If your best friend asked you for help with money, how much would you be comfortable giving them?

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jthrow81@reddit

I would never lend money to a friend. If they needed money, I may consider giving it to them with no conditions, but also whether provide you that they never ask for money again

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I lent a good friend of mine £200 for food and bills cause they were short. Anyway, long story short he spent it on drink and drugs and took about 6 months to pay me back. Never lending anyone money again.

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Sad-Educator-4547@reddit

My brother has been capped around £1500. He gets £50 limit that he HAS to repay before reborrowing otherwise, hard no.

My best friend, anything cos he'd pay me back without prompting. We don't even keep tabs on who owes what.

I have given friends about £1k and it dissappeared along with the friend (bailed him out of a coke debt) so nothing more than a round of beer or a meal these days.

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miggleb@reddit

I give my friend money

He gives me money

Don't lend to friends

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5ubredhit@reddit

Just like gambling, only be prepared to lend what you can afford to lose. Because a lot of the time they take the piss and you never see your money again.

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RobTheMonk@reddit

Lent a friend just over 1k so they could bridge the gap between moving flats.

Now, I was paid back in full, but only when I asked when I was getting paid back. I knew when payday was and if it had been me I'd have paid as soon as it was in my account.

Now I don't lend money to friends. A tenner between friends is loose change though. I'd probably gift a friend up to £100.

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PKblaze@reddit

My best friend would be my partner so idk a couple grand.

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EstablishmentNo7239@reddit

I loaned my brother a few hundred once. He paid it back with interest (that I didn't ask for). It definitely depends on the relationship - most of my friends I suspect it wouldn't be an issue, but then most of my friends are fairly independently well off

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PTCGTrader@reddit

£500 and depends what for. I also would have no expectation they pay me back. But would use it as a character test.

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Morganx27@reddit

Probably £100. That's the max I could lose without it ruining a friendship, I think, although I would be bitter.

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Decard_Pain@reddit

My literal best friend of over 30 years? Best man at my wedding, best man at his? Helped each other over the years through some rough times?

If I had it spare I'd give him it.

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Terrible-Group-9602@reddit

You're not actually helping your friend by lending him money.

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ouzo84@reddit

In this thread:

People who have never had a bad experience with lending money.

People who had one bad experience and will not risk doing so again.

No one in between

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ouzo84@reddit

I take the view that I'm not lending them money, I'm giving them money.

You don't lend money without some form of written contract.

If I buy them a drink, I'm not assuming I'm getting one back, it's just nice when they do.

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EastWorm@reddit

I’d give my best friend the clothes off my back if it meant he’d be alright, I’ve been through some rough times and know he’s somebody I can trust. He’s helped me through a great deal of things and if it’s something we could sort together I’d give him my house to sort it out as mates.

I’m sure it seems intense but I’ve made a point of keeping only those I truly value close. I sincerely hope everybody here finds somebody as sick as my best mate, I get sad sometimes hearing people complain about their friends, people are good, and we all deserve good people.

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im-hippiemark@reddit

Having lent a previous friend a significant amount and never got it back, my personal policy is lend zero. But it depends entirely upon what the friend is like.

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cryptonuggets1@reddit

Be happy to either lose the money or lose the friend.

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keeponkeepingup@reddit

Same here. Lent a dude money, he then just blocked me on everything, and blocked his own sister as well because she is friends with me. Best thing is I never even said a date to have it back or anything like that, in fact im pretty chilled out and all I'd said is just give me it in monthly instalments over time if you want. No pressure whatsoever. The wanker instead chose to just dissappear off the face of the planet and throw a 15 year friendship & his own sister down the toilet (i was more offended by that, than the money). Pretty fucking sure that cunt was on more money than me as well.

There are still people I'll lend the odd £30 to if they ask, and who always pay it back. But the problem with them is they tend to start asking every fortnight. Not a big problem but it is annoying, like I'm not a bank.

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PrinceBert@reddit

I've always followed the policy that you never lend anything that you're not willing to lose. So I'd happily lend someone £10 knowing that if I don't get it back it's not the worst thing to happen, and if I do get it back then I'm happy. That number obviously fluctuates based on his likely I think I am to get it back but ultimately it's never enough to cause a problem. I think of it more as giving someone a small amount of money rather than lending it.

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Complete_Step6068@reddit

why would someone need to lend a tenner though it makes no sense whats that amount going to do.

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Lovehat@reddit

You've never lent or borrowed a tenner?

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DanBronze13@reddit

This is a bit shortsighted imo. If someone is at the end of the month. A couple of days to pay day. A tenner can mean the world. That’s could be a couple of meals or travel fare into work . I’ve been in that situation in the past. And those little helping 10s and 20s here and there helped me from avoiding credit cards and loans. Glad to be fully out of that life now. But would happily help a friend in the same situation.

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Broad-Raspberry1805@reddit

Are you joking, have you never had no money at all? It’s extremely common unfortunately. Even if just on a night out or the day before payday.

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PrinceBert@reddit

Jeez. Yeah that was a very privileged question. Don't get me wrong, right now very few people in my life are gonna ask for £10 but it has happened and it might still happen. Some places (hairdresser for example) only take cash and so it might be that someone needs a bit of a hand at specific points in time.

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danblez@reddit

It’s a very effective way of finding out who your real friends are. It cost me as little as a PlayStation once.

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Iammildlyoffended@reddit

Yep same here. Ironically the friends who have always paid us back are the ones who only ask for a temporary tenner.

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Therashser@reddit

My great gran who was in her 90s told me "never a borrower nor lender be" because it breaks friendships.

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Queasy-Army-4769@reddit

How much for my best friend? As much as they need.

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Helicreature@reddit

My BF is in a very different economic place to me. She’s a hard worker who has had some really difficult times. I chuck £1000 in her account every few months. The first time she cried and tried to make plans to pay it back. I said it was a gift and that we should never discuss it. I never want her to have to ask, I want her to always have enough. Guess who came running when I was called to my dying mum’s bedside in the middle of the night? ‘Go! I’ll take over here’. We were away from home for seven weeks, during which time, she cared for our dogs, ran our home, drove several hours often to give us clean clothes and generally gave us all her love and support. I tried to pay her when we got home. Her reply was ‘don’t be ridiculous!’. Priceless.

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Various_Extreme_8773@reddit

Never ever ever again will I lend out money to so called friends.

I'm going back 20 years and this is true.

One of my friends got into serious trouble with a drug gang in our local area, he got in to big. Anyway I got a call one Sunday morning with him screaming.

The gang had broken in and nailed one of his hands to the laminent flooring in his kitchen threating to nail his other hand and feet to the floor.

I vaguely knew one of the gang members as I worked as a doorman in the city centre, he got on the phone and said this was about business and respect. And he needed 25k within 24 hours.

I was a saver and had 50k tucked aside and my friend please that I bailed him out. Long story short I did and we agreed he would pay me 500 a month back.

The first 2 months was fine then he upped and dissapeared, also leaving his wife and 3 year old twins behind. To this day I never seen or heard from him again.

