What was an oddity about your primary school?

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Extensions9@reddit

Our school had a massive tortoise that just lived in the hallway. Like nobody questioned it, it was just there. Pretty sure it outlived half the staff tbh.

Also our PE teacher made us do "relaxation time" at the end of every lesson where we just lay on the floor in silence for like 5 mins. Ngl as a kid it was weird but as an adult I get it, those kids were absolutely feral.

If ur still at the school or know anyone who went there, def try to track down who wrote Mr Grick, that sounds like it could genuinely be a lost banger.

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Honey-Badger@reddit

Also our PE teacher made us do "relaxation time" at the end of every lesson where we just lay on the floor in silence for like 5 mins

I think this is quite common, not necessarily always a PE teacher but it was a thing in primary schools in the 90s at least

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This_Rom_Bites@reddit

My junior school cast it as a game and called it 'sleeping lions' in the 80s.

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caffeine_lights@reddit

This was a classic of birthday parties in the 90s as well. Probably to calm us down before we stuffed ourselves full of e-numbers.

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Honey-Badger@reddit

Ah yeah we also called it that

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Proof-Lavishness7100@reddit

Yeah thinking back, we did a lot on "Cool Down" in primary.

Change that to secondary where we had to quickly get changed (without showering) as they always made the lessons over-run.

First period PE was the fucking worst.

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LaMaupindAubigny@reddit

We had to lay down and chill at the end of PE as well, most teachers played classical music but one played that Breakfast at Tiffany’s song every week.

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PiliPala17@reddit

We had a rabbit that lived in the corridor, my first memory of school was the smell of sawdust!

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polka-dotss@reddit

I worked at a school that was near a shoe factory and it had a room for trying and testing shoes. Children would be called out of lessons to go and test out shoes and would sometimes come back into class with different shoes or even slippers on.

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Old-Cauliflower-1414@reddit

Primary school had a lot of taxidermy. I think the headmaster must have been a fan of it.

Before my time at the school, they had an old, actual real full-size plane in the playing field, that the children could play on!

Secondary school oddities included having a miniature ride-on train, on a miniature train track and also having a beehive.

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Avox0976@reddit

Did you go to the same primary school as u/noggerthefriendo

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Old-Cauliflower-1414@reddit

No, it seems there were several headmaster into taxidermy!

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RecentTwo544@reddit

Our headmaster was a lovely bloke, devoutly Christian in one of those nice rather than nasty ways.

He used to tell stories about Jesus and would be cracking himself up with inane details, like how Jesus made his bed and didn't have his mum or dad to do it.

Now obviously this was meant to be a "be grateful for what you have in the modern age" type fable, but even at 6 I rememeber thinking this guy cannot possibly know any of this and Jesus/god probably aren't real.

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Echo_Vale@reddit

A bit unrelated, but I do love it when people truly embrace what Christianity is supposed to be. In high school we used to have band practise in this church sometimes, and the vicar would come in every now and then and applaud us and cheer us on (even though we were terrible and played some songs most religious people would probably object to). He even came to some of our gigs at pubs later on. Nicest man I've ever met, never met anyone who cared more about the local community than he did.

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Proof-Lavishness7100@reddit

what Christianity is supposed to be.

Rape and pillage those who don't succumb to your religion?

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Echo_Vale@reddit

I don't remember Jesus preaching that. All religions are bastardised and exploited by terrible people, it's a great excuse to do horrible things to people not like you. It doesn't mean that's fundamentally what the religion is though. Look at "Christianity" in the US at the moment, it's almost as far removed from the teachings of Jesus as you can possibly get.

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Proof-Lavishness7100@reddit

Its in the book

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West-Season-2713@reddit

Even a lot of people who claim to be against all the awful and bigoted things in the bible seem to love pretending that’s all confined to the old testament.

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

The vicar in my school was also a lovely guy, and a legend. And my teacher was a kind Christian too. The chilled C of E types are really cool

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HumanTorch23@reddit

This is actually what a lot of military chaplains are like. By and large, incredible people

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B0b_Howard@reddit

I got thrown out of church parade in basic training because the chaplain wanted our opinion of the phrase "Dulce decorum est pro patria mori".
He wasn't impressed when I said I agreed with Wilfred Owen.
Got beasted for an hour til I was puking my ring up because of that git.

