What is some of weirdest/ gross things a guest has done at your house?
Posted by Equivalent_Half883@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 441 comments
I saw this on Facebook and the responses were interesting. For me someone left nail clippings in the bathroom
Bustakrimes91@reddit
Left a used tampon behind the toilet cistern (well more behind the cistern and the toilet bowl) for literally no reason at all.
I have a bin she could have used and it’s only me and my kids that live here so not like there was a man she would be worried could have seen it.
It totally baffles me to this day. The worst part is that there was a foul smell in the bathroom for days and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from even after cleaning everything multiple times.
I eventually saw some flies between the wall and the cistern and found it. There’s maybe an inch gap right down the back that it was squeezed into. First time anything period related has made me sick and I have a very strong stomach!!
Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit
There’s a really bizarre mindset in some people about sanitary items. I can understand carelessless- well, actually I can’t because I have OCD - the real kind, not the one people say they have when they like to tidy) but can see how it happens if someone doesn’t care enough to pay attention/ check for mess- but I’ve heard of people leaving used sanitary towels stuck to the wall (and a comment above, someone’s guest did it to a bin). In an older post someone said they confronted their guest and she looked embarrassed and said that is what she had been taught to do at home. It’s just mindblowing.
Not sure if your tampon hider falls into that category or if she had a strange embarrassment about it being found in the bin?
87catmama@reddit
Completely off topic, how do you feel when someone says 'ooh I like my cups lined up in a certain way, I'm so OCD!'? Because I always feel that would be terribly insulting to someone who actually has OCD.
Optimal_Olive5398@reddit
as someone with ocd it makes me want to smash the cups on their head
Alarming_Matter@reddit
I have a son with clinical OCD. It's ruining his life. The next time I hear "Ooh I have to have the shoes lined up in the hallway or it triggers my OCD ha ha lol 🤣🤣" I will not be held accountable for my actions. No you lackwit...you like to be tidy. Come back to me when your hands are bleeding from washing them 3-4 hours a day (or you genuinely think you'll die), then we can talk about OCD.
Bustakrimes91@reddit
I was formally diagnosed with OCD 20 years ago. I’m not the person you asked, but I thought I’d weigh in here since it’s in reply to my post, I hope you don’t mind.
I find it incredibly frustrating but I know people don’t say it maliciously. It’s difficult sometimes to not take it personally because OCD has had a hugely negative impact on my life. Even after years of therapy, counselling and all sorts of self help and working on myself I still struggle every day.
People don’t realise how much it affects people (some people are obviously affected more than others but as someone who has been hospitalised due to it I can only see it from my perspective) because they aren’t aware of what it actually entrails. I wish people wouldn’t say it or make jokes about it at all and would happily never see those kinds of jokes ever again but I know that’s not realistic so I try to just remind myself they don’t mean any harm and just think about how lucky they are that they don’t.
I do appreciate that more people are willing to speak up about it though and explain how it’s hurtful to those that do suffer. I think it’s really nice that those people are willing to stand up for those who may not want to put their medical info or aren’t able to speak up themselves.
Again, I know you didn’t ask me directly but I wanted to respond incase the other poster didn’t. Even if they do it’s a different POV so I hope you don’t mind!
87catmama@reddit
Thank you for your answer! It's very interesting to read, and I'm so sorry you've been hospitalised due to it. I think people just don't actually understand what OCD is. Haha it's just funny that people like things a certain way. Not understanding that it can be absolutely debilitating.
Bustakrimes91@reddit
She doesn’t have any mental health issues and I would 100% know if she did.
When I asked her why she did it she said she was in a rush which didn’t make her decision to do this any clearer but I knew she was super embarrassed so I didn’t want to push.
I actually have diagnosed OCD as well so I’m sure you can imagine how stressful the entire situation was as I ruminated over the smell and then once I discovered where the smell came from I ruminated over the odd situation as a whole.
I do think it was just because she genuinely didn’t care, it’s not her house and she couldn’t be bothered to look for the bin and it was just the easiest thing for her at the time to just shove it down there. I hate to think what she does everywhere else, all those toilets with used tampons behind them or other odd places.
affogatohoe@reddit
If she didn't want it found then surely flushing it has got to be a better option? Obviously that shouldn't be done but wouldn't that be your first thought before stashing it somewhere weird
Bustakrimes91@reddit
I completely agree with you! I even said to her afterwards that I would’ve preferred she flushed it if it was that much of a big deal that someone saw it. I don’t flush anything that I shouldn’t so it probably would have been fine (not for the water cleansing centre though!) but better than me having flies in my house and the awful stench.
But she just acted like it wasn’t a big deal, she wasn’t thinking and it was the first thing she thought of and wasn’t bothered about the impact of it. It was just the easiest thing to do in her head at that time.
She’s great in a lot of ways but she did a lot of other self centred things when staying with me that I just don’t let her say anymore. It verges from forgetful due to stress and circumstance’s and just careless and thoughtless with my things.
LAcasper@reddit
I was at a house party where everyone including me was hammered.
Minding my own business having a wee and a random girl bursts in, sees me sat on the toilet so yanks her pants down and hops onto the sink for a piss.
The sink ripped completely away from the wall. She pissed on top of the wreckage, pulled her pants up and left the room, leaving the door wide open with me still on the loo and water and piss going everywhere.
Luckily not my house. 30 drunk people looking for a stopcock was fun, though.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
I had a older family member leave small nuggets of shite on the side of the bathtub after they'd used it. Kid's were like "Mum, what's that?".
We've now made it into a punk song called Nanny's Nugs.
LAcasper@reddit
Was she in the bath and just shat it or did she make a special effort to shit the bath?
Unlikely_Egg@reddit
My father in law left a huge blob of shit on the basin tap. No idea how.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
I imagine his fingers went through the paper and he ended up with shitty digits
neilm1000@reddit
I want to know what happened here. And, simultaneously, I do not want to know what happened.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
What can I tell you? She was constipated and loose at the same time
ratscabs@reddit
But… but… why on the side of the bath?
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Convenience? Inventing a new form of subbuteo? We'll never know
TroublesomeFox@reddit
Have you never asked?? First words out of my mouth would have been "what the fuck?" Followed by "WHY?"
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Those words did leave my mouth after she'd left. They often roll around in my head still when I reminisce on the scene of the pebbles in a neat little row, like ducklings in the world's worst acid trip.
UglyFilthyDog@reddit
Wait wait, so she like picked out her little floaters from the bathwater and arranged them on the edge? Because I'm trying to figure out how you could accidentally crap on the edge of the bath...
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Yep. Like pretty maids all in a row
TroublesomeFox@reddit
Honestly why have you never asked? That would have been the first thing I did 😭
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
It was my mother. Yes, I could've asked which would've resulted in a round robin of total denial and non-sequiturs so mind-numbing you'd want to chew your own arm off. Years of experience have taught me to let it lie, find the funny, and then post about it on Reddit so others can witness the chaos.
ratscabs@reddit
Totally get that. (I also have an elderly mother, and even though she doesn’t play poo subuteo, it’s not that big a stretch to imagine it)
Tabby_Mc@reddit
Sub-poo-teo, if you will...
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
There may be a local league opening; check the community newsletter.
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
I think we’re related on the maternal side 🤣
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
We're Irish Catholic so it's more than likely
GreenCup3426@reddit
*Subpooteo
geesegoesgoose@reddit
I nearly fucking choked on my dinner I snorted so hard!
neilm1000@reddit
This made me laugh a lot more than it should have.
johnathome@reddit
She was tap dancing and had an accident
neilm1000@reddit
This happened to me once. Upset tummy but full of codeine. Was...disturbing.
ACanWontAttitude@reddit
Same. I had food poisoning but had a weeks worth of stool blocking anything from coming out. It was worse than giving birth because I was vomming, cramping, nothing could come out. It was one of them where you are sweating so strip off and sit on the loo as naked as you were born. The hard stool came out after hours of 'contractions' and ripped me a new asshole so the following fire from the food poisoning was like acid on my poor behind.
I barely left the loo for 12 hours. Never again.
It was worse coz I had to leave work early and get a taxi home. I'm a nurse. I was panting and groaning completely uncontrollably in the back of this uber and the poor driver goes 'should I turn around love?'
SelectTrash@reddit
I had this after being discharged from the chest/heart or the cancer ward I can't remember but it was so painful, so I kept going in the ward but nothing and doctors kept coming to look for me.
sick_bitch_87@reddit
I have ibs-m. I can go from constipated to explosive diarrhea or explosive diarrhea to constipated in one toilet session. Its the worst.
Big_Tradition8082@reddit
Literally had to do a strip down poop just the other day,we've recently moved house and we are now the proud owners of one those square toilets,my eyes liked the look of it,my butt on the on the other hand decided nuhuh. I'd been so constipated and cramping so hard,also during the move my faithful "poop stool" had been chucked away so I had nothing to brace myself with either, absolute hell
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
I was pregnant with my third and hadn't shit for 10 days. I thought "fuck this" and chugged on a bottle of Lactulose. What followed was 5 hours of violent shitting and contractions like you said - without the reward of an actual baby. Roy Castle would've been proud because it sure was a record-breaking session.
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
I bet your toot chute was playing a pretty tune!
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Have you heard much Monogolian throat singing?
Embarrassed_Emu7973@reddit
omg stop, I have a similar story, only I was 2 weeks post partum, my daughter was in the children’s ward having a benign cyst looked at and I was in a&e waiting room literally shitting myself
Jurassicjen_uk@reddit
This brings me great joy. My own Nannie, recently dearly departed, once left a bunch of her nugs on the side in the kitchen. She had also had explosive follow through trots. She was adamant the nugs were chunks of braising steak meat, despite the fact we did all her food shopping as she was housebound, and she hadn’t eaten steak casserole for years. She never did accept what it really was, genuinely didn’t believe it. Mad what getting old can do to you. Granted a few months later she was convinced a family of hamsters were living in her carpet.I will create my own version of your song in her honour.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Tell me you weren't there for Sunday dinner.
kipha01@reddit
I want to know how this song goes, I need to hear it!
