Writing in a Journal
Posted by xCrashReboot@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 30 comments
Does anyone else have find it difficult to write in a journal? Its almost like posting on social media, I start to write a snarky reply and then just delete cause I dont really care and its not worth the effort.
Maybe its my latchkey mentality but being alone so much growing up, I feel like writing thoughts or feelings down feels so permanent and almost too exposing when I don't want people to find it and read it. I'm used to being invisible.
Is this a GenX thing or am I just paranoid?
Bubbly_Following7930@reddit
I've been journaling since I was 18 and my first therapist gave mee my first journal. I go through periods where I don't journal for years, and times when I journal multiple times a week. I deliberately left it around for my mom to read when I was a teen, because we were fighting so much, I thought I would try communicating with her that way.
I've also always loved paper products and the process of writing.
itgoesineasy@reddit
I’m exactly the same. A journal would be a nice way to vent or just get out what I can’t say otherwise. But I wouldn’t want it found or read by others for sure.
automator3000@reddit
Until something becomes a habit, it’s really hard to do regularly.
Sounds like you’re putting more weight on your journaling than you need to. It doesn’t need to be a record of your deepest thoughts and philosophical explorations. It can really be “Today I woke up early, so I sat by the window and read a few pages of this book I’ve been enjoying before the kids woke up. Saw a blue jay on the apple tree in the front yard.” Let that simple, low impact journaling become habit and perhaps one day your brain will just slip into the occasional deep thought as part of your practice.
NoKing9900@reddit
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve started a journal, then forgot about it.
ActionCalhoun@reddit
I’ve gotten a lot out of journaling - I start by listing five things I am grateful for which helps me start me day a bit better - even if it’s “I tried a new recipe for dinner and we liked it” - by focusing on positive stuff.
Then I write whatever, as long as I fill three pages. Usually I go over stuff that happened yesterday or stuff I need to do today. I’ve found it invaluable in processing all the thoughts that are banging around my head in these crazy times.
LayerNo3634@reddit
I never have. My aunt journaled, and when she died, I was helping the family go through things and found them. All I could think was, this is why I don't do it. It felt like reading someone's diary and wrong. The family loved reading them, but I don't want anyone reading my "diary" when I'm gone.
SnowflakeSWorker@reddit
I’m a therapist, and I can’t do it. When I was a kid, my mom would search and read ANYTHING that was close to a journal. I started writing things down, then tearing up the paper, and she PIECED THE PAGES TOGETHER. I talk with people about journaling all the time, and am very empathic to barriers to using it as a coping skill.
momjan96@reddit
Oh my gosh that’s probably part of it for me! Once when I was 15 or 16 I vented frustrations about my mom onto paper and hid it away in my room. Somehow she got hold of it, and she had to have this huge serious conversation with me about it. I don’t remember ever writing down any truly private thoughts after that.
SnowflakeSWorker@reddit
It’s a huge betrayal imo.
Mama2bebes@reddit
This is me. I encouraged my kids to do it (they wouldn't). I know it would have benefited me in my adult life, it still would! But I can't do it because when I was a kid my brother would always steal my diary so I stopped writing in it. My mother would steal notes and letters to friends. I still cannot figure out how she found a letter I hid so well -- what she read in that letter ruined our relationship. I guess I never got over feeling exposed and vulnerable.
SnowflakeSWorker@reddit
That’s exactly it. I’ve moved a few times over the last few years, and I’ve been toting around some of my daughter’s books and things, and a few diaries. I have not, nor will I ever, read them. When she finds her place and gets settled, she can do what she wants with them. She’s in college now, and with the world being it is, she may be living with me.
Mama2bebes@reddit
You're a good mom. She will appreciate having those one day, and especially appreciate you for showing respect for her privacy and showing that her thoughts and self-expression is valued.
SnowflakeSWorker@reddit
It’s weird, because I was just thinking about this the other day, after talking with a client about journaling. And here we are, having this discussion. I try really, really hard to treat my mother with apathy, but every once in a while, something comes up and I’m like, damn.
Mama2bebes@reddit
Can you be my therapist lol?! It's incredibly helpful when you know what your client has been through.
xCrashReboot@reddit (OP)
Now that you say that you might have touched a nerve. My mom was never around but she did snoop and it always pissed me off cause it felt like a stranger was going through my things.
SnowflakeSWorker@reddit
It can such an amazing outlet for feelings, emotions, insight, and healing. But when your own deep fears, thoughts, etc. are weaponized against you by the person who is supposed to love you, it can feel more like a trap.
freakinreviews@reddit
I've been journaling since 1986, with a few notable gaps in the 90s. Early on, I documented the most mundane details of my life, thinking some future version of myself would be interested in reading it. When I read them now, however, (which is rare) it's with a mix of indifference and cringe. Almost nothing that was important to me back then matters to me now. Those old journals feel like letters from an acquaintance who I can't answer, and who I don't really care much about.