So that was an expensive lesson learned. The drug gang are all dead now and I left my job on the doors and I steered well clear from anyone involved in drugs ever since.

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yessirnosirmaybesirr@reddit

£25,000??? know how much charlie you can buy with that?? was your friend a top drug dealer round your area? how did you get £25,000 in 24 hours? assuming it was all in the bank and you didnt have it in cash under mattress. sorry not quick to believe this story.

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WGD23@reddit

About a kg

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yessirnosirmaybesirr@reddit

he said going back 20 years, so possibly more. price for wholesale seems to be trickling up and up.

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buffalosoldier111@reddit

Wholesale is a lot cheaper now than 20 years ago. Probably half the price.

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Various_Extreme_8773@reddit

I withdrew 5k a day for 5 days.

He was borrowing money and drugs off them with extortionate interest rates.

It was a horrendous situation. I have zero reason to lie about what happened as it was really embarrassing as I come from a decent family.

Even though I was brought up in a very working class area I was taught right from wrong from an early age.

Out of a group of friends of around 17 of us,who were friends since school days, only 2 of us steered clear from that lifestyle.

Of what I know 10 are dead and 3 are doing very long prison sentences. The others I'm not certain about.

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Allydarvel@reddit

They don't have a clue about the real world on here. The gang around my way just order the debtors to commit suicide..or something worse..must be much worse as there's a spate of early 20s guys with cocaine habits dead through suicide. The gang obviously think its great advertising. They take the hit on the money, but everyone else gets a reminder of what happens if they don't pay.

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KrytenLister@reddit

Given the lifestyle and situation you describe, there’s a not 0% chance he didn’t disappear on purpose.

I guess you’re out the same money either way, though.

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RFLC1996@reddit

My money is on he never gave it to the gang

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KrytenLister@reddit

I very much doubt this guy handed his mate the money. He said he spoke directly with one of the gang who he vaguely knew.

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Fantastic-Dingo-5806@reddit

Lmao no way would I have lent someone £25k. Sorry pal your on your own here.

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bennyshark@reddit

Lol ok jason statham

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Various_Extreme_8773@reddit

Lol sounds mad right.

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CurvePuzzleheaded361@reddit

3kmax. If it was for something important, obviously not a shopping spree. If you are friends with people you cannot trust to pay you back, you need better friends!

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IkeTurn@reddit

Never give anyone money if you expect it it be paid back.

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badger906@reddit

My best mate earns significantly more than me, so I know he’s good for it. Plus we often owe each other money, if we pick up takeaway, or grab something for the other out shopping. There’s never a “you owe me money” convo lol just a “you can get this one as I got the last”

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KnitTwoTogether@reddit

Only lend what you can afford to lose. And if your gut tells you no, it should probably be a no.

Had a former friend who only messaged me when she wanted something and I didn't quite want to pull the plug on the friendship then. She had some health issues and asked me for £20 for an emergency prescription with some sob story about being off sick/job had withheld pay/ UC being delayed. Sus but I gave it and signposted her to CAB to help with her other issues. Never saw thaf £20 again unsurprisingly. Then had the cheek to ask for £280 whilst I was on mat leave. I declined and there were infrequent fb posts begging people for money like shit surely you would have sorted it by now. She unfriended me. No attempts or inclination to pay money back. Never asked how I was or how my children were. Im sure if I had given her the £280, I wouldn't have seen that back either and it would become another request a month and another excuse.

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Rasty_lv@reddit

My best friend? How much I could afford, he always pays back, but that won't be necessary. He earns way more than me.

Any other friend? 0. I hate lending and I hate borrowing.

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Fast_Assumption_118@reddit

This is my answer too. My best friend(s) I would give everything I had as I know it would come back with no issue. Anyone else I may stretch to a fiver as I wouldn't expect it back

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belliest_endis@reddit

I think you may be in for a shock.

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Fast_Assumption_118@reddit

I have a very small friend group and have known these people for 30 years. I wouldn't be

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Squirtlegangwaddup@reddit

Same

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dinobug77@reddit

I was thinking this. My best friend runs his own company and has way more money than me. If he needed even £1,000 he’s got much bigger problems. Like where is he going to sleep when he’s made homeless. At mine obviously.

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Kexxa420@reddit

£1000 as a gift to help them through trouble.

Maybe buy them food, pay for a bill etc…

But I am not lending anyone any money. That’s a great way to run our relationship.

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Whulad@reddit

Anything that I could afford to write off

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IceMaiden2@reddit

I don't have a lot myself, but my best friends are extremely dependable so they could have whatever I've got.

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DangersVengeance@reddit

I loaned two people £500 each some years back, both good friends of mine. One paid it back £100 a month - missed a month because he asked if he could do so, no problem. Fully paid, all good.

The other has paid £100 total, and conveniently forgotten he owes me.

So your mileage may vary!

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cuevadanos@reddit

I am not British but my best friend is. I would be very concerned if he asked me for help with money as he’s the one who is employed. I’m unemployed and from a much poorer country

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BeanOnAJourney@reddit

I don't have a best friend (or any friend) but if I did, I would be willing and able to give them around about £100 with no expectation of it being repaid.

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Billyredneckname@reddit

Same rules as gambling, only lend money you're willing to lose. Also im poor, could probably spare 100 quid in an emergency but not a lot more.

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LibrarianExternal539@reddit

lend what you can afford to lose

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tomahawk66mtb@reddit

My wife and I just lent friends £1000 as they had a home repair come up. We decided before we lent it that we were fine if it never came back. I know this friend will certainly pay it back, but we've mentally written it off and won't mention it to them again.

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ZombieDisastrous4450@reddit

there's nothing wrong with helping people out that you know... one day you might need the help

But this bit of not getting it back changes everything... there's no respect for the fact that you've borrowed someone money you didn't give it to them not expecting it back unless that was the agreement

So let's cut a small talk

Stop lending people money and let them learn how to fix their financial issues themselves so technically you don't actually help people like this especially when you get older they just don't learn their skills needed to manage their own money

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HashDefTrueFalse@reddit

Nothing, personally. I don't want to be a friend's banker. IME they're asking mates either because the pros won't lend to them (always for good reasons however they frame it!), or they want to leverage our relationship to benefit themselves somehow, or both I suppose. E.g. they're hoping that because we're friends I'll let it slide if they leave it long enough or they gradually cut contact.

I'm the type that would be very annoyed at not getting paid back even tens of pounds, and I would resent seeing them spend money on other things whilst owing me. I shouldn't lend, so I don't.

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doesntmatteryaknow@reddit

Whatever you are willing to lend and not be in trouble if you don't get it back.

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KFlaps@reddit

Yep, anyone I lend money to I mentally consider a "gift". If they pay it back, great. If they don't, there's no animosity or stress from my side over it and the friendship isn't affected.

Normally it's £50 here or there. Most I ever lent was £1500 to my ex as she'd got into a situation with a new partner who turned out to be absuive and she needed some help getting out. She said she'd pay it back but I knew she'd struggle to, so I was purposely vague and non-committal on when I expected it back. This was a few years ago and she's doing much better now and has found a new, much healthier relationship, so tbh I consider it money well spent.

