ULPT Request. Need tips to look less approachable for sellers on the street
Posted by Miss_Moooody@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 244 comments
I, female in their early twenties, can't walk through the city center on a weekend without being spoken to by sellers missionaries, beggars, representatives of unions or charities or WHATEVER. I can't take it anymore. I'm already wearing headphones and not making eye contact, but they keep talking to me and I have to engage in a conversation even tho I don't want to or need to be an asshole and ignore them.
ummkay_ultra@reddit
Dress poor.
alicesdarling@reddit
Hi also 20s female here.
You have basically no other option than to genuinely not respond or talk to them. You can look crazier you can dress weirder but you are the audience they think is most likely to stop.
And because you do stop and talk to them that means they've won, the fact that you feel the need to engage is the issue. You don't have to engage in conversation you can genuinely just keep walking, the trick is to remind yourself you have no good reason to feel guilty and you can ignore em
alicesdarling@reddit
Screaming in their face is also an option but it's really as easy as not speaking back or interacting at all
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
Even tho straight up screaming in their face seems funny as fuck, it is probably not the best solution xD
I guess you're right with your first comment. I shouldn't feel bad for ignoring them, but it'd still prefer if they just wouldn't talk to me in the first place
YouArentReallyThere@reddit
Get a whistle. Don’t stop walking and every time they start to speak…blow that whistle. They’ll leave.
juliana-crain@reddit
My great-aunt was born in 1898 and was 4'11 on a good day. She carried a police whistle and did exactly this her entire life, and swore by it. It is truly the fastest, safest, lowest effort, least messy way to convince people you're not worth fucking with.
sajaschi@reddit
We're conditioned from a young age that it's important to be polite to total strangers. It's a tough lesson to unlearn but it's really freeing when you do!
Also, if someone tries to stop me with "miss, can I ask you a question?" I always respond with "You just did" and keep walking. 🤷🏼♀️
BrexitVoter@reddit
Really weird teachings by generation X and boomer. Especially in the UK.
Treat strangers with respect! Okay, but, the kidnappers of your day? I nor any one my age would have gone anywhere near them, they looked creepy as fuck.
Maybe not all strangers are good guys 🤣 especially not charity scammers
hendersonh66@reddit
They will sneak in with the humans
Chemical_Chicken01@reddit
Wear big sunglasses, headphones and don’t stop to talk to them. Pretend you don’t even see them.
IndependentMost8934@reddit
I wouldn't even know if this was happening to me. Any attempted conversation from a stranger is met with a stone faced look without breaking my stride. It could be a granny complimenting my shirt, to a person panhandling and once even someone trying to rob me with a knife (that's not a move I would recommend, I was younger and got lucky). Granted I'm a man and I've experienced a lot of different situations in my life so I'm not easily intimidated.
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
Women are trained from an early age to be nice to strangers. It's a hard habit to unlearn and saying no can be met with various degrees of violence in the wrong circumstances. Life as a man is completely different.
IndependentMost8934@reddit
I understand your point and acknowledged I was speaking from a different perspective. I will say though, if a person is going to become violent when told no, I don't think you're any safer actually engaging with that person. What your describing is a violent, mentally ill person and they should be avoided at all cost. I feel like in a situation like that your best option is trying to put distance between you and said person. Stopping, engaging and allowing them to approach you is not the move, man or woman.
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
I think you men have a very different life experience than us women. It is not just mentally ill me who are violent towards us. It's your friends, probably even you if you're denying it happens. From being called a slut, a bitch, or being shouted at, pushed or slapped, or having them grab our ass, tits, or vulva, this has happened to most women by men just like you.
BrexitVoter@reddit
That isn't true. Women are taught NOT to approach strangers and to be suspicious of everyone.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Women are also caught to be quiet and don’t make a scene. Get yourself a personal alarm. They usually have a flashlight as well. 6 or 7 $ and can be held in your hand. Like the whistle you can just start making noise with it. People don’t like that
tkkana@reddit
Quack like a duck...
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Sting once said that if you get hassled by a crazy person, just act crazier than them. Could be fun
Shazam1269@reddit
In a clear voice, "sorry, I don't speak English." Repeat as often as it takes.
Wwwweeeeeeee@reddit
I kinda like deploying the
"get the fuck away from me".... loudly and with my nasty b-face lip curl, "wtf you tawkin to me" face.
tryanloveoneanother@reddit
Wear headphones and don't engage or make eye contact.
the_pretender_nz@reddit
My strategy is usually to ignore them, but if I can’t do that I point at my headphones, shake my head and keep walking
el_capistan@reddit
Just say loud and fast "sorry gotta shit!" And start power walking
SneakerTreater@reddit
The words of power. Nobody is gonna question a person on a shit mission.
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
Scream? You're trying to get her possibly injured. Why scream? Not once has she said a verbatim statement on what has been said to her. Now ,she could just be shy,anti social or whatever, but for you to advise a young 20yr old female that's walking alone to scream at people is absurd, tasteless, classless and lacks wisdom.
alicesdarling@reddit
Sorry just some sarcasm on unethicallufeprotips since my original advice was so normal lol
crustyflute@reddit
this is it tbh
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
Not necessarily, how have they won? She didn't specify on the topic of conversations these individuals have conversed about. Now, of course if she's approached by someone saying something toxic, low vibrational or disrespectful then yes ignore, but most importantly, if she's that annoyed by the encounters, she should take another route so she doesn't have to walk past them anymore.
