does anyone in our generation enjoy managing people?

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Jerkrollatex@reddit

I love teaching. I hate telling people what to do.

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I hate management but sometimes I am forced to. For example training new employees and leading teams. I am on a project with just one senior person right now and loving it because we do our jobs and leave. I hate when someone is relying on me for guidance. This is the reason I choose not to have offspring. So yeah, I don't need young ones picking my brain and stealing my energy.

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UnderH20giraffe@reddit

I hate it and it has hurt me a lot in life. I just don’t feel comfortable with it.

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grimacelovesmusic@reddit

I always like to say, management would be great if it weren’t for all the people…

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Miami_Mice2087@reddit

that's how i feel about a lot of jobs. retail would be great if not for the customers

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grimacelovesmusic@reddit

😂😂

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frosty-the-snooman@reddit

I took 5 years to be a manager. Like you, I was really good at it... unlike you, it completely destroyed me. After a brief stint in the mental hospital and some LOA, I was luckily able to rejoin the team as an IC. I'm healing now but it's sometimes not enough to be good at something, have that skill needed, and be paid well for it. Sometimes we need to have positive passion for our missions instead of feelings of indifference or worse. Trauma builds and releases in weird and interesting ways.

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1_art_please@reddit

Management made me realize that I hate making others take accountability for company stuff I also privately think of as bullshit. And I loathe being stuck between someone I manage and the higher ups at my company, it gives me huge anxiety. I grew up with a difficult mother who would put me between herself and others and that same anxiety came back, but now im 46 and now its the company that controls my way to have a life.

I burned out twice due to overwork through failing businesses that needed me to be an individual contributor AND people manager at the same time. Absolutely hated it.

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ShootinTheBreez@reddit

I identified with this post a lot. I don’t think it’s that I hated management, it’s that I hated middle management. The being stuck in the middle and having to push things you yourself think are bullshit… I also got very burnt out with that.

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1_art_please@reddit

Am glad I am not the only one! What did you do after burning out? How did you repair your relationship with work?

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

This is so real. My entire everything broke after a high stress career in government (not politics) and i've never been the same. i left after 8 years because the money, retirement, benefits, etc. were not worth my health or my peace. And, you're right, the trauma and healing takes a meandering path.

i don't know you but i wish you continued healing, peace, joy, and comfort 💜

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

Yeah, I guess that's why I feel terrified -- that it will completely destroy me. My wife doesn't know what to do about this coinciding with whatever midlife crisis might be occurring. I'm glad you're getting healing and pursing your passion.

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UrbanSurfDragon@reddit

Have you thought about a career pivot instead of starting over? You might find you have built valuable skills that could transfer into a field you feel more passionate about or that makes you feel you are contributing to a cause you care about. That was what made the difference for me. Finding something better than some Smug rich dudes bottom line may make a world of difference. Or maybe find a rich dude who’s a little less smug. It sounds like you’re good at what you do, and AI can’t manage people so you certainly have options you may not have explored yet.

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Cephalopod_Dropbear@reddit

After reading this, I was questioning whether I wrote this in my sleep because it sounds just like me. I am really good at finding great people and training them to do their job. I am really bad at being an asshole, but I don’t find myself needing to be an asshole because I get good people to work for me and just remove people that aren’t great and don’t work. I don’t scream and yell. I don’t use fancy corporate speak. I don’t follow brain dead corporate training books on how to manage people. I just do my job and do it pretty damn well. And I find it so frustrating because I see less-qualified people move up because they talk like robots and lie to their bosses.

I don’t really have any advice for you. Just thought you’d like to know there are others like you. We’re awesome, have deal with bullshit, and get overlooked because we aren’t assholes.

Oh well…hugs your way! Keep kicking ass!

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

I appreciate the camaraderie! Best to you as well!

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JudgeJuryEx78@reddit

I thoroughly enjoy it. I'm in a career I love, and enjoy mentoring people, and the day to day making sure a field project goes smoothly and everyone is safe.

I think I'm a natural leader though. In MY field, it's almost impossible to move up the ranks if you don't lead field crews, and I think there should be another path for people who contribute strongly in other ways but don't want to play boss.

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Spartan04@reddit

I was a manager for about 8 years since at the time going into management was the next logical promotion available to me. It wasn’t awful but it wasn’t great either. I hated having to be the bad guy sometimes when it came to disciplining people and writing performance reviews deserves a special place in hell. And I’ll admit I’m not the best at managing either since while I don’t micromanage I also had trouble sometimes delegating vs just doing it myself.

After 8 years we had a reorganization and I was laterally moved into a non management role that was at a similar level. I’ll admit it did feel a bit like a bad thing at first but after a bit I realized it was a blessing in disguise. I have no plans to ever go into management again, it’s just not what I’m suited for.

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Miami_Mice2087@reddit

i don't mind teaching or directing people, i'm good at training people, but i don't want to deal with metrics and reporting and giving a shit if people do their jobs right. so i've avoided management.

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fwast@reddit

I effing hate it. I liked my life until I started being a manager

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zignut66@reddit

Like you, I enjoy teaching people but do not enjoy managing them. And if I were you, if my company added an hour to my commute with an unwelcome relocation with no increase in salary, I’d be looking at other employment options. Best of luck!

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SlackerDS5@reddit

I’m close to hitting a year as a new manager. It’s tough some days, some days it’s not. I enjoy it for the most part because I get to be the supervisor I never had, within reason. I get to help people grow and mature. I get to use my background in psychology and sociology to help others, even through that is not my primary job.

I don’t like the discipline part of the job, but I like being able to see people thrive in my office, even during tough times and bad days. Plus most of my staff are young, so they keep me young at heart, so I enjoy that as well. Much better than some crusty 40-60 year old that is jaded. - no offense to the crusty crunchy types out there.