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Objective-Status1319@reddit

Im sorry mate thats a hell no from me

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zaimahk@reddit

it's weird that a lot of you stop seeing your previous partners as human beings the second you stop seeing each other.

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KFlaps@reddit

Lol completely understandable from the outside.

This particular ex and I had an amicable breakup and we're good friends to this day. I met her abroad over 15 years ago and she gave up her life to move here and live with me, so she doesn't have any family or anything here. She's a great person who deserves a loving relationship which I'm happy she's now found, but at the time when I lent her the money she was in a very bad place through no fault of her own. We were together 6 years and she helped me through one of the worst periods of my life whilst we together, so I couldn't abandon her when she was going through hers. It just seemed the right thing to do and I had the money in my savings so it wasn't a huge impact to me.

I'm just happy she got out of that situation and has since found someone who treats her with the respect she deserves. Life's expensive and I know they're struggling a bit, so I'll never ask for the money back because in my head it was never a loan in the first place...

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BrotherClive@reddit

For a "down on your luck and a bit short" type situation, probably a few hundred quid on the assumption I'm not getting it back. I'm sure you could construct some sort of life or death scenario where I need to give them more, which I'm sure I could stretch to a couple of grand, but hopefully that would only ever be hypothetical.

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Colleen987@reddit

My best friend? £10,000’s. I gave her a house deposit.

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DeeplyFrippy@reddit

You are a good friend!

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Colleen987@reddit

Tbh it seemed a no brainer, she paid back the the difference between her mortgage and old rent which was over £1200! Took no time at all really

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Voltalox@reddit

I don't lend money, I'll give money. No point labouring under the illusion that I'd ever get it back. So I only give money if I'm okay with knowing I'll never see it again.

I don't have much money, so maybe £50.

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ClericalRogue@reddit

I don't lend to friends. It's a hard lesson I learned many years ago. If my best friend were financially in trouble, I might be inclined to give her money without strings attached, but I'd try a lot before getting to that point, e.g., offering advice, offering a place to stay, etc. But, I know my friend would never ask me for money. It's part of why we've been friends so long.

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Inevitable-Usual-451@reddit

so if they asked, i'td be a red flag?

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ClericalRogue@reddit

Yea, we known each other very well, and have never asked each other for money. We also both work in finance, so its a bit of an unspoken etiquette too i guess. If we ever get to a point we need to ask friends for money, itd be a red flag on a few levels .

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New-Lunch8133@reddit

Can happen so easily, I had a stable career that evaporated when I suddenly developed CFS/ME that has flared occasionally to more severe CFS/ME. From a healthcare career/vocation to being unemployable as its all well and good on a high, but when the lows' come, your bedridden and drunk on the brain fog it causes and the malaise.

I relied on the goodwill of friends as I got that situation stable with benefits etc. I would do the same for them and had for friends beforehand. One even assisted with care in 2021.

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AutomaticInitiative@reddit

I generally don't. If the money isn't there now, previous experience tells me it's usually for a reason. If it's like, because their car blew a tire on the motorway, I'll happily sort something out with them, but it's usually more systemic than that.

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MisterWednesday6@reddit

Paid a friend's council tax bill affter they rang me in a panic because the bailiffs had turned up. They never paid me back a penny, and we're no longer speaking. Never lent anyone money before this and haven't done it since.

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Chemical-Mix-2477@reddit

It really comes down to trust and history—if they’ve proven reliable before, it’s a lot easier to hand over a bigger sum without stressing. But after getting burned once, I can totally see why some people swear off lending anything at all. For me, it’s more about what the money’s for and whether I’d be okay never seeing it again.

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New-Lunch8133@reddit

My group has implicit trust and we have come through on that with amounts up to £300+ in two ways. Though most of us if we have been in an okay enough position often prefer to give freely to each other.

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SiLaw9@reddit

Best way to lose a friend is lend them money.

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Winter-It-Will-Send@reddit

Mate asked me for 5k to cover rent in a fairly upmarket place up north. He has a gambling history so that was a hard ‘no’.

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Baphomethea@reddit

Nothing, once I gave 70€ to a close relative in need, I did not even ask them to pay me back but he blocked me as soon as I texted 'hi'.

Yesterday a nephew texted me for 5€ I said no chance.

I will never give any money to someone who is not my mother my father or my sibling.

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Amzy29@reddit

Depends how much I’d be happy to not get back. While I’d hope that I’d be given the money back if loaned, I’d have to assume it may never happen.

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GreyGoosey@reddit

If a really good friend that id trust to do right with it, probably up to a £1,000.

Most of the time, I'd likely prefer to go and buy or pay whatever they were wanting to use it for. If they needed it for food, I'd go to the shop with them and pay for the food as an example.

If it's a friend I've not known long, I'd likely say zero, though.

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pancake0807@reddit

Never - unless you want to lose money and a friend.

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released-lobster@reddit

My policy with friends and family: no loans, only gifts. If I'm going to help them out, it's a gift that I won't ask to be repayed. It's the only way to keep the relationship simple and unburdened IMO.

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Derfel60@reddit

As much as i can afford

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specialdelivery88@reddit

Wouldn’t bat an eyelid about passing them £20k. Thats what friends are for

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cactusdan94@reddit

r/HumbleBrag

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BrotherClive@reddit

"Hi, just wanted to let you know that I'm rich"

Or fake

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Mac4491@reddit

Yeah, this just feels like a brag.

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specialdelivery88@reddit

Or just answering the question.

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PaddedValls@reddit (OP)

We have substantially different bank accounts, sir.

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Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

Hi friend.

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Randomperson3029@reddit

Most ive given a friend is £3k to get him out of a drug debt with one clause that he never touches it again.

He paid me back in £200 installments and never touched it again

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cactusdan94@reddit

You're a good friend and so is he.

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cactusdan94@reddit

Ive lent 100 quid a few times.

A grand id be worried about.

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aredditusername69@reddit

Id lend my best friend whatever I could afford to lend. I have other friends that I'd do the same for. I also have friends that I'd lend nothing to because I know what would happen. Surely this is a similar case for most people?

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HTYRA@reddit

My lent me £1800 to buy a car a couple of days ago as my account has a 1 working day time period to withdraw funds and it was a weekend. I know I'd be happy to do the same and more if he needed it

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Easy-Development6480@reddit

Depends how much spare money I have.

I feel like the most important thing with this is getting control of the conversation. If it's my good friend I would be willing to lend him what I can comfortably afford.

But if the friend is bad with money and therefore could keep asking I will say "Here's the money you need but I can't afford to keep giving it. Next time I probably won't be able to afford it".

This way you end the never ending asking and open up a spot to start giving constructive criticism. If they ask me again it's easy for me to say "I told you before I can't afford to keep giving you money. Why are struggling with money?? What are doing with it??"

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Zubi_Q@reddit

Never doing it again after being burned 15 years ago. I don't care if it's £5!

