmates funeral. I think. Maybe I’m wrong annd our parents all wrote notes.
AlyceEnchanted@reddit
Nothing was done.
There was a classmate that died in a house fire (1st grade, I think) that was used as a lesson. Heartless!
Fit_Holiday_2391@reddit
Not a high school but I went to a small k-8th elementary school in the 80’s and when one of the students in the grade above me was killed in a tragic accident involving a malfunctioning water pump in a creek they brought in counselors and bussed us to his memorial service. They also brought counselors in after the challenger disaster. In hindsight as an adult I felt the school and the community was very supportive. I remember elderly folks coming and having lunch with us, at the time I thought it was just them visiting with us but now I think it was a way to make sure the elders in our community received regular meals.
bjb8@reddit
I don't remember anything happening, we only heard rumors from other students. There were 2 kids that died or at least disappeared suddenly that I can remember over high school and neither were mentioned by the school. Only the other students gossiping. I know at least one of them definitely did die since I am now able to look up the grave site and the timeline matches.
someguythatiknow@reddit
My junior year, a popular senior died on Senior Skip Day. Never acknowledged by the school, didn’t let kids miss for the funeral, just put out word the following year that any senior absent on what would’ve been our skip day would be expelled and not graduate.
Cattailabroad@reddit
By pretending nothing happened. Challenger blows up on live TV, turn it off and pretend nothing happened. Classmate commits suicide? Pretend it didn't happen. Classmate electricuted and died? Pretend it didn't happen.
omfgwhatever@reddit
9th grade a kid hung himself in the bathroom. I didn't find out about it until lunch. They brought a counselor in the next day.
brendini511@reddit
My senior year started with an assembly where one of the announcements was that a classmate had died the day before due to a car accident. A guy who had just graduated was also in the car and almost died. No grief counselors or anything, but we were allowed to leave school early the day of the memorial service without penalty. Another kid that I never even heard about died in a car accident caused by him joyriding. There was nothing said about it. A few months into my senior year, the portable building that art classes was set on fire by an arsonist and all of the art students lost their portfolios. We just kept plugging along.
ONROSREPUS@reddit
In my whole 4 years in HS there was two fatale car crashes. total of 3 people passed away. I remember the school having a big group meeting after the first one happened. They offered help at the guidance consoler if you wanted to talk.
The second one was more about not drinking and driving then the person that passed.
So I think our schools did a decent job of recognizing what happened and tried to help what they could at the time.
Anonymo123@reddit
The only tragedy i recall was my brothers GF at the time was joyriding in a car at lunch and her and someone in the other car were hanging out the windows of 2 separate cars doing something silly and the car she was in hit a curb and flipped..with her still halfway outside.
They talked about it, had some assembly for the whole grade and "grief counselors".
Even though my brother was dating her (not sure for how long), I had never actually met her i think she was a junior, he was a senior and I was a sophomore. It was a horrible thing, but it never impacted me other then my brother being upset. She was one of the popular girls, so all the other popular girls were upset longer then everyone else.
ForswornForSwearing@reddit
Page in the yearbook. That's it.
Adorable_Bag_2611@reddit
Sophmore year. Friend committed suicide over the weekend. Monday morning, 2nd period, about 15 min before break, they came over the PA & said to the effect of “We are sorry to inform you that sophmore John Smith (fake name, obviously) died over the weekend. Sorry for the interuption”.
Junior year 4 seniors died in a car crash coming back from checking out a college. Monday again. PA, again. “We are sorry to inform you the seniors A, B, C, & D were in a fatal car accident over the weekend.”
Every year we had at least one announcement over the PA of a death.
More traumatic to me was when a friend & I went to another friends house & he had slit his wrists. He survived. But that messed me up.
Zestyclose-Play-2374@reddit
I remember a similar announcement was made when a girl in my elementary school died of an asthma attack. Neither of us knew the girl, but my sister was only in first grade and had just been diagnosed with asthma. We were both upset but we were expected to go through the school day as if all was normal.
Mindless-Employment@reddit
I was just thinking about this the other day because something reminded me of this kid who had some kind of cardiac episode and literally just dropped dead in the driveway playing basketball with some of his friends (who also went to school with me) one weekend when I was in 8th grade. I, and most other kids, didn't know about it until we got to school Monday morning and that was just from whispers in the hallways. Not one word was said by any teacher, administrator or any other adult that I know of. It wasn't acknowledged at all. He was in my history class and there was his empty desk Monday, but the teacher said literally not one word about him.
designsbyintegra@reddit
The school didn’t do anything. Their names and the accidents were whispered in the hall. Those that were close to the victims quietly wept in class and were mostly ignored.
secrerofficeninja@reddit
Nothing. Knew someone in senior year who died over winter in a car accident. Nothing was said or done by the high school.
Grand_Taste_8737@reddit
When the shuttle exploded they simply rolled the tv out and we started class again.
