Anon Hates Darth Vader

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Reading_username@reddit

This scene is always so funny to me.

Like imagine Collin Powell is getting ready to invade Iraq, and he's got some random monk hanging around. No one really knows the monk super well but he's Dick Cheney's right hand man so everyone treats him with deference. While the joint chiefs discuss invasion plans, the monk says "all of your weapons of war are insignificant compared to shaolin kung fu". And then General Patreus is like "ok mr miyagi, but the grown ups are talking, thank you".

And then the monk straight up hadoukens him.

That's basically what happens in this scene.

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zombieGenm_0x68@reddit

i mean if some guy had a monk henchman would YOU wanna try and see if he was all talk or not

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Esava@reddit

In Tsarist Russia they just killed Rasputin.

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Ducokapi@reddit

That took an awful lot of effort tho.

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Original_Fern@reddit

"they" is the key word there. No one had the balls to 1v1 him

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Esava@reddit

They also had to plan an ambush for him and lure him to a specific house etc..

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YoungDiscord@reddit

Fucking raid boss

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Wiggie49@reddit

Lmao “your nuclear capabilities are nothing compared to my lvl 6 spell slot fireball with enhanced lightning damage from my faith passive.”

gif

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Ubblebungus@reddit

and then that dude gets incinerated

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Cyrus2049@reddit

You're leaving out the part where just 30 years before that moment, the United States has a group of Shaolin monks from a different temple working as the CIA, FBI, Delta Force, and diplomatic corps

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mr_eugine_krabs@reddit

“Enough of this,VADER!(cocks hunting shotgun) RELEASE HIM!”

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Trigger_Fox@reddit

I mean if there were multiple recorded instances of the monk fucking soloing a tank or entire squadrons i'd listen to the man

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Prestigious-Fig1172@reddit

This is the epicest shit I've read in ages!!!! :D

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Esava@reddit

Just look at how it was with Rasputin at the end of the russian tsarist empire. They listened to the "magic" monk for every decision (and then just killed him).

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Nadiadain@reddit

And decided to keep his dick in a jar for some reason

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DefinitelyNotDonny@reddit

I’d watch that

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Jediboy127@reddit

He tells Vader “Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn’t helped you conjure up the stollen plans, or given you clairvoyance enough to discover the Rebel’s hidden base.”

And he was absolutely right. Vader was just mad.

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randomusername1934@reddit

To be entirely fair the Empire's entire intelligence apparatus was equally unable to 'conjure up the stolen plans' or 'discover the Rebel's hidden base'. I'm not sure what point Motti thought he was making there.

IIRC it was actually Vader who managed to find at least the location of the hidden base too.

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AVeryFriendlyOldMan@reddit

tbf Motti wasn't jerking off the prowess of Imperial Intelligence whereas Vader was bringing up his weird fringe religion during a company meeting.

Also Yavin IV would've found just because some rando Imperial slapped a tracker on the getaway vehicle

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Beamo1080@reddit

Did people not know that the Jedi were followers of the Force? I can understand a lot of information being lost and covered up by the Empire but it always felt weird to call the Force ancient and fringe when within this dude’s lifetime its knighted devotees fought a war across the entire galaxy.

He’s gotta be, what, 30 at least? 20 years before him saying that shit to Vader he would’ve been a kid getting told bedtime stories about Master Yoda. It’s incongruous.

Obviously it’s prequel syndrome but it’s one of the worst examples of it if you ask me.

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GuyKopski@reddit

Also, the end of the movie is the Death Star getting blown up by a fledgling Jedi using the Force for basically the first time in his life. That's what Vader's line is setting up.

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Sifl-and-Olly@reddit

Maybe don't an edgy redditor around a psychopathic wizard?

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LeatherDescription26@reddit

For anyone wondering extended universe material fleshes this out better.

There’s been force users who’ve destroyed planets and even crazier shit

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JustaguynamedTheo@reddit

In the expanded universe the Force can be used to control the weather or to drain planets of their life force.

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HebrewHamm3r@reddit

He's hitting the penjamin in between ordering stormtroopers to massacre wookies

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theredhound19@reddit

https://i.redd.it/hbtf3ku1rywg1.gif

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Mean_Introduction543@reddit

Bro leave him alone

My man was just trying to get kick his pack a day deathstick habit and you’re mocking him for it

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