Do you find going away REALLY stressful?

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Worried_Suit4820@reddit

I have found my tribe; I like the idea of a holiday, but the practice is very different.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

I've travelled a lot and had some amazing exoeriences, but nothing beats that first night back in your own bed.

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dan-kir@reddit

It's called being type A (guilty as charged)

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CryptographerMore944@reddit

I'm on holiday next week and this could be me! It's actually made my day a bit realising it's not just me!

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Yes. Usually I’m the one doing all the planning too. I don’t find holidays in the remotest bit relaxing, there are definitely places I actively want to visit at some point but mostly I just come back exhausted and needing a break.

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sourpatchnova@reddit

I don't find it stressful, despite struggling with anxiety. I think it's cause I'm always as organised as can be with to do lists, a pack list, etc. Usually packed earlier than I probably should be, give myself extra time at the airport in case anything happens, etc.

I imagine my anxiety helps in that I tend to be overly prepared to avoid situations that'll give me anxiety. Plus I enjoy travelling, I'm happy to sit on whatever transport for whatever amount of time knowing there is a holiday or adventure on the other end of it. I've had people tell me they admire that I can just book a hotel somewhere and fuck off for a few days by myself to explore for a bit.

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AshamedNetwork777@reddit

The coming home part, long haul flights, packing, forgetting to pack something and already being at the airport, and preparing to get back to work are the worst parts for me

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AirlineSevere7456@reddit

The "travelling" part is the most stressful bit, once you're there you can forget about it.

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Aggravating-Ant-6767@reddit

Ever since we moved to Wiltshire, getting to the actual airport is the biggest pain in the arse, we always go by train because I like to have the option to have a couple of beers on the day we fly home.

We go away once a month and honestly paying the extra money for decent flight times, an airport lounge, and a private car at the other end is super worth it for us- it makes me look forward to it instead of dreading the travel day.

The only thing that does stress me out is that I’ve packed all my medical supplies properly (I have T1D)- I always convince myself once at the airport that I’ve somehow left all my insulin at home.

In terms of packing, because we go away often I just have a big list on my phone and put an X next to it if it’s relevant for the place we’re going, then plan each days and nights outfits in advance to pack, definitely takes the stress out of it.

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LazyViolas@reddit

Once a month! I’d be in a state of constant anxiety..

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purehallion@reddit

my girlfriend is like this. thankfully im quite calm when it comes to all of this as i've done my fair bit of travelling both in groups and solo. Having a small mental checklist is a must for her. Know exactly where your Tickets, Passport, Phone, Wallet and any medication you need are at all times. With those things in hand you'll be fine, anything else is replaceable when you get there if you've forgotten it (which you almost certainly haven't but i get the anxiety)

Airports can be stressfull but with her i always make sure we are there very early. Like 3 or 4hrs early which is double what i would do if i were on my own but it puts her mind at ease. Then you can take your time through the airport, look at duty free, decide if and where you want to eat, get a coffee etc etc. Its all planned out so it makes it easier.

When it comes to work stress, i understand not everyone can do this depending on your job, but if you can delete your work email, teams, zoom etc etc. Delete everything and anything to do with work off your phone. If its really really really important they will call you and even then don't answer the first time they call. You're on holiday, act like it.

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Equivalent-Bison3510@reddit

Yep, I find it very stressful too. Having to go to unfamiliar countries where you don't speak the language, don't know where anything is, and have very little of your creature comforts. Why would you do that? Airports are also very stressful, being presumed guilty until proved innocent is horrible. Like others, none of this used to bother me, but now I've got older, it's more stress that it's worth.

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herwiththepurplehair@reddit

If I’m travelling alone, I’m absolutely fine. I’ve been to Australia twice by myself, with no issues at all.

Put my husband in the mix and it’s an entirely different story, because now I have to be responsible for HIM too. Have you got the passports? Have you got the tickets? What time is the flight? What gate is the flight?

Fun fact. People watching in an airport is great fun because I guarantee there will be a cluster of people gathered around a departure screen staring up at it hopefully, and 99% will be male. Try it next time you’re at an airport.

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Huffers1010@reddit

...don't get it.

I travel a lot for work, but even when I was new to it, it was always an adventure. These days it's sometimes at 18 hours notice, but I know where my passport is and I have (almost) global travel insurance perpetually.

Mostly, you know you're travelling. You've got weeks to prepare, usually. You know where your passport is. You can Google for common problems and make sure you have your paperwork in order.

In the days leading up to the flight you'll make sure you have everything lined up.

If there's a massive holdup on the way to the airport, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it... then there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Sigh deeply. Often airlines are helpful if you're pleasant, but if not, it's an insurance claim.

Just think it through to the worst possible case scenario, which is generally "this is going to be expensive" even if it's not an insured loss.