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
The chorus goes
Nanny's nugs Nanny's nugs Nanny's nugs OI OI OI OI
kipha01@reddit
How about the rest of it?
GratisLM@reddit
That's on the side of the bathtub.
Rob_Haggis@reddit
Lots of stuff about fighting the police state and spreading anarchy.
Englands_Finest85@reddit
I’m here for the song too
DisMyLik18thAccount@reddit
One time my uncle (We all lived in the same house) apparently found a little piece of poop on the bathroom floor
What I find weird was he can in and announced it to all of us, and him and my mum speculated that it might belong to the young girl being babysat with us
I Just don't see why that was something he needed to share, or why they needed to discuss who did it. Just flush it?
Eddie_F_17@reddit
Did you confront the person? Should have taken a photo and sent it to them with a question mark…
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Wouldn't dream of it. It was equal parts perplexing and hilarious but there was no need to cause a fuss.
Throwaway6765656@reddit
Not at my house (so perhaps not relevant) but I once went to someone else’s house and halfway through eating dinner proceeded to plonk their baby down on the dinner table and change a shitty nappy.
Cumulus-Crafts@reddit
I worked in a cafe, this was commonplace, even though we had a changing table in the bathroom. Gross.
NoApartment7399@reddit
Oh I hate this. I've had multiple guests change their babies poo bums on either my nice sofas or my carpets. I would never, and I have 3 kids. I always keep a room with a bed empty and neat for any guests to see to their babies whether they need a change or need somewhere quiet to sleep. The number of times I've been mid sentence and people start faffing to change the baby right where we're sitting......
AdThat328@reddit
I've had people do it on the sofa or floor, but always put something down first, like a changing mat...
NoApartment7399@reddit
They do, but we're usually having a drink or dessert and chatting and then we all get the poo smell. If the room was empty I would think much less of it
ACanWontAttitude@reddit
I love the image of you having a whole room 'kept' for people to change their babies 🤣
Must be nice
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
It’s probably next door to the present wrapping room, across from the pick and mix station.
NoApartment7399@reddit
It's my older childs room with his toys packed up while guests are over 😂😂 his bed usually features various sonic teddies and a mound of cushions
Throwaway6765656@reddit
I find it utterly bizarre. It may be a baby but it’s still a literal biohazard and just gross to do in full view of everyone when there’s an alternative.
Although your comment just unlocked another memory of a boyfriend I had when I was younger whose mum used to have a family member and her baby over once a week when he wasn’t there. Family member used to use boyfriends room to change baby which would’ve been fine except she’d just leave the unbagged unwrapped dirty nappies in a pile on his bedroom floor. Not as a one-off forgetfulness either, this was every single time so just an expectation that someone else would deal with it. We’d come back from a day out to the fright of a turd in the middle of the room on a regular basis.
NoApartment7399@reddit
That is terrible. Thankfully usually guests bag them or ask for the bin, but I did have a guest stay over one night and leave a dirty nappy in the bathroom bin which wasnt very airtight. I got the smell when I went in to clean the next day.... it wasnt bagged. A whole different issue is people leaving their mobile toddlers who eat proper food with the most vile smelling full nappies to toddle around your house and they ignore it!! We can all smell them
Throwaway6765656@reddit
Oh god yeah. Also experienced people who will bring the potty into the living room when they’ve got guests over and we’re all expected to just continue small talk whilst their kid curls one out in the corner. I get that parents are desensitised to their own kids bodily functions but fucking hell, surely on a human level you can understand that not everyone else is.
NoApartment7399@reddit
Nooo that's insane
Pleasant-Strike7467@reddit
One of my mates shit himself pretty severely while commuting the work once. My house was pretty close, so after a panicked phone call I let him come over and use my shower, and borrow a spare change of clothes.
Pretty gross but he cleaned up the shower after himself and I'd do it again for a friend in a time of need.
hulyepicsa@reddit
I swear I would be flattered they are comfortable enough with me to call in that time of need haha
chaoticchemicals@reddit
This!! I currently have a massive abscess on my nether regions due the chemo related hair loss. I arranged for a mate to come and squeeze tomorrow when it inevitably bursts!! It's so inaccessible, especially when you've got a dody shoulder you can't twist. She jumped at chance to squeeze it 🤣🤣 It's so fucking painful I've been in bed since Friday evening. I literally cannot sit on my arse 🤣
chuckle_puss@reddit
That’s a good friend… that lets you pop their pimples. My husband is the only one that’ll let me pick at him like a monkey 🐒
chaoticchemicals@reddit
Pimple !! It's orange size
V65Pilot@reddit
My ex loved to peel my dead skin from my minor sunburns
Tabby_Mc@reddit
Same 🤣
lalajia@reddit
if she videos that, you guys could make a fortune ;)
I_really_love_pugs@reddit
This was my take away from this story, also! I would be so touched to be there person people call if they shit themselves!
Morganx27@reddit
Only touched after they'd showered, though
RoohsMama@reddit
You’re a friend indeed! Crapping oneself is the worst thing ever. Happened to me recently whilst on a trip - had crippling gastroenteritis - took the taxi home - rest is history
KitFan2020@reddit
How did the taxi ride home go? 🫣
RoohsMama@reddit
You don’t wanna know 😂 just saying, I tipped the driver fairly generously
KitFan2020@reddit
Whoever they are, they have a very kind heart ❤️ (or a very poor sense of smell! ) 🤣
KEW95@reddit
Bless him, took courage to ask. You’re awesome for helping him out, poor guy. Glad he cleaned up properly.
AussieManc@reddit
The remarkable thing here for me is that he’d ask anyone for help in this situation
KEW95@reddit
It took courage, bless him.
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
You’re a great friend to have.
RoutineCloud5993@reddit
I mean, that is the absolute least he could do for that solid from you
EpochRaine@reddit
It may not have been solid given the circumstances...
lamaldo78@reddit
He did him a ~~solid~~ liquid
Flamingpieinthesky@reddit
Sublimation even!
chemical-realm@reddit
A solid from you, a liquid from your mate 🤣
YchYFi@reddit
You are truly great friend. I would be too embarrassed to ask.
never_ending_circles@reddit
When some relatives were visiting, I found hairs in my razor that definitely weren't mine. I could've supplied a disposable razor if they'd asked.
SelectTrash@reddit
I'm only saying it because it's part of the story, but I'm ginger and use Veet spray more but also have a razor for the hard bits. My stepdaughter was at mine at the weekend and when I went to shave my legs, I noticed they weren't my hairs and told her off.
She asked how I knew as my hair is auburn, so quite dark and I shouted because mine are ginger that's how I know.
never_ending_circles@reddit
To be fair, I'd rather they left hairs so I know they used it. It's so unhygienic. When I noticed I replaced the blade and then put the razor in my bedroom until they'd gone home.
Icy_Knowledge5004@reddit
My mother in law did this to me. I was livid 😭
mangofishsays@reddit
Got extremely drunk, upset a bunch of my friends then pissed in the bed in my spare room then just left without saying anything and I never spoke to him again. Sean I know it was you, asshole.
Mumlife8628@reddit
Ooooooh forgot one that's a on going argument my partner comes over makes a drink of water then put the cup straight on the draining board upside down without cleaning it 😭😭 please stop
CalicoDesertOasis@reddit
I had a guest smoke in my spare room. I asked her to stop and she agreed. She went out and bought air freshener and then just smoked and sprayed air freshener. I confronted her about it and she said she was no longer smoking in there but she just clearly was! Drove me crazy!
it__wasnt__me__@reddit
Wiped their arse with a towel when there was ample toilet roll available, 3 ply even
Mumlife8628@reddit
My partner lived in a shared house n a house mate did that 😪
Mumlife8628@reddit
Had a drunk family member piss up my radiator on new years eve 2 years ago
fozzie1984@reddit
guy I was in the navy with stayed at my house one night , did a shit so big it clogged the toilet , picked it out the toilet and threw it out the window , landed on the windscreen of his own car he parked in the driveway
CorpusCalossum@reddit
Hocus pocus, there's a turd on your Focus.
Mumlife8628@reddit
I read this out cry laughing 🤣🤣 i want to screen grab it and keep it forever
hint8@reddit
Excellent
ButterscotchSure6589@reddit
Spookily, I knew a bloke in the navy who's claim to fame was the size of his, em, droppings. Occasionally he would round people up to admire a particularly impressive specimen. We would stand politely admiring it like a new born.
According_Sundae_917@reddit
Curious how you came to discover this, did he explain it himself or did you witness?
Beautiful-Ad-2242@reddit
He’s making it up while ripping off a real story about a girl who did a similar thing
neilm1000@reddit
The one who had to retrieve it from the loo and then put it in a wheelie bin?
fozzie1984@reddit
yep because remember things only happen once and then never again
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
lottesometimes@reddit
Came to visit with Noro virus but didn't tell me, was sick all around my new home and instead of cleaning it, hid it with (new) blankets and towels. Having my new home disrespected and furnishings destroyed and being lied about was bad enough, I also got ill because of it. She couldn't understand why I would not want anything to do with her after that.
Middle--Earth@reddit
I kept having problems with the skin on my face.
From time to time it would randomly flare up itchy and flaky, with tight red angry patches. I was in a customer facing job at the time, so it was awful.
I couldn't understand what was causing it. I was constantly changing skin products, soaps, shampoo, diet, to try and find the trigger. I went to the doctor repeatedly and tried umpteen different medications and creams, and none of them worked.
The impulse to scratch my face was awful, and I was in misery for the best part of three years
One day I walked into the bathroom to find my then husband was using my skin exfoliating glove to clean the sink. The glove that I used on my face. Using typical bathroom cleaning products..