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

its not a loan, its a gift - i wouldnt give it if i couldnt afford it. If you choose to repay this gift, there may be future gifts that I can give if ever needed

Only safe way to think about it £5K would be my limit for trusted friends, £100 for less trusted friends

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Party_Advantage_3733@reddit

£2000 ish. He's my best friend for a reason but I couldn't give any more without potential putting my family into trouble and having to constantly worry about getting it back. When I lend money I consider it as good as gone. If it comes back great, if not then hopefully it was at least used for a good reason.

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Thekingchem@reddit

It depends on the situation and whether I can help in other ways.

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Eastern_Bit_9279@reddit

I have one friend in my circle who id trust with up to 10k and thats purely because i know what he does for work , the rest maybe a couple hundred

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Squirtlegangwaddup@reddit

I generally do not lend money / items, but if you do, then expect to never see it again. That has been my experience even with people I thought were trustworthy

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Love_Aurora6997@reddit

I lent a friend £100 recently and, to my surprise, she paid it back so id happily lend to her again but probably no more than 100

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DameKumquat@reddit

I have lent (but prepared to give) up to £2000 in today's money, when friends needed rent deposits.

Two repaid within a month as promised. One repaid a chunk then was hugely apologetic, but insisted on making a token payment monthly. It took two years, but that wasn't important - I could tell said friend wasn't taking the piss, and thus we remained friends.

Right now I don't have that kind of spare cash, but if a close friend really needed it, I could chip in £500 or so and work with other mutual friends.

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Few_Show1528@reddit

The last time I leant money to a friend, it was in response to a fairly "out of the blue" request for cash from someone I hadn't seen for a couple of years but still considered a friend. He asked for £100 but I didn't feel comfortable sending that so gave him £25. He then died suddenly and I was consumed by the thought that I might have just bought him the bump that killed him, or just failed to pull him back from whatever precipice he was standing at.

No basis for thinking that other than the fact that I knew he wasn't in a great place and had done drugs in the past, but without knowing the cause of death, I've never been able to shake the thought.

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kittyvixxmwah@reddit

If you hadn't given him the £25, he would have got it from somewhere else. Likewise, if he was going to opt out of life over £100, there was undoubtedly more going on in his life than that.

Bottom line, it wasn't your fault.

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Fun_Set_8560@reddit

Just say you're skint. Then add: "Actually I was going to ask you if you could lend me 100"

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MisterD90x@reddit

Personally? Zero, for two reasons...

One: I'll probably never see it again

Two: I'm poor

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Ant138@reddit

The rule is never lend money to friends.

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wildflower12345678@reddit

Lend as much as you can afford to lose. If you don't get it back, shrug it off, if you do get it back its a bonus.

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myco_crazey@reddit

I lent my best mate £250, then he died. So even when you're 100% they'll pay you back, they dont always.

Something to consider I guess.

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Iforgotmypassword126@reddit

If it was a loan 1500

If it was a gift £200

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Numerous-Abrocoma-50@reddit

Probably 1k

Completely trust him, he is kind of person who if you have a problem always wants to help. Realistically 1k would be the highest I could write off without being upset if it wasnt paid back.

He has a lot more money than me though so not sure that would do much. But hypothetically.

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EnjoysAGoodRead@reddit

When my best mate lost their job I lent them about 9k as well as paying for lunches etc whenever we met up during that time until they were able to find another job. They paid me back in full within several months of getting their new job.

Why would anyone be best friends with someone they didn't trust to pay them back, and wouldn't help out in an emergency?

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OurSeepyD@reddit

I have two friends that I'm very close with. I'd lend both of them money if they needed it, but I don't trust one of them to pay me back simply because he's so scatterbrained and disorganised. I would see it as giving him money rather than lending.

It would also completely depend on what the money was for. Issues with rent because they lost their job? Sure. A new phone? Not a chance.

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haggis_catcher-@reddit

Never a borrower or lender be

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Hawkio@reddit

Only ever lend what you are willing to lose

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Ordinary-Article6388@reddit

On reddit be lucky to find someone who would lend you a pen let alone money

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blumpkinator2000@reddit

Depends on who and what for, but nowadays I generally lean towards no. There was a time years ago when I was bailing out friends left, right and centre, despite not having much myself, and got well and truly taken advantage of.

I recently had to stop myself offering to help friends out when their roof needed £5k worth of repairs. Partly because I knew they'd never realistically be able to pay me back, but also because getting a normal job "isn't really his thing" (his words). They're short on money because he has spent years flitting from one easy money scheme to another, and has nothing to show for it but debt. Lending them money would only encourage his nonsense, and in the long term I don't think that's fair on her.

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Pumpkin-Salty@reddit

You said "give" and that's the way I would look at it. Even if they're promising to pay it back.

So for a best mate, a month's pay without even thinking about it. More than that and we'd need a proper chat

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lost-in-midgard@reddit

It depends on what for and how able I was to support it.

If it was a life saving operation for their kid with a high chance of success, yes probably I'd rob the savings I'm trying to make for my own kids.

If it's because they didn't budget well and want to keep up their Spotify premium (true story) I might think hard before giving the £10.

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Lukesharp23@reddit

Never lend more than you are willing to not get back.

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visualsquid@reddit

Why are all the comments about lending when the question is about giving?

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OkTechnician4610@reddit

Zero I’ve learnt my lesson more than once about lending & not getting it back & even being ghosted by said friend or relative. I wouldnt mind if they were honest & said they can’t afford it etc.

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Spanner1993@reddit

I'll never lend anyone ANYTHING that I'm not prepared to not see back.

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Im skint. My friends know this. None of them would ask me for monetary help. I don’t ask them for it either, don’t lend/borrow what you can’t afford.
Seen too many friendships ruined by money.

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likeyournamebutworse@reddit

I don't lend money because it just creates unnecessary stress. I'll help a friend out with a couple of hundred quid if necessary. If I get it back great, if I dont the no big deal.

People in these comments throwing away friendships over a few quid is crazy to me.

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Intelligent-Tap717@reddit

The close friends I have would never stiff me as we have the same values regarding money, work and respect. I've helped them and they have helped me and there has never been an issue. It all depends on the person but outside of them I don't lend or borrow from anyone.

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JohnPoopsTV@reddit

I've got friends who would pay me back the same day or next day, or at least pay back by the day they said they would. I stopped lending to friends who take and never give back. At that point, they just become a leech and will keep leeching so long as you're giving them money.

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Fantastic-Dingo-5806@reddit

£0

I'm still owed £500.. it's like drawing blood from a stone trying to get it back.

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rynchenzo@reddit

Give it away and don't expect to get it back.

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abstract_groove@reddit

I’d never lend an amount of money that I wouldn’t want to write off as a gift. It’s not worth potentially wrecking a relationship.

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Lt_Muffintoes@reddit

Lent a good mate £1400 so he could buy a car to get to work. He insisted on paying interest and indeed paid it all back on time

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Nooms88@reddit

I'd lend significant amounts of money to my close friends, but that's because we are all approaching middle aged with good jobs and I trust them all to be able to pay it back.

