Neighbour complains about every possible noise, how would you recommend I deal with this?

Posted by ok2888@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 34 comments

I live in a block of flats and my downstairs neighbour complains about literally every noise, including footsteps and doors closing. I have literally had her knock on my door and tell me to stop walking around my own flat because she's trying to sleep (at 9:30 might I add) she has even sent texts complaining while I've been on holiday and not in the flat, meaning she's either schizophrenic or hearing noise from other flats.

Last night she actually went outside the building at half past midnight and rang my buzzer, at the time I had no idea who it was, but the next morning I got a text from her saying she had heard "footsteps and a chair scraping" since I had got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

I am beginning to lose my patience with her, I am not having massive fuck off raves in my flat, I am literally walking from my bed to the toilet or the kitchen. I have no intention of tiptoeing around my own flat, I can also hear the people above me walking around and have never thought to complain, I personally find it incredibly rude that she believes she can dictate what I am allowed to do in my own flat, at what specific times I'm allowed to walk around, if I get up for a piss after 10pm she's going to go outside and ring my bell.

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Dimac99@reddit

How much noise are you actually making? We practically never heard anything from next door (semi-detached) for 40 years. New people moved in and ripped up all the carpets to put in some form of wooden flooring. Now we can hear them stomping about, scraping chairs and closing doors. If I didn't know better I'd think they have a stroppy teenager. But weirdly, we can barely hear the crying baby. Some sounds just carry more and anything in contact with the floor will definitely travel if there isn't a suitable underlay.

Okay, she might be a lunatic with an unrealistic expectation of silence, but it's also possible that you are inadvertently making more noise than you realise. You don't have to tiptoe, but be aware of how heavy your tread is. From my student days I actually recall that thinner flatmates were more often the stompy ones and heavier flatmates seemed to be lighter on their feet. Honestly, one slim lassie of 5' sounded like a herd of elephants all by herself. It was oddly impressive. Another thing that might help is coasters or even just felt patches for your chair feet.

Noise is something we're almost hyper aware of and extremely stressed by. It's very easy to say "fuck the neighbour" but noise can really mess with our heads. Perfectly sane people can utterly lose their minds. And the modern trend for wooden flooring wasn't considered when most of our housing stock was built. But if you are being as considerate as reasonably possible and she's still ringing your doorbell and texting you (why does she have your number?) then you should keep a log and consider reporting her for harassment.

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ok2888@reddit (OP)

Yes you can hear footsteps and other noises very clearly through the flats, I hear my upstairs neighbours all the time. But the point is that's an issue with the structure of the flooring and not an issue with them. I wouldn't dream of going upstairs and telling my neighbours what to do in their own home because it's annoying me.

It's a classic case of an entitled person thinking that other people should just bend over backwards to support whatever her demands are. I am as quiet as I can possibly be, the problem is that literally ANY noise annoys her, this also includes the opening of the front door late at night, if I come home after 9pm she complains about the door, which is literally impossible for me to help.

ElusiveCrab@reddit

Tell her to stop all communications with you as its amounting to harassment. Then pursue that route if she continues is the reasonable advice.

Personally id tell her to fuck off and give her a taste of her own medicine. See how she likes having her buzzer rung in the night or some actual noise being made

JayR_97@reddit

Honestly at this point I think the best thing is to just ignore her. Block her and don't respond to any of her communications, eventually she'll either get bored or move out

Bluecatagain20@reddit

Play music all day. At the upper end of acceptable limits. If she's that noise averse she may move

I was gonna say start leaving the TV on in the background all day but this works too

LemmysCodPiece@reddit

This is why God gave us Motorhead.

doegrey@reddit

Place speakers facing down on the floor…

GillyGoose1@reddit

Had a neighbour just like this, the man complained about flushing toilets, boiling kettles, and me leaving or coming home between hours he considered unreasonable (which was any time between 9pm and 9am).

I lived within a small block of 4 flats, and he proceeded to fall out with all 3 of the other flats including myself for noise related issues (bearing in mind, us 3 others had been living together in harmony for years, I'd never had a noise complaint made against me nor had I ever made one and I know the 2 other neighbours were also on good terms).

I just ignored him in the end. If he knocked on the door i'd tell him bluntly to direct whatever complaint he has this time to whoever he feels appropriate; I know he tried the police and also my letting agent (I'd already made them aware about the nightmare neighbour and type of noise complaints he was making against me including the strict 12 hour long curfew he was pretty much imposing on the main entrance to the block and they agreed that his complaints and demands were unreasonable).

