Is it common for Asian and Latina women in the US to change their last names after marriage?
Posted by NoHold7153@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 176 comments
I know in their cultures it’s not traditional for women to change their last name after marriage. But do Asian and Latina women in the US change their names after getting married like many people in the US do or do they typically keep their last names when they get married?
Maybeitsmeraving@reddit
I got married this month and the level of expectation that I'd change my name surprised me. When we applied for the license the clerk made a comment about "getting that new last name" and seemed really affronted when I said I wasn't changing it. The security guard at the courthouse made a comment about if I was ready for my new name. When I dropped off the signed and completed license, the clerk there told me where and how to go change my name and when I said I wasn't going to, she showed visible frustration, explained again how to do it, told me I had a year incase I "changed my mind" with a level of emphasis that seemed like she really hoped I'd come to my senses in the next year. And I live in a pretty progressive city in a purple state.
Ms-Metal@reddit
That's wild! I'm sorry you experienced that. I got married almost 40 years ago and back then in the '80s, hardly anybody was changing their name. So it wasn't unusual at all to keep your name and sadly what I've seen is a backlash over the last 20 years or so where more young women are choosing to change their names. So sad. But I wonder if they were just used to that. In the 40 years since I've gotten married I've lived in a really liberal city for about 20 years and now same as you, a purple state but unfortunately in the most conservative part of that state but honestly I haven't seen a difference in how I've been treated name wise in either place. Everyone has accepted it, I've never once had an issue in 40 years. That's just awful that people were giving you a hard time. I am truly shocked at some of the stuff I'm reading in here. One woman says she was given a hard time by her pharmacy for having a different last name than her husband who had the insurance. That's just completely insane to me! I literally have not had a problem in 40 years and I pick up both of our prescriptions under two different names. I've never had anybody be confused, I've never had anybody question it, in fact even though I'm in a very conservative area if I'm doing something where they need to know both of our names they usually ask 'same last name'? I say no and give them his last name and I've never once received any kind of judgment or flak for it, but it really seems like there's been a resurgence of young women taking their husband's name in the last 20 years.
nueroticalyme@reddit
Many hispanic/ latina women will use a hyphenated name with both maiden and married name. First, middle, maiden-married.
SoundsOfKepler@reddit
Much of the United States makes it difficult to have more than three (first, middle, surname) on official documents, which runs counter to the naming conventions in much of Latin America, where people have multiple family names on ID, so hyphenating works around that.
nueroticalyme@reddit
The oposite end of this problem is that it is difficult to have only two names. My dad joined the military in the 70's and could not complete his enlistment with his middle name left blank. He did not have a middle name. So for the rest of his life, and even after his death, he/we got mail for John None Doe. Name changed for privacy*
Columbiyeah@reddit
In my time in the military 20 years ago we used "NMN" on official forms, for "no middle name".
Ms-Metal@reddit
In the olden days, there was no standard and everybody's computers did something different for no middle name. I got married almost 40 years ago and I don't have a middle name and I kept my first name, which was not a problem at all, never a question or issue with having my own last name in 40 years, but the number of variations I have had for a middle name is nuts! Probably going on 100 different variations I've seen and they should all be blank! Now it's more of a standard to use NMN, but back around the time computers were just becoming common, it was the wild west and every single place did something different. I still get every variation under the sun in the mail.
Ms-Metal@reddit
I feel that pain. I also don't have a middle name and yeah I get so many variations of none or nmn or made up middle initials that I've never had, it's wild! I've also been married for almost 40 years and didn't change my name and have never once had a problem because of that. But I've had probably a hundred different variations of a middle name that I do not have lol.
bluecifer7@reddit
This is similar to Ulysses S Grant where the S is literally just an S, it’s not short for anything
Ms-Metal@reddit
Yeah, when I got married, I hyphenated for about 9 months before I realized what a cluster that was and I changed it back to my birth name. But you only get one freebie, so in order to change it back to my birth name, I had to pay a fee, get 2 witnesses to come with me and go to name change Court to get my birth name back. At name change court you have to watch every single case before you. There was a Latin American woman who had like an eight-name long name, so when she was required to recite it, everybody kind of chuckled because we all were thinking oh my gosh if I had that name, I would want to change it too, so we all kind of understood why she wanted to change her name. Or so we thought. When she explained to the judge what she wanted her new name to be, she was actually adding a name, not deleting one😯, so she went from approximately 8 names to 9. Nobody could believe it. I was really young at the time though and I did not know that that was their tradition.