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Morris_Alanisette@reddit

My mum lent her best friend £10000 to stop her house being repossessed. Then another £5000. Then another £5000. Then the house was repossessed.

Needless to say she never got a penny of it back. Never lend any money. Give it as a gift.

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Inner-Floor-5827@reddit

I lent my friend £3500 once. She returned it all without me even asking for it.

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Nooms88@reddit

Yea same, a bit more than that for me, he prioritised that debt paid me back when he could

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boringbobby@reddit

£0.00

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avemango@reddit

Max £50, one time only.

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GoatMonkeyy@reddit

Not that I have the money to lend out, but would all depend on what it was for. My closest friends would only ask if desperate and I would give whatever I could with no expectation. Any one else would really have to depend on circumstance, but never more than a few hundred.

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Green_Sprout@reddit

My personal policy is any money I give to friends to help them out isn't a loan, I don't expect it back and I make it known when I give it to them that I only want it back if and when they can afford it and that there is no time limit but I do keep records of what has gone where so I know who to say 'no' to. I don't have a lot, but I am generous with those that I am close to.

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EfficientRegret@reddit

I tell them to apply for a credit card or overdraft if they need the money

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Sgt_major_dodgy@reddit

I once lent my friend £1000 to pay off his payday loans he'd got for gambling.

He wanted to pay everything off and be done with it, he'd only just admitted he had a problem.

I'd recently come into some money but I still had to take a few days to think it over as we are best mates and I knew if he didn't pay me back we'd fall out and I'd lose my closest mate over a grand.

Thankfully he did pay me back, sent me all the proof he'd paid them all off and not gambled it away and now he doesn't gamble.

But I feel I'm one of the lucky ones.

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JohnCasey3306@reddit

Only what I could reasonably afford to lose and never see at the time.

Don't lend money to friends unless you're happy to never see that money again.

I've known my best friend for 40 years -- we'd never ask each other for money because we value our friendship moreso.

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crazygrog89@reddit

I’d be comfortable giving them about 5% of my money, provided it’s a long term trustworthy friend

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yearsofpractice@reddit

Hey OP. 50 year old veteran here. Money spoils friendships. You either have a friendship or you have a financial support relationship. That’s it really.

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OneSufficientFace@reddit

It entirely depends.

One friend i know id either never see it again, or would spend months and months chasing dribs and drabs.

The other would give me a date and pay me before that

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Proud_Ad_8915@reddit

As much as I can afford, they always pay it back. The biggest has been £1,000, the smallest has been £10.

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random_username_96@reddit

It depends entirely which best friend and why they are asking me. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable giving as much as £1000, maybe a max of £500, as I would have to go into the situation on the assumption I won't get it back.

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NoiseLikeADolphin@reddit

Think it would depend on whether he was good for the money in the next few weeks but just couldn’t access funds right now (about to start a new job, or his bank being difficult or something), or if he was broke and unemployed.

Maybe up to £5000 in the first situation and about £1000 in the second - my best friend earns way more money than I do though, £1000 wouldn’t even cover his mortgage for a month so idk what situation £1000 from me would be useful in!

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liquidmini@reddit

I would ask them to explain. £10? Sure no problem that's a quick read on the request. £100? Justify it. £1000? I wanna see your budget and why there's a £1000 hole in it, and the paperwork that led you there. £10K - Nope.

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Mumique@reddit

Depends how often they ask and if they ask for more money without repaying the first.

Essentially I've been a mug before and don't plan on being so again

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fuckyourflymo@reddit

I grew up in poverty and now have a well paid career. I'm far from wealthy, but if a friend needs it I'd lend them everything I had that I don't immediately need to keep a roof over my family's heads and food on the table. I've lent over £15k in one instance and several £k in another. In both cases it was money I could afford to go without and I assumed the money to be gone. I got the £15k+ back. I haven't had the several £k back and it doesn't bother me, I helped a friend keep a roof over their family's heads. I still very much consider them a friend.

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MercuryJellyfish@reddit

I could find £1000 for a best friend, and work on the basis that if they needed to ask, there's probably no plan for getting it back.

In point of fact, I'm sure I have loaned £1000 over time to one of my friends, and I don't keep count

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FormerIntroduction23@reddit

I will only lend what I'm willing to give.

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IsopodCommercial8299@reddit

Never mix money and friendship. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

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Bullshit-_-Man@reddit

Me and my best friends help each other out all the time. We’ve lent each other 3-4k at a time and always get it back. We don’t put a timeline on paying it back, sometimes it’s weeks, sometimes it’s 18 months. We lend what we can afford and we trust each other implicitly to pay it back as and when we can

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Canipaywithclaps@reddit

I wouldn’t unless something VERY unexpected has happened.

If someone is asking friends for money, they are probably bad with money so lending them some is massively going to strain the relationship as you gradually fight for it back

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andercode@reddit

Lend as much as you are willing to lose, but less than you'd resent someone for not paying back, as otherwise you lose a friend.

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Shnicketyshnick@reddit

My best friend and I often pay for stuff (e.g. holidays, tickets)and the other pays back at the end of the month or similar. I don't think it's ever gone much over £1000 so that's probably the limit. I lent a different friend £500 once though and that was a good way to lose a friend.

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Lyrakish@reddit

Depends on the best friend, the reason for the financial difficulty, the amount they need, and whether I expect it back.

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Geezer-McGeezer@reddit

My wifes friend asked us to be a guarantor for her sons accomodation whilst studying. Absolutely fucking not I said.

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awwwwJeezypeepsman@reddit

£100 tops. I have had friends who are addicts genuinely gamble entire savings on blackjack. I would never lend anything significant.

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andymcd79@reddit

Was the situation caused by them? 100 max, was the situation not caused by them and the money will help them get back on their feet with a reasonable chance of paying me back? 1000.

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Complete_Step6068@reddit

i don't lend to anyone even family (not that theyv'e asked). I have never borrowed either.

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Geepandjagger@reddit

I always think it raises much bigger questions if someone needs to borrow £10, £50, £100. If you don't have this as my friend I have bigger things to be concerned about.

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Few_Scientist5381@reddit

Never a Lender or Borower be, Putting aside legal ramifications, If they have no food, I will take them shopping, etc, with no expectation of getting the money back.

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ArturoBandini22@reddit

For the sake of friendships, I try and stick to the rule that anything below £75-100 is a gift to a friend in need and I shouldnt lend/give it with an expectation to get it back. Anything over £100 needs an agreement (that works for both of us) for when and how it will be paid back.

Keeps things cleaner - any friendship solid enough to lend money isnt worth losing over less than 100 and should also be strong enough to survive a clear agreement for stuff over it. If its not strong enough for either of those then its not strong enough to involve money.

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Paradiddles123@reddit

Never lend what you can’t afford to not get back is the old adage.

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WinkyNurdo@reddit

I lent money to a (former) mate and never saw it again. We had been close friends for years. But he was the sort of mate who would never get the first round in, and carefully engineer it so he didn’t get the last one in. Just a sly, tight bastard. I don’t know why I relented and lent him anything. It was decades ago. I wouldn’t now, at all.

