At what age would you deem it appropriate to leave a teen and friends 'home alone'?

[-]

Dr_Lumf@reddit

Fine if they are sensible as you say, me and 3 of my friends when on a 5 day camping trip by ourselves when we were 16, we didn’t even drink 😅

[-]

My parents let my girlfriend and I fly to Spain on our own at 16. Christ knows what they were thinking, I got the worst sunburn of my life and we saw a cockroach in the house we rented so we moved everything into a single room and locked all the doors. Then we just drank sangria for seven days.

[-]

ampmz@reddit

Yeah I went to Greece when I was 16. Ran out of money about 4 days in. Good life lesson though!

[-]

Swimming-Sundae5@reddit

Haha what an experience though.

[-]

littletorreira@reddit

We went to Cornwall and got high every moment we were awake!

[-]

Food_Cats1@reddit

I was sensible and didn't drink but I was organising sleepovers when my parents were away in secret. I much rather know who's staying and let them know they can call me if anything happens than my kids going behind my back

[-]

Dr_Lumf@reddit

agree

[-]

Jenpot@reddit

I mean given 16 year olds can literally move out of their family home in Scotland, yeah, it's fine.

[-]

Nielips@reddit

I was living on my own at 16, seems you are being a bit overbearing.

[-]

TheHeroYouNeed247@reddit

Depends on the teen. I know adults I wouldn't leave in my house.

[-]

Prestigious_Emu6039@reddit

From age 14 most kids can be left ok, except if they like to start fires etc

[-]

Sure-Recognition-262@reddit

A 16 year old is legally old enough to leave home. So they're obviously old enough to be left unsupervised.

The key question here is are they sensible enough (which is only very loosely correlated with age) to be left in your house with your stuff - your Q seems to say they are.

[-]

Bifanarama@reddit

I'd allow it for responsible teens, but i would probably be tempted to drive past the house at some point to check that it all seems ok.

And explain to your kids that, if it gets out of hand through no fault of theirs, a couple of rings to your mobile is all it takes for you to come and sort it, no questions asked and no blaming.

[-]

thewanderingidiot62@reddit

I went on holiday with friends at 16. They'll be fine!

[-]

TheLightStalker@reddit

And I had a foursome. So flip of a coin really?!

[-]

flyin_jimmy@reddit

All I did was ride a pedalo to Africa.

[-]

Decent_Confidence_36@reddit

Amen brother / sister

[-]

sparkline1234567@reddit

Hopefully not!

[-]

thewanderingidiot62@reddit

Also at 14 they can legally babysit and be responsible for children - they can be responsible for themselves.

[-]

sockeyejo@reddit

At 16 I was responsible enough to look after the farm solo. Some of my friends, however, I wouldn't have trusted with a tin opener at that age.

[-]

Flapparachi@reddit

As a farmer, this made me laugh. Definitely made from different stuff!

[-]

LaurenNotABot@reddit

We left my daughter and 2 friends at 14 , not that long ago. Technically it wasn’t over night but we were gone from 5pm till about 2am and they’d all gone to sleep by 12!

16 is fine

[-]

sim-o@reddit

Whatever age you think you're jot gonna return to a xesteyed9 hime6

[-]

Dependent_Tailor1843@reddit

Let them and if there is issues then they ruined any chance next time

[-]

Cha_r_ley@reddit

I had a house party for my 16th with friends staying over. Fair enough my parents were coming back later than night BUT they had no issues leaving me there with my boyfriend staying over when they went on holiday about a year later.

My mum gave me a lot more trust than a lot of my friends had from theirs. Her thinking was that it would make me more willing to be open with her (it did) and also if I DID experiment sexually or whatnot, I was doing it in a safe place.

I will always be glad that my mum took this approach. I never really had crazy wild behaviour like some of my friends did when they got old enough to be given more freedom. My mum and I had a pretty open and honest relationship (there were obviously certain details I didn’t bring up lol). I think she made the right call.

[-]

Specialist-Salt-3949@reddit

I was a teenager back in the 1970s and was often left to my own devices during school holidays while my parents were out at work. That said, my Mum worked nearby and my grandparents lived locally. I sometimes used to babysit a neighbour’s kids when I was in my early teens while their parents went to the pub on Friday and Saturday evenings - but this never involved overnight stays. I agree that it would be appropriate to allow older teenagers to be left overnight - this would help them to develop a sense of responsibility and to build trust.

[-]

xl3roken@reddit

My mom asked the police this at one point because of neighbours being cunts about my being home alone as a child.

The Police said that from 12 years old its genuinely fine aslong as there is food in the house the child can access. A way to contact in case of emergencies and the awareness of stranger danger. Do not answer the door. Even with being told its fine because i was 12 at the time it wouldnt be more than a few hours. Not overnight.

At 16 i fully believe its common sense for these teenagers to know this. But the question relies on if you trust the friends in your house alone? Do you trust everyone to stay inside be responsible and clean up after themselves? If yes then do whatever.

[-]

Smoothest-of-Gooches@reddit

I was doing this from 13/14 years old

[-]

yourefunny@reddit

We had plenty of sleep overs when we were a similar age with parents in the house. Still didn't stop us doing completely stupid shit. But we all survived! They will be fine.

[-]

bluejeansseltzer@reddit

Whatever age they seem able to take of themselves. I was left alone from the age of 8 (often by necessity) and I was fine because I’d didn’t fuck about. My brother, who is much younger than me, is 15 and my parents don’t trust him like they did me because he fuck about. It’s entirely child-dependent.

