Is bullying serious at boarding schools in the UK?
Posted by Intelligent_Chef9950@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 23 comments
I've heard a lot of old stereotypes about terrible bullying in UK boarding schools from movies and old stories. How bad is it actually these days in modern boarding schools?
Is it mostly just outdated myths now, or is serious bullying still a common problem?
sunheadeddeity@reddit
If you're thinking of sending a child to boarding school, please don't. Quite apart from how well bullying is or isn't managed, the child has to come to terms with the fact that their parents don't want them around at home - the "affection rupture". It can be very damaging.
ScotlandisThrowAway@reddit
Personally I absolutely loved boarding as did my friends. But I am from an incredibly rural area with nothing to do and nobody to see so perhaps my experience would be different if I was from a city and forced to move away.
ThatNiceDrShipman@reddit
I saw a documentary about boarding schools and the main guy got bullied because only one of his parents was from the nobility. Luckily he became popular in the school because he had a really fast broomstick.
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I was at a boarding school during the 2000's. Talking to my friends who were also boarders, day students, and also state students - it seems like the experience is broadly similar across the board, if you will.
Naturally, as a boarder, you are in closer proximity to your potential bully which, if not dealt with, can be somewhat of an extra hardship. For what it is worth, I personally was not bullied, and the abuse that I did witness did seem to have been handled swiftly.
My father, who also went to the same school as I, did see much more bullying than I did - and my grandfather, who also went to the same school, said there much much 'character building' in his day, which one could possibly assume might not be well received today.
RayaQueen@reddit
It certainly builds some kind of character!
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I started boarding when I was 7. We lived next to a church and my parents would take me back to school on a Sunday evening, just as the church ringers were starting a peel. To this day I get butterflies in my stomach when I hear church bells. I assume that was the kind of character that was to be instilled in all of us.
Isnt-It-500@reddit
It's very serious child abuse especially at 7. I went at 9. It's ruined my life. My son is 9 now I can't imagine sending him away to be 'cared for' by a bunch on institutionalised pedo sadist bachelors.
They all say the same thing oh it's different now. Except they've been saying that for over a century.
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I have a great relationship with my parents - but still, I do feel like I missed out a period of my childhood.
Popular-Tap5549@reddit
Mate - for me getting the train back to school on a freezing winter Sunday evening while seeing other families and children cosy up in their homes on my walk to the station. And back in time for mass. Shivers to this day.
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I remember being told that I was very lucky - I certainly didn't feel especially lucky at the time. I know your pain - solidarity my friend!
Dannypan@reddit
I like the part where twenty years later I still flinch over the slightest touch because of how untrustworthy and cruel people were in my school.
RayaQueen@reddit
I'm so sorry 🩶
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
Bullying is everywhere and any school anywhere in the world. I used to say kids are mean but kids will just bully you to your face, adults bully you online / indirectly and so forth
Banes_Addiction@reddit
Well yeah, but in a normal school you go home at the end of the day. You're exposed to your bully like, 40 hours a week.
Boarding school is 24/7 for months. It's obviously a much more vulnerable environment.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
Girls often bully with words and exclusion, including online, so more like what you're saying about adults. Boys are still more physical but it's usually over faster.Â
Popular-Tap5549@reddit
There was bullying at my boarding school it was just of the upper class variety. Proper and well mannered.
Adorable_Orange_195@reddit
Knew someone who worked in the nursery of an all girls boarding school-she mentioned in the main school there were high incidences of illegal substance abuse, eating disorders, hazing or bullying and sexual promiscuity including affairs with teachers.
Although looking back in the main stream school I attended these were almost all issues, they were rare and not the norm as they were according to that acquaintance at the private school she worked.
Didn’t make me inclined to consider it if I were to have children.
OkDonkey6524@reddit
Any school, boarding or otherwise, is essentially borstal.
Sea_Director_4439@reddit
It's where the F slur was born and rape was prevalent, not just bullying. Younger boys would get chosen to "f*t" for the older boys. I doubt it happens anymore but we're still a few decades away from breaking the generational trauma that still does massive damage to Paedo island.Â
Super-Craig@reddit
Bullying is a serious matter wherever and whenever it occurs. At home, in schools, the workplace, and nowadays especially on social media.
DameKumquat@reddit
Bullying sprouts up anywhere and everywhere. The systematic bullying of younger kids is long gone, but it will happen.
At my boarding school, my year had virtually no bullying - we were a tightknit bunch partly caused by one house mistress going mad and bullying (we were finally believed after she locked a bunch of girls up in the middle of the night, so they didn't turn up for tutor period). Other years, it happened sometimes. Boys schools tended to be worse when it happened.
Yorks59@reddit
Those stories and movies tend to talk about a much older time - boarding has changed a lot, but so has society (I don't imagine day schools were all that friendly then either).
There would tend to be a lot more focus on pastoral care, people to talk to, etc.
Of course, it's inevitable that kids living close together won't always get on - but more effort is now put into ensuring they are with people they like, and preventing any serious problems arising.
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