does anyone else feel like life is on pause abroad?
Posted by SocietyMediocre6307@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 87 comments
Sometimes I feel like my real life is paused.
I’m living abroad, working, paying bills, doing everything “right” but mentally I’m still stuck in this loop: should I stay here or go back home someday?
Because of that I dont commit fully here, but I also cant move back rn.
Add family pressure + job stress + visa stress and it feels exhausting.
Even at work I replay conversations after meetings wondering if I sounded dumb or weird.
Just wondering if this is common or if I’m losing it lol
AreaBoiiii@reddit
Just feels like a constant run. Life in general has just been a constant run. I guess the further we run the more tiring it gets. Gotta chill and hang in the moment ig. Ps - smoked a fat doobie before lol can’t say I won’t miss door step deliveries of quality bud
mintjulep_@reddit
I have felt like I’m on pause or just a visitor while I wait to move back to Italy. I’ve been in America for 22 years.
FreddyNoodles@reddit
That’s interesting. I feel the opposite. I felt my life was on pause until I moved abroad. I am from the US, left 20 years ago, I have no intention of moving back and I haven’t visited in over a decade. I have lived in 11 countries so far and visited about 60 and this feels like my real life. Like I had been waiting for this since I was born.
HourFortune4384@reddit
where did you go?
FreddyNoodles@reddit
I’ve lived in 11- getting ready to be 12 and have visited over 60. Hasn’t been just one place. There are some that stick more as I get older that make think that is where I would prefer to be as time really catches up with me. But the first move was to Thailand. Had not been to Asia before. BIG learning curve. Then France. Had not been there before either. That took some time too.
Maybe my reason for not feeling on “pause” is because I’m not. I move on all the time. I have a rescue from Cambodian meat markets and a rescue cat that was drowning in a sewer drain at less than 10 weeks old in Mexico and I do some research and think about logistics and off we go. The flying has become harder with my animals. But if I can’t get them there by plane, train or auto- I am not going.
We will be headed to the Balkans in a few months. Late summer. I am in Asia now.
I have the privilege of working remote and have always. I started this life in my mid 20s
3DGuy4ever@reddit
I strive for this. Do you take healthcare (quality and ability to get it) as a factor?
FreddyNoodles@reddit
Huge factor. I have full head to toe checkups yearly. I time it with my animals - so we all get our rabies (we actually do) and just a check to make sure the engine is running alright. I have dome a few MRIs, I did a CT a few months ago and all my bloodwork. So, I do my best to ensure I am staying healthy. Yes- it does sometimes cost more than i would like- but for me, it’s worth it. I can live in a smaller house for a year or not eat sashimi or ceviche for 6 months, you know. My health and my pet’s health is #1 when deciding.
If you have the ability to do it- do it. Don’t wait. The world is getting harder to navigate every year. I am worried at some point soon most doors will just start to close for a lot of us. Or certain countries will just not be viable due to war, temperature, weather, fascism, etc.
“I’ll travel when I retire.” That sentence makes me so sad. I KNOW not everyone can do this and not everyone even wants to. But IF you can and DO want to- you can’t really just keep putting it off because you assume you will have time.
MonicaLVerified@reddit
I’m also a 3rd culture kid. Born in Brazil and lived in 6 different countries growing up, always in the American education system. I left the US to get away from Americans and now I am a stranger in my own country. I speak Portuguese like a Brazilian but have not integrated into the culture. My gringo education just won’t mesh. I think of moving back to the US every day. Third culture kids feel at ease in different cultures but there’s always something missing and it’s hard to connect to “locals”. The solution may be moving back to the US but coming to Brazil often.
The solution could also be to find a third culture tribe wherever you are. The problem is they are often transient. Sometimes I feel like being a 3ck means to always feel “unsettled”.
Enjoy your move back to Italy. I lived in Milan and without my foreign friends it would have been very lonely.
Getvaxed500@reddit
Might be why expats cluster in foreign countries.
Fun-Piccolo-7788@reddit
That feeling of being in between places is so real, like your life is quietly waiting for the moment it finally feels like home again.
mintjulep_@reddit
yes! the little moments I get when I'm back in Italy, and I was there for a month, working, my normal life...it felt amazing.
ScienticianAF@reddit
Yep same! I've been living in the US now for 25 years. Feels like I live to work. And I work just to pay the bills.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That really resonates.