[-]

Vickyinredditland@reddit

I got a flat with my best friend when I was 16, I suppose times have changed now though 😂. I have teens and young adults and I think at 16 I would trust my own kids, but I'd want to speak to all the parents involved and make sure they understood the situation too.

[-]

infieldcookie@reddit

I went abroad to visit a friend at that age and we stayed in one of her friend’s houses without supervision for 3-4 days lol. I know some teens can be irresponsible but it’s better they’re somewhere you know than them sneaking around.

[-]

BillyBlaze314@reddit

others think its irresponsible and dangerous.

Wat?

They're 16, not 6

[-]

InitiativeConscious7@reddit

Right? Some places their legally adults haha

[-]

bahumat42@reddit

I don't know where the line is but your description is definitely well within the "that's fine" camp.

[-]

h00dman@reddit

It was a very normal thing when I was a teenager to be home alone overnight, as early as about 13 years of age.

For my parents and those of my mates it was that or not paying the bills.

[-]

seven-cents@reddit

As long as you trust them (enough) and the parents of the other kids know the plan then it's fine

[-]

Gorf1@reddit

You've already answered your question with the word "sensible".

My stepdaughter could be left to sort herself out at age 10 including cooking herself a meal and cleaning up afterwards.

My stepson left home to go travelling in his early 20s and right up to the day he got on the plane I would not have trusted him to boil an egg without destroying the kitchen.

[-]

Drwynyllo@reddit

I went away for a week youth hostelling with school friends when I was 14 years old. And then for 3 weeks when I was 15. This was back in the 1970s, if that's relevant.

Fwiw, the son of one of my partner 's colleagues just had a 16th birthday party with some friends, which they were allowed to have on their own.

He and his parents ended up spending 4 hours in A&E after he fell down the stairs after drinking too much.

[-]

Curious-Term9483@reddit

It depends on the teenagers tbh. I was left home when my parents were on holiday when I was 16 (different times maybe!) without issue.

And I would definitely trust my eldest (17 now but would have done before her birthday) and her mates. But your teenagers may vary!

Mine is sensible and in a sensible (dare I say boring!) friends group and took themselves off on a youth hosteling holiday last summer without any adults. Mixed sex group all sharing a room - don't think she ever told her dad that bit. All the parents were a phonecall a way and probably between us had friends and family nearby who could have provided emergency support until we could get there if it was needed. A sleepover at home, even if I was away somewhere, I know their parents are all within a mile or so could be summoned if necessary.

[-]

Curious-Term9483@reddit

I would probably refuse to go book a room in the premier inn down the road to allow for a parentless sleepover (but I would totally use it as an excuse for a weekend away!)

[-]

jeminar@reddit

Both my kids could have parties at 16. I had a great house for it. I even paid for the booze. My only rule was that if shit happened they would call an adult who was nearby (we always assigned a neighbour) and we should trust them to get help and not try to cover it up.

[-]

worldworn@reddit

I've said this before on here, a sensible 16 year is better than an irresponsible 19 year old.

It's not the age, it's how responsible they are

[-]

ShineAtom@reddit

I'm pretty sure I left my 16 year old son alone for a weekend and he had a party whilst I was gone. He did tell me he was having the party and I told him that top of the list was "Under no circumstances disturb the neighbours". We all survived it; the house was cleaned up before I returned home and no neighbours contacted me. This was around 2011.

I agree that trusting your teen is an important thing to do. Anything that keeps the lines of communication open (even if they are frequently unused because, well, teens).

[-]

Particular_Cicada_28@reddit

You can have a house at 16 all im gonna say

[-]

SinisterBrit@reddit

is say you know them, more than anyone who isn't a parent of them. just make it clear if they screw up it's not happening again.

[-]

sunandskyandrainbows@reddit

I went on holiday with friends at 15. Went to Barcelona alone (without friends) at 16. They'll be fine. How are kids meant to get independent if they can't be trusted to have a sleepover at 16? Then they go to uni at 18 and....the newfound freedom can be a lot.

[-]

mrfluffypants1504@reddit (OP)

This is my thinking too. I always give my daughter as much freedom as possible but her dad wants her wrapped in cotton wool forever.

[-]

f8rter@reddit

25

[-]

MojoMomma76@reddit

I routinely travelled from one end of the country to another at 16 to visit my cousin at Uni in Brighton. If you think they are reasonably sensible then I’d be all for it, I think we don’t give teenagers enough freedom these days. I am very glad I hit my teens in the 1990s for loads of reasons (our music was the best music IMHO) but lack of helicopter parenting was a big part of it.

[-]

Arlacx@reddit

I would be left at home alone with my younger sister when I was 13 whilst my parents worked during the holidays.. No issues. It’s a case of whether or not you think your kid is capable of looking after themselves

[-]

mrfluffypants1504@reddit (OP)

I know, its crazy! I was left looking after my younger siblings when my parents went on holiday aged 14.

[-]

Wide-Challenge-4874@reddit

Honestly 14+ depending on the teenagers.

[-]

PoolRamen@reddit

The others should stow their rotors imo

[-]

CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

It depends very much on the teens in question. I moved out at 16 and had my own place at 17 and never got in any bother. On the other hand there are some youngsters in their twenties who can barely be trusted or fend for themselves.

[-]

Historical_Cover1919@reddit

Echo everyone else. I used to travel 400 miles on a train to see my girlfriend at 15. They have to grow up sometime... things do happen but thats part of life you can't bubble wrap them forever.

[-]

Serious_Badger_4145@reddit

They could move out and live alone if they liked? Theyre 16

[-]

Fancy-Professor-7113@reddit

I'd trust my 14 year old but not my 17 year old 😂

You know your kid, you know their friends, you don't need our advice.

[-]

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.