[-]

Mayor_of_BBQ@reddit

They’re up there slapping each other with the hot mops

[-]

BrewCrewBall@reddit

You know goddamn well there’s more than two pits in a pear.

[-]

gosluggogo@reddit

I'll be there with my tools, Fuckface!

[-]

soulbribra@reddit

Oh inspection? Sure I have all that shit tough guy!

[-]

The better question is who has heard the underground Red Tube Bar tapes (and we had tapes). Complete genius and killed us for years on road trips - if you know you know ! THe ZZ! A man by the name of Pepe Roni? It’s what the Simpsons stole for the crank calls to Moe’s bar

[-]

BrewCrewBall@reddit

Haven’t thought about those in a long time!

[-]

Altruistic-Letter772@reddit

You killed uncle Freddie??

[-]

FrankParkerNSA@reddit

I fire the fuckers down on their fucking head....

[-]

ElectricPenguin6712@reddit

Split their fuckin heads. Outta here!

[-]

Beginning_Law_3399@reddit

My brother brought home the bootleg tapes from college, before they released them commercially. Those ones had a third Jerky Boy named John Musacha. While the other two were silly, that guy just seemed demented.

[-]

carlosdangertaint@reddit

It’s Frank, Frank Rizzo!

[-]

FrankParkerNSA@reddit

R I ZZZ Ohh...

[-]

Salt_Anywhere_6604@reddit

Frank Rizzo. R I Z Z O

[-]

FrankParkerNSA@reddit

I fired her of the roof on her fucking head.

[-]

DarthWeasel74@reddit

Literally sent this to my friend on Friday morning.

[-]

kpyourmom@reddit

Heck yeah, I saw the movie in the theater

[-]

Main_Tension_9305@reddit

It’s tearin the ass outa me!

Pablo honey? Keeping your ass clean?

It ain’t workin!

Yeah, listened to these retards a fair bit. Still quote them from time to time.

Especially the shoes and glasses, so I have them😂

[-]

LaStigmata@reddit

Ill bring all my shoes!

[-]

Main_Tension_9305@reddit

And my glasses…

[-]

bopon@reddit

So that I have them…

[-]

Traditional_Day_9513@reddit

Is that so chisel chest

[-]

bholmes1964@reddit

Sizzle chest

[-]

k_woz1978@reddit

Frank Rizzo is my favorite.

[-]

TheNotoriousSHAQ@reddit

You buy this fkn car or I break your fkn head

[-]

BasicTelevision5@reddit

Wild bird seed

[-]

etown23@reddit

If you want to talk to fianceé you must first talk to Mr. Scott

[-]

Full_Security7780@reddit

You bet!

[-]

Skatchbro@reddit

Nope. I know the name but have no idea what their schtick was.

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

these comments have got to have your interest piqued at the very least.

[-]

brain_test-a@reddit

I still have the bootleg cassette with the phone numbers not censored

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

You should get a kid to digitize it and put it somewhere on the interwebs to share with your Genx friends here. I am sure they can help put it on the YouTubes or sound cloud or something like that. I know the words, I just dont know how they do it or how to utilize any of the things...so, I guess maybe dont bother because whatever...😅

[-]

Fillmore80@reddit

::bell rings:: Stop that!

[-]

Major_Dizz13@reddit

Paint each other up!

[-]

BokChoyJr@reddit

No. It was pretty stupid.

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

Debbie downer in the house

[-]

mediawoman@reddit

I had the passed around NYC cassette for a bit.

[-]

Wallis614@reddit

Yep. 1990-ish; I remember audio only coming out of one channel.

[-]

boilersnipe@reddit

What’s up dhere a numb nuts

[-]

Monkeynutz_Johnson@reddit

I do this character called Willie the Jackass.

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

Pablo honey

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

Come back to florida

[-]

QueenMumof4@reddit

They killed uncle Freddy !

[-]

Cake_Donut1301@reddit

I need all my shoes, and all my glasses!