22 years but still feeling like you’re “in between” or on pause must be a strange feeling… like life is happening but not fully rooted in one place.
Do you think that feeling has changed over time, or it’s stayed pretty consistent?
mintjulep_@reddit
It’s been consistent since day 1, never felt like I integrated fully. I just don’t get it here.
I’m a 3rd culture kid. American born Swiss citizen, grew up in Italy, move here 22 years ago for Uni and beyond. The intention to move back was there, just life happens. Now I’m going back and I know it’ll be weird back in Italy but at least I’ll feel like I’m living my life and now collecting coins and avoiding Americans.
pearpool@reddit
Stop feeding the chatbots
CycleFeeling7337@reddit
I felt this for a long time in London and again in my first 18 months in Paris. The "should I stay or go" loop eats energy. What helped me was committing to small things : Joining a local class, getting a library card, framing photos for the wall instead of leaving them in a box. The big decision tends to clarify itself once you stop treating where you in transit.
winery_bound_expat@reddit
reading this from the other side is wild. i'm still in the US planning a move to italy and honestly it's here that feels like the waiting room, not there. like everything i'm doing is just killing time until i go. someone in this thread said they've been waiting 22 years to move back to italy and that hit harder than i expected lol
Extra_Implement_6466@reddit
I’m finally at peace with my decision after nine years. I enjoy living abroad and am now purchasing a house because I was tired of not fully committing to my life overseas. Just take one day at a time; there’s no point stressing about if or when you’re going home. What comforts me is that we don’t have roots; if anything happens or I feel the strong urge to return home, I’ll go. It would be practically difficult, but not impossible. Do I want to leave right now? No. In the future? Yes, absolutely, but that future isn’t here yet for me. Saying that, I’m not sure how far you are from home. For me, it’s an easy two-hour flight to visit my family so I can visit often. Take care 🧡
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That’s actually a really grounded way of looking at it.
It sounds like what really changed things for you wasn’t “figuring everything out”, but removing the pressure to decide forever and just allowing yourself to live fully in the present situation.
And yeah, having the option to go back without it being impossible probably makes a huge difference mentally too.
Extra_Implement_6466@reddit
Thanks! You’re right. i have to say that it's not easy to fit into this mindset and I achieved it after therapy. But it makes things easier for me and I hope I gave you something to reflect about..
Pecncorn1@reddit
After 30 years abroad I can't see myself moving back. The biggest stress for me has been visas/residency. No family so that doesn't play into it for me.
NetFlaky308@reddit
I get it. Ask yourself, “how does this place contribute to my life and goals?” Try to get three answers.
solarboom-a@reddit
you can't put the genie back in the bottle. Changes are happening within you that will not be reversed. Your operating system (your native culture) is scrambled by the new culture you are attempting to adapt to. If you ever return to your home, it might not work either. This is my experience. I think I will live the rest of my life in some kind of liminal space, not fully a part, not fully integrated into any OS. Cultures are operating systems.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
I get what you’re trying to describe, but I think the “broken / scrambled OS” framing is a bit too absolute.
Yes — long-term exposure to different cultures changes how you think, react, and interpret things. That part is real. You don’t go back to being exactly the same version of yourself, and your “native context” won’t feel identical anymore either.
But that doesn’t automatically mean you become “non-compatible” with any place.
What usually happens is more nuanced:
That “liminal space” feeling is often just the adjustment phase of that hybrid identity becoming stable — not necessarily a permanent failure state.
And a lot of people who feel this way later realize something important:
belonging isn’t always about full integration into one system, but about building enough anchors (people, routines, purpose) that you feel stable within yourself, even if you’re between cultural frames.
So yes, you change permanently — but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck outside everything forever.
solarboom-a@reddit
All true. It's all true. Non-compatibility is not a reality. We are humans, we live amongst our species and that is the hardware common to us all. Memories and dreams.
hurlyburlyhumdinger@reddit
I mean, I have taken multiple long term sabbaticals to travel. Now I'm back home working to get myself to actual retirement, and THIS is what, to me, feels like I'm on pause, just waiting around to be able to travel again. It is all in the mindset. You aren't doing anything wrong, but I'd say your brain is giving you clues that maybe you want to commit to something. Even if you change your mind again later, commit to the experience and you will get more out of it.