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UsefulGrocery1733@reddit

I do.

I’ve had a lot of new grad staff over the last 5 years. It’s been fun mentoring and getting them to spread their wings and fly outside the practice. We still keep in touch after and always there for advice both work and non work life.

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humanist-misanthrope@reddit

I have a had one role as a manager and I look back on that period as the worst of my professional life. Like OP I too enjoy training people and developing new systems, especially those that make it better for the worker regardless if it makes more money for the company. During that role I spent a lot of my time focusing on smoothing out the bottlenecks that caused my team the most stress. Fixing those made a lot of people happy but my leadership disliked my approach. Ultimately I had a falling out with my boss and was removed from my role. A few months later I got asked to show the new manager what I was doing because the bottlenecks returned and the workers were stressed and less productive. I did what I could, but after that role I decided I would never take another manager role.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

I've feel like my greatest asset has been shielding my team from company BS by being innovative enough to get better results. Ironically, the thing I'm doing for myself and my team is actually making the company more money, but I'm resented because my streamlined approach is at odds with their preferred style of management and how they desire to manage me. So their solution is to reorganize to fix another team with the methods they resent, while refusing to acknowledge its value to the company as a whole. That's probably what's pissing me off the most.

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bashturd@reddit

Hell fucking no. I managed people for 8 years, it was soul crushing. Especially when I was tasked with cutting someone, that shit sucked so bad.

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Otherwise_Piglet_862@reddit

I quite enjoy managing ICs. I loath managing leadership/managing up.

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thatotherguy57@reddit

I'm back in a leadership role after a four year hiatus. I've never been a manager, but my current job is more manager than supervisor, despite the supervisor title. Part of me really regrets applying for, and accepting, the promotion. My team is too independent. Independence in my job is good, but everyone being exceedingly independent means it's harder when projects require more than two people.

But, I prefer the work stress to the home stress. I care take for my grandmother, and she stresses me out to the point that I am now on anti-anxiety medication and struggle to sleep more than four or five hours a night.

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KS-G441@reddit

I work in construction and back when I was an apprentice I had this old foreman who, looking back, was always giving good bits of advice. The topic of being a foreman, GF, super came up one day and he hit me with this gem. I quote, “I got tired of working for dumb fuckers, so I decided to become the dumb fucker.” That always stuck with me as I rose through the ranks. I am currently a manager in a metal fabrication shop with 65-70 crew members under my watch. It is stressful at times, but the benefits far outweigh any negatives. For one, I’m taking care of my body by not being in a ditch or going through a jobsite, and the pay is much better. Although I do sometimes look back and wonder what having a job with no responsibilities would be like. But, I would struggle working for one of those so called dumb fuckers since I can’t stand micro management.

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Maleficent-Box4114@reddit

I never wanted to be a manager, honestly. I prefer to do things myself instead of delegating. That being said, they just keep making me a manager no matter where I go! I currently manage a bunch of teenagers and boy does that make me feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve been trying to get out of retail/food service forever and somehow keep getting sucked in. I’m getting to old for this!

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Wonderful_Charity411@reddit

It’s more of a 1930’s 1940’s Germany vibe

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ravenpen@reddit

I’ve worked in IT support for a public high school for going on twenty-five years now. In that time I’ve taken on the job duties of three different people who either quit or were let go.

I have a great supervisor and department director who both value my work there. The job itself has become much more challenging and interesting over the years. The only problem is the money. My salary has been stagnant essentially since I started there. We get cost of living increases, but those don’t even keep up with the rate of inflation, meaning that I’m effectively losing money every year I stay.

Both my supervisor and department director have gone to H.R. to ask that I be reclassified into an appropriate role that reflects the work I’m doing and that I receive a salary raise commensurate with this.

H.R. has, not surprisingly, given numerous excuses over why they can’t do this. One issue is that it’s a union position, meaning that changing it for me would then change it for everyone else who does that job going forward.

The other reason is likely that they simply don’t have to. I can choose to leave and work somewhere else, or apply for a different position at the school. Forget the fact that anyone they hired to replace me would have to be paid more by default since no one would willingly do the amount of work I do in 2026 for what I currently make. My supervisor and director have both said as much to me and talked about what a nightmare training a new person would be.

All this to say, that the main reason I haven’t advanced is because all opportunities to do so would require me to become a manager or administrator of some kind, and the truth is that I think I’d be terrible at it. Even if someone was a crummy employee, I don’t think I’d be able to fire or even discipline them. The entire idea of it makes me incredibly anxious and uncomfortable.

So here I am, a disabled dude approaching 50 working the same job for half my life and knowing I’ll never be able to afford retirement even with my pension and social security. Should’ve left decades ago, but lack of self esteem and some random life stuff kept me clinging to what I know.

Thank you for listening to my shitty depressing TED Talk.

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PoisonMind@reddit

No, I have actively avoided management for my entire career. I am happy being a technician, and the extra money isn't worth it.

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bfume@reddit

I have managed smallish teams. 11 was the biggest. And I had full autonomy over it—was a small company in size (but absolutely hugely profitable, maybe that’s why it was so chill).

Today I manage one other person my boss manages 2 and reports to the CEO

Love every minute of it.

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PREClOUS_R0Y@reddit

Managing people sucks. I worked in retail and service for like 20 years before I got out, and every place I went would promote me. I like money, of course, so I always said yes.

I am super relaxed. Show up on time, do some work, and leave, and you are on my good list.

My issue was ownership and higher management getting involved. Telling me to call people on their days off to force them to work. Demanding I hire a full staff while we are on a massive commercial strip of road where every other place pays more than us, demanding that I ask people why they are calling out, etc.

