Feeling confused about some social behaviors in the U.S. : is this normal?
Posted by Top_Engine3205@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 45 comments
Hi everyone,
I wanted to share a couple moments I feel uncomfortable and see if I’m misunderstanding something culturally.
•When getting off a plane, I’ve seen people stretch their legs out into the aisle and block the walkway without feeling guilty.
•While driving, there were situations where the road was wide enough for 2-3 cars, but instead of adjusting slightly, the other driver expected me to back up so he could drive straight down the middle.
•Another time, when I was parking and a pedestrian suddenly hit my trunk and started yelling loudly, which felt pretty aggressive and unexpected.
Would really appreciate any insights so I can better understand and adapt. Thanks!
fakesaucisse@reddit
Situation 1: I guess kinda annoying but also, airlines are decreasing passenger space all the time. Is it really so awful that someone needs a stretch? Maybe other countries should normalize this.
Situation 2: kinda unclear from your description, but was the road marked for two lanes on your driving side or was it just a wide single lane road? The latter is pretty common and it's expected you will follow as a single lane, not randomly make it two-lane because someone wants to go faster. That's just how the law works here.
Situation 3: sounds like you backed into a spot without looking for pedestrians. In the US, pedestrians have the right of way in a majority of situations. So, you got a warning tap because you almost ran someone over.
logaboga@reddit
GOTaSMALL1@reddit
Selfish? Wait your fucking turn to get off the plane.
logaboga@reddit
If someone is sitting down and blocking the war from people behind them who are up and moving yeah that is fucking selfish lol
elvenmal@reddit
Number one makes me so mad as an American. People will be deplaning and a person will literally block everyone else so they can arch their backs and swing their arm instead of grabbing their bags, getting off the plane, MOVING AWAY FROM THE DOOR, and stretching. I cannot tell you how many Americans I have ran into the back of, who got out of the jet way and immediately stopped in front of the door to stretch or look at their phones, blocking all the people behind them. It’s about special awareness and use of common spaces. And a lot of people unfortunately lack that from my experience. (And honestly, being a car dependent society that doesn’t have widely used mass transit I think contributes to that.)
elvenmal@reddit
Number one, unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot. A lot of Americans are used to traveling by cars and aren’t the most considerate, or socially aware, when on shared transit or public walkways. I live in a major US city and it’s very obvious when someone is an American tourist from a suburb, because they will stop and block the sidewalk (not considering people right behind them), they will walk four abreast on a busy sidewalk (with oncoming foot traffic that has to run into them or go into a busy street to get around them when passing) and they won’t drop back to 2 abreast with oncoming foot traffic either, or they will stop in a group and are blocking crosswalks. It’s infuriating and extremely rude, and unfortunately, common.
Number two… depends. Just because something looks like it should be a multi lane road doesn’t mean it is one. Or that a one way road is two lanes. A lot of times there is a parking lane that isnt full or isnt marked. Or technically the road isn’t multi lanes (due to lane width laws.) So a person moving over to drive two abreast when the road “looks” wide enough isn’t always legal.
Three… pedestrians have the right of way. If you were crossing a crosswalk or a sidewalk when backing out or parking, and you didn’t stop for them to walk across, I would expect someone to hit your truck with their hand to get your attention, especially if they were already crossing.
I also know at least three people that have been hit by inconsiderate drivers that didn’t break for people crossing a sidewalk when pulling into a driveway or backing into of one. One time when a big truck backed up into a space and was trying to let their truck bed hang over the sidewalk, and was backing up until their wheels hit the curb, intending to overhang their truck bed, blocking 3/4th the sidewalk (don’t do this. This is a dick move, and makes it hard for people in wheelchairs to use the sidewalk, making this park job extremely ableist), and instead their hit my friend when was walking in the sidewalk. So, ya. I know a lot of people that would flat palm a truck to not get hit again or at all.
Now, if the pedestrian was in the middle of the street (not a crosswalk) or jaywalking between cars and they did this, they were being rude.
elvenmal@reddit
Also, pedestrians have the right of way in parking lots too. So if you were backing out of a parking slot and someone was walking behind you, they would still have the right of way.
jackofspades49@reddit
Number 2. IDK, you stay in your lane. I don't know hat you're tlaking about just freballing lanes like this.
elvenmal@reddit
In my major US city, we have a road that has parking on either side and then traffic in the middle in between the parking, but it’s REALLY tight. You can definitely fit two cars passing each other going opposite directions, if one of the cars is not an F150. And it does look like a very narrowed road. However, a lot of people not used to congestion city traffic freak out on this road and will drive down the middle, blocking then oncoming traffic lane or making cars back up to accommodate them. I honestly see this a lot with people who are used to wider suburban roads in the Midwest. Maybe this is what the OP is referring to?