AfterSignificance666@reddit
shut up and stop giving dumb advice
YelloKimono@reddit
Yes! I'm in my 30's and from the countryside where everyone talks to everyone including every stranger you walk past on the road, so the first time I moved to a big city this was a fast learning curve. Eyes ahead, look vaguely at the top of peoples heads or middles distance. Dont stop, dont acknowledge, dont even say "no sorry" just keep walking it's the only way to get through without having a conversation with every person who walks up to you. TOTALLY COUNTERINTUITIVE if you're naturally friendly, like being kind, see everyone as real people with feelings or a people pleaser though.
NoVelociraptorsHere@reddit
Important word you need to learn, especially as a young woman:
“NOOOOOPE!”
Speak loudly and carry a big stick.
Bite a blood capsule when they pursue and hiss at them.
If all else fails, cackle maniacally while appearing to rummage through your purse/ jacket pockets/ anywhere you might secret a taser or large knife.
Cackle again and slip merrily off.
Super-Travel-407@reddit
When you ignore them (or you can shake your head "no" as you walk by), remember that 98% of other people are ALSO doing so and you are not rude. You are NORMAL.
fluffy_drank@reddit
fake piercings. get the septum rings you can remove without actually getting piercings, get a shit ton of fake earrings. with 2 wild looking septum rings and some mangled looking earrings youll be fine. oh and pro tip which not sure many would do, buy fake blood and smear that around a shirt or your face. might be extreme but it works
bangzilla@reddit
You are under no obligation to engage with anyone, and you are not an asshole for ignoring them.
bahabla@reddit
Bro it’s so frustrating because when I ignore these sellers, they start throwing racial slurs at me and all i want to do is cuss them out but that’s not that safe to do as a solo woman.
nah2daysun@reddit
Exactly. You owe no one any of your time or thoughts. Get you a piece of paper and write, “NO.” On it. Or just hold up a large can of obvious pepper spray. Also, don’t cower…take up space.
sparesomechange20@reddit
Walk holding a baseball bat of any size
ICXPDQ@reddit
I have put it in my mind that these people are doing a job...including beggars, homeless, etc. Their job is to persuade you through any means necessary to hand over money, sign a petition, take a pamphlet or whatever it may me...this is their profession, especially beggars. THEIR FULL-TIME JOB IS TO SCAM YOU! Some are very good at it.
My advice to you is to keep in mind that they are bad at their jobs when you ignore them. Give them any attention and you will have given them the will to keep going. Ignore, ignore, ignore and eventually you will develop a look they will recognize as "you're fired" and they will leave you alone.
Working-Statement824@reddit
Start singing with your headphones on , bad voice ? Even better !
mybossthinksimworkin@reddit
Shit on your hands and smear it all over you. This works with a lot of situations where you want people to avoid you. Good example is prison. If you smear shit all over you in prison you are far less likely to be beaten up. You will look crazy and you will also stink too badly for anyone to get close enough to you to cause damage of any sort.
Still-Inflation9175@reddit
just dont engage...
LoomLove@reddit
Caveat: you have to be willing to draw attention, and possibly ire, with this suggestion. In the early 2000s my sister worked downtown and it was constant persistant street people, she was even being followed to her car in the parking garage.
My dad bought her an old-school police whistle (LOUD AF) and she started blowing it long and hard directly in her tormentor's face, still walking, when folks wouldn't back off. Freaked street followers tf out. It is slightly unethical because it badly jumpscares innocent nearby normies, too. But after she did it a few times, the harassment became a fraction of what it had been.
Lumpy_Benefit666@reddit
I had one come up to me and say “can i just ask you a quick question?” And i replied “you just did”. They had no idea how to respond to it and i walked off.
Fr33speechisdeAd@reddit
Just tell them "I have pepper spray." Hold your phone up too, like you're recording. Bet they'll go away.
Mackheath1@reddit
I feel really bad for this, but...
I don't want to trivialize people who happen to be hearing impaired. I have an intern who is, so I've been learning ASL on my own time. So when I'm approached, I just sign to them that I cannot understand them, can they understand ASL? Then sometimes I'll just sign something like "beautiful day."
I have my own charities already. I know it's wrong, but this is ULPT.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
What if they sign back?
Mackheath1@reddit
I suppose the chance of that happening is very rare, but that would be the time to say (in sign) what you would say on the street? I hadn't thought of it.
hendersonh66@reddit
As your see they are approaching you, look them square in the eye, hold your hand up, palm facing them and just shake your head and keep walking
RunInRunOn@reddit
>I don't want to be an asshole
No, you don't
>I don't need to be an asshole
Yes, you do
madxw1@reddit
Honestly, headphones in --striding quickly past them, I'll smile broadly, waggle my eyebrows, comic gleam in my eye, and point to my headphones. Works great for me and I never feel like I'm being an asshole. Acknowledging them but also acknowledging (falsely) that I can't hear them and obviously don't wish to.
ScaredSafety3755@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
concrete_marshmallow@reddit
Look them dead in the eye while still walking, hold up one finger and do the 'no' side to side motion once in each direction, with a slight but firm head shake at the same time, then break eye contact and continue passing by.
Dismissive but respectful.
Worked on 90% of the people trying to sell me shit in morocco where they are very insistent.
Body language and non verbal communication is primal, it works on our subconscious before our consious mind has time to react, so by the time their brain catches up you're already past them.
If you do it right it's pretty much a guarantee.
For the few that will continue to approach, you simply turn direction slightly so that they are approaching the back of one of your shoulders, lift the arm on that side and repeat the fingle waggle no sign and keep walking.
ClaraFrog@reddit
While I think my husband could pull off the finger waggle, I am not sure every female could. Especially not an attractive female. In my life experience something like this from a female can potentially really infuriate the wrong person.
