Anon vs T-Rex for $500M

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Rando_Kalrissian@reddit

Wouldn't the T-Rex die of starvation if I just stayed in my hut?

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Punished__Snake@reddit

Apparently he could survive a month or two without food.

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jubmille2000@reddit

Ask for a watermelon. It's technically, a food.

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Bird/dinosaurs and many reptiles have more efficient kidneys than mammals. They usually work better at surviving droughts and dry and hot climates. Whether that is true for something as large and active as a T-rex idk.

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Thegamblr@reddit

I know nothing about dinosaur biology but heat dissipation has to be quite important and water is quite good at that so maybe they use more?

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zweilinkehaende@reddit

Reptiles don't sweat, so they wouldn't lose water that way. With enough of a head start you could outrun a T-Rex, because it would overheat.

Dinosaurs might have cooled themselves down by panting, which uses water, but the T-Rex wouldn't have to if you just stayed in your hut and it just waited for you. A fit human might win an endurance race vs a T-Rex, but i doubt a football field would be a long enough distance for sweating to be a meaningful advantage.

So: If you are both going without water, you will die of thirst first.

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JRedgrove@reddit

No water for either of them.

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timperman@reddit

You're provided food and water. Safe to assume to Trex is provided it too

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Sentient2X@reddit

Large predators especially ones recently evolved from reptiles would likely be capable of going months without food. Humans, high metabolism mammals, can go up to 3 weeks but your chance of death grows rapidly from a week and a half forward

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_who-the-fuck-knows_@reddit

Trex is closer to a bird than a reprile

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KeyDangerous@reddit

Scooby doo?

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Yonbuu@reddit

Reeheeheeheeheeheehee

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ProfNoob1000@reddit

We should compare the trex to larger birds not reptiles. Its most likely that he is warmblooded so he had a higher metabolism tha reptiles.

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Sentient2X@reddit

Trust me I understand that I have a taxonomical tree of life right by my bed. What you fail to understand is that exothermia is not an on or off switch. It’s a scale, and T-Rex was likely somewhere in between. I compared them to their ancestors to showcase that, while still emphasizing they evolved beyond that. Wasn’t looking for complete accuracy in a one off comment but of course I have to clarify.

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DukeOfChipotle@reddit

‘Exothermia’ isn’t a word.

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Battle_Axe_Jax@reddit

To be fair, it isn’t until it is like with all words

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realbadpainting@reddit

I fuck with this response I’m in the comments looking for the guy with the taxonomical tree of life under his pillow

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krishna_p@reddit

Well your reputation as a 4chan subreddit taxonomy expert was at stake mate, so of course you had to clarify.

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Grundolph@reddit

Gotta study how dinosaurs procreated and evolved because he won’t procreate himself.

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DefinitelyNotDonny@reddit

You’re either exceptionally funny or a mega douche loser

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apsmustang@reddit

While true regarding food, they do need a high intake of water. This is an enclosed arena, so they would not have access to things like rainwater or puddles, so they would die of thirst far before they'd die of starvation.

Assuming water is included in "food" that you are supplied with and it can all fit in your shelter, you'd just need to outlast it.

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amd2800barton@reddit

If you have an indestructible hut stocked with food and water, it’s safe to assume that the Rex also has access to food and water.

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sillycritersenjoyer@reddit

Crocodiles can just sit there and eat nothing for a year and be fine nothing is going to happen to a trex in a month

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mschwemberger11@reddit

Crocodiles also do fuckall and just lay around untill they are hungry or provoked.

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methos3@reddit

TIL that I am a crocodile

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ar_sch@reddit

Just staying in a hut all day is what anon is doing anyway.

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ChuckVideogames@reddit

you think 500 mill, I think a month vacation with free food

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_partytrick@reddit

I might just feed the T Rex and become friends.

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TheHiddenRelic@reddit

Are we talking 10-inches in length, or 10 inches in calibre?

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Accurate_College_864@reddit

find a long stick and make a spear with my knife, wait a while in my hut untill he gets hungry then put some food near the window and try to stab his face or something when he tries to eat 🤷

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AndrewSaidThis@reddit

Don’t forget to put poop on the stick. This thread taught me how important this is.

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Battleraizer@reddit

Ummm i have many questions about that small "indestructable" "hut"

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CheeksTheImpietas@reddit

I spend the first week using the knife to scrape oils off of my skin and collect it by soaking my shirt with it and storing it in a cool damp place such as a small hole.

after I have accrued a sufficiently oily rag I wrap my least favorite arm in it

I make a closed fist and dangle one arm outside my indestructible hut and let the T Rex bite it off, I TQ the stump with my oxblood timberland leather belt.

when the oil soaked arm touches the watery saliva of the t-rex it is propelled upward (oil floats on water) the closed fist sails into its brain from below and kills it instantly

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matches-malone@reddit

Oh God I'm dying

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Bibb5ter@reddit

Bravo

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kpingvin@reddit

T-rexes are just big chickens. Fold its head under its arms and rock it gently till it falls asleep. Then you can cut its throat.