Leading-Amoeba-4172@reddit
This. And also for anything else that happened that was tragic. Students passing away suddenly, teacher, events, etc. Nothing was said or done…just kept on like a normal day.
lorelie53@reddit
If something happened and you cried in school they sent you home. That was it.
local_weather@reddit
My freshman or sophomore year a girl in my home room shot her self in the head. I didn’t really know her but she was fairly popular and well liked. The day after at school the grief was so profound the administrators tried to continue as normal but it wasn’t possible. Kids were just weeping in class. At some point they had councilors come in and they were available for anyone who wanted.
I don’t remember anything else like that happening.
mapalee@reddit
Our absolutely beloved French teacher died suddenly the summer between grade 5 and 6. They did nothing. Word spread among us since we were on summer break, but the school basically just introduced the new teacher. Threw her to the wolves (aka a bunch of 11 year olds who probably hadn’t even had to deal with grandparents’ deaths yet). We were horrible to that poor woman. I don’t know if the younger classes were kinder to her.
I don’t remember any student deaths until high school. One suicide in high school and a car accident the same weekend. They flew the flag at half mast.
Mindless-Baker-7757@reddit
This sounds like my high school.
I’m pretty sure the ignored it. The fifth kid was watched like a hawk.
WalnutTree80@reddit
Several kids died in car accidents during the years I was in high school.
I don't remember the principal, teachers, or guidance counselor even talking about it. Everything went on as usual, except absences were marked excused if students attended a funeral held on a school day.
Common_Poetry3018@reddit
A kid at my school committed a brutal murder and a journalist came around asking questions. I think she was planning to write a book. The school never discussed it, and we (the kids) wouldn’t talk to the journalist. Denial FTW.
hedge36@reddit
We had a plane crash take 19 people out of our little community. A month or so later another plane crash took out several more. The school provided counselors but I don't know if they were used much.
Naive-Garlic2021@reddit
Oh my, that made me remember a plane crash that killed 11 of my community. I was away at college at the time but a HS classmate's father was among the victims as was a relative of one of my college classmates (they both were from another state, so quite a coincidence). The town created a nice memorial. No idea how the schools handled the deaths of the 3 kids. 😢
hedge36@reddit
One of the fatal victims of the first crash was a beloved junior high teacher and a day or so later his son - a classmate - also died. Another classmate was partially paralyzed in that accident. Not a good year, that.
Naive-Garlic2021@reddit
😢
Bright_Broccoli1844@reddit
Oh my gosh. That crash had to be on the news. That's a lot of people.
Melekai_17@reddit
So, ironically, an admin from our district was killed in a school shooting. He had begun implementing a system using grief counselors in the wake of community tragedies. His death was the first time it was put into practice. So that’s how.
gimp_suit_larry@reddit
For the popular kids who plowed in to trees with their muscle cars: "counselors are available", there were moments of silence that dragged on, an assembly to remember them, and whole sections of the yearbook.
For the unpopular kids who just couldn't handle a shitty life anymore and killed themselves: the popular kids made jokes about it and school admin acted like nothing happened. Their friends were left alone to navigate a lot of horrible feelings.
galtscrapper@reddit
I am actually not sure I can talk about this without crying.
I was a nobody at school. Brad Lash... he was just kind to everyone. He was in my Catholic youth group, he was that funny kid who was just open to everyone. He died in a car accident days before school started.
The Catholic youth group leader told me he deserved it because he wasn't wearing his seat belt!
And I don't remember what the school did. Probably nothing since it happened the week before school started.
I was called by someone in the youth group and that is how I found out.
I think about him sometimes, because he was one of those kids who gave me attention in a world where I was pretty much ignored unless I was doing something wrong. He was a POPULAR kid.
WinterMedical@reddit
I’m sorry. Said his name loud so the universe will remember him for a moment more.
galtscrapper@reddit
Thank you. I know it made an impression cause he is the only name I remember from high school. RIP Brad.
rabidstoat@reddit (OP)
Holy shit that is cruel!
galtscrapper@reddit
Yeah, I was REALLY angry.
Zealousideal_Draw_94@reddit
My high school tried to ignore the bodies being dump behind it. Then claimed it wasn’t on school property so it didn’t matter.
Anotherams@reddit
If we don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen. Right?!?
Intrepid_Biscotti945@reddit
A kid in our class committed suicide in 7th grade. They asked us for f we wanted to talk about it or do work. We did work. I think it was same year a kid a few years older was killed in a car accident. Nothing. Maybe a year later 2 students were killed - got stuck on the tracks and hit by a train. Nothing….
nonotburton@reddit
I'm unaware of any school tragedies from my school at least. So, I guess they covered things up?
BizzyQueenBee@reddit
They didn’t. Nothing from the school, like at all, except we had memorial pages in the yearbook when someone died that year. The yearbook was run by students though, so…
Serious-Mongoose-387@reddit
deal with tragedies? what’s that?
someone died, that sucks. anyway, math test tomorrow.
