ULPT Request: How do I maliciously comply with new apartment rules

Posted by Twlightsparklez@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 129 comments

I rent the 2nd floor of a three story building. For the last three years of living in I've always had a bird feeder that hangs off my balcony. Any mess that is created falls to the grass where squirrels and other birds clean it up relatively quickly. Basically there is no visible mess, except on my own patio that I sweep daily.

Suddenly our complex is making massive changes, the good: painting fences, new pool furniture, new kids playground. The bad: cutting down old growth trees (even ones that are not potential widow makers), now charging for trash, complaining about door wreaths, and this one hurts, removing the free storage locker that was initially part of our rent in the name of aesthetics despite them being behind a closed door off the hallway. The newest target is my bird feeder. I got a notice yesterday that in bolded text states that I need to remove items that are not lawn/patio furniture and it specifically mentions my bird feeder.

Watching the birds and having something to care for after my cat has passed has made the world of difference to my mental and emotional health. While I will remove the feeder, the rage I feel over this fight is real and making me feel I need to find a way to comply with their lawn/patio furniture demand that will make them rage but unable to do anything because I am following their rules. Please help.

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rufireproof3d@reddit

I guarantee your apartments were bought by, or are being sold to a property management company. They are wanting to maximize the looks so it maximizes the value. Also, any unliked rules are implemented by the old owners, who then leave, and the new owners promise to "review" the shitty rules. Spoiler alert: >!None of the rules will change.!< Your rent is about to go up.

ULPT: A lawn chair or other patio furniture with built in bird house or feeder.

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SingleQuality4626@reddit

100% Get ready for:

-Additional fees to pay your rent, sometimes a ridiculous amount too, one place wanted a 7.5% transaction fee to pay rent ANY other way than by cashier’s check.

-repainting the parking lot making spaces smaller to fit more spaces.

-Less or no guest parking

-Tow service on speed dial to hook your car

-Amenities and perks you actually use will go away and be replaced by stuff you won’t use or nothing.

-on-site management is now worthless. If you have any real issues they will refer you back to corporate where they can ignore you from miles away.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Yup we're preparing for the worse

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littleoctagon@reddit

Just set out bird seed on the railing of your balcony.

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AnaisNinjaTX@reddit

Oh just cover the car of the people who came up with idea in birdseed.

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Sidewalk_Tomato@reddit

I do this! Crows love unshelled peanuts and visit daily for them. Sometimes I toss them other things, but I do it discreetly.

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whoisdonaldtrump@reddit

Crows also love stale cat kibble, that could be a cool way of honoring their late pet while also feeding the birds!

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GreenRomance1972@reddit

That's really not good for the birds. You eat it.

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Grandma-Plays-FS22@reddit

Hmm source?

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GreenRomance1972@reddit

Cat kibble is I think quite obviously intended for cats. It lacks important minerals for feather growth and health. Without healthy feathers, birds are extremely vulnerable. I volunteer in wildlife rescue and my avian vet always advises against feeding dog and cat kibble. Unfortunately as it's cheaper and more readily available than proper bird food, its often used as a replacement for the right food.

Source from a vet clinic.

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Objective-Solid-4537@reddit

I get that it's not nutritionally complete, but is it actually bad for them in small quantities? Like I would think a wild bird would have other sources of food.

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GreenRomance1972@reddit

The issue with this mindset is that if everyone is thinking it, the birds are actually eating a lot of crap. If everyone only gives them just a little of the wrong foods, that's still adding up to a lot of bad food for them.

Of course one cat biscuit won't harm an adult bird. But people don't understand the above. And others will misunderstand and think well if one biscuit won't harm them, then a dozen will be fine too. And it spirals because we really, really like feeding the birds and interacting with them.

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whoisdonaldtrump@reddit

Thank you!! I’ll avoid spreading this in the future!

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Grandma-Plays-FS22@reddit

Hmm I guess I’d previously searched on whether it would harm corvids, as we wanted to feed a very skittish starving stray cat (maybe we acquired a cat via the “CDS”?? ) Anyway I’d got it in my head that it was fine for them? Our experience is that NAC (Newly Acquired Cat) eats it just fine and is becoming noticeably less skittish after about 3 weeks.