He just laughed and thought that it was funny. No apology, nothing. Just said that he saw it in the bathroom and assumed that it was for cleaning the bathroom, as if a glove was really the best thing to use to clean a sink!
I was pretty sure that he had seen me using it before on my face, although he claimed innocence.
We had a big row.
This was at a point in time when we were allegedly happily married, so I didn't understand his behaviour.
It felt like an intentional passive aggressive thing, like a deliberate nasty thing. Maybe he was jealous of my success at work and wanted to bring me down a bit, I don't know.
My viewpoint of him shifted completely as I realised that he knew exactly why I had suffered so badly with my skin, and yet he had said nothing.
For the next few years, until we finally split up and divorced, every so often I would take his toothbrush and use it on the toilet 🚽
Particularly if I knew that he was planning a night out or would be attending a works posh dinner (where partners were allegedly not invited, because not once did he take me to a work event).
His random and rather violent bouts of 'gastric flu' were truly horrible yet deeply satisfying to behold, and naturally I offered my full sympathy as I handed over the diarrhea tablets.
Jim, if you're reading this, then I want you to know that you deserved every fart and cramp, and I regret nothing.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Amazing work! Fuck you Jim!
Brighton_Spores@reddit
Yeah, fuck you Jim!
lexx-ray@reddit
My sister had a sleepover when we were about 13/14. One of her friends went through the fridge and found every block of cheese (we had several). And bit massive chunks off them. Still in the wrapping mind, so we were left with loads of bite marked chunks of cheese inside the package. Super weird.
seekingoutpeace@reddit
When I was in my early 20s I was a party girl and some random girl came back to mine as a plus one to a mate for a little after party. At somepoint I went to get ready for bed and people started getting ready to leave (we were all VERY drunk). Me and boyfriend at the time went to bed after locking up but we didn't check the livingroom before we did.
Woke up the next morning horrifically hungover and the livingroom smelt awful. Not just stale smoke and spilled drink awful but sewage awful. Then we noticed some smears on the brown sofa (which was brand new) and the worst of the smell was behind one part of it. My partner found a pair of shitty knickers. She had shat herself, somehow taken off her underwear without anyone seeing/saying anything and then sat back down on the sofa.
Absolute the scummist thing i have ever encountered. I fell out with the mate she came with because they wouldn't give me her number to get the money for a professional clean. I did find her on Facebook and sent her a message but surprise surprise never heard back.
There was also only maybe 5 or 6 of us in total there so it wasn't like she would have had to wait long for the bathroom.
neilm1000@reddit
Just out of interest, how did you know it was her?
seekingoutpeace@reddit
She was wearing a very shirt skirt and we had been dancing on tables before, the underwear matched.
neilm1000@reddit
Gosh that somehow makes it even grimmer.
seekingoutpeace@reddit
😂😂😂
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
Drugs do crazy things
seekingoutpeace@reddit
Drugs and mental illness
FullAcanthisitta3489@reddit
At least the sofa was brown
Perfect_Consequence9@reddit
Ahh! That's awful.
GeggingIn@reddit
Used my lovely bath puff and got it tangled with lots of pubes.
kettlejuices@reddit
wolfy?!
Aggressive-Artist-63@reddit
What’s the difference between a wolfy and a normal pube?
dogtrousers@reddit
They only come out in the full moon.
GeggingIn@reddit
The glisten of silver as the morning sun danced off them.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Eee
SaltyName8341@reddit
Sorry but they were probably arse hairs
GeggingIn@reddit
Oh. I know.
breaded_skateboard@reddit
Pissed all over the floor next to the toilet (apparently he does the same at other people's houses) and according to his ex he should definitely sit down to pee due to its tiny proportions
Mglfll@reddit
Even if you’re at home or away, wipe your miss piss and flush it away
sauce___x@reddit
Don’t get why people don’t just sit down. It’s so much easier
ButterscotchSure6589@reddit
You'd get funny looks from the bloke at the next urinal.
Zaruz@reddit
Standing is just more convenient. Until you get that random split stream that is impossible to account for, then are left wiping up piss wondering why you didn't just sit.
sauce___x@reddit
Unless you’re in a public toilet I always sit. It’s infinitely nicer
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
I hate the random split stream.
ForwardImagination71@reddit
Because it emasculates them.
breaded_skateboard@reddit
Much easier to Point, Shoot & Shake.
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
With his angry inch even more appropriate!
neilm1000@reddit
Miss piss is a great term.
Mglfll@reddit
This was crated by my 9yr old son when my wife asked who’d wee’d on the floor, and he let loose he overhears all our language “it was my missed piss mum, sorry”. Terms stuck now in this house 🤣
Opening_Nose_2347@reddit
Middle of the night, gets up from made up bed in living room, puts all condiments I had in a frying pan and puts them on the gas, gets a pack of dried spaghetti and throws it all over the kitchen, gets back in the made up bed leaving the condiments on the gas and goes back to sleep. Fire alarms go off and the whole flat is black with smoke, he hasn't woken, so I turn off gas, open windows and kick him. Tell him to F-off and never to return, he says "Sorry man".
notalapcataboobcat@reddit
Not at home but in my work office kitchen ....
Menopausal lady having a hot flush used the tea towel to mop her sweaty forehead and neck and then proceeded to use the same tea towel to wipe down a freshly washed teaspoon before using said teaspoon to make tea for everyone attending a big meeting
I never accepted a cup of tea from her ( or anyone else) again and always used the paper towels to dry up in the kitchen
PutAutomatic2581@reddit
They took a shit on our wicker chair. Our son's never been the same since.
Usual_Neck_4205@reddit
A friends GF went for a shit while drunk, somehow completely missed the toilet and then made the worst clean up attempt ive ever seen. Smeared shit all over my white bathroom. Luckily for her it was a house party with a few other girls present who all took pity on her (and me) and cleaned up my bathroom.
bartread@reddit
Wasn't there a news story a year or two back about a girl who did a similar thing after a date? Did a massive dump on target in the toilet, but it was too huge and wouldn't flush, so she grabbed the offending log in her hands and attempted to throw it out the window. Unfortunately the window had an inner pane and an outer pane a few inches apart and the giant turd ended up falling down the gap between them.
I'm sure that was a thing. I'm sure I haven't hallucinated it.
I seem to remember she might even have tried to climb out of the window, but I can't remember if that was a vain attempt to retrieve the poo, or she was simply trying to escape the shame.
clickyclicky456@reddit
Yes that was a real news story in 2017. She got stuck in the window trying to rescue the poo and the fire brigade had to come out. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296
dong_destroyer69420@reddit
The Pigin English version of this story is even better. link
Funny-Force-3658@reddit
Always, Always, always come back to this one.... gets me in tears every time. 😭
dong_destroyer69420@reddit
A fella in an old post here had it linked and it's forever going to live in my skid marks I meant bookmarks when I need a laugh.
bartread@reddit
"A year or two back"... 2017... Fuck, I hate getting older.
I wonder if they ever did go on that follow-up date? And, if they did, are they still together?
Evening-Web-3038@reddit
tulip-0hare claimed to be the person. Seems like that person got married a few years ago, but unlikely to have been to Liam given the wording of 2018 news articles lol (saying they are friends on FB and love didn't blossom etc).
neilm1000@reddit
There were follow up articles a year later?!
DebaucheV5@reddit
Imagine clogging the toilet on a date; the one thing you can cling to is "at least it can't possibly get any worse"
ForwardImagination71@reddit
Apart from if you then reach for the loo roll and there isn't any...
Usual_Neck_4205@reddit
Thats glorious looll
nevynxxx@reddit
Sounds like the plot to Bridget Jones X
Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit
Poor lady😂 It’s a shame that he didn’t sound too keen, otherwise that would be a hilarious wedding story
RoohsMama@reddit
Just read the article. What a nightmare. Stuck head down in a window trying to retrieve a poo and smelling it all the while… thank goodness I’m out of the dating pool
Callum_Cries@reddit
This did in fact happen, as far as I'm aware she then got stuck trying to climb out the window and the fire brigade had to be called. The based an episode of the show 911 on it, absolutely halarious but I feel bad for the poor woman.
bartread@reddit
They published a photo of her trapped in the window on the BBC website. It's frosted glass so you wouldn't be able to recognise her but you can make out just enough of the expression on her face to tell that she's not enjoying herself.
emjayem22@reddit
Yeah, I remember this.. I think she did get stuck trying to climb out of the window to move the poo to a more hidden location?!?
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
Give it an honourable burial.
