ULPT: How can I make money off the recent, intense market fluctuations?
Posted by Meowsthicc@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 31 comments
Could really use some money as tuition is expensive and I have a ton of stuff I need to save up for. My job doesn’t pay very well and will probably be getting a 2nd job too, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough.
I’ve heard a lot of people talking about the markets being manipulated at about the same time each week before the weekend. I only know very surface level stuff about investing and finance, so it might have to be an ELI5 what I should do to make money off of this situation.
Also I have a squeaky clean legal record, so I’m only looking for things I can do LEGALLY to capitalize on this. Unethical is fine here, but not illegal.
Thank you :)
mrmrmrj@reddit
These market fluctuations are in no way intense. They are comfortably within normal statistical patterns.
ChefArtorias@reddit
Trying to make a quick buck off of a volatile market is how many lose all their money and basically ruin their lives.
vexmach1ne@reddit
Wait for it to dip back. Then buy stocks and wait for the next big spike... That's the only way without making it your day job or gambling stocks.
rainbowdonkey69@reddit
That's still very much gambling. Don't try to time the market, you don't know when you're at the bottom. Just put money in as often as you can and forget about it.
OshunBlu@reddit
Be a fuckin senator.
adamdoesmusic@reddit
Look at any situation and think “how might a grifter twist this situation” then bet on that. Watch for “official” tweets mentioning certain companies, most of those are made specifically to manipulate the market.
martiantheory@reddit
I really considered going on kalshi. These prediction markets allow you to trade against almost anything. They go through extreme legal gymnastics to not call it “betting”, but that’s pretty much what it is.
I can’t bring myself to do it, though, cause I don’t really have an edge. It would literally just be me guessing.
But my thought was to just bet against any idea that the president wouldn’t do something. Pretty much anytime I thought to myself, “there’s no way that’s real”, it was definitely real.
So my strategy would be to find any situation where people aren’t expecting to happen because it would just be unprecedented… pretty much just make your investment strategy “the world is going to progressively get worse and weirder”… seems like people haven’t quite caught onto that yet. And I’ve seen a lot of times that people psychologically can’t handle betting that the world is going to end, so you can probably make a little money as the world goes to hell in a handbasket.
Just a random perspective. I’m probably not gonna do it unless I find something that I know a lot about or have some sort of legitimate edge.
RonBurgundy2000@reddit
Head to r/wallstreetbets for the real tips, preferably after midnight.
RaisedSteaks@reddit
You should purchase the S&P consistently over a very long period of time over which it is nearly guarenteed to perform, setting you up for a rich and relaxing retirement. That will really show them.
Okinawa_Mike@reddit
short the market before it crashes on 14 May
Meowsthicc@reddit (OP)
Can you elaborate please?
Okinawa_Mike@reddit
Do have a brokerage account with approved margin, or are you a licensed broker?
guppie101@reddit
Approved margin
zatara1210@reddit
Most people intrinsically make money off the stock market, after getting a full-time job with ‘benefits’, where they contribute a certain amount towards the ‘stock market’ through regular contributions taken from their paychecks to your own investment fund called a 401k (you can opt out too). So, my first advice to you would be stay in school, get good grades and get a full time job. Get a loan if you must. This is because with the unethical tips below, you could possibly lose money which would be further disheartening, given your situation.
Now, back to the theme of this sub, if you’re talking about day trading, which involves you transferring your own disposable cash to a brokerage like Robinhood or weBull, making money off current events is more a matter of financial literacy and hedging strategies than ‘being on-the-inside’. A lot of it is jargon but once you get the hang of it and know what you’re doing, you can turn a decent profit. See link below for basics on how to get started.
https://www.investopedia.com/trading-4427765
Meowsthicc@reddit (OP)
Thank you! If you have any more tips I’d love to hear it. Although I’m in school for smth else now, my degree was in math, so I think I’d be interested in learning more about investing.
Mother-Pride-Fest@reddit
There's a lot of rich people throwing tons of computing power at predicting the market and optimizing their returns, trading faster than you can read articles.
I'm not saying you can't make decent profit off of trading, just don't rely on it too much because you aren't going to be on a level playing field with the others.
Faustian-BargainBin@reddit
90% of traders fail to beat index stocks such as the S&P 500. It's gambling.
MrHi_VEVO@reddit
If you could predict the market, you should work on wallstreet. Those guys are better equipped and better skilled, and their job is to make money off of people who think they can do it better.
Don't gamble, unless you really want to donate to wallstreet
Foulwinde@reddit
You could do it daytrading depending on how much money you have.
If you don't know what you are doing and make risky moves, you could lose it all.
Might as well take it to the casino and bet it all on black.
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tiaratwinks@reddit
Oh man you should have invested in Palentir 6 months ago.
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stabbingrabbit@reddit
Sell EAT THE RICH bumper stickers
AcousticMayo@reddit
Hilariously ignorant
Ok_Vulva@reddit
Ah yes. So, download robinhood. Wait until he makes his statement on moday about how great he is. Pay attention to what its about, and place puts on the company you heard him say was doing great. Because on Tuesday it will be announced he was lying.
On Friday before the markets close, go ahead and use all the insider knowledge you've gained by being in his inner circle and place calls on all of the companies you know he'll be saying are great come Monday. Sell, and profit. Now place puts on the same company for Tuesday because you know he was actually lying on Monday.
Repeat
HerrFerret@reddit
Are you the President of the USA, a member of his family or do you boast a close relationship.
Of not, you should consider it.
Anything else is pointless. It's a small club, and your are not in it.
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JihadiLizard@reddit
you’d have better luck robbing a convenience store than trying to make money off stock market fluctuations l