Crafty_Original_7349@reddit
Nobody said anything to us, ever. It was a small farming community and you were expected to just suck it up and deal with it.
Listen-to-Mom@reddit
Our school never really acknowledged tragedies. They did give students the afternoon off when a teacher unexpectedly died if students wanted to attend the wake and funeral. Mostly, we just talked about what happened with our friends. No counselors were brought in. No social worker, etc.
KnightKrawler68@reddit
Same here.
A_Bridger_really@reddit
There were a group of students who created their own group (club) to help. I believe it was after a suicide.
dreaminginteal@reddit
All I can remember is that right at the end of one school year, one of the seniors (a couple of years ahead of me) drowned on a camping trip. No official response at all; we were all going on summer break in the next week anyway.
Chemical_Author7880@reddit
They didn’t really “handle” it. Several students were killed while I was in HS. We went to a special mass (Catholic HS), they put a picture and doodads in the trophy case for a semester, the end.
This was the early 80s and I think that was pretty standard.
whatsupgrizzlyadams@reddit
Page in the yearbook?
Chemical_Author7880@reddit
Not always. Sometimes but not consistent.
The one they did was nice.
Mouse-Direct@reddit
I grew up in rural Oklahoma, so death by guns, cars, and farming accidents were very common.
The summer between my sophomore and junior year, one of my classmates (in my 30 person grade) was killed in a horse racing accident (he was training as a jockey). My junior English teacher suggested that we do special projects for a semester. My brother’s sophomore class created a newspaper about the destruction and rebuilding of the school. My class decided to write a book about our classmate Kevin and his dream of becoming a jockey. It was incredibly cathartic for all of us, including Kevin’s family during the interview process. They were so moved that we all wanted to remember Kevin with something permanent.
rabidstoat@reddit (OP)
Wow, that was a great project your class picked! I wrote stories (fiction but very tied to that trauma-filled high school year) and it was helpful for sorting out my feelings.
xt0rt@reddit
Damn OP, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, and it has me wondering how large your class and/or town is/was? That's a whole lot of tragedy for one year.
rabidstoat@reddit (OP)
It was a really large urban high school. We had over 2000 students, grades 9-12.
The suicides I'm convinced were due to a contagion effect, were rumors of suicide go about and then someone who was maybe thinking it considers it more seriously. All four were boys, one in my grade, left a twin brother who I felt so bad for. I didn't really know them too well but we were in the same advanced classes. I can't remember what happened to the brother.
We only had one suicide the three other years I was at the school. Surprisingly, we only had on shooting (no death) but we had three or four stabbings. They were all off-campus, the guns and knives, but right next to the school and involving students.
Imverystupidgenx@reddit
Brothers on their way to school got into a car crash. I don’t know what happened that day other than an announcement 1st period about the accident (it was very close to the school) with vague information that it involved students and see your guidance counselor if needed.
I went home early that day and heard on the news that they’d died.
The next day another announcement, “There’s a support group forming of students and counselors in room blah. You are excused from whatever class you’re in, to go there now or later if you need to. ONLY THERE.”
It was a very actually a very helpful experience and I made some new and wonderful friends in the days that followed.
There was an assembly in the auditorium, but I don’t remember when.
They really did do their best with the resources they had.
Cozy_Minty@reddit
I had a friend die of brain cancer our senior year, no one said anything about it but they let his sister get his diploma at graduation
whatsupgrizzlyadams@reddit
You sucked it up and had a page in the year book about it.
charliefoxtrot9@reddit
Assemblies, usually. Some worse than others
Direct-Dish1779@reddit
We had a classmate commit suicide in his bathroom one month after his father died. He left his mom alone. He shot himself in the bathtub so that the mess would not be as bad. I always wondered if he could have talked to someone to help him through his grief and whatever else was bothering him. We were told the news and the funeral arrangements. He was a well liked guy. He was the only suicide for my high school years. I was grateful.
We weren't offered counselors back then.
nobody_smart@reddit
There were a few suicides while I was attending my Catholic High School. One was a girl I was tutoring in Pre Algebra. She was overweight with acne and braces. She wanted to be one of the 'Popular Girls', have an attractive boyfriend and go to parties and dances. (I was not boyfriend material, I was overweight, friendless and had acne. She hated working with me at study hall) She killed herself, left a note about why she was sad. Her parents were influential and sent the police to the school to interrogate and blame me. Nothing came of it. No-one cared, no counselor talked to me or anyone else. The next day, it was like she never existed. I wanted to be her friend. I got kicked out of National Honor Society for not completing the tutoring requirement.
I've forgotten her name.
HighJeanette@reddit
We had teachers throwing chairs at students and I live in the suburbs. So no, we didn’t get counseling. Even after the student the teacher threw a chair out was killed in car crash.