Equivalent-Cicada165@reddit
To get around that, my dad made his mother's name his middle name. My mother has a middle name so she couldn't do that. It was the 70s and 80s
Khpatton@reddit
I’m not sure how true this is anymore (I know it was historically). I’m a teacher of mostly Hispanic students, and nearly all of them legally have four names with no hyphens. All of their registration documents do, too—medical records, proof of residence, etc.
SoundsOfKepler@reddit
That's good to know. I wonder how much it varies based on location.
Federal_Orchid_5391@reddit
I have a space instead of a hyphen. I haven’t had any issues yet!
Gloomy-Difference-51@reddit
It's normal for women to change their name, but it's also normal for them to keep their name.
markuus99@reddit
Still surprising how entrenched and expected it is for a woman to change her name. My wife kept her name, and she receives surprise/confusion from people about it all the time, even in this day and age and even living in a liberal area (metro Boston area).
Broad_Tie9383@reddit
I had a pharmacist in North Carolina hesitate to fill something because she didn't believe I was on my husband's insurance because our names were different. She gave me a lot of side eye about it. Only time I've really felt judged; otherwise it's mostly just surprise and not knowing how to deal with it. The school got used to it eventually, but they still send all communications to me and I have to ask to get my husband added to class mailing/text lists almost every year. Really didn't expect to still be fighting that battle in this day and age in the DC area. It's just not hard to email both parents.
Ms-Metal@reddit
That is absolutely crazy! I've been married almost 40 years and I kept my own name, I have never once run into an issue with anybody! That's absolutely Wild then you had that experience at the pharmacy! In fact I regularly pick up both of our prescriptions with our different names and nobody has ever said the word. About half that time I lived in a liberal area on the other half I've lived in a conservative area and in neither case have I ever had anybody question it, not even once! I'm sorry you're having to experience that, that is insane!
Ms-Metal@reddit
That's surprising. I kept my own name, I got married almost 40 years ago and nobody has ever said anything about it in 40 years. In fact most people these days ask when they're taking names for something if my husband has the same last name, Lake of the doctor's office or something and I just say no and then ask for his name and that's that. The weird part is I live in a very conservative area. I did live in a very liberal area for about half that time and a conservative area for the other half and neither one ever had an issue with it. But back when I kept my name in the eighties it was a lot more common for women to keep their own name. It seems like it's swung back the other way so if your wife is Young I can kind of see people being surprised by it because it's rare than it used to be.
iwishiwasamoose@reddit
Yeah, my wife kept her name too, but people who know me have a habit of calling her by my last name, even after being corrected. Even some people who knew us separately, before we got together, seem to switch over to calling her by my last name.
Terrible_Positive403@reddit
And all sorts of things in between. Sometimes both partners change their name to a hyphenated form. Sometimes both partners change their name to a new name entirely. Sometimes a woman will keep her name professionally and legally while socially going by her spouse’s name.
WestBrink@reddit
We discussed combining our names, but it would have ended up as "Boink" and... yeah I don't know how well that would have gone over...
Ms-Metal@reddit
Haha, nobody would ever forget you lol.
jvc1011@reddit
It would have been so much fun though.
justdisa@reddit
I knew a couple who did that. They both had eastern European surnames that a lot of people struggled with, so they took the first syllable of his and the last syllable of hers and made something new and easier to pronounce.
Maronita2025@reddit
I used to work at SSA and one man called to get a replacement SSN card because he was getting married and HE was taking his WIFE's last name. He had a name like Adolph Hitler but worse and since he was in the U.S. he didn't want problems.
MortimerDongle@reddit
How is that possible?
spintool1995@reddit
Satan Childfucker?
eyetracker@reddit
Worse would be using the actual spelling rather than the name of the guy who brought us the crisp taste of a Coors Banquet.
ParadoxPath@reddit
Yeah stop Stallin and tell us the worse name
lakehop@reddit
Name must have been Laden with bad meaning
Maronita2025@reddit
I don't understand what you mean!
jvc1011@reddit
Pol Pot? Genghis Khan? Henry VIII?
How much worse can you get than Hitler? Adolf Shitler?
Maronita2025@reddit
Lot more recent
philplant@reddit
Idi Amin? Bin Laden? Osama?