Then again, I know of multiple roads (especially one ways) that LOOKS like they are two lanes but really are only one lane due to traffic lanes.
1nfam0us@reddit
Could be an old person who doesn't trust their spatial awareness enough to drive normally.
Which means they are too old to drive, but hey who's counting.
Top_Engine3205@reddit (OP)
Oh yes, I think your point makes most sense. I was in Las Vegas in number 2, and the driver’s eyes looked really red, maybe he hadn’t slept all night or had been drinking, so his spatial awareness wasn’t great.
Crayshack@reddit
Some small roads don't have marked lanes.
GOTaSMALL1@reddit
Wait what? People get off planes from front to back on every flight I’ve ever been on or heard of in my entire life. It is literally impossible to block the aisle.
Well… I guess it’s possible if some asshole is immediately jumping out of their seat behind the wing and making a beeline for the front door.
Narrow-Psychology909@reddit
1) I guess people do that to control the flow of passengers exiting and to secure being able to get up and remove their luggage comfortably.
2) This is strange behavior. Most people drive within the lines.
3) Some pedestrians will hit your car if they feel like you endangered them.
None of that is normal. It seems like nowadays the way Americans act while using transportation is becoming curiouser and curiouser.
EstablishmentSea7661@reddit
Number 3 is not rude. I walk to and from work, my kids schools, etc. I have been hit many times (only minor injuries though) and seen kids hit by drivers not paying attention. Telling a shit driver (sounds like OP is one) to PAY ATTENTION is important. I'll give that it's odd it was in a parking area, usually when I've been hit it's a driver turning right out of a driveway (strip mall etc) and so theyre only looking left at oncoming traffic.
Yes, I will bang on your hood as you hit me. As does everyone else I know. It's absolutely normal.
Top_Engine3205@reddit (OP)
Thank you! #1 makes sense, but I’m still confused, why didn’t he stand up and line up? Wouldn’t that be considered cutting in line in the U.S.?
oldfarmjoy@reddit
Particular-Move-3860@reddit
These aren't American customs. They are just examples of some people being dicks. Don't take it as anti-foreigner. As an American I have had similar experiences right here in my own country. It takes all kinds to make a world. You just happened to run into a few examples of the stupidly self-important kind.
LaujoBear@reddit
For situation 3, someone mentioned that pedestrians have the right of way, but it's also really common for them to not make sure that their right of way won't get them hit. Personally, I follow the rule of "if I can't see their faces, they most certainly cannot see me, and I need to not assume that my "pedestrian right of way" will magically make sure they don't hit me. People here really do like to walk without looking and assume everyone else will heed them. I guess you can use this for your other 2. We kind of have a very individual mentality here, and don't always think about the people around us. We also do have a lot of straight up jerks.
66NickS@reddit
RolandDeepson@reddit
All 3 of these need more context.
1) If it's either excessive in what they do (more than half the aisle breadth, more than 30 seconds with no visible effort by them in working towards getting their belongings collected, etc) or insufficient in what you to in response (being ambiguous about your polite need to proceed past their blockage) then my no-further-context logic would be to politely, but unmistakably, ask to squeeze by (whereby them making room for you within 30 seconds would be considered "immediate" on their part).
2) I'd have to see a visual representation of the roadway context, including other third party vehicles and pedestrians and stationary obstacles and landmarks. But on balance, this is likely simply a difference in driving norms between cultures.
3) Whenever any pedestrian physically contacts the exterior of any vehicle, the rebuttable BUT HEAVY presumption is that the vehicle operator erred in some way. Many likely errors are excusable, but again many are less so. This presumption, as I state, is rebuttable of course, but such rebuttals would be very fact-sensitive. To walk is considered basically a right, whereas to move vehicles and equipment is generally licensed which is a legal terms that describes being "based on permission that is special in some way." Again, there are exceptions, but it is most assuredly upon the person operating equipment or a vehicle to do so IN ANTICIPATION of spatial conflicts, and this is exponentially true when operating a vehicle in reverse gear.
DogsBikesAndMovies@reddit
There's an order in which we get off a plane. I don't know, but it's possible that you were trying to deboard before it was your turn.
What do you mean there was room for 2-3 cars? We have lanes. There's no grey area on this; it's either two lanes or three. Fast lane is on the left and middle lane is in-between fast and slow.
If a pedestrian hit your trunk, you probably almost hit them. Drive more carefully.
Frankjc3rd@reddit
As far as the second one goes, some folks just aren't aware of how big their car is and think that there is no room. That was a pet peeve of my father's. 🚘🚗🛣️😐
Top_Engine3205@reddit (OP)
Fair point!
ThisIsDogePleaseHodl@reddit
All of these behaviors are behaviors of people who are rude. It’s not typical that Americans are all rude despite what a lot of the rest of the world believes
I’ve never done any of the things listed and the people I know and my family and friends and that I’ve always hung around with Don’t do those things either.
