ULPT Request: how would you encourage squatters to leave your house?

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akOOch@reddit

Asian Andy has a YouTube video on how he dealt w a squatter in his sisters house and I highly recommend it. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

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ryn_1010@reddit

Do you still have the water and electricity connected?

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Deep-Hovercraft6716@reddit

In most places it's a crime to disconnect those while someone is living there. Even if they're technically a squatter.

I think it's actually kind of well known by the squatters that if someone turns off their power and water that they have a slam dunk lawsuit.

So if you do this and the squatters are savvy they will end up making a big payday off of you.

Turning off the power and water is a huge No-No, no matter what the other disputes are going on. It's a matter of public safety.

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deltadeltadawn@reddit

If you are not aware there are squatters, and it's your vacant house, can you stop utilities?

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Deep-Hovercraft6716@reddit

No because you know the house isn't vacant.

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Here in my city in North Louisiana three different apartment complexes that were formerly low income, didn't pay their city taxes because their corporations. So the city did in fact cut off the water and the power. The people who didn't leave, became squatters. They did not have any right to sue anyone. Now that might be different in California where the bleeding hearts live but your mileage may vary.

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Aetheldrake@reddit

"I didn't know someone was there illegally. I don't have anyone renting it and nobody should be there"?

That's IF they havnt mentioned it to anyone

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ArtaxIsAlive@reddit

Hire a squatter “actor” to go infiltrate the house and get them to leave.

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Sloth_grl@reddit

Yes. He can act like a dick and annoy the shit out of them. And he needs a gun because they maybe felons

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Haggis_HotPocket@reddit

So… who doesn’t have a gun? We’re all packing

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Sloth_grl@reddit

Not me.

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NaptownSnowman@reddit

This is the way. Make sure you have a documented rental agreement for them.

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headnt8888@reddit

Leave a bag of snakes inside.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

Surprise snakes

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QualityKatie@reddit

Fill the house with crickets, too.

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hkhunterkiller1984@reddit

Wait nearby until they leave, go in and change the locks.

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QualityKatie@reddit

A family member tried this method. It did not work. Squatters got back into house and changed the locks again.

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eggington69@reddit

This can be illegal. If they establish tenants rights you can’t just deny access to the property. You have to get them to leave on their own or go through the eviction process.

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HugsandHate@reddit

Providing they all leave at once. This would be the perfect solution.

But my money being on the fact that they're squatters, is that they never all leave together, and post someone up in the house to keep it occupied.

At least. That's what I'd do. Seems obvious.

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Nakedvballplayer@reddit

From past experience, folks don't like to be around naked people; find a local nudist or two to move in. Have them stay in common areas, always out n proud. Watch the squatters run. I'm in Ontario if you want help...

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Impressive-Crab2251@reddit

That is what I would do, but what if they like it???

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Nakedvballplayer@reddit

Then you've made a new friend? I've been a nudist for abt 15yrs now, and rarely do I meet another out in the wild...my money would be on them not reacting well

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foosballallah@reddit

Call the police and SWAT them.

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Human-Contribution16@reddit

I had a guy who wouldnt leave. I had the door sealed with three penny nails. It was winter in the mountains so I disabled the heater. Still there. He accidentally set the house on fire. No roof, frozen soaked water everywhere. Still there. I called the county and told them I thought it was a danger for children and asked they condemn it. They did. Still there. I called my friend in the Sherrif Dept. He said - "Its condemned? Ill wait while he packs and he will be out in an hour."

The karma PS on this is he had a genuine Shelby Cobra in the garage which burned to the ground. I was happy to tell him that since he didnt live there I would not be claiming it as an insurance loss. FAFO

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DanGleeballs@reddit

Hmmm 🤔

An original 1960s Shelby Cobra typically sells for between $1 million and $3 million+, with rare models often exceeding $5 million at auction. Values depend heavily on provenance, engine type (289 vs. 427), and originality, with the very first Shelby Cobra, CSX2000, selling for $13.75 million in 2016.