Maronita2025@reddit
Yes.
philplant@reddit
Im assuming osama?
agloomysunday@reddit
What could be worse than that??
Ana_Na_Moose@reddit
“Normal” has multiple definitions. I think it was obvious that OP was using the one describing typicality, not the one assigning moral judgment
MortimerDongle@reddit
"Asian" is far too broad, Japanese women do typically change their names upon marriage (it's mandatory for a married couple to have the same last name).
But yes, it's common for American women of all ethnicities to change their last names, even if descended from a culture that typically does not.
royalhawk345@reddit
Common-ish, but it depends on age and education. I can count on one hand the number of women I know who took their husband's name.
AlarmedWillow4515@reddit
That's wild. I'm a highly educated professional woman and I know almost no women who kept their last name. Very few. It's just a hassle.
Ms-Metal@reddit
Weird. Exact opposite here. Well not highly educated but highly accomplished professional woman. Although I got married in the '80s. I didn't know one woman who changed her name! There's really been a swing back the other way. But I don't know why it would be a hassle🤷♀️ been married almost 40 years, I'm the same person with the same name I always was and so is he. Never been a problem! I would think changing it would be a much bigger hassle!
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
My wife took my last name because it's much easier to spell. There wasn't any pressure from me to do so.
rikaleeta@reddit
That's the boat I'm in. My name is Slavic and I have to break out the phonetic alphabet (v as in Victor etc) and people STILL spell it wrong. My soon-to-be fiance's name is 4 letters and fairly common lol
AlarmedWillow4515@reddit
That's why I took my husband's last name. My maiden name was thirteen letters and very German. My husband's last name was an easy six-letter name that sounded good with my first name. It was also important to me to have the same name as my husband and kids, although we could have picked my maiden name or made up a last name if we preferred. Twenty-eight years later, I'm happy with my choice.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
She did the same for her middle name.
WestBrink@reddit
You know less than five women who took their husband's name? I'm in my mid 30s and I know... literally hundreds. Even most of the women engineers I work with took their husband's name.
Broad_Tie9383@reddit
I barely know anyone who kept their name. I keep trying to convince them not to change, but even my Korean friend did it (she was worried about her green card if she didn't). So far, it's just me and my cousin who told everyone she changed it, but didn't legally.
jvc1011@reddit
You don’t even work with any women who have the same name as their spouse? Do you have kids? Their parents, their teachers?
Ms-Metal@reddit
I didn't tho there were some people at work who had the same name, but they were a generation or two apart from me. Contemporaries, no, nobody changed their names in the 80s. Not career women anyway. I don't have kids though and I don't know anybody who has kids with very few exceptions.
Ms-Metal@reddit
That's weird why would she be worried about her green card? I had a green card when I got married I think I still have it, I can't remember exactly it was 40 years ago but wouldn't have made any difference at all. I would think that changing your name would be more concerning. If you keep your name you're matching the name on your green card lol. But I got married in the '80s when nobody changed their names.
ExMOnotwiththeflow@reddit
Sounds like none of your business.
Broad_Tie9383@reddit
They asked
Ms-Metal@reddit
I believe her. Because that's my experience as well! I got married in the '80s and almost nobody book their husband's name back then. I didn't know one woman who took her husband's name. Other than people my parents age. So yeah, very uncommon back then. Seems more, now unfortunately. But of course we tend to know people like us and I had a high level career as did most of the women I knew.
Ms-Metal@reddit
Exactly. I got married in the '80s and it's actually kind of shocking that so many more women now are taking their husband's name then back then. I literally do not know one woman who took her husband's name other than people my parents age. Unfortunately it seems like more young women are choosing to do it now, I have no idea why! Hopefully the Save Act will stop it. But to answer the OP's question, it totally depends on the person, some do some don't. Kind of like every other question that's asked here.
General-Winter547@reddit
I’ve met two professionals in my field who did a hyphenated last name with their spouse, 1 male and 1 female; literally every other married woman I’ve worked with in 14 years had taken the name of their husband; and this includes a few who kept their ex-husbands name after a divorce.
spintool1995@reddit
I know multiple women who have kept using their maiden name professionally, because it's basically their brand, even though they changed it legally.
Puzzleheaded_Lie6786@reddit
Same… and I’m one of those women who kept the last name of her ex-husband. We didn’t end on bad terms and I created a brand around that last name, so I kept it.
