My last physical was an assault on my dignity.

Prep was awful. After you drink the first jug get a book and just sit on the toilet. If you have a tablet, stream a series. It's gonna be along night.

Colonoscopy on the other hand was the best sleep I've ever had

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ladydonttekno1@reddit

My sister just got hers done kind of recently and she did not have a good time with the prep. I need to get mine done and I'm terrified.

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I did Su-Tab tablets, AND for two days beforehand I ate no meat. The day before prep, when I was still allowed to eat, I ate only a “low residue diet”, cheese grits, white bread, eggs, coffee, cheese sandwich on white bread. On “liquid diet only” day, I had clear liquids with no red or purple, as instructed. So lots of black coffee, black tea, Coke, Mountain Dew, Apple juice, white cranberry, peach juice.

The tablets were very easy to take, and I just kept drinking water (and tea). After an initial rush of diarrhea it turned into nearly clear liquid, which went on for 3 hours. I got some sleep in the middle of the night, then had to get up at 2 am for pills round 2, but by that time it was just clear liquid coming out. It was not nearly as bad as the internet made it sound, except being SUPER HUNGRY at work all day on Liquid Diet Day.

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PickledPixie83@reddit

This was a way better experience that the terrible drink I had to drink that almost made me throw up both times.

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Aronacus@reddit

Like i said, take the suprep.

Get you tablet, a good book, and the moment you feel the first urge to go. Go to your bathroom and just stay there.

I didn't get much sleep that night. By midnight i took my second dose and buy 2am was empty.

Fell asleep in my bed and the next day was a bit sore from the prep.

Colonoscopy was easy. Went in, got the anesthesia, woke up an hour later feeling refreshed.

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GloomyAsparagus7253@reddit

Quite literally. Did I just dream I shit my pants? Nope. I shit my pants in my dream and IRL. Why? Because I had to drink the 2nd dose of prep solution at 12:30 am and went to sleep when I mistakenly thought there couldn't possibly be anymore bowel movements left. So now it's 3:30 am and I'm taking a shower and changing my bed sheets and I've never wished to be asleep in bed more than right now but I have to be up much much earlier than usually to get to the surgery center on time and now I'm worried I'll sleep through my alarm.

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mcfetrja@reddit

This is getting filed under “anecdotal evidence supporting my stance on staying in a hotel the night before your colonoscopy”

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Far-Slice-3821@reddit

Do you have kids? I wish middle of the night showers and sheet changes while still needing to be up at 5am were a once-a-decade event.

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IHkumicho@reddit

Wha? What time was your appointment? My appointment was at 8am, and I started my prep the night before at 5pm. Then second (final) dose was 5 hours before I left for the appointment (so 4:30am) and had to be finished by 5am.

I was done peeing out of my butt by 9 or 9:30pm, got a good night sleep and then was just awake from 4:30am on.

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ladydonttekno1@reddit

In 2026 the year of our lord, there has to be a better way to do this! I'm so sorry, this sounds horrible and precisely why I've been putting off my own appointment despite knowing better.

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Glittering_Tea5502@reddit

Omg I totally agree. I haven’t turned 45 yet, so I still haven’t had my first colonoscopy, but I fear I’m gonna barf as well as poop out everything from the last century. If my most recent stomach bug gave me any clue, OMFG! Cramps, dizziness, nausea, diarrhea, pain, on the verge of fainting. Jesus Christ superstar!

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Busy_Raisin_6723@reddit

This happened to me to, when the doctor said to start the prep at 3:00 pm. Now I take it in the morning!

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vblballentine@reddit

The prep was an absolute nightmare for me and I even did the pills instead of the drink. A couple hours after taking my 2nd dose of pills, I was projectile vomiting in my backyard (couldn't make it to the bathroom) while shitting my pants. My body felt wrecked. While I was "knocked out" during the procedure I had the most horrible monster dreams. And when I woke up in recovery I couldn't stop sobbing. 0/10 stars will do again in 10 years.

