Moving back to the UK from Australia
Posted by youngtommy86@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 14 comments
Im a 40 year old Englishman who's been in Melbourne Australia for the past 15 years. Im a bricklayer so plenty of work and I don't miss many days work due to the rain. I am settled here, I've got a house with my South American partner who ive been with for the past 9 years we don't have any kids. However for the past 4 years ive had a real pull to leave and move back to the UK. Seeing my parents getting older has made it harder being so far away and recently my mum nearly died after suffering a bleed on the brain. I went home for a few weeks to help my Dad out and see my mum who is recovering and we're still unsure what her recovery looks like as its going to take a long time but she is making good but slow progress.
Ive mentioned to my partner many times that if something ever happened to my parents I would like to move back to the UK. I have a trip back home booked again around xmas and once I get back from that I would like to start the process of moving back. Shes not so keen on moving over, shes has her citizenship for Australia and she loves it here. Im thinking we may have to break up but we work together so well shes like my partner in crime. It just feels sad that we may be breaking up. I cant however be on the otherside of the world to my family and seeing them getting older anymore, I cant keep doing the goodbyes at the airport. I always love my trips back home and I feel at home like I belong there. I know a holiday is not the same as living there again but I feel like I would be ok. I would have to move in with my parents again while I get settled. They live on the south coast near the seven sisters which is
beautiful and I love it there.
Im just looking for some advice, has anyone been in a similar situation? How have you found being in the UK again? Have you broken up with a partner to move back to be with your family?
Ok_Program6202@reddit
Is it possible for them to come to Australia for a good long holiday? Get them to have a nice break in warmer weather and see the life you lead. At the end of three or six months you can have a good chat with them and make a final decision.
Anj_Ja@reddit
I don't have any advice, but I want to offer solidarity as a Brit in Australia, age 45. I've got far fewer complexities than you (no house, no partner) but similarly ageing parents and I absolutely loathe the goodbyes, which are getting much worse as time goes on. I've started to think about moving back, but it feels premature by 2-3 years for me. Thankfully my parents are in reasonable health, but I think every day about the potential consequences of my choices, which is an emotional and mental weight I imagine would dissipate were I to move back. It's so tough, but with air travel becoming increasingly problematic, I'm not sure how sustainable our lives across borders are going to be into the future. I think I'm gearing up to slowly come to terms with a future back where I started. Good luck with your decision.
Throwawayboxx@reddit
I lived in Australia for several years, and Melbourne for a few of those. I loved the place and the lifestyle. The biggest problem with it is that it’s just too far from Europe and North America, and the time difference was tough to stay in touch. I guess we probably both arrived around the same time but I ended up leaving and moving to Europe. I still have the nostalgic moments though. It was a special time in my life but it was the right choice for me to close that chapter as I found myself beginning to mentally check out about a year before I left.
Calm-Drop-9221@reddit
Uk born, been in Australia since 1990 when I arrived in my 20s as a backpacker but with residency. Have been back to the UK a couple of times to live 90s and 2020s and it didn't work out. Lifestyle, weather, pay and the novelty wore off. Uk in the summer when you're not working and have Aussie dollars to spend with free accommodation is tge best for a few weeks, maybe months. Waking up in the dark in February to sit in traffic on the way to work and earn half of what you earn in Oz, to drive back home in the dark and hope the central heating bill isn't going to take a big chunk out of your spending money...is a different story
Zealousideal_Rub6758@reddit
This is an expat sub, so people will likely lean towards telling you to stay in Australia. For me, I think you have to live your life. If you are able to take career breaks to look after your parents, you should. But I’m not sure I would go back unless you want more aspects about England - your friends, England itself - and you would be willing to give up the pros of living in Australia. For me thinking about my parents, I know they wouldn’t want me to give up my life partner just for them. But ultimately it’s up to you to decide.
AcousticMayo@reddit
Good answer. But missing one thing
OP, if you missed the last years with your Mum, how badly would that affect you?
I think I could deal with it, because that's the cost of living on the other side of the world, you have the chance of these things happening. But it sounds like your heart is already on moving back
youngtommy86@reddit (OP)
Yeah that's a big reason for wanting to go back I don't want to miss out on spending time with my parents in their latter years
LensC@reddit
Alternatively, you could avoid all of this by bringing them over to Australia instead.
Vivid-Teacher4189@reddit
That’s not really an option for parent visas in Australia, they are extremely expensive with a processing time of over 30+ years .
BitterCaregiver1301@reddit
No good answers just do whatever you want.
STQ1234@reddit
I left my expat life to be closer to ageing parents. Life in the UK is expensive and boring for someone with my personality type but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make for now. There is no perfect choice unfortunately.
Regular_Fruit_2907@reddit
We moved back from Mexico, wife is a surgeon I owned restaurants and pubs. We had our first child on the way, so it was really for the support and family. Unfortunately her parents were deceased and the working environment is 24/7 so my daughter would have been in a nursery 18hrs a day . My parents were retired and willing to step in to help us re-establish ourselves. 15yrs on we've no regrets bar the rain and cold winters which the UK has. Yes It was a struggle and stressful I had to establish myself again, wife with her career was quite straightforward eg nhs. Personally we probably will retire in Mexico once our daughters find their own pathways. I honestly couldn't advise either way but home seems to have a drawing back or hold. We moved for in our opinion for the right reasons . We still own property in Mexico and all that goes with it eg cars furniture and clothes and go back regularly eg summer and Easter and I've business interests still running in Mexico so in some ways we've only put that part on distance hold. The only thing I can see that will be a issue is immigration for your partner and the costs and requirements.
youngtommy86@reddit (OP)
Thank you!
Regular_Fruit_2907@reddit
No worries chum your a hard decision to make. We've as a family had several members move back to the UK which was amazing. Cousins moved back a few years ago from new Zealand they were out there from 1975 so well established other ones came home from Canada they moved in the early 80s, I'm Relatively recent eg moved to Mexico in 2000 came home in 2011.