[-]

AggressiveLobster898@reddit

So I have them

[-]

HumanExpert3916@reddit

And the birds, they come at me! Oooohhh!!!! Awful…and they go “WOOTEN!”

[-]

ShoulderPainCure@reddit

Sue everyone!

[-]

gideonsean@reddit

My wife and I still call each other "sizzle chest".

[-]

Cake_Donut1301@reddit

Get Brett Weir I said!

[-]

MandatoryFun@reddit

FAVA BEANS

[-]

mess1ah1@reddit

You tell me, liver lips.

[-]

CritterOfBitter@reddit

Listen, Jerky. I don’t need talk to you.

[-]

cmparkerson@reddit

A neighbor had the cassette, it was funny for a little while,then they had a movie,which sucked.

[-]

Potential_Stomach_10@reddit

You don't treat my people like that !!!

[-]

Adolph_OliverNipples@reddit

I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off.

[-]

Strict_Individual_22@reddit

Pieces…wtf…pounds baby pounds

[-]

CharmCityBatman@reddit

I’m good with the chest,back, lats, and I can rebuild the starter motor

[-]

stemi67@reddit

This is Kissel

[-]

Draterus@reddit

I'm only burned about the head, breast, face, chest and neck.

[-]

bk6366@reddit

Is Renaldo around? I want to show him my goods.

[-]

TheWarDoctor@reddit

They're up on the roof with the hot mops and shit

[-]

ChessieChesapeake@reddit

You kicked my dog!

[-]

6glough@reddit

I put mustard on that shit and eat it

[-]

Merican1973@reddit

I will bring my shoes and my glasses, so I have them.

[-]

MandyLee77@reddit

Yeah lady i got your dog here, it's bleeding and fucking twitching 😂

[-]

mstrong73@reddit

Even if you didn’t want to listen to the Jerky Boys you couldn’t help it. Someone was either playing it or acting it out.

[-]

Famous_Asparagus_314@reddit

Yes !! And the tape of prank calls to that bartender Red was awesome too

[-]

Apprehensive_Glove_1@reddit

I would rub sand all over my assy nipples.

[-]

the_47th_painter@reddit

Sure did there sizzle chest.

[-]

ImFromDanforth@reddit

Sure did

[-]

Corpsey_Clownshoes@reddit

I was under the impression that he would beat me about the breasts..until they enlarge.

[-]

Good_wolf@reddit

I’d like some security. I’m very insecure.

[-]

cmdr1982@reddit

Sir, any store will have these types of articles for you to come and see.

[-]

Demostecles@reddit

I can paint anything.

[-]

ScreaminEagle2502@reddit

You paint in the union?

[-]

kcsews@reddit

Im silly like that

[-]

Deamonchild666@reddit

I have warts on my ass,their in my ass!!!

[-]

Happy_Cat_3600@reddit

Open your ears, jackass!

[-]

danconderman33@reddit

I am only burnt about my face neck chest and head.

[-]

FaustusRedux@reddit

And my glasses... So I have them

[-]

Working_Farmer9723@reddit

1994 I was working in eastern Washington and they hadn’t really made it there. I was driving with some friends I had made locally, one of whom was a nice Norman girl whose father was an elder or something. I put in the cd and Frank Rizzos talking about bench work. I thought “oh man I hope she’s not mad”. That thought lasted like 10 seconds until the absolute hysterical laughter emanating from the back seat. Good times.

[-]

tands@reddit

Then I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off.

[-]

Working_Farmer9723@reddit

I’ll bring all my glasses and my shoes.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

My absolute favorite.

[-]

TonyStark100@reddit

Frank Rizzo, I said!!!

[-]

SOMEONENEW1999@reddit

Frank Rizzo open your fukken ears jackass…

[-]

SOMEONENEW1999@reddit

I work circles around ya. I’ll wrap your fukken head in wit a ratchet…

[-]

Working_Farmer9723@reddit

I don’t need to talk to you!

[-]

Mildlyamused76@reddit

My name is Tarbash…what I do is, I eat hot coals

[-]

ProfessionalLength26@reddit

The Egyptian...Magician.