So! Thank you for kindly disabusing me of that notion!

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FamiliarDirection563@reddit

Feed the crows the remains of the cat, they'd love you forever.

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whoisdonaldtrump@reddit

Honestly, that’s what I’d like to happen to my body

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Sidewalk_Tomato@reddit

I feed them that, too!

. . . I don't have a cat.

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whoisdonaldtrump@reddit

Well not with that attitude!

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PM_ME_YOUR_MOMS_BONG@reddit

But not wild bird seeds.

Bird Feed

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

To much wind to leave on the railing. But I like the idea of a dish if I could find something decorative enough they don't consider it an eyesore

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unfinished_diy@reddit

If your railing is metal, Harbor Freight sells a little magnetic dish- it’s intended for mechanics so they don’t lose screws, but would stick very nicely to a metal railing.

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Grandma-Plays-FS22@reddit

I have one of those from O’Reilly that my husband brought himself to part with. It holds a bunch of lil screwdrivers nearly always then sometimes holds screws for whatever we’re dismantling/rebuilding.

Its magnet is utterly amazing in its strength!

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sprkl@reddit

Good call out! We use these exact ones as a water (or bigger nuts/seeds) bowl on our metal window sill next to the bird feeders + they work great.

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Bammalam102@reddit

Mischievous compliance is not meant to make people happy

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WakunaMatata@reddit

Clearly you gotta smear peanut butter on the railing

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lesbiancanuck@reddit

some terracotta trays would look great! the ones that you put underneath the plant pots, they’re shallow and you can paint them if you’d like. could also put pebbles and water in one for the birds to drink. and maybe a cute stool to sit them on so they aren’t on the floor of the balcony

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bzzybot@reddit

Terra cotta planters/ bird feeders. Water in same container. If they give you shit, say you are growing insert plant name

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bzzybot@reddit

Heavy ceramic bowls will do the trick.

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apleasantpeninsula@reddit

screw a trough of some sort to the inside of the railing

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Lala0dte@reddit

Chair with two upholding. Insert bird seed and water.

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littleoctagon@reddit

Go to goodwill and look for ashtrays, use them instead. Then watch your mailbox for passive-aggresive notes about your apartment's smoking policy.

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sweetlevels@reddit

That would blow away no?

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exhausted247365@reddit

I do this and I use mess free bird seed

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

To much wind to leave on the railing. But I like the idea of a dish if I could find something decorative enough they don't consider it an eyesore

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realDespond@reddit

put it on the landlords balcony (assuming they live on site)

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digitalforestmonster@reddit

This. A dish of seed and a bowl of water out on the balcony

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Tinmanwpk@reddit

This is my initial reaction as well.

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youseenofilter@reddit

Glue some little legs to it and say it’s a chair

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

What about s patio chair with a built in cup holder on the arm?

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duckinradar@reddit

Get a small stool that can sit on your railing and attach the feeder to the leg

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LynnScoot@reddit

I love this idea! A couple of chairs with a divot in the arms to hold your beverage, now full of seed and peanuts!

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DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit

Or a table. Patios have tables.

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Windows_10-Chan@reddit

You might be able to fight them on some of these things. Did they implement these mid-lease? If so, I would check if they can.

Especially charging you for trash, if they do that mid-lease you absolutely should be able to tell them to fuck off.

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Objective-Solid-4537@reddit

Yes, Google "tenant advocacy groups near me." There are often NPOs or local government agencies that understand these laws better than the average person and can help you fight this, usually for free!

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Fantastic_AF@reddit

Get patio furniture and permanently attach bird feeders to it. Make it something extra gaudy, like get a cheap lawn chair, gorilla glue a bird feeder or 2 to the chair and bedazzle the rest.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Omg haven't thought of bedazzled! Hi-vis paint and bedazzling

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Fantastic_AF@reddit

Might even wanna throw some reflective tape in there for good measure

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Artistic

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Fr3sh3stl4d@reddit

Not unethical but you should check your lease. If the storage locker is included with your rent they usually can't just take that away without voiding the lease.