We lost so many classmates and they said suck it up, so we did. Why do we wonder why we are the way we are.
Aromatic_Revolution4@reddit
A kid committed suicide over the weekend.
Homeroom teachers read a note saying if any students wanted to talk about it they could report to their guidance counselor.
Sea_Brush4156@reddit
I remember when I was in kindergarten, the school principal was in a serious car accident. We were told she was in a coma and never saw her again. I think she died, although I've never been sure because it was never discussed again.
KingPabloo@reddit
We had a student pour gasoline on himself and burn himself to death on the school property, was never really discussed.
BmanGorilla@reddit
We had a moment of silence, but that was it. We all had parents and friends if we needed to talk things over, though I don't know anyone who ever did talk it over.
soopirV@reddit
We lost our student class president to a car crash that was her boyfriend’s fault, we spelled out her initials on the football field for an aerial yearbook photo.
WinterMedical@reddit
Ours got a page in the yearbook.
Naive-Garlic2021@reddit
Ours too.
Naive-Garlic2021@reddit
"In memoriam" page in the yearbook after a bad drunk driving car crash that took 2 lives.
I don't remember anything official from the high school, just lots of hushed, shocked talking amongst the students. It's possible it was addressed in some way. We had guidance counselors who encouraged us in general to come to them with problems. I am sure there were some students who did talk to them.
InvestmentMain8414@reddit
Maybe Im lucky.
My elementary school had counselors available when a family we went to school with was wiped out by a drunk driver.
Same for high-school. We had a lot of deaths for a small community.
WinterMedical@reddit
We had a girl die in a car accident when I was in 5th grade. Nothing nothing. I only remember that her name was Christina. I feel sad about forgetting her last name. I think I can still picture her but maybe it’s not real.
Angry_GorillaBS@reddit
My school did nothing that I can recall. And we had one happen in 4th grade (car accident on the way to school), one of my best friends at the time as well as one of his sisters, and the school told us about it, didn't even leave it for the parents to do which I feel like would have been better. As I recall it that was the end of it, and they just left us to deal with it for the rest of the day. Got a page in the yearbook.
There were about 3 others that happened before graduation and I don't remember anything being done about those either, although the most impactful one happened during the summer.
I always said my class was cursed, because this was a small school, my graduating class was I think 60 some people, and 4 people dying before graduation seems excessive. Not to mention there were a couple more within 2 years of graduation.
xt0rt@reddit
My Jr high wrestling coach was hit and killed by a drunk driver. We had an assembly and then were released for they day. Those of us that were either close to him, or on the wrestling team were excused for the day to go to his funeral. Me and my wrestling buddies all walked to the funeral home, and then back to one of their houses afterwards.
I remember feeling pretty numb, and a little lost. I was pretty close to him, and ended up not wrestling the next year because he was no longer the coach and it felt weird. His youngest daughter was in my class(97) and I felt so bad for her and her family.
RIP Mr. Rozmus
135BkRdBl@reddit
"There will be a counselor available in the senior smoking lounge during the first three lunch periods today and tomorrow. Also please note, for tomorrow's pep rally please wear Spartan blue and white to show your support for our varsity football team playing their final home game of the season." - this was the announcement after a senior in our class got hit and killed by a car when he left a party drunk and decided to cross a local expressway.
135BkRdBl@reddit
"There will be a counselor available in the senior smoking lounge during the first three lunch periods today and tomorrow. Also please note, for tomorrow's pep rally please wear Spartan blue and white to show your support for our varsity football team playing their final home game of the season." - this was the announcement after a senior in our class got hit and killed by a car when he left a party drunk and decided to cross a local expressway. (Just a side note, 18y.o me and my friends found this to be hysterical.)
Automatic-Nature6025@reddit
Completely acting like nothing happened. In elementary school, we lost a classmate to Leukemia, which messed us all up, one of the most popular and well-liked kids in our class, and nothing. In high-school, a classmate was killed by her own father in a double murder, suicide, and again, nothing, although I think they said the school counselor would be available to talk, which, I assumed they always were anyway, isn't that how that was supposed to work? I dunno, nobody that I knew ever voluntarily saw the counselor.
Outrageous-Advice384@reddit
I don’t recall anything. Nothing was said about Challenger, nothing was said about the various students who lost their lives over the years….they all pretended kids had no feelings to deal with, like we’d magically forget if it wasn’t mentioned again
Coyote-American@reddit
The put a ‘special full page’ photo of the person who died in the yearbook. I don’t remember counseling for it.
Ok_Industry3016@reddit
Get under your desk.
VH5150OU812@reddit
Announcement in the morning. Funeral details were shared if they were known at the time. Blanket dismissal for those who wanted to attend if it was on a school day and during school hours. The impressive part is that those who were not going didn’t take it as an opportunity to skip. Then a memorial in the yearbook if it wasn’t too late.
drunkenknitter@reddit
They got a page in the yearbook "gone too soon" and we went on with our lives.