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obsoleteconsole@reddit

Deconstruct my hut to fashion a suit of armor from it, then go stab it straight in the neck when it tries to chew me

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DonutGuy2659@reddit

How you gonna deconstruct the indestructible hut

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Greatgg@reddit

If the hut is indestructible, you can't deconstruct it. If you can, so can the T. rex

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Frosty-Comfort6699@reddit

what if it just swallows you as a whole

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Brave33@reddit

gif

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legato2@reddit

I would cover the knife with my poo and stab the T. rex while it’s sleeping ( probably in the legs to hurt its mobility or the cloaca or neck) then retreat to the hut. I would repeat this every night while the wounds fester and eventually it will die.

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AndrewSaidThis@reddit

That was my plan as well, but didn’t consider the poo angle. Seems like the most feasible option.

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TheTwistedHero1@reddit

You aint outrunning a paleo accurate Rex

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legato2@reddit

It’s not the best plan, but it’s all I got lol.

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lutzow@reddit

Ok, but would you keep the poop knife with you in the hut or would leave outside. I mean, it's gross and stinks

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legato2@reddit

500 mil on the line I’ll probably have a bucket full of rotting waste in the hut to dip it in.

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AbortionBulld0zer@reddit

2 hours into the challenge*

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legato2@reddit

lol probably, but I have a plan and I’m sticking to it.

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FURF0XSAKE@reddit

gif

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waffleking9000@reddit

You’d stab a poo covered knife into a T rex cloaca.

Yeah that could work

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amd2800barton@reddit

You just have to hope that the 65 million years of viral and bacterial evolution you carry around in your lower intestine is something that can overwhelm the Rex’s immune system.

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legato2@reddit

Poop wound is ancient technology, it’s like a great white shark. It’s never needed to change. Apex weapon.

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legato2@reddit

It might not be the first target but as soon as it’s accessible and the animal is weak enough absolutely.

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ADelightfulCunt@reddit

What till it's asleep bury it so blade is sticking up and covered it poop. Taunt it a bit and then hide in the hut. May take a while for it to die.

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Hydropwnicks@reddit

Poop knife into the cloaca is crazy tech

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sebastianinspace@reddit

what about the eyes? too risky? too close to the mouth?

what if when you stab it, it jerks in pain, and because it’s so massive, a little movement of it’s ankle is like 5 meters and now the knife is stuck in it’s leg and you can’t reach it?

i think your plan is good though

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drwicksy@reddit

Then the next night you go and take the knife out and become best friend with it for relieving its pain. You dont get 500 mil but you get a new T Rex bestie and thats priceless

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sebastianinspace@reddit

this is so crazy, it… might just work…

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legato2@reddit

Yeah that’s why I was avoiding the head or tail at first. Too risky

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m1r4nd4k@reddit

gif

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miraclewhipisgross@reddit

The old pelt it with poison arrows and wait

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DringleDringle@reddit

This guy hypotheticals

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legato2@reddit

I may die. But at least I have a plan I can implement and wish for the best.

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Cynical_Tripster@reddit

'I may not win, but I'm gonna make sure that fecker struggle for his'

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Ratattack1204@reddit

Yeah i think this is legitimately the only chance lol. And even then its a fuckin long shot

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rvanasty@reddit

Yes. I would try.

If one month passes and I havent left my hut I assume I get to leave?

I wait in hut. Dinosaur must sleep right? He doesnt know the game like me. I wait in hut. Dinosuar closes eyes. Drifts off. Idiot. I leave hut, quietly. Go immediately for eyes maybe throat maybe mouth. Something impactful that impacts ability to easily maintain. I strike quick. I run back to hut. Repeat.

If no opportunity presents itself. I wait in hut.

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Stoltefusser@reddit

You can easily outrun a t rex though

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ineedtheHighGround@reddit

I will be provided food

Feed human food to T-rex that it cannot digest, and hope that it dies to food poisoning

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yumstheman@reddit

T. rex were actually scavengers so good luck with that. They’ve got the iron tummy

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Spiritual-Spend76@reddit

can the iron tummy survive chocolate?

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OkMall3441@reddit

Can iron tummy survive poo?