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MrTubek@reddit

My best friend is like brother to me if I had that money I would GIVE him 10k if he needed

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Intelligent-Leg-3862@reddit

No more than £50, I've heard too many stories of people lending others money and never getting it back.

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Chris-TT@reddit

I lent one of my best friends at the time £700. He was a guy I’d known for 15 years, since we were kids, and he was going to get kicked out of his flat without it. The company he worked for hadn’t paid him, and he was in a real spot.

He was one of my ushers at our wedding. In fact, he walked the mother of the bride down the aisle and said it was one of the proudest moments of his life. He came round to our house almost daily and was someone both my wife and I considered practically family.

Do you know what happened? He ghosted me and everyone else in our friend group, including his girlfriend at the time, and almost disappeared off the face of the earth.

The silly thing was, I didn’t even ask for it back. I even sent him a message saying, “Look, if this is about the money, let’s write it off.”

Nothing.

Several years later, still nothing. I know he’s still alive, as other friends have spotted him around our city. I do think his mental health played a big part in it, but it’s pretty crazy to lose a lifelong friend over something like that, especially when I didn’t even once ask for the money back.

So even if you give it to them thinking it doesn’t matter whether you get it back or not, it can still cost you your friendship.

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Thelichemaster@reddit

How much can you afford to lose and still keep your friendship is the question.

The fact you never got the money back previously would limit me personally to £50 - £100.

He'll soon expect you to bail him out all the time. Cut the apron strings and say no.

I'd also stop discussing money around him. If subject coma up just say things are tight and haven't got much spare or you have a big bill coming up.

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Skanedog@reddit

I could do £1k in a pinch and more if I had time to plan it.

I've paid for things directly for people rather than give them the cash in the past.

I don't ask for it back if they're my close friends.

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InevitablyCyclic@reddit

10k on a short term basis. To pay off a car loan so they could sell the car and pay me back. They had a buyer lined up.

5k on a long term repayment plan, x per month. It was my offer, they had lots of credit card dept from their wedding and the interest rates at the time were criminal. Got about 2/3 back before they hit issues and asked to pause payments. They never restarted. At the time I was single with a good income so the shortfall wasn't an issue.

But the rule is always never lend friends money unless you can afford to lose either the cash or the friend. If you try to force the matter it'll end up being both.

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Yeknom-Ajnin@reddit

Only give what you can afford to give them as a gift because there is a good chance you will never see it again

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Triton-7@reddit

Nothing. Get a credit card ..

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TheLifeof4D@reddit

A few hundred, unless they were in serious trouble/need (which wasn't their doing).

Need an emergency flight back home from a holiday due to something unforeseen back home)? Sure. Need £1000 because you've got a coke problem and owe someone money? Not a chance.

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up_to_something@reddit

I don’t lend anymore, just give and only if I am comfortable giving that amount. No stress that way and I feel good about helping someone out just because I could.

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TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit

I’ll stand a bar tab or dinner or whatever happily every now and again, but I never lend cash.

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Pallimore@reddit

A friendly slap on the back and 'you and me both buddy!'

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stargazerrr3@reddit

Zero

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Radiant-Mycologist72@reddit

I only lend than I am willing to lose.

There are some friends I can lend money to and know I'll get it back.

I have some friends and family who feel that paying me back is entirely optional and completely at their discretion. I don't lend money to those people any more.

And there are some friends who I wouldnt dream of lending money to again.

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IamlostlikeZoroIs@reddit

I have two mates and I’ve lent them both money before, one £100 the other £50. The £100 I got back a week or two later and the £50 I knew I wouldn’t really get it back and never have which is fine. He needed it and it probably helped.

Don’t think I’d go more than £100.

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HugsandHate@reddit

Lending money to friends is tricky.

You've gotta know they're 100% reliable.

Most I've done is £100. And he payed it back.

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Hookton@reddit

As much as I could afford not to get back.

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notyouravjoe@reddit

My best friend gets what I can afford if its an emergency. I know he'll pay me back since he always has and I've always paid him back when the reverse happened.

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Artistic-Initial4698@reddit

I'd say £100 only give an amount that you would be okay if you didn't get back. Money and friendship doesn't pair well

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dragonglassaxe@reddit

If it was a dire situation maybe up to 50 (jobless atm not a tightarse lol) . But ideally I would never lend a friend money again. I had a friend a few years ago who was in a shit situation in life. I met her when we were both leaving abusive relationships. I had a lot of support from my family but she didn't and was younger than me and had her own place. She would message me often with stories of how she couldn't afford to eat. I would always send her a ten or twenty note and say nip to the corner shop n get some bits or treat yourself to a takeaway. The thing is, she often run out of food but never run out of weed or tobacco. Her priorities in life were fucked up.

In addition, she was also quite nasty to me. I've always had a pretty low self esteem so I allowed her to get away with a fair bit. She made me cry like twice when I hung out w her but I can't remember why. I also dogsat for her untrained dog a few times for hours while she was at uni and the dog had sever separation anxiety so it was a lot more stressful than looking after a more normal dog. I felt towards the end she didn't actually like me as a friend, she probably just liked having a yes man who wasn't that strict on having money paid back who was the only person who'd look after her dog.

If you have a gut feeling someone doesn't like you and is a user, trust it.

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Norman_Small_Esquire@reddit

I get paid on 26th, my mate gets paid on 31st. I basically. Lend him £100-150 every month to ride him over. His partner is on maternity leave, so it at a bit of a pinch point. I’ve never had to remind him to send it back, he always just does it.

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madnasher@reddit

My best mate? How much can I afford to spare.

I don't lend him money expecting it back, and I know he would never ask unless he is desperate because he is just like that.

I also know that he would pay me back eventually, and even if he didn't, I'm not lending him money I can't spare.

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seven_green_toes@reddit

If you lend anyone anything think of it as you will never see it again.

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Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit

Why is £0 not an option? I don't lend money at all anymore

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simundo86@reddit

Exactly could lend a friend 5k and they end up in a deadly car crash then you aren’t seeing they money back

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solpadeineOD@reddit

My best friend could have my last 50 pence if they needed it.

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allthingskerri@reddit

I've given here and there to help their kids get food ect when it's close to pay day or paid for their clubs when they are short on cash. I never get it back and I never thought I would. It's in the hundreds now how much I have lent but I do have to stop now as I have other priorities and no spare cash

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Mysterious-Sock39@reddit

Nothing I don't lend money at all

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sfxmua420@reddit

I only give away an amount I’d be comfortable to never get back because I’ve seen so many friendships ruined by money and would never want to have to argue it with a friend and risk that

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MidnightRambler87@reddit

I’d never do it, I’m just too tight. 😂

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Puzzleheaded-Put-154@reddit

Whatever I could afford really.