I have been attacked before when I was too "rude" in my dismissal of a street person. And what I did was less than a finger waggle, but still considered too "aggressive" to accept from a female, and I nearly got assaulted for it. Not saying something like that will happen more often than rarely-- but given my own life experience, a finger waggle isn't something I'd not try on the panhandling element as a woman.
concrete_marshmallow@reddit
I'm a woman, don't consider myself ugly.
I did it in a country considered fairly non woman friendly, worked consistently.
Don't need to be rude about it, just a solid dismissal action and removal of attention.
When in doubt, be ready to aim a knee at the nuts and then a jab at eyes or throat. They never expect a fast escalation to violence from a woman.
Then continue on your merry way.
Ballytal@reddit
Ask them why their skin is so yellow. Then walk off.
biold@reddit
I'm a very open, smiling type, so easy prey. I look closed, no eye contract, worried or angry look, absolutely no smile, hurry even when I walk poorly with cane as hurry is a body mode despite speed.
It even works in India though not 100%
howardewing@reddit
Adopt the "homeless" look. Shopping cart rounds out the outfit.
Tasty-Law-4527@reddit
Walk with a purpose faster, don't make eye contact and if they persist, say in a deadly voice "you don't want to talk to me today" Basically scare them
addictedthinker@reddit
This being Unethical… makes me think of a cattle prod. Add some punk clothing with spikes, a ferocious+messy make up, and a bit of aggressive walking… you become a different beast: less appealing for the usual offenders, but the police will be paying attention. (This is a humorous idea, not real advice!)
Nor for the real ideas: crisp walk, messy make up, alt fashion, and answering/ shouting in different idioms (real or fake) should help. Post back with your results!
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No_Educator_6376@reddit
Wear a hat that says ICE… carry pepper spray.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Way to get yourself killed
awkwardnubbings@reddit
Nobody likes talking about poop. You can always talk about poop.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Yell all about your poop.
snickrsnak@reddit
Fundraisers: I (F) used to be one. Bitch face. I don't mean glare at them, just look deeply unimpressed at the world in general. If there's a decent amount of foot traffic, they're less likely to waste time on someone who looks like a bad bet.
If it's quiet, they will try anyway. If you can't avoid their path, don't say anything, just shake your head and keep moving. Nice version is shake your head + polite smile, but either way DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT, do not look at them!! I think I actually close my eyes for a moment when I do this. It's like, no thank you, I am refusing this interaction :)
Fyi, if you do get into a conversation, there are VERY few things you can say to a fund-raiser that will make them leave you alone, the training really pushes the "everyone can afford to give" angle. If they have clipboards or tablets, "I already signed up!" is one of the safer bets. I know they're incredibly annoying, but please don't abuse them. It is a rough job even without that.
Other advice in general for avoiding hassles of all flavours is to walk fast and stare straight ahead.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
I gave at the office
3X_Cat@reddit
Tell them about Jesus.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Naw, a lot of them will be so thrilled you’ll never get away
tomhung@reddit
I jump their gun and ask them to bum a cigarette. It's so off-putting it works every time.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
My ex would do that but ask for money
Eastern-Opening9419@reddit
You must start singing Ace of Base songs very loudly (and off key) as you walk around town. “I saw the sign” is a good one to start with.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
That would attract the religious ones who want to hear about the sign
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
The way I sing they'd probably think I'm drunk or high of any other substance. Probably still a win.
orion-asterisk@reddit
There's no change you can make that will guarantee they won't engage you. The only way is to ignore them. It isn't being an asshole to do so. They're the ones invading your personal space, and they're actually COUNTING on you being afraid to be "rude." THEY are the ones being rude and you are completely justified in not engaging. If you feel REALLY bad, my old fallback is "not today, thank you" without slowing down or breaking stride.
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
She hasn't revealed precisely what has been said to her, but she revealed the various different types of people and organizations that have approached her. Correct me if I am incorrect, but i recall her naming, unions, charity etc. Now the sellers, panhandlers she can politely ignore them, but maybe those charities, unions maybe a blessing. I'm wondering is she homeless or what's really going on.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
That’s a wild take
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
You're a man aren't you? Women are approached all the time in public.
AfterSignificance666@reddit
According to their comments, theyre an old lady lol
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
Don't worry, I am NOT homeless or something... 😅 Like someone else said: The charities are searching for donations. One time or subscription based. Some only want a signature for a petition (I don't mind them, but I never know if they want money or not). The union I was talking about is the second biggest union in my country and pretty well known. Their members can be in maaaany different jobs and they search new members on the street, because they don't want to ask every firm.
orion-asterisk@reddit
The charities and unions are probably looking for donations. I've encountered many such representatives around metro areas and they can also be ignored. Yeah it feels rude but no one has the obligation to engage with a solicitor no matter their intent.
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Pretend you don’t hear them and keep walking. It’s like hanging up on spam calls. Just do it and don’t feel bad
BewareAlbatross@reddit
I grew up in NYC. I can honestly genuinely say, good luck. I'm 6'5" and am very aware that I do not look like the most promising candidate to discuss anything with especially since I shave my head to scalp. 😂 The two I hear most frequently are Private Pyle or Uncle Fester. Even when I was really out of it and truly inadvisable to approach I'd get accosted. If your entire quasi-professional career, so to speak, consists of intentionally purging from your psyche the concept of boundaries, personal space, or shame, you could light yourself on fire and they'll still want a chat.