If you pay less than everyone, you end up having to learn to work with the people who take those jobs. This is where I always shone. We would get local bangers, ne'er-do-wells, and what have you. Learning how to earn their respect can lead to awesome results.

Anyway, love the people and hate the meddling from above. Firing people also makes me sick to my stomach. I left for a degree in history and literature after I couldn't take my personal phone ringing off the hook when I actually had time off.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

I feel this a lot. One of my ne'er-do-wells will never do more than he currently does, but he never calls out and always shows up on time. He's willing to work shifts that nobody else wants.

He also respects me and will do what I ask of him with the expected sass. Never more, but it's satisfying to see. That's the stuff I've been trying to hold on to for fulfillment, because I have a feeling he wouldn't be appreciated for his strengths in most settings.

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KiniShakenBake@reddit

Damn. Never calling out, taking the shifts nobody wants, doing his job with competence and generally friendly (doing what's expected with sass sounds amazing, honestly)...

That is absolute gold star material. I love that. What a ROCK!

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

Yeah, it’s crazy to me what a lot of leads find to criticize. A couple of my manager trainees have been put off by his demeanor, and I’ve asked them if they’re prepared to run the department with the alternative: charismatic, lazy, and unreliable.

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DefiantThroat@reddit

Far too many leaders grade on style instead of substance.

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PREClOUS_R0Y@reddit

he never calls out and always shows up on time. He's willing to work shifts that nobody else wants.

Literally employee of the month material.

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joshhupp@reddit

This is exactly it. Managing people, training people, fine. But having to answer to upper management and have then make your abuse your workforce? Soul sucking. I never want to do that again.

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PREClOUS_R0Y@reddit

You can only "sorry, but the boss said..." so many times before a mutiny if upper management sucks. At some point, you will catch the ire of a swarthy crew. I have had many ups and downs.

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KiniShakenBake@reddit

YES!!!!! It drives me bananas when people say "Oh! You need more staff!" Yes. Yes I do. And also, I can't seem to find the people who are willing to work for the wages being offered with the skills demanded for the wage. That disconnect in upper management is REAL.

My husband just turned down an offer for a job that was actually a CTO position, being marketed as a Senior Engineer position, and paid like a mid-level contributor position with less than half of his actual time in seat experience. They had no idea they were so woefully disconnected between what they wanted and what they were paying. Oh. And he'd have to commute an hour and a half each way, each day, to a spot that doesn't have great transit access. No. Thank you.

The people with the skills today are US. And we can and will bring them to bear but we are quite done being abused by the institutions, people, and attitudes that led to us being simultaneously one of the most disadvantaged and maligned generations in recent memory, all as we tried ridiculously hard to make our way into the world that we did everything to meet all along - and kept screwing us time and again.

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mcsweetin@reddit

I used to manage people. My current role I'm an independent contributor and to be honest it's way better.

I get pretty annoyed with people the older I get and I want nothing more than to be left alone. My wife is a therapist and I have no idea how she does it.

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Phyzzx@reddit

I have avoided mgmt for at least 10 years.

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Daniel_Molloy@reddit

The problem is it’s just getting worse. I’ve been in management for over 20 years. Once upon a time, we had “enough” help to actually get things done. Now you’re running a skeleton crew and shuffling deck chairs to manage the chaos.

I love working with people. I love making people happy. I don’t love the constant fires that are mainly created by our own (the corporate overlords) hands.

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Moist_Rule9623@reddit

I’m resistant to actually joining the “management structure” of my organization. Right now I am on almost all days the senior worker on my team, so I do my best to act as a team leader and make it so that actual management can have minimal to no involvement in how we run minute by minute.

I do NOT think I would enjoy actually being a manager, but I may yet do it purely for the money (we have a “pension” which is based on your highest paid 3 years in your career, so strategically it may be my best move to end my career with about 3-4 years as a low level supervisor); it’s an option that’s there but I’m just not sure if it’s worth it

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thetrappster@reddit

I did it for a little over a year. Hated it. Took a lower position to get out of it. I didn't struggle through years of science-based education in college to approve timesheets, host weekly check-ins with a dozen employees, and babysit poor performing team members.

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thecurriemaster@reddit

As the CEO of my company, it is my job to manage people. I don't particularly enjoy it.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

That’s inevitably where I got to with my last team, as I grew the confidence of and retained the solid employees while hiring around them over time. It makes a world of difference. I wish my supervisors viewed things through the same lens.

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anonymoususer98545@reddit

i have always, somehow, found myself the "leader" or default "go to" in every job i've ever had from the time i started working. That led to me being put in management roles in all career paths i've pursued and i hated it.

i am still in a leadership/managerial role now but my husband and i run our own business so we answer to each other rather than a board of directors, officials, etc. like i'd been used to and it's 1,000 times more peaceful and stressful at the same time, lol.

So, the answer is: no, i have never enjoyed it but apparently it enjoys me and i don't see that ever changing.

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nadthevlad@reddit

10% raise for 10x responsibility

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Silly_Scientist_007@reddit

First off, I am fairly confident your company can't just up & move you on a whim without your approval or any type of prior conversation. Your contract is typically tied to a specific location, and for them to deviate from that would be a breach of that contract.

Second, despite having never been (directly) in a position of management I have still found myself constantly managing the teams I'm a part of because of absent leadership, and lack of clear directives. Like you, I do in fact enjoy training people but I'm at a point in my career where I'm done doing it for nothing. I do it begrudgingly because I know I am a calm, thorough, and communicative mentor/trainer, and the team is better off overall if I step-up and fall on that grenade. However, what I've described & what I've been a part of are VERY dysfunctional and toxic teams or organizations.

So, it's not the training that burns me out but the lack of acknowledging how much I literally hold teams together without the proper compensation. The wrong people get promoted at bad companies, but if you're lucky you could end up on a team with a good manager which can make all the difference.