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professorrev@reddit

We had a head teacher in infants school that looked like a cross between the painting of Mrs Mangel and ET. Whenever she read a story in assembly she insisted on sounding all the punctuation out loud, leading to such moving recitals as

"Brer Rabbit said open speech marks what are you doing here close speech marks full stop"

In junior school one of our teachers fell off a horse and came back a born again Christian. She tried to ban shell suits for being the "spawn of the devil" and insisted that bum bags be renamed fun bags, seemingly oblivious to the fact that, if anything, that was even ruder

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vipros42@reddit

There were 46 people in it when I was in the last year there. 5 in my year.

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noggerthefriendo@reddit

Headmaster was really into taxidermy so the school was full of stuffed animals,rumour was that some were killed by him personally

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Avox0976@reddit

Did u go to the same primary school as u/Old-Cauliflower-1414

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noggerthefriendo@reddit

No plane at my school

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MoblandJordan@reddit

We had 65 kids in a class in a big double classroom, with 2 teachers and 2 assistants. You would move desks every hour for different subjects and everyone would sit on the floor in the middle for stories and stuff.

The best bit was if someone was so bad that BOTH teachers yelled at them.

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Grimdotdotdot@reddit

Holy hell. My school had 12 students, and my class (and year group) had 3 🤣

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Potential-Avocado705@reddit

Mine had even less! 10 in total, 2 in my year!

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Grimdotdotdot@reddit

Now I'm wondering if they could possibly be the same school in different years. Mine was in North Bedfordshire.

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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

There was a whip in the head teachers office

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systemicrevulsion@reddit

That was standard in the pre 90s era

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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

This was the early 2000s

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

Also early 2000’s, and my headteacher threw the chalkboard eraser at a kid that was misbehaving once😂 It was a heavy wooden block thing

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caffeine_lights@reddit

My sister's teacher used to throw blackboard rubbers at them and snap whiteboard pens in half while yelling "LOOK WHAT YOU'RE MAKING ME DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and then throw those at people as well, while complaining that she would have to pay for the pens that she broke.

She went off shortly afterwards with stress.

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systemicrevulsion@reddit

We had a teacher that threw blackboard eraser at students. Once it hit a pupil in the eye and he ended up with a black eye and the teacher got suspended for a week.

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

Haha that’s insane! I don’t even think my old headteacher was stressed. She was just super old school.

We studied the Victorians around that age, and I somehow reached the conclusion that my headteacher was also a Victorian 😂

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caffeine_lights@reddit

I was JUST saying this the other day! I live in Germany now and my kids are in German schools and it blew my mind that they learn history in order. So they start with the ancient peoples and move slowly forward through time, and subsequently end up with a much better picture of how things actually happened and what events led to others etc. Whereas I think I just had an idea that all periods of history were completely different casts of characters, like when you have the Aztec/Egyptian/Medieval zones in a video game or something.

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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

You still had blackboards? Wow... we had normal whiteboards while I was there we got those electric things and nobody knew how to use them

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

Yeah! We were a small primary school so things were quite outdated. While I was in school we transitioned from blackboards to whiteboards, and then the year we left we had electric boards!

I never really thought about it, but I witnessed 3 generations of tech just in primary school😂

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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

We wernt very big perhaps 50 kids in 3 classrooms

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This_Rom_Bites@reddit

One of my middle school teachers (showing my age) was notorious for hurling pieces of chalk at inattentive pupils in his class.

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LordGeni@reddit

That was pretty common at my school a decade or so earlier.

That or the chalk, depending on what he was holding at the time.

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caffeine_lights@reddit

It was probably just there for show, they weren't allowed to use it any more unless you were at a private school. I think corporal punishment only got banned in private schools from about 2004.

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JennyW93@reddit

A few year groups didn’t have any kids in them. There were only 60 of us in the whole school, so two or three year groups shared one classroom each. By the time I got to year 6, there were no children in reception or in year 3. There were 8 people in my year, we were one of the bigger intakes.

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CasualGlam87@reddit

Same at my primary. It was a little bigger (I think around 70- 80 pupils) but some years got taught together because there wasn't enough pupils or teachers to have them separate.