Destrion425@reddit
I feel like people forgot America is the 3rd largest country in the world. We’re going to have more rude people, but not because everyone here is rude.
ThisIsDogePleaseHodl@reddit
Exactly and thank you! Yes, with a higher number of people you’re gonna have a higher number of rude ones. I would wager we have the same percentage of rude people here as there is in a smaller country it just equates to a much larger number
Top_Engine3205@reddit (OP)
To clarify since I couldn’t go over 750 characters: for #3, I was parking when the guy suddenly came up to me from somewhere else.
ghjm@reddit
The guy on the airplane is an asshole. We do have them.
The other two sound like you've brought some different driving style. The pedestrian maybe hit your trunk because you didn't yield in the elected way, or something. And we don't just randomly decide to go two abreast, we stay in the marked lanes.
h4baine@reddit
1 and 2 are just random oddness. I've done 3 when a car has nearly hit me. I think it's a fair response to almost being killed.
PerceptivePines@reddit
1) Not normal to be inconsiderate 2) Your description doesn’t make sense 3) You probably almost hit the guy
Trinx_@reddit
Situation 1: deboarding usually occurs in order front to last. How would people be blocking the aisle during deboarding unless they're not getting off? That would in itself be very odd, let alone sticking a leg into traffic risking injury.
Situation 2: many more rural areas people expect a multi-foot radius of free space around their cars at all times. They can't fathom that both cars will fit on a road that fits 2 cars. I run into this in Indiana and it's one thing I'm grateful for with Chicago driving now - Chicago drivers are used to driving with other cars on the road.
Situation 3: is it possible you almost hit someone? I have seen this before. Usually on behalf of someone else. It's way more common to yell or just give someone a stink eye or flip them off (although in other parts they suspect you may have a gun and avoid confrontation)
SeaGurl@reddit
For #2, it kind of depends where you are. The main street in my neighborhood technically could accommodate 4 lanes of traffic, 2 in each direction BUT its to allow for parking along the road. There aren't any marked lanes so officially it is just one extra wide lane. So while you could fit two cars side by side driving, you're not really supposed to.
champ11228@reddit
You can't just drive side by side if it's a one lane road
Did you almost hit someone when you were backing up? Hard to tell what the situation was.
DharmaCub@reddit
Sounds like you're a reckless driver but think you're the one whose right? If everything smells like shit, check your shoe.
YonderPricyCallipers@reddit
The first one is just people being inconsiderate, and I think most people would think it's rude. The one with the drivers not making way for another car beside them? Roads in the US are almost all specifically meant for either one-lane driving or multiple lanes... some one-lane stretches of road may seem wide enough to fit 2 cars side by side, but they're still not 2-lane roads. Unless you see clear lane demarcation? Don't assume you can just make another lane. 3rd... someone banging aggressively on your car and yelling as you were backing out: that should be expected... it indicates that you were backing out without making sure that there was no one there. You could have injured the person. They were not unjustified.
Independent-Yam-6036@reddit
The USA is ginormous. Please break it down by state or some other criteria.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
None of this behavior is typical. I'm sure you could go to literally any country and find people doing rude things
lakehop@reddit
In some countries, there are far fewer people Who exhibit extremely selfish behaviours.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
[Citation Needed]
Return_Of_The_Whack@reddit
This is actually a big part of American culture. We believe in our collective mythology there are malevolent spirits inhabiting the mortal world and their sole purpose is to cause discord and misery. We call them "dumb assholes"
BoBoBearDev@reddit
Never seem number 2. Or actually it is so hard to believe it happened, I am not sure I understand the situation correctly.
55forever@reddit
for 1) you don't inherently know if they feel guilty or not, you're only observing the behavior. also - are these people stretching their legs out into the aisle, and then...not moving them when people attempt to walk? or are they just stretching temporarily as soon as the plane lands? bc the temporary stretching is very fine/normal.
for 2) it really does not matter how wide the road is - what matters is how many lanes are marked. if it's only one lane, then don't try to drive side-by-side. if that's the case, this isn't rude, they're obeying traffic laws.
for 3) as someone else said, some people are just dicks. but if you had almost hit someone, or exhibited another dangerous behavior, someone may have hit your trunk as a reaction to that.
Destrion425@reddit
1 and 2 you just got unlucky. I’ve been on many domestic flights and many small backroads and I’ve never seen that.
3rd one depends on some things. If they were walking through the parking spaces and you just tried parking there they would be justified (you have to wait till it’s empty before pulling in). If they walk in front of you while you were parking and you didn’t stop, slightly less justified. If they just walked up and hit your car they’re a jerk.
Jedi4Hire@reddit
🙄 Some people are assholes, news at 11.