Has there been anything wild you've overheard?

[-]

Sad-Grade6972@reddit

Had a good one a while back while having a lunchtime pint before a hike. A lady came out to the garden for a smoke, and was on the phone. All I heard was: "Stupid girl. I told her you can't put horseshoes in the recycling; not even if you double bag them!"

[-]

hhfugrr3@reddit

I really would have assumed you could put horseshoes in the recycling tbh. I mean they're just metal aren't they?

[-]

WillowCreekWanderer@reddit

We need a farrier and/or a recycling plant worker to chime in on this

[-]

Morganx27@reddit

I was in the hospital, my grandad was in there and we all knew it was pretty much deathbed time. We had the priest come to give him his last rites, and then as we were silently praying (or just letting the religious among us pray), several of us were crying, an old man on the ward shouted "OHH, SHIT WI' SUGAR ON IT"

It was probably the funniest thing I've ever experienced

[-]

GoldenGolgis@reddit

Two ladies discussing their poorly husbands, one of whom was frail after a long illness. "Is he having any tonic or anything?" "I've been giving him that effluent stuff... Baraka.."

[-]

TheBleepThatCensors@reddit

On the bus. Of course.

"Can we have Pot Noodles for tea mum?"

"Nah they take too long"

"Can we have crisps then?"

"Aye."

Not wild actually, just really fucking depressing. There but for the grace of etc.

[-]

Different-Employ9651@reddit

Walking down the street a few weeks ago, I was just behind a couple. He was laughing while she explained that she'd known she was poorly when her eyelashes wouldn't cooperate that morning. I almost laughed myself. Is that a thing?!

[-]

unusually_named@reddit

"And then yeah, it hadn't stopped properly and it cut his finger off! And there was like blood everywhere and he kept falling down!"

Other person nodding along "he'll be alright though. Fingers grow back."

First person "oh yeah, they do don't they? I forgot that. Probably why the doctor said it wouldn't attach. He'd have 6 fingers otherwise."

Overheard in supercuts bluewater....

[-]

Roselunaryie38@reddit

Oh how deluded I was thinking bluewater was a nicer shopping centre...

[-]

mrtortool2@reddit

Well they are probably from Kent so anything could possibly grow back there!

[-]

tissuerental@reddit

Just the replacement finger please noffing else 🙂‍↔️ thank you

[-]

ForwardImagination71@reddit

In the Co-op...

A couple of women were chatting. One of them was pregnant.

Another woman, known to both of them, came over and asked the pregnant woman if she knew who the father was 🙈

[-]

SmugDruggler95@reddit

Heard someone ask this and the mum didnt know!!!!!!!

Awfully awkward for everyone within earshot!

"Congratulations! I didnt know you were with someone, whos the lucky fella"

"I dont know"

JESUS

[-]

BertieBus@reddit

Did she know?

[-]

Gisschace@reddit

This is the sort of thing I'd do to my pregnant mates

[-]

No-Option595@reddit

In the changing rooms in tk maxx. Two women were talking about their friend, who'd been caught short in these changing rooms, and had solved her dilemma by having a dump in a carrier bag. She'd then solved the problem of what to do with the turd by hanging the bag on a hook in the changing room and abandoning her foodbaby to the care of the staff.

Why would anyone ever admit to doing that?

[-]

dglcomputers@reddit

Getting breakfast in Wetherspoons and there is wat must have been a mother with her young daughter. Said daughter was looking at the menus and had seen an interesting looking alcoholic drink and asked if she could have it. The mother replied along the lines of "no that is an adult drink and will get you drunk" only for the kid to reply along the lines of "I want to get drunk". I thought it was hilarious.

[-]

EvaKatz@reddit

Two lads walked past me in Leeds, and one said “I’d only seen her at work in her hairnet looking rough, but when I saw her out, all done up she was quite fit”.

[-]

lodav22@reddit

In a campsite from a tent, a mother with a strong geordie accent (which made it funnier tbh)

"Why do you have poo all over your hands? Jesus christ its everywhere!!"

Sobbing child: "Daddy told me to hold it!"

I was walking back from the shower and there were a few other people in earshot, we all had a bit of a chuckle 😆.

[-]

MerlinTrismegistus@reddit

"I broke my girlfriends neck by accident."

"Well, I do understand if it was an immediate reaction after getting glassed with a pint glass.."

Hmmm

Heard in a beer garden

[-]

Remote_Development13@reddit

I feel like I need to know which bus you were travelling on. As a hardended Birmingham bus traveller, there are definitely routes that I would avoid sitting at the back on

[-]

ChamomilePeppermint@reddit

Is the 33 still as terrible as I remember?