If I remember rightly there was only 4 main teachers, plus a music teacher who seemed to spend half the school's budget on random instruments (like a massive gong and a set of steal drums).

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Foxtrot7888@reddit

My primary schools was the same size, about 60 pupils in three classes. We had an area sports competition against other nearby village schools every year and my school was the biggest one, some only had about 20 pupils.

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rogfrich@reddit

Somehow, our town ended up with two separate primary schools that shared a playing field. At breaks, both sets of kids kept to their own end of the field and never interacted.

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VictorAnichebend@reddit

We had a song we used to sing in assembly called ‘Mr. Grick’, which was about a goblin who didn’t like bullying.

I have searched for this song on the internet since and it doesn’t appear to exist outside of my primary, so I think our headteacher wrote it…

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LaMaupindAubigny@reddit

We also sang a song that doesn’t seem to exist online! Sadly it wasn’t about a goblin, it was a Harvest Festival song about how the food in supermarkets came from different countries, like tea from China. I remember the chorus went “push the trolley with the basket/down between the rows and shelves/see the tins and jars and packets/this is how we serve ourselves”. It was quite jaunty! But no evidence of it anywhere…

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caffeine_lights@reddit

We had another one! It was called "The Age of the Chip" which was all about how we had been through various historical periods (I only remember the Stone Age, but things like that, all different historical "ages" IIRC) and in our modern times, computer chips would change the world. I remember the chorus going "We're in the age of the chip!" Unfortunately I can't remember any other lyrics at all. This would have been during the late 90s.

I have never found anyone else who remembers it, google doesn't think it exists either, and one of my ex-classmates said she thought one of the teachers might have written it.

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LaMaupindAubigny@reddit

This sounds brilliant, our teachers clearly had more creative talent than they knew what to do with!

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KolymaTales122@reddit

Could you bless us with the lyrics please? I am fascinated

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VictorAnichebend@reddit

I certainly could.

*Mr. Grick is a little green goblin, With bright red eyes and pointy ears, He might look wicked, But have no fear, If you’re in trouble Grick won’t disappear, He’ll make you smile and dry up all your tears,

Bill and Sam are two big bullies who are never up to any good, But all their schemes end in failure exactly in the way that bad schemes should*

There was more but this is all I can remember. Something else about Grick inventing the book of tricks or something. Poetry.

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KolymaTales122@reddit

As beautiful as I imagined. Thanks to you Mr Grick has not been forgotten to time.

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pigsonthewing@reddit

Our headmaster had a dachshund, that accompanied him everywhere.

It was not house-trained...

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Late-Trick1677@reddit

Dachshunds are untrainable I swear

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Sure-Present-3398@reddit

We used to march around the playground in Roman legion formation. I have photographic evidence that we did this on at least 4 separate occasions.

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Late-Trick1677@reddit

We this this too

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Moppo_@reddit

But did you form a testudo?

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Tricky-Reporter-5246@reddit

Testusudueo

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zznznbznnnz@reddit

Kanedaaaaa!

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Teddypinktoes@reddit

My primary school had a substitute teacher who used to come in on a semi regular basis when our elderly class teacher had health problems. His regular job was pig farmer. I still remember holding my breath and leaning away when he came to talk to me at my desk.

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Arylia87@reddit

We spent half a term learning about agriculture, including going and staying on a farm. There were only 4 classes - Reception, Y1+2, Y3+4 and Y5+6. My class had 19 students covering 2 years of the school. Our register was done in order of DoB rather than alphabetically, which I think is a bit weird?? We learnt Swahili! There was a hedge maze at one end of the playing field. The nearby RAF base occasionally ran activity afternoons and did things like teach us how to pack a parachute. The RAF Falcons parachuted onto our school field to open our school fairs.

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Consistent-Theory681@reddit

Our head mistress had a glass eyeball, she was very stern and we were always uncertain who she was telling off.

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WoeUntoThee@reddit

Our school had a ha-ha at the bottom of the school field. It wasn’t even roped off, we were just told not to go near it.

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richuncleskeleton666@reddit

What's a ha-ha?

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WoeUntoThee@reddit

Ours was basically a six-foot drop to the next field. They’re usually to stop sheep etc without spoiling the view.