Handofdoom222@reddit
I remember the date was at Nandos i think if that is at all relevant to the story lol
Wooden_Astronaut4668@reddit
One of my favourite news stories ever, in Bristol, still kills me every time I read it 💀
ACanWontAttitude@reddit
This one on Snopes kills me but im pretty sure it'll have happened to someone somewhere
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-bag-lady/
bartread@reddit
The one I was thinking of was this one, which did actually happen: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296
Gornal-Annie6133@reddit
Remember it well. You’re not hallucinating
DisMyLik18thAccount@reddit
I've Been drunk but I've never been this drunk
PerditaNicolette76@reddit
My youngest daughter was staying with her cousins. She would have been about 8 at the time. She had spent the day with her dad and his wife and daughter and her dad the worst cook had attempted chicken nuggets and chips for our kids rather than wait till his wife got back. My youngest was the only one who had nuggets. She went to spend the night with her cousins, one was exactly the same age as her, just a few months difference. Her aunt and uncles council house has a weird layout. Upstairs are two large bedrooms, a box room and a room containing a bath and sink no toilet! The toilet is downstairs in the hallway. My sister in law was pregnant with my youngest niece at the time. My daughter was sharing a bunk bed with her cousins who was the same age as her, and in the other bunk bed was my other niece who was the same age as my triplets. Around 5am my daughter decided she needed to vomit 🤢 the chicken nuggets were coming back. She jumped over her cousin, trying not to wake her. Dashed down the stairs, opened the toilet door, and projectile vomited into what she thought was the toilet, she wasn't concentrating, it was semi dark, and she was that far gone she couldn't have held it back. What she didn't realise was that exact moment my sister in law was kneeling on the floor, head over toilet with morning sickness which she never usually suffered from, she hadn't with her 3 eldest children. Que screams from my sister in law when she looked up and realised my daughter hadn't vomited in the toilet she had instead vomited all over my poor sister in laws head. My daughter immediately started crying because she was understanding upset that she had just covered my sister in law in her dad's poor attempt at cooking. My brother in law was up and on his way to work, took one look at the commotion and said nope sorry I can't 😞. By now all my daughter's cousin's were awake. The eldest girl being 10, grabbed towels, wet wipes and water. My daughter was fortunately vomit free on her clothing. My poor sister in law told the kids to close their eyes, she stripped off her nightie, shook as much of the vomit into the loo. She dashed upstairs took a quick shower until she was free from vomit. Got herself dressed and then went to tackle the toilet. My 10 year old niece bless her had mostly cleaned the toilet. My sister in law took everything vomited covered and went to a far corner in the garden and shook loose chunks. Then started the laundry. My daughter was absolutely fine after she disposed off the chicken nuggets meal. My sister in law however scarred for life. Between episodes of morning sickness that morning she cleaned so you wouldn't have known about the ectoplasmic episode some hours prior. My sister in law phoned me at 7am and explained in great detail what happened 😒. I offered to come get my daughter but she said nope that she was ok to stay as it was clearly her dad's cooking as my four that come home to me after their dad's custody afternoon were all fine. We worked out that my youngest was the only one who had eaten the nuggets, the rest knowing dad can't cook just had some chips.
cyberllama@reddit
I used to have mates round on Fridays when I was single and in my 20s, very drunken ones mostly. I was having a wee in the bathroom during one and happened to look up to see one of them watching me through the glass panel above the door.
Ryan203@reddit
Had a friend over from church, a group of 5 of us and I was cooking. As I walked back to the living room, one we’ll call Jim (not real name) had his ankle up on the chair he was sitting on, and clipping his nails with a clipper on his key ring.
He was wearing crocs with no socks so when they all took shoes off, fair that his toes here out…. Still, I said “oo, better grab them before the baby does”
As we have a 1 year old that likes to find every crumb on the carpet..
Still, odd choice to sit there clipping away.. 👀
PerditaNicolette76@reddit
My worst if you were to ask my children's dad was my waters breaking all over the sofa. Literally I felt a pop then a massive gush. I was expecting triplets and was 34+weeks along. I yelled at him to come in from the garden, back door was open and he was watching our 17 month daughter playing. The first words out of his mouth weren't lovely lol he instead shouted "Oh great you've pissed all over the sofa" in his head he saw this massive puddle of amniotic fluid and assumed i hadn't bothered to get up off the sofa and had just wet myself! Once his head clicked in that it was my waters he started panicking and phoning the necessary people like his brother and sister in law who were our stand by to have our daughter and take us to hospital. It was 7pm on a summer's Sunday evening. When I phoned L&D the midwife answering actually said "Oh Fuck" and accidentally dropped the phone. I waited patiently for her to recover and tell me to come in lol. They had to call in staff as they didn't have enough on for 3 NICU babies. I carried on losing lots of fluid so much that the security guard sitting outside L&D doors said "I can see we are expecting you" as he called for a cleaner to mop the trail of fluid. I was literally soaked through, even sanitary pads weren't helping lol.
PerditaNicolette76@reddit
My brother and his friend crashed on my sofas rather than drive 3 hours home. His friend pissed all over my sofa. I had been made discreetly aware by my brother that this might happen. So in the morning I just asked for overnight laundry from both so I could do any needed washing for them. They had packed an overnight bag on the off chance they might stay as they had wanted to go down the seafront the evening before. I just gave them a spare key to let themselves in. Whilst his friend was getting changed I scrubbed the sofa cushion quickly to get the worst of the pee off and turned it over putting a towel under the cushion to protect the base. When they eventually went home later that evening I gave the cushion a full clean. I didn't mention it at all, the poor lad was mortified. My brother told me that he was aware his 20 year old friend still had bed wetting episodes but was to scared to see a Dr. My heart as a mum ached for him.
Firm-Statistician772@reddit
My sister and my best friend’s husband were caught in my bathroom. On my husband’s 40th birthday party.
Garth-Vega@reddit
Dog sitter who stayed for 2 weeks rearranged entire house furniture to be more feng sheui
pizzaosaurs@reddit
My house mate had childhood friends stay for his birthday. We shared a 3 bed house with me and my now ex. My ex was working so said they could sleep in his room, just don't touch any of his stuff. As the only girl, I locked my door so I wouldn't have any unwanted guests.
They got wasted, came back from the club and decided to break down my locked door, strip my bed sheet from me after jumped on me with them feeling me up. As I was trying to get my cover back, I heard them scheming to strip me naked.
I panicked and hid in my cupboard and called my then boyfriend. Him and his dad found the whole house trashed and me hidden in fear with the one sober one sat guard on my bed (he'd found me when he caught up with what the rest had done while he'd been dealing with getting my drunk house mate back in the house).
There was coke showered onto the kitchen ceiling, there was beer poured over my music system because they tried to do karaoke ruining my mic. My amps luckily were professional quality and built to manage decent sized performances so survived. They left the door open, tried on my clothes from the washing line leaving them everywhere or broken.
I got rescued but when my house mate found out, he just laughed and said he had fun with his friends on his birthday, no one got hurt... I still have trauma from that night. My dad found out at my aunt funeral as it was 2 days later and I had left literally the night of and not returned other than to get my clothes for the funeral and to get my bag to travel home.
My dad is abusive but this time he turned it on my housemate. My house mate in 10 minutes went laughing going "boys will be boys" to bring sent out of the room and coming back to a house mate who refused to look me in the eyes the rest of the year and terrified being alone in the house with me. Considering my ex was spending every weekend driving home and working, my house mate slept with a lot of people just to avoid coming home.
So yeah, wrecking my house, sexually assaulting me and stuff...
Kizzieuk@reddit
My cousin felt ill and ran past my loo in the hall to puke in the kitchen sink where my dishes were soaking
denbunn@reddit
Father in law flicked something onto our ikea map of the world that hangs in the bathroom and created a new archipelago in Indonesia
wringtonpete@reddit
Appropriately the word for 'island' in Indonesian is 'pulau', pronounced poo-laow
denbunn@reddit
😂
Divewench@reddit
Had a friend who was going to stay over. He opened the radiator valve, probably thinking the radiator was turned off. We went out for dinner and came back to a large stain on the living room ceiling from the radiator water leaking out. Cheers mate.
Callis_tow@reddit
A former friend vommed a large amount of Guinness all over the brand new double bed in the guest room. He put the sheets in the washing machine, but the mattress, pillows and duvet were ruined - just like the friendship.
Ok_Wrap5233@reddit
While helping me cook my ex father in law would scratch his scalp with a fork and then continue to use it to prepare the food.
GayAttire@reddit
Punctuation is important in this one.
ExplanationMotor2656@reddit
Reminds me of the time I helped my uncle jack off a horse.
ttrsphil@reddit
Why? I cook with my scalp all the time!
AussieManc@reddit
But have you cooked your ex father in law?
bluebellwould@reddit
I just threw up in my mouth. Bleugh
Willsagain2@reddit
Aaaargh.
Smeeble09@reddit
Are they your ex because you cooked their father?
Retiredandrelaxed@reddit
Sorry, I giggled out loud
tomtink1@reddit
I gagged out loud.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Pecorino, anyone?
Trick-Station8742@reddit
Aged
insomnimax_99@reddit
Ersatz parmesan
neilm1000@reddit
Hey, it's extra protein.
Johny_boii2@reddit
Not a big thing but I made breakfast for a friend, just two Nutella toast. A few hours go by and I see them in the bin, I ask her about it just saying "did you put the toast in the bin?" She said no, I sent a picture and said it wasn't her. I'm not sure why she denied it
lalalaloo21@reddit
Someone came in and looked into my fridge. Then broke toilet seat. Flushed with lid open so poo spray could envelope the bathroom
Tabby_Mc@reddit
A university BF came to stay at my parents' house for a few days, summer 1991. Turns out was an absolute sociopath and just before he left he pebbledashed the bathroom with liquid shit. And left it like that...
Horrified 19-year-old me cleaned it up, borking throughout, before my parents got home. Just as I finished the doorbell rang and it was Adrian, fully snotted-up and sobbing, saying he'd turned back because he couldn't drive all the way home 'Without one last cuddle'.
I split up with him over the phone for safety, but that next year at a very small, rural uni was not fun as it turned out he was also a stalking wee bastard... Educational, for sure.
Sxn747Strangers@reddit
We had my Gran staying with us for a bit and she came downstairs into the kitchen while I was eating breakfast.
It was only cereal, probably Kellogg’s Start, and Gran said it looked tasty, Gran didn’t ask if she could try some and before I had the chance to offer her any out of the box, her hand shot into the bowl and into her mouth.
Now Gran was at that age where cleanliness was sometimes not as effective as what it used to be, you know, difficulty wiping her arse and the like.
Both my Mum, (Gran’s daughter), and I were disgusted, I threw it away but I can’t remember if I got some fresh cereal or not.
Neither of us had ever seen that from Gran, before or after that morning as it was out of character.