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ElPeroTonteria@reddit

Idk how to relate from an office life perspective…

I can offer that I’m not a manager. I’m a great informal leader but have zero goals of being charge. I hate being in charge… but I also don’t want -nor need really- a manager…

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Comfortable-nerve78@reddit

I’m as they say ANTISOCIAL. So no people suck.

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thundermuse@reddit

It's the only part of my job I don't enjoy. I do genuinely enjoy training people, fixing problems with workflow, and helping others succeed, but the rest of it is stressful and draining. I'm good at it though, to the point where my higher ups transfer "problem" employees to my department because they know I'll find a way to make them successful. I ignore most leadership and management advice though and very much do things my way.

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tifumostdays@reddit

Did they even offer a raise for the inconvenience?

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

No. They’re dangling the carrot of it leading to advancement, but it’s wasn’t optional and there are zero promises or specifics.

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tifumostdays@reddit

Is there a gentle way you could imply that with no actual agreement or plan for advancement, that this is such a downgrade for your good performance that you're looking at moving on?

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ProsodyProgressive@reddit

I’m a manager and my answer is no! But I need the pay and I have far too many opinions to not be in the role.🤷

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absentlyric@reddit

It comes down to your team, and the workplace environment. When I had to manage a team of Toolmakers to get a big project done, it wasn't bad because everyone was on the same page and wanted the same goals; to produce a quality part so we can get more work contracts, when everyone is hungry and ambitious, its fun to manage, because I like to have their backs.

I know they are doing their best, so I will shield them from upper management to do my best to protect them.

On the other hand, if you are in a toxic work environment where the workers are doing the bare minimum, then it sucks ass.

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NeckPourConnoisseur@reddit

If your quality of life is being affected negatively by an extended commute, that you didn't ask for (that piece is important), you need to put your foot down on a pay increase.

Have the discussion with your manager tomorrow and insist that you will take on this assignment with an X% raise, and the pay must start the day you start this new role.

They'll do it.

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tavikravenfrost@reddit

I hate being a manager. The nature of my work has been mostly solo, but there were a few stints of managing people.

Direct leadership is not something that interests me, and I know that I lack the kind of toe-the-company-line charisma that pushes you into leadership in a corporate world. I'm not interested in being in the spotlight. What I'm really good at is being behind the scenes and helping leadership to not fuck up. I can offer data, advice, recommendations, critiques, and blunt criticism. I can read the room and whisper in the leader's ear, "You're fucking up right now. Change course." I can look at policies, procedures, and practices and find deficiencies, including legal and ethical breaches, and I can identify opportunities for things that the organization could be doing. The frustrating part about being that person is that leadership doesn't always listen because they too often think that they know better. There have been too many times where a leader came back to me later, after intially not listening to me, and said, "Hey, you were right about that thing." Sure, there are some leaders who know what they're doing and do it well, but many of them are in those leadership roles simply because they talk a good game, not because they're especially competent.

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Ishvale@reddit

I've avoided management my entire career. Well, except Hardees, but that doesn't count

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RockysDetail@reddit

That's a no preceded by a hell. In every job I've had, the primary undercurrent was people trying to pawn their work off on others. Who would want to manage these boobs?

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lizshi@reddit

I have been doing it now for 5 yrs in healthcare and the hardest part is managing people. Behavior issues are what get me. The work is manageable, the people. Smh!!! The many times I hear, I didn’t know is ridiculous. I am always repeating myself, going through the same policies over and over.

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GuttedFlower@reddit

It destroyed my ex husband and then he destroyed our relationship. The further up he went in management, the more he lost who he was and he turned into a nightmare. If you can keep your work and home life separate, you'd probably be okay, but it was really sad the way I saw it all go down for us.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

I’m sorry that you went through that.

This is probably my greatest fear, and I already know that I operate as a singular person that has difficulty separating my work from who I am. I don’t think my wife sees the natural progression as such a severe outcome, but I’m aware of how bad it could get if I don’t get out of this.

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GuttedFlower@reddit

Thanks, stranger.

I think it's a good sign that you at least recognize what could go wrong. I wish I could tell you how to avoid it. I can tell you that it went downhill really fast when he stopped talking to me about work. I'm not even sure why he stopped talking to me about it. It was like he suddenly thought he knew everything and needed to micromanage me. We went to marriage counseling and it didn't help. I begged him to recognize what was happening and he refused. To this day he's very bitter that I left him but he left me no choice because he was becoming increasingly abusive. I hope you can work through it better than we did.

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Turbulent-Pea-8826@reddit

Jesus Christ no. I hate when people hate me, I hate people sucking up to me and I hate disciplining people.

Why TF adults can’t do just the most basic part of their job baffles me. When I have been a manager often people just needed to fucking show up on time and they couldn’t even do that. Close a ticket every once in a while would have been nice.

Also, most of the time I was half a manager. Like I couldn’t decide who I hired. I was just given shitty contractors and told to deal with them. I couldn’t fire them either although I could document what they fucked up and they were often fired. But I still got hassled for what they fucked up. I also had no budgetary powers so I couldn’t even add that bullet point to my resume.

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The-Great-Mullein@reddit

I fucking hate it. Am starting to look for new job to get away from over a decade of doing. I did have the opportunity to move higher up the ladder but didn't take because I realized it would more BS.

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phoenix0r@reddit

I really wanted to be a people manager for a while because I thought I could genuinely help people in their careers. My managers were always very hesitant because I’m an AuDHD woman, which is generally less than well received and especially so by men, and my industry was mostly men. Basically, my soft skills suck. When I was finally offered a team manager role, it was overseeing two cranky vets that had been there longer than me, and in a domain I hadn’t worked in for 5 years. Basically they gave me a shit sandwich “promotion”. I ended up turning it down. Upon deeper reflection, I finally realized that I would actually hate being a manager and it would have been terrible for my personality and my mental health.