IMHO the "invisible insignificant " routine is the only one that avoids confrontation by avoiding direct eye contact. You just... Don't hear them. Let them be background noise. Heck, wear earbuds so that you genuinely block it out if it makes it easier. Don't even acknowledge them. Wear sunglasses, too. If they are totally and completely non-people and just background noise then that's the best defense you have. They just don't matter. They aren't even there. That's how I always knew the tourists growing up. They weren't looking deliberately at nothing. 😂 It's an art and takes practice but makes you a ninja.
Living_Watercress@reddit
Pepper spray!
catnamed-dog@reddit
I'm not a woman in my 20's but I've recently starting putting on a face that just screams "that dude is super pissed, has to shit really bad, or both" and now nobody will try to sell me wireless plans.
vgtblfwd@reddit
Grow the fuck up.
myocardia27@reddit
I dealt with similar issues in my early 20s. I worked really hard on it and now have a badass RBF and no one bothers me. It’s amazing! I’m secretly a wuss when it comes to confrontation so it’s really my only defense but it works great. My bestie said I looked scary when she first met me and she was intimidated by me. lol I felt validated by that tbh 10/10 recommend
aabum@reddit
Walk past them. If the step in front of you, walk through them.
Fantastica4077@reddit
Wear sunglasses, don’t slow down or stop walking , and just shake your head “no” while keeping a resting bitch face.
AccidentOk5240@reddit
You don’t have to engage in conversation. There’s no ULPT needed here, you just have to ovary up and not fucking talk to people you don't want to talk to.
realDespond@reddit
i came up with some genuinely absurd shit to "say" in sign language
dead_hummingbird@reddit
Do not stop. Do not slow down. Don’t even look at them. Just walk right by.
If you really feel encroached upon, hold up your hand, palm facing them and say, “No!”
And just keep going. Don’t ever slow down from your pace. Don’t give them even the tiniest hope that they got your attention.
sikkerhet@reddit
I let them do their entire pitch, almost every time, before either pretending to not understand some fundamental aspect of it ("That company name sounds fake" is REALLY FUNNY when it's a well known brand) or give the most absurd denial I can imagine (like "Oh thanks but I don't really believe in phones.")
probridgedweller@reddit
“…need to be an asshole…” sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Most wouldn’t say it’s being an asshole as much as they would say it’s avoiding assholes, but to each their own.
AfterSignificance666@reddit
You gotta start being an asshole and ignoring them. Thats the protip.
TheLastPrinceOfJurai@reddit
Ignoring them is the nicest thing you can do. It’s also the most effective. Just keep walking like they don’t exist
so-so-suck-ya-toe@reddit
Yeah, make them uncomfortable since they’re making you uncomfortable. Don’t smile or apologize, just glare and be vocal if you need to. I do like those TikTok’s of women acting completely erratic when walking home late at night by themselves, so go for that kind of vibe lol.
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
That doesn't work for everyone. Ya dig. Smiling or not doesn't stop people from approaching. What works for others may not be best for her. The goal is to give her the safest, wholehearted advice and guidance. Better yet, I'm praying for her to be protected and removed safely outta whatever situation she's in that has her around and having to cross their paths. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
AfterSignificance666@reddit
LOL you do realize what sub youre on, right?
so-so-suck-ya-toe@reddit
I was talking about once she’s approached - don’t smile or apologize that she doesn’t want what they’re selling.
Also, friend, we are in r/unethicallifeprotips so wholehearted thoughts and prayers are not helpful, nor wanted here. I appreciate your sentiment, but she’s asking for tangible tips to look less approachable, I’d say acting like a lunatic could help, your thoughts and prayers much less so.
mygentlewhale@reddit
You could try dressing really weird. Hard core goth will scare off a lot of people...
Abdullah_011235@reddit
Usually for me (a man), a "sorry mate" without a change in pace or a look back suffices. I don't think it is rude. You know you don't HAVE to engage with them beyond this. They get hundreds of rejections, and you're just one of them.
This is ulpt, so you could get your femurs cut so you're 5'5", blast tren (stolen from a trans person) to become a man and have a bad diet so you're fat and have pimples on your face. This seems to work well enough for me.
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
Hilarious ULPT, even tho I'm sorry you're talking from your own experience.
My problem is I instinctively stop to talk to them, even when saying sorry and then it's too late.
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
Never say sorry. You've had some great advice here, but tus gonna take practice.
Abdullah_011235@reddit
Haha don't worry about it. I'm lucky I haven't had to deal with any excessively pushy people asking for change or trying to sell me something. It's definitely lower risk in a busy city centre. I'd be scared shitless if someone pressed me in a more secluded area especially in the dark.
HeavyMetalPootis@reddit
Got a friend who sells insurance over the phone. I recall him telling about his boss calling out a coworker in a department group chat over not being pushy. (Caller said they weren't interested and they let them go without attempting to give them a quote.) The boss's reasoning was that if they actually weren't interested, the other person on the phone would hang up. As everyone has already mentioned, you need to give a firm "No" and nothing else. If they physicall try to block you, then it may be justified to use pepper spray in their eyes. (Not a lawyer, check your local laws, etc.)
BusyBullet@reddit
Yeah, don’t stop. Treat them like they have rabies and COVID.
since_the_floods@reddit
Never break stride. Mutter "no, thank you" under your breath as you pass. Make no eye contact.
shrimpsnack@reddit
That’s the issue right there. You stop when approached. I’m a woman and I just keep walking while ignoring them. Even if people stand right in my way I just walk around them.
ClearAmphibian8003@reddit
Walk with aggressive purpose and do not stop!