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Human-Contribution16@reddit

I honestly never saw the car. For all I know it was just a chasis or a Volkswagen. Thats what the low life told me was there. I was helping him out while down on his luck and he not only refused to leave but then threatened to use California law to take my home because I was "harassing" him. Could have been a lie but I got great satisfaction thinking it was true.

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DanGleeballs@reddit

I think you know the answer now

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Human-Contribution16@reddit

The guy was a mental case.

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somethingmcbob@reddit

Rent a room in the house to a drummer.

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Ohaibaipolar@reddit

And someone who plays one of those recorders, they're kind of like a flute? But play them badly, on purpose.

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Pyrateskum@reddit

Invent reasons to have law enforcement visit repeatedly. Make friends with the cops. Have weekend bbq for first responders.

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122922@reddit

Plant drugs in the house, call police.

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Ohaibaipolar@reddit

"Officer I swear to you this kilo of cocaine isn't mine!"

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Broflake-Melter@reddit

befriending cops. perfect answer for this sub.

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Legitimate_Body5804@reddit

Typical landlord behavior

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Sudden-Motor-7794@reddit

I mean, it could be...

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Mindless_upbeat_0420@reddit

Cops are not friendly.

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shawntitanNJ@reddit

Contact your local motorcycle gang?

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AmexNomad@reddit

Post signs all over town advertising free food 24/7.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

Reminds me of the days of leaving posters around town with Chewbacca auditions and a phone number

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AmexNomad@reddit

My friend did the free food thing in SF and even did it in multiple languages depending on where he did the flier drops. My quasi husband and I (15 years later) still joke about comida gratis

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ConsciousProduce8798@reddit

Could you hire a big earth mover or demolition type thing to fake demolishing the house? Or make them think the house is on fire by having a fire outside close enough to smoke them out sort of thing? Something to do with sewerage might also help. Maybe you and five friends dress in Hazmat suits and pretend gas leak them out?

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ConsciousProduce8798@reddit

Have you considered going texas chainsaw massacre on them? Without the actual massacre part. Just the scare the shit out of them in a psychotic fashion part.

Wait for them to be asleep, then use your chainsaw as a key to the front door. You will have to replace the door but you'll for sure get them out. Be even better if you could have a second person with a chainsaw at other doors to really make them feel the fear. Don't hurt anyone at all. But make them think you will. Do like the cops do when they do surprise home visits. Have lots of loud noise and shouting. Maybe even use blinding torches in their faces and wear the most unsettling face masks you can find.

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exceive@reddit

That's called "assault." Assault is causing someone to fear battery. Battery is when you make actual contact.

There is an old law school example where somebody threatens to throw a rock at a guy, but misses and the rock hits another guy who was asleep. The thrower assaulted the first guy and committed battery on the sleeping guy.

I'm not sure about the laws where you live, but threatening people with a chainsaw could be quite illegal.

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ConsciousProduce8798@reddit

Australia. Probably illegal here too. I just thought it would work and I doubt the squatters would be the type of people who called the fuzz for help in these circumstances anyway. Plus I thought it was a better idea than a different commenter who suggested calling the fuzz and making shit up and wasting their time.

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Illustrious-Gas-9766@reddit

Give them a vacation. Change the locks.

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NarrowHamster7879@reddit

Check your local laws. I just googled Texas for fun and they just passed a rapid removal law in January. Just have to prove ownership

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Effective-Table6305@reddit

Tear gas

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sgt-llama@reddit

Burn them out

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CheapEbb2083@reddit

If "they" were to burn the house down, wouldn't insurance cover it?

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Matts3sons@reddit

Me and a couple unscrupulous friends bust in an ACTIVELY encourage them to go away for good!!!!!