Now try working in media and having to go to places where you might have to pay your way across a border. That's when it becomes a bit nerve-wracking.

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fergie_89@reddit

You sound like my husband OP.

We go on holiday Sunday and he is already stressed. He's panic buying and packing and is chaos.

I am calm (considering I have ADHD). I have packed my carry on which has all his snacks, passport, money and my entertainment for the flight. He says I pack more but I don't. Even decanted shampoo into smaller bottles for weight as he intends to buy whiskey. I also have several packs of sweets and chewing gum in my bag for him for his panic laiden attacks when we are flying. I just need to pack my suitcase which 🤷‍♀️ long as I have suncream and a swim suit I'm good.

My out of office is scheduled to go on at 3pm tomorrow, I've got my update ready to send my boss and team but I know I'll get work anxiety while away.

What I will note about my husband is he is a highly paid contractor and in tech, he stresses about details, the weather, the flights, timings etc. I try to combat this by booking us into lounges so he can relax and have screens nearby showing takeoff/gate announcements.

We work well together as a team, he's chaos until the day before the flight and well, long as I have my swim suit, sunscreen and passport I'm happy!

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Yamosu@reddit

I don't find it stressful but being a big bloke, legroom and seat width makes it uncomfortable.

Not gone overseas for over five years mind you as can't afford it. Would be happy with a week in North Yorkshire to be honest.

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Mickleborough@reddit

No. Would making a checklist help?

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

Long been done

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Mickleborough@reddit

Hm. Not sure why you suffer this level of anxiety, and you should know what you need to pack by now. Sorry, probably not very helpful!

I‘ve a routine now, so it’s fairly seamless.

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

I do know what I need to pack. I’ve made lists. And I’ve already stated that’s not issue.

No offence but you sound like a bit of a dickhead.

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Mickleborough@reddit

Sorry, trying to be sympathetic but I guess it doesn’t come across via the written word.

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

Odd, plenty of other people manage it. Must be a you thing.

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Same-Age-1891@reddit

I used to find travel stressful like you and i understand how the fear can eat you up.

Don’t worry about work if they complain then they are being toxic, it’s not on you plus couldn’t you have your email app in case just to turn on put of office and then off you go

As for the stress of it you have 2 choices go stupid or go home [staycation]

You might decide to live the rest of your life to visit the Peak District, that’s no way to live honestly… there’s so much beauty out there

It might be worth jumping into a small week solo travelling, plan a couple of destinations that have good connections maybe by trains or coach, stay in hostels (once you learn to stay in them 3 star hotels feel luxurious) and then make mistakes and you’ll become more resilient

I’ve learned you can feel better travelling with a backpack than a suitcase as backpacks can be normal evryday

That made holidays with my partner easy, yes planning can be a pain when you find the catch to why those flights were so cheap (oh £200 taxi) but that’s the excitement, if the destination doesn’t look good try somewhere else and keep going…

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toady89@reddit

Honestly I just don't find it stressful at all. I've had trips where I've done all my packing in the hour before I leave the house and others where I've had to run to catch the one an hour bus to the airport and still not really been stressed. If I forget something (passport excluded) I can live without it or buy a replacement, miss the bus and I phone for a taxi or grab my car and deal with expensive parking, miss the flight and I book another.

Work will cope if I've forgotten to hand something over, the key for that is making sure you're never the only person aware of information and I maintain that whether I've got leave planned or not.

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

That’s fair, I do think I’m a sucker for sweating the small stuff. Having to fork out £30 for a new charger might sting a bit, but isn’t going to ruin your trip. I do need more chill.

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1182990@reddit

In the nicest possible way, you do. The stress shouldn't ruin your holiday. CBT might be helpful.

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Twenty_Ten@reddit

CBT?

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1182990@reddit

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

Stops ruminating and spiralling about anxious thoughts.

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toady89@reddit

The closest I've been to being stressed was when I had a connecting flight and the first was delayed, as we landed they listed all the connections that hadn't been missed and didn't include mine. The next connecting flight would mean I'd miss the band I'd booked the trip and music festival for. However it was all out of my control so a bit pointless worrying about it and the rest of the trip would still have been enjoyable.

As it happened my connecting flight was more delayed than their boards said (or they held it but missing take off slots is expensive), and I had time to spend the €7 voucher they gave me for the first delay.

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Mr_Bumcrest@reddit

Bully for you

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Asuranath@reddit

Nope. I really don't find going away/travelling to be stressful at all really. If anything I'm generally pretty Zen about it all. Dunno if it's because I generally travel solo, so I only have myself to worry about or what, but it's something I find exciting more than anything else.

