London vs Singapore: where should we settle as a mixed nationality couple?
Posted by SmoothRevolution5775@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 25 comments
Hi all, would really appreciate some perspectives on this.
I’m a 32 year old woman, British citizen, and I’ve lived in London my whole life. I recently got married and my husband isn’t a British citizen, so we’re trying to decide where to build our life together.
Right now we’re stuck between staying in London or moving to Singapore.
On the UK side, there are quite a few immigration related costs. If we stay, we’d need to go down the spouse visa route, pay the NHS surcharge, and then continue through to ILR and potentially citizenship, which all adds up over time.
On the Singapore side, it feels like a very different trade off. From what I understand:
- Work life balance can be quite intense
- Rent is significantly higher
- Schools seem expensive (thinking longer term)
- It’s a much smaller country, so less variety domestically
That said, it’s also very appealing in other ways.
One of the biggest blockers right now is that I don’t currently have a job lined up in Singapore, and breaking into the market seems really difficult. The only realistic route would be via my current company, but there are very limited roles there and none that I’m particularly interested in.
Would love to hear from anyone who has made a similar decision or lived in either (or both). How did you weigh it up, especially as a couple with different citizenships?
Any advice or experiences would be really helpful 🙏
Mashdoofus@reddit
You didn't mention where your husband is from, is he Singaporean?
Anyway I think you have to think about individual losses and gains vs couple losses and gains. It seems like all the cons of staying in the UK you listed are financial and all the cons of going to Singapore are uprooting / change. So it's up to you to decide what is more difficult. For me I wish it had been as simple as paying a bunch of costs. I'm Australian and moved to France to join my husband. We are still struggling 3 years on - what I've learned is that compromise on location is really really hard. And change is associated with so much upheaval and challenge to your identity and coping skills.
SmoothRevolution5775@reddit (OP)
My husband is an Indian citizen and he owns a digital business, so he would be looking to relocate that to wherever we end up too.
Thank you so much!
InterestedPartiesLie@reddit
Not sure it's a good idea to move somewhere where they're constantly going to look at him as a second class citizen. Better just to stay in the UK.
According-Egg-3131@reddit
Strongly disagree with this comment and don't state things that are untrue. I've met many successful Indian nationals living in Singapore.
InterestedPartiesLie@reddit
With all due respect this is a well documented behavior. I am attaching a source for you. I am glad however that you have had a good experience but unfortunately it is not the norm.
https://www.academia.sg/academic-views/indianness-in-singapore/
According-Egg-3131@reddit
Either way, don’t group people into categories just because of their nationality or what a specific study claims is the 'norm.' Dismissing individual success as an exception ignores the actual drive and effort people put in. The fact that the OP's husband owns his own business is a tangible achievement that should be recognised on its own merit rather than being flattened by a broad generalisation.
According-Egg-3131@reddit
Why Singapore? Have you been? It's a small bubble, hot, humid, expensive. Many other places in Asia will be easier to set up.
Bomboclaat_Babylon@reddit
I don't think you understand how difficult it would be to move to Singapore. Currently, if you can't get a job offer of at least \~10kGBP per month, it's unlikely you'll get a work permit. Funny enough, if you're a PHD, you are allowed to work for less! Lol. Anyway, getting a work permit now is very hard, and if your husband is an Indian citizen it's even harder. They really don't want more Indians right now. Also don't want white people. And PR is next to impossible. They're very restrictive in who can be allowed a work permit. Really went hardcore after Covid.
HappilyDisengaged@reddit
Malaysia has a similar mix and feel like Singapore. Might be easier to make the move to KL, definitely cheaper
JebacBiede2137@reddit
Comparing KL to SG is a joke. Malaysia is pretty much a third world country and SG is some of the richest places on earth. The only thing similar is that they both have Chinese and Malays
JebacBiede2137@reddit
But in what ways is Singapore appealing to you?