I don't know a whole lot but you should at least look into it, including the other things you mentioned.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Scanned the lease again last night it basically comes down to management can change the rights to an amenity with 30 days written notice. Old management never cared what we did and used. New company starting to become a nightmare. Unfortunately we renewed our lease just before all this started

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Fr3sh3stl4d@reddit

Oh I'm sorry, that sucks :( good luck

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Mary_the_penguin@reddit

Can you put in on the ground, so it's not visible from outside your apartment? Or maybe have a fake pot plant and "mulch" it with birdseed. Can't help it that you're a Disney princess and the birds just like to hang out at your place.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

They can see onto the entire patio from the grass. Bottom apartments are sunken basement units so we are not to high up.

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joydal@reddit

The people living above me feed squirrels. My rat problem from these " nature lovers" has kept me from using my patio for six years. I have spent at least $1000 on cleaning crews and various products, it has visible rat droppings in a few days. Feed birds away from communal housing!

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Downstairs neighbors have no walkout, they're sunken basement apartments. I wouldn't have started bird feeding if it impacted my neighbors. We face over the common green space so everything that falls is on my balcony or the grass.

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coolsellitcheap@reddit

Redit hates when i say this and will downvote me double negative, but... Maybe you should buy a house. I love being a homeowner. Nobody tells me i cant have a bird feeder. Run the numbers see what you can afford. Maybe there is something out there.

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macetheface@reddit

I see this all the time agreed. Absolutely hattttttted being in apartment with people all around me, hearing them snoring through walls, loud tv at 2 am. Stupid shit.

Now I live in the woods in a non-hoa neighborhood and can do literally whatever I want.

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Serpentarrius@reddit

But houses have HOAs

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threwou@reddit

A majority do not. Mine doesn't

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

Plus, OP is getting birds to shit all over the neighbors stuff.

Let’s hope the neighbors end up posing about the POS who won’t stop feeding the birds.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Actually our apartment looks over the common yard so no cars are getting harmed. Bottom apartments are sunk on basement level and have no patios to get pooped on.

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NorahGretz@reddit

Get a doctor to certify that the bird feeder is for a mental health condition. It doesn't need to be any more specific than that, just something that states that this is an ADA issue.

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macetheface@reddit

I think this is the only realistic way to do it. And if they go against that, can file a claim with the state or go to the news and make it really messy for them. If they're doing this to clean it up and make more $ for cheap, last thing they'll want it bad publicity.

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Odd_Cryptographer941@reddit

Are you allowed Window boxes on your Balcony? If so then have a raised one and put the bird food in it, you could even waterproof one side and make it a bird bath!

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

We're pretty sure planters are going to be the next target and by association windows boxes

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Odd_Cryptographer941@reddit

Thats a bit Shit!

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Yeah starting to feel like an HOA. If we didn't renew our lease last month before all this madness, we'd be long gone

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IngrownToenailsHurt@reddit

What about planters? Get some small concrete planters and just put the bird feed in them. They won't blow away.

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BoyHaunted@reddit

https://a.co/d/03kgad5a

Compliance! Never said a human had to be able to sit in it!

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-tacostacostacos@reddit

Totally ethical, but still hardcore: organize a tenants union. None of you are obligated to follow “new rules” that fall outside the agreements in your current leases.

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Curious-Order-8429@reddit

iget the frustration... but this is one of those situations where malicious compliance ccan backfire fast with landlords......

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ozzy_thedog@reddit

They are telling you because the bird feeders attract rats. I work in pest control and bird feeders are the #1 thing that attracts rats to apartment buildings.

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kooshans@reddit

Rats, mouses, bird shit, property damage from making nests. I'm always amazed how little care and compassion for their neighbours these supposed "animal lovers" have.

But of course, it's never really about the care for animals. It's almost exclusively about the personal entertainment of seeing the birds.

Otherwise, you could also just go out into nature and feed them.

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stabbingrabbit@reddit

Lawn furniture

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alwaysforgettingmyun@reddit

This is ideal

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mandi723@reddit

This needs to be a top comment.

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Puceeffoc@reddit

Unethical. Every time you go to your car in the morning just drop seeds from a bag all over the sidewalk and parking lot.