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Shantay-i-sway@reddit

Yes, 100%. I feel nothing but stress and dread in the build up. I’m also neurodivergent so that may play into it. For me it is too many variables out of my control. Have I packed everything, do i have insurance/ remembered passport. Will we get through security ok, will flight be on time, will luggage arrive, will transfer arrive, will hotel be what i booked….. I cannot relax until all that is over and then it’s 12-24 hours for the stress/adrenaline to fade so i can relax and try and enjoy myself. Then the same stresses again for the journey home. Doesn’t help that i also have to do all the booking/planning/packing for me, husband and kids/leaving house in right condition etc. Not to mention what is happening at work while I’m gone. I know i have a problem - i should be able to enjoy a holiday - but i just cant

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decentlyfair@reddit

Hate, hate, hate the palaver of fucking flying, loathe airports, get stressed with security shite. Having said that I do subject myself to this about 3/4 times a year. As for airports, I hate the expense of everything in the damn place, mostly difficult to eat as a vegan, nasty vile places. However, when I have arrived wherever it may be it is worth it. Always ready to come home these days though, when I was younger holidays were always too short, now I am old and wrinkled I am ready to come home. As for packing, i do it the night before and the only pre prep would be making sure clothes I needed are clean. If I forget anything it isn’t going to be world ending.

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Exxtraa@reddit

I absolutely hate flying. Why in 2026 must we turn up 3+ hours before a flight. It’s just constantly waiting. Anxiety over getting there in time with traffic etc. Security queues. Delays. Now the EES system. Then trains, buses and taxis the other side. Checking in. Its longggggg.

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south_by_southsea@reddit

EES really does add to the stress now. We had a right nightmare exiting from Olbia (Sardinia). There was clearly a system fault as the e-gates were rejecting most people and we had to be processed manually which took about five minutes per person as the system was failing to work properly. The staff didn’t really know what was going wrong and kept sending us back to the registration booths to try again which was pointless. The registration on the way in upon arrival took seconds and we experienced no delays on arrival but we would absolutely have missed our return flight if easyJet hadn’t kept open the gate (thank goodness there was only one flight leaving at that time).

Even before EES, travel into the EU had already got worse with bad queues for border checks in Tenerife, Lisbon etc. from what I have seen (although fortunately never experienced).

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Exxtraa@reddit

It’s making me so nervous for the height of summer. The whole thing is a shambles. If they want photos and scans then how hard is it to have a system that works - do your scan once then use the e-gates every other time. Of course that’s too simple. And then like you say when you have to use the manned desks there’ll only ever be 2 out of 10 ever in operation 😭

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idekkanymoree_@reddit

I think im tooo relaxed. I’ve been abroad twice over the past two years and always do things last minute. Last year my brother picked us up because we stay at his the night before cus he lives closer to a big airport and i was packing my carry on whilst they were getting in the car, didn’t even know if i had my passport. My biggest fear is forgetting my underwear tbh

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tommycahil1995@reddit

As someone with OCD, it sounds like you have OCD

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gowithflow192@reddit

Yep I find it stressful, it's like a path to out yourself on with a countdown. No much different to moving house or going into hospital. It doesn't help that I have genuine OCD!

I enjoy myself once on holiday but I'm not sure it's worth all the stress.

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Bossman_Mike@reddit

Wouldn't say stressful, I just don't particularly enjoy doing it.

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pajamakitten@reddit

Then there is the house:

house fire
house being broken in to
burst water pipe
gas leak

Even worse if you have pets being looked after by someone else too. There are so many things that could happen while you are away and you could easily return to something awful having happened.

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south_by_southsea@reddit

I was never really a cat person but then we adopted one and now on holiday I probably think about her six times a day, worrying about ridiculous scenarios that would never happen (even when safely looked after by people we trust)

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stickyjam@reddit

You've made a routine of it. Need to minimise it all. Packing? Passport and wallet anything else is a bonus. Get to the airport early, go the gate on time. Anything else is a bonus.

Signed, a guy who went to the Caribbean last year with 2 pairs of boxers. Nevermind. Had a great time.

you're just coming at it with a get it all right system, when really aim for just enough and appreciate the extras

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No-Garbage9500@reddit

I find the preparing for the holiday no problem: I genuinely struggle to see how some people find it so difficult, because it usually boils down to them making it difficult for themselves. You need passport, means of paying for stuff, clothes for every day, whatever toiletries you require, your devices and chargers. It takes half an hour to pack for a holiday.

And to be honest, at least 75% of that is optional too. If you forget all your pants you just go to a shop and buy more.

What is absolutely unavoidable and important on a holiday? Your passport, some way of paying for things, and making sure your life-or-death responsibilities at home are taken care of (kids, pets & care responsibilities if you're leaving them).

If you forget anything else, the world isn't going to change. If you've got money to go on holiday, you've got money to fix any mistakes you make for a few days while you're there. Work in particular can fuck right off, if someone's upset they didn't get an out of office email but wasn't bothered enough to actually call the office then that's their problem.