3Gilligans@reddit
My shop teacher always used to say, "Don't do this or you'll get a big picture in the yearbook"
Araneas@reddit
Damn - I forgot about that page!
Bright_Broccoli1844@reddit
I don't think there were any tragedies. I don't remember hearing about any, and it was a large high school.
Beneficial-Cow-2544@reddit
They had an announcement over the PA and expressed condolences. I think that was it.
We were really on our own for everything back then.
SunshineandBullshit@reddit
They didn't. The captain of the football team and three of his teammates were killed in a car accident after the homecoming game. It wasnt even announced till 4 days later. I saw the accident and went to Homecoming dance anyway.
ruet_ahead@reddit
Brutal! And people wonder why we're so detached and don't really react to much. Outwardly anyway.
Hyperocean@reddit
I remember being in grade two, and a girl from our class who had recently moved away and near a different local school was abducted while alone at a convenience store over there. She was never found.
It was quickly all over the nearby big city’s news because even though it wound up being not related, there was a very prolific serial child murderer at work in the region for a few years around the same time. It was of course the only story for a long while in the small town papers and radio etc.
At the beginning I remember the poor grade two teacher sadly telling us it was definitely our former classmate and again, be careful around people you don’t know. She loses it. Very sad times.
We still never stopped riding our bikes everywhere, we just trusted fewer people while doing it..
Here in Canada there was maybe some chatter in the classroom when Reagan got shot, Challenger was a PA announcement in Jr High School. Other than that abduction shock when I was 6 or 7, there wasn’t a lot of tragedy befalling students in our town during my time growing up. We were lucky I think while reading the stories here..
Sort of related. Did this kind of thing happen in most places? The Senior High School and the Provincial insurance provider usually had a fake car accident staged somewhere near the student parking the day before a big assembly on road safety about blood on the roads etc. Wrecked car or bike with cops and ambulance making noise and some people crying and making commotion while not much was actually going on..
Araneas@reddit
In our highschool there were cheers when Reagan was shot. He was not liked up here. Challenger- a bunch of people were watching the launch on the big screen in the TV store - I got shit from my boss for taking a long lunch until I explained why, then back to work.
ruet_ahead@reddit
They didn't. I'm not kidding.
chewbooks@reddit
Told us to walk it off.
ivylass@reddit
Nope. We had a very popular cheerleader kill herself and we went to class.
We heard rumors her mother was trying to relive her youth through her daughter and putting pressure on you, but who knows.
Araneas@reddit
"Buddy fell through the ice and drowned in the river"
"That sucks, carry on"
We might have had a school wide announcement telling us to keep off ice - that's it.
InterestingCoast1215@reddit
Nada.
Remember we are invisible.
RoyalPuzzleheaded259@reddit
They acted like nothing happened and it was business as usual. Every year we had a carload of kids killed from drunk driving. No memorials, no grief counselors, no acknowledgment that it even happened. If a student brought it up the usual answer would be something along the lines of “that’s why you shouldn’t drink.”
EastAd7676@reddit
“Nothing to see here and nothing to talk about.” And this was a small, small Midwest town (population ~2,000) in the 1970s and ‘80s.
Wolf_Dog_10@reddit
We had suicides, car accidents, cancer death, and our high school did literally nothing
Otherwise_Object_446@reddit
We had the sister of our classmate die tragically and four friends of hers were injured by a drunk driver. We were told to suck it up and not talk about it since she didn’t go to our school.
HatesDuckTape@reddit
Had a classmate hit by a car and killed. 2nd grade. We somehow didn’t have school buses; it was the local bus company. Kid got off the bus and crossed the street into traffic.
Principal came and talked to our class. No one else’s. He was in there maybe 5 minutes and didn’t say much except that it was a sad thing and it was ok to cry. One girl cried. We had our normal silent reading time after that.
Another classmate died of hepatitis in 5th grade. He was in the hospital for a few weeks. Our class took a field trip to visit him. Died a few weeks after we went. The principal poked his head into the room and told us he died the night before. Didn’t even come into the room. Back to our regularly scheduled lesson. Nothing else said because I guess nothing else needed to be said? Yeah. He lived a few houses down from me.
I don’t remember anyone dying after that. A few kids’ parents, but not students.
ThePsycHOTicNurse@reddit
There were two guys at my high school that went to the park and it was either a murder suicide or a double suicide…..I’m not real sure, but they got a full page in the yearbook and we were all left to wonder
tranquilrage73@reddit
I am not sure that we viewed it as tragic at the time, but there were at least five of us (myself included) who were pregnant when we graduated (1991) One of my classmates gave birth a few months before graduation, and two other girls (in different grades) were also pregnant when my class graduated.
Looking back, it was INSANE. Thankfully, the teen birth rate has dropped since then.