-Moose_Soup-@reddit
It's also just a pain in the ass, especially if you have kids with their father's last name. My parents did not divorce amicably, but my mom still kept his last name until she remarried almost 20 years later.
nightjarre@reddit
My friend and her mom used to get stopped at the airport, doctor's office, school, etc all the time bc she had her dad's last name and her mom (who did not look like her) kept her maiden name
ImmediateAd7069@reddit
Same. I live in Oregon and am ~40. I personally know very few women that changed their last name. The ones who married super young did, but have since divorced and say they won't be changing ever again.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
With the SAVE act having a possibility of passing, fewer women in the US are going to change their names, no matter the cultural background.
I think anything that was typical in the past is no longer going to be typical.
NeverRarelySometimes@reddit
It is really handy to have the same surname as your children in the US.
nightterrors644@reddit
Eh not that necessary. I got two that don't have my surname and no one questions it. Though one uses mine at school.
jigokubi@reddit
I don't think my wife ever officially changed her name on her family register.
NeverRarelySometimes@reddit
What is a "family register"? Is it a government document? Something that's private to the family?
jigokubi@reddit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koseki
DecadesLaterKid@reddit
I believe it was mandatory/automatic for women in the Philippines to change their names until relatively recently, as well.
RelevantJackWhite@reddit
Asia: a large and diverse place. Who knew?
terrovek3@reddit
"Are you Chinese, or Japanese?"
Rourensu@reddit
Laotian
Upset-Nothing1321@reddit
The ocean? What ocean?
IamGleemonex@reddit
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
Mackie_Messy@reddit
He's Laotian, ain't ya, Mister Kahn??
JasminJaded@reddit
Just because it has over half the world’s population and is gigantic? So picky!
/s
beamerpook@reddit
I'm Asian, married to American, and yes, I changed my name.
It's really funny when they call out for Anna Smith and keep looking when I stand up
CommandAlternative10@reddit
White women who marry Asian men and change their names are fun too. I know a blonde hair, blue eyed Matsumoto. We met at work and I only knew her on the phone for years We finally had an in-person meeting and she was not what I expected!
boopbaboop@reddit
One of the professors at my grad school had a very Asian last name (think "Chang" or "Wong"). I didn't find out until my last year that she was a white American who'd taken her husband's surname.
Quenzayne@reddit
There’s a Seinfeld episode about that. White Roman whose last name is Chang or something.
TheyMakeMeWearPants@reddit
I worked with a black guy whose last name was not at all derived from Japanese, but very much looked like it was when written down (think Vinimoto or something similar). He said people were often baffled when he showed up for appointments.
abstractraj@reddit
Yup. I know a white Funabashi
jvc1011@reddit
I don’t reveal friends’ names, but I know a few white people with Asian last names, and Japanese-American women with Jewish and Irish last names too.
bryku@reddit
I worked with a guy in a similar situation.
His great grand father or something was one of the first japanese immigrants to the USA. However, every descendant married someone white, so he looks white. Yet his last name is as japanese as you can get and he always gets the questionable look.
Available-Egg-2380@reddit
I married an Asian man and I get a lot of confused medical professionals that recognize the last name and are looking for an Asian woman lol
Quenzayne@reddit
American Latinas will change their names or hyphenate. Women from Latin America tend not to.
My wife (Chilean) and I were married while we lived in Chile and she wanted to change her name when we moved here but we never got around to it. The kids only have my last name though, which made visa paperwork and such a lot easier.
bizoticallyyours83@reddit
My mom did when she married my step-dad.
Raibean@reddit
Mexican-American woman here.
Traditionally in Latin American countries, married women won’t change their legal name but will go by their husband’s name socially or append it to their first surname (usually their father’s).
In the US, there is a divide: families who have been here longer will only pass down one name (usually the father’s) and women will often change their name upon marriage, while families who have not been here as long will pass down two names and often not change their surname.
For the record, the Mexican side of my family most recently immigrated in the 1910s. The women did change their names upon marriage and gave their children the father’s name. I’m the first one to not change my name and I plan to pass down my surname.
natnat1919@reddit
I will not be. I think it’s the most bogus American tradition. Like let me go inconvenience myself to change all my paperwork, also my mom went through so many hardships, it feels like a slap on the face to remove her last name.
natnat1919@reddit
FYI! Latina
Batgirl_III@reddit
My spouse is Indonesian. They didn’t have a last name.