That said... while I find the preparation no problem, I'm also yet to experience a holiday I've been on where I've categorically enjoyed myself more than I would have just being at home and not having to work. I don't dislike it, it just never seems worth it. I just think what I could spend the money on at home that would give me more pleasure.

My wife likes travelling and I don't dislike it enough to just say "go without me" so we do plenty but if I found out tomorrow I could never get on a plane again I think I'd mainly feel a gentle relief.

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ScaredCrowww@reddit

I was just talking to my partner about this today my gosh! We’ve been planning a holiday on and off for months now.. Things keep coming up, work, sickness, family things, then war, natural disasters etc. My partner is so stressed from looking every other day trying to find a good deal, we finally decided on something soon then I get a nasty ear infection coming up. Then it’s so stressful having to collect/pack everything and get it together, go away for 10 days, unpack there, then pack again, come back and whoosh it’s gone in the blink of an eye.. Time to start planning the next one! 🥲

We also used to love going to the airport and flying but now it just feels so stressful with everything that’s going on that I kinda wish we could just teleport there and back!

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muffinator@reddit

Nope. I have a holiday check list which I go through each time and it’s grown with each holiday. Systematic and means I can just enjoy the excitement of the buildup

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MountainMuffin1980@reddit

No. I think my wife would say it's because she does all the stressing but if I've booked my ticket, have it digitally, have my passport, have packed my bag and know when I need to leave the next day...what is there to worry about?

I have zero thoughts about work once I've logged off.

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pajamakitten@reddit

...what is there to worry about?

How long have you got?

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MountainMuffin1980@reddit

All night mate. I'm talking about things in your control. Not weather/flight csmcelletc

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PhilosophyFormer4609@reddit

Whats she stressing about? Do you have children to bring?

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Ravo93@reddit

The holiday itself no, but I find flying stressful and tiring. Doesn't matter where you fly from or to it's always lots of waiting around doing nothing and sitting in an uncomfortable chair with no leg room. If I going to Belgium, northern France, Amsterdam I'd much rather get the train.

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Chamerlee@reddit

Going away for the first time in like 7 years. And with a nearly 4 year old in tow.

So fucking stressful.

We live in Scotland so no summer clothes. New wardrobe for the whole family. I’ve been packing for about 3 weeks.

Little bits and bobs here. Enough sun cream, toys, clothes, toiletries. Do we have this and that.

Yeh. I’m super stressed.

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Zealousideal-Ask5822@reddit

Complete opposite - love travelling and get excited about everything. I even romanticise the overpriced coffee in the airport to start the trip off. Long haul flights can be a bit more taxing but generally if you are going to Europe there's not loads to stress about

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CrowApprehensive204@reddit

Yes, makes me bad, even packing makes me stressed. It doesn't help that himself wants to get to the airport four hours before and then our flight is inevitably delayed or boards on time and then sits on the tarmac for ages. And now it's all gone to shit the other end. We had three holidays one after each other with terrible weather. Seriously can't be bothered with it all.

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Prestigious_Leg7821@reddit

I find the build up really stressful - often because I put unrealistic expectations on myself (the house must be immaculate before I leave!!) I do find tho that it helps with jet lag as the minute I step foot on the plane I relax and fall asleep as the adrenaline has finally left my body 🤣

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Antique_Committee268@reddit

I'm like you, the build up stresses me out so much 😭 I hate packing, I stress about my animals if I've handed over properly, work is mental before I go away. But as soon as I'm in my holiday accomodation I'm chill and happy. For me holidays are worth a shit week before hand.

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mikolv2@reddit

Yes. Any slight benefit to being in a nicer place is outweighed by utter stress of travel, leaving home, sleeping in another bed so I just don't do it. Day trips are much better.

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Alwayslearnin41@reddit

I travelled a lot both before and with my children. I always loved packing up and going on an adventure. I loved packing, getting all the little plane bags packed, organising the house so it would be clean and ready for our return.

Now I find it really stressful. I get sad at the thought of going away from home and there's so much to do. And now it's mostly just me and hubby, or maybe a teenager or two if they'll grace us with their presence.

I prefer short trips within an hour or two of home. Those I can cope with. I hate flying now.

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jessexpress@reddit

For some reason every time I fly out I get anxious a few days before, not really of the flying itself but just constantly worrying that something’ll go wrong or I’ve somehow booked myself on with completely incorrect passport details and they won’t let me board. I only really relax when I’ve gone through security at my destination (and even then probably after I’ve checked into my hotel and that’s all gone through too lol). I used to worry more about forgetting to pack stuff but you can replace almost anything except your passport or bank cards at the end of the day.

For some reason I never worry about the return journey, I figure they’ll want to kick me out of the country eventually so I’m definitely getting back one way or another. The outward journey is more stressful I think because it has the threat of the whole holiday somehow falling through and wasting all that money (although my brain hasn’t explained to me yet what exact convoluted process would have to happen for that to take place).