[-]

Remote_Development13@reddit

The 33 is one of my regulars. Not great, but a long way off being the worst in Brum. Generally get through Perry Barr a lot quicker since they knocked half of it and down and rebuilt it

[-]

ChamomilePeppermint@reddit

It used to be one of mine! As a teen it was always the 33 or 451 (now the 5). Then I used the 33 for uni before realising I was being stupid, from then on I stuck to the safe haven of the 934 or 936 lol.

Perry Barr confuses me now when I drive past it! I have no reason to go into One Stop but I’ve no idea how to get into it 😂

[-]

Extension_Bit4323@reddit (OP)

97A to Kitts Green and the Airport.

[-]

Remote_Development13@reddit

That mom had a point!

[-]

Thi13een@reddit

Standing at a bus stop. Chav lad next to me loudly on his phone to someone “yeah, yeah, battered him properly, blood everywhere. Used my bat too” I’m standing next to him like wtf!? Bus pulls up and he goes “anyway gran, bus is here, I’ll see you later for tea yeah” and on he got and that was that. Just found it mad he was talking to his grandmother about battering someone with a weapon! Hahahaha

[-]

Bossman_Mike@reddit

His "gran" was probably 43 years old as well

[-]

geekroick@reddit

Reminds me of this absolute classic: https://youtu.be/qFuV9lBhgic

[-]

lxorr@reddit

Sounds like something from the tv show Mobland!

[-]

dankydank5@reddit

Granny put the hit out! He was just reporting job done!

[-]

Linzi322@reddit

The one that sticks in my mind was two little kids playing out on the street. Eldest was maybe 8 or 9, little one was nursery school aged. Eldest turned to youngest and said “well you know who did that, your cunt of a dad”

Was absolutely aghast haha

[-]

neilm1000@reddit

"And there I was, pregnant in a Lagonda", on a train.

"He's become an emo" "No, he's always been a twat", outside Mothercare.

[-]

mothsugar@reddit

for anybody else picturing a gondola... no, it's just a very fancy luxury car.

[-]

Bright-Associate-267@reddit

Years ago I was having a meal at a restaurant and at the table opposite was a son and his parents. I think his wife was there too. He was casually chatting to his parents about getting the snip. It wasn't something I really wanted to hear while I was eating. I'd not been deliberately listening either.

[-]

ans-myonul@reddit

Also bus-related and in Birmingham: a woman walked past my window on the phone and said "Someone's pissed on the seat of the bus, I've sat in it and now I'm soaked." This is why I always check the seat before I sit down!

[-]

Careless_Soup_109@reddit

How did she know it wasn't just water that had reactivated some previous dried up wee wee?

[-]

ProofLegitimate9990@reddit

Overheard a very befuddled tesco worker and a Eastern European gentleman in the alcohol aisle which was accidentally a hilarious exchange.

With limited English the man kept asking for “whiskey chicken”.

This went in for a while until another customer stepped in and suggested he might be looking for famous grouse.

[-]

Careless_Soup_109@reddit

Sounds about right

[-]

LunaBalloonaCat@reddit

This was 20 something years ago back when Croydon still had a Walkabout. I was in the ladies loos and overheard two women discussing what it’s like to give another woman oral and one of them said, “It’s like eating sushi off a barbershop floor”.

[-]

Careless_Soup_109@reddit

"This is working class of me" - heard on a guy boarding a bus in York when the trains didn't work

[-]

cherpumples@reddit

one time on the bus there were two young kids behind me talking about ghosts. one said, "Do ghosts exist?" and the other replied, "Of course they do. What do you think we are?"

i think about this constantly

[-]

weatherwaxs_broom@reddit

Heard an absolute belter of a conversation today in Holland and Barratt:

Customer: Do you have any of that black Ethiopian Seed oil?

Assistant: I'm not sure, I'll have a look for you.

Customer: Is it Ethiopian? It has to be Ethiopian.

Assistant: we've got black seed oil, but I think it might be Lithuanian?

Customer: nah it's got to be Ethiopian, I heard that it gets rid of those gut parasite things. Don't know if Lithuanian seed oil will get rid of the gut parasites.

Me: silently dies next to the vitamin C shelf

[-]

23Doves@reddit

Also in Birmingham, a Mum said the following to her 11 year old daughter who was dancing around the aisle: "Honestly Emma, will you do your sexy dances when we get 'ome? Don't do them on the train. Honestly, I know it's Christmas and you're excited, but PLEASE."