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Greatgg@reddit

Probably yes, the bacterial load it's used to have in its stomach are probably higher than the ones in your poo

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Greatgg@reddit

Probably yes, chocolate hurts small animals because the dose of caffeine and teobromine is too high for their body weight. A T. rex weights a lot more than you, so it can probably take a dose of caffeine and teobromine that would be lethal for a human and be basically unbothered

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wedditmod@reddit

T Rex is just big dog

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Redmangc1@reddit

They weren't only scavengers mind you, they were hunters and opportunistic scavengers, so they wouldn't turn down a free meal. Jack Horner just really doesn't like the t Rex, he just keeps finding them though and has because an expert unwillingly.

An animal that size doesn't get that size purely from scavenging

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yumstheman@reddit

Oh I wasn’t trying to say they only scavenge, just explaining that they could probably handle whatever rotting or highly processed food OP could throw at them.

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suriname-ballv2@reddit

give it chewing gum

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Reaper-Leviathan@reddit

Why do people act like dinosaurs are some indestructible war machine? Literally just wait until it’s sleeping and slash at both of its eyes. If your cut is deep enough it’ll bleed out, if not now it’s blind so go carve up its legs until it bleeds out

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Solar_RaVen@reddit

So this is just IRL Monster Hunter

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GOATBrady4Life@reddit

Sneak up on it while it’s sleeping and slowly kill it with disease. Cover the knife in your shit and spit and stab it in areas prone to infection. I’d start with the ears so it can’t hear you coming and then move on to the eyes and nose.

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Bernard_PT@reddit

Y'all are crazy for even entertaining this

Even killing an elephant would be hard

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Hanna_Bjorn@reddit

I love how basically every comment variation boils down to poop knife strategy

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psichodrome@reddit

Mathematically, this equates to "free food and shelter for 1 month".

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Sad-Guarantee-4678@reddit

Won't it just pass out with how thin modern oxygen is?

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Chumpybunz@reddit

Feed it the indestructible hut.

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MaximusPrime5885@reddit

Get a loan and use that money to pay someone to bomb the T-rex

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Phlebas99@reddit

Exactly, the hut is indestructible. Pay the army to come in and rpg the t-rex

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Easy-Musician7186@reddit

It's free food for a month, sounds like a deal.

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Hangbxi@reddit

Ask for literal tons of chicken wings and sell em on the black market after the challenge

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OwnHousing9851@reddit

Learn how to make bombs from food products

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wedditmod@reddit

Just feed me indian food, ill show you

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Comfortable-Room-545@reddit

weak westoid stomach

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vyxtrion@reddit

sell the t-rex for more money

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Peternyounger@reddit

I feel like in indestructible hut is a much better weapon then the knife. Get the T-Rex to charge the hut using yourself as bait, let physics to the work.

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jaredjtaylor86@reddit

Thousand cuts add up.

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bitt3n@reddit

just chill in my hut waiting for a meteor

after all, it worked the last time this happened

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PSyCHoHaMSTeRza@reddit

Do a Gohan on him. Wait for him to sleep, sneak up, chop off a piece, run like hell back to the hut before he gets up. Rince and repeat.

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-v-v-v-@reddit

I would place the knife in a chunk of meat and let the T-rex eat it.

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OkMall3441@reddit

I wpuld cover said knife with poo

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SpellingIsAhful@reddit

This is definitely the best answer.

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TamaktiJunVision@reddit

Stand in the doorway of the hut in view of the T-Rex. Hopefully it would try to push its head in through the door and you can stab it in the eyes.

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SudhaTheHill@reddit

Offer to split the 500 million with the T-Rex for the betterment of his family. Win-win.

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Simple-Reporter9102@reddit

Good course of strategy. I'd find a bank, borrow $2 million dollars, paying a flat interest fee of $1 million dollars. I'd buy several tons of meat and pay for it to be helicoptered in. Wait until the T Rex goes into a food coma, and then I'd sneak up and cut a major artery, before fleeing to my hut.

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SudhaTheHill@reddit

I was talking more about becoming friends with the T-Rex and go on to become the godfather to his children

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Jack_SL@reddit

I would steal T-Rex’s wife and kids and live in a suburban zoo. The good ole American Dream Yeehaw

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WhoTheHeckKnowsWhy@reddit

better odds than trying to shank a T-rex with a knife that couldnt pry through it's dead skin.

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Amathril@reddit

Not if the T-Rex is getting full 500M if you die first.

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abdallha-smith@reddit

How is their life expectancy ?

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Johnny_Loot@reddit

Too easy. I know BJJ. Just duck the jaws and his pitiful reach and take the back. Rear naked choke, instantly win. What could possibly go wrong???

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nocreativusername404@reddit

Can't even reach you with those tiny arms

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legato2@reddit

Hell yeah, I’ve been training over 10 years for that moment.