PhotojournalistNew6@reddit
How do they tell each other apart? Like if your name was the Indonesian version of Mark how do they tell the difference between you and all the other Marks?
wittyrepartees@reddit
What I've learned working with people's data is: across the world, there's no consistent rule about how many names people have, what order they come in, how they are passed down. Assuming that people have names isn't even a given.
turkeybuzzard4077@reddit
Out of curiosity, what not vaguely (or very obviously) traumatic reasons do you run into for having no name?
wittyrepartees@reddit
It's pretty uncommon for this to happen without trauma in the modern day. However, the traumatic versions do come up- neglected kids with no names or no official names are an obvious one. Apparently this came up sometimes during the blitz in WW2, when the government was evacuating kids from slums. The only other example I can think of is ancient Rome - women didn't have any given names, they were just "so and so's second daughter". In most situations, people end up with some sort of unofficial calling name, even if it's like "ginger" or "kiddo", but it does become a bit hard to pin down something specific as a first name then.
turkeybuzzard4077@reddit
My grandfather was Cajun and born in the fairly early 1900s, at the time record keeping in Louisiana was spotty; veryone had a name in general but consistency in how it was written didn't happen and it was before birth certificates. Come close to the end of WWII and Paw Paw is registering for the draft:
Draft board: What's your name son?
PP: Jean Batiste (last name)
DB: John De Baptist (last name)
DB: seems legit, and files the paperwork
When the army says your name is John De Baptist that's what you are... problem was he had a younger brother called John, so when he got home he went by JB and signed his name John B (last name). That discussion with relevant authorities was a fun time when he passed away, but we have that draft card framed to commemorate the absurdity.
I claimed the name for my child and in order to avoid that same issue replaced Batiste with a B name from my hands favorite book series.
wittyrepartees@reddit
Christ, yeah, that must have created a lot of red tape at the pension office. That's a fantastic story though.
turkeybuzzard4077@reddit
For the death certificate we brought the multiple different names and said pick you favorite, they decided on John B
wittyrepartees@reddit
The "De" part of the name keeps cracking me up.
turkeybuzzard4077@reddit
Same, we tell the story fairly often because of questions about where my child's name came from and the "de" part usually takes whoever asks out.
wittyrepartees@reddit
I actually know someone whose parents took 6 months to name her youngest brother because they couldn't get their shit together, and even then they were like "oh, actually, we don't like the one we chose, let's rename him". Parents of the year, right?! He's got a name now, obviously, but he was "unnamed child #3" for a while there.
Batgirl_III@reddit
My spouse is Indonesian. Like many Indonesians, they don’t have a surname at all… They adopted one when they moved to the United States as a child, but never really felt any connection to it. When we got married, they decided to take my family surname as their new legal surname. I’m English. (Very English… as in Anglo-Saxon. My family is recorded in the Domesday Book.)
There are over 700 languages native to Indonesia and the Indonesian government recognizes 1,331 distinct ethnic groups. So it’s pretty much impossible to make any sweeping generalizations about the people there (other than to say that they are stupendously multilingual). Most of the western Indonesian ethnic groups, including the majority Javanese and Sundanese, traditionally do not use surnames, only given names. Conversely, over in eastern Indonesiagroups like the Batak, Nias, and Minahasa, commonly use family names, tribal or clan names.
In official records, like a birth certificate, people from mononymic (one name) cultures will be written as something akin to “Adam, child of Bob and Christine.” On things like, say, a passport they will just be “Adam.”
Obviously, there’s a lot more to it than that. But that’s good enough for a Reddit post.
wittyrepartees@reddit
Big Adam from levittown, child of Bob from Newark and Christine from Lansdale.
bluecifer7@reddit
Big Adam, son of Bob, grandson of Small Adam
wittyrepartees@reddit
Big Adam who lives on the mountain.
My husband's last name is Crabtree, and I like to imagine the glorious crabapple that some random ancestor of his must have had the day they were told they needed last names.
MortimerDongle@reddit
The same way you tell apart two Americans named John Smith
kreativegaming@reddit
By their birth marks....
WritPositWrit@reddit
What
MortimerDongle@reddit
Most Indonesians don't have a surname
WritPositWrit@reddit
They have last names though, right?. I think the other person meant they dont have a common hereditary family name (aka surname) like we do in the US. So their traditions around taking a name in marriage may be different. Id like to hear more about that.
Khpatton@reddit
No, that commenter said what they meant, and they’re correct. Why are you speculating (and correcting them, at that) when you don’t know anything about Indonesian names?