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littlbutterkitten@reddit

We would sing "Wonderwall" in assembly

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Phenomenomix@reddit

Are you sure you’re old enough to be using the internet unsupervised?

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littlbutterkitten@reddit

I don't know if it makes it weirder that this would have been when it was a pretty new song, sometime in the late 90's

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Iron-Price@reddit

Wonderwall was only.. 31 years ago

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Guinness710@reddit

We had holes in all the sandstone corners of the buildings where kids back in the day would rub their pencils on it to sharpen them.

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Separate_Flight3693@reddit

I went to a school where they didn't teach kids loads of stuff like long multiplication and division, but somehow without private tutoring pretty much every kid that did the 11 or 12+ got into their grammar school of choice.

Years later the headmaster and his entire team are suspended and don't get their jobs back.

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BeanOnAJourney@reddit

The year 5 teacher was a kiddy fiddler and touched mine and my friends' private parts on a residential trip.

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EducationalFig99@reddit

I’m sorry to hear that. I too had a pedo headmaster in the late 70’s.It was common knowledge between (primary school age) pupils and parents, yet he managed to stay in his position for several years until his retirement. I remember some kids just laughing it all off and some utterly traumatised.

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FloofyRaptor@reddit

My Primary school was a Church of England school. Very strict, very religious, forced me to write right handed in the late 80s.

All singing in assembly was hymns with one bizarre exception, we were allowed to sing "Yellow Submarine". I can remember we had a trainee teacher/teaching assistant (I can't remember which she was) and one day who taught us "Frére Jacques" and we were told the following day we were told by our class teacher we weren't allowed to sing it and she never taught us again.

French song about a sleepy monk was verboten but weird song by the Beatles? That's fine!

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SluglineFrogtoe@reddit

Bomb threats

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hocfutuis@reddit

We had those too. I was a child with an overly developed imagination, and anxiety (although who'd heard of that in the 80s?) so would be absolutely petrified every single time.

More wholesome things I remember is there being an incubator full of eggs that hatched into cute baby chickens every spring. There were a few farming families, so they would supply them. We also carded our own wool and attempted to spin it too.

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Narwhal_in_Space@reddit

Our headmaster was really into nature and used to take in animals from the community so we had a hallway full of fish/reptile tanks as you walked in. We also had snakes - still remember the day they escaped in assembly and climbed up the wall-bars. We also had a bit at the top of the school field which was next to the woods and dedicated to nature. We had mini ponds and it was all left to overgrow. We had a hut up there that we used to do some lessons in. We'd dissect owl pellets and look at frogspawn and tiny pond creatures under the microscope. We had beehives and sold school honey. Also the local farm brought their lambs to visit every year so we could feed them! It was pretty amazing to be fair!

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blu3teeth@reddit

Our headmaster didn't believe in separating children into years based on age. Everyone would just be in Reception/Year 1 until they were "ready" to move to Year 2.

The school was tiny so it didn't really matter about class sizes.

Then we got a new Headmistress and she put everyone in classes based on age which messed up a lot of classes. My class had 12 people in it including me (in central London), the class below had 26.

Also we had catchment area of 500m.

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_FirstOfHerName_@reddit

My primary school wasn't a church school, but we had a big mix of songs in assembly that spanned religious, to the Beatles, to songs warning of the dangers of drinking coffee... We also had a hearing impaired base so I was in the singing choir and the signing choir. I think my mum preferred the signing choir shows!

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Gullible-Ad-9288@reddit

We had stick insects

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ariadnevirginia@reddit

My headmaster was a devout Christian and wasn't supposed to mix that with his job, so he just satisfied himself by getting us to sing religious pop songs in choir.

But also, my name is Helen and I developed breasts quite early on, so he called me Helen Melons whenever he saw me.

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Sea_Pomegranate8229@reddit

14 pupils; 5 of them me and siblings.

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SomeWomanFromEngland@reddit

Running around the playing field naked after swimming to get dry. The kids actually loved doing it, we thought it was hilarious, but a lot of parents complained and it was dropped.

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Mackem101@reddit

My primary school head teacher had us singing Beatles songs, and other random pop/rock songs.

Mr Fraser, great bloke.

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FFJamie@reddit

We would sing a load of Beatles songs in assembly.