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Latte-Addict@reddit

No. I love the planning leading up to it, it helps me cope with the stresses of current job, and life in general.

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tommodacoolio@reddit

I had the same anxiety for years, not just about travel but about life in general. Driving somewhere unfamiliar, meeting new people, you name it.

It took a lot of personal work and self reflection but I managed to overcome it by changing my mindset and forcing myself in to the uncomfortable situations that I was dreading. Now I travel solo every other month on multiple week long multiple city trips taking planes and trains everywhere and I love it.

The mindset I have achieved means my outlook is now not to worry, especially about things I can't control. I can't control if there is an issue with a flight, a train, a taxi. So it wasted energy and stress to worry. Similarly if my flight back to the UK or to my next city is cancelled then I'm having an extended holiday wherever I am and I will enjoy it. I have travel insurance to cover any additional costs due to this and I will deal with the consequences with my employer etc when I return. Most of these things work themselves out.

I fully appreciate that this approach and mindset is not for everyone but I would encourage anybody to give it a go. It changed my life. A few years ago I would have been too nervous and worried to get a train to London, now I'm travelling entire countries. Believe in yourself.

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superjambi@reddit

I used to be such an anxious traveller. I would be so, so anxious about getting to the airport on time, something going wrong, connecting flights, this, that, you name it I was anxious about it.

Then, I and my partner of four years and fiancée split up, and I have travelled multiple times completely anxiety free since then.

Sometimes, it's not about the travel, it's about something else.

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latrappe@reddit

Oh boy this is me too. Even though my wife and son are with me and I'm not doing things alone, I get stressed about airport queues and getting there early, worry about picking up the rental car or even that the apartment won't be ready or key pickup will be bad.

I've done these things loads. Yet I'll still fret and play it out in my head over and over. I have credit cards, worst case I arrive and everything goes to shit, I can just get a cab to a hotel and book a new hotel the next day. I'm really secure and safe and have options, easy options....but tell my brain that the week coming up to a trip? It won't believe you.

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veganfoolsdontrule@reddit

Yes. Especially when I'm supposed to be flying to Abu Dhabi next Thursday.

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Intelligent_Put_3606@reddit

I'm fine with the documents, but have bad task paralysis with packing.

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Jamie2556@reddit

I have had a few problems with flights and it stresses me out so much I spend most of the holiday vaguely stressing about the flight back. I can’t really relax because it’s always at the back of my mind. I have had a couple of great trips to France on the Eurostar though lately as I don’t seem to have the same anxiety around trains. So my future is now going to be more land based I think.

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ermCaz@reddit

I hate holidays because I have to come back.. if I am to travel again in my lifetime, I'd like to quit my job then travel for a year at least.

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damned-n-doomed@reddit

Nope. The excitement for the holiday outweighs any stress.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

There isn’t even any stress, it’s all excitement.

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SnackOverflow90@reddit

Not in the slightest. I don’t worry about anything.

I pack my back without too much care. I ensure I have my phone, passport, some cash and two credit cards. As long as I have those, nothing can go wrong.

I do fly pretty often so I’m also very used to it.

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PopperDilly@reddit

I hate both the actual travel and not being at home.

Travel is stressful, lots of anxiety, I'm gluten free so eating in airports is a nightmare and you're exhausted constantly.

Being actually away from home isn't for me. I like my own bed, my own shower. I miss my family and pets.

For these reasons I prefer short trips away in the UK.

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Appropriate-Rate-336@reddit

Yes I’ve def become more like this. I hate not being my in my own bed!

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CryptographerMore944@reddit

Yes! I've done a bit of travelling in my younger days. Now I'd prefer to just spend a couple of days in the Lakes or Snowdonia and a few staycations at home over a week or two abroad.

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TheFortyFourthSunset@reddit

I like the idea of going away and staying somewhere nice but the reality is, if I’m not in my own bed then I’ll sleep terribly.

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Appropriate-Rate-336@reddit

We used to travel lots by since Covid and having kids I just can’t be bothered. I’m more lazy than stressed about it all. I never find holidays relaxing anyway - just parenting in a new environment with zero home comforts.

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luala@reddit

I do all the planning for trips for my family and yes I find it very stressful. There are just a lot of moving parts and I’m carrying them all. Since Covid I’ve been really funny about going overseas - partly because we’re frugal and it seems so expensive but also because it just seemed to add more things that could go wrong. I’ve been a confident traveller in the past but I have a kid and pets to worry about now, it doesn’t seem relaxing to have to plan a trip for everyone’s needs.

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ItsDominare@reddit

Nah. I find the behaviour of people who waste all their time worrying about every little thing pretty baffling tbh.

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ProfPMJ-123@reddit

No, I’m the other end of the spectrum, it’s absolutely no bother for me.

