Hi all,

So i have a therapist but they are not really the most pragmatic.. I’m in the Dutch system and it is quite system-first oriented rather than solutions oriented, imo. I am running laps around my psych's head to the point where he isn’t’ able to intellectually keep up nor note my progress let alone help me define my own vector… I need to find someone professional to help but at the same time, finding viable care in the dutch system is... often feels like it costs more energy in than care out. feeling very much on my own in navigating things.

I’ve had a few conversations with friends, family, and Claude (lol) regarding this annoying cognitive process that I want to address. In some ways it’s a form of rumination, basically my mind keeps track of [american cultural fascits] and [dutch cultural fascits] and is running a periodic routine… ill catch myself just being frustrated because i feel disempowered by something, some interaction - but its because I’m identifying with ‘the American way of doing things’ or ‘being polite and considerate while cutting and professional’ and simply do not jive with Dutch culture. I have a dutch passport, am quite happy with the quality of life on the surface level - but deep down i miss well... depth, warmth, genuine kindness. The stuff thats normal in latin/anglo saxon cultures but less in germanic ones - I also just don't know how to/cant interface with the coldness of germanic and nordic social cultures.

I’m trying to keep my attention focused on proactive positive things, and cut out this comparison process. It’s just… unnecessary and while it maybe helped me and continues to help me explain cultural nuances to friends who still live back home… it actually hurts me quite a bit. I feel I need to ‘let go’ of the old ways and simply ‘embrace where i am, the customs, etc’ but it’s incredibly difficult.

Does anyone out there have any references that come to mind? Perhaps personal experience?

many thanks in advance