There was also a massive wooden train we could go in in memory of a child who died in my year group. It was there years after I had left (I think they took it down a few years back)

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Dragon_M4st3r@reddit

We had that Phil Collins song Another Day In Paradise in our repertoire. I was surprised when I grew up and realised it’s not a hymn and in fact is from 1989

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caffeine_lights@reddit

I think we used to do The Streets of London, thinking about it.

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icanhearsheeps@reddit

Streets of London was a regular in our primary assemblies along with let it be and halfway down the stairs on very special occasions we were allowed to sing a song about football where the word goal was shouted at ever increasing volume. My favourite was when a knight won his spurs.

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westy1980@reddit

We all had to make tails in art class, if anyone of us were caught leaning on something, like a wall, the teachers than made us wear the tail for the rest of the day. Because apparently we were animals.

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DeepestShallows@reddit

Oh arbitrary rules of behaviour, how we love thee.

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bandarine@reddit

Okay that's hilarious.

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Batteredsoss@reddit

My mates mum and stepdad had perfect day as their wedding song.

A song about smack for your wedding day seemed an odd choice tbh.

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Honey-Badger@reddit

Its not about smack. Thats just something that some fans decided its about.

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Tequila-Tarn@reddit

Lou Reed himself said this wasn’t about heroin, it was about spending the day in the park with his girlfriend.

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Watsonmolly@reddit

Mine burned down. And for 2 years we had to get two big double decker buses to take us to a nearby secondary school. When it was rebuilt it was properly fantastic. I went back in the last 5 years or so for like weight watchers or something, it’s still fantastic. It’s a beautiful huge old Victorian building. My initals still scratched into the brick on the wall. My daughter was scandalised to see it.

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Honey-Badger@reddit

Collective punishment for boys, if one boy stepped out of line all the boys would have to sit in the classroom and then all the girls would be allowed to go out and play and the boys had to stand at the windows and quietly watch

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LillyAtts@reddit

There were 30 of us in the school, and one year had no kids in it. There was initially one boy in it but they moved him up. So there was a gap.

We were too small to have anything else interesting going on.

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Agitated-Honeydew-41@reddit

We used to sing a really an unusual amount of Westlife songs during assembly? Even had a lot of Westlife songs with Welsh lyrics.

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Tricky_Resort218@reddit

Mine had Vivaldis four seasons every time we came into the hall. Followed by hymns, then A Little Help From My Friends by the Beatles. Then more hymns.

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exhausted-pangolin@reddit

We weren't allowed to run in infant school at playtime. We had to skip. I have no idea why

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tooktherhombus@reddit

That's hilarious

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lilcheese840@reddit

Running’s too dangerous… you’ll break your head open and die - some primary teacher somewhere idk

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insomnimax_99@reddit

That’s also what happens if you rock backwards on your chair

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CNash85@reddit

Our playgrounds were made of solid concrete, if you fell you really could break your head open - I did at least once!

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lilcheese840@reddit

Facts. Came home with plenty scrapes and cuts from playing bulldog, then tracker when they banned it

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Practical-Bread9455@reddit

You just awakened a memory, we were also not allowed to run in infants either! Skipping only!

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insomnimax_99@reddit

My primary school went through a phase where we’d sing abba songs in assembly.

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

That’s quite wholesome really

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welsh_d@reddit

Banned all competative sports incase some kids feeling may get hurt for losing. Sports days were pointless.. lovely woman and teacher otherwise

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douggieball1312@reddit

Whoever organised the music in my primary school assemblies was obsessed with the Heather Small song 'Proud' because it was always played as we were coming in for assembly, in promotional videos for the school, etc. And yep, always before the obligatory hymns.

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LaMaupindAubigny@reddit

We had more than one assembly that opened or ended with this song in high school. We had multiple assemblies on the theme of “what have you done today to make you feel proud?”, including one about Barbara Windsor and her reported friendship with the Kray twins. Apparently she was present when they shot up a pub but said she saw nothing when questioned by the police. The only person who admitted they had witnessed the multiple murders was a barmaid. The teacher asked “who would you rather be: Barbara Windsor or the barmaid?”. Safe to say most of us would have happily been on Eastenders.