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
Yes, never ever dawdle or stop or be hesitant in any way. Adopting a purposeful stride is very useful.
pennyraingoose@reddit
Not stopping is key! I wave them away or hold up my hand in a 'stop' guesture as I keep walking, sometimes saying "no thanks", sometimes saying nothing at all.
Champagne_Bunnny@reddit
Don't be nice. Just ignore and if that doesn't work, say "NO!". You don't need to do what I used to and give a reason for my no like "I'm late" or "no thank you" or "I've got no money" or anything else
I used to be in sales and we were trained to be pushy and coercive and not take no as a final answer. Street sellers are way tougher than what I did. They are employed for their way with words and inability to give up easily.
Just be more horrible. It takes practice but it'll serve you well as a woman in so many other areas of your life as well.
(I still feel awkward when I refuse to cross my own boundaries but I'm stubborn and refuse to relent).
Also, when you're 45+ they leave you alone a bit more. So, maybe, look like a cranky middle aged person 😂
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
Learn a few basic ASL terms and pretend to be deaf, or some random obscure language and pretend not to speak English.
MacTabbreigh@reddit
"I'm not stopping"
It brings them into the present moment, while excluding them from your immediate future.
RespectfullyBitter@reddit
Look up and learn how to say “I don’t speak English” in Finnish. It’s easy to pronounce, remember, and many will kind of understand “englantia” is a reference to English. Shake or tilt your head a bit while giving a “dunno” gesture with one hand as you don’t slow down but continue to stride past them.
teborigloryhole@reddit
So I look pretty homeless some days and let me tell you People don't ask for money when they don't think you have any. I mean or you can retaliate withagressively trying to sell them something back. Thats always a fun time
German_Biker@reddit
For all of the above listed scenarios EXCEPT for dealing with the the beggars a simple “Shut the fuck up or fuck off “ will always work. Some of those beggars are legit metal patients and it’s best not to antagonize them at all and keep walking.
JonathanTheZero@reddit
As a resident of a fairly touristic European city: there are basically ony two ways. Either just ignore them completely or (what I like to do, but I'm a man) just completely ragebait them. Nothing more satisfying than them leaving completely frustrated lmao.
SeaIntelligent4504@reddit
Honestly, I have the best responses when I look them in the eye (so they know I have seen them), big, acknowledging, but professional smile and then look away and carry on.
Petcai@reddit
Make a small sign on a stick that says 'not interested' and hold it up when someone approaches.
If they still come over, turn it around to the other side, where you write 'FUCK OFF'.
If they still don't get the message, hit them with the stick.
VixenTraffic@reddit
Dark sunglasses and black lipstick.
hvacgymrat@reddit
Simply ignore them, I just see it as they’re not important enough to waste the little time I have
GradStudent_Helper@reddit
Not really ULPT but...
I used to get asked by panhandlers all the freakin' time when I lived in another city. I get it, you don't have money and I look like I have more than you. If I were in your shoes I'd be asking, too. But after a year or so (and after losing probably more than $100 in total) I developed a technique that allowed me to be polite-ish, keep moving, and it bought it just enough time to get far enough away from them so that they'd have to yell to keep the conversation going.
My strategy was to "assume" that they were trying to offer ME something (an opportunity to give them something). I would just just say "no thank you!" or "No, but thanks for asking!" and keep moving.
They didn't know how to respond to that... because I had completely misunderstood their reason for approaching me. So it bought about 3 seconds and I was outta there.
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
That's the kind of tips I was hoping for! I will 100% try that
jarrucho@reddit
Just stare at the from afar very aggressively while you approach them 🤣
Lepardopterra@reddit
If you can’t stop stopping, learn this American Sign Language phrase - f u c k o f f - then walk on.
jlprufrock@reddit
Dress like a nun.
Neither_Yogurt9603@reddit
also female early 20’s: either totally ignore them and walk by as confidently as possible OR if they’re trying to get you to sign/buy stuff and you see the same groups regularly, talk to them once or look them up online and find out some qualification they are looking for in order to be eligible and then going forward if they’re trying to talk to you loudly tell them you do not meet said qualification (example: there is a group on my street every single weekend taking signatures but you have to be over 25, since finding this out if they come up to me i just yell “i’m 23!” and they back up). alternatively for beggars/organizations tell them you have no money either it often catches them off guard
The_Book_Boi@reddit
Reflective Sunglasses and better headphones
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
I haven't even considered sunglasses because I don't own any. But as for headphones I'd probably need ridiculously huge ones
CptBronzeBalls@reddit
Yeah earbuds don’t cut it. Big over the ear headphones and sunglasses are the way to go.
Wwwweeeeeeee@reddit
Never mind the semi barreling through the crosswalk at top speed though.
Common-Direction3996@reddit
Over the ear headphones! Get em
Wwwweeeeeeee@reddit
Sunglasses instead of earphones.
Practice keeping your face straight on, while doing the side eye scan.
HEARING what's around you is just as important as SEEING what's around you.
If you must listen to whatever, do it with a single earbud, not the full on headgear.
"Situational Awareness" saves lives.
And, IGNORE THEM. If you don't make eye contact and barrel on through, they give up. Your eyes give you away. If you're not hearing anything, you have to be using your eyes to scan the situation.
Why is this so difficult?
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
Please give me one or two incidents of what has specifically been said to you that you can remember. That way I can possibly bless you with the best advice. I have a daughter that's 26 and thankfully she's never had to walk anywhere,but when i was your age i did and during late night hours too.As a woman and a mother I'd rather give you the correct guidance. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
AfterSignificance666@reddit
no one here gives a fuck about your “holier than thou” argument. Its 2026, not 1972 lady
Ready_Piano1222@reddit
You need to learn the 'Urban Scowl'. Essentially, walking around looking like you're pissed off and just barely holding it together so every MF better get out the way. This comes naturally to people who live in bad areas.