The most I've have is £1000

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Twocanvandamn@reddit

10K if he really needed it but I'd have a stern conversation with him first about how it needed to be paid back and agree to a reasonable payment plan of say £250 a month

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Cultural_Tank_6947@reddit

At the stage my best friend and I are currently at, if he actually asked me for me money, something has probably gone horribly tits up in his life - this would likely mean a hidden debt problem - so I probably wouldn't lend him anything. Ditto with me, and I hope he would do the same.

By that I mean, we are both fully employed, so are our wives. The homes we live in are mortgaged, but comfortable for our incomes. I've seen the cars we drive, the clothes we wear. Nothing is unusual for our lifestyles.

Now of course, there's always the odd, my phone is out of charge, can you pick up this drink - that's not even lending money, that's buying my friend a drink.

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YchYFi@reddit

Never. You will never get it back. Don't lend money and expect it returned.

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Vast-Heron8963@reddit

I always give everyone ONE chance with Money.If they let me down never again.I do lend a mate £50 most months near end of month when he is short..but he always pays me back.

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lostnov04@reddit

I lent a previously good friend £1500 about 15 years ago after he got in gambling debt. He basically made me give him it or threatened to end his life that night (maybe he was just lying, I'll never know).

It took him about 5 years to pay it back.

I know he was struggling, but in that 5 years he still continued to party, holiday etc.

Once I got the money, our friendship fell away.

I don't miss the drama.

I'd suggest you give what you can but with conditions attached.

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PomPomBumblebee@reddit

I don't borrow and I don't lend. Like other posts on Reddit you only 'lend' an amount of money you don't expect back if you really feel the need and want to help someone.

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International_Goat31@reddit

I'd give most people I know £10-£100, no questions asked. I wouldn't expect repayment either, though I'd accept it if it came. If they felt the need to come to me to ask for help then I'd already know that things were not going great. It'd be for food or electricity or something. I'd hope that were I in the same position they'd be just as kind.

A thousand or more, though? That's pretty firmly seated in "Explain your situation and I'll lend you what you need" territory. Maybe I have a cheaper way of achieving whatever it is you're trying to do. I'm not setting myself back and impacting my own quality of life to give them money to buy a new TV. If their child, who considers me family, needed immediate brain surgery from someone on the other side of the planet and the bank said a loan could take up to 5 days then of course I'd move heaven and earth to achieve that though.

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I-live-in-room-101@reddit

None. I don’t know anyone that couldn’t use a credit card. I’ll give you my time though to help you climb out of whatever hole you’re in.

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LocalMendicant@reddit

It would really depend on why and who as I have friends I know I'd probably get it back from and others it'd be unlikely. I can imagine circumstances where I'd lend a fair bit - certainly thousands .

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butcherboi91@reddit

My best friend would get anything i could give of he needed it and i know he'd do the same for me.

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Defiant-Table-9131@reddit

I wouldn't. I used to always help out my oldest friend but he was terrible with money and hardly every paid it back, it became expected that I would pay for things for him. I decided I never would again after he complained to a mutual friend that i had said i wasn't in a position to lend him anymore, but had bought myself some new clothes, he said if I could spend money on myself I should have been able to lend it to him. That was 8 years ago, and while we are still friends now I keep him at a distance and have never given him money again.

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bringandbuysale@reddit

I wouldn't lend anything, because I wouldn't expect it back. I'd probably give a friend £1000 if they were really in need. I can't really afford it but I'd do it if it kept them housed or something.

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Any-Ticket8795@reddit

Yeah i will lend friends nothing however i will give up to like 250 to help in bad times

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YOF626@reddit

I would depend on how much I was prepared to lose.

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Alert_Mine7067@reddit

There's only one friend I would lend money to, and it's no more than £200. He borrows and repays when he says, without any reminder.

Other than that, I don't lend to anyone else.

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melanie110@reddit

I have 3 ver very best friends. I would give them the shirt off my back if they needed it. Closer friends or acquaintances it would just be my time or help.

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skepsoda@reddit

I lent my best friend £5k before. Difference is though he has always paid back, in general he is a very frugal person and I know roughly how much he earns so know he was good for it

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Suspicious_Garlic_79@reddit

If my best friend was in need of food, boiler repair, etc, basic human life necessities, then I would just pay for it for them with zero expectation of having it back.

Would I lend a set amount with no idea where it's going? No. I wouldn't want to fuel gambling debts, drinking, other loans as that just gets them deeper in a hole.

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Exp3r1mentAL@reddit

My best friend sorted me out during my uni times. And when he went back into studies, I took a 14k loan for his expenses. He setup a DD for the interest and then few years later he paid me off. Then couple years ago my Dad passed, he sent me 10k without even asking.. so yeah I would be very much comfortable with lending him as I know it will not be gone or misused

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These_Look_2692@reddit

If I die, my friend is going to administrate my 100k life insurance. So if I die his name is on the lump sum and he will give it out bit by bit to partner and kids- cause partner is bad with money! 😅

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fructoseantelope@reddit

What if he dies?

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These_Look_2692@reddit

We travel together so this is possible. If we both die it goes to partner. I guess I might die first, then her weeks later. Eg if we were in an accident together. Hopefully her family would eventually find the documents and give the money back. If they never find them, they seem like nice enough ppl so the money would be going to a good home😅

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sparky750@reddit

My best friend I'd remortgage my house for without hesitation if they're asking me for help they've explored every other possible way.

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Big_Listen426@reddit

The accepted rule is only lend what you'd be willing to not get back without ruining the relationship.

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tradegreek@reddit

Never lend expecting the money back

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AndrewHinds67@reddit

Zero, unless it's my girlfriend.

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adreddit298@reddit

Never discussed it with my wife, but we have one couple that I'm confident to say that we'd give them whatever we could without affecting our own ability to pay our bills. They'd only ask if it was critical, so the fact that they had would indicate how serious a situation it is.

Most other friends, I'd probably be ok giving away £100 max one time, but it would never be a loan, it would always be given with no expectation of getting it back.

The only person I will ever lend money to is my sister, because she's got nothing, but is always rock solid about setting up a standing order to pay it back, and won't accept it as a gift. I've lent her money on 4 occasions for various things, biggest amount was £250 I think, and the next month the first payment has come back. It might only be £10/month, but each time I've received every penny.

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DescriptionFuture851@reddit

I'd give my best mate whatever, as he's responsible with money.

My "second" best mate is also the same.

The third is shit with money, I'm therefore hesitant everytime, but also wouldn't cause an argument over £20, it's not worth the trouble.

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ZeroCool5577@reddit

My friend was once struggling with his mortgage many years back and asked to borrow money I thought it would be a little bit but he needed £500 I lent him it and he did pay me back on time but the next month needed it again so I said no. Happy as a one off but don’t want to be dependent on.

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TheHalloumiCheese@reddit

Most was £4000 and it was paid back over the course of 2 years

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DingoBingoWimbo@reddit

£9

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Smart_Addendum@reddit

I don't have a best friend, but for other friends whatever I would give id give it as charity and it will be low amount what I can afford to lose, and if they return it, then that's good. Id be Inclined to give more next time. Remember you don't have to give what they ask for. Just give what you can afford to lose. I'd say £100 I can afford to lose but anything above that, get a written signed contract with witnesses.