Drop peanuts too for the squirrels. When the landlord asks you to stop dropping birdseed ask him to put it in writing for "your records." When you get the e-mail pick it apart for loopholes. If he says "Stop dropping seed on the sidewalk and in the parking lot." Then start dropping it in the grass near the sidewalk. When he complains ask for it it writing and pick it apart in loopholes again. "Please stop dropping seeds in the grass by the sidewalk." Then make custom "bird energy balls" with seeds and mallet. And set them on the curb... Yadda yadda yadda just keep being an annoying "idiot" every time they send you a "knock it off" letter.

Put a birdfeeder on your car. Just keep the war going until it comes down to "Ok fine put a feeder in your balcony"

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little_miss_beachy@reddit

Can’t stop laughing!

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Love the malicious compliance. Hurts no one, feeds wildlife. I can definitely keep this war going. We are currently filling the storage locker, that we have to give up, with empty junk. After the deadline to get out everything is considered abandoned and the complex has to move it. So yes I love this, also spreading out the seed reduces competition and maybe gets the crows attention

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BugBugRoss@reddit

Is the storage locker included in your lease?

If so and you don't agree and your lease is still in effect I don't think they get to do this.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Currently trying to fight it

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achingforscorpio@reddit

Get one that stands up instead of hangs?

I like the one idea about gluing little legs to it like a patio chair lol.

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sintaur@reddit

Re: the free trash removal and the free storage... are you on a month to month lease or yearly? Did you sign a new lease agreeing to the changes or did they just unilaterally change it on you all without your consent?

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Charlie24601@reddit

First of all, it depends on your rental contract. New rules don't usually take effect until you sign a new contract unless the original contract says something like, "All new rules created take effect immediately".

Second of all, and this is actually BETTER for the birds: Just buy some native plants. They are super easy to grow because...well, they're native plants. They WANT the exact environment you live in. Some species are akin to weeds and spread like crazy. I have a patch of native sunflower that is becoming an actual problem that i think I'm going to have to surround their roots with metal sheeting, and I have brown eyed susan seeding itself everywhere on my lawn. In the DC area and want some brown eyed susan? I'll dig a plant up for you right now....I got plenty that will likely just be removed as a weed otherwise.

Native plants are better because bird feeders are SUPER gross. they spread disease like no ones business unless you do a DEEP cleaning once a week. As in take them down, empty them, wash in hot soapy water, scrub, and then use a bleach solution.
I personally found bird feeders to be more trouble than they are worth in the end.

Third, and another person already said it: Just scatter seed around your balcony.

Fourth, add OTHER resources for them. Water is a big one. Just clean the water bowl daily for the same reason you clean the feeders. Make small piles of twigs for nesting (do not use pet hair or human hair). Add a birdhouse or two.

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Opposite-Shower1190@reddit

They make clear bird feeders that attach to windows

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_Internet_Hugs_@reddit

First of all, taking away your storage area may be illegal. If it was there when you signed your lease they may have to AT LEAST compensate you for the lost square footage by lowering your rent. You should look into that.

Second, what if you got one of those picnic table bird feeders? Technically it's a table and chairs! https://www.etsy.com/listing/1862388643/bird-feeder-picnic-table?ref=user_profile&frs=1

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MugatuGumboot@reddit

Spray paint your patio furniture hot pink.

Keep an eye out for free patio furniture on the street and spray paint it pink and stack it up on your balcony. More and more of it. Zip tie it to the outside of your railing.

Hang it from the hook where your bird feeder was

And don't forget to demand a decrease in your rent because you no longer have that storage locker

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

We were just considering doing this with hi-vis paint wasn't sure what color but I love pink

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Secure-Corner-2096@reddit

Set your bird feeder up on a table on your balcony. The birds will risk it for food. Any mess will be confined to your balcony and you can just keep it tidy.

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MdmeGreyface@reddit

"Feed, not seed"

On this case, ID the birds that live in your area, and focus on finding a couple of living food sources for a few of the more common ones. Hummingbirds love nectar, but also their native or naturalized flower equivalent, etc.

It won't solve the whole problem, and will require some additional work on your part to care for the plants. But as long as you keep it moderate, are they really going to say no some nice outdoor plants on a tidy patio?