I really have to wonder if it had to do with our parents (boomers) pushing abstinence so hard, as opposed to talking to us about birth control.
My daughters are 30 and 33 now, and both went to college and got married afterwards. Still no grandkids.
Ok-Street7504@reddit
When the Challenger happened I was a senior in high school and they let anybody that it bothered go home except for the burnout kids they made them stay.
RogerClyneIsAGod2@reddit
They did nothing.
We had a Vietnamese girl get murdered during my senior year in 1985 & I don't recall them doing anything outside of a memorial page in the yearbook. No counseling, no days off, no real mentions of it at all for the most part. The Vietnamese kids hung with the Vietnamese kids & didn't really "cross the cafeteria" so many of us didn't even know her.
Honestly, if they did mention it I don't recall it but I can't remember now.
-toadflax-@reddit
Had a 1/2 hour assembly then never talked about it again. It was perfect.
Littleleicesterfoxy@reddit
We had a boy die in a glue sniffing incident, it was announced in assembly and that was it. I felt quite bad because he sat next to me in maths for an exams and annoyed me by sniffing the whole way through it the week before.
Stubborn_Strawberry@reddit
They did nothing.
fridayimatwork@reddit
My friends and I got high. That was our counseling
CooperSTL@reddit
They did nothing.
I watched the shuttle Challenger explode live on TV in class. They turned off the TV and we went to next period.
HatesDuckTape@reddit
4th grade. We all sat there and watched it. No one said much. Teacher turned it off when it was time to go to lunch. Came back to class after recess like nothing happened.
Grouchy_Vet@reddit
My younger siblings watched it live at school. It was devastating but it wasn’t a time when people worried about a child’s mental health
CatBird2023@reddit
I am so glad that I wasn't watching it live.
Ok-Offer-541@reddit
Yep. Same here.
SunshineandBullshit@reddit
Ditto
Kind_Worry_9836@reddit
I remember that vividly, even though I was seven years old and in first grade. The teacher wheeled in the TV cart and we watched it. I recall that something wasn't right but I went on with my day. I don't think the teacher said anything about it.
ApatheistHeretic@reddit
A 30 second statement over the PA system with the morning announcements.
"Today, we'd like everyone to remember the terrible tragedy of. Thank you. Lunch will be pizza and enjoy the rest of your day!"
jax2love@reddit
Junior high: former student then in high school was killed with a few other kids in a head on collision where he was driving drunk. One of our teachers gave us his phone number with the directive to call him any time if the other option was driving drunk or riding with someone who had been drinking.
High school: Girl died at one of those “troubled teen” wilderness camps. I don’t recall anyone saying or doing anything even though it made the news. Another girl was murdered by her abusive father. Lots of whispers, but again I don’t recall anything “official” happening.
Few-Pineapple-5632@reddit
That was good of your teacher.
Few-Pineapple-5632@reddit
They let us out of school for the funeral.
The end.
Seriously, my boyfriend died in a car crash when I was in high school. Other than comfort from friends and some serious drinking we did, all we got was excused from school for the funeral. The school did exactly nothing.
2PlasticLobsters@reddit
When I was in junior high, a boy died of a self-inflicted gunshot, which everyone who knew him believed was accidental. He was known to be both happy and clumsy, and had been in th eprocess of cleaning it.
I didn't know him, I think he was a year behind me. I mostly remember hearing stuff through th estudent grapevine. If the school made any announcement at all, I've forgotten it. Seems like they had to have done so, but who knows.
Back then, it was generally believed that kids forget traumas. This happened about the same time the movie "Carrie" was released. The scene at the end shows the mother of the only survivor of an attack & fire that killed her BF & close friends. She's on the phone & tells a friend how the doctors said not to talk about the incident & she'd forget it in time. It's such obvious bullshit, but reflects how people thought at the time.
crone_Andre3000@reddit
A girl was involved in something very bad under a bridge in our town and it was pretty horrific. Kid who did it came to the high school after to clean up. It was never talked about after that day - her siblings switched schools.
lovemesomezombie@reddit
Nothing was done when we lost friends. It was really hard. My best friend died in a car accident and nobody helped (not even my parents). It took me years to process as I was able to just push it down and move on. 30 years later it hit me and hard. Then all the other traumas came up and out. Doing better now with help.
PerfectAd9944@reddit
I only remember one girl dying in a car crash and one boy dying of cancer. The only thing that happened was there was a memorial photo of them in the yearbook.
Picmover@reddit
When a popular kid committed suicide, kids were allowed to leave school early for a few days if they couldn't deal with it. We also had counselors there.
When an unpopular kid, who existed in the shadows when not being teased and bullied, committed suicide. No one noticed and school went on as normal.
This irks me to this day.