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ladydonttekno1@reddit

I'm so sorry, this is exactly the kind of story that keeps me putting off my own appointment

gif

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snarkrn@reddit

Here’s another story:

I did mine last week. Spent an hour in the bathroom after the prep each time. Slept all night. Woke up from my propofol nap feeling great and ate a burger.

No family history, but they removed two precancerous polyps. I do another one in 5 years. Please don’t put it off (she says, after putting it off for 3 years).

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vblballentine@reddit

Do it! Then you can join the club of prep horror stories. You never know you might be one of the lucky people who have no issues with prep. Then the rest of us can be silently jealous of you.

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Effective_Cable6547@reddit

Honestly, my prep was like a typical day for me, but without the stomach cramps. I had diarrhea all day most days (hence the colonoscopy) so it was a nothing burger. Bonus - not only was I cancer free, I was biopsied for celiac during my upper GI and colonoscopy and now I’m gluten and diarrhea free and feeling better. Get your scope! There are all sorts of things it can find for you.

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SunshineInDetroit@reddit

it's really not that bad.

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library_wench@reddit

I had mine not too long ago and it was really not that bad at all.

I did the MiraLAX in the Gatorade prep. Was barely even hungry because the Gatorade filled me up so much. It’s no fun, but not horrible. Have a series ready to binge, expect not to get very much sleep, schedule the appointment, if possible, for mid-morning. Pro tip: follow the instructions to the letter and eat very lightly several days before prep starts. You’ll be a little peckish but the prep will be that much easier.

The prep is the worst of it. Once you get in there, quick shot, little nap. I woke up refreshed and ready for brunch!

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carriethelibrarian@reddit

I really, really, really HATE the prep. Eveneith it only being like 2 days/ a day and a half. It messes up my system for a week.

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Accomplished-Run221@reddit

The prep is a biological nightmare. If those effects hit you at any other span of your evolution, your brain would rightly be informing you that death was eminent.

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Forever_Forgotten@reddit

The prep is horrible, and if they find and remove precancerous polyps (like they did with mine), you’re pretty sore and popping blood for a couple of days after.

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Electrical-Dig8570@reddit

The prep was less than fun. The procedure was a breeze.

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AttyMAL@reddit

The prep was fine for me. It was the aftermath that was rough. I've had a hemorrhoid off and on for years. Normally no problems at all. It might flare up once a year, if that much. Post colonoscopy, it was in a 6 month state of flaring up basically every week from the most minor things.

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HipHopGrandpa@reddit

Everybody is different. Mine was hell. Prep was the easy part.

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kittenpantzen@reddit

Were you awake? In the united states, they almost always knock you out, but I know that's not the norm everywhere.

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Number1Framer@reddit

I'm type 1 diabetic so the hard cutoff on eating can be difficult to navigate. I usually try to run my sugars somewhat higher so I don't risk going low and needing to eat something while doing the prep but I have been told they won't sedate if your sugar gets over 250. It can be a tight line to walk but even then I don't find it anywhere near as difficult as I sometimes see it made out to be.

I really think it's the attack inflicted on your dignity that makes it so difficult for some people. Those of us that have been in the medical trenches forever are all like "meh today it's my ass, tomorrow it'll be something else." The upside is being diabetic gets me moved to front of the line on procedure day so I'm out and eating that magical first meal by lunch time.

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CurrentHair6381@reddit

Nurse here, if your sugar gets low during bowel prep just eat a glucose tab, it wont mess up the prep

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Barbiedawl83@reddit

Some of the tabs are red might want to check labels for dye

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CSWorldChamp@reddit

It was a giant fuckin’ deal. I mean, the procedure is nothing, yes. The three days of hunger, misery, and deliberately giving yourself diarrhea and painful hemorrhoids was a giant fuckin’ deal.

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defective_toaster@reddit

Depending on what type of prep you have to do, it can be a nightmare. The prep is the worst part of the whole experience.

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Turbojelly@reddit

Prep is a pita but the procedure is fine.

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AetheriaInBeing@reddit

The prep for the colonoscopy is worse than the colonoscopy.