WritPositWrit@reddit
I was speculating because the original commenter never replied to explain, so i was left to guess. Im happy to be corrected. Correct information is what i wanted, after all.
Outlaw_Josie_Snails@reddit
No, they generally only have a mononym, a single name by which a person is known.
Or, they have patronymics; some add their father’s name. For example, Megawati Sukarnoputri means "Megawati, daughter of Sukarno."
wittyrepartees@reddit
Nah. Plenty of cultures don't have last names or surnames (surnames come first in a lot of Asia). Last names didn't exist in Europe for common people until like... The 1500s I think. That's just big Steve from Saxony! Little Steve the cowherd lives down the way. Young Steve is big Steve's kid.
MortimerDongle@reddit
Indonesian names are legally a single name regardless of how many words are in the name. But many Indonesians do have a full name that is only a single word.
screamingairwaves@reddit
How did they have an ID or social?
Batgirl_III@reddit
Well, when they lived in Indonesia… They did it just like every other Indonesian.
Since becoming a naturalized U.S. citizen… they do it like every other American.
bisquitsngravy@reddit
I didn’t change my name because I’m too lazy to go through the process
rawbface@reddit
You DID go through the process. If you got married, you wrote your new name on your marriage license application.
To change your name, all you had to do was write a different name. If you chose to write the same one, that's on you.
bisquitsngravy@reddit
No I DID NOT. I did not go to the social security office and show them I got married and got a new card, pretty sure I did not go to the dmv to have my license changed. I’m also pretty sure I didn’t go to the bank to change my name.
Like I said, I’m too lazy to go through the process.
I didn’t even plan a wedding, we eloped.
bisquitsngravy@reddit
Usually you say “that’s on you” if someone is complaining about something they can control. I was not complaining, just saying I’m lazy
nomadschomad@reddit
If I’m really generalizing…
Many Latino cultures in the US hyphenate. Your two last names come from your grandfathers. So women don’t often change their name. And children have one last name in common with each parent.
Asian is very broad. Most Indian women I know didn’t change their name after marriage. Many East Asians did.
I would say it’s much more likely for a woman to change her name if she marries a white dude, even if that’s not as common in her culture
rawbface@reddit
Latina is too broad. Every Puerto Rican woman I know did in fact change their name.
HorseFeathersFur@reddit
Asia isn’t a country. There are 48 different countries in Asia, each with its own set of laws and unique culture. So how do you expect us to answer this question?
dcvo1986@reddit
My wife did the traditional (herlastname) de (mylastname)
WorthDust652@reddit
My Indian (Tamil) mom kept her last name (not actually a last name, but rather a patronym that gets treated as a last name in Western contexts), ignoring both the Tamil convention to change it to my father's first name and the Western convention to change it to my dad's last name (also a patronym instead of a family name).
Kichita1988@reddit
I changed my last name to my husband's after we got married, he's white and i'm viet. I felt it is worth the hassle since it is far easier for people to call me by my American last name compared to my maiden first and last name.
kimchiwursthapa@reddit
My Korean Mom took my German American Dad’s surname but my Mom is still a Korean national so she kept her maiden name on her Korean passport since that’s the norm in Korea. In Korea women keep their surnames and the children take their father’s surname. So my Mom has my Dad’s surname on her US green card and her South Korean passport has her maiden name.
jigokubi@reddit
(Notes username)
Broad_Tie9383@reddit
My MIL was kind of annoyed I didn't change my name; someone had told her it was a legal requirement in the US when she got married in the 70s or 80s (it wasn't and a lot of people didn't bother doing it legally, just socially). Apparently until pretty recently (90s maybe), Korean women who married non-Korean men also lost their citizenship. I know that was a thing in the US, but I think it stopped in the early 20th century.
kimchiwursthapa@reddit
My parents married in the early 1990s and my Mom was able to keep her Korean citizenship and has just had a green cars since immigrating in 1994. I am annoyed I can’t qualify for dual citizenship since they did not give Korean citizenship to children of Korean mothers and Foreign fathers until they reformed the law in 1998 when they gave Korean citizenship to children of at least one Korean national regardless of their gender. Since I was born in 1996 I don’t qualify. So I’m just a US citizen. However since I’m a guy I also don’t have Korean mandatory service because I’m not dual. When I studied abroad I knew a half Korean guy born in 99 and he had to do military service since he was dual. Since my Mom never renounced her Korean citizenship I don’t qualify for the F4 visa (overseas Korean/gyopo visa) which I find annoying since they only give that visa to people who were former Korean citizens who naturalized to a different citizenship or to children or grandchildren of renounced ex Korean nationals. Since my mom is still a ROK national I don’t qualify for F4. So when I’ve lived in Korea I’ve had to be on student or work visas.