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Recessio_@reddit

Our headteacher was also obsessed with that song, and also with sign language, so we had to learn the entire bloody song lyrics in sign language. She also had a singing bowl she would hit where we would then have to spend thirty seconds thinking about what we'd done that day to make us feel proud.

Lovely woman on the whole though, saw her in the park a few years back giving more or less the same assembly to the local rambler's group she now leads.

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richbun@reddit

We used to have a school trip that lasted 2 weeks. When my kids went to primary school parents were freaking out over 2 day night away event! I actually broke my wrist the 2nd night of the two weeks, and was offered to go home, but I refused. Spent a lovely evening with a drunk Glaswegian waiting for our turn for x-ray chatting away about footy.

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hyperstorm@reddit

Four years of my primary school education were spent at a tiny school on an Army base abroad. The British contingent at this post was so small that our "school" was actually a couple of portacabins next to the US military's elementary school (and we used all their facilities like toilets, library, cafeteria). Which is probably enough to doxx me or at least the location if anyone who went there happens to see this! (Unlikely, since the school never had more than 50 pupils in total, usually closer to 30.)

Instead of a class for each year group, we had one for infants and one for juniors, with the English curriculum being followed quite loosely. Which was fantastic for anyone who needed more individualised support but also means that various things were just completely skipped. I know nothing about Saxons and Vikings. Very little of the standard primary school history curriculum in general, actually. I remember doing Romans, Egyptians, Tudors and Victorians. All heavily supplemented by the Horrible Histories books of course.

Our headmistress was a devout Christian who certainly attempted morning assemblies every so often, but the only RE I really remember doing was that month where our teacher made us all a cope of Joseph & The Technicolour Dreamcoat on tape.

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double-happiness@reddit

< 20 pupils

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Crazyh@reddit

We didn't sing hymns at all in primary, we got hits of the 50s/60s. Puff the magic Dragon was a firm favourite of 90% of kids.
In fact the requirement for collective worship with thoroughly ignored in primary, middle and upper school.
The only nod to it was in middle school where once a year a local vicar would come in for assembly, tell us it would be jolly nice if we would consider Jesus for all our future soul saving needs, and hand everyone a mini bible.

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insertitherenow@reddit

Sister Mary used to make the boys wear ribbons in their hair for the day if they were naughty.

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DrDickDinger@reddit

I swear we sung Perfect Day too...

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darybrain@reddit

It was me, being the only non-white student in school. In fact our family where the only non-white family in town for a long time. The school also had a small over ground pool that other local schools didn't have although I was never allowed in it in case I infected the white kids.

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Pristine_Judgment390@reddit

In my primary school in the Thames Valley in the 1960s, all the teachers were Welsh.

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DB-DanCooper@reddit

When I went to another primary school they sang the songs different.

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auntie_climax@reddit

Our biology teacher had a small room off the main classroom, with shelves full of pickled animals, but worse than that a pickled human baby. I don't remember much about the animals, I can remember a rat and a snake but that's about it

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intrepid_wombat@reddit

Oh we would get the option of leftovers for school dinners and depending on the meal there would be cups of gravy available. And also cups of the fun coloured custard. The idea was indeed to drink it.

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GarwayHFDS@reddit

We used to have seperate playgrounds for Boys and Girls.

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WillowCreekWanderer@reddit

Ours was similar, except our hymns were punctuated by Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind

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notThaTblondie@reddit

Our headmaster used to read up stories about a little fish who was was always getting in to stuff he shouldn't be, with some deep moral lesson that consistently flew over my head.

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Reasonable_Chart1424@reddit

We used to sing at half past 3 we go home for tea.

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thehoneybadger1223@reddit

We sang Jesus Bangers but then there were other songs, a list of others we sang:

Swing Low, Sweet chariot ?

I'm gonna Sing ?

Let it be (by the beatles)

Half the World Away (Oasis)

Lean on Me (bill withers)

Three little birds (Bob Marley)

Easy (the commodores)

Stand by me (Oasis)

9 to 5 (Dolly Parton)

Green Door (Shakin Stevens)

I got life (Nina Simone)

There are probably more but I don't remember them all.

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catninjaambush@reddit

Our teacher who was an alcoholic would make us do projects whilst he suffered with a hangover on guns (for the boys) and for the girls ‘horses or flowers or something like that’. We watched Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in the assembly hall though so that was good.