Shivering naked on a toilet at 3am afraid that if I walk the 10 feet back to my bedroom that I won't get back to the toilet in time was not fun. Not being sure if you should be hugging the toilet or sitting on it half the time isn't helpful either. Realizing I had to get up in 2 hours to go to the procedure was just icing on the cake.

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pug_fugly_moe@reddit

My whole ordeal was simply annoying. Changing my diet a few days out (turns out I do eat a decent amount of fiber) and fasting were annoying. Turns out that my hunger signals happen in cycles: morning, mid-afternoon, and just before going to sleep.

The Suprep tasted like a mild grape flavor of electrolytes I already drink for summer tennis, so it wasn’t disgusting. But that stuff is a velvet hammer. I was expecting Moctezuma’s Revenge, with the cramps, sweating, and generally wanting to die; instead it became don’t trust a fart.

Pro tip: start the prep at noon so you can get some sleep the night before.

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muthermcreedeux@reddit

It was so easy for me that I was pissed I took a day off of work for the prep. I eat a healthy diet to begin with, but I also did a strict no fat diet for a few days before beginning my prep. I had exactly 1 bowel movement, it was fairly normal,.and that was it. Besides being a bit hungry, I had zero issues and felt way over prepared with wipes and cream. I'm forever grateful that my doctor suggested the prep diet before the prep day because there just wasn't anything there to evacuate.

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Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit

I think people feel ashamed more often than not.

My dad always gets stressed out by medical procedures. I think he finds them invasive.

Me, I couldn't care less. I'm quite relaxed most of the time and medical stuff doesn't bother me, and that makes everything easier.

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SaveusJebus@reddit

Yeah. It's really not a big deal.

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TulsaOUfan@reddit

It was 1000% easier and less stressful than the dentist.

I eat healthy. The prep wasn't an issue for me at all, I was out cold for the procedure, and have no bad memories afterwards.

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lancelinksecretchimp@reddit

It wasn’t. On prep day, I got up early to go watch soccer, drank four beers, went home and did the prep and got a “see you in ten years” the next day.

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Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

Since I have good insurance now (and managed to blow out the family deductible a week ago) my wife hunted around for a doctor for me, and found a guy who looked in similar shape, which made it less awkward when he told me I needed to start using my CPAP, taking blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication (more specifically for my triglycerides) and congratulations on being a type 2 diabetic (both my biological parents and 3/4 of my biological grandparents are/were too). And prescription strength Omeprazole as well. Last week he added a water pill and doubled my beta blocker to twice a day. Rolling pharmacies R Us

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Organic_Popcorn@reddit

My doc wants to put me on statin, i told her lets do blood work again few months later to see my LDL gets better 😬

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Squirrel_Master82@reddit

Do statins have bad side effects or you don't want to have to take shit?

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trustme1maDR@reddit

Everyone is different. I haven't had any, but I forgot to take it for a day or 2 and had muscle aches. Went back on and I was just fine

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Organic_Popcorn@reddit

When Doc told me that once I start the med, I can't stop, it made me think twice. I'm just in complete denial... But like I told my doc, I'm trying to lower it with a good diet and see if I can lower it, otherwise I have to start taking it.

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trustme1maDR@reddit

I did that too. Perfect diet. My cardiologist was like, awesome job! It still not low enough! I got the statin.

It's genetic, and you genuinely can only control it souch.

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Organic_Popcorn@reddit

Yeah. I always thank my mom and ancestors for this. 😑

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New_Stats@reddit

Regularly drinking hibiscus tea is proven to lower LDL as is regularly consuming psyllium husks (metamucil)

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Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

That will only get you so far. My husband delayed going on statins for years with a little of this and a little of that, but at a certain age, it's not enough. When he finally accepted the statin, it lowered his bad cholesterol almost overnight, and he can eat cheese again.

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New_Stats@reddit

Oh I'm not suggesting to stay off of medication, just that if your goal is to lower your LDL, those things can help.

Food and diet is not a replacement for medication, but it can help keep you off medication for longer

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Mudcreek47@reddit

I feel we're at the age where all the news is bad.

Overweight/borderline obese, borderline HBP, elevated liver enzymes, too much drinking, bad cholesterol too high, eat more fiber.