Think about if you just smelled something nasty, or stepped in dog shit what your face would look like. It's that.
This is easier to pull off if you're a dude, but is attainable as a female.
Icy_Two_5092@reddit
Resting bitch face while carrying a bat.
GrapePlayful4218@reddit
Just hurry past them saying sorry, on my lunch break.
Then chuck a pissdisc at them and run
scarletOwilde@reddit
Practice your resting bitch face in the mirror, look through them as if they don’t exist and keep walking.
silsune@reddit
30s male so take this with a grain of salt but my friends have said what works is walking like you're late for something and also in a bad mood. Firm, sharp steps and eyes laser focused on the horizon, and a small scowl. People can kinda get the vibe that you are not to be bothered right now.
ClearlyVaguelyWeird@reddit
get a local police tshirt
Ladybeetus@reddit
2 methods
1: assume the "I'm late AND angry." physicality
2: act like a crazy person
Moved to NYC after suburbia, liked to go for late night walks alone.
Orpheus6102@reddit
”Not right now.”
I’ve found this to the best thing to say—say it firmly—and keep walking.
I also struggle saying no and maneuvering out of situations like this. My natural instinct is to not be rude or dismissive, but I also don’t have the time and or money to help everyone. By parsing “not now” you’re not saying “No” you’re saying it is not a good time for you to engage right then. It is subtle but it does not give them a lot to push back on as you’re not saying “No” or “yes”.
unfinished_diy@reddit
Wear a badge on a chain around your neck.
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sfdsquid@reddit
Don't talk to them or acknowledge them in any way. If you don't engage you won't have to lie or make excuses as to why you're not going to buy something, become a Hari Krishna, or give them change.
Just stop.
IntensitiesIn10Citys@reddit
I just light a smoke when there approaching me. Its antisocial enough to keep them away. If they still persist I asked them if there okay with standing outside harassing people while the ceo of their "charity" drives a Lamborghini then ask them what percentage if the donation goes to the cause. Most look ups show its under 10 percent with the rest going to their overhead and pockets. If they dont donate at least 80 percent and keep just whats needed to run the charity they shouldn't be a charity. No one should get rich off running a charity. Keep in mind I do this while actively smoking. Its them that are trying to get away from me in the end. (Now I have linkin park in my head!)
InfluenceDapper6476@reddit
Learn where they 'bottle' you, it's not only an individual tactics, it's a herd one. Plan your walk with zig zags if possible, learn where to take short cuts. If you get brave enough, try yelling out as loud as you can "GET OUT OF MY WAY" and windmill your arms, hiss...bark. Some of them use any minute bodily or vocal queue to try and plant themselves in front of you or guilt trip, failing this and if able bodied walk just a little quicker and use your shoulder like an Aussie Rules bump. You'd be surprised how little is needed to topple someone in your personal space and if they do get in your space you are free to scream, bite, scratch, and go properly ape shit in self defence. I have met the guy who claims to have invented Melbourne 'chugging' and he is a Uni Professor at a Victorian University I'll let you guess which one.. and he looks exactly as you would expect someone who would claim they invented chugging 'Charity Muggers'. Desperate UK back packers on hard commission for the Red Cross was utter bottom dwelling atrocious behaviour in Melbourne CBD especially 2010-2020 pre Covid social distancing. That combined with Metpigs helping to bottle you in more.
UnlikelyStaff5266@reddit
Offer them a piss disk.
ScruffGin@reddit
I just ignore them completely... Look through them
jaidau@reddit
Move away from the 3rd world though everywhere seems to be regressing towards it
scarr3g@reddit
Make a tight fist in each hand.
Straighten your arms out, rock solid.
Now swing them in full on haymakers as you walk.
Nobody will go near you.
taltallytalia@reddit
Asterion724@reddit
The asshole in a mosh pit approach. I like it
Holeyunderwear@reddit
Patchouli oil, lots of face piercings, and dreads. Works on men too. Keeps just about everyone away.
The other option is do not make eye contact or acknowledge them in any way. Don’t slow down or stop and walk around them when they try to step in front to get you to stop. Anyone makes contact then you bend your finger tips over and deliver a shot to their throat and keep on moving.
RogueGrasshopper101@reddit
Tell them you already donate to charity of your choice
pr0s0c@reddit
My standard reply is "No, thank you". Whatever the question, claim or whine: look at them, smile faintly and say "No, thank you". Then ignore and walk on.
It just works.
Rotoroa@reddit
Burka
Klutzy-Comment6897@reddit
You absolutely don’t engage in a conversation, you ignore them, pretend you are deaf and keep walking.
InvisibleSeoh@reddit
I’ve started holding my hand out in the universal “stop right there” gesture and just saying a loud “no”, whenever someone with a clipboard tries to engage me outside a grocery store. It’s been shockingly effective. They never even try to tell me what petition they want me to sign.
Environmental-Mess-1@reddit
Wear an N95 mask (or surgical or fabric if preferred). People stay away from me when I wear one, regardless of me being visibly healthy and symptom-free
bmmana@reddit
You have to practice your Resting Bitch Face. This keeps most people away.
Lifestyle-Creeper@reddit
Do not engage. Blank them and walk right past without reacting to whatever they’re saying. Attitude and walking with intention are the key. Also get good at positioning yourself in the crowd away from any of them that always hang in the same spots. Read The Gift of Fear. You don’t owe these people your attention and you don’t have to be nice or polite.
