What's the emigration problem nobody prepared you for?
Posted by SweetBumbleBeeHoney@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 28 comments
Mine is definitely a language, actually, not a language, but an accent. I thought I spoke English well, and I do, but people ask me where I’m from after I say two words. It makes me question everything, whether they treat me professionally at work, what they’re thinking about me, etc. I’m working on my accent, but it’s really pissing me off!
SeanBourne@reddit
I’m originally North American. 6 years living in Australia, and I get asked my accent/where I’m from pretty much every-time I bump into someone new.
There are a myriad of English accents, and the question is just a conversation starter. I wouldn’t let it get to you.
SweetBumbleBeeHoney@reddit (OP)
That's a good comment. Thank you, I feel better!
hezaa0706d@reddit
Having a middle name
SweetBumbleBeeHoney@reddit (OP)
I have no middle name either :P
beginswithanx@reddit
Seconding middle name. In the US I’m proud of my MANY middle names, having it express my culture and ancestry, etc.
In Japan my middle names give me nothing but pain.
CuriosTiger@reddit
Mine gave me trouble in the US. In Norway, a middle name is more typically your mother's maiden name than an "additional" first name.
In the US, your mother's maiden name is frequently used effectively as a password by banks, universities, government agencies etc. So not something you really want printed on your photo ID.
Not to mention that airlines still haven't figured out how to deal with middle names of ANY persuasion. Most of the time it works, but several times, I've had a ticket that either excluded or abbreviated my middle name, and then everything from online checkin to qualifying for TSA Precheck fails because of a name mismatch. To be fair, it HAS gotten better over the past decade or so, but I eventually just legally dropped my middle name and now just have first name + last name on everything.
Material-Wallaby-587@reddit
Racism in Europe as an immigrant.
probablyaythrowaway@reddit
GERMANS TAKE THEIR KITCHENS AND LIGHT FIXTURES WITH THEM WHEN THEY MOVE.
nordzeekueste@reddit
If you buy the kitchen, they don’t.
Beautiful_Resolve_63@reddit
People from your home country act like your new country is freaky while the new country thinks it's lunacy how your home country functions
CustomerUnhappy7569@reddit
There is a double standard in the world today across Europe and Asia where being a white European immigrant is good and everyone else is bad.
It was never about the accent; accent is the excuse. They have no problem with a white German speaking English with German accent or Russian speaking English with Russian accent.
If you're brown, you're called immigrant. If you're white European, you're called expat.
I'm sorry to my Asian brothers and sisters, but you truly need to think and reflect on this behavior.
About Europe, I don't even need to comment.
Good people will never ever complain about your accent.
Unfortunately we still live in a colonized world, and you have to assume that you're all alone and no one will help you or support you out of kindness of their heart. That kindness is reserved for white Europeans.
Does it mean never emigrate? No, I'm not saying that but assume that no one is your friend outside your country unless if you're white. You might find people who will treat you better abroad but they're either against racism or those who have been humbled by their own double standards.
Sufficient-Job7098@reddit
Having an accent as a foreigner makes you question if you are treated well professionally? What is your line of work?
My American partner was one of handful Americans in his group, most were foreigners. They all were highly respected and very talented people with heavy accent and terrible spelling.
SweetBumbleBeeHoney@reddit (OP)
I work in a tech start up. A lot of tech bros from silicon valley.
CuriosTiger@reddit
So many "tech bros" are foreigners themselves. Accents proliferate in Silicon Valley.
adiloss7@reddit
Do such people suffer from bullying?
biblio_squid@reddit
You have an accent most likely. People notice. So people ask where you are from, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than they want to know, are curious, whatever. It doesn’t mean anything about how they might treat you. It’s okay really. If they are mean to you or call you names or whatever, that’s when you can judge them for being assholes. I work in tech and I hear lots of accents, I find it interesting to learn where folks are from originally.
ellytic@reddit
It’s totally understandable to feel frustrated about this. Many expats face similar challenges, especially when it comes to accents and how they’re perceived in a new country. Here are a few tips that might help you navigate this situation:
It’s important to remember that communication is about more than just accent; it’s about connection. Many people will appreciate your effort to communicate in their language, regardless of your accent.
Full disclosure: I work at Ellytic (ellytic.com), which helps with services like AFM registration and certified translations. If you have any questions about those processes, feel free to ask!
Ready_Scientist1692@reddit
I just want to say that a lot of people are probably asking about the accent because they think it sounds cool. And even as a person born in the U.S., sometimes when I traveled to other parts of the country, people would immediately ask about my accent too because it’s not the same as the dominant accent in the place I was visiting.
Not trying to invalidate you or anything, just hoping to save you from spending a lot of time on accent practice that probably isn’t necessary!
CuriosTiger@reddit
I've been working on my accent for 30 years. It's slight. Not everyone can hear it. Not everyone who hears it can place it. Americans sometimes guess I'm from another state or from Canada. In the UK, I can generally pass for American (not that that's an advantage ATM.)
That said, I was a bit humbled by these AI accent analyzers. They nail it almost every time.
Getting completely rid of an accent in a non-native language is an extremely tall order.
Best-Skin5977@reddit
Oh I can relate so much! I have spent a lot of time and effort to try and replicate RP accent. And I thought I was good at it. Once I visited the UK, I was humbled real quick- oh are you from Latvia love? Are you from Poland love? Can't believe i was delusional about my accent this whole time 😭
Maximum_Web9072@reddit
Figuring out where to buy stuff when all the shops and brands are different and categorized differently, and figuring out which brands/types/models work for you
emmmmmmaja@reddit
Funnily enough: Not having an accent.
I'm currently at a stage where my pronunciation is virtually indistinguishable from a native speaker but my knowledge of cultural norms and tiny changes one makes to be more polite is not. So I constantly go through life terrified of being rude.
werchoosingusername@reddit
Fuhgeddaboudit :)) Rings a bell. This reflects the US, the melting pot. (I assume you are in the US) You are worrying too much.
Now, if you were in Europe, in some countries your last name will cause your CV to be taking out of the race. Your accent will be also a slight problem.
Culture shock ranks on top the list of things that expats did not feel prepared.
i-love-freesias@reddit
Banking
Level-Brain-4786@reddit
In my case being disillusioned with the country after 30 or so years. When it is already very hard to leave (age, exit taxes etc)
zyine@reddit
Consider that they're trying to be friendly?
MostlyBrine@reddit
In more than 25 years living in Canada and USA, almost every single person I spoke with for the first time, asked about my accent, being them grocery store clerks, neighbors, people at work or in other social occasions. Never bothered me, nobody complained about not understanding what I was saying. It seems to be just genuine curiosity. At one point I had four other compatriots working in the same engineering department, and each of us had a slightly different accent, which made for some interesting discussions. Depending upon the person I spoke with, my accent seems to vary between french, russian, german or even spanish (I am none of those ethnicities). Interestingly, I studied or attempted to learn each of these languages at different times in school or for work.
General-Jaguar-8164@reddit
People who are used to speak with internationals are good with accents
People who don’t are not