BrokenTVBrokeMyHeart@reddit
I completely get this feeling!! I’m in my mid twenties and moved abroad after uni. I keep feeling like I should go back home (for family, career, etc.) but I keep extending my mental “deadline” over and over because I feel like where I live now IS home. This ends with me not dating, not trying for new jobs, not wanting to move house , etc and I end up feeling stuck like my life is on pause.
Unfortunately I don’t have the answers but I wanted to say you’re definitely not alone <3
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Honestly this is exactly the kind of situation I meant.
That mental
BrokenTVBrokeMyHeart@reddit
Advice my best friend gave me — we can’t keep half living our lives on the chance we might go home. Schedule the date, apply for the job, try the new club (or alternatively just stop the torture and go home).
Still working on taking this advice myself but it’s a disservice to ourselves to half ass life on a maybe!
pers_monument_valley@reddit
It's been 9 years since I moved to states, I'm at that where I want to get married but at the same time I'm worried cos I might loose the freedom to move back whenever I want cos it won't be a one man decision post marriage.
Catcher_Thelonious@reddit
My "on pause" is more strictly defined. I just moved back to Japan and am living in what is essentially a commercial dormitory. Working but not committed to the job, considering retiring to cycling/hiking, and/or pt seasonal work.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That actually sounds less like “on pause” in a vague emotional sense and more like you’re in a transition structure that was designed to be temporary (company dorm, non-committed job, in-between career planning).
In that setup, the “pause feeling” is pretty expected, because your environment is literally signaling: this is not permanent life architecture.
So your mind is reacting logically, not dysfunctionally.
What usually matters in cases like this is clarity on one point:
Catcher_Thelonious@reddit
I've worked in nine countries over the past 35 years. All phases are planned transition.
rarsamx@reddit
The opposite. I felt life was in pause until I migrated.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That makes sense.
What you’re describing is basically the flip side: migration didn’t create the “pause,” it ended it—because it gave movement, change, and a sense of forward direction again.
A lot of people experience life that way when they’ve felt stuck for a long time in one place or routine. Then moving countries feels like “life is happening again,” even if the situation afterward is still in flux (like dorm living, job uncertainty, future planning, etc.).
The key thing I hear in what you’re saying is:
it’s not really about Japan, the job, or even retirement ideas—it’s about movement vs stagnation as a core emotional driver.
So the real tension isn’t “should I stay or leave,” but more like:
That’s useful to notice, because it helps you see what you actually need isn’t necessarily a place—it’s a structure of life that keeps things evolving in a way you can tolerate long-term (not just relocation cycles).
Otherwise you risk repeating the same pattern: movement → relief → settling → feeling stuck again → desire to move again.
The question then becomes less geographical, and more: how do you create ongoing change without needing a full reset of your life each time?
Bomboclaat_Babylon@reddit
I'm always thinking about the next place I'll move. It's all about what gets you excited. If travel isn't exciting for you, then probably go home and find something else that gets you excited.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
There’s some truth in what you’re saying—excitement and novelty can absolutely be a driving force, and for some people “movement” is part of how they feel alive.
But it’s also worth separating two things that often get mixed together:
1) Healthy excitement (growth/curiosity):
Travel, new places, new challenges that add to your life.
2) Restless avoidance (lack of grounding):
Moving or imagining the next move because the current life doesn’t feel emotionally fully “inhabited,” even if it’s objectively good.
The second one is where people often end up in that “always next place” loop—not because they truly need a new country, but because staying still forces them to face internal discomfort (routine, identity, commitment, boredom, responsibility, etc.).
Also, “if travel isn’t exciting, go home” is a bit too binary. A lot of people don’t choose between movement vs home, they learn to build a life where:
So the real question isn’t just “what excites you?”
It’s also: “can you build a life that doesn’t require relocation to feel alive?”
Because if excitement only exists through changing countries, that usually eventually becomes exhausting—not freeing.
ExcellentWinner7542@reddit
Just think how the early settlers in the US felt.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That’s an interesting comparison, but it’s also a bit misleading if you take it too literally.
Early settlers were dealing with physical survival, isolation, and unknown land. Their “in-between feeling” came from real instability—no infrastructure, no guarantee of safety, no established social system around them.
What you’re describing (from everything you said earlier) is different: you actually do have structure—home, family, job, mortgage, routines. The instability isn’t external anymore, it’s internal: a lingering sense of “is this really my place?”
A closer modern parallel would be migrants who are fully settled but still feel psychologically split between “origin identity” and “current life identity,” even though nothing in their environment is uncertain anymore.