I’ve always been pretty relaxed about travel, but in my 20s and early 30s I was on the road for a living. I would do at least 200 nights a year in hotels, and 3-4 long hauls per month.

You get extremely good at it.

I can pack for however many days I’m going to be away for in about five minutes. I know exactly where everything is. I’m comfortable getting to the airport at the last minute, and know I’ll be able to get through and on the plane no problems. I know when I get to the other end, regardless of which country, I’ll be able to figure out my onward travel.

You just get good at it.

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jelly10001@reddit

I love it once I'm actually on holiday, but in the run up I do get nervous about flight delays or cancellations, the possibility of long queues at passport control and the fear I might get sick when I'm due to go away and have to cancel my holiday.

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dobbynobson@reddit

Yes. Just came back from a long weekend in Europe, for a wedding. It was absolutely amazing and totally worth it. But.

The week before my stomach was notted up. There's no specific reason, just my brain in worry overdrive. Have I booked the right dates (the right year even)? Did I check in with my passport correctly, or type a wrong number like an idiot? Have I remembered paperwork/got things on my phone? Have I given other people the right paperwork? Insurance? Have I got the bag drop time right? Phone charged up? Phone charger in bag? Did I book annual leave? Did I pack the right shoes or will I get blisters? Have I done all the work stuff that needed doing? Did I book a hotel? In the right city??

Going to the airport it's the same but intensified - have I left enough time? Will the train be cancelled? Will there be queues? Did I somehow pack a litre of liquid without realising it? Will I get stopped or my bag searched? Did I pack a bomb by mistake? Will the electronic gates work? Will the plane be delayed? Will I end up going back home with everything cancelled? Did I turn off the gas/water/hair straighteners? I know the hair straighteners are in my travel bag, but even so, did I turn them off?

It's just endless. I can never get the internal monologue of peril and disaster to shut up, even with podcasts in my ears constantly, and if I'm travelling with someone I have to self-sensor all the time and not just endlessly chatter about what-ifs? It means a 4 day weekend comes with 2 days of stomach churn on the travelling days and a week of ambient worry and stress dreams about packing before I leave. I'd love to know how other people manage it.

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pedstachu1@reddit

I think it has a great deal to do with the history of travel. Historically, air travel and luxurious travel by ocean liner was for the 1%. You stepped aboard a beautiful craft that was meant to pleasure and cocoon you in a myriad of pleasantries and soft excitement. That is the idea that modern air travel is built on, but today’s air travel is very different. You’re not getting out of your rolls and being met by a pleasant steward to your large seat, you’re canned into a packed air freight with barely an inch to yourself, with an airline that maximises efficiency and low cost above your pleasure. Essentially, modern air travel is hugely distinct from its luxurious origin, and it doesn’t suprise me that in this race-to-the-bottom, some people are logically very turned off by air travel and the chaos and stress it brings.

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REidson89@reddit

I am so glad to read this post! I feel like there's something wrong with me and I've made myself feel so awful for the last couple of weeks that I've been really questioning my mental health and just looking forward to life when I'm back. How ridiculous. I fly on Saturday. If I was single I think I'd be happy not to go on holiday.

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U9365@reddit

Yes - so that I never now go on holiday anymore.

I've had like others on here the overbooked hotel, the flight delays, missed connections, one engine failure and the lost luggage. The general horrors of the airport which are beyond the pale: the RSPCA wold prosecutre if you treated animals this this. Finally as a single person I get given the hotel room mostly next to the elevator, in the basement or in the roof eaves, or over the all night bar....cos they seem to think it funny and hope that I won't complain despite me paying a single person's supplement to be basically abused and ignored.

So its simple for me now I'll sit at home, not go skiing and the rest and relax by doing nowt.

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snapper1971@reddit

I don't but my wife does and it becomes a really stressful time for everyone.

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quinc3_paste@reddit

I have general packing lists on my phone well in advance for different types of holidays (i.e. one for summer or warm climates, one for winter or colder climates, one for weekends, one for long longer trips). I adapt the relevant one slightly as I get closer to the holiday. This takes a lot of the stress out of the run-up for me. That said, I absolutely do experience what you describe. I have to convince myself that it’s ok not to deep clean my entire flat in advance every time I go away.

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FantasticWeasel@reddit

Yup, pre-holiday anxiety is huge, but I love to travel so just acknowledge it and remind myself it will pass.

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Melodicmat@reddit

me too. I'd love holidays if I could just be transported to the destination, but the whole travelling thing (I detest airports for example. I find the whole thing confusing, tbh!! I'm pretty slow!) stressful. There's other aspects of it I hate, too.

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Dutch_Slim@reddit

I do, and I know exactly why.

It’s given me agoraphobia, which has obviously made going away even worse!

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yearsofpractice@reddit

Hey OP. 50 years old old married father of two here. I work a senior corporate job and have had similar thoughts to you. This may seem drastic, but therapy helped me with some of the symptoms you’re describing.