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Xhromosoma5@reddit

Keep the indestructible hut's door/window slightly open and chip damage it while it can't fit its head inside

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kapaipiekai@reddit

Would it be stupid enough to fall for it over and over again? Let's find out

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Thatwokebloke@reddit

We can probably increase our odds of success in fewer attempts if we implement another comments idea of upgrading to a poop knife

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SmallCatDgaf@reddit

I agree,poop knife plus peak and stab equals dead rex.

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dingalinglans@reddit

The Commander Niall treatment lmao.

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curlygoats@reddit

First I'd sneak up on him and stab em with the knife, and when he goes to bite I dodge left then to the right, breaking his ankles in the process. With him in pure agony I go in for the kill with the people's elbow straight to the back of the neck instantly killing him.

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xX_SkibidiChungus_Xx@reddit

I make sweet love to the T-Rex. Promise it the moon and the stars. Tell it to wait for me as I rest in my hut. Then break up with it through text and wait for it to hang itself out of heartbreak.

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En-TitY_@reddit

Wait until it sleeps, sneak out at night and nick it's Cartorid artery. I give it a week.

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Aphrel86@reddit

im waiting til it sleeps the first time, then go on the incoming wind side and starting a forest fire.

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vanilla2gorilla@reddit

Start digging big holes around your hut, get the t-rex to charge after you, hopefully it steps or trips in one of the holes and breaks a leg.

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finicky88@reddit

Good answer tbh. Fill with loose dirt to create a trap.

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El-Emenapy@reddit

Can we add poo?

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MyrmidonExecSolace@reddit

dig with what?

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WickedFlyingCorgi@reddit

Your hands

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MyrmidonExecSolace@reddit

that won't work

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WickedFlyingCorgi@reddit

Why?

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Gastlyperformance@reddit

Be you. You leave the hut and stick your chubby hands to the floor to dig. Yfw when it’s concrete. Yfw you realise it said a football sized arena but never specified what floor was made of.

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MyrmidonExecSolace@reddit

you can't dig big holes with your hands. especially if you're avoiding a trex

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Gastlyperformance@reddit

Why wouldn’t it just eat you while you’re digging?

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fr3nzy821@reddit

He would wait. He's a chill guy.

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MFneinNEIN77@reddit

Dam even T-Rexs can experience the Vietnam War

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Combat_Wombat23@reddit

Welcome to punji paradise you giant lizard fuck

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teddyjungle@reddit

Clearly a very civilized T Rex to politely watch you for the several weeks it takes you to dig deep holes with just a knife and your hands

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VengeQunt@reddit

Sneeze on it

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srijan9689@reddit

Pee on it to assert dominance

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mmbtc@reddit

Ok, some ideas/thoughts:

The knife most likely will not penetrate the skin/muscles, so direct combat/stabbing won't work.

Question is: If I feed the T-Rex some of my food with the knife inside it, would the knife pierce/damage the stomach or intestines?

Other idea: lure the T-Rex to my (indestructible) hut, stay near an exit, vent, window, and use my knife (maybe covered in dirt/rotten food/ feces) to stab him in the eye when he comes investigating.

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Rohen420@reddit

repost subhuman

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lokaps@reddit

As an American, I know I can kill any animal with just my bare fists. Even though my feet are stronger.

If I also have a big knife there's no way.

Good night, sweet rex.

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legato2@reddit

Truth

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ChangingMonkfish@reddit

I mean the worst that happens if you’re very cautious that is you just stay in the hut for a month with free food and get to see a T-Rex I suppose.

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dzernumbrd@reddit

I stay in my hut - don't give it water. It is dead in 3 to 10 days. If it gets weak before that I can go cut a slice in the neck artery to help it on its way.

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ikonfedera@reddit

Am I provided my meds? If so, i modify my doses to fuck up my sleep schedule. Then I periodically throw stones or something at the T-rex when it tries to go to sleep to fuck up it's own sleep schedule. When it finally goes into a deep sleep, I sneak in, stab it in the neck aiming for a big vein, and immediately run away. Repeat if necessary.

According to my experience with sleep issues, you should be able to do so 4-7 times within the month to perform the stunt. And that's if you fail every single time. If you manage to sever a big enough vein, you'll be able to go in and finish the job much faster. Though it all assumes that the dinosaur sleeps every might.

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Frosty-Comfort6699@reddit

is one month enough to share my infinite mc donalds supply with it to make it die from a heart attack?

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ChoiceFudge3662@reddit

Find berries that have narcotic effects, mash them into a paste and slather it on raw meat, also make tranq arrows and a bow, knock out the t-Rex and carve it up.

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Punished__Snake@reddit

If the hut is indestructible and has no openings large enough for the T-Rex to get me when I'm inside the hut there's only the option to try and stab through its eye somehow. As if you're even reaching anything vital with a 10 inch blade if you're not going through the eye socket into the brain

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