BrutalOnTheKnees@reddit
Puked exorcist style over the ENTIRE bathroom, more wall than toilet, and left it there for us to discover.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
I am guilty of this 🙈first time meeting a couple of people, all drunk, I’d necked almost 3/4 litre of vodka and for some reason I lost the ability to vomit simply into the toilet and it just went EVERYWHERE 😫
BrutalOnTheKnees@reddit
Did you just casually go about your day afterwards though? 😂
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Unfortunately yes. I was absolutely annihilated and I couldn’t wait to leave the place 😖😖
BrutalOnTheKnees@reddit
Lmao you menace. At least you were drunk and left the house afterwards though.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
I’ve never drank “Russian Standard” Vodka again
Enough-Ad-8378@reddit
Ah, Russia's number 1 premium vodka...
tomtink1@reddit
Ashamed_Fix9652@reddit
😳😳
rubymoon90@reddit
My ex who stayed at mine on weekends, had severe psoriasis on both his elbows and would pick at it when lying in bed and drop the flakes on my carpeted floor. He was abusive too so I wasn't allowed to complain about it and had to just wait till he'd gone home then I'd vacuum. 🤢
RoohsMama@reddit
Off topic, but I made the mistake of eating while reading the responses…
bumford11@reddit
Speak for yourself. I'm having a sausage roll and a wank reading these.
RoohsMama@reddit
Don’t forget to not wash
United-Ear-2360@reddit
Excellent choice 🫡 😋💦
Woollen53@reddit
Same here 😅
ChipCob1@reddit
Pissed in the kitchen bin whilst sleep walking and then gone into the bathroom to sleep in the bath.
CrossCityLine@reddit
To be fair, you just can’t control yourself when that happens. I used to sleepwalk a lot well into my teens and have done some random stuff without my knowledge.
Woke up once and I was half way through making a sandwich, knife in hand, was probably the dodgiest one.
Psychological_Ad853@reddit
I broke the little hatch off an old school telly, you know the one you press in and it folds down to reveal built in buttons? Woke up on an ancient little fold out (inherited from an old dead neighbour) bed clutching it the next morning and it was covered in toothpaste to top it off - for months my grandparents were confused at it constantly going missing and being found in odd places, i dont remember removing it any of the other times 😭 i thought the house and foam fold out were haunted
Morganx27@reddit
I woke up one morning cuddling a tin opener. I've never before been known to sleepwalk outside of a few incidents as a child, so I have no idea what happened
ChipCob1@reddit
Oh definitely, I've done some weird sleep walking myself. A mate had to wake me up once because I was trying to get into a door where there was only wall!
autisticredsquirrel@reddit
My mum told I did that when I was a kid, except it was in the cupboard.
gerrineer@reddit
Aah you know Chris then.
ChipCob1@reddit
It was a Dan but I like the idea that there is someone called Chris wandering the land befriending people just so they can piss in their kitchen bins!
gerrineer@reddit
Chris used to piss in wardrobes bins carpets and people.
ChipCob1@reddit
I'm presuming the last one was on rather than in?
gerrineer@reddit
Well...
ChipCob1@reddit
Oh my! Surely that wasn't whilst sleepwalking?
Hopeful_chap@reddit
Loudly blew their nose in the shower, and left the resulting patina in the glass to dry
Loakie69@reddit
At least it wasn't jizz
mofomofo2020@reddit
Listen, I've told I was sorry, stop going on about it. Jizz ! Sorry, I meant Jeez.
Gullible-Hose4180@reddit
Maybe it was actually
cannarchista@reddit
Loudly blew their load
Hopeful_chap@reddit
Lovely green jizz
Hard_Dave@reddit
There's a proverb for every occasion
Tequila-Tarn@reddit
That went up the tiles.
soupalex@reddit
ah, jizz. snot of the one-eyed trouser snake.
Snoo-84389@reddit
FFS...
That is a whole other level of disgusting and bone-idle...
breaded_skateboard@reddit
If only there was water close by to rinse it off
Hopeful_chap@reddit
Much more courteous to leave it to solidify so it can be scrubbed at like stubborn like old Weetabix
breaded_skateboard@reddit
In that case, you should have used milk to get it off
Odd_Bug_7029@reddit
They could fix potholes with dried on weetabix
dogtrousers@reddit
I had someone do that in my house too! I can't believe there's two people out there who'd do that.
laureno101@reddit
Its more common than you think (coming from a house cleaner)
hiresometoast@reddit
What if it's the same person
GLS1994@reddit
I had a plumber come to fix the boiler and he went into the downstairs toilet right off the kitchen and had a piss with the door open like that was completely normal then carried on working on the boiler. He didn’t even flush.
schoggi-gipfeli@reddit
The guy replacing our electric meter used our loo and didn't flush or wash his hands. He closed the door at least though. Went back out to finish the job, then went for another piss and this time he flushed and washed his hands and then bounced.
wallpapermate@reddit
Big mad Andy does water lego.
malmikea@reddit
Has happened to me
WaggingTheWorld@reddit
I once had a friend leave a used sanitary towel stuck to the outside of our bathroom bin. Eeeee.
Ok_Bumblebee_9873@reddit
I let a colleague who was hard up stay with me once and she would leave used pads on top of the bathroom radiator!
tomtink1@reddit
My sister had a roommate who would put her used pads in the kitchen bin not wrapped up. Not as bad as yours but it reminded me. My sister and the other housemate asked her to roll them and use the bin next to the toilet but she refused...
zinasbear@reddit
I had a housemate who did that..
Put it in the open kitchen bin, face up.
I'm a woman but I don't want to see that shit. Fucking gross.
Fuck you Trudy Golding.
LN-66@reddit
When I was a child (10), my parents had a party and all the close friends of my parents kids were staying at my house. Along with some other neighbours, without kids present or not staying.
So I was in my room with 3 other girls. Two neighbours were so drunk and both cheating on their husband / wife (this had been going on for some time apparently) Walked into in my en-suite. Through my bedroom, past 4 8-12 year old girls basically having a sleepover.
I was not 100% sure what was going on but was old enough to be unsure, I was also very disturbed that random people were in my en-suite. (Spoilt I know).
My mum is still very, very upset about this to this day.
Regardless I and some other girls went and told. It did cause massive village drama.
GirlMcGirlface@reddit
I had a french exchange student come and stay, she took my room whilst I slept on the sofa. Mum made us packed lunches everyday, sandwich, crisps, fruit, cake or chocolate bar. After she left, my room smelled really funky, it got worse and worse over the weeks. Finally tracked down a week's worth of lunches hidden under stuff in the bottom of my wardrobe. Why she didn't just put it in a bin outside the house, either at school or a public bin on a day trip I don't know. Everyday we did an excursion, there were bins everywhere. Just gross!
VideoDeadGamlng@reddit
Vomited down the back of a radiator
Charleypieohwhy@reddit
Who the fuck manages that. Grim.
Dein_Vampyr@reddit
When I still lived in shared accommodation we had a bit of a party and a few people stayed over. I stayed in my housemates room so that someone could sleep in my bed. When everyone had left the next day, I decided to go to my room to have a chilled out day in bed. When I pulled the covers back there was a huge pile of sick in the bed and on the book I was currently reading…
Charleypieohwhy@reddit
My daughters dads auntie.She threw up in the bathroom sink and covered my toothbrush.
RoostingRosco@reddit
When I was about 17-18, stayed at a friend’s relatives house in Scotland. Went out drinking green monsters all night and got hammered. Next morning, woke up in a puddle of green sick all over their spare bed. Memory is shocking nowadays, but I think they took it pretty well, all things considered 🤮
ExtremeCantaloupe201@reddit
First date, went back to mine and chilling
My two Jack Russells start play fighting. She THROWS herself in between them to stop them.
Sure it sounds like bloody murder but I made a joke and didnt interfere when it started. Why she felt the need to jump in IDK
I'm sat there like ye lol my lil babies love to kill each other 🥲
HR_Specter@reddit
Had a monster shit and didn't flush.
That happened 15 years ago and it's still talked about today.
Onoastronauts@reddit
My sister wanted to change the bath panel in her newly built property and there was an Evian bottle of ancient sour piss underneath her bath, left by a contractor
Wetkittennoses@reddit
It was quite a few years ago, my (now) husband’s friend had visited him at our flat one day while I was at work, and he left before I got home.
I’d started drying my hands on a hand towel in the bathroom when I realised there was vomit all over it.
Initially I was told the friend had been unwell, but my husband then said it was because he’d had too much to drink. He spoke to him about it afterwards and he said he’d been trying to clean it up with the towel, but didn’t really apologise.
Queen_of_London@reddit
- Had sex with the other houseguest and left the full condom on the coffee table. And this wasn't after a noisy house party, this was me putting them up for Christmas, and they weren't drunk. I had a young child in the house too.
- Eaten every single item of food in my kitchen including dry porrage and frozen fishfingers. I stock up a lot, so we're talking a month's worth of food eaten overnight - very quietly, with no cooking - by one person. The kitchen looked like a warzone; I couldn't tell which brown streaks were nutella or shit.
She had really severe bulimia, so I couldn't feel angry at her (she genuinely felt awful) but it cost me quite a lot of money. And obviously I also had to clear up the resulting puke and shit, fix the blocked toilet, and take a day off work to deal with the mess. She was allowed to stay again, but I put locks on the cupboards. My GF at the time was annoyed because she thought it would make the guest feel bad, but she wasn't the one who'd tidied it up, and said guest was actually happy *not* to have access to the food.
- Stole all the remote controls and game controllers because they were anti-TV. I owed them money for a car journey we'd taken the night before they stayed over (they'd been the driver), so took the costs out of that and gave them an actual physical cheque for the remainder, which was something like £1.76.
Silver-Advance5276@reddit
Someone monged on Es about 25 years ago took a shit in my laundry basket.
Not in anyway maliciously Im sure, I think he just was in that dream like state you can get into and thought he was in the toilet.
On a positive note it was hard waxy stools which wasn't nearly as bad an outcome as if it had been sludgy mousse like shite.
MarionberryFinal9336@reddit
At a party years ago someone took a shit in the bin next to the toilet. We were all friends. Nobody ever owned up.
PurchaseDry9350@reddit
Tradesman working in my flat randomly invited a neighbour into have a look at something, without asking me. I've barely met the neighbour
joshii87@reddit
My place (a rental) is undergoing renovations and seems to have a cast of thousands at any given time, due to tradies bringing their extended families to work. A random little girl and her friend were rummaging through the fridge yesterday!