I had therapy following a breakdown due to work. With all the tools I learned during therapy, I’m much more able to handle the kinds of stressors you’re experiencing.

Whereas pre-therapy, I’d have lost my mind trying to ensure I had packed precisely everything My family and I needed (including, obviously, three pairs of underwear per day for when I will apparently shit myself, which I’d never done before in my entire life)… post therapy, I’m able to focus on the positive outcomes and rationalise the priorities and non-negotiables. As a family, our non-negotiables are my son and wife’s EpiPens, our passports and credit cards and debit cards. Everything else - literally everything else that we forget - can be purchased when we’re on holiday

Similarly with work, I can now rationalise things. Pre-therapy, my entire world was consumed by “Right. This time is where I get found out. Unless everything is prepared perfectly before I leave, the company will fall apart and I will be sacked and never work again and we will lose the house, our lives… I’m just going to take my work phone and laptop because absolutely no-one else will be able to keep this entire company afloat other than me” You’ll know that line of thinking. Post therapy, my mindset is “I’ll do an handover with my boss two days before I leave and remember that all of this silliness will still be here when I get back. When other people go on holiday, we cover for them. That’s what will happen for me too. Byeeeeee!”

Therapy has me the tools to deal with these faulty ways of thinking. My life is unrecognisable since then.

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TobblyWobbly@reddit

I hate the stress of flying and what could go wrong when I'm out of the country. I didn't used to be so bad, until one day I didn't wake up and had to be airlifted to hospital. That left me with a poor immune system, and as I was always prone to catching nasty stuff on planes and not enjoying the holiday anyway...

My darling husband likes to tell me that I'm paranoid and negative, but he can eff off. He's not the one at risk. He just goes on his own, and I stick to the UK holidays.

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Fattydog@reddit

I travel a lot. You really only need your passport, travel insurance policy number and phone number, your phone, plug converters, your house keys and a debit/credit card or two.

Everything else you can buy at a push.

As for airport delays, there’s nothing you can do about these so there’s no point worrying.

I’ve had flights cancelled, flights turned around mid flight, airports evacuated, hotels with no rooms (despite being booked)… and honestly it all works out ok in the end.

One thing, if you ever need a hotel now, try a website called Hotel Tonight. The normal hotel sites often won’t offer hotels for the same day/night.

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doegrey@reddit

I do but I write a list, I also have a standing holiday list as well.

Having a partner with absolutely no sense of urgency about travel’s no help either!

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Unstableavo@reddit

Surprisingly considering how anxious I am. I dont find it stressful. I like to plan alot. If I was going with other people it would probably be easier to go with the flow. The only thing I'm bad at is flying.

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ReactionCreepy428@reddit

I do, very jealous of people who can just enjoy it, I'm always on edge.

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PhilosophyFormer4609@reddit

The most stressful part is seeing the money leave my bank account 😢

What stresses me out is realising how poorly run, shit and depressing the uk is once I have to fly back :/

Going from bristol airport to brandeburg airport humbled me beyond belief. I was literally greeted by a marble megastructure that played smooth jazz as I went down the escalator. I got back to bristol and its literally office ceiling with 0 natural light and shitty food.

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PhysTech9@reddit

I don't really worry about the travel aspect, it's more just that my passport is leaving the safe place it is kept and if I lose it I'm screwed

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bars_and_plates@reddit

I'm completely the opposite, it baffles me that people get so stressed about flights.

If you miss it then you miss it. You won't, but if you do, the world will not fall apart.

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Alundra828@reddit

Going away is always stressful.

When I go away, I do it for the experience, not to relax. The last holiday I went on, which was ostensibly to relax on a Mediterranean cruise, I actually got a streak of grey through my beard.

My body just doesn't like me doing things.

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srogijogi@reddit

No, this is not normal.

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Super-Surround-4347@reddit

I never did previously, but tomorrow is my first flight with a child. He's 18 months and it's three hours. Absolutely dreading it.

I've borrowed a tablet especially so he can watch Mr Tumble. Hopefully this, toys, snacks and a nap will see us through.

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Swimming-Lie5369@reddit

RIP everyone on the flight that has to listen to Mr Tumble

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Super-Surround-4347@reddit

Haha I'm definitely not that parent. He's just as mesmerised with the sound off or near silent

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littlehamster_@reddit

The anxiety of a holiday is enough that it spoils the holiday for me. I get so anxious in the lead up, then about midway through the holiday I start getting anxious about the travel home (packing, transfer, airport, going back to work). We tend to reduce the stress by sticking to UK holidays which we can drive to so we can just set off when we want.

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Swimming-Lie5369@reddit

I get travel anxiety on the day of travel, but I chalk it up to part of the fun. It's good to be out of your comfort zone sometimes, and it feels great when you get to where you're staying and the anxiety turns to excitement.