That said, I ended up burning out as an IC anyway and now at 41 I’m working on changing careers. It’s daunting and I’d only recommend it if you’ve basically retired and are independently wealthy for at least the next 5-10 years. I have to go back to school and get a Master’s degree and start off as a volunteer in my new field to get my foot in the door. Quite the humble pie after making GOBS of money in my old industry, but I think it’s worth it. I really like being in the weeds and being an IC anyway, so starting at the bottom again has actually been quite satisfying in a lot of ways. Much less politics here!

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OkGeologist2229@reddit

No!! Both years I had to manage kids in their mid-20s and itnwas a nightmarw. They were spoiled and refused to do work the way the company says we have to and botg could not ever make it to work on time. No apologies no text messages as a heads up. I hated having to remind them about rules and procedures and they hated me for reminding them. One actually complained to the boss because I didn't eat lunch with the group. Never again will I manage anyone for any reason.

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Double_Cicada@reddit

I do, it's cool to see people improve and grow. Help people deal with problems at work in the way that you wished your boss would've done for you. I also have student workers who are masters students and managing them is extremely rewarding because you're helping them jumpstart their career

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cellrdoor2@reddit

Definitely this. I work in theatre and am regularly expected to coordinate with a small team of people to create the set. I used to kind of dread it because I held people to really high standards and wasn’t very flexible. Now that I’m older and more chill/experienced I enjoy working as a team and helping people if they don’t have the skill set needed. It’s really important to appreciate other people and help to lift them up when you can.

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Double_Cicada@reddit

Exactly, my job is to create an environment where my people can perform at their best and help them along the way. There are definitely parts that suck about that but that's basically every job no matter what

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NoiseTherapy@reddit

Look, the fact that you’re asking the way you’re asking is a sign that you belong where you are. You’re authentic and you won’t embrace any kind of detachment being asked of you. Your team appreciates you more than you may realize.

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babyBear83@reddit

I’ve found that I would turn down management roles but I don’t mind managing a project and am good at that. I couldn’t do the managing other peoples time part of a regular manager. I have to do things I enjoy or I can’t focus on them. I have push for the tasks I thrive at with my job. I work a clinical job but it’s outpatient cardiac rehab and there is a lot of customer service that goes into it.

Otherwise, this might seem irrelevant, but when I worked teaching swimming in the past (I’m an exercise physiologist btw) I was provided a style of teaching and was supposed to do it their way. But I had my own system and it was WAY more effective than the corporate way. So, my boss could see I was the most popular teacher and making everyone happy so she looked the other way and let me do my thing. As long as it gets results you want, why interrupt you doing what works? I would be gently pushing for that wiggle room to “elaborate” on the corporate models.

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KiniShakenBake@reddit

Hear, here.

I am a teacher. I manage students in a classroom setting, on a regular basis, 30 of them - and I can usually get them to do what their regular teacher wanted them to do with a little bit of back and forth boundary-testing kinda stuff, but all normal.

I am also a business owner and manager of a business that has 2.5 employees. In theory, I manage them. In reality, they manage themselves and the business so that the business can stay functioning. When it is off the ground, the business will return some profit to me and the team that manages themselves and the business will retain the lions share of the profit it generates in the form of bonuses and salary and benefits and whatever else they want. It should be fabulously good for them, and for me, since I don't actually have to do much except give them the room to run and the business model to do it in. They truly operate on a self-governing model.

As for me? I spend four days of my week that I am not teaching doing additional work on a third element of my buisiness, on a separate set of contracts and licenses, that I maintain separate from the OTHER TWO sets I maintain for the other two roles.

If my team didn't manage themselves, and when the students I teach can't be bothered to manage their own behaviour effectively once they realize that I do expect and hold that expectation for them, I don't think I would keep up with the problem one. I don't want to be a manager. I don't want to manage folks and do performance management. I will set up a space with ample room to succeed and fail, but I am not at all interested in fine-tuning the performance of people who don't want to be there, don't exercise critical thinking skills, and have no personal thoughts about the work they are doing and how it very intentionally has to fit with the structure we are all working in. No interest at all - These are adults.

I'll do it with kids, because they are learning. But adults? You need to have that figured out and get it done. I'm not here to babysit adults and pay them while I do it.

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unobtaniumforsale@reddit

I'll be 48 in a few months and I will never supervise fuckbois again. I'm a woman working in the same male heavy technical field for over 25 years. And I've been the boss lady a couple of times. I cared about my employees and tried hard to take care of them. But I left those jobs, not because I was bad at it. But because I felt unsafe. The first time was because of a very angry boss who could not control himself. The last time was because of a shitty employee who made up some easily refutable lies about me and sent them to the ethics hotline of the company. There was an investigation, I was cleared, but I was not ok. Nobody had ever tried to hurt my career on purpose before just because he could. I was just super lucky I had detailed logs that showed he was lying. I found another job during the investigation and left just as it was wrapping up. My boss was upset that I was still leaving even when the allegations were proven false. I told him it would be impossible for me to continue being in charge of him because when I write his annual review and I'm honest about how shitty he is, it will just look like retaliation. So it's better for everybody if I leave. I will never be a supervisor again in this field. I don't care if I end up with a boss the same age as my kid.

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ctrl_f_sauce@reddit

It’s too much. You can’t worry about the mission statement, and training, and other people’s work/life balance, and filling in where needed.

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ndwgg@reddit

Yes

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BlackLioConvoy@reddit

Im a production supervisor. I do enjoy leading and taking charge. I always had leadership traits deep down and the last 4 years I've been able to manifest that into a career.