Kent_Doggy_Geezer@reddit
Tradies! Australian per chance?
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
You can tell them to kindly fuck off
malmikea@reddit
Both are diabolical
Chopsticks_Charlie@reddit
At a house party I hosted back in the day (year 11 to be exact) one of my druggo pals removed one of my interior doors off its hinges which everybody was kind of perplexed at
museedarsey@reddit
I had a house party at around the same age and the next morning found one of the kitchen knives in one of the stairs. I never found out either who did it or what that particular stair did that cause such rage.
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
Classic yr11 house party and that one kid who's just fucking weird. , and no one knows where they came from they just appear.
Annual_Profession591@reddit
My mate fell asleep at mine once and woke me up early hours of the morning asking how to open the door cos he needed a piss (I had a dodgy door) I just mumbled something and went back to bed.
Woke up the next morning and he was gone. Then another mate came round and the plan was to get beers, after cleaning up a bit I found two full beers that been opened but were pretty much full so I offered my mate a flat beer.
The taste was the worst thing I've tasted in my life... we immediately ran to the bathroom to wash our mouths out...
I saw my mate later that day "what was in those two beers do you know??" He turns round and goes "You didn't drink em did ya???!!!"
KaleidoscopeSilly797@reddit
A 'friend' moved one of my loudspeakers when I went to the toilet. Another friend said no don't do it, but it was too late.
I came back sat in my seat and immediately noticed. Jeez did I explode on him. He was actually crying.
He'll never do it again. To any audiophile!
thecanary85@reddit
Not weird, but gross. A girl I’d brought home was sick in the bathroom. But somehow managed to get it everywhere. Like everywhere. Everywhere but in the toilet. Up the walls, on the ceiling. It was red as well. And stank. The smell lasted weeks.
SongsAboutGhosts@reddit
Kept saying he felt ill so needed to go outside for air, then pissed in my garden.
GordonBThomas@reddit
Back in the late 90s, a school mate and I went to a friend's house party and made the drunken decision to nick a couple of whole nutmegs from his parents’ spice rack. For reasons that made perfect sense at the time, we grated the nutmeg into a rizla over the family bathroom sink, smoked it, and promptly passed out on the floor.
Needless to say, explaining that to our friends dad when he came in for his morning piss was quite an experience.
dong_destroyer69420@reddit
Sorry but what? You smoked nutmeg? Does it have any redeeming qualities to make it smoke worthy?
StockholmGirl29@reddit
A friend stayed the night after a row with her boyfriend. I had an early start the next day and asked her to be quiet if she needed to go to the loo. When I was cleaning the spare room after she'd gone home I found a used Tampax wrapped in a tissue under the pillow! I didn't mention it as I knew how embarrassing it would be for both of us! She never stayed again!
Boogaaa@reddit
Guy who doesn't take drugs or drink at all ended up at mine drunk, had taken a strong ecstasy pill, and I think he might have taken a mushroom pill, on top of smoking weed. He ended up on all fours projectile vomiting on my fucking bed. We got him on the floor, he was covered in his own vomit and starts to wrestle with one of my mates asking him to "Hug me like I'm a girl"
Aggressive-Artist-63@reddit
To be fair….sounds a bit of a legend
Boogaaa@reddit
Fucking liability more like! Haha
curehead98@reddit
There is no such thing as a ‘mushroom pill’
Boogaaa@reddit
There absolutely is. Dry the mushrooms, grind them up, and put them into a capsule
Character_Life840@reddit
I had some good friends round. Two of them decided to get it on in my living room, and left two used condoms in my flowerpot.
Visual-Sand3718@reddit
Chew their toenails
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
Very nimble, could do this as a child. Not anymore
NoSuchWordAsGullible@reddit
I moved to another country and didn’t have time to sell my car, so I put up the advert and left the car at my mother-in-laws house. Someone arranged to come have a look, I told them to ring me if they had questions. They took the car but before they left, they asked to use the bathroom. Dude unleashed nuclear hell in the bathroom, left my mother in law gagging and I still get guilt tripped from time to time about it - it was over a decade ago.
DisorganisedShrew@reddit
Had someone come to collect something from my house from marketplace. They wet themselves.
Also my ex's cousin kept spitting off the balcony (like clearing his throat and spitting). He wasn't allowed back.
Separate_Flight3693@reddit
When we were kids, I had the pleasure of discovering that one of my friends gets his mum to wipe his arse when he has gone for a shit.
How did I find this out? He went for a shit in our house and logically used all the bath towels to wipe his arse like they were giant luxury bits of bogroll.
We were multiple years too old for this to be normal and then after that you could sometimes hear him shouting "MUUUUM!" from across the road and my mum would say that he must need his arse wiping lol.
Mglfll@reddit
Delivery guy who brought over my expectant daughter’s crib, chest of drawers and wardrobe. We were first drop of the day. Asked if they could drop their Mcds breakfast stuff in the wheelie bin. Fine, whatever. Built the furniture, moved into place for my wife. Asked if he could use the loo, we all need to go sometimes. The state he left it in was worse than a Wetherspoons at 1145 on a Friday night! Looked like a shit grenade had exploded in there!
WrongExplanation1065@reddit
It's like when builders ask to use your loo. God no.
SaltyName8341@reddit
Having worked in haulage there's something about driving all day that affects the bowel.
TheMarkMatthews@reddit
Lucky it was the first job of the day then
Awkward_Bao@reddit
Had an electrician round, paid, to do some small job on an outside light. He finished the work and asked to use the loo before he left. Of course I said yes and directed him to the upstairs loo. Once he was all done and had left my house I went up to the loo and he’d done a massive poo and blocked the toilet. Was gross, I had to sort it out. Didn’t need to experience that.
Optimal_Parsnip_348@reddit
Had a family friend and her husband stay at mine and I had a pull out bed in living room, they didn’t know I had a security cam in my living room for my dog, I rarely look at playback but the first night I forget something in the living room and knocked to go in and grab something, they were both a bit surprised and acted weird, the female reach for some kitchen roll while I was there and they both acted weird. Few mins after thinking about what happened I then had a bad thought and I was telling my bf in our bedroom that I think something happened, he kept saying I was crazy. I couldn’t help myself to check cam playback for closure, she basically gave him a handjob and blowjob on my white fabric sofa that I paid £4k for, I have a strict no food and drink rule that I religiously follow, yet alone cum. Absolutely livid and in shock and I scanned the sofa a million times to check there were no cum stains after they left, but I will never know where it landed... I saved them some face by not exposing them but the next day we were out doing touristy stuff and I casually showed them my live cam of living room to check on my dog, and said I record the latest 7 days just in case something happens I can look back. They both looked at each other without saying anything but I hope they fucking shat themselves. Ever since then I’ve hated having guests stay over, I used to love hosting and having people sleepover but after having multiple incidents of disrespecting my home I rarely have anyone sleepover now.
Aggressive-Artist-63@reddit
2 mistakes with that. First off you can’t leave a camera in there that’s just bad form! Secondly, you can’t go back into a room at night even if you have left something, even if it is your house - general privacy. Wait until the morning. Tbh you would have been better off!!
plutoplop@reddit
Sibling & their family stayed at my house for a long weekend (this was planned). Sibling “felt bad” their friends (I had never met these people) didn’t have any plans & invited them & their kids to stay at my house! Super irritated with sibling, but adjusted sleeping arrangements & made it work. They were only staying 1 night & promised to be out early next morning. While I was making dinner, siblings friend wandered into my kitchen, asked what was for dinner, then STUCK THEIR GRUBBY FINGER into 1 of the pots, decided it needed more seasoning & proceeded to rummage in my cabinet & season to their liking! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Kept my mouth shut & got dinner on the table. The next morning, sibling & fam left, but their friends were still lounging in my living room, asking for coffee & if their kids could have something to eat. WTF. They left around noon. Sibling got an earful.
Cheese_Dinosaur@reddit
Drunk house guest could no longer walk due to the amount of alcohol consumed. Needed a poo and proceeded to pull themselves to the bathroom the same way a dog scratches their bum and they left a lovely ‘snail trail’ of poo along the landing. 🥴🤢
Whenever I went to their house after that, I wrote ‘carpet soft’ on the outside of their new packs of loo roll in their bathroom… 🤣
Icy_Appearance_8610@reddit
My ex boyfriend insisting I scratch his back as his greedy spots detached into my nail beds urgh
Count000Zero@reddit
Some1 took a shit in the bathroom (actual tub itself)
Aggressive-Artist-63@reddit
A so called ‘friend’ took a fish out of my freezer and hid it behind a kitchen cabinet. I don’t think I need to expand on what happened next…
Hungry_B4I8@reddit
Heroin
DoubleDeckerz@reddit
Stuffed their skidmark-encrusted boxer shorts under a mattress.
Mysterious_County154@reddit
Me and a friend got really drunk once and I had a half finished PC build on the table
We had overordered McDonalds that night and there was a ton of food left. She proceeded to made 3 thermal paste cheeseburgers and put them in the fridge for me to find the next morning
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
What’s thermal paste?!
MattyCatts1@reddit
Something used in PC building.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Yum! 😂
Thick-Bookkeeper-356@reddit
A kid at one of my daughters birthday parties curled one out on our en-suite floor. They were primary school girls. Never worked out who did it.
redlady1991@reddit
Casual partner at the time got drunk and passed out on my parents sofa. Chundered his dinner (tuna pasta salad) and a stomachful of tequila onto, and through, the reclining leg bit of the sofa and onto the carpet.
Had to rugby tackle the cat to stop her from eating it. I was also meant to be sleeping on the other sofa but couldn't cope with the smell and it was too late to get the carpet cleaner out. I spent the night sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and questioning my romantic choices.