Girl77879@reddit
At my school they announced the suicides, but not the kids who died to neighborhood violence. If you guessed all the suicides were white and the neighborhood violence were black or Latino you'd be right. Unfortunately, at the time it wasn't really noticeable, but in hindsight.... Yeah.. That's.... Something. Especially for an urban city school.
tcrhs@reddit
When students died, the principal would hold a short memorial in the auditorium. We didn’t have any counselors available. We went back to class after the memorial was over.
yanknga@reddit
Nothing for our HS. My friends and I guess figured it out on our own. Parents probably tried to help too but I probably didn’t listen much to mine.
NPC261939@reddit
The school would plant a tree in honor of the deceased. I think only two of my fellow classmates died during my time in school. One from a brain tumor, the other from leukemia.
Detroitdays@reddit
Mid 80’s a classmates younger brother was killed crossing the street. Somehow, instinctively, we just knew we better not talk about it. This was 5th grade.
Junior year a girl had a party that destroyed her parent’s house. She shot herself in the hard after everyone left. Nothing.
Girl77879@reddit
Middle school a classmate and friend was r*ped and murdered in a park by some high school kids. School said nothing, I saw it on the news. High school there were several kids killed due to being in the wrong place wrong time, some suicides, a couple accidents. Only the suicides were announced on the PA and that's it. Those killed by neighborhood violence just was word of mouth.
pantheroux@reddit
My school had a west coast trip that 8th graders could sign up for. A kid died on the trip when he fell off of a cliff while hiking in the rain. It was only ever talked about in the context of “we won’t be having the west coast trip next year because of this year’s tragic accident”. It was only recently that I realized how fucked up that was.
troisarbres@reddit
They didn't. Each year in high school at least one student died by suicide but that detail was never mentioned. During morning announcements they simply mentioned that so-and-so died and that was about it.
JustChemist8556@reddit
In the 80s, nothing
JuJu_Wirehead@reddit
Dead kids got a whole page devoted to them in the year book if their parents ponies up the money for it. Otherwise, I don't recall the school doing much at all.
Signal_Glittering@reddit
My freshman year we had a student kidnapped and murdered My sophomore year we had a student murder her brother My senior year we had a student kidnapped but she escaped and lived I thought it was normal until I got ti college. My school did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing that I remember though. Trauma blocks memories but I’m pretty confident everyone pretended like it never happened.
Grouchy_Vet@reddit
Every year, growing up, a car full of seniors would be killed in my area around prom season/graduation. We lost 5 kids my junior year in a horrific car accident.
You were expected to just deal with it
Glittering_Coconut9@reddit
Um ... they didn't? There was a string of years when one to three folks from the graduating class would die not long after graduation. I went to a tiny school in a tiny town, so everyone really did know everyone, and those deaths were absolutely devastating. Our school? Crickets. There'd be a memorial page in the next yearbook with the obligatory Hamlet "flights of angels" quote, and we were just left to deal on our own.
Chipmunk_4168@reddit
High school in the 70's. Definitely no counseling at school. We talked about these things during youth group at church which helped.
Jas62021@reddit
We didn’t lose any classmates. At least not that they told us about
TripMaster478@reddit
Grade twelve we lost three kids to a drunk driving incident where one of them was driving. I wasn't close with any, but a lot of people were really messed up. There were definitely no grief counsellors around.
LuceLeakey@reddit
When I was in high school in 1986, there were three sexual assaults in two months by the same person. All three girls were stabbed, two of them fatally. This happened in August and September, so just before and just after the start of the school year. I don't recall anyone in authority talking about it at school or trying to help us through it emotionally in any way.
CatBird2023@reddit
Oh my god, how horrific.
LuceLeakey@reddit
Yeah it was pretty scary for that month in between the murders. None of us kids, especially the girls, were allowed out of the house. It was a pretty small community, so I knew one of the girls and used to play with her when we were kids. And I think most of the adults knew the guy because he worked at one of the area's largest employers.
tauregh@reddit
We had one classmate commit suicide my senior year and most of us were able to call out sick so we could go to the service. We filled that church to overflowing.
But no, there was never any counseling or anything.
Substantial_Way296@reddit
We're Gen X. You shared stuff at home.. at the dinner table.. or not at all.
Brizzledude65@reddit
Not at all in my case.
_Stainless_Rat@reddit
Early 80s. 7th grade. Had been out of school for a few days sick. Came back, asked “hey, where’s NAME?” my friend. Response; “oh he hung himself”.
Shocked me, but that was it. No counciling or anything like that. Just how it was back then. Not saying it was better or worse, that’s just how it was.
Many years later I still think of him and wonder if I hadn’t been out maybe he’d have talked to me.
If you think of hurting yourself, talk to someone.
PeptoBismark@reddit
Mid 80s, a car full of cheerleaders was struck by a Camaro running with its lights off and doing 100 in a 45. One passenger went through the windshield and died there.
We got an assembly, and the counselling office had open hours.
I think mostly the lesson at the time was that the three survivors were the ones wearing seatbelts.