The exception is when I want to look up the details of a past event, which I was good at documenting back then. I've discovered that my memories change over time. I have vivid "memories" that are different from what I journaled at the time, which is rather unsettling - because those memories seem real.
I journal now to have a conversation with myself. A lot of what I cover now are things I wouldn't want to talk to anyone about - so I talk to myself.
I don't worry about people finding or reading my journals because even I don't find them interesting.
EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit
Journaling helps me determine if I’m overreacting, define boundaries, and let off steam. I can usually pinpoint the exact problem inside me when something wads my panties.
Apprehensive_Glove_1@reddit
When I was going through a really hard time in the last year of my second marriage, I started keeping a Google calendar to mark down notable things like fights, etc...
It wound up becoming an unofficial journal. I'd put in what happened that day, what I did wrong, what I felt she did wrong, wins, losses, you name it.
So for at least that year, I can say without a single doubt that she went out drinking 342 nights, 311 of which she didn't return until well after midnight, leaving me alone to care for our daughter for all of them.
What I didn't know at the time was how valuable this would be when we finally divorced and she wanted full custody. When the judge saw that calendar, she just looked at my ex and asked why in the world she should take the child away from her primary caregiver.
Also, it was very cathartic writing out my thoughts every night.
Demostecles@reddit
When I was 12 years old, one of my Dad’s friends, Colonel Heath”Bo” Bottomly (The Bald Eagle of Saigon) was over for dinner while in town at the ammunition plant.
He asked me where I was and what I was doing a year ago this day. I told him I didn’t rightly know. He told me he could tell me where he was, what he was doing and what happened a year ago, two years ago, 10 years ago.
I asked him how he remembered all of that so precisely. He said because he wrote it down. He kept journals. He made notes.
He challenged me to do the same and I took it to heart.
I haven’t always been as diligent with it as he was, but I’ve kept a good record for my own use.
It is amazing what a simple note with a date and location can do to jog your long term memory of the events prior and past to it.
If you don’t write it down, it didn’t happen.
Demostecles@reddit
When I was 12 years old, one of my Dad’s friends, Colonel Heath Bottomly (The Bald Eagle of Saigon) was over for dinner while in town at the ammunition plant.
He asked me where I was and what I was doing a year ago this day. I told him I didn’t rightly know. He told me he could tell me where he was, what he was doing and what happened a year ago, two years ago, 10 years ago.
I asked him how he remembered all of that so precisely. He said because he wrote it down. He kept journals. He made notes.
He challenged me to do the same and I took it to heart.
I haven’t always been as diligent with it as he was, but I’ve kept a good record for my own use.
It is amazing what a simple note with a date and location can do to jog your long term memory of the events prior and past to it.
If you don’t write it down, it didn’t happen.
Cysteine_Chapel64@reddit
No, because I live alone and I fully anticipate destroying it before I die if I see it coming.
CitizenChatt@reddit
Bought myself a Lochby Field Journal for Christmas and use it often. Great little field notebook that I use in the go to record all kinds of info.
Lowmain_nvrbasicXer@reddit
I feel this! Journaling is a great way to dump the feelings we weren’t allowed to share and it’s been so helpful to me personally. BUT the idea of my kids finding them and knowing what I really think of at least one of their SO’s, my genuine feelings about their dad or my ahem, personal time if that ever happens fills me with embarrassment. I feel certain I will feel it beyond the grave.
aharryh@reddit
Nothing really happens in my life worth writing down or recording my "feelings" about. I kept a log for COVID19 before they had the App to track places that you go into, it was like; Work from Home, Grocery Store, Work from home...
Klayton_1971@reddit
I've kept a journal for many years. I mostly record events of the day which is very handy for future reference. I uploaded all my journals into NotebookLM and have referenced things like the last time I got septic pumped and who with, when I cleaned my dishwasher filter, a funny incident at the grocery store, etc. Making it a practical thing makes it easier to record personal thoughts, I think. Less focus on self means it's less heavy to express your feelings without feeling so self-absorbed.
xCrashReboot@reddit (OP)
Thank you for this perspective!
momjan96@reddit
I don’t know if it’s genx, but I feel uncomfortable every time I try to commit inner/private thoughts to paper. Doing so seems narcissistic to me, which is not something I ever want to be.
xCrashReboot@reddit (OP)
I see your point. I agree theres something psychological to this. I see it as a form of attention to.
desertkayaker@reddit
Not anymore. I have two boxes filled with journals from my youth that I have marked for the burn pile. Its just a bunch of depressed mode shit anyway. I'll delete this comment in a few minutes.