Wish I'd dumped him then. Turns out he had an affair with my mother 😂
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
That escalated quickly and dreadfully! I hope you discarded your “mother” after this. What an absolute disgrace she was
redlady1991@reddit
I did, she died 😂
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Screw her! I’m sorry she was a bastard, she never deserved you ❤️
redlady1991@reddit
Thank you friend 💜 she in all honesty wasn't as bad as I'm painting, this was the worst thing she did by far. Otherwise I was brought up okay and am well rounded (thanks to therapy).
That said...I have kids now myself and couldn't even imagine doing that!
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
She definitely is that bad! It’s just not nice for you to think about because it’s your mum. Being blood related doesn’t minimise nor justify the betrayal 😞 You’re a credit to yourself, be proud of your kind heart ❤️
kipha01@reddit
We had a kid stay with us from the US that was 18 and a friend of my wife's family. So as it was legal for him to drink in the UK we took him out for his first, he opted for a cider, only the one mind. The poor kid puked in the night all up the wall next to bed and then across the floor on the other side. My wife helped him clean up. I slept though it as I work the next day. He has remained teetotal ever since.
Flavourifshrrp@reddit
He only had one drink and did that?
What cider was it!
CorpusCalossum@reddit
It could've been contaminated pumps.
I had projectile vomiting after 2 pints once, back in the day when I could manage 10.
kipha01@reddit
Bulmers I think... This was nearly 20 years ago.
Rhyskrispies@reddit
Stopped by to generate a semen sample as I lived close to the hospital and he had to pop over from work. It wasn’t too gross really but it was a bit awkward that he chose to do it in the kitchen.
MedicalAnteater@reddit
Pissed in a saucepan and tried to put it in the freezer.
Even that was an improvement on what he was trying to do before he grabbed the saucepan.
suveam@reddit
Clipped their fingernails while sitting on the sofa & left them in a pile on the coffee table. They have not been invited back!
Outside-Resist4688@reddit
Left chewing gum and torn toe-nails on my bedside table
DDFingers@reddit
Weird kid down the road took a shit in my bath at a party. Didn’t find until the following day and had to mash it down the plug hole as it was soggy.
hokkuhokku@reddit
Pulled his socks off to better scratch at the dry, broken skin and inflamed rash upon his feet, like a vile and nightmarish pastry-chef dusting my floor and sofa like some sort of diseased sponge cake.
PM-UR-LIL-TIDDIES@reddit
Thou art a poet, yet alas, what a day to be literate.
Froggman_Tom@reddit
Puked down the side of a bed then hid it by covering it with clothes
RobertStaccd@reddit
I threw up after having my baby, in the hospital cot (baby was being held by partner) - the midwife covered my sick with a towel and left it ✌🏼I couldn't clean up as I'd had surgery. I'll never forget.
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
When the midwife was checking my area to see if I needed stitches, I farted in her face quite by accident. She let out a little 'oh!' but we then all just pretended like nothing happened.
Froggman_Tom@reddit
Wow thats just insane. As if nine months of feeling sick isn’t enough. So sorry that happened to you. You just expect medical staff to well actually care for you
FitSolution2882@reddit
Are they one of my dogs?
Froggman_Tom@reddit
That’s totally forgivable unless they’ve been tidying up after the cat
CalligrapherExtreme8@reddit
Yours or theirs?
Froggman_Tom@reddit
Spare bed and my clothes.
DangerousDisplay7664@reddit
Grim 🤢
Froggman_Tom@reddit
No love lost on that one
Bustakrimes91@reddit
That’s actually happened to me too! I was absolutely fuming especially as I was really hungover and feeling sick myself and secondly because it was a brand new carpet it only had fitted the day before!
Froggman_Tom@reddit
I didn’t find it until I was about to go to bed that night. Must have been there for 20 hours
Brand new carpets thats a kick wher you don’t want it
Ambitious-Road-8106@reddit
I had a cousin who subsequently I've only met once, his family came to visit when he was young and he took a bite out of every piece of fruit in the fruit bowl and buggered off
Suspicious_Banana255@reddit
Dropped a poo out on the bathroom floor and got it on the bottom of their slipper, then walked around the house.
ImThatBitchNoodles@reddit
So many comments about poo on bathroom floors. Are these people dysfunctional or something? Do they just let it drop before they sit, how does one end up shitting on the floor?
ttrsphil@reddit
Today I am reminded that we live among animals.
Dead_Bones001@reddit
My friend once used my shower puff, you know the thing that had been all around all my bum and lady parts....she didn't seem the least bit bothered when I mentioned that either.
impatientbadger@reddit
Uses the cloth we wipe the kitchen worktops to clean spills on the floor, then puts the cloth back where it goes to be unknowingly used to wipe the worktops again!
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
An ex friend used to wash her sons potty in the washing up bowl along with the plates cups etc. same sponge for all 🤢
impatientbadger@reddit
That's horrific! I swear these people just think germs and dirt disappear as soon as they're on the sponge/cloth, and won't then be transferred on to stuff washed after 😢
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Common sense and cleanliness was never her strongest points
impatientbadger@reddit
Oh and brings slippers over to our house because we don't like shoes worn inside, proceeds to wear said slippers out in our garden on the lawn where the dogs wee and poo and then comes back in the house with the slippers on 🤦🏻♀️
sputnikandstump@reddit
My ex-FIL shat himself/followed through in the shower and then gave me grief for not maintaining my plumbing, as if my poor maintenance caused shit on the tiles at ass height. And as if his son should get off scot free for poorly maintained plumbing too 😂
OtterRanch@reddit
FIL routinely leaves skid marks in the toilet before getting a flight home. Can't help but see it as a power move.
Affectionate-Owl9594@reddit
My housemate shat in our washing machine at a party. Denied it was him at the time, the truth didn’t come out until years later.
porksandrecreation@reddit
When I was younger, I invited a new friend over and she had an accident and hid her shitty knickers in my bedroom.
No-Communication3618@reddit
At a party once and witnessed someone pissing in the tumble dryer then put it on for a cycle, then left.
herwiththepurplehair@reddit
Nobody has ever done anything gross but my weirdo sister took all of my towels out of my towel box and refolded them to her satisfaction.
Onetrillionpounds@reddit
Used my toilet brush on a stubborn flusher. Must have give it a right good mushing.
floatinginmyroom@reddit
One of my cousins came to stay when I was a child and he left used toilet paper lined up in a perfect row on the shelf in the bathroom.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Excellent 🤢
BookWurm_90@reddit
had sex with me when I wasn’t even looking
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
Sorry but I can’t take this seriously 🥹😂😞
Human_Economics_4786@reddit
Not my house but a close friend of mine had a smallish house party and one of the (drunk) guests went around snapping all of her lovely candles in half including ones she’d just been gifted for her birthday. As far as I know they had no reason to be upset with anyone there.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
What an a-hole
PaulWhickerTallVicar@reddit
Not my house but my neighbours house. They used to run a pub in town and often had parties at home where many of the pub regulars would be invited. Friend of mine went to the bathroom, door wasn’t locked, and walked in on Bobby, a guy in his 70’s. He had chronic piles and was astride the shower curtain, wiping the cold curtain back and forwards up the crack in his arse. My mate said the shower curtain was a mess of blood and shit. Bobby was quickly ejected from the house.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
What were his intentions with the shower curtain?!
hokkuhokku@reddit
I had a friend that was notorious for sleep-pissing. He’d been found pissing in cupboards, hallways, on walls. The lot. He’d even been found - mid stream - in other parent’s bedrooms, utterly oblivious and entirely devoid of waking consciousness, emptying his bladder into a sock-drawer.
Anyways. He pissed up the inside of my living-room window one night, after falling asleep in a crumpled heap betwixt couch and floor at the end of a house-party.
A few of us were stirred by the strong rattle of piss against thin pane, and just had to let him get on with it. I mean, what do you do? Move him, and it’s going absolutely everywhere, isn’t it?!
Next morning, he was absolutely horrified to discover what he’d done, and spent the best part of an hour with rubber gloves and hot water, scrubbing the window, wall, and floor where he’d left his mark.
His embarrassment kept him away from my flat for a few months afterwards. Just long enough for us to erect a mock-plaque honouring both him, the event, and its date and time.
Bless you, Russ. We love you, mate
Lower-Ad-2082@reddit
House party back when I was 17, someone soaked my friends dad's dressing gown with water and put it in the freezer. We discovered it the next day and it was literally a brick.
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
That’s actually hilarious 😂 🤣
Doctordelayus@reddit
My distant cousin when he was a younger kid (6-8) would hide behind the sofa, beside my bed, places like that and crawl around, he’d also just lay on the floor and let my dog just lick his face… was a strange kid
Soggywallet94@reddit
Wasn't gross but someone stuck all the dry spaghetti in the butter so it looked like a pale hedgehog, definitely a weird thing to do.
k20vtec01@reddit
So how did it taste?
Soggywallet94@reddit
I returned them to their appropriate domeciles and consumed them separately as I'm sure any one (aside from the mystery hedghod maker) would, so the spaghetti tasted like very lightly buttered spaghetti and the butter tasted like butter with small holes in it.
geesegoesgoose@reddit
Did the small holes improve the butter?
Soggywallet94@reddit
No they were only in attendance, but it seemed unfair to leave them out.
Willsagain2@reddit
Spiky
87catmama@reddit
That made me chuckle out loud.
ImThatBitchNoodles@reddit
A very good friend of my partner's asked us to host his cousin for a night and we said yes.
This cousin, how do I say this...lacked any sort of manners. Chewing loudly, picking his nose in front of us and farting at the table after dinner were just a few of the things he's done in the first 2 hours of being here.
As we were getting ready to call it a night, he came out of the bathroom, thanked us for the dinner and then casually ended with "oh, by the way, I used your toothbrush."
He didn't even wait for a response, just headed to his bedroom. I was mortified.