[-]

SpeechWeird5267@reddit

😶

[-]

PrometheusZero@reddit

Stood in a queue to get on a bus while and old lady was looking for her pass. Two secondary school lads (year 10?) in front of me chatting when I overheard

"... yeah, I used to be depressed, it was all thots, but now my feed is; get rich, sigma grind and Andrew Tate."

This will have been about a year or so ago. Really stuck with me.

[-]

EnigmaMissing@reddit

I was getting my hair done a few years ago right before christmas and the makeup artist was talking with her client at the table behind me while my hair was cooking. The topic was the client's pre-school class. She had a little muslim girl and wasn't sure how she should approach christmas activities

Client: "do Muslims worship santa?"

MUA: "I don't think so. Santa works for Jesus. He's a Christian thing, I think"

C: "is he? So why does he gift presents to people in India and China then?"

MUA: "idk. I thought he was just European. Doesn't he come from Spain or something?"

C: "Spain isn't a Christian country, though"

MUA: "but Santa is a Spanish word"

C: "then why do we worship Santa?"

I stg it took everything in me not to butt into that conversation. I could feel the braincells spilling out of my ears 😭

[-]

SpeechWeird5267@reddit

🤣🤣

[-]

PrometheusZero@reddit

Santa Maria! 🤌🤌

[-]

PineappleFrittering@reddit

Jesus Christ 😂

[-]

Moomoocaboob@reddit

El Santador

[-]

CMDoet@reddit

The gaffer, apparently

[-]

festivalchic@reddit

I would have absolutely lost it, you did incredibly well to keep a lid on it!

[-]

crgoodw@reddit

You have the patience of a saint, I would have had to walk out or say something 😂

[-]

EnigmaMissing@reddit

Honestly, if I wasn't lathered in hair dye at that point, walking out was very much on the table 😂

[-]

Trying-thinking@reddit

Patience of a santa*

[-]

Plenty-Wishbone5880@reddit

*St Nicholas.

[-]

Figgzyvan@reddit

Walked into a backstreet pub in Newcastle.

Bunch of old people sat round a table. As we we walked past heard a woman say, ‘I telt him, ya can tek ya butter an’ ya can fuck off’.

I didn’t hear the start of the conversation for context but i hope it wasn’t about Last Tango In Paris.

[-]

mrbadger2000@reddit

Frustrated father to, presumably, child in the back of a car at a quiet filling station.

'... AND GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE CHICKEN!'

To this day we wonder if it was a sandwich, rotisserie or livestock

[-]

BG3restart@reddit

Emotional support chicken, providing support.

[-]

ChasingSloths@reddit

The Emotional Support Chicken is actually an incredibly popular knitting pattern.

[-]

BG3restart@reddit

Yes, I'm a knitter, it's how I heard about it, although I now know a family with actual poultry.

[-]

ChasingSloths@reddit

Aha, fantastic, thought that was just a funny coincidence!

[-]

takhana@reddit

Ahh, we’ve all been there. Toddlers make you say the most ridiculous shit. Tonight we had to convince mine that the milk in his cup was exactly the same as the milk in the cup he slightly prefers. It was a full scale meltdown.

[-]

BobbyPotter@reddit

My fat mind immediately went to KFC

[-]

Electrical_Living788@reddit

In Ventnor, Isle of Wight, woman said I never go to Ventnor any more, the man said, I don't go there either

[-]

PanningForUsernames@reddit

I overheard a guy in Stevenage on the phone saying “I’m gonna fuck him in the arse, then I’m gonna fuck her in the arse too”. He looked very angry and like he was on his way to do it

[-]

No-Extension-2378@reddit

I'm guessing his mum didn't make enough cottage pie and his dad ate it all.

[-]

acidic_tab@reddit

I've just come out of hospital antenatal ward, and the lady in the bed next to me said some wild things during her stay. Out of 30 or so women I'd shared that ward with across my stay, she was the most insufferable person I'd had the displeasure of sharing with, and not even for the things I'm about to mention.

She berated the staff because she wanted croissants for breakfast and the NHS didn't provide any (it was never a listed option on the menu). She then threw a temper tantrum and said she won't eat if she doesn't get a croissant, so the staff didn't bring her food.

She demanded to be next on the caesarean list because she changed her mind about having an induction and was "already here". She hadn't even started her induction, nor was it an urgent situation. I overheard her telling someone on the phone that this was always her plan, and that the staff were being racist for refusing her.

And a little bonus from her husband: "She cannot see any male doctors under any circumstances, even if it's an emergency - get a woman in or let her die". This demand wasn't for religious reasons. There were no female doctors available in the case of an emergency, so it was advised that they transfer to another hospital, they refused and he doubled down that they should just let her die.