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ughokayy@reddit

In year 5, we did a project where we had one of those caterpillar tent things in our classroom, learning about metamorphosis from them to butterflies. Plan was they'd grow up, and then once they turned into butterflies we'd release them and it'd be nice and wonderful.

The day comes, and our entire class buzzes with excitement to watch these butterflies fly out the window into the courtyard. The window opens, they fly out. They fly down to the ground - we're all thinking this is cool as hell. And then we, a class of 30, watch horrified as the chickens in the courtyard devour them immediately.

After I left the school got rabbits for the courtyard in a hutch. Except they didn't properly sex them. You can imagine how that turned out for the school lmao.

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bopeepsheep@reddit

We had an owl. And a teacher who taught us where the Falklands are, in 1980. And a bus painted like a haunted house.

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emma_sometimes@reddit

We had a similar thing at my primary school. Hymns then one of our teachers would get up with his guitar and we would do Bob Dylan songs!

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TeamOfPups@reddit

My headmaster liked to change up the verses for the Christian bangers. His favourite:

Tha-a-ank you Lord for this new day Tha-a-ank you Lord for this new day Tha-a-ank you Lord for this new day Right where we are

Then he'd have us sing

Tha-a-ank you Lord for LFC Tha-a-ank you Lord for LFC Tha-a-ank you Lord for LFC Right where we are

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LilacRose32@reddit

We didn’t sing hymns at all in my late nineties state primary. Not sure why in hindsight but glad we didn’t. We still had singing, just nothing religious except at Christmas.

We didn’t wear uniforms either; though they started a few years after I left.

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Moppo_@reddit

I would've loved to swap. We didn't sing actual hymns, but were clearly religious songs. Either way, they always gave me a weird vibe I didn't like.

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douggieball1312@reddit

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands always did this for me. Even more so after watching Con Air.

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Atarisrocks@reddit

We used to all walk into assembly to Perfect Day soist have been a ideal primary school song.

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JBSven@reddit

Our primary school placed a big value on real life mathematics.

We learnt how to handle money and earned plastic pennies for doing class chores which could be spent on different rewards.

However - someone decided one day to try and use these plastic 20 pence and 10 pence pieces to the cafeteria and paid for toast with them.

The dinner ladies were so quick to get through the queues they never noticed. Or cared to. Hands were buttery and didn't realise maybe the coins weren't real.

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RodJaneandFreddy5@reddit

When my big sister first went to junior school she thought it was brilliant because they sang pop songs at assembly. Cat Stevens was in the charts with Morning Had Broken at the time.

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Menyana@reddit

The headmaster had hand puppets he used to keep assembly interesting: a fox, a badger and a hedgehog.

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idfk-bro123@reddit

Every student was brought to the hall every morning. On Fridays, we would all have to sing hymns. I thought that was normal for primary schools. Not that I agree with it.

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Joober81@reddit

I saw my dinner lady’s dick when I went to the toilet once. That struck me as odd.

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ringerrosy@reddit

Was it spotted dick?

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kylehyde84@reddit

Wait. What?

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alyaaz@reddit

We didn't sing many hymns in primary. We did a lot of 70s and 80s music. The weirdest were House of the Rising Sun and Mad World

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Bizsh@reddit

My favourite teacher would have us sing 'Sloop John B' by the Beach Boys, 'Lily the Pink' by The Scaffold and 'When I'm 64' by The Beatles in assemblies. He would also read us 'Chocolate Cake' by Michael Rosen just before lunch time. He would put so much effort into it and we would be desperate for lunch after hearing it. When I went to university, he ended up being my lecturer. He was a legend.

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Express-Training5428@reddit

Standard C of E junior school had outdoor bogs and an outdoor heated swimming pool. Great fun swimming through drowned daddy long legs and wasps.

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unbelievablydull82@reddit

We had a caretaker who lived on site with two alsatians, who would follow him around the school as he worked. One night one of the Alsatians jumped the wall and attacked a passerby, that was the end of the caretaker being allowed to let his dogs around the kids

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mynameisjodie@reddit

ha okay we have a few our narcasist assebly teacher would make us do hymms and we also did

when i'm 64

food glorious food

what have you done for me (m people)

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