Dai-The-Flu-@reddit
My wife is Latina (Mexican-American), she took my last name. She said it wasn’t a big deal not having a Spanish last name, and for what it’s worth my last name is Italian, not Anglo so it rolls off the tongue better with her first name.
greener_lantern@reddit
A survey from a couple of years ago found Latinas to be the least likely to change their name after marriage, with 30% reporting they kept their name. There weren’t enough Asian respondents to make a statistical observation.
tn00bz@reddit
As people are saying: it depends
But I can add some nuanced. I grew up in a Latino majority community and it is very common for people to have both parents last names, which is the convention in many Latin american countries. However, that tends to fade away the longer their families have been here.
My wife is a Latina, and she decided to just take my last name. I put no pressure on her to do so. She moved her maiden name to her middle name since she didnt have one.
qu33nof5pad35@reddit
It’s common, but my sister kept hers.
Beloved-Effective-98@reddit
I think moving the maiden name to the middle name can be common with American Hispanic woman
JadedDreams23@reddit
Not really relevant but I’m a white American woman who sorely regrets taking the name of both my now ex husbands. Don’t be like me. Keep your name and if he’s too insecure for that, you’ll have bigger problems in store.
giraflor@reddit
After I started dating again post-divorce, it was weird how many men were upset that I hadn’t changed my name or at least hyphenated when I was married. It became a great way to weed out dates with whom I was not going to be compatible.
Wunktacular@reddit
Define "their culture". People of all ethnic backgrounds typically participate in American culture, and women here typically take their husband's name.
PotatoSpirit007@reddit
Yeah I did to keep the peace in my household.
charcoal_kestrel@reddit
About 85% of native-born Latinas and Asian married women in the US take their husbands' surnames as compared to about 91% of black women and 94% of white women.
Hamilton, L., Geist, C., & Powell, B. (2011). Marital Name Change as a Window into Gender Attitudes. Gender & Society, 25(2), 145-175. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513x09344688
gator_mckluskie@reddit
yes, it’s normal for every woman to change their name to their husband’s name
Carinyosa99@reddit
No - plenty of Latina women never do, particularly if they are immigrants. I have three Latina sisters-in-laws and they got married here in the US and only one of them took their husband's last name. My mother-in-law remarried and also never changed her name (first marriage was in Latin America and she never changed her name there either).
screamingairwaves@reddit
Yes - it is normal. It is not abnormal if they do.
Carinyosa99@reddit
I think when it comes to Latino culture, it depends on how long their family has been in the US. Because I know plenty of women who have never changed their name once married, but most of them are newer to the US. Most Latino families in my area are immigrants or first generation. And I'm around a LOT of Latinos.
I just don't think you can make a generalization.
dobie_dobes@reddit
“Every woman”
BombardierIsTrash@reddit
It’s not super common in a lot of Asian cultures to change your last name upon marriage m. It just never was a thing culturally back home and a lot of younger folks who moved to America as a result just don’t do it. Not a single one of my Chinese or South Asian friends have done so. A lot of South East Asian cultures don’t even bother with a last name unless forced to by the government so they care even less. Japan might be the big exception in Asia to this. I think it’s mandatory there so I it’s culturally engrained.
On the other hand most of my Latino friends changed names even though most of their parents seem to have last names growing up.
jmarxoxo@reddit
Not every lol
rilakkuma1@reddit
I don't know any married latina women but of the Asian women I know, two (Taiwanese) kept her name, one (Chinese) kept it, one (Chinese) changed it, two (Indian) kept it.
Curious-Cranberry-27@reddit
My sister and her wife came up with a new last name
LookItsMyDawg@reddit
Millennial ABC with many Latina/East Asian friends. It’s pretty split 50/50 of changing last names. Now especially with the political climate, I’m finding a lot more of my friends choosing to not change their surnames at this time due to the possibility of the SAVE Act or similar BS coming into fruition. For some, it’s just the irritability of paperwork, and for my educated and high ranking ladies, they feel that they’ve worked too hard for their husbands to be mistaken as the doctor.