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concrete_marshmallow@reddit

Tray on the table with bird goodies.

Easy to clean up too.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

I like the idea, would have to find something they don't consider an eyesore

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zombiifissh@reddit

If you have a grated wall (like a chain link fence kinda) or slats for the sides of your balcony, they make these rolls of like, fake foliage you can truss to the balcony walls to give yourself a little wind cover and privacy for the bowls/trays

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Puceeffoc@reddit

Make a "planter" that essentially a bird feeder but disguised as a planter.

First remove the bird feeder. Wait 1-2 weeks to put up your planter. Between the 1-2 weeks just lay the birdseed on your balcony railing. That way the birds still see your balcony as a food source.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

We are pretty sure they're going after planters next but it's a thought I've had. One of the neighbors notice had an issue with her hanging planters

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Undrwtrbsktwvr@reddit

They told me I needed to remove my plants that had been there 7 years or they’d sue me. I moved.

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Pomegranate_1328@reddit

I plant black oil sunflower seeds all over the yard. Many get eaten by the birds but some are growing into sunflowers and then the birds will eat the seeds from the flowers. You can buy a big bag and throw them everywhere.

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correctingStupid@reddit

Don't put up bird feeders in a fucking apartment complex you dope. No one want to hear a massive amount of birds chirping outside their fucking window at the ass crack of dawn on their day off. It's obnoxious

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flearhcp97@reddit

Do we live in the same complex?! lol

I ❤️ having a bird feeder.

My cats ❤️❤️❤️ it.

After 2 years with no issues, suddenly I have to remove it?!

I don't fucking think so.

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Serpentarrius@reddit

Turn it into a different kind of bird feeder and start offering fish and carrion for the vultures and other birds of prey. Or if they have an issue with bird feeders specifically, start feeding the bears, bees, opossums, racoons, bats, deer, moths, etc.

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Sea-Louse@reddit

Take the bird feeder down and put it back up in a few months from now.

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SecretStabbie@reddit

Put seed on an old garden chair.

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PageNotFoubd404@reddit

Solidly attach the feeder to a pole solidly attached to a lawn chair. Add a decorative birdhouse to your balcony so they match as “decor.”

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IntensitiesIn10Citys@reddit

Build a epic playground for squirrels and birds to play and eat hut shape it like furniture. Make sure they see you sitting on it and add aome covers tk parts. Food can be placed in interior feeder bowls to protect form wind and there can be sill feeders on the chair legs and such. Add plants like vines and umbrella trees. Let nature surround you!

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Comfortable_Sea_717@reddit

Maybe this?

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

I don’t think anyone should help someone who is ENCOURAGING Birds to come around and shit everywhere.

OP is a horrible neighbor.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Our apartment looks over the common yard so no cars are getting harmed. Bottom apartments are sunk on basement level and have no patios to get pooped on or birdseed on. All goes straight into the grass.

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its_moodle@reddit

I lived in apartment with a balcony where my upstairs neighbor had a bird feeder. There was always a ton of birdseed on my balcony that fell from upstairs, and bird shit to go with it.

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spammmmmmmmy@reddit

Give the whole lease agreement to Grok and ask it this question.

I'm sorry my answer is no fun - but you have after all not shared ANY of the rules with us.

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last_rights@reddit

Get a bird feeder that looks like an Adirondack chair. It's technically lawn furniture.

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LouisePoet@reddit

Well. Your out here is obviously that lawn and patio furniture is allowed.

Birds eat off of anything, you know? Until it's specified that it has to be human sized furniture, go to town creating your own bird lounge. Compete with bird furniture.

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nowinterever@reddit

Aldi is currently selling miniature picnic tables & chairs that are actually bird feeders. Just sayin'.

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Twlightsparklez@reddit (OP)

Ooh thank you I'll look

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cbelt3@reddit

Lawn furniture? You know, a little table is a perfect spot to put bird seed on.

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HelloThisIsPam@reddit

I would buy some patio furniture and oops, oh no, I left out bowls of birdseed. How clumsy of me!

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lun4d0r4@reddit

... If they are taking away storage that is documented in your rental agreement, the rent needs to be decreased as it is something you're already paying for.

Look up your regulatory board and report them!!!

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