Wife said I eat like a dog on his birthday

They literally have the same bottle or not almost identical, I accidentally used it once thinking it was the cock sauce, but no- chili sauce. It's really savory and sweet, like Chinese BBQ sauce but spicy

[-]

HumanClay9925@reddit

Putting melon in the same bowl as what appears to be meat snd cheese is diabolical

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

Cucumber

[-]

HumanClay9925@reddit

Putting melon in the same bowl as what appears to be meet and cheese is diabolical

[-]

HumanClay9925@reddit

Putting melon in the same bowl as what appears to be meat and cheese is diabolical

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

Cucumber

[-]

PrizeTime2595@reddit

I once made lentils and ground meat browned up together, someone on here called it boy kibble and I haven't been able to not call it that since.

[-]

Th3NinjaCat@reddit

That sounds delicious.

[-]

PrizeTime2595@reddit

Little bit of ricotta and salt n pepper, it was really nice actually lol

[-]

snowpsychic@reddit

Sounds gross. Bland lentils, mystery meat, with a little ricotta? You hit all the notes, no flavor plus mushiness. Some canned mushrooms would have achieved peak mushiness. My father used to cook like this, read dozens of fancy cookbooks, and ignored their lessons about fresh vegetables, homemade pasta, and the best of both, homemade fresh vegetable soups. I hope you don't torment your future children with that slop.

[-]

PrizeTime2595@reddit

Jesus Christ it's 2 am and I just woke up. You're so aggressive.

I boiled it down for comments sake, it as actually alittle nicer than the description here. Firstly, it was home-done ground venison with pork trim. And the lentils I had parboiled in various seasonings I can't remember off the dome, but I know there was a bay leaf in there. I browned the meat, drained most of the extra grease, and added shit like salt, and smoked paprika. I threw the lentils in there and added a lil spoon full of butter. Let it brown up alittle, dish it up, and add a dollop of ricotta on there with some black pepper and maybe some franks red hot if that's your thing.

Does my fucking food prep sound more palatable to you now? Lol

[-]

GarlicButterChrist@reddit

New Bachelor Chow: now with flavor!

[-]

Expensive_Day_3781@reddit

And?

[-]

FLOHTX@reddit

Poor pup

[-]

mahnamahna123@reddit

Yeah if my dog ate that she'd be weeing out of her arse.

[-]

Xfuck1tX@reddit

gif

[-]

Jeramy_Jones@reddit

gif

[-]

ButtChugMcNuggetson@reddit

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 she nailed it

[-]

hotsjelly@reddit

Made a lentil and meat mix once, then a person here said “boy kibble” and now I be calling it that ever since

[-]

butlerkennedy@reddit

Lmao

[-]

Interesting_Event_68@reddit

gif

[-]

lvndrhnds@reddit

hey the other day my boyfriend asked me "is there anything special we can add to your food bowl for you this week?" and he was completely serious so at least you aren't alone.

[-]

MothershipConnection@reddit

Damn she got you bruh

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

But muh protein

[-]

AlienKatze@reddit

which of course means your food has to be terrible

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

This shit was delicious

[-]

MothershipConnection@reddit

You're a very healthy dog

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

Am I a good boy?

[-]

Stickz99@reddit

you should be asking your wife that brother

[-]

messedupmessup12@reddit

I bet your coat is so shiny

[-]

1MechanicalAlligator@reddit

I have a super shiny coat. It's shitty polyester.

[-]

jmaca90@reddit

The bestest goodest boye

gif

[-]

siriusmagnuss@reddit

The goodest boi

[-]

Grimm-Soul@reddit

gif

[-]

AMetalWolfHowls@reddit

That’s r/rareinsults territory there!

[-]

Mochibelle93@reddit

Slop bowl ☺️

[-]

andyman30@reddit

My friend group calls this man-mix. Efficiency!

[-]

ILoveStealing@reddit

She cooked your ass

[-]

Palanki96@reddit

Hopefully a dog would eat better

[-]

SentientDivaCup@reddit

Looking at JUST this image, you’re either jacked or just in construction so you eat for efficiency

[-]

AngryMikesSauces@reddit

Is that fruit or veggie? Defo not construction

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

It's cucumber

[-]

ReelestPrincess12@reddit

Lol she could've kept that to her mf self

[-]

freakmeout123@reddit

this looks good

[-]

6irlfriend@reddit

your coat is gonna be so healthy and shiny

[-]

_IBM_@reddit

I see nothing wrong with eating or this food.

[-]

InSearchOfTyrael@reddit

well.. happy birthday man

[-]

OmegaKarnov@reddit

Actually, dogs shouldn't have that much protein

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

They're literally carnivores dude

[-]

OmegaKarnov@reddit

They're omnivores. You're thinking of cats.

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

That's an obligate carnivore.

[-]

Sunshineyvomit@reddit

Bahahah- your wife is funny. I’d eat some of that though- with some carrots, hummus…. Now I’m hungry

[-]

AccomplishedAside314@reddit

At least it's the dogs birthday...could've been that you eat like a dog on a regular day. Oof.

[-]

ulnek@reddit

I thought you meant you ate this during your wife's birthday and I kept reading it to try and make sense 😅

[-]

SlimTeezy@reddit

Eat some veggies and fruits boy, you're gonna get scurvy

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

Do you not see the fruit in the bowl

[-]

Legal-Blacksmith9423@reddit

TIL that I, too, eat like a dog.

[-]

rbarr228@reddit

“It looks like a dog’s dinn-ah!” - our patron saint

[-]

Zyphamon@reddit

A dog should be so lucky on their birthday.

[-]

kiwiwiwis@reddit

Honestly this meal would be totally fine if you just used a large plate instead of piling it all together in a bowl

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

What the fuck is a plate

[-]

SueNYC1966@reddit

My dog’s birthday meal.

https://imgur.com/a/WWu2r17

[-]

TheVoidWithout@reddit

Gross. I'm with the wife.

[-]

Tipsy_Hog@reddit

Show me the lie...

[-]

romulan267@reddit

r/rare insults

Nice burn by your wife

[-]

JigglesTheBiggles@reddit

Yeah surprisingly funny

[-]

PepperTheDemon@reddit

gif

[-]

ParachutingPiglets@reddit

On whose birthday?

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

Literacy is dead

[-]

ParachutingPiglets@reddit

Illiteracy is alive.

[-]

AverageInfamous7050@reddit

Skool werks.

[-]

AverageInfamous7050@reddit

I are in kolledge.

[-]

Foreign_Implement897@reddit

Dogs don’t use spoons so.

[-]

SteakAndIron@reddit (OP)

That's a fork

[-]

Foreign_Implement897@reddit

Well they do use forks.

[-]

Ok_Needleworker_6017@reddit

gif

[-]

moosemastergeneral@reddit

I fail to see the insult

[-]

Spiritual-Leader9985@reddit

She nailed it

[-]

sasshole07@reddit

Yah but I bet you have a really soft coat 😂 such a good dog!

[-]

Bromogeeksual@reddit

I just made a bomb ass Asian style rice bowl. Sautéed cabbage, carrot onion, mushrooms, with soy and sesame oil, white rice, and a rare steak cut on top. It looked bomb, but the bowl was so full I dumped it into a giant salad bowl and mixed it all up. I had tried to plate it fancy first.

[-]

JudiciousGemsbok@reddit

On its birthday?

Keep winning twin

[-]