Either-Youth9618@reddit
I'm from Miami and most Hispanic women I know changed their last name when they got married, regardless of the husband's ethnicity. Some hyphenated and some made a total switch.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
I even know one married couple where they BOTH changed their name (white male asian female).
Like her maiden name was Wu and his was Cranston, but when they got married they chose the last name Nicholson.
I mean, those are not their real names. Protect the innocent and all that.
Euphoric_Ease4554@reddit
My Mexican American friend took her husband’s last name and kept her last name as her middle name.
Darkdragoon324@reddit
It probably depends on how connected they are to their culture of descent? Someone whose family came from China in 1890 probably isn't holding as many culturally Chinese traditions as someone whose parents immigrated here in 2006.
TheBlazingFire123@reddit
Yes
Confetticandi@reddit
Asian cultures vary.
I’m Japanese-American and women in our communities tend to because it’s historically part of the culture. But it’s not a thing in Chinese or Korean culture for women to change their names after marriage so my Chinese and Korean American friends typically don’t.
I kept my name because I already had a career, which is increasingly common across the board these days for all ethnicities.
RemotePossibility399@reddit
My wife is Hispanic, she changed her name. She changed her maiden name to be her middle name.
littlemiss198548912@reddit
It definitely depends on the woman''s cultural beliefs and personal reasons. Like Muslim women keep their maiden name after marriage, but the children get their father's last name.
My family is European ancestry so changing the last name is normal. Though my aunt kept her maiden name after marriage, and a cousin hyphenated hers (maiden- husband's).
Ladonnacinica@reddit
Many European countries don’t have the custom of women changing their last names.
macoafi@reddit
I know that’s normal for England, and so that’s probably where the US got it, but Italians and Spaniards don’t change their names at marriage.
redmambo_no6@reddit
GF is Brazilian and we’ve decided to hyphenate her last name with mine so she retains her identity.
Mom (Filipina) changed her last name to my dad’s but she was always proud of bringing up her maiden name whenever she met other Filipinos.
smileysarah267@reddit
Women in the US are increasingly choosing to keep their name.
DeanBranch@reddit
I'm a woman of Asian descent and I did not change my name when I married.
(my Reddit user name is not my real name)
andoCalrissiano@reddit
Chinese here. I find if the woman marries a white guy they change names. If they marry any other race they keep their names.
iwishiwasamoose@reddit
I've noticed some similarities with Latinos. When I see a latina who married a latino, the latina often keeps their last name. When I see latinas who married white dudes, they often take their husband's name or create a hyphenated name. Not every time. I've met exceptions on both sides. For example, I'm a white dude married to a latina, and my wife kept her last name.
destructopop@reddit
I work with an enormous amount of Latinas, and my married colleagues are largely hyphenate or double last name. Unfortunately it's my job to pick their username for login. I'm sorry to the person with the eleven letter last name followed by a seven letter last name, every 9 to 11 character variant was taken. 😅
GreenLost5304@reddit
It is traditional for women to change their last names in the US when married in general. In my anecdotal experience, it is also becoming more common for women to take on hyphenated names rather than just their spouses last name.
Northman86@reddit
A lot of asians in America have two seperate names they use, a anglicized name and a name that fits with their birth culture. in general ive mostly seen people use the anglicized name for official documents.
Meilingcrusader@reddit
Usually yes, though sometimes more recent immigrants who marry within their own group might not
ManufacturerDull4689@reddit
Lots of Asian and Latina women intentionally marry out of their ethnic groups for the opportunity to “Americanize“ their surnames.
SignificantStyle4958@reddit
I’m Hispanic American, I’d say some Latina women do change their last names but a lot of them don’t.
h0lych4in@reddit
Anecdotal evidence but all my Chinese American friend’s mothers still have their maiden names
ShipComprehensive543@reddit
Regardless of race of the woman, it depends. I know many married women who may have changed their name legally but still go by their maiden name in public, for work, etc. The only time they use their married name if they change it is for legal documents, Others change it full stop. And then some women keep their name. It really depends. I would say the majority of women do change it but this has become less of a think in the last 10-20 years. I have not noticed a huge difference in practice by Asian or Latinas.
GoCardinal07@reddit
Both are common. Many change their names, and many do not. I don't know which is the majority.
JohnMarstonSucks@reddit
Yes it's pretty common.