Ugh.

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astronomie_domine@reddit

My sister died of colon cancer last year. Please get your colonoscopy done as soon as you are eligible.

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RoyalPuzzleheaded259@reddit

I had a terrible experience with my first colonoscopy. I had the appointment with the nurse beforehand to explain the prep and the procedure and all that noise. I told her (even though it’s documented on my medical record that she had right in front of her) that I have anxiety and panic attacks from medical stuff and that I’d need some kind of anxiety meds before arriving for the appointment. She told me I can’t take anything before the procedure. Then she changed the sound of her voice to that voice you use when talking to small children or mental feeble elderly folks and she said “our people are weally good at their jobs and we use itty wittle needles”. I completely jumped her shit and told her that’s not how anxiety works and as a nurse she should fucking know better. I had a panic attack right there talking to her and canceled the appointment. Nobody has ever bothered to follow up since that appointment. I am fully convinced people in healthcare don’t give a shit about the customers (not patients) beyond being a revenue stream.

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cventers80@reddit

Don't forget Cologuard is an option worth asking about! If you're okay pooping in a box and taking it to UPS 😂

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6ory299e8@reddit

if you thought the visit before your colonoscopy was rough on your dignity...

Anyway good luck. take the prep serious, you don't wanna hafta do a redo.

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blackhawksq@reddit

My midlife crisis has been getting my health on track. Triggered largely by losing my mom to colon cancer. I've had two colonoscopies. I see the doctor quarterly now for reasons.

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RecalledBurger@reddit

The colonoscopy list backed up. No pun intended. I won't see a specialist until July. I've had it scheduled since February, or whenever James Van Der Beek died of colon cancer. I'm 43 and with a long family history of cancer, you'd think I'd be higher on the list.

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Coolbreeze1989@reddit

Are you in US? There are ways to self-order. My 30yo daughter got it done through radiologyassist. I think it was $1500 and she had it done within a few weeks of scheduling.

Insurance wouldn’t pay because of her age, but with the increasing prevalence and some health-anxiety because of friend diagnosed at 32, she opted to pay thru that site. Got the all clear and mentally much better.

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vulchiegoodness@reddit

theres always cologuard to do at home

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percephony@reddit

I'm glad she was able to self pay but also who has a free $1,500? ¿in esta economía?

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_______luke@reddit

I was not under anesthesia for mine. They gave me some stuff to make me relaxed, but I was awake. And also very uncomfortable. I’d elect to go under next time.

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Sapiophile23@reddit

My 46f friend is on round 4 of chemo for colorectal cancer. Stage 2. I know I need to get screened but I'm more worried than before and don't wanna 😕

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TulsaOUfan@reddit

You can either get checked and likely avoid what your friend is going through, or roll the dice and likely end up like your friend.

Like most things in life, it's fairly mundane for the general population. Go get a colonoscopy.

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Bub697@reddit

You have a 1 in a 1000 chance of dying from complications from a colonoscopy, and a 1 in 25 lifetime chance of being diagnosed with colon cancer. If you’re going to roll a 25 sided dice anyway, you should at least look at what you rolled.

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goat_penis_souffle@reddit

I agree it’s important if you need it, but unless you’ve got an elevated risk, op isn’t more likely than anybody else to have the disease if they choose to delay or skip the procedure altogether.

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cahrens414@reddit

Please do it. I hope your friend pulls through

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PopsiclesForChickens@reddit

As a survivor of colorectal cancer, please don't call it a** cancer.

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Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit

I think it just depends on your sense of humor. I've absolutely heard survivors cacalll their own cancers all kinds of things. Titty cancer, nut cancer, butt cancer, you name it.

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PopsiclesForChickens@reddit

Sorry if I don't have a sense of humor about the worst time in my life.

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percephony@reddit

You don't have to have a sense of humor about the worst time in your life, but also you don't get to tell people how to handle their own stress

hope that helps ♡

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PopsiclesForChickens@reddit

If they haven't had the cancer, it's not their stress.

Hope that helps.