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RellinTyrian@reddit
Easily seen Headphones + big black or mirrored sunglasses. Don’t stop when they approach you. The attention will die down in your 30s, hang in there 😂
ur_mom_n_dem@reddit
When they look at you stare right back at them and make your eyes big and Wild and just give them the crazy eyes and do a crazy ass smile all your teeth showing
dreamsiclebomb@reddit
Wear giant reflective sunglasses
JoinedReddit@reddit
You don't have to engage in shit. They called you Sue, your name is Jane. Straight ignore, keep moving.
Potential-Question-4@reddit
Don't stop and talk.
Key-Candle8141@reddit
Learn to say I dont speak English in a language you make up
Keep shrugging and repeating the nonsense as you quickly walk away
NotEnoughRocks1977@reddit
Work on your Resting Bitch Face skills. I'm almost never approached.
Comfortable_Style_51@reddit
This. I have the most aggressive RBF and I love it. Doesn’t hurt that I’m furious most of the time, too.
ConcertinaTerpsichor@reddit
Sunglasses, frown, ball cap.
scratchtheitch7@reddit
Just blank them
im_no_doctor_lol@reddit
I seen a video where a young girl explains how to not get kidnapped. Walk around like you just smoked meth and everyone just leaves you alone 😅🤙🏻
throwaway2026z@reddit
I just straight up ignore them like the walking ad they are lol.
frame-gray@reddit
If I really don't wanna talk to the passer-bys, me singing to myself works. This also has the advantage of people noticing my white cane. It's so annoying when they don't, because then they start running into the side that that I don't see out of. (I'm blind in one eye.)
SixAlarmFire@reddit
Just say no. Shake your head. Keep walking. You're not rude, they're rude for approaching when you obviously do not want them to.
Icy-Management9880@reddit
"No." is a complete sentence
Ch1mchima@reddit
You’re too nice (seriously). Be less nice.
Lucky_Enthusiasm_949@reddit
Don't make ANY eye contact or even pretend like you're deaf lol
ExtremeAthlete@reddit
Try walking faster as you approach them. Slow down after you have passed them.
distributingthefutur@reddit
Just carry on a running argument with yourself. Nobody will bother you. Occasionally, yell, "you! You're on my list!" to some of the hawkers.
RunnySpoon@reddit
You could carry a machete in each hand, white-knuckle grip while scowling will add to the effect, at least one of them should be dirty/rusty. You need to look them dead in the eye as they’re approaching and then stretch or roll you neck muscles like you’re prepping for some kind of vigorous activity. If you have a gum shield or mouth guard, have that in your hand and pop it in your mouth as they’re get closer.
You got this, girl!
haleontology@reddit
Goth it up babe, works like a charm😉
ShoddyJuggernaut975@reddit
Become them. Make up some pamphlets for a fake religion and when they try to stop you to sell you stuff or preach to you, preach to them instead.
Pleasant-Minute6066@reddit
I "look mean" and walk like I know where I'm going. Dont make eye contact, scowl a bit and also say "No thankyou I dont have any money for you" in an assertive but polite tone.
Every-Difference5561@reddit
No thank you, and keep pushin. Repeat if necessary
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
Apology accepted. But give this young lady that apology as well. Because nowadays people are getting unalived because of rejection.
Dorsai56@reddit
Open carry pepper spray in your hand.
Leaf-Stars@reddit
Fake booger halfway out your nose would do it.
mister-ferguson@reddit
Drag your foot, limp, add a snear, and cough a lot.
andy-3290@reddit
Ask them for money.
Kindly-Purchase1292@reddit
Well, maybe there's a spiritual meaning ,blessing and lesson behind why random individuals approach you. Now, keep your interactions brief and use divine guidance and discernment. Because possibly your words may encourage someone. I'm constantly approached by people from all classes 1st, middle and poverty, from lawyers, homeless, drug addicts, foreign people that don't speak English. However, my brief encounters have always been helpful for them and a blessing & lesson for me. Ya just might be a earth angel a healer.🙏🏿
BBorNot@reddit
Fake beard, bowler hat.
fullname_birthyear@reddit
Tell them how happy you are they wanna talk to you because you have a great opportunity for them to buy into your pyramid scheme.
Tonkatte@reddit
Look crazy, act crazy. No one wants to deal with crazy. And if that doesn’t dissuade them, I give them a big crazy smile as I walk away singing to myself.
Oh, and muttering with occasional outbursts really makes people turn away.
like_Turtles@reddit
Ha they never ask me, my wife and kid reckon my resting face looks angry and grumpy.
sammanthax345@reddit
No eye contact. Rest B face/angry as hell. Talking on a fake call also helps.
QueasyAdvance7753@reddit
Big, rolling farts. Also, not unethical at all, but once I grew out my armpit and leg hair I have finally been left alone. Tricky to flash those pit kittens in the winter though
IndgoViolet@reddit
Squirt bottle full of water. Treat them like misbehaving cats
CptNemo55@reddit
Just shake your head and say, "No thank you" and keep walking. No matter what they ask or say, "No thank you" and keep walking.
_Internet_Hugs_@reddit
The sooner you learn to embrace your inner demon child, the better.
Bark at them. Make dinosaur noises. Hiss at them. Act like a crazy person. Make them want to get away from you.
They are using societal expectations of politeness to manipulate you, so act contrary to politeness. It's not being an asshole, it's not falling for their scam. Impolite people don't deserve your time and attention.
x_lincoln_x@reddit
Either completely ignore them or carry an air horn and blast them with it when they violate your space.