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Wags9244@reddit

Remove the doors and windows

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dotnetdotcom@reddit

I saw this on a YT video... Rent the property to someone. The renter's rights will override that of the squatter's and you can force them out. Probably should consult a lawyer about it first.

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NaptownSnowman@reddit

No. Plausible deniability.

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Trolocakes@reddit

Fumigation

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Then_Bar8757@reddit

Skunk. Two if you can manage it.

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Ok_Giraffe_17@reddit

Send them some official looking document that says they are contest winners and have to claim the prize in person. Seal the door while they're gone. Maybe even pack up their stuff, if you're feeling generous.

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mrtsapostle@reddit

With a gun

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scotus1959@reddit

Cash for keys. Anything else will cost more and take longer.

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-GearZen-@reddit

Fear.

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Colonelmann@reddit

Move in with them, and 10 friends

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Shot-Bike-9323@reddit

where u at just hire 3 big dudes $300 ea for the hour to physically remove or threaten to at least

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Revolutionary-Half-3@reddit

It's like humane animal relocation, drop them off at 2am in the woods and let them find a new habitat.

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60sStratLover@reddit

They aren’t squatters. They are thieves that broke into my house. And I live in Texas. I’ll let you use your imagination from there.

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Thirsty4Knowledge911@reddit

I’m not suggesting this. I’m just wondering.

If someone who owned the home just shot them, claimed that they had broken in and threatened them, and then used the “Stand Your Ground” defense, what is the likelihood that they would be found innocent?

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Particular-Tax8106@reddit

Doesn’t that only apply in Castle Doctrine states or am I getting two things mixed up🤔

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ViolentSkyWizard@reddit

Two different things but often overlapping.

Castle doctrine is this is my castle (property) and you've breached it's walls I have a right to use whatever force I feel necessary.

Stand your ground means I have no duty to retreat prior to defending myself. In states without SYG you must prove you tried to deescalate retreat fine help etc, SYG is literal, stand your ground and protect yours and those around you.

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Particular-Tax8106@reddit

This is the most helpful explanation I’ve ever gotten. Thank you internet stranger!

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ViolentSkyWizard@reddit

You could look into "Duty to Retreat" mostly the nuance is in castle (home) SYG (public) legally you can't be required to turn your back to your attacker/threat.

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Thirsty4Knowledge911@reddit

All 50 US states have some form of Castle Doctrine, which means there is no “Duty to retreat” inside your own home.

Now the problem is when you call the police and the intruders claim squatter’s rights, it becomes a civil matter and the police are helpless to intervene without a court order.

My scenario involves dealing with the intruders before contacting the police.

If all the intruders are dead and unable to testify against you, what are the chances that you would be convicted of a crime?

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SufficientOpening218@reddit

money. like, talk to them, tell them you will give them each $300 or whatever, have the locksmith and or board up service on call and ready to go.

they walk out, you hand them the cash, the locksmith moves in

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8888eightyeight@reddit

Obviously like others have said consult a lawyer and what state are you in at least?

I saw a great idea on here one time that said remove the door for repairs and make it take a couple days They won't want to live somewhere with no door

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eggington69@reddit

Don’t do anything illegal—that could make things harder for you in the long run. Look into tenancy laws for your state but I’m guessing if you have to ask for advice on getting them out that means they already have tenancy rights (if they don’t then just get the police to remove them for trespass). These laws probably mean you cannot deny/block their access to the property, you cannot remove their belongings and put them out on the curb, and you cannot shut off heat/water (you can double check if all that applies to your situation, I’m just talking generally).

The tip here is to get them to choose to leave. Honestly, the easiest way sometimes is to pay them, like say you’ll give them $500 if they get out. Maybe give $100 if they agree to it and the rest of the money once they’ve packed up and left. Maybe get the deal in writing too but idk about that.

Other than that definitely shut off WiFi, and get creative with making it a place they don’t want to stay. That doesn’t mean do things that will force them out, but just make it less convenient for them to stay.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

I saw a fellow who hired a guy to move in with the squatters. Gave him a lease and all.