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C-A-L-E-V-I-S@reddit

Man, sounds like you’re a great lead and that sucks you were “rewarded” with a worse situation. I’m dealing with a similar situation at my job with 8 people leaving in two months because higher ups are trying to get blood from a stone. Keep in mind these changes started AFTER we were reviewed as the best in our field a couple years ago. So, naturally instead of bringing people up from the inside who achieved that, they brought in an outside guy who is leading just like those guys complain about and SURPRISE everyone is leaving. But of course no one realizes that guy is the reason. It’s a shame. My only advice is keep your money coming in while actively looking elsewhere. It seems to be nowadays moving companies is the best way to increase your pay.

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burnitdwn@reddit

My little sister was born in 82 and she is an engineer and a people manager. She loves managing her team. They are all high performers and she and them all get along great.

I don't want to manage people. I'm too introverted and too ADHD with bad executive function. My manager at work was born in the late 70s and she is frickin awesome. She seems to like managing the team, but she gets pulled in to tons of useless meetings.

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59apache01@reddit

I have a low tolerance for stupidity, so no. At least in my case.

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VividAd7961@reddit

I hate it I did it twice 1 year, I hate corporate people management it sucks balls

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Reasons_2resist@reddit

I was being squeezed by my boss to implement all the bullshit of newer systems and kpi’s etc. My team is small and are good at their jobs (hospitality). We all felt unappreciated, especially since what was trying to be implemented was not the direction to go for us or to improve our guest’s experience. Our boss wasn’t around for the days to day. I tried to tell him and throw out other suggestions and it didn’t work. Through a few turn of events, I ended up buying the business. Now, a year later, we are doing better than ever, staff is happier (and making more $) and I do very little managing of people. Our old boss keeps wanting to come in and help me setup systems etc. My team is like, “oh please god no. Don’t let her near this place”

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Ok_Industry3016@reddit

Depends on the team can suck ass though. Like babysitting adults.

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espressocycle@reddit

Absolutely not.

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NukeTheEwoks@reddit

These replies are interesting. I guess it's different from industry to industry.

I was never one to want to be in management, but a former boss pressed me to apply for an open position.

I got the role, got to hire my team, and was helping coordinate the launch of a new product. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my career...

... Until my company put all innovation projects "on hold".

I went back to individual contributor (it was that or quit), and now I'm more unhappy than I've ever been in this company.

Unfortunately, the job market is not great, and I actually like the company I work for (plus they pay well), so I guess I'm just holding out on an open management position again...

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fakesaucisse@reddit

I was a manager for exactly one year and hated it. I was still expected to do IC work as well as managing a team so it was two full time jobs and I couldn't do them both well at the same time. If I had just been a manager without an IC workload I would have enjoyed it.

It sounds like you mainly don't like being a manager at your current company because of how they define management and leadership behaviors. You might like it more at a company with a different culture and management philosophy, but also, I get that right now is not a great time to look for another job.

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Striking-Access-236@reddit

I try to let my team manage themselves... Goes surprisingly well and allows me to focus more on the strategic side of the job.

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piscian19@reddit

For most of my life my bosses have always tried to drag me into a leadership role. Theres a misconception that because Im fairly even tempered, good at mentoring people and planning projects and roadmaps that I would be a good leader.

In the DiSC assessment Im a hard S for support and in MB Im INFP-T.

The thing is Im not interested in leadership, I just want to get things done so I can go back to fucking around. If that means authoring an epic, mentoring someone to do the project and then helping guide, or do the work myself I don't really care. As long as it gets done so I can go back to playing videogames.

My SVP was showing me capx and roi scales and graphs and then my face melted and my eyes fell out like he opened the Ark of the Covenant and I died. F-thar noise.

(I'm a sort of network solution architect. I work with hardware/software vendors and chip manufacturers to make special function tech.)

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trustme1maDR@reddit

"My SVP was showing me capx and roi scales and graphs and then my face melted and my eyes fell out like he opened the Ark of the Covenant and I died. F-that noise."

This made me cackle.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

“Theres a misconception that because Im fairly even tempered, good at mentoring people and planning projects and roadmaps that I would be a good leader.

In the DiSC assessment Im a hard S for support and in MB Im INFP-T.”

ENFP, with a very soft towards-the-middle E, so everything you say tracks. I think they confuse the ability to perceive solutions and think outside of the box as leadership material, when we’re just doing what our brains do intuitively to get along with people and get stuff done.

They even suggested because of my temperament that I could transition easily to HR. I laughed and told them that it would absolutely destroy me.

My greatest motivation for doing well is getting the job done so I can afford to be myself and relax.

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trustme1maDR@reddit

I have been avoiding management roles for years. I have had 1 direct report in my life. She was the perfect employee, and I was a nervous wreck. Offered a chance to manage a large team, but took an IC role in a different department instead.

I know this affects my ability to climb the corporate ladder, but we are financially ok. My husband actually enjoys it and it good at it, so I will let him be the climber instead of me.

I was really adultified pretty early by my boomer parents and management roles trigger me in all of the wrong ways.

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danappropriate@reddit

I work in software and have served as a manager up to the Senior Director level.

There are aspects of management I very much enjoy. I love helping people grow their careers, functioning as a sounding board, resolving conflicts, advocating for individuals, helping structure teams, clarifying roles, and, most of all, fighting for the interests of the people under my charge. I don't even mind dealing with the petty infighting; humans gonna human. Helping other people succeed is deeply humbling and gratifying.

I could 100% deal without the HR button-pushing. It’s mostly bullshit, and the constant need to provide air cover is exhausting.

That said, I prefer an IC role. I’ve found I still get to do a lot of the leadership things that bring me joy.

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StevieV61080@reddit

I spent 7 years in management at a young age and was woefully under-prepared. I got fired (due to my own stupidity) and that was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I went back to college, learned a tremendous amount about humility in leadership (and life), and ultimately landed a career where I now am a college professor who teaches management in the upper-division.