ZippyTheRat@reddit
Had a classmate drowned but it was like the last day of school… never mentioned it, but the class remembered him in the yearbook and on our “senior” banner we ran up the flag pole
FFE67@reddit
went to a Catholic HS, we had a mass.
DPax_23@reddit
In JR high early 80s a paraplegic kid in our class went in for back surgery and died. They announced it over the school intercom first thing in the morning and never mentioned it again.
DiggingforPoon@reddit
We had a 3 die in a Drunk Driving incident, so my school put up one of those dumb ass "wrecked cars" at the student parking lot entrance and kept it there for 2 years.
smuttybuddy84@reddit
Had something similar in my school. Drunk driving wreck. 3 killed. 2 were students and one former student (the driver). About a month later the school trophy case was plastered with pictures of the scene taken by the local newspaper with a bunch of don't drink and drive propaganda and for some reason D.A.R.E. to keep kids off drugs posters. Pretty tasteless since one of the dead students had a younger sister still going to school there.
Kind_Worry_9836@reddit
That was a thing at my high school too. Cars are a lot safer now so I guess that is outdated.
Bubbly_Following7930@reddit
I don't remember anything specific
zalurker@reddit
We had two new kids get called to the office and never come back to class. We only heard a few days later that both parents were killed in a freak accident touring the steel mill.
The dad was a new engineer, and the plant offered a tour for the spouses of new senior staff. This was the 80's, safety was optional. There was an accident and the catwalk they were on was splashed with molten steel. They weren't even able to recover any bodies.
We held a minute of silence, and that was it.
qetral@reddit
a day of mourning - we just kind of meandered between classes crying. Teachers didn't really teach, just talked about what happened which made everyone cry more. Otherwise nobody was around to talk to. This was all between 84-88
CatBird2023@reddit
I remember the principal making an announcement one morning over the PA system telling everyone that a high school student had died. When we asked what had happened, our homeroom teacher said "he took his own life". That was it, and it was never publicly discussed again.
While I'm here: Something I'm glad that has changed in the intervening years is the recognition that the term "committed suicide" can be stigmatizing and harmful. Changing our language takes practice, so I invite folks to start saying "died by suicide" instead. Thanks and take care.
No-Reward8036@reddit
We didn't have many. one pothead twat got stoned and fell of a pipe over a river and drowned while his equally stoned pals sat and watched it happen. The head teacher basically told us to stop wasting our lives and get on with being decent human beings, not scum bags. It didn't really affect any of us after the funeral was over.
binarianVoodoo@reddit
I always thought my junior high was wildly messed up, but even back in 80’s when kids died there was councillors brought in and class time left open for kids to just leave and talk.
Machinebuzz@reddit
Nothing thankfully.
VixxSynn@reddit
We had a kid in senior year die in a car crash. The next day there was a rose on his desk in every class, but that was pretty much it.
Careless_Ocelot_4485@reddit
Nothing. A student committed suicide my sophomore year in 1983, nothing. Another student died in class from an aneurysm my senior year, nothing.
dcamnc4143@reddit
Two guys I knew died, one I was close with. One, a suicide, there was barely anything, it was almost like they swept it under the rug. The one I was close with died in a plane crash. It was a bigger deal, they put a permanent memorial out by the flag poles.
grateful_john@reddit
The year before I started high school seven seniors (out of a class of \~250) died - mostly suicides although not all the deaths were acknowledged as suicides. The school did nothing.
upnytonc@reddit
Morning announcements would mention the loss without going into detail. And that was it. I had a few good teachers who asked the class if they’d like to discuss what happened instead of doing our planned lesson for the day.
daydreamersunion@reddit
They put a memorium in the back of the yearbook when our star QB died in a car wreck, so basically nothing.
The students threw a huge Halloween kegger at the lake park in his honor that will go down in my personal history as the time and place I lost my virginity. So I coped.
TransatlanticMadame@reddit
We had an assembly and were told not to talk to the press.
Jbrivermaster@reddit
No counseling. I think Gen X as a whole could be called the compartmentalization generation. Our grandparents taught us to never cry. Never give up. Never back down. Never quit. At least in my family I was the first male in a hundred years that has not had to take a human life in combat. Shit maybe I’m broken and too dumb to know it.
Raptor28570@reddit
Suck it up buttercup.
DryFoundation2323@reddit
They didn't.
btqlover@reddit
My school did nothing. Just do your work. Higher Production is better for your future mantras.
MaximumJones@reddit
Our schools didn't do shit. My junior year one of the nicest guys in our class was at the wrong place/wrong time and got ran over by a car (he was not the intended target). The school did not hold an assembly or anything..
He got a memorial page in the yearbook.
Glass-Nectarine-3282@reddit
We had students kill themselves in back to back years, and they talked it about at the morning annoucements.
I stole a book out of one kid's locker since I needed it, but yeah, I don't think there was much counseling.