Particular-Trifle656@reddit
Not my own house but in a guest house I used to clean I’d find chunks of poo in the shower traps on more than one occasion
Funky_monkey2026@reddit
FIL somehow got shit on the corner of the bath. Me and my partner hypothesised that he must have flicked the brush after dropping a big one.
neeevie@reddit
French exchange student left nail clippers in my bed
ResponsibleLiability@reddit
As long as there were no clippings!
HopeTheresPudding@reddit
Asked my ex SIL if she wanted to stay with us when the first lock down came around, she was single and obviously thankful. A few weeks of tension later, I kindly told her that she'd need to keep her dogs controlled, stop barging into my bathroom when she knew I was in there, and stop complaining about my music that I only listened to when I cooked, and she threw my own computer chair at me. I don't think I ever looked her in the eye again
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
My male friend missed their bus so I (f) said they could sleep on the sofa. Woke up in the morning to find them asleep next to me in bed. I kicked him out & never spoke to him again.
martinhayman@reddit
Putting a cup in the dishwasher upright. Disgusting!
Hackerssuck3@reddit
A tradesman once left a nugget of shit hanging on the underside of the toilet seat. It was huge and I only noticed at the end of the day. Of course my main concern was that the other trades didn’t think I was a dirty bitch.
Now when I have a lot of people in the house to work, I feel the need to check it’s clean constantly.
silvertit@reddit
threw up in the toilet and didn't clean up after themselves, it was only in the bowl thankfully but they could've poured some bleach 😭
Bifanarama@reddit
Not my house, and not my guest. But I'm currently on a cruise ship. Our cabin has a shiny metal ceiling. Above the bed are 2 hand-prints. I really want to believe that they were left by someone changing a light bulb.
If they weren’t, I frankly have no idea. I keep trying (not) to think how they got there, and why.
Noctemme@reddit
Ghosts
ItchyPalpitation1256@reddit
A friend asked if he could come and borrow my laptop because his internet was down.
Locked himself in my room saying he didn't want to be distracted.
20 minutes later he came out saying he was done.
He'd deleted all my the browser history on my computer so I know what went down in that room
scarletOwilde@reddit
Puked in my bed and then pulled the quilt up over it.
Excellent-Aide6884@reddit
A family member who was staying left a soiled nappy (folded over but not bagged) on both the dining table and the kitchen counter. When challenged they claimed I was overreacting. 🤢
Elysiumthistime@reddit
This lad put the plug in and pissed in my bath many many years ago. Safe to say that was the first and last time he was anywhere near me or my house.
2Tired2BAngry@reddit
I had a plumber fit an outside tap and while he was mid conversation with my wife (I think she was offering a cuppa) he unzipped his trousers and started pissing up the side of my house. He was less than a 30 seconds walk away our bathroom.
1kBabyOilBottles@reddit
Not my house but at a housewarming party I was at somebody pissed in the kettle and boiled it
LakeNo6776@reddit
My friend's now ex boyfriend smoked crack in my spare room and hid the make shift pipe (made out of a beer can) under the bed. We don't even smoke. We had no idea until I found the pipe when cleaning after she moved out. She was mortified.
gillardpeterjack1905@reddit
My sisters boyfriend pissed in my mums suitcase the day before she went on holiday.
EmuComprehensive8200@reddit
Didn't happen to me, but a guy I know was staying over at his mates after a heavy night. Was so drunk he opened the wardrobe and shat in there after somehow confusing it for the bathroom. The next day his mate opened the cupboard to get some fresh clothes and was greater with a fat shit lumped right there.
That was like 25 years ago and people still talk about it.
Mysterious_County154@reddit
My little brother used to pick his nose and then stick the bogey that came out onto the wall
Thankfully he is older now and no longer does this
thefooleryoftom@reddit
Vomited red wine 360° all over our bathroom.
elegantbratz@reddit
My friend went into my parents room and looked in their drawers whilst on her way to the toilet at my party, I only know because she told us, I’m still perplexed why she snitched on herself.
bloodandglory31@reddit
Friend of a housemate came downstairs and took a perfectly curled no.2 on a kitchen chair. Funnily enough he wasn’t welcome back!
Bumbaguette@reddit
Was said friend a literal dog?
bloodandglory31@reddit
100% human apparently
DadsArmchair@reddit
A mate was so drunk he slept walked to the kitchen and took a shit in my dishwasher. Tried to blame it on the cat.
shanodindryad@reddit
One of the guys replacing our boiler clogged the toilet so badly we had to buy a special plunger to sort it out. Never mentioned anything just stuffed the loo full of paper and left.
inaccurateshark@reddit
My cousin got drunk at a family gathering at my house and smoked several cigarettes in the bathroom while having an hour-long poo, then left ash, cigarette ends, and a turd covered toilet brush in a vase he'd mistaken for the toilet brush holder.
Christine4321@reddit
Had elderly house guests (not related, a friend of someone who needed to stay for an airport overnight), and they put their dentures on the dining room table and left them there till morning.
Smeeble09@reddit
My mate ate so many sweets that he felt ill and threw up in our bath, not the toilet to next it, the bath.
There was zero alcohol involved.
doegrey@reddit
Left their used tampon in the shower. 😖
Kaurblimey@reddit
I used my friends toothbrush in a drunken haze. Felt so bad
emjayem22@reddit
Not me or my house but a young ex colleague of my wife used to stay at her boyfriends most weekends. They would generally go out drinking on a Friday night and often it would get messy. She would sometimes sleep walk and once woke up standing next to the bed of her boyfriends parents... Naked.
Woke both of them up and the mum jumped out of bed to usher her back to her son's room. The son's bedroom was an attic room with a attic type stair/ladder.
The mum spent the next 15 mins underneath the naked girl, pushing her up the ladder back into the room.. with the dad calling out from the bedroom if she wanted any help (which was a resounding no from the mum). The son was unconscious in bed.
The girl was understandably distraught when she found out the story.. though not so embarrassed not to tell the office.
maccon25@reddit
don’t find this that gross but a mate had a wank in the bathroom in the middle of the day — also mate got pissed, slept over and found skid marks later on the bed he slept in - slightly more gross
KiwiNo2638@reddit
I had a massive in the wrong toilet at a friend's house and couldn't flush it, and was in a rush for the train. Does that count?
_Cridders_@reddit
Not my house, but a friend went to a party at a friend's house, got blind drunk, slept on the sofa but also for some reason got naked from the waste down. The host's mum was the first to come down in the morning to discover him 😂
Its_me_Dan@reddit
Years ago my brother had some "friends" sleep over at my mums. During the night they had written their names on the wall in pen and smeared eggs on all the mirrors..
victoriashilp@reddit
My ex husband’s grandmother: every time she had a meal at our house, she would use our kitchen sink to rinse her mouth with water and spit out whatever food was left in her mouth. She would then use the communal kitchen towel to dry her mouth.
Strict_Ad2788@reddit
Used my tea towel to wipe her hands which had been touching raw meat. Then proceeding to use the same tea towel to wipe her mouth with after eating.
sapphire-sky-dragon@reddit
Blocked my toilet with a huge shit, tried to flush it so the water came to the rim, left and never told me. I found out hours later when I went to wee .
Outraged_Chihuahua@reddit
Asked for a specific type of cereal then proceeded to eat 2 entire boxes of cereal in two days, but completely ignored the cereal he asked for. Left wet towels on the bed which I only found when I went in to change the sheets after he left. Was offered a fan to have on at night but proceeded to take the really big, loud fan he was asked not to use because it was too loud for anyone else to sleep. Same guy also broke something in a different person's house and only told them about it when they asked about it. Blamed all of this on being autistic, despite everyone he stayed with also being some flavour of neurodivergent and knowing how to behave in other people's houses.
hunsnet457@reddit
Shit the bed. With no reasoning give like ‘food poisoning’ or some other illness, in fact they din’t seem that surprised or even embarrassed.
Free_Ad7415@reddit
Every single tradesman who has entered my home has pissed all over the toilet and left it (that’s about six of them).
norf11@reddit
Pissed in my fridge
BeanOnAJourney@reddit
My sister's boyfriend got so drunk he vomited on the landing, subsequently fell asleep sprawled across the landing, got up and moved to the toilet, fell asleep with his head resting on the toilet seat. This was after he vomited out of the car window when my mum was driving them home from the nightclub.
Boring-Equivalent315@reddit
Once took a woman home after a first date - we’d had a fair bit to drink - and she puked in my bed. Also once caught a tradesman peeing in the front garden.
ddttm@reddit
Probably about 1989, Christmas and New Year when I was a kid, one of our cousins and his dog were staying with us, he was sleeping on a Zed bed in the dining room, I snuck down for a glass of water one night and saw him pick his nose and got the dog to lick the resulting treasure off his finger.
NoApartment7399@reddit
Groooss
bobbyroberts72@reddit
Not my house but 3 of us sleeping in the living after a night out and one guy got up in the middle of the night, pissed on the tv and then went back to sleep.
He had no recollection of it in the morning.
letsgetevil66@reddit
They walked through the front door and entered
GetCapeFly@reddit
Left pubes in the bed. Just had slept naked but the sheets are white so when I went to strip the bed I had to use a lint roller. Bit grim.
sauce___x@reddit
Really don’t get this, you think people leave their pubes around? I sleep naked a lot and I don’t have a trail of hair…
Natural_Trick4934@reddit
Not washing those sheets and using a lint roller is far worse than their crime you animal 😅
GetCapeFly@reddit
Of course I washed it. I had to use the lint roller before putting in the washer as I didn’t want the pubes stuck in my filter.
SaltyName8341@reddit
They'd be clean in the filter
GetCapeFly@reddit
Then I’d face to touch them or worse they’d end up in the kitchen sink as I clean the filter.
bonjajr@reddit
How do you know it was from the pubes? Might have been leg or back hair?
Jimmy3671@reddit
My flat mates friend puked in the kitchen sink and didn't tell any one. He wasn't drunk or any thing he went into the kitchen for a drink came out and said he had to leave.
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