The boys are told to build a NUCLEAR WAR SHELTER in Clarkson’s cellar and survive in it for at least two weeks. They have 48 hours before the bombs drop.
Posted by c00b_Bit_Jerry@reddit | thegrandtour | View on Reddit | 38 comments
1) Can the boys gather enough food and building materials from Clarkson’s farm and the quickly-emptying supermarkets?
2) Is their shelter very good?
3) Who dies first and why?
Bluntbutnotonpurpose@reddit
Jezza will be ordering a million truckloads of concrete and the Hamster can oversee operations at the concrete plant. Meanwhile May will spend 47 hours naming his tools. What could possibly go wrong?
Lurks_in_the_cave@reddit
JAMES!!!!!
H_K-R@reddit
wot?
Lurks_in_the_cave@reddit
STOP FILING!!!
Plastic-Mud-8599@reddit
I'm not filing I'm looking for the bloody socket thingy!
Lurks_in_the_cave@reddit
NO!
letitia1959@reddit
Hammond will inevitably roll the cement mixer into a ditch on the way back to the farm. This leaves Clarkson trying to reinforce the entire cellar using only a hammer and some scrap metal. Meanwhile May is still meticulously organizing the tinned beans by alphabetical order right as the sirens go off.
kh250b1@reddit
Where is the car element in this?
Bluntbutnotonpurpose@reddit
Do we need to mention Seamen? Or the TG Vietnam special?
Besides, I'm sure they'll need cars to transport everything they need. I can see Jezza powersliding an AMG Merc into an off licence's parking lot....
c00b_Bit_Jerry@reddit (OP)
Clarkson Hammond and may.
WeaponsGradeYfronts@reddit
Threads vibes.
Georgie_Pillson1@reddit
Rape apologist.
xxulysses31xx@reddit
Threads has this exact set up for one family. Only the mum and dad survived the blast to get to it. Doors aren’t saving you from the fallout though as the film also proved.
anoftz@reddit
So does When the Wind Blows. "Built to govern-mental specifications, Ducks!"
universalserialbutt@reddit
A joyous film for all the family
H_K-R@reddit
A woman urinates on herself
JelenaBrela@reddit
Sand bags don’t work, mate.
CarGuyJohnOnRoute66@reddit
The father, the son, and the holy door!
JelenaBrela@reddit
This ⬆️ one gets it!
CarGuyJohnOnRoute66@reddit
That will stop an RPG!
NoobOfTheSquareTable@reddit
They do against broken glass and they give you cover when in a gunfight against the roving gangs of grans who are just waiting to go feral and start raiding survivor shelters
JelenaBrela@reddit
You don’t watch enough Top Gear.
Tits_McgeeD@reddit
They all decide to ship for all their needs, food, drink and comfort.
A miscommunication means they all went for drinks and have nothing but beer and gin to survive with.
Acrobatic_Set_8764@reddit
r/3008
StephenHunterUK@reddit
Ah, Protect and Survive. They were showing clips from the films the last time I went to Kelvedon Hatch bunker. This was a little while after Covid and we had a good laugh at them.
ApothecaryOfCoke77@reddit
I actually used that as inspiration in a Warhammer 40k campaign I ran! A planet was under attack by Orks and the local government was giving out totally ineffective and unrealistic advice like "Make your self look bigger,so they'll think you are stronger and run away! Remember,Orks are cowardly!"
StephenHunterUK@reddit
The Fallout: London mod is heavily inspired by it to the point of using the jingle from the videos in it.
The idea of Protect and Survive was that the leaflets and films were only supposed to be sent out/broadcast if a war broke out - people anticipated a gap between one starting and actualy nuclear use.
However, civil defence in the late 1970s/early1980s in the UK got seriously politicised at the time the US was planning to put cruise missiles in the UK[1]. You had Labour-run councils refusing to participate in exercises, because they believed planning for nuclear war made it more likely. Bits of the films got leaked to the press and the UK government eventually decided to sell the booklets. The announcer even turned up on the Frankie Goes to Hollywood song "Two Tribes".
[1]One of the two sites, Greenham Common in Berkshire, survives and was used for a "Communist Car" challenge in Top Gear. It's private property, used for storing new cars and also filming (including Star Wars), but you can see the bunkers from the old airfield that's now a big park.
feckarse-drinkgirls@reddit
The several hundered lesbians comment being a reference to the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND)
StephenHunterUK@reddit
The peace camps, yes. They were women-only. They wanted to present a contrast to the male-dominated base.
Dillsplosion@reddit
TONIGHT James has a door Hammond presses a launch button And I build a bunker
Low_Stress_9180@reddit
The blast risk is dead too close including collapsing buildings. Next issue is particulate radiation for at least a week. Staying away from short-lived radioactive nucleides that emit alpha rad is the big first hurdle.
Then the simple fact food production without fertilisers will be 1 to 2 billion at best (that's without any nuclear winter). 7 billion must die. Add in 1984 yields 10x that now less than a billion survive world wide.
People will eat people. Back to early medieval times. Old amd sick will be executed and made into stew.
ToeOk9665@reddit
At least the people paying the BBC licence fee won't be paying for it now.
Ahlfle@reddit
TONIGHT!! I harvest food from my farm “Yeassssss” Richard builds a shelter “The instructions are not clear…” and James dies first “CLARKSO-
nmann14@reddit
"oh look, it says here Secondary Target Chipsky Norton"
TepacheLoco@reddit
It'll be like that panorama doc where they spend all the time prepping one of these too then cut to a shot of the property being born to absolute smithereens
ZakFellows@reddit
Clarkson would build a self destruct mechanism, Richard would literally bury his head in the sand and May would be the one launching the first missle
ccReptilelord@reddit
One's of drinking, thinking this is all bullocks. One's spending far too much time concerning himself over quality of material and getting it done right; he's overlooked a crucial detail and will be incapacitated with wheels off the ground. The third one has bought a ridiculous American pickup to do the work, but arrived late and at the wrong location.
The drinking realist will attempt to fix everything with far too much horsepower at the last minute.
Candid-Shopping8773@reddit
You don't need to build this kind of thing ("inner refuge") in a cellar. Cellar protects well enough by itself even if not covered with earth and achieves nearly total protection if it does.
If radiation is so severe just protection with the cellar being partially underground not being enough, necessary sheltering time and inescapable irradiation during the quick trips outside during that time, will kill you anyway (which is possible but you've got to be extremely, extremely unlucky).