Fella moved in. He told the people there that if they don't like it, evict him.

They moved out after he was a very inconsiderate roommate.

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eggington69@reddit

That can work too. But it’s worth seeing if they’d negotiate first. If they’ll take $500 or even $1k to move out it might still be cheaper than hiring one of those guys. And if they’re homeless and/or addicts there’s a chance that no matter how bad it is living with that other guy that it’s STILL better than whatever alternatives they have.

My real advice would be to start consulting with a lawyer now, then offer them cash to move out while your lawyer starts working on the eviction process, and then either that works or you’re ready to go with eviction notice. Ik that’s not really an unethical tip, but imo the legal route is occasionally the most effective.

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Twitch-x@reddit

Hire a few large guys to remove them.

Move in with them. Make their lives hell.

Shut off all utilities.

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BildoBaggens@reddit

The law is not on your side, but its your house. Round up a few rough bikers, explain your situation to them. $500 on the line for 3 of them. Roll to your house and kick in the front door. Forcefully remove them. Fix the door, change the locks.

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unsubstalker@reddit

a whole bunch of illegal things

gif

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FlipMyWigBaby@reddit

Get your biggest meanest ugliest friend-of-a-friend a ‘new tenant lease’ from actual landlord. Have that person show up with their ‘valid’ lease, and then call the cops about squatters disturbing the peace at the residence. When (if?) cops show up, they see this person with a valid rental agreement standing outside while the squatters have no documentation. Though the attending cops will probably try to pass it off as a ‘civil matter’ you now have a police record of incident.

My extended family has 1%’ers and gangsters scattered about, but they all respect my property owning grandmother, and would never attempt a reverse UNO card maneuver on her and attempt to turn that agreement into their own squat tenancy

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Sharkhous@reddit

Move in with them, or hire someone who gives no fucks to do so.

It's peaceful and the most effective method in many situations

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Mackheath1@reddit

I seem to recall a guy on TV or YT or whatever that would do this for a fee: make the squatter miserable for a couple days.

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Deep-Hovercraft6716@reddit

The big thing that he does is he brings his legally owned firearms into the house which makes it so anybody who is in the house and has a criminal history is now in violation of their parole or various laws.

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lisavfr@reddit

AsianAndy is his name.

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Intrepid_Bobcat_2931@reddit

yeah, it is not illegal for you or a very antisocial person to move in.

If he should happen to chainsaw holes in all the doors and play Ram Ranch a lot, then that's just a part of life.

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C4PT-pA5Tq@reddit

Really loud and terrible music playing nonstop. Remove the doors. Cut and lockout power and water. Make a whole in the exterior wall.

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piscesinfla@reddit

In Florida, a landlord does not have to provide air conditioning. I had my neighbor disconnect the A/C from the outside. This was in Aug. In South Florida. The squatter left within a week.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

Didn't know that! Useful to know

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piscesinfla@reddit

Check your local/county/state statutes on what a landlord needs to provide.

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PaleBlueEyes70@reddit

Very loud bagpipe music 24/7. Only a really drunk Scotsman could handle it.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

Oh actually, you just reminded me of a funny story.

So when I was 15 or so, I think this was like 2005 or 6.

I had an iPod and one of those FM radio transmitters. Connected into the 30 pin port at the bottom.

There's this fella at Walmart who was in an antiquated boxy cadillac, blasting the radio station "Hot 97" in the parking lot. He was sitting in the driver's seat but with the doors open and with him sitting it's legs facing out. Chillin.

Well, I tuned that FM transmitter to 97.1 and got close to the antenna on the other side.

Played a pipers journey and Scotland the Brave.

He couldn't reach his radio fast enough. He also couldn't figure out what was going on since this was fairly new stuff.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

I should move in.