[-]

No-Extension-2378@reddit

I'm torn between being absolutely disgusted at the idea of "let her die" if it's not a female doctor, or kinda agreeing with it based on her behaviour.

[-]

geekroick@reddit

Doesn't want another man seeing the Holy Vag I'm sure

[-]

painful_butterflies@reddit

My upstairs neighbours, middle of summer, every window open. "Fuck sake Kelly!!! Why don't you just shit in my pockets too!"

No context, no prior shouting, nothing after. We couldn't help but laugh.

[-]

batty_61@reddit

Overheard from a bearded, dishevelled labourer in steel toe cap boots and a hi - vis jacket as he walked past me;

"Well, I tried poaching the pears, but..."

[-]

IndividualCurious322@reddit

I overheard a woman talking to her friend about how her and her boyfriend a few days prior wanted to have a romantic night with candles, a movie ect but they both got so drunk they couldn't do anything and he "pissed on the candles to put them out". Lol

[-]

Agitated_Horse24@reddit

They probably had more fun tbh.

[-]

LillyAtts@reddit

And they say romance is dead.

[-]

ImFamousYoghurt@reddit

6th form kid on the bus loudly talked about many things that got progressively worse.

1) Started off by talking about getting expelled.

2) Then making his mum cry and laughed about it.

3) Then he started talking about how he kills woodland animals with his hands and wants to get a pet bird to kill it.

Serial killer in the making.

[-]

CMDoet@reddit

I was once on the busy commuter train home from work when I smelled an utterly foul smell. There was a baby crying somewhere so I assumed it was the source. People around me were coughing. I had to bury my face in my coat sleeve, it was so strong. Suddenly this booming voice comes from a nearby seat: "and then I fell right in the manure!" I turned around for a sneaky butchers and this man was absolutely fucking filthy, and on the phone to the unfortunate person who was collecting him from his destination station.

Not sure whether it counts because imo he was purposefully alerting the surrounding passengers to the reason for his pungency, just with all the subtlety of a house brick through a window.

[-]

geekroick@reddit

"He said, it's pronounced Tozer, but spelled T-O-S-S-E-R..."

Never heard any more of the exchange but I kind of wish I had.

[-]

ImpartialDuck@reddit

Very Hyacinth Bucket

[-]

TREBILCOCK@reddit

As someone who grew up in Birmingham, and now has kids not from Birmingham. I am absolutely saying the same thing to them if we ever get on a Brummie bus together.

[-]

AquarianViolist@reddit

what happens on the back seat of Birmingham buses? I’ve been on London / Croydon ones…..including nights, is it really worse?

[-]

Far-Hospital-9961@reddit

“And they were roommates”

[-]

beneaththegardenwall@reddit

oh my gahd, they were roommates

[-]

gromblee@reddit

Unexpected vine

[-]

notmentat@reddit

Years ago I was in New York at the height of the swine flu bollocks. We were sitting in front of some girls at a theatre. One of them was loudly telling everyone about how she planned to go to med school. And then started berating her friend for eating bacon and explaining all the dangers of eating pork. I really hope she didn’t make it into med school…

[-]

Zyrrus@reddit

“The casting agent said I was lacking emotional depth. I mean, what the hell do they know? I was in a Colmans mustard advert, ffs.”

[-]

sandra_nz@reddit

I once went to a posh supermarket in Knutsford and behind me was a mum berating her child for the £5K she’d spent on skiing equipment only for him to decide he now wanted to try golf. I took a sneaky look behind me and I swear the boy was no older than 8.

[-]

notalapcataboobcat@reddit

Gotta be Booths

[-]

sandra_nz@reddit

Yep!

[-]

bez_lightyear@reddit

The loud talking neighbours at my last place were permanently in their garden or conservatory with the doors open. We could hear everything. One night she had her Fancy Man round and he was telling her loudly about how he recently met his ex-wife at a local pub, got drunk with her and went back to her place:

"I shagged her on the kitchen worktop, then pulled up me trousers and walked off. She said 'are you leaving already?' and I said 'YES. JUST LIKE YOU LEFT ME FIVE YEARS AGO, JANICE!!!'"

[-]

VioletDime@reddit

Two spaced out tramps on a bench in Glastonbury

"the problem with these Christians, is your can't get them to understand cosmic reality".

A lot to unpack there!

[-]

Full_Praline2362@reddit

Overheard by my mum and her sister in a youth hostel in Hathersage: "Well of course, she's been drinking her own urine for years..."

So many questions.

[-]

hufflespeech@reddit

This was me... waiting at front door for child to be ready for school. He kept saying 1 sec, 1 sec. Eventually got really fed up and shouted for all the street to here, "no more secs!!!!"