Also, in the UK your husband can be sponsored, you don't have to sponsor him.
lluluna@reddit
Singaporean here and I'm living in Europe now.
Honestly, it depends on how adventurous you and your husband are and your attitudes towards life. Singapore is definitely worth living and working even if you don't eventually settle for long-term. Yes, it's expensive but things really do work.
Personally, I'd always pick the place where it's expensive but everything runs well than a cheaper place with "many fine prints".
alrightmm@reddit
Do you have an insight just how expensive Singapore is for foreigners? No subsidies, schooling expensive as…, health care, no cpf, not able to buy property, spouse not able to work…
lluluna@reddit
Yes, I used to have many expat colleagues and friends from the US and UK.
Yes, SG is expensive but with the right expat package or if they are business owners who are doing alright, they can afford the life here.
No_Dot3917@reddit
My husband (British citizen) and I (Singaporean) have also been in this situation. It was very difficult for him to find a job in Singapore and he ended up working for a UK company as an independent contractor and being based in Singapore. I’d say rent is about the same in Singapore and London, depending on the areas of course. But long term, it would be near impossible to get permanent residency and without that, property purchase would be subject to 60% stamp duty for foreigners.
It’s a great experience though if you’d like to try it out for a few years. Moving there with your current company would be the most straightforward option, and maybe when you’re there you could network and find something you like better.
alrightmm@reddit
Schools in Singapore cost from (!) 20k GBP approximately per year.
If you say “building a life” in Singapore you need to be prepared to not find a job ever as a trailing spouse.
Your husband’s salary needs to cover for your lack of one as well.
If you have kids they will be subject to tuition fees in the UK if they were born abroad and never lived there. Studying in Singapore will break you financially.
If your marriage ever goes sour, and trust me many many do, you will not be able to leave the country with your children without their fathers consent.
There is no retirement funds in Singapore for foreigners (with some exceptions depending on the employer), especially not for trailing spouses. Everything has to come out of your husband’s salary.
HW90@reddit
Is your husband Singaporean and that's why you're considering there or is it for another reason?
Being a trailing spouse in SG can be difficult, but it's a lot better if your husband is Singaporean
SmoothRevolution5775@reddit (OP)
No he is not Singaporean, which would make it more difficult for sure
HW90@reddit
In that case, I'd probably skip it then unless your husband really ticks the boxes for getting PR quickly. The process for ILR in the UK is much more transparent and straightforward
domerich86@reddit
Berlin
SkittyLover93@reddit
I'm Singaporean. PR is difficult to get if you are not Malaysian or of Chinese ethnicity. So I'm not sure how viable it is as a place to live long-term.
What are the reasons you want to live in Singapore?
SmoothRevolution5775@reddit (OP)
We have visited Singapore before and we love it! It’s got a great mix of east and west which kind of matches us as a couple, so we wanted to explore that option.
But I also want to think of things in a realistic way, hence the confusion
SkittyLover93@reddit
Noted. One thing to be aware of is that labor laws in Singapore are weak, probably weaker than what you're used to in the UK, though I'm not familiar with the laws there. You can be laid off at anytime with no recourse.
Also, there is a current trend of outsourcing jobs to cheaper neighboring countries, so layoffs are a real possibility. A few of my friends got laid off in recent years even though they were experienced. New grads are also having difficulties finding jobs. So the job market is not great at the moment
Artistic_Pear1834@reddit
I’m going to be frank here.. if you’re worried about the costs of the UK visa process/ NHS charges etc, then Singapore isn’t for you.
It’s very expensive to rent there. I loved living in Singapore, but if you’re blinking at the 5-8k the UK process will cost, then Singapore is out of your budget for the long-term.
SmoothRevolution5775@reddit (OP)
So the cost of the spouse visa isn’t really a problem, but it’s still a huge amount, so you want to make the right decision…
Whether it’s London or Singapore it’s a massive investment