My agenda for my program is to work to ensure our future managers are better than our past and present. That means understanding Ranks of Rules (and why the Golden Rule isn't enough), Pillars of Collaboration, and a deep dive into Power, Privilege, and Difference.

Yes, theory and history matter. Practice and universally-applicable skills matter more.

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Possible-Tangelo9344@reddit

My career path is different, so management doesn't look the same.

I've been in law enforcement almost 20 years. A patrol officer for most of my career, I've also done background investigations and first line supervision, which would be the equivalent of a manager I suppose. But, cuz of the nature of my job management in my career basically was doing nothing until my phone rang and one of my dudes had a question, a use of force, crashed a car, or there was a robbery/shooting/homicide and I had to tell the watch commander/lieutenant. I had to do evals, and coaching when officers fucked up or were late or whatever, but it wasn't bad. And, I still showed up on some calls when I was bored or jumped minor calls to handle them for my officers. I loved it, but hated the department I was at, and honestly I'd go back to supervising if it wasn't for the fact that new supervisors go to night shift and I've got no desire to do that shit.

Now, I took a two year break from law enforcement and worked at a bank doing investigations. I could never be a manager there. My manager was always in meetings about bullshit that the execs wanted us to do that made our lives harder and there was no pushback in the corporate world. At my job my lieutenant or captain tells me something and I can say "that's dumb as fuck, why are we doing this?" and I don't get in trouble, but at the bank that would have been basically the same as quitting my job.

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SchucksAndMucks@reddit

I always knew I needed to manage people but my first go at is interesting. I’m lucky that my company takes new management seriously so I have a lot of trainings. The problem is that the people I inherited were so rutterless for so long they created their own jobs. I need to put one on a performance plan and the others have been doing aspects of others jobs because they’re control freaks. Either way other teams are on me for my employees being too much personality or doing too little. Oh, and if wondered if they get along, don’t worry they don’t. And they complain and throw each other under the bus any chance they get! 😄

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MintyJello@reddit

I moved up to managing people about 4 years into my accounting career. Did it for a decade. I then transitioned to a tech role where grade levels for individual contributors are higher, so i could still advance but not have to manage people or take a pay cut. I love it and don't miss managing others at all.

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CubicleHermit@reddit

I was an engineering manager for about 3 1/2 years; until my employer (bigtech but not FANG or that tier of bigtech) made big changes to management scope and performance practices (including a level of forced attrition), I really enjoyed it.

Would do it again, at a smaller, healthy organization.

Would not do it again within bigtech, at least in the current climate of "do more with less" and "forced attrition is good."

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Sinead_0_rebellion@reddit

This was my experience as well. The manager I worked under was wonderful, a mentor, trained well and then trusted us to be adults - so when I started also managing some of our team alongside her, it was great. I enjoyed it and I was good at it. Unfortunately things changed at the company, she was no longer my manager, and long story short, they basically bled me dry mentally until I left. But I generally enjoy and am good in positions of leadership. I do consulting work now, and it's great.

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CubicleHermit@reddit

I was lucky enough to have the tenure in the organization and technical credibility that when the management scope went south, I just switched back to an IC role.

I was there 7 1/2 years, almost evenly divided between EM and IC roles, with the EM part sandwiched in the middle. A mass layoff got me; I'm not actually unhappy about that part, although if I run through all the severance without something new I may end up a bit salthy in the end.

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Twanlx2000@reddit (OP)

The "smaller, healthy organization" cannot be overstated. I think I would love it if I felt I had the room to breathe.

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ossetepolv@reddit

My first year as a manager I had a super high performing, ultra motivated team, and it was amazing. Still the single best year of my working life. Then, I got involuntarily moved to manage a much larger group of extremely disgruntled union workers, and it was a nightmare for the next four years. I wound up quitting rather than stay in that role any longer, and after some moves wound up a principal-level individual contributor, and I’m never going back.

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Extreme-King@reddit

Yes - I love being a manager - though now I'm more a manager of managers with multiple programs and senior leads with over 80 ppl on my teams and 9 direct reports.

I more now create and enact policy, privide strategic direction, and develop the lower level managers and leaders into their next role through mentorship and direct performance development, amd push decisions to the lowest level, so the mid and junior personnel receive the same from their supervisors.

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Alarmed_Drop7162@reddit

gif

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coci222@reddit

I don't. One of the most uncomfortable questions I get is "Can I use the restroom?" I don't feel like I should be the one that controls that. Make sure your area is covered and don't be in there longer than you need to be, but don't ask me if you can take a leak. Should I say no? Lol

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GXP_2009@reddit

I do. If I'm managing professionals.

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EidolonRook@reddit

I need a position that gives me room to advance upward technically, so that I can progress my career, without having to do anything with management of people.

But that industry is not MY industry.

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MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit

I am good at it. I enjoy it. I have full control over my team - who I hire, first, promote, etc. There’s never a circumstance where I would be reassigned like what is happening to you.

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More_Bluejay9938@reddit

Manager here too. Unfortunately it’s all I know. I am pretty mediocre at individual contribution jobs. I am comfortable running a shift and working with people to achieve a goal. The actual administrative work tends to be simple in my industry. I do like seeing the new generation “push back” on things that have been accepted in the past. Like the idea that extra hours/shifts/overtime is a reward. Or the concept of going above and beyond just to impress someone, without any compensation. If they want or need time off, they pretty much just take it. They don’t really stress about calling in sick or having a schedule conflict, they pretty much just look to management to figure it out. It doesn’t bother me, I just find it interesting. I think as “old school” managers we do need to look at this and figure out ways to motivate the younger crowd. I don’t think the old “hard work is rewarded with more hard work” mentality is going to cut it. They want more money, more PTO and streamlined processes.