So the useful takeaway from the settlers analogy isn’t “this is normal because humans always feel this,” but rather:
when people stop being in survival mode and start being in stability, the brain doesn’t automatically switch into “belonging mode.” That part has to be built through repetition, attachment, and emotional investment over time.
In other words: the feeling doesn’t disappear because life becomes stable—it usually fades only when your daily life stops being mentally evaluated and starts being emotionally inhabited.
ADeeLuis@reddit
Yes, I feel the same way
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That makes sense—and it’s actually pretty common when your external life is stable but your internal “sense of place” didn’t update at the same speed.
In your case, nothing is missing structurally (you are rooted: family, work, home, responsibilities). So what’s happening isn’t a life problem anymore, it’s more like a mental framing problem.
A useful way to look at it is this: your brain is still running an older “temporary expat / transition mode” script, even though your real situation is “settled life mode.” That mismatch can create that feeling of distance or unreality.
What usually helps isn’t trying to force “home is everywhere,” but doing small things that align identity with reality:
Not because you might leave, but because constantly keeping that exit file open is what keeps the in-between feeling alive.
You don’t need a new life decision—you need your perception to catch up with the life you already built.
Unable_Tumbleweed364@reddit
No, I have children, a job, husband, a mortgage, and responsibilities here. This is my life.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Then you’re not in a “waiting mode” anymore in any practical sense — you’re already fully rooted.
What you’re describing sounds more like a mental narrative lagging behind reality: your life is committed, but part of your mind is still treating it like something provisional or negotiable.
That mismatch can create that feeling of being “in
Feeling_Coffee_@reddit
Yes, I've had it many years - almost like a mental waiting mode, because I wasn't sure about the future. In my case I moved countries because of love, so the person was important but the country seemed temporary. But life is different from dreams, and world has changed. Seems like we stay for more years. Might as well put sincerely some roots down and embrace the place too, cause the in-between feels like waisting life away.
Haven't figured out how to do that "home is whenever you are" thing. For me, home is physical and mental commitment to the place, putting parts of myself out there that doesn't let me move away easily later.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
I think what you’re describing is actually the most honest version of this whole “home” question.
For a lot of people it’s not really a mindset switch like “home is wherever I am”, it’s more like home becomes where you’ve invested parts of yourself that you can’t just casually detach from anymore — friends, routines, projects, even small responsibilities.
The “waiting mode” makes sense when nothing feels fully anchored yet. But at some point, like you said, you kind of realize the waiting itself is costing more than the risk of committing.
And maybe committing doesn’t mean “this is forever”, it just means “this is real for now, so I’ll treat it like it matters.”
owzleee@reddit
Not on pause, just more removed from the real world. I actually like it. London was slowly killing me; I’m glad I left.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah I get what you mean.
Sometimes it’s not “paused life”, it’s just stepping out of a system that didn’t fit you in the first place. If leaving a place gives you more peace and clarity, that already says a lot.
North_Artichoke_6721@reddit
I am back in my home country after living abroad from age 16 to 25. I feel like some aspects of my life were paused, especially socially.
I feel like I missed a lot of pop-culture.
When I see things like “everyone from our generation knows what X is” and I don’t, or when we play any kind of quiz/trivia games and there is a question about music or movies or anything from that time, I feel lost and left out.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
This is actually a very common feeling for people who grow up or spend key years abroad.
What you’re describing isn’t really “missing pop culture” — it’s more like missing shared reference points. Those small cultural things (music, shows, jokes, trends) are what make people feel instantly “in sync” with a generation.
When you spend formative years elsewhere, you don’t lose culture — you just collect a different set of reference points. So later, when people say “everyone knows this,” you feel excluded, even though you were just living a different version of the same timeline.
The important part is: this doesn’t mean you’re behind or disconnected. It just means your “shared library” is mixed. You’ve got things others don’t, and you’re missing things others do.
And honestly, most people exaggerate how universal those references are anyway — a lot of them fade fast, and new ones replace them.
You’re not out of place — you just didn’t live the same “media timeline” as people who stayed in one country.
Rough-Foundation9208@reddit
If there's family back home you will always feel a bit like that.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah, that’s probably true for a lot of people.
Family back home creates a kind of permanent emotional anchor — even if life abroad is good, that connection keeps the “split feeling” alive in the background.