Critical_Cat_8162@reddit
Mirror sunglasses. Do not smile. Walk purposefully.
reverievt@reddit
I tell them I don’t speak English, in French.
1badh0mbre@reddit
As soon as they start to speak to you, interrupt them and ask them for a dollar.
Comprehensive_Cut179@reddit
Learn some phrases in Arabic or something
DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit
Scratch your face with your middle finger.🖕
BusyBullet@reddit
I’m a male so it’s easier for me but it’s all about attitude.
I used to meet another male friend for lunch and he would always dread walking by these people and I just told him that they wouldn’t bother me.
He didn’t believe me until a couple of times when they ignored me and went right for him.
One thing I did was imagined that I’m magically putting on armor. Sort of like Iron Man’s suit with pieces slapping on my body - legs, arms, torso etc.
That affected the way I walked and my general attitude.
I also didn’t look them in the eye and planned on completely ignoring them if they approached me.
It’s definitely easier for a guy but you can reduce the interactions with your body language.
Occasionally someone will approach me begging or selling stuff and I interrupt them by saying “no!” sternly and sharply. Don’t wait for them to finish their sentence or even the first word.
dorianfinch@reddit
Talking to myself and visibly stimming in public usually keeps weirdos away I find
Hidden_Vendetta@reddit
Start vaping aggressively
TicketyB000@reddit
None of us are, or should feel obligated to engage with anyone. Just ignore and go on with your business.
The_best_is_yet@reddit
Just ignore them. Sounds bad but they are talking advantage of your kindness, which is definitely worse.
Follow_youre_heart@reddit
I saw an old-timer do this in a Wal-Mart parking lot and I'm stealing it
Person approaches with a sob story: "I'm trying to make it to____ city and just need to put together enough for a tank of gas"
Old-timer: "NO!" walks away
I was like damn, that's bold yet effective
Law_hacker_1000@reddit
This one is easy - and i do it ROUTINELY overseas -
I DRESS DOWN
nearly look like a homeless bum - bonus points if you have BO.
You will be left alone.
Kamiden@reddit
"I don't talk to vampires"
vonhoother@reddit
Do you live in an open carry state? I figure it's either that or a chador, or a nun's habit.
>they keep talking to me and I have to engage in a conversation even tho I don't want to or need to be an asshole and ignore them.
Anyone who keeps talking to you when you don't want to engage in conversation is already being an asshole unless they're conveying urgent safety-related information. You don't have to engage, and in some situations it's safer not to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with ignoring them.
bionicallyironic@reddit
Murder Strut! This bit of Tumblr lore is permanently lodged in my brain. I’ve tried it once or twice and it does work. I might just have RBF, though*. Similarly, look up the interview where Charlize Theron talks about how she perfected her evil queen walk by thinking “MURDER.”
supertucci@reddit
Not unethical just life pro tip. 1. Adopt an offputting expression. Practice in the mirror if you must. You need to look slightly pissed off, or slightly hurried, or very late 2. Double your walking speed 3. Adopted gaze that never looks anybody in the eye. Always off to the side or above. 4. Figure out a script for when you are approached. Thing one is to say absolutely nothing, don't look the person in the eye, and keep moving. If you're not good at that then simply say "no". No explanation. The members of my family who struggle with this as you do will give a long explanation about how they don't need a chop-chopper or do-whistler because they have two at home instead of just walking on, or just saying "no".
You might be a nice person. That's getting in your way because you're worried that strangers I think you're a nice person?
TattooedWenchkin@reddit
Instead of #4, just flip them the bird and keep walking. No script necessary.
Miami_Mice2087@reddit
sunglasses
air horn
bear spray
lnarn@reddit
Nah, im fat, they still bug the shit out of me.
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siannan@reddit
Look up the Charlize Theron Murder Walk. It hasn't failed me yet.
spageddy_lee@reddit
Wear headphones, signal to them youre on a call. 🤙🏼
2Loves2loves@reddit
Cough and sneeze on them. Oh, sorry, I've got the Flu
blissvicious91@reddit
get their attention, then ignore them. make a game out of it. if they're gonna waste your time, waste theirs. professional homeless people suck.
Deep-Hovercraft6716@reddit
Pepper spray. Right in their face. They will learn quickly enough.
Automatic_Ad1887@reddit
I was in a similar situation once in Billings MT.
It started to drizzle, I had no coat. Bought surplus camo light rain jacket.
Pulled the hood on, and no one spoke to me.
desi_fubu@reddit
headphones
sipu36@reddit
Tell em in passing that sry, i am late for my test for tuberculosis.
Getting the hang of Not stopping is the best in my experience. Remember, they are uneducated or brainwashed or scammy or criminal assholes for bothering people with their shit, not you.
miserablenovel@reddit
Just say no and keep walking, but belting out weird song lyrics from musicals is always great for looking nuts
Wish I could take a few walks with you. There's a lot of resting bitch face it's worthwhile cultivating as a young woman! Now that I'm a little older they don't bother me as much.
Healthy_Candle_4545@reddit
Just start barking at them. It always works for me
This_Cartoonist_379@reddit
An umbrella is permitted to be carried at all times. And when open, an umbrella makes a quick and efficient barrier. Put the barrier between you and the person/persons you are trying to avoid. They get the message. You get piece. Win win.
Pandamonium-N-Doom@reddit
Clothes with spikes on them, it worked for me when I was a girl 🤣
Miss_Moooody@reddit (OP)
Hm, investing in some alt-clothes seems like a good idea suddenly. Guess I'll be a punk
zzzelot@reddit
Wear liquid ass as perfume