[-]

rheagmb@reddit

I punch my chest and it disappears in the crowd.

[-]

artichoke424@reddit

My buddy told me he had a lot ocular migraine the other day and naturally I said immediately "RIGHT IN THE F* EYE!"

[-]

Pansywell@reddit

Listen to me I was very hurt at work today.

[-]

TonyStark100@reddit

I got hurt about my head neck chest arms….

[-]

kuzism@reddit

“I grabbed some guy, he's ahh, you know, he don't know if he wants to buy, I push his face right in the fucking hood; you know, 'You buy this fuckin car or I'll break your fuckin head.'” – Frank Rizzo

[-]

Demostecles@reddit

My wife says I have a wonder muffin ass.

[-]

Demostecles@reddit

Yup! At work at Blockbuster Video in 1997-1998.

[-]

lovemesomezombie@reddit

Pablo honey, I want to go to Flor De Dah

[-]

Md693@reddit

Yep I’m gonna rap you in the head with a ratchet

[-]

fire-horse-@reddit

Yes. Hello? Is this dentist dental malpractice?

[-]

GogglesPisano@reddit

These fuckers, they gotta buy.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

"You don't but this shit I'm gonna throw your head into the windshield."
"

[-]

a1mfw@reddit

Wish their movie would be released on dvd

[-]

CzarGuy111@reddit

My eyes is going crazy

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

lol

[-]

Disastrous_Friend_85@reddit

And they rubbed sand in my assy nipples.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

lol

[-]

Disastrous_Friend_85@reddit

What of it, Sizzlechest?

[-]

HistoricalTowel1127@reddit

Yeah I have there hammertoe.

[-]

ucantdothatthesedays@reddit

I’ll be there before your best guy

[-]

Jufimbo@reddit

“I’ll split the nuts off the side of your face”. Fuckin. Loved the jerky boys. When I was 15 me and a buddy took a road trip for a karate belt test and we drove ourselves. Stopped at a Sam goody and bought the two jerky boys tapes they had and listened to nothing else the trip down and back. Failed the test and was kicked in the head and balls several times in the tournament but it was one of the best road trips ever. “GET BRETT WIER I SAID”

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

"This is Sal Rosenburg, God and little baby Jesus help us."

[-]

DantesGame@reddit

My own shadow is choking me...

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Lol

[-]

DroidRGH@reddit

Drink a bottle-and-a-half of Jack Daniels during the day, I whack back a six-pack at night, I’m sick. But ya think there’s a problem with the drinking there, eh?

*haven’t heard it in years but good to be reminded, thanks

[-]

jarhead3088@reddit

Of course sizzle chest !

[-]

GladosPrime@reddit

I.... I have my shoes with me.

[-]

Areyoukiddingme2@reddit

...and all of my glasses.

[-]

Laugh-Fly-43@reddit

I do a balloon show for kids.

So what do ya do?

[-]

Empty_Divide153@reddit

Pablo honey?

[-]

Laugh-Fly-43@reddit

Please come to Florida

[-]

c_r_a_s_i_a_n@reddit

THIS IS KISTLE WHAT TIME YOU PEOPLE GONNA COME OVER HERE AND FIX MY SINK

[-]

Laugh-Fly-43@reddit

There’s water all over the place!!

[-]

hallonemikec@reddit

Can I sue dem?

[-]

No-Property1871@reddit

Ong had a roommate in the late 90s who worshipped them. It was funny the first two times around but by the 10th or 100th it was old… and he would get mad when no one else laughed anymore 😱

[-]

copper_state_breaks@reddit

That's exactly how it was. My buddy's dorm mate listened to it constantly. It was funny the first few times, but got old about the 10th time.

[-]

jackwagon22w@reddit

The one with the hot mops. On the roof had me dieing

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Lol

[-]

seanchai611PF@reddit

As part of my act, I pull large pieces of furniture out of my ass

[-]

TeeDub27@reddit

I am street performer - I perform with one cobra and it jumped up and stung me in the eye with the poison tooth

[-]

Gumbyonbathsalts@reddit

My eye. My eye. My poison eye. I just play my flute do do-do do do do.