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OverlordOfTheBeans@reddit

Never lend money you cannot afford to lose.

I will give money, I'll never lend it. If it comes back, then that's great, if it doesn't, then meh, no hard feelings. I've seen far too many people fall out over money, so if I can't afford to lose it, I'm not giving it.

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Junior_Tradition7958@reddit

I would help them review their options and look at their finances for them to give them the best way to own but wouldn’t from me.

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EuphoricFly1044@reddit

Best friend.... Lol.... Ok.... What are friends ( m(50) ) ?

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Dualyeti@reddit

I never lend money to friends or family, because that’s a recipe for disaster.

For me it’s directly proportional to what I can afford to gift

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nabsickle@reddit

I lent my best mate 6k he paid me back in installments no problem, i lent a friend 70 quid he is no longer a friend. Dont lend money you have need of.

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Fancy-Licker-66UK@reddit

A lender or Borrower never be!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😎

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toughtittywampas@reddit

Up to £100 if they're just short one month. Anything larger would take consideration and something in writing.

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No_Pea-1@reddit

£0 because I know he smokes weed like it's going out of fashion.

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Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

My sister gives me weed money sometimes but I use it for pain relief. I always pay back but I'm upfront with her what I'm using the money for.

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No_Pea-1@reddit

Every chronic weed smoker who cant afford their lifestyle has to justify their consumption in some kind of way. They will spend their last £10 on weed before food.

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Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

Very close minded. I started using cannabis at 31 as a final resort when I was otherwise going to end my life. I'd spent the previous 2 years bedridden, and the 10 years prior getting steadily more disabled. It has been medically legal since 2018. Sometimes I can't afford my prescription up front because it's expensive, and my sister helps cover the gap.

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No_Pea-1@reddit

And there are also a lot of bums out there.

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SgtTaco18@reddit

Life advice: if you lend money to a friend, expect to lose that friend.

Unless you trust them explicitly, it'll suck if they miss a repayment or simply awkward until they pay you back. It'll affect your friendship permanently.

Me and my wife lent a mate £800. Haven't seen him since, heard he moved to Scotland and married. Didn't even get an invitation. Still out £800.

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genxerrr@reddit

£0. They've got to work it out for themselves.

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GhostWatcher007@reddit

Never a borrower nor a lender be. Have lent $$ to "friends" in the past they never repaid and then they ended the friendship. Only give money you can afford to lose.

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JabbaTheHuttsCock@reddit

Been burnt to many times by ‘friends’, I never lend money anymore. I always say my money is tied up in investments.

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Fine-State8014@reddit

Whatever I wouldn't miss when they don't pay it back.

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LordDethBeard@reddit

As much as she needed, but we are married so it would seem harsh if I said no

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Akash_nu@reddit

I have borrowed £25k from my best mate and have returned it.

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AnalysisGlobal5385@reddit

Never lend money to friends with the expectation of getting it back, it'll ruin your friendship if the debt isn't repaid. If asked for a loan I will only give what I'm prepared to lose, that way I'm never disappointed.

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Economy_Fan_8520@reddit

Nothing because my best friend quit his job and currently is taking a long term sabbatical from working

I wouldn’t give him money to just fund his extended holiday if it turned out he hadn’t planned for it financially …

I’d tell him yo get a job..

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MyCatHasExtraToes@reddit

You’re not great at hypotheticals are you

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Economy_Fan_8520@reddit

its still hypothetical as my friend isn’t asking me for money.. 😅

Otherwise this is just a question of wealth …

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WillWatsof@reddit

I lent my best friend £3000 before. She insisted on drawing up a contract for repayment and set up a direct debit to pay me back in instalments over two years.

There’s only two people I would probably ever loan money to again.

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LostCtrl-Splatt@reddit

I don't loan money to anyone anymore. Years ago I loaned my cousin a large amount. It took him years to give it back whilst going on fancy holidays or take his girlfriend on shopping spending trips.

I give my son money if he needs it. It's different, he will get it in the end anyway.

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CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

Giving, I don't know. It depends on the circumstances and what they need it for but potentially a few grand. If it was for borrowing, then maybe upto about £10k but again, it would depend on why.

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cbawiththismalarky@reddit

Of the four I'd consider family they can have what they need, only one is ever likely to though, and in the past it was me that needed to

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DrH1983@reddit

There are maybe two people I'd help financially if they were desperate, and that's only because they're both the type who are financially stable usually and wouldn't be the type to ask for money. So if they did it would be dire.

Even then I wouldn't be able to offer loads. 500 quid at most is all I'd realistically be able to spare. I wouldn't be able to afford a grand without crippling myself, and I literally don't have 10 grand cash lying about.

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-Rhymenocerous-@reddit

Id give them finacial advice but not money.

Im no longer willing to find out how much my friendship is worth to people anymore.

I have maybe 3 people I could trust wholly to lend vast amounts of money to and theyre ride or die friends. We're literally like brothers, if I passed away today they'd make sure my wife was sorted and if it was on the other foot... Their kids would always have a place to call home.

Important to note that those 3 people have never once put their hand out for something from me and even when I've offered to step in and help they've never once left it as a favor left unrewarded in some way.

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Polz34@reddit

I don't think I would. I mean if we were going out and they said 'car break cost a fortune so can't afford to go out' I'd happily pay for them, but lending money can always get messy, sure starts with a tenner here and there but can build up quickly until they are just taking advantage!

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dragons-tears@reddit

Done it before paid 2 mortgage payments for a friend

I don't have friends i would do that for any longer...

But it made a huge difference for them. I could afford. They needed.

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Constant_Ant_2343@reddit

My best mate has never asked me for money so if she asked I would know she that she really needed it and I’d give her whatever I could afford that month. Lending money ruins relationships so it would be a gift. She is family to me and I know she would do the same for me (though I’ve been lucky enough never to need to ask either).

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kwakimaki@reddit

Never give/ lend money you want/ expect back.

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George9816@reddit

Most id say for me is £1000 but Thats because I trust him and tbh id make him agree to pay me back in monthly instalments wouldn’t need it all back straight away

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BrotherClive@reddit

For a "down on your luck and a bit short" type situation, probably a few hundred quid on the assumption I'm not getting it back. I'm sure you could construct some sort of life or death scenario where I need to give them more, which I'm sure I could stretch to a couple of grand, but hopefully that would only ever be hypothetical.

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Top-Maximum-5230@reddit

It depends on the friend. I have one who i know would give me the shirt off his back who i would happily give £1000 to and not expect it back. I have another who ive known since childhood whos very troubled and has asked me to loan him a couple hundred before but i never would, because i know its going up his nose

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WillingApplication10@reddit

My best friend? A few hundred, maybe up to a thousand, I know she'd pay it back. Depends what is for - I'd pay a bill or two basically.

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PaddedValls@reddit (OP)

Yeah I guess that is a factor.

If he came to me saying he's struggling for rent, then I'd help.

If he asked me for money so he could pay a holiday, I'd tell him to ram it.

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