Maleficent_Ad1134@reddit
I’m a third culture kid and have been living outside my passport country for most of my professional life. Moved countries on average once every 3y during that time, so feeling like “I’m not committing” resonates.
Personally, I think this feeling changed a lot for me when visa stress wasn’t a thing anymore (I live in the EU, husband is EU citizen so I have right to work and live here). All of a sudden my life in the country isn’t tied to my visa, so I feel less shackled to the job. We could actually start thinking about and planning for and dreaming about life the way we wanted to without the confines of the visa and our jobs. We plan on moving back to my husband’s home country in the next year, buying a house, building a business, building a family etc. I’d still technically be an expat but it’s the first time in my life I’m feeling like I’m committing to growing roots in a country and really thinking about “what kind of life do I want to live” “what actually makes me happy” outside of my identity as an expat / global citizen. I think up until then, I’d spent so much time optimizing for my right to stay in the country (the visa) and if the job wasn’t making me happy anymore, I’d look for another opportunity and if that was another country, I’d move.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That makes a lot of sense.
It sounds like once the visa pressure disappeared, life decisions could finally be based on what you actually wanted instead of just what kept you allowed to stay.
I think a lot of people underestimate how much immigration status shapes identity, career choices, and even long-term dreams until that pressure is gone.
ContextRules@reddit
I think this is common when expats are undecided. My partner went through this. We approached moving quite differently. I wanted to move wholeheartedly. I knew it was the best thing for me and I fully dove in headfirst and did everything British. I immersed myself fully and made efforts to become a local rather than getting involved in the expat community. I was lucky in a way that through work and a training course, I was exposed regularly to locals who regularly were together.
My partner was less committed, but still wanted to here. He is far more connected to his family and receives a lot of guilt from his mother for moving. When our country of origin is mentioned he says "we" while I say "they." For me, its how we see ourselves and while both are fine, he expresses more of what you are saying and I am counting the days until I get my citizenship.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That’s actually a really interesting way to describe it.
The “we” vs “they” part says a lot about how identity shifts over time. Sounds like commitment level and emotional ties back home can completely change the experience.
And yeah, both approaches can be valid… but I can see how staying mentally split would create a lot more internal friction.
rmk556x45@reddit
How long have you been at your new country and what were the motives for leaving your old one? Also what’s your age and station in life and that of your family? Also from where to where were you coming from? Feel like there are a lot of contextual details missing making it hard to give tangible advice. Unless of course you’re actually subconsciously asking for permission to leave which is how this post comes across.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah fair point, there’s definitely a lot of context that changes the advice.
I kept it broad on purpose because I was more curious about whether people relate to that “in-between” feeling than asking for one specific life decision.
But you might be right that part of it is looking for clarity more than permission.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah that makes sense, I get why you’re asking for more context.
I’ve been abroad a few years now, left mainly for work and better opportunities. I’m in my late 20s, no big family situation, just trying to build something stable.
But honestly the post wasn’t really about asking permission to leave or stay… more about that mental loop a lot of people get stuck in when they’re already abroad but not fully “settled” inside.
I might be overthinking it a bit, but I was curious if others actually go through that same in-between feeling.
rmk556x45@reddit
Oh yeah the not being fully settled or integrated part is natural otherwise it would be truly your home country. I will say there is a level of assimilation that is necessary but finding your own community in that country will be the key to easing that sense of lack of belonging because at the end of the day that is the true mark of native the social ties to that country at least in my opinion and experience.
aroused_axlotl007@reddit
Bro your talking to chatgpt right now
rmk556x45@reddit
What’s chatGPT about anything I wrote lol?
aroused_axlotl007@reddit
Not you, the OP
rmk556x45@reddit
Ah shit you’re right, got a DM from them that looked AI. Data farming over here.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah that actually makes a lot of sense.
I think the “not fully settled” feeling is what confuses most people, because on paper everything can look fine but internally it’s still a process of adapting.
Maybe the missing piece really is building real connections and not just living in the system alone.
Accomplished_Sir4802@reddit
I've been in canada for 4 years now, and still can't commit to buying a nicer mattress for this weird feeling of lack of sureness I will still be here to use it in the future.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
That actually says a lot in one sentence.
It’s crazy how uncertainty shows up in small everyday things… not even big life decisions, just simple comfort purchases because part of you still feels temporary.
I think many people relate to that more than they realize.