[-]

captainfishhooks@reddit

Pickle barrel ass!!

[-]

building_Fire@reddit

Can I slip you a pickle 🥒?

[-]

StOnEy333@reddit

This is Saul.

[-]

eyehate@reddit

I pickle they.

[-]

fuckyoulahey@reddit

Pablo, are you wiping your ass?

[-]

Realistic-Produce-28@reddit

Are you keeping yourself clean, honey?

[-]

c_r_a_s_i_a_n@reddit

You bastard

[-]

Expensive_Rhubarb_87@reddit

They broke my Microsoft Dinosaur CD and cut me all over my body

[-]

PolyDrew@reddit

Should I bring my farking tools?!? I said, should I bring my farking tools!?!

[-]

dB_Manipulator@reddit

"I work on race cars."

[-]

ExcitingARiot@reddit

I’ll start tomorrow

[-]

HoochShippe@reddit

And then I bring out small mountain cat that mauls people on stage.

~ The Egyptian Magician.

[-]

gbr1976@reddit

"Hello? Pablo, honey? Come back to Florida, we miss you. Are you washing your ass, Pablo? Keep yourself clean?"

[-]

c_r_a_s_i_a_n@reddit

This inspired a Radiohead album title. True story.

[-]

anarchikos@reddit

I'll bring all of my shoes and glasses.

[-]

ExcitingARiot@reddit

So I have them.

[-]

Empty_Divide153@reddit

Hallo Sam? What are you doing? I got the corn on da cox and I don’t know what to do with them.

[-]

econ0003@reddit

My name is Tarbash the Egyptian magician.

[-]

t65789@reddit

It’s their best bit I think.

[-]

imtoowhiteandnerdy@reddit

I wake up with pants unbuttoned

[-]

B_L_T@reddit

I punch my chest and disappear into crowd

[-]

getmet79@reddit

My mouth bleeding my pants unbuckled

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Yes!

[-]

baseballzombies@reddit

I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Frank Rizzo.

[-]

JoeMagnifico@reddit

Open ya fuckin' ears jackass!

[-]

Empty_Divide153@reddit

Are you Uncle Freddy?

[-]

getmet79@reddit

R-I-Z-Z-O

[-]

gregm47@reddit

The Super across the way. Get Brett Weir, I said!

[-]

silverladder@reddit

Look jerky... I don't need to talk to you.

[-]

PaleEmpress414@reddit

I peed in your pool!

[-]

c_r_a_s_i_a_n@reddit

GET BRETT WEIR I SAID

[-]

PorcelainTorpedo@reddit

I DONT NEED TO TALK TO YOU, JERKY

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Lol

[-]

raford@reddit

What’s up, Sizzlejerk?

[-]

WileyCoyote7@reddit

Ok great! Spicy hot lamby nipple chops with minty pickled sour sauce.

[-]

Open_Mortgage_4645@reddit

I went to high school with Johnny Brennan. Before he got a record deal with Kamal, they were making bootleg recordings and passing them around school. Johnny was always a really funny guy. Always doing voices. I remember went they went big, everyone was so excited and cheering for them.

[-]

jawshoeaw@reddit

Yes over and over on a bad cassette.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

What do mean pounds? I can lift 1,000 pieces.

[-]

Doc-Milsap@reddit

I did a long time ago. Haven’t thought about them in decades though. They were funny.

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Revisit my guy.

[-]

Doc-Milsap@reddit

Consider it done!!

[-]

Ok_Industry3016@reddit (OP)

Hell yeah! Enjoy.

[-]

loopster70@reddit

“Oh I’ll show it to Ilan in a big way, honey!”

Could probably just spend hours dropping lines from that first release. On a totally separate note, I’ve lived in LA for almost 30 years after growing up in NJ, and hearing the NY/NJ local Noo Yawk accents that the callers have fills me with nostalgia for home.

[-]