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percephony@reddit

For me, making fun of it makes it less embarrassing and more acceptable to share and talk about. So again, you don't have to find it funny, it's not for you.

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ChiefBroady@reddit

Bruh. Same. Mine is scheduled for tomorrow to. Just started prep about an hour ago.

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R0botDreamz@reddit

They can put a man on the moon but they still cant detect ass cancer unless they out a camera up your butt (and around the corner).

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Thatoneguyfrom1980@reddit (OP)

Make three lefts and there’s a boner

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NoContextCarl@reddit

Bro, I have to shit in a box and my cholesterol is still high. Getting older sucks.

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PopsiclesForChickens@reddit

You really should consider the colonoscopy. The box method finds cancer, the colonoscopy finds pre cancerous polyps.

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New_Stats@reddit

Idk what crazy wellness influencers you listened to but shitting in a box will not lower cholesterol

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arcxjo@reddit

Even if you tape an onion to the bottom of the box?

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Zagmut@reddit

I'm sorry, you have to shit where?

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NoContextCarl@reddit

Its a box. I shit in it and mail it to Wisconsin after.

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Zagmut@reddit

Oh! I used to do that to my HOA president. Not a Packers fan, I presume?

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Verbull710@reddit

Drug dealer pushing pills, welcome to hellth

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Suspicious_Size4030@reddit

Yeah im 47, had physical last week. Colonoscopy is next month and i have 90 days to improve cholesterol numbers or I'll likely have to take meds. Gotta make some adjustments for sure.

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Mission_Sir_4494@reddit

Indignity is aging WITHOUT proper medical care

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Fluffy_Success_6110@reddit

I seem to get mixed responses from people here Australia around colonoscopies for instance my brother is required to get them annually. Yeah my doctor says I don’t need to bother until I show serious evidence of requirement for one year in America. You guys seem to just have them all the time. 🤷‍♂️

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goat_penis_souffle@reddit

It’s a bizarre fixation, to be sure. Personally, I think Americans go gaga for it as it gives some feeling of control over something that people have no real control over.

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mottledmussel@reddit

It's more of a weird rite of passage from young adult to middle age. Most people get their first one at 45 and then once a decade after.

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Number1Framer@reddit

You guys seem to just have them all the time.

I chalk it up to cultural difference. It's more of a recreational hobby we do for funsies whenever we can afford it which isn't often. Gotta get your thrills somehow. /s

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Fluffy_Success_6110@reddit

Now I’m jealous hahah it least it’s mostly free for us ‘!

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lankyleper@reddit

I didn't have to pay anything for mine. Even shitty American insurance companies will gladly pay for a preventative colonoscopy over the cost of colon cancer.

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Upstairs_Nature9234@reddit

Good reminder. I need to schedule my colonoscopy.

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arcxjo@reddit

You should ask if you can do cologuard first.

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No_Personality421@reddit

Colonoscopy giver here - Glad you’re getting it done. I see too many people our age coming in when its too late. Only 15% or so make it to 5 years when it is Stage IV colorectal cancer at diagnosis.

Ass Cancer however, more commonly comes from HPV as does Cervical and Oropharyngeal. Still its not something to neglect either for those who have had cervical cancer or precancerous changes. Definitely dont ignore butthole symptoms in that case either.

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pug_fugly_moe@reddit

Oh that might explain my mom’s situation. She had cervical cancer (and a hysterectomy) about 25 years before colon cancer. The cancer itself didn’t take her out; she survived that. My sister suspects it was a pulmonary embolism related to edema that she didn’t ever address no matter how much my sister argued with her. (Sister is a surgical PA, at the time working with a colorectal surgeon.)

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Yrch1@reddit

I legit take 0 medications except a handful of ibuprofen 2x a day.

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Thatoneguyfrom1980@reddit (OP)

My dad took a ton of nsaids for his ankle for years. He’s now in stage 3 kidney failure at 75. Be careful with that please

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smokythejoker@reddit

FFS! Aging is nothing to be ashamed of. Let’s add getting older to the list of things we do better than our parents. Now take your rectal exam like a GD grown up!