Who would win in a fist fight, Ant or Dec?
Posted by Gregg-C137@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 70 comments
It’s 2027, the tv work has dried up. They’ve both fallen on hard times when the idea is pitched…probably by Dave. A pub car park and a camera man, two Geordies enter only one leaves. Who is your money on?
Ill-Appointment6494@reddit
Ant will just have a couple of beers and hit Dec with his car. Game over.
Effective_Guitar_206@reddit
Dec, because of the strength he's built up carrying Ant all of these years.
NafariousJabberWooki@reddit
Everyone.
De_Dominator69@reddit
Now I am wondering who would win in a tag team match.
Ant and Dec Vs Dick and Dom?
TokuTheGreatCorso@reddit
ant, quite a bit bigger and a mad cunt hes whacking dec up all over the car park
Tommy_Tomba@reddit
Could they both simultaneously deliver a killer blow? That would be my choice.
SienteElBern@reddit
Yes!
3headsonaspike@reddit
Ant's bigger but it's over if Dec lands a decent liver shot.
Tastetherainbow_2016@reddit
Dont know who is who, but the one who didnt crash his car while sloshed
Vegetable_Trifle_848@reddit
Ant is the one who crashed the car
takesthebiscuit@reddit
Was dec next to him?
Tastetherainbow_2016@reddit
My moneys on Dec then
Djinjja-Ninja@reddit
The one on the left...
Silent_Rhombus@reddit
That’s Ant. They always stand in alphabetical order as we see them.
TheOneWithoutGorm@reddit
So, Ant
Ryan10133@reddit
Dec, he’ll smash his face in
Periapts@reddit
I think Ant drives that big shiny forehead into the bridge of Decs nose, stunning him. Followed by a right hook to render him unconscious.
yearsofpractice@reddit
Dec and it’s not even close. He’s got that radgie intensity. Ant comes across as being slightly hesitant. Dec would use that to gan aaaaaal fuckin’ Byker radgie and bite off Ant’s nose.
£1000 on Dec.
(Hope I’ve got it the right way round)
ARobertNotABob@reddit
We would.
Opening-Fortune4@reddit
They’d end up in tears, hugging each other, and back on ITV in a month
SnooGadgets5130@reddit
Ant, he has the height, reach, and presumably weight advantage. Assuming both have a similar level of skill, and equal drive to win, Ant wins 8/10 based on build alone. Now, if you brought in wrestling that would even the playing field a bit, but in a square go situation Ant is who is put my money on.
misterpeers@reddit
Bigger question is who tops and who bottoms?
sock_cooker@reddit
I think they'd be pussy bashing
Sea-Upstairs-2837@reddit
stephen mulhern flips a coin for them to decide
sock_cooker@reddit
In a fight to the death, the winner would be society
UndulatingUnderpants@reddit
Which one is which?
ConfectionHelpful471@reddit
Ant has the reach but I reckon Dec has a stronger jaw and is hiding a haymaker that offsets this. It wouldn’t matter who wins the fight as the audience will be the true winner.
The fight will need to take place in a fencing esque area so they the left/right positioning can be maintained at all times for the cameras
mud0k0n_34@reddit
Ant would deck Dec. No question. How do we set this up?
Illustrious_Study_30@reddit
Dec. Lower centre of gravity
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Ant - if he gets back on the drink
davenuk@reddit
If he lays one on him with that fucking forehead.
Kaboom!
pleasant_equation@reddit
Gu on lad, yer on telly
Fine-State8014@reddit
Ant. One headbutt would do it.
Unhappy_Storm_40@reddit
The forehead one would pretend he'd been blinded mid-fight, then shiv the little one when he guard was down.
ghost-bagel@reddit
Ant would win a traditional Queensbury rules contest, but Dec would win inside Hell in a Cell.
Eastern-Move549@reddit
Dec. Its literally his name.
Beancounter_1968@reddit
Them dwarves was kung fu fighting Ant or Dec was fast as lightning...
Undeniable-Quitter@reddit
Ant will dec him
Leader_Bee@reddit
Dec, wasnt ant blinded by a paintball so he'd be on the back foot
Hazz3r@reddit
Ant for two reasons.
I don't think that Delcan Donnely has a violent bone in his body.
Ant's just a bigger guy with a not insignificant reach advantage.
Dead_Bones001@reddit
Will they be wearing sumo costumes?
Opening_Nose_2347@reddit
What like a pillow fight wearing onesies?
LewisMileyCyrus@reddit
Is Dec allowed a paintball gun?
iamabigtree@reddit
But he cannit see man!
thesaharadesert@reddit
AH CANNA SEE, MAN!
diamonds_and_rose_bh@reddit
My first thought was Ant because I bet he fights dirty, but then having seen Dec lose his shit on Wonky Donkey back in the SMTV days, I reckon that lad is a loose cannon.
Electrical-Injury-23@reddit
You're going to have to confirm which one is which before I can give an answer.
EldritchSanta@reddit
Well they always appear as Ant (left) and Dec (right), so presumably they'd have to fight that way round as well.
ButteredNun@reddit
Not the little puppy dog Paul McCartney one
Mezcalico@reddit
A pub car park? Ant will have the upper hand on his home turf
crazyabbit@reddit
Dec is that obviously going to floor Ant ,but as Ant can lift 10 to 50 times it's body weight. The winner would be Ant! Unless he doesn't get up from being Decked.
Emergency-Lock5505@reddit
You can tell Ant deffo gets lively after a few, my moneys on ant
ddmf@reddit
I don't care who would win, but it would be the first thing with them in it since byker grove that I'd be interested in watching.
AloneChance0@reddit
Ant as he's taller and more likely to be drug induced
Crunchie64@reddit
Weapons allowed?
I’m sure one of them is handy with a Mini Cooper.
BargainBoozeEnjoyer@reddit
Ant all day. Pure crackhead energy.
TheOldSeaDog78@reddit
Pure fivehead energy. One swift headbutt and it's game over for Dec
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
He's usually drunk, so probably not much use.
He has the record for the highest fine in the UK for drink driving (£86k).
datguysadz@reddit
Dec all day. He's the driving force.
BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit
Mel B would twat them both to be honest.
Dennyisthepisslord@reddit
Ant has his demons. In a true fight to the death he would go darker faster
cactusoft@reddit
150k or I take it to Sky
Embarrassed_Park2212@reddit
I'm gonna say Dec, he just looks all sweet and innocent but I think it's a bluff. I think he's got some dark streak and would give Ant a good hiding.
Extreme-Banana-9@reddit
Dec I reckon
Namiweso@reddit
Ant. Guys an absolute waste of space. Wouldn’t put it past him to fight with Dec off camera if times got hard.
theroch_@reddit
The short one
Some-Cope1999@reddit
My money is on Dec for some reason
Puzzledandhangry@reddit
Yeah, he’d smash his face him!
pip_goes_pop@reddit
He'll smash their face in
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