My wife makes fun of me for owning CDs of bagpipe music.

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rojoshow13@reddit

It depends on the scenario. If I had a house that I was renting and they stopped paying rent, but stayed. I would just go through the legal process of eviction and have deputies remove them. If I owned a house or bought a house and some people just let themselves in and were living there univited. Well they're gonna GTFO or I might Hulk the fuck out.

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himitsuuu@reddit

Shut off all utilities. Have the water heater and furnace removed. Do the bare minimum to get the place condemned.

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Snicklefraust@reddit

Thats illegal for OP to do in most places. Im here for unethical, but that will just get them arrested and the squatters will stay put. Ideally you find a different empty house, a nicer empty house and convince them to go there. Uhauls are cheap, show up with it and tell them we're going down the street.

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dotnetdotcom@reddit

That's why my suggestion to rent the property might work. As the landlord, you are constrained by laws about evicting people. If you rent it, the legal protections then cover the renter, not the squatter.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

I heard about a fellow who hired somebody to do just that. He moved in, was a terrible terrible roommate, and they moved out.

Blasting music at 2:00 a.m. getting loud drunk and singing, leaving trash everywhere, cooking the most repugnant smelling foods, you name it.

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KinkMountainMoney@reddit

Indoor marching band practice. Cops-only gang bang. Durian juggling competition. Start an underground snapping turtle breeding operation. Amateur taxidermy conventions.

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Seannj222@reddit (OP)

I know just the blonde female former cop to call for that.

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snickrsnak@reddit

If you give the house to the squatters, you will no longer have squatters.

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No-Break-5748@reddit

If the squatters have a felony record and you have a CCW, hang around and then call the cops, convicted felons should not be around firearms

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pronouncedayayron@reddit

Bug bombs. Fumigate them out like any other pest

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JeffSergeant@reddit

The bible should guide you...

Locusts

Flies

Frogs

Blood etc..

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chickyloo42by10@reddit

Ooo don’t forget boils!

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Intrepid_Bobcat_2931@reddit

boils are very underrated. People keep talking about floods and earthquakes but boils are the real deal.

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Infection: The gift that keeps on giving.

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JeffSergeant@reddit

I'm not sure how to inflict boils on squatters, I have a plan for the rest.

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Better-Lunch670@reddit

Lucky for you, most squatters already have that one covered.

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DuckRubberDuck@reddit

Just set the house on fire. Problem solved immediately.

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Ivabighairy1@reddit

They are your children. Encourage them to go to college out of state when they are old enough.

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Ubermel@reddit

Just hire someone to take a shit in their beds regularly.

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ResolveConfident3522@reddit

People pay a guy to squat on the squatters.

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ExpiredPilot@reddit

Fire blanks in your house and random points in the night

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howrunowgoodnyou@reddit

Paintball gun. Taser. Adopt super mean pit bulls and let them lose in the house.

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old_mans_ghost@reddit

Baseball bat

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Fr33speechisdeAd@reddit

Rent a biker gang.

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buttersofthands@reddit

Join them in squatting in the house then become a roommate from hell.

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DuckRubberDuck@reddit

OP where do you live? Laws are different in different countries. In my country I would just call the police if they were illegal

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NegotiationLow2783@reddit

I've got a good friend that is a 1%er with the Outlaws, I'd give him a call.

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Haunting-Hippo-4244@reddit

Call 911 and report a break in just before you go in and start kicking their asses.

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RealCanadianMonkey@reddit

Move to a country that isn't third world.

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Heavy-Locksmith-3767@reddit

With a baseball bat.

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danibeat@reddit

Move the fuck in.

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Capable_Victory_7807@reddit

Remove all the doors

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stabbingrabbit@reddit

You board up all the windows except one to the room they are in, then you board up the door to the room so the only way out is through the window. Carry proof that it is your house. Start this around 4am . Once they leave board up the last window. If they break in call police for breaking and entering.

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