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onions-make-me-cry@reddit

I'm in an individual contributor role and happy with that. I pretty much don't work with anyone (work remote, and my job only depends on myself. I even hid all of our team channels into a folder in Teams, turned off my sounds for alerts, etc). It's nice.

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Hatecookie@reddit

Was a customer service manager for ten years. Hated it with a passion. Good numbers, enjoyed training people, same as you. I could do the job and do it well. Covid took me out. I made it until November of 2022 and couldn’t take the new customer attitude anymore. Went back to school at 38 and now I work for a small game dev making 3D models, doing graphic design for a tech startup, and freelance work on the side.

I highly recommend it! I did cash out my 401k to afford it, but I think it was a gamble worth taking. Looking at how far I’ve come in just 3 years is incredible. Future is looking good, career-wise. And yeah, I’m learning to use AI so it can’t take my job anytime soon, and I’ve built a solid reputation in my first year working.

It’s like I tell my kids when they are admiring someone’s accomplishments, the only difference between you and them is that you haven’t decided to do it.

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Money_Magnet24@reddit

I had a manager in my department in an office environment. He had no clue on how to handle the job. So he would spend time documenting everything everyone did on a daily basis and give it to HR that way he was able to keep his job and everyone else was let go.

To say this person was insufferable would be an understatement. Oh, he was also a racist an didn’t hide it. Funny how all the black employees were let go but the Latinos had job security ? huh. 🤔

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tossitintheroundfile@reddit

Well, in my opinion there is a big difference between “management” vs “leadership”. I was very good at both, but ultimately went back to an individual contributor role as being a good leader took all my time and energy and pretty much sucked the life out of me. I also got tired of all the paperwork.

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CliftonHangerBombs@reddit

I hate managing other people. Thankfully I found a technical niche in my area, so I only have to manage two other specialists rather than a whole group of generalists.

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OwieMustDie@reddit

I keep getting gently nudged into the role, and immediately Nope out once I realise what's going on. I don't have the patience to manage folk.

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SilverAsparagus2985@reddit

Pursue a career adjacent.

I’ve been in management for 15 years, working my way up. I cannot tell you how unequivocally burned out I had become. It was fine if I was building my own teams. I picked mature adults who were workers.

The issue always was when I had to acquire the ish that other people dumped on me or refused to deal with. The constant head games and conflict get old.

My last straw was a 55+ yr old man wandering, not into his supervisors office, but into mine to tell me how no one would go to lunch with him. He was a good worker, and an absolute dick to his coworkers. My supervisor had already informed me and was managing it. I asked him what he would like me to do about it and he didn’t have an answer.

That was the moment I realized I needed out. I couldn’t handle that level of entitlement and histrionics anymore.

So I pivoted. I’m in a CSM role now as an Account Manager and I still use my management skills every day and my SME without having to deal with the adult children. And while it still has its stressors dealing with clients, I never have to deal with that ish again and don’t plan on it.

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TrustAffectionate966@reddit

I can’t fucking deal with the different personalities - and new ones that crop up over time. All those weird stupid kids who ate paste, had behavioral problems, played with dead animals, repeated the first grade a few times, etc. - they ALL grew up and became “adults.” Those CHUDs were integrated into the workplace.

💀☠️

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SeaSkimmer2@reddit

I don’t like managing my own personnel issues, let alone anyone else’s.

Plus, there’s alot of politically incorrect “third rail” BS stuff that you’re not supposed to touch during interviews that could get an employer sued for even asking. I know enough to know I would not be a good fit at that table.

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Ok_Bird_9745@reddit

Nope. I used to manage people and stepped back. There is no way I’ll ever go back. My work life is so peaceful now.

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CubesFan@reddit

Sounds like me and my wife. Training people is great, management sucks. Both of us have made changes in our careers that take us out of management. I actually have a master's degree in organizational leadership, but opted out of that in my job.

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Aol_awaymessage@reddit

I’ve been a senior level IC (worker bee) for 10 years now and I’ve batted away manager “opportunities” for nearly as long. I have zero desire for that.

Mentoring is cool- I like that. But the corporate BS and shit rolling down hill (on to you) is not what I want.

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vikmaychib@reddit

I was put in charge of a team because the leader had moved on to another position. I hated it so much and I basically let go every one and informed my manager that it was time to stop this project.

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MoveCompetitive5742@reddit

I was able to get out of it and have been much happier since. my current team actually consists of 4 others who were people managers that wanted out and they are just as happy. I actually stayed in it for a few years after realizing I didn’t want to be in it because it was better for my team. see if you can find a new role that involves what you enjoy with your work but without people managing. it makes it an easier transition.

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edasto42@reddit

I was retail management for way longer than I wanted, but I loved the managing people part of the job. I hated the management above me as they were out of touch and had trigger finger to try and get rid of anyone that didn’t buy into their bs. I also hated most customers (I can list the reasons why but it ultimately changed my shopping habits so I’m not the problems I saw). But the people I managed-I loved them. I got a reputation to be the manager to work for because I was understanding, had a sense of humor, tried to have fun, and importantly didn’t buy into the company’s bs and just did my job. In turn I had a work force that would do anything for me at work when asked, and created some life long positive impressions on people. I have occasionally gotten messages from former employees telling me that working for me was some of the best working years of their life and that my attitude and understanding shaped some of their views on life.

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BoredPandemicPanda@reddit

"In contrast, my employer has me read archaic models of leadership that instruct me how to manipulate people to get results and delegate everything."

Sounds like you answered your own question. You need to figure out a way to spring board into that leadership role high enough to have a say in those models.

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heresmytwopence@reddit

I did it for 18 months a few years ago and am striving to never do it again.