Frosty-Homework2776@reddit
i know that i dont fit in, but i started accepting this and move on with my life. this has reduced a lot of my stress and negative thoughts. so what? i can be an outsider but still build a good life
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Honestly that’s a strong mindset.
I think a lot of stress comes from trying to force belonging instead of accepting that maybe you won’t fit perfectly everywhere — and that’s okay.
You can still build a solid life without needing to feel like a “native” first.
Unicorns-and-Glitter@reddit
I used to until I got married and had a kid. It felt like I hadn’t really started life. Having roots with people helps.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah that makes a lot of sense.
Sometimes it’s not the country itself that creates stability, it’s having real roots and people connected to your daily life.
That “life hasn’t really started yet” feeling is exactly what a lot of people struggle to describe.
Foreign_Emphasis_470@reddit
I feel like that too. Been expat in various countries for 14 years now. And especially as I have achieved my monetary target of 2 musd that I wanted to save, so sometimes I don't know what is the point of staying expatriate for longer. My country is a nice country too (France). Better not think about it.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah I get that.
A lot of people think the struggle ends once the money goal is reached, but sometimes that’s when the bigger question starts… “okay, now what?”
Especially when home is still a good option. Then it stops being survival and becomes meaning / lifestyle / where do I actually want to live.
gilda_pierce@reddit
Same. Don't know whether I should stay or go. I've been stuck in the middle for 6 years, just stagnating.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah… that “stuck in the middle” feeling is brutal because time keeps moving even when you feel frozen.
I think a lot of people don’t realize how draining uncertainty can be until they live in it for years. 6 years is heavy.
Shahrukh_Faridi@reddit
Yeah, this is very common. I think it’s the weird “in-between” stage nobody really warns you about.
You’re building a life abroad, but part of your brain is still keeping one suitcase emotionally packed “just in case”. So you don’t fully commit where you are, but going back doesn’t feel simple either.
The meeting replay thing is common too, especially when you’re working in a different culture/language/social style. Half the time you probably didn’t sound weird at all — your brain is just doing post-match analysis for no reason.
What helped me is treating the place like home for the next 12 months, even if I’m not 100% sure forever. Make friends, decorate properly, join things, build routines. Not because you’ve decided to stay forever, but because living half-in/half-out is exhausting.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah this actually explains it really well.
Especially the “one suitcase emotionally packed” part… that’s exactly how it feels for a lot of people.
And you’re right, maybe the biggest problem is trying to live half-in / half-out for too long. That drains more energy than people realize.
goldenvisa6387@reddit
Could premium property demand support Greece residency interest in 2026?
Specialist-Bowler465@reddit
Is it always going to feel this way? :(
hardcrusher2@reddit
Many expats feel the same
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah honestly reading replies made me realize it’s way more common than people talk about. A lot of us look “fine” outside but inside carrying stress every day.
HVP2019@reddit
Do you believe it isn’t often talked about?
This sub ( but also any immigration forum) is full of posts from immigrants/expats describing how they don’t feel fully settled, how they can’t figure out should they stay or should they leave.
hardcrusher2@reddit
Probably.. everyone is hustling in their own way and fighting different battles to make it out there.. sometimes you just think that it's what it is just do what you can, till you can, no one's coming to save you so save yourself..
hardcrusher2@reddit
It's the design of 'the system' which may or may not be fair to all, but this structure of dependency has looped all the people into it deeply. Feels like a never ending battle or having to give in so mch just for wanting a simple life with roof and food on the table for the family.
Maybe call it optimism, the world is huge, and there are people and communities out there, where people are living that slow paced life, live in small towns where people look out for eachother despite not having all the luxuries of the first world. In search of reaching those kinda places.
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Yeah I really get what you mean.
That “system loop” feeling is exactly what makes it heavy… like you’re just trying to live a simple stable life, but it feels like everything is structured in a way that keeps you running.
And I agree with you on the second part too — that idea of slower communities or simpler places is something a lot of people start thinking about after a while.
Do you feel that’s something you’re actively moving toward, or more just a thought when things get overwhelming?
Initial_Assistant771@reddit
Ah yes
SocietyMediocre6307@reddit (OP)
Living abroad feels like my life is on pause… is this nEven when things look stable from the outside, your head is never fully “settled”.ormal
nyancat5000@reddit
yes I totally agree !! I have felt the same but never put it into words, you described it perfectly