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mattcannon2@reddit

This time last year? Nah easy peasy.

I have a 5 month old now. Even going somewhere for a whole day panicks me a little.

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thebeesbollocks@reddit

The amount of equipment they need at that age is fucking absurd!

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FraggleGoddess@reddit

I do. I hadn't been abroad in 20 years until my Dad took me in 2024. I needed a "proper" grown up to sort it and tell me what to do (I'm 44 haha). I managed a weekend in Jersey with a group of people I trust but not sure I'd fly just me / just with my spouse.

Instead, we go relatively locally for wee holidays. Luckily Scotland is full of beautiful and interesting places in a quite short driving distance.

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thebeesbollocks@reddit

I never used to. Used to love every step of the journey and have a great time. But now since having children, every trip we’ve been on has been a logistical nightmare - Taking a buggy on a Ryanair plane with a 1 year old and 3 year old and disabled father-in-law is not a fun experience.

I’m know it’ll get easier when the kids are older but currently the thought of a big trip kind of fills me with dread, even though I have always loved holidays

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Whodeytim@reddit

Not at all, I just got back from a trip last week and have just booked the next one for the start of June. I pretty much always have a travel bag ready with toiletries, converters chargers and passport etc, only thing I need to pack is clothes.

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DollySheep32@reddit

I've got to the point where travel has a basic check-list of passport, driving license, credit card, medication and pants. I can buy clothes there if I forget my pyjamas (like last time) and food, shampoo and toothbrushes tends to be available on all continents.

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wafflespuppy@reddit

I do worry and get stressed, I have to double check everything. Luckily for me I can't afford to travel anywhere so it's not an issue anymore

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TepacheLoco@reddit

This sounds like a dealing with stress problem rather than a travel problem

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daniluvsuall@reddit

A bit yes, I travelled a lot with work over the last ten years and one of the best things it’s taught me is to worry less. I don’t get as stressed travelling.

But this was 100% me in the past. More often than not now it’s organising what to do, tickets etc and I usually want to eat all the things so finding foodie spots

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escapingfromelba@reddit

Sounds way out of proportion and rather self-indulgent. And I say this as someone who gets annoyed by airports and the logistics of travel - that can be mitigated somewhat by throwing some time and some money at smoothing it of course.

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ohsaycanyourock@reddit

Preparing for and going away on holiday is the happiest time of my life! I went solo to Seoul last year and the day before I was a bit nervous, but otherwise it was all an adventure and I felt so capable and confident once I got back.

I always remind myself there is a solution for nearly everything, so don't stress unnecessarily about the 'what ifs' - as long as you're prepared you will be fine!

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zephyrmox@reddit

I do not worry about any of those things that you talk about. They do not even register as concerns.

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Business-Pie-8419@reddit

Yep. This is is me. Never used to be - I would be super excited before a trip. Now, I'm filled with dread. No fear of flying or anything, just all the things you mentioned! And some others. I can barely sleep the few days before a trip, going over in my head "have I got this and that", and the night before a trip I usually don't get any sleep at all. I also now get toilet anxiety due to IBS, so I either don't eat at all or barely eat the day before a trip. Being on a plane and not being able to just get up and use the loo (e.g. during take off / turbulence) or at an airport queuing for something, or in the taxi / train to the hotel etc. Ugh! I am usually fine as soon as we get to where we're going though. Quite annoying as traveling used to be my main hobby!

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

Oh yeah, my list is by no means exhaustive. It goes on and on and on and on

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Business-Pie-8419@reddit

And then when you are away, what if your house gets broken into / spontaneously combusts?! What if war breaks out and you get stuck somewhere? What if you get sick and don't have suitable treatment options (this happened to me when I broke my knee in Andorra while traveling there solo).

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TomLondra@reddit

Before I retired I had to fly very frequently; my life was all taxis, time zones, checking in and out, hotels, hurried meals, airports, and at least one flight situation that could have killed me along with everyone else on board. Now that I am retired I don't want to go anywhere, I never want to fly again (thereby helping to save the planet) and I HATE AIRPORTS. I never want to be in an airport again. I'm happy now. I don't want to go anywhere further than the local library.

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

Local libraries are great, I love mine!

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DameKumquat@reddit

Alone? A doddle.

With autistic kids, with or without spouse? Yeah, so much to go wrong.

Me, if I've got my tickets and passport, spare knickers and a paperback in my pocket, and my phone and credit cards, I'm fine.

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Nice1rodders@reddit

With my family, yes. In my own, no.

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salutdamour@reddit

I travel frequently so not anymore. I think it’s something you get used to. My parents live a plane ride away so I fly 4 (at least) times a year to see them

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blazesboylan91@reddit (OP)

I fly at least 4 times a year myself, doesn’t seem to make any difference if I’m honest

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