One night I heard him approach the older lady in one of the other 2 flats in the building undoubtedly to complain about something, but her son was visiting at the time and he came out and blew the fuck up at the nightmare neighbour. Super loud bellowing type of shouting. The neighbour moved out soon afterwards, hopefully to some field in the middle of fucking nowhere where he doesn't have to put up with the sound of human life. I suspect the crickets would drive the wanker up the wall though lmfao. I know you probably don't want to resort to blowing up at her and i would probably recommend against this also, but do just ignore her. If you have to answer the door, just tell her to redirect her complaint as you clearly can't help her and there's no point in her speaking to you. She'll get bored eventually when you're just reiterating the same point over and over again every time she visits.

scrotalsac69@reddit

Drum kit?

LittleSadRufus@reddit

"Will you please stop playing your drum kit at 930pm?"

"No problem, neighbour. I've got other things to be getting on with anyway"

OP puts down the drumsticks, puts on the tap shoes

fernofry@reddit

Did I write this post on an alt and forget? This sounds like my nightmare neighbour from just over a year ago. She didn't bother me for 9 months then just fucking flipped one day and started harassing me about noise every day for 3 months or so until she moved.

She kept banging on the ceiling at like 1am while I was in bed trying to sleep, ringing my buzzer then running away, even sending some guy to try to intimidate me. I also don't think she realised I wasn't the only person living above her, there was another person and a hallway that went over her flat, but somehow she just ended up targeting me only. Absolute miserable old bitch.

grepusman@reddit

How on earth does she have your number to send texts?

PastLanguage4066@reddit

Shhhhhhhh

Pedantichrist@reddit

You definitely should not start ringing her doorbell at 4am and complaining about the noise of her snoring.

dinkidoo7693@reddit

I mean here the local council environmental health department says you can make as much noise as you want between 8am-11pm. Personally id threaten to report her for harassment and id be extra noisy during the day.

SignificanceHead9957@reddit

Just ignore the crazy broad. If one lives in an apartment then one must expect t this.

hamjamham@reddit

If she has a floor below her, go down and speak to the person beneath her & ask them to complain to her every time she complains to you about her noise. She might soon realise that she's being a nana.

BrightSignal8032@reddit

Push back at her once a she should stop. Tell her you can't fly around your flat so unfortunately she may have to hear you waking around occasionally.

Nirnroot_Enjoyer@reddit

Convince them it's someone else, and it's bothering you too.

Then you can become best friends ❤️

SituationMundane5452@reddit

This is so simple really, if she’s texting you block her number, if she’s buzzing your flat tell her to fuck off or you will call the police for harassment.

FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit

Literally just ignore her.

If you want to be generous, write a text saying "Your communication is bordering on harassment now. The noise coming from my flat is within the reasonable levels to be expected from ordinary daily living, and there is nothing I can do about the poor soundproofing. If you are trying to sleep I suggest a good pair of earplugs. Otherwise: this is just what you signed up for when you chose to live in a flat complex. I have been respectful, quiet and patient, but I will not put up with your behaviour anymore. Please do not contact me about this again."

I wouldn't block - just because I would want to keep a record of her harassment incase it gets serious - but I would put her on mute

ClimbsNFlysThings@reddit

Are you an owner or renter?

behemuffin@reddit

Lose your patience. Tell her where to get off, and invite her to call the council, landlord and police if she has a problem.

Decent_Confidence_36@reddit

She’s lives in a flat, people live upstairs, people make noise… I’d say best thing to do it go up a gear till she moves

aXiss95@reddit

Report it as harassment to your landlord. If its a housing association even better, follow their process for reporting a problem. Is there cctv covering the main entrance where your buzzer is? Ask them to check that to prove she is doing it.

Document everything, and report every single time it happens.

Consider getting a ring door bell or similar to record when she comes to your door. If she is abusive then report to landlord and police, and send them the footage.

It's going to be a pain, and a long process.

Empress_LC@reddit

Suggest she gets ear plugs for the night and tell her to either get use to people moving around in a flat or she can move somewhere else. It's annoying in flats because get up and live their lives but people can't stay in 1 place ALL the time. That's impossible.

And as someone else said, you can gather all the evidence and have her done for harassment.

If it’s not your property: fuck em

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