[-]

Silent-Tea4500@reddit

I was walking behind a teenager on speakerphone to the Police, who had pulled his auntie over doing 20mph on the motorway

They were saying she wasn't impaired, but someone needed to come and pick her up because they couldn't in good concience let her continue to go so slow while other people are flying past at 70

[-]

Rhubarb-Eater@reddit

‘What the ‘eck is echinacea?’

‘It’s that thing where you kill old people’

[-]

bluejeansseltzer@reddit

Overheard a group of 50-60yo women in Wetherspoons last week talking about “weaponised male competence” which took me out of focus on my conversation just because I’ve only ever heard that brought up online by the chronically online.

I’m sure my conversation may have been quite jarring to them though as I was talking about how the Armenian genocide is recognised but the Pontic Greek genocide largely isn’t.

[-]

boojes@reddit

Well done, you're clearly much more intelligent than other people. You sure showed those women!

[-]

bluejeansseltzer@reddit

Excuse me? I was pointing out how both conversation, the one I was having with a friend and the one they were having amongst themselves, were two conversations that are quite unusual to overhear in a pub - like OP' was asking.

[-]

boojes@reddit

Well it comes across as "women were bitching about a thing that's not real, but I, an intellectual, was talking about important, nuanced politics."

[-]

bluejeansseltzer@reddit

That's a fking weird subtext you've invented for yourself there

[-]

ChelseaMourning@reddit

Sorry dude but you sound fucking insufferable

[-]

neilm1000@reddit

It's surprising that the Greeks barely mention it, normally they're all over anything they can bash Turkey for.

[-]

bluejeansseltzer@reddit

I've never heard of the Greeks speaking about it one way or the other tbqh, I was speaking more generally on the international stage. But if they barely talk about it then that really is surprising ngl.

[-]

crowey@reddit

Overheard at a beer festival a very drunk woman in her 50s talking to a group of younger women: “Promise me this, NEVER let a man stick it in your vagina when it’s been up your arse, or you will actually die”

Solid advice

[-]

GrandAsOwt@reddit

People in a park discussing allegations someone else had made: “No, I never hit her. Well, I slapped her once but I never hit her.”

[-]

dinkidoo7693@reddit

As lass loudly talking on the phone about her STD test results, thought she was talking to her mate then she said “no Mum, its like a smear they just put it up your fufu”

[-]

FantasticWeasel@reddit

One time I was queuing to buy something in Boots and a woman came in screaming about needing 'fufu cream'.

After queue jumping, yelling at the pharmacist and acting like being politely asked if she would like to step into the private room to discuss it was a total waste of her time because everyone knew what fufu cream was, she stormed out still screaming.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever got what she was looking for then I remember that if she hadn't, she would still be wandering around central london yelling about it.

[-]

ChelseaMourning@reddit

I love a caught conversation. Favourites of mine are:

“….then he was half way up the stairs and jizzed all over her back”. - absolutely no context given.

Exasperated old woman chasing after a man shouting “HE’S NOT WELL, ALAN!!!”

Waiting in line at an all incy buffet in Greece. Woman behind me to her friend “It would be nice if the wine were a bit…..less shit”.

Most recently in a charity shop, old lady talking to the posh woman behind the counter about a restaurant reservation:

“Do you like food?”…..”not really. I was a rather fat child, you see”.

[-]

OkTadpole2920@reddit

I didn't overhear this, I actually said it in front of two delivery men. My dad to me gesturing towards a closed door, "Who's that, in with your mum?" Me, "The undertaker."

[-]

Motor-Command-2680@reddit

A woman across the street getting out of a taxi at 3am in the morning arguing with the driver shouting where is my coke where is my coke I've lost my coke , you've took it. The driver then said to her what's that in your hand ? She apologised called herself an idiot then went in her house 🤣

[-]

pickindim_kmet@reddit

Last week I heard someone as I walked past the job centre tell security "I've spent £1200 on cocaine this past week, I haven't slept in 3 days"

[-]

crgoodw@reddit

Overheard in a pub a few months ago: "...and if she does start demanding we have a baby, I'll just tell her I'm gay and get a divorce."

I mean. At least he was quite absolute about not bringing a child into that scenario.

[-]

eca3617@reddit

"Nope... Nope.... Nooppee..... OK I'll tell you, it was with his own twin brother".

And yes, it was that. Very Targaryen.

[-]

Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

People discussing a video going around of a gay orgy or maybe gangbang featuring several apparently straight and married men from the local area. Apparently they took turns dressing as a woman. To each their own, I just feel bad for the wives. It sounded like gossip at the time but was confirmed to be real. A lot of well known people in the community, was quite surprising.

[-]

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.