Afghanonistan | TheaterFire

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thereoncewasahat@reddit

'I will let you look at my sexy goat collection if you let me go.'

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SilliusS0ddus@reddit

wouldst thou like the taste of coochie ?

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Sbotkin@reddit

I mean, sure, but how is it related to the greentext?

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thereoncewasahat@reddit

Verily I doth court thy flower, within still the spring of youth, bountiful in glinting splendor, it dost allure upon mine eye, that I may savour it's nectar.

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AlarmedConfidence563@reddit

Inb4 someone says that taliban checkpoints are safer and civil than ICE checkpoints.

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FloZone@reddit

For random foreigners it is probably safer. The Taliban try to clean up their image a bit and that includes makimg sure foreign tourists don't get abducted.

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I find their 'opening to the world' push absolutely hilarious. Until recently, they were even asking travel bloggers to come. The few who actually did produced some amazing content. Every one of them ends up being a 4 hour video of a desolate land with women covered in trash bags and huge crowds of ugly men - all with the same hat and beard - holding US assault rifles. Their city is hundreds of copies of the same 4 box buildings made entirely of corrugated aluminum - and then one utterly amazing shop that just casually sells everything that's most illegal in normal countries.

Assault rifles, rocket launchers, specialized hacking kit, guided missiles, massive bricks of un-cut drugs, dangerous chemicals, every fucking kind of explosive just laying on the counter - a magical wonderland of everything that would give your 14-year old self a lockjawed inability to say anything but 'BASED'.

Its like if God asked Micky Rourke to design hell, then let him the devil rule it. Why the hell did they even want people to come? There's literally nothing to do there besides set up a smuggling route to a better country - and they made no attempt to pretend otherwise.

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FloZone@reddit

They really hoped to become some Dubai-like tourist state, didn't they? Like this image, sure we are Islamic conservatives, but aren't we based? Doesn't want America return to tradition? Look what we do, you can even beat your wife and we do execute the sodomites, but don't show that on camera. Doesn't Saudi Arabia do the same?

Tbh some part of that does sound like the wet dream of your typical third world travel youtuber. Maybe without the sex tourism, but apart from that?

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

Mate, you can't just say 'without the sex tourism' when the entire point is the sex tourism. South East Asia at least has awesome old Buddhist temples - people used to visit just to check them out before the internet. The Philippines has beaches.

The only part of Afghanistan that looked at all tempting was the discount war-crimes emporium. Unless that place is basically the Taliban's outlet mall for what's left of the US stockpile and the entire point was just to advertise that to foreign drug lords and terrorists, I can't imagine what they were expecting. Literally every other Muslim country on Earth is more inviting, and I should think even the most fucked-up ISIS psychopath would rather go to a country where the legal system functions for more than just ensuring women wear their trash bags when he goes on holiday.

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OvercastqT@reddit

thats fkn hilarious

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Good_Problem_6576@reddit

i mean the Taliban absolutely suck but ICE are literal kidnappers lol so the bar is really low

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jim9162@reddit

Are you 12 years old just incredibly stupid?

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spiritofporn@reddit

You do realize what the Taliban does to women, right?

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coomiemarxist@reddit

ICE camps were used for rape too

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spiritofporn@reddit

Trololo.

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BigshotRider@reddit

What does it to? Looks like you’re the type who believe everything that the western media tells you

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MonkeManWPG@reddit

Call me crazy but I seem to remember the Taliban doing worse than just kidnapping people.

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Ofiotaurus@reddit

If you’re a foreigner then yes, absolutely.

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Totoques22@reddit

Just don’t be a women or have any religious sings on you or look too gay

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Assblaster_69z@reddit

Im not sure, ive heard from Afghan veterans that you should never admit youre an atheist, its much better to say youre a Christian

Ig paganism or no faith are worse than other monotheistic faiths

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thr33beggars@reddit

“Why do I have a laptop? Because of porn. There is so much porn in the world and watching it on my phone is disrespectful to the media. Just as David Lynch was critical of watching movies on a phone screen, I am completely against watching porn on a phones screen. So I use my laptop but even then, it’s better on a big screen television. I want to be able to see every cock vein, every fold of the scrotum, every drop of cum. Every single time a set of balls smacks into another set of balls, I want to be able to see the skin ripple. I want it to be so clear that I can almost feel when the top slowly enters the bottom. Thats why I have a laptop.”

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ninetailedoctopus@reddit

gif

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User_identificationZ@reddit

Dawg what is that gif? That shit has me trying not to laugh my ass off at work.

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dastumer@reddit

Ring doorbell footage that went viral a few weeks back. Should come up of you search for Harry Dresden ring camera or something like that

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splittingheirs@reddit

Well, that's enough internet for today.

*plugs USB Killer into PC*

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Magnus_Helgisson@reddit

In case of Taliban, that would be enough anon for this life

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Max_Faubert@reddit

plugs USB top into USB bottom...

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Worldedita@reddit

If USA is so great, why did they make the USB? Ever thought about that, liberal?

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Max_Faubert@reddit

They even made different types of USB, the horror...

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soiboi64@reddit

Hmm, a super gay comment on a normal post, i wonder who wrote it?

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galacticdude7@reddit

Good thing they didn't find that, worshiping a god other than Allah is most definitely haram

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DinoMastah@reddit

Afghanon should probably clean up his laptop if this incident repeats.

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Real-Ad-1728@reddit

He could probably make a lot of money selling fap material to the Taliban though lol. Idk about Afghanistan, but in Iran there is a MASSIVE black market for porn, like it’s one of the top three things smuggled into the country. I feel like it’s safe to assume that the Afghans are just as horny and repressed lol. Would it be dangerous? Sure. But the Taliban are still just people, and people are perfectly capable of some wild hypocrisy as long as they don’t believe they themselves will get caught.

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SyntheticDuckFlavour@reddit

Let him goon, Inshallah.

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Kaplaw@reddit

Jihad is struggle

So technically, by anon struggling to goon he